VOL. XXXXIII. ——THE MODERN STORE- Our Big January Clearance Sale Contiiued Another Week, UNTIL SATURDAY EVENING, JAN. 20 Bigger Bargains tban ever in Dress Goods, 3ilks, Table Linens, Crashes, Towels, Lace Curtains, Portiers, Muslins, Ginghams, Calicoes, Furs, Skirts, Underwear for Men, Women and Children. MILLINERY SACRIFICED AS NEVER BEFORE All Hats to be Closed Out Your choice of any in stock for $2.50, sold up to $7.50. Others at 50c, SI.OO and $1.50 EISLER-MARDORF COHPANY, SOUTH KAH run i QQI \ LLI Samples sent on request. OPPOSITE HOTEL ARLINGTON. BUTLER. PA ij Brown & Cos, Remodeling Sale kl M of Fine Furniture and N W • Carpets# Continued, Vd li COA AAA Worth of Reliable Furniture and *€ r# NBTERF. H Prettiest Carpet made, as dcrable too #1.35 ■ RAG CARPETS, Oennine old-fasbioned weave. ■■ ■ MATTING, Hemp and Straw. ■ RUGS-CARPET SIZES. H Axminster Rugs, Beauties too |23 eacb and up H Brussels Rugs, Tapestry and Body sl2 each and up H Ingrain Druggets. All and Half Wool $5 eacb and up H Linoleums, Inlaid and Common, all widths and grades H Oil Cloths, Floor, Table, Shelf and Stair. H Lace Curtains, Portiers, Window Shades, Curtain Poles; Small Hearth ■ Rugs, all styles and sizes. I Duffy's Store. WHY You pan save money by purchasing your piano of Wr • NEWTON, 4 The Piano Man,'? The expense of running a Music Store is as follows: Rent, per annum $780.00 Cleric, per annum $312.00 Lights, Heat and incidentals . . . $194.00 Total $ 1286.00 I have no store and can save you this expense when you buy of me. I sell pianos for cash or easy monthly payments. 1 take pianos or organs in exchange and allow you what they are worth to apply on the new instrument All pianos fully warranted as represented. MY PATRON§ £RE MY REFERENCE. 4 jipw qf the people I have gold pianoy jn But)er Ant* them. Dr. MiiCnrdv Brleker Fred Porter Fratwrnal Order Eagles Epworth League E. W. Bingham Geo. D. High W. J Mates J. 8 Thompson Joseph Wood* 8 M McKee A W Root Miss Eleanor Burton Mrs. Mary L Btrotip WCJCnrrt- •«. ftiM fctmJ UogbM A W Mate* W. H. William* Mr*. R. O. Rambaugh Chaa. E. Herr PEOPLE'S PHONE 426 Subscribe for the CITIZEN -THE BUTLER CITIZEN. Dr. W. P. McElroy Sterling Chib D F. Reed Woodmen of the World H. A. MePhertton Mi«« Anna McCandleas E. A. Hla«-k Samuel Woods Oliver Thompson John Johnson R. A. Look veil J. Hillgard T. E. Bo worn i>. P titer,p' ' W- J. Armstrong Miles Hilllard Mrs 8. J. Oreen J. R Donthett E. K Rlchey L. 8. Yonck BUTLER 'O/) ' / r f Vr _ V New buildings, new rooms, elegnnt new equipment, excellent course of stndv, best of teachers, expenses moderate, terms \ h-Ri L ÜbKALi. . , Over $2,000.00 worth of nt»w typewriters in use (allowui ; advanced students from 8 to 4 hours' practice per day), other equipment ;n proportion: Winter Term, Jan 2, UMMi. Spring Term, April 2, lOOG. Positions secured for our worthy graduates. Visitors always welcome When in Butler, pav us a visit. Catalogue and other literature mailed on ap plication. MAY ENTER ANY TIME A. F. REGAL. Principal, Butler, Pa | Fall and Winter PAWnery | $ Everything in the line cf Millinery can be found, jjj jg the right thing at the right time at the right price at !g I ROCKENSTEIN'S § jg Phone 656. 148 S. Main St. Pre-Inventory SALE. Preparatory to the ANNUAL STOCK- : AKING we will offer remarkable values at our PRE INVENTORY SALE OF MEN'S AND BOY'S CLOTHING. Owing to the extensive assort ment it is impossible to give a detailed descrip tion of all articles. We have planned to make this sale of greater importance than ever, and will place on sale thoroughly reliable and stylish apparel at figures that are below all possible com petition. There is something worth investigat ing in every line of the magnetic bargains. SGHAUL<& LEVY 137 South Main Street. Butler. P». AIEN fi)' 1 -I ; lj Won't buy clothing "or the parpo&e of J lj' ' , II Bpeodtng inon-iy. Th*y desire to Rot the \ J ,■■ // I\! \r.