VOL XXXIX
f-xxxxxx xxx xx
&NEW GOODS JUST ARRIVED.?
I? Surprising Snaps for Shrewd Buyers.
£ The flodern Store 3
S Offers an array of bargains to its patrons, not of old she l f-worn 9 ** k
fresh, new goods jnst unpacked, and every article that you need and want
S§ during this hot weather season. . .. .
JV The demand with us has been unprecedented in certain lines, so tha
0 we have 1 een enabled to take advantage of special offerings in jR
5 at greatly tednced prices right in mid-season. f>n<. will give our t nstomers
mf the benefit of tuese fortunate purchases, as follows:
£ New and Novel Dress Mercerized Oxford £
Ginghams Ginghams yk
W in all the popular colors, and big Excellent (Quality, —sc yard, g
bargains every one. Batistes fo
K S, 10, 124 and 15c a yard.
Pretty Patterns, 1-4, l >c a yard. W
5 Percales Madras *
dk A Choice Variety, 10, 121 c yard. .
R _ , Prime Qualities, 12*. 10, 2oc a yd. fx
£ Plain and Fancy Duck JK
5 A Superb Article. IS*? yard. BWISBe
S Dimities D : inty ™ uss o .£ l * B 8 yard , 5
g Giaud Values, s. 12*. 15c a yard. Ribbons, and
$ Latest Ladies' Neckwear „ , , nnai;H „ &
££ , t> 1. all colors, widths and qualities. J
MP ana oelt3. t h e latest designs and pat-
We have bests of friends in this terns, not an old belt in the store,
Vj line, we show you the new and all at prices which are fallj as
Cfc things neat and elegant dressers up to date as the quality. We can
appreciate, and at prices that are show vou a display of ribbons and
9k entirely satisfactory to well-posted an array of j)rices that will sur
buyers! prise you. Ok
Large Assortment of Ladies' Underwear
'd? and Hosiery at Special Prices. •
jg Co., g
yj 1221 Mail Orders Solicited $
POSTOFFICE BOX I
dV OPPOSITE HOTEL ARLINGTON BUTLER, PA.
Grand Clearance Sale
RUMMER FOOTWEAR
Bickel's.
We have commenced a-Grand Clearance Sale ol
all Summer Footwear.
We have too many Summer C.ioes and Oxfords
and will not carry a pair over.
Every pair must go during this SAJ E and will go
at away down prices.
Men's $4.00 Wtlt Sole Shoes $2 25
Men's S4OO Patent Kid Oxfords 2 25
Ladies' $3 .50 Welt Sole, Patent Kid Oxfords 225
Ladi«.s' Fii.e Dongola l'attnt Tip Oxfords 95
Ladies' Fine Dongola Turn Sole Shoes 1 65
Ladies' Fine Dongola Patent Tip Shoes 1 00
Misses' Patent Tip Shoes 1 00
M isses' Strap Sandals 60
Children's Fine Shoes 45
Infants' Fine Shoes 20
P.oys' Lawn Tennis Slippers 35
Youths' Fine Satin Calf Shoes 80
Hoys' Fine Satin Calf Shoes 90
Men's Thite Sole, Bellis Tonque, Box Toe Shoes.. . 1 35
Sample Counters Filled With Interesting Bargains
JOHN BICKEL,
128 South Main St., BUTLER, PA.
PfSiiSffp'SZSZ22ZZSZS2S2S2S}
HUSELTON'S SSWa, W
C ■ The Latest Styles Sk The early Summer V j
ft ] and Nobbiest style of Men's Shoes TM
WA shown shown here now are
W No—Not Or\ly tT|e I.tidies! V
y j We have low Shoes for Patent Leather Bluchers
CV MEN, Patent Kid Bluchers W
BOYS and Patent Calf Lace.
GIRLS as well, The slickest lot of
BABIES too! Shoes in forty States
ri m : -y) Take Your Choice! k
[J Patent Lecher Oxfords B
Patent Kid * Bluchers
WA Vici Kid Colonials Take Your Choice k
Velour Calf Sembrich Ties W
W1 Wax Calf Oxford Button
Li Welt Soles or Turn Soles T h is is not the only w
S1 __ , nn Shoe Store in town M
Wm /DC t0 SO.UU, but it is the only place
L V to the newest and styles. W
Fi We get more style and more wear into our jshoes at a given
r V price than any one else you know of.
kl Heavy Shoes for Farmers and Mechanics made