~ j! bettpoaiibli roenlta of the money expended. \) ] '("■ / ) !j Thoso Vvho buy cuitWu clothing have a I ' I ' /( ' rig.it to demand a fit, to have their clothes i-l:'! 'j - 1 oorrect in Btyl« anil to demand of the /~) ■ ■' seller tc guarantee everything. Come to JL/.\ , V ' j UB :ind there will be nothing lacking. 1 \ ■ \ /'<'> ■ have inat received a large Block of Fall ill an "inter suitings }U the latest styles, 'ty'') '*' .j l shades and ix lorn. IMJ E- P - KECK, 142 N. Main St., Butler, Pa [Bickers Fall Footgear. largest Stock and Most Handsome Styles of ki Fine Footwear we Have Ever Shswn. ffl Twenty Fall Styles—D< ngola, Patent WA OWKWOIJ 3HWE3, kid Hn fr Fine Ci ;, f shotM nade in the 1% latent np-todate Btvlea. Extremely larj;e stock of M'- ,es' and Chil- ■ J dren's fine shoes in many new and pretty styles fof fail TA MFN'. f J Complete Stock ol Bays', Yciitht' and LiCie dents' Fuie Shoes. « Bargains In School Shoes, [j High cnt copper-toe phoen for Boya and Rood wat«-r proof School [ I Shoes for Girls. W 1 k Large stock of Women's Heavy Shoes in Kangaroo-calf anil Wil W Oil Oraln for country wear. L'V ; Rubber and Felt Goods, i Our Btock of Kabbpr and Feit t,oolu is eitrouiiy large and fA owing to the large orders v'uich w'e pi tc« d 'vo were Hi.'e to yet very > clone price* and are in a position to offirr you the low ( pncea for d grades of Fplta and jobber Guod-t. VA f An Immense bnsineui enablta aa rx> name the very lowest ( prices for reliable footwear When in need of anything in our line give UB a OHII V A < Repairing Promptly Done. wl ij JOHN BICKELH J 128 s Main St., BUTLER. PA. ii i^.' 1 ••••••••••*••••••• "* ||j J. O. & W. CAMPBELL, BUTLER, PA., THURSDAY, JANUARY IS. 1900. PROFESSIONAL* CARDS. PHYSICIANS, DR. L. R. HAZLETT. 10G W, Diamond St.. liutler. North side of Court House. Eye. Ear, Nose and Throat work, a specialty. JA t \\ES C. 30yfcE,/Vl. D. PRACTICE LIMITED TO Eye, Ear Nose and Throat. OFFICE HOCBS—9 to 10 a. m., 1 to 8 p. m., 7toNp. m. Sunday by appoint ment. 121 E. Cunningham Street, Butler, Pa. BOTH PHONES. OSTEOPATHY. DR. JULIA E. FOSTER, OSTEOPATH. Consultation and examination free. Office hours—9 to 12 A. M., 2 to M., daily except Sunday. Evening appointment. Office —Stein Block, Roogis 9-10, But ler. Pa. People's Phone 478. DENTISTS. DR. S. A. JOHNSTON, PROSTHETIC DENTIST. Teeth extracted absolutely painless. Take Vitalized Air or Nitrous Oxide. All work satisfactory. 127 iS. Main St., " BUTLER, PA. DR. FORD H. HAYES. DENTIST. Graduate of Dental Department, University of Pennsylvania. Office— 215 S. Main Street, Butler, Pa. DR J. WILBERT McKEE, SURGEON DENTIST. Office over Leighner's Jewelry store, Butler, Pa Peoples Telephone 505. A specialty made of gold fillings, gold crown and bridge work. DR. H. A. MCCANDLESS, DENTIST. Office in Bntler County National Bank Building, 2nd floor. . DR. M. D. KGTTRABA, Successor to Dr. Johnston. DENTIST Office at No 114 2. Jeflerson St., over G. W. Miller's grocery ATTORNEYS. RP. SCOTT • ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, Office in Butler County National Bank building. AT. SCOTT, • ATTORNEY AT LAW. Office at No. 8. West Diamond St. But ler, Pa. COULTER & BAKER, ATTORNEYS AT LAW. Office in Butler County National Bank building. "JOHN W. COULTER, O ATTORKKY-AT-LAW. Office on Diamond, Butler, Pa. Special attention given to collections and business matters. HH. GOUCIIEU, • ATTORNEY AT LAW. Office in Wise building. | D. McJUNKIN, O • ATTORNKY -AT-LAW. Office in Reiber building, cornel Main and E. Cunningham Sts, Entrance OD Main street. | B. BKEDIN, •) « ATTORNEY AT LAW. Office on Main St. nsar Court HOUB< - WC. FINULEY, « ATTOBNEY-AT-LAW. AND PENSION ATTORNEY. Oflloe on South side of Diamond, Bntler, Pa. p K. L. McQUISTION, V. Civti. ENGINEER AND SURVEYOR Office near Court House IP H. J. ATTORNEY AT LAW, Office In the Wegley Building, West Diamond WM. WALKER. CHAS. A. MCELVAIN WALKER & McELVAIN, 301 Under County National l'ank Bld'g UFA h F.HTATK. INdUUANOE. OIIj I'KOPEhTIRH. LOANS MoTtl CHUNKS FALL SUITS We can save you money on your fall suit and fit you as well as the beat and highest-priced city tailor?. New Fall Goods Just Received. Write us. C. P JOHNSTON & SON CUSTOM TAILORS, PROSPECT. PfclMN'A Winter's Changes Breed Pneumonia He on the safe side. Have a bottle of good whiskey ready for emergencies. We can honestly recommend for this purpose (•randlather's Choice <;uiiriititeed :j Vrs. Old It's a smooth, paUtHhl" whin^ey—for sooial and family use; $> a gallon. Your choice of any whixkey in list below for ♦ I a full quart; U qts , $5. HXtl, LABdK, ovkbiiolt. til /CKKNHKIMKU. ST. VKUROM THOXPSOft, UIBKON, IIILUIHiKI. IIKMMJKPOKT We pay express charges on all mail orders of $:» or over, (loots shipped promptly. Robt. Lewin & Co,, WHOLESALE DKALKRS 11T Wlifts AND UOUOkS, Ho 14 Smittafleld 8t„ PITTSBCBG, ?A. 'Phase*: Bell 317* P. h A. I4M AltrerUi) in The CITIZEN. i Cbristm as Greens H Christmas Story By Martha l^'CuHocb-HHlliams Copyright, 1904, by Martha NlcCuiioch - \Viih»rr., 6 6 "Christmas without greens: Impos sible'. There surely must be some of a sort in this big farming world," Leona said almost tragically. Her cousin and host, Amos Baker, shook his bead. "None nearer than Sinking Fork," he said. "That's twelve miles off and the chances against finding anything even there—the hills are so low and the valley hardly worth the name." "You must take me to the head wa ters. I know I shall find what I want there," Leoua said imperiously. "Get out the wagonette at once: No matter If Christmas is tea days off, I know u way to keep greens fresh." "Won't you say please?" Amos asked banteringly as he went toward the door. Leona ran after him with the prettiest face of contrition. "Of course I will and 'thanky, sir,' uud anything else In the world you ask." she said, laying her hand on his arm. He smiled at her. "Suppose I should nsk you to say "Yes' to Norrle Cordon. I've a great mind to do it. If Norrie is my brother-in-law, he's worth a dozen of that other fellow." "H-m. You are sure there Is another fellow?" Leona queried saucily, but with a pretty flush. Alius looked supernaturally wise. "There must be,"„be said. "Candy three times a week and (lowers and gimcracks till the carrier wishes rural free delivery had never been thought of—those are signs I've never yet known to fail." "You should uot peck. It's ungentle manly, even In your private mail box," Leona said severely, pursing her lips. Amos shook his head at her. "You fehouldu't flirt," he said, "but today I'm bound to give you a chance. N'orrio will go with you on tills fern ehase, because I'm bound to go somewhere else," "How nice! Norrie Is never saucy," Lna said, with a dimpling smile. It made her so enchanting that Norrie, Just then coming through the door, lost his heart over again for at least the twentieth time, lUe losing gave, him a fearful joy. He too, had read and In terpreted the signs of the post, but as be climbed into the wagonette and sent the horses away at a slapping pace ho put all thought of this unknown rival from him, resolved to eujoy at least one blissful day basking In the sunshine of Leona's smiles. Presently the bent at almost a right angle. Norrie reined in there and said, letting his free baud rest over Leona's clasped ones; "The fork Is Just ahead, but you'll find nothing there. I know. I hunt around It every fall. I wonder if you dare go down In the bllla with me? There you can get loads of things— green cedar, cross vine, ferns and big green briers with leaves liko wax. I know of a holly bush, too, and a clump of pines"— "Why aren't you taklug me to them?" Leona Interrupted, her eyes dancing. Norrie smiled back at her, but there was an anxious uudernote in his voice as lie answered, "Because they're a long way off, not too far for the horses, but so far we'd be In the night getting home." "As if that mattered," Leona said scornfully, "when you know my heart is set on giving those dear babies such a Christmas as they never saw. Your slater Amy says I may do Just what I please. I please to have a Christmas tree, with the whole house trimmed to match, Drive on—like the wind. San eho and Sally will have a long rest while you are helping me hack and hew." "Just as yon ma'am," Norrie answered suspiciously meek. ''But If I haul the tree home, to say nothing of cutting it down, I'm to have my choice of whatever is ou it or under It. Is that u bargain'*" '•lt has to be, but I never thought you'll ho such an extortioner," Loona »alil loftily, although her eyes twin kled. Then she fell silent, drinking in the Joy of the sunshine, of the rapid whirl through the soft December day. 'J'he laudscupe grew more barren, more broken; the Holds were smaller, the farmhouses meaner and less thrifty. Ily anil by the road ran down a steep ridge, only to climb an oppo site one steeper still. The suit littd ljcguu to sink. NOITIC lotthed up at It nppreliengivcly, then sent the blacks lister. A mile farther on he stopped and sprang out, saying as he lifted Leona to her feet, "you'll want your supper before, you get tl, 1 reckon, but Vere wo arc." l.eona cried out In raptures. Before fcer stood a clump of pines. On beyond ilown the rooky slope lay matted urm fuls of long, lacy frond.*. The green briers, also were In evidence. She caught up Amos' pruning shears and began to cut things right and left. Hho WM ( 30, Witout that she did not see Nor- slip away, hut* very shortly she looked up to »et> him dragging In a Mm' J'tlUUg hoily full of scarlet berries. "The kids never saw anything like It," he said as he hoisted It Into the wagon ette and made It fns.s Then he fell to wrenching up ferns In sruifuis and tearing down mats of brier. l.eona looked ut him with some thing of awe. ITe was so slight and light ered back to the trunk. Coming clown this. Leona saw him hitch him self along in a way wholly unlike his ascent. .She did .not know the reason until he stood by the wagonette, saying almost ajiologetically: "I reckon you'd better drive on the way home. My left arm hit that big limb when I fell and put itself out of business." **•••*• Tangly farm at Chrlstmastlde made the neighbors stare. Amy had insisted upon a party. It would never, never do to waste all I.eoi" 1 had brought to pass slniplv upon the family. Greens were everywhere over doors and windows. In nooks and corners and up and down the broad stairway. The tree, too, was a vision with tapers gleaming through Its coral wealth and all manner of tin sel ornaments sparkling amid its green leafage. The tinsel had come from the city. So had the other fellow. Leonn liail been panic stricken at the outset. Now a sunny peace pos sessed her spirit. Since she had seen Norrio toppling against the evening sky—falling, it might be, to his death for his lady's whim -she had begun to question her own heart, more closely than ever before. What answer had re warded the questionings she did not fell. But Kunis Loriug had found her more softly, more subtly fascinating than ever and was ready for her sake to keep terms with nil the rural world. It amused him, of course, that the tret; bore such wondrous fruitage. Trees were not Christmas commonplaces roundabout Longly, so all the people therealsjut had sent their gifts to be piled at the tree's foot and thence dis tributed. After they were distributed there would be supper, then the dance. Norrle would have to lie a looker on. His broken arm was not yet out of the sling. Amos ought to huve been Santa Cluus, but had flatly refused. So Leo ua herself, made up into a startling Christmas fairy, with a black half mask and a pair of realistic wings, ap portioned properly the Christmas tree's fruit, saying things that fitted most cases beautifully and so doubled the value of the presents. Nobody had been forgotten. Kunis Loriug stood hugging a huge tin horn. Norrio's sound arm was fa'irly heaped with bulging parcels, topped with a toy au tomobile. Then the fairy lifted from tbo litter of moss and greenery at the tree's foot a huge pair of spectacles and clapped them upon her owtf eyes. "I am looking far—the person I belong to," she said clearly. Everybody held breath as sho walked up to her two lovers, who by some chance stood side by side. For a breath she studied their faces intently, a beautiful Hush show ing belr>w her half mask; theu, with a little laughing cry she laid her. hand upon Norrie's, saying very low, "This is what you get for finding mo these Christmas greens." (iood Story, Ilnd Copy. The impression that only about 10 |>er cent of the manuscripts submitted to publishers ever see the light of print is, according to observations made by a former newspaper man and now inauiiger for a big publishing house, erroneous. "There Is a demand for good stories among publisher* in New York that Is hardly met by the product," says the manager. "Any manuscript, decently written and with any uift'it whatever, Is bound to re ceive careful consideration. More than that, I have in mind a case In which the llrst consideration was uot met, and yet the story was accepted and pub lished. A California woman sent to a largo house a 20,000 word story-written on what appeared to be discarded curl pajxTs. Vet so conscientious was the 'reader' that he waded through n great part of it under protest, and, behold, he found a gent} A poorly written story, no matter how good the plot or Interesting the theme, has little show, but writers should not IK? discouraged by reports of harsh or indifferent treatment at the bands of publishers." —Pittsburg Dispatch. INTERESTING EXPERIMENT. Buratlnic « Strouit Cask Willi Kilt i* I'lut o! Water. That a smull quantity of water, say half a pint, may t>e made to burst n strong cask seems a startling state ment to make, and yet it is true. It Is a well known law of physics that the pressure exerted by liquids Increases in proportion to their depth. Suppose, therefore, that we have u strung cask filled with water and standing on end. The staves of tUf i >ck, under which there is a cavity filled Willi water that has no outlet. Suppose, moreover, that there Is a crack extending from the surface of tliu ground through tills mass of rock to the water tilled cavity underneath. A, ruck In this condition Is a common thing In nature, the crack being caused by some disturbance of the earlli or by Its splitting In the imtinal order of things. Now, when It ruins enough to (111 that crack, thus increasing the depth •if tlie water In the cavity, the pressure wUI become so great that the rock will be torn Into a hundred fragtueuts PROPERTIES OF GLYCERIN. l)rriini|ioiira If flrairtl iMtrnarly and 4 °r> atnlllcra It I-'roam. One of the great advantages of glyc erin In lis chemical employment Is the fact that It neither freezes nor evap orates under any ordinary temperature, i So perceptible loy by evaporation beeu detected at a temperature less ih.la liOO degrees F„ but if heated In tensely it decomposes with n smell that few persons find themselves able to endure. It burns with a pale flame, similar to that from alcohol, if heated to about 3QO degrees nud then ! gutted. Its nonevaporntive qualities make the compound of much use as a vehicle for holding pigments and colors, ns in Stamping and typewriter ribbons, car bon papers and the like. If the pure glycerin be exposed for a long tTnie to a freezing temperature It crystallizes with the appearance of sugar candy, but these crystals being once melted It Is almost an impossi bility to get them again into the con gealed state. If a little water be add ed to the glycerin no crystallization will take place, though under a suffi cient degree of cold the water will separate and form crystals, amid which the glycerin will remain iu ltg natural state of fluidity. If suddenly subject ed to intense cold pure glycerin will form a gummy mass which cannot be entirely hardened or crystallized. Al together it is quite a peculiar sub stance. HOW BIRDS SOAR. The Kite a Master of the Art oC Soaring. "In the summer of 1872 I was visit ing on the Warm Springs reservation In eastern Oregon," says a writer. "The residences of the government em ployees were in a deep valley between table lauds through which the water courses had cut deep canyons. I climb ed up on one of these tables, the edge of which was in most places perpen dicular for teu, twenty aud more feet, and as I stood there In a strong breeze blowing against the face of the slope a small hawk came gliding along eight i>r teu feet above the edge and follow ing the course of the edge, and he kept on until he was little more than a rod away from me. He seemed to be mak ing no effort except a little balancing aud turning In order to steer himself. The explanation seemed to me very simple. Just there at the edge there was a strong, sharply ascending cur rent which enabled him to use wind and gravity against each other. "In the autumn of that year I went to Fuchau, China, and there I found the city frequented by a species of large bird which we call a kite. It seems to be half hawk, half buzzard. In its build and habits. Its flight Is heavy and awkward. Its wings being too big for its pectoral muscles, aud their tips are uot pointed like a hawk's, but broad and square across. But It Is a master of the art of soaring. There are In Fuchau two hills which lio square across the path of the after noon sea breeze. Here toward the close of a breezy autumu afternoon a dozen or a score of these kites will resort and have a genuine coastiug game. "These hillsides are quite steep, and of course there results a strong, sharp upward current at the top. The kites come to the top and, starting from the eddy in the lee of the top, glide out Into the uprushing current, wings bal ancing up and down nnd head aud tall turning and twisting till they are In the heart of the upward current, and then they turn broadside to it and are borne upward and backward seventy fire or a hundred feet. Then they de scend again Into the eddy and again steer themselves out Into the uprusbing current. Throughout It all there Is very little flapping of the wings."—Chicago News. ERRORS IN ILLUSTRATION. How Easily They Are Mud* In Hurry of Preparation. "Perfection of detail," said the car toonist, "Is very rare in the making of pictures, whether they be painted on canvas by the great masters or drawn In line by men who Illustrate the daily newspapers. It Is the general effect that tells. There are few newspaper pictures—and 1 don't except my own- In which you can't pick some flaw from the standpoint of realism. "In the hurried effort of the news paper artist, who counts the minutes by the clock, there may be some excuse for this, but when we sec a man carv ing a turkey left handed on the cover of a magazluc we must agree that the artist Las either beeu careless or else has employed a left handed model to pose for him, and the latter solution Is scarcely probable. "A fisherman landing a trout on a light rod with never a linger on the reel Is quite a common mistake among magazine Illustrations, and in the mat ter of costumes of various periods the Illustrators sre woefully lacking In In formation. "To Illustrate how apt we are to make mistakes," continued the cartoon Ist, "several years ago I drew a figure representing Cuba, emaciated, starv ing, a thing of skill aud bones. The figure was half naked, and I tried to bring out all the horrible details the shrunken limbs, the gaunt face, the ribs protruding through the skin aud, above all, the hollow cavity where the stomach should have been. A friend of mine, a doctor, took me to task about It. 'Persons who are starving to death,' ho said, 'may be abnormally emaelntod In every other part of the body except the stomach. The abdo men in the advanced stages Is expand ed, giving the victim a grotesque ap pearance.' To substantiate this state ment be showed mo some photographs, tnken In India during a famine, nnd I was forced to admit that he was right." .-Philadelphia ltecord. WHERE HUXLEY FAILED. One "Arl" In WhloU lie Was «or paaard by * I'orler. Kutlier u good story Is told about Professor Huxley when ho was deliv ering a lecture to the Uterary and Philosophical society, Newcastle-on Tyne. The subject was "The Geo graphical lilstrlbutlon of Fossil lte iiiaius of Animals;" consequently nil incrous disgruius were required. Old Alexander, the j»orter of the Institution and quite u distinguished character among the members of the society, was assisting the profusxor to bang tlie diagrams, 'i'lie screen on which the diagrams were hung was not very large, ami Huxley, do as he would, could not prevent the blank corner of one diagram overlapping the Illustra tion of another one on which the pro fessor placed gnut Importance. W hat was to be done? The profess or asked Alexander to bring a pair of scissors. Lord Armstrong (then Hlr William), l»r. Watson and several otli ors wore present at the time. The scissors were brought, but as the Joint was somewhat loose the professor was not able to cut the paper and threw tho scissors down In disgust, adding that they were useless. "Vera guld shears, professor," said Alexander. "I tell you they won't cut," said Hux ley. "Try again," said Alexander. "They Will cut." The professor tried again and, not succeeding, said soqjewhat angrily, "Bring me another pair of achpors." No. S. Sir William Armstrong then stepped forward .and ordered Alexander to go and buy a new pair. "Vera guid shears, Sir William," per sisted Alexander, and, picking tip the scissors from the table and placing his thumb and forefinger Into the handles, he stepped forward and asked Huxley how ho wanted the paper cut. "I tell you they won't cut," said the professor. "Bring me a new pair instantly," said Sir William. "A tell'ee ther'r vera guid shears, only the professor canna cut wT them," replied Alexander. "Well, then, cut it there," said Hux ley somewhat tartly, at the same time indicating tho place with his forefinger. Alexander took hold of the paper and, inserting the scissors, pressed the blades together and cut eff tho required portion as neatly as if he had used a straightedge; then, turning to the pro fessor, with a rather significant leer and twinkle of the eye, said, "Seeance an' airt dinna gang theglther, pro fessor." The professor and all present col lapsed. nuxley put his hand into his pocket and, taking out a sovereign, gave it to Alexander, adding at the same time, "Tou have done me." The :.ame evening Alexander related the story with great gusto to a friend. When asked how he dared to make so free with such a distinguished man, he re plied with great emphasis, "Lord, mon, ihey bits o' professor bodies ken ncath ing at a' except their bulks."—West minster Gazette. When They Cat Their Beard*. In France Henry IV. was the last monarch who wore a beard, and he had a fine one. He "was succeeded by a beardless minor, In compliment to whom the courtiers shaved all their beards except the mustaches. The suc cession of another minor confirmed the custom, and ultimately the mustaches also disappeared. The Spaniards, more tardily Influenced by French example, kept their beards until the French and English were beginning to relinquish even mustaches. Perhaps they would have kept the cherished appendage, bnt a French prince, Fhilip V., succeeded to the Spanish throne with a shared «hin. The courtiers with heavy hearts imitated the prince, and the people with still heavier hearts imitated the courtiers. The popular feeling on the subject, however, remains recorded in tho proverb, "Since wo have lost our beards we have lost our souls." Why Unities Sack Their Thumbs. Sucking Is a natural stimulant for babies. A very young baby tries to get the whole hand In its mouth, but, tind lng this fraught with danger, he grows more cautious and finally falls on tho thumb as the most enticing member of the hand. Sucking tho thumb acts as a safe pick me up to laggard organs. The beneficial effect arising from tho act of deglutition is ono of nature's happiest stimulants. It is generally melancholy and fretful children rather than those who are strong and full of life who develop decided tendencies in this direction. The reason of this is ev ident. In states of depression, whether casual or chronic, less blood goes to the brain; if, then, the thumb be put Into the mouth and a sucking process indulged in the heart will be stimulat ed, new blood will be sent to the br<;ln and contentment will take the place of peevishness. Art Critics and Art. Some one was to be married, for they were buying a wedding gift in a cer tain east side store, bearing that man ner of having money to spend, which will Inevitably assure the attention of the shopwoman. A certain painting, rainbow lined and Inclosed in a large gilt frame, had attracted their atten tion. It was ?1.G9. "What Is It?" asked one, peering closely. "It la bu oil painting," answered the saleswoman. "It has no name on it," announced the first woman, with an air of paving found out what was wrong with tho work of art. "The best artists never sign their work, ma'am." "Are you sure it is hand painted?" "Certainly, ma'am." It will hang on the wall of one bride's home.-Brooklyn Eagle. Tonshaeu of the Aat. Ants are really very long lived, con sidering their minuteness. Janet had two queens under observation for ten years, nnd ono of Sir John Lubbock's ant pets lived into her fifteenth year. Ants are very tenacious of life after severe injury. Following loss of tho entire abdomen, they sometimes live two weeks, and In ouo case R headless ant, carefully decapitated by asei-tlc snrgvry, lived for forty-one days. A carpenter ant after being submersed right days iu distilled water came to life upon being dried, so that ante are practically proof against drowning. They can Ifvo for long periods without r«K*>. Iu one case the fast lasted near ly nine months before tho ant starved In death. Scientific American. Dice Front Billiard Bail*. "What becmnes of the wornout bll- Hard balls?" said an Idler In a billiard room. "Well," the man at the desk replied, "when a ball is only u little off ii is se nt to the factory to be trued up. We get our balls trued tip until they be i-oino too small for use. Then we sell them nt so much per ounce. "After their saie they aro carved i'lto various small trinkets, but In the m .In they are made into dice. Of tho forty or fifty balls rolling nnd clicking live ly here this evening it is safe to any that IK) per cent of them a few years hence will be working Just bb hard in tho form of dice." < urluus Calculation. A European astronomer has recently made some remarkable calculations. He figures that If nil the living reice sentatives of the human race strung out In space und separated fr -m each other by Intervals of a mile tuo line would only reach one-third of tho I distance to the planet Neptune. If sep arated by distances as groat as that oe ! tween London nnd Constantinople the would only reach hnlfway to I'iO nearest star. Ilia rirat Intimation. "How did you And out you could draw?" Inquired the admirer of the celebrated Illustrator. Ify the marks 1 received lu school for the excellence anff fidelity of fay • work," replied the eminent one. "My work was a caricature of my beloved teacher on the blackboard, and the ' marks eapie from the teacher's cauo." —Cleveland Plain Pealer. In tlloaaom. Clara Fred's mother called on uie shortly after our engagement. She snys ! ho Is the flower of the family. Maud® —I guess that's right. His Uncle Johu j says h« Is n blooming Idiot.—Chicago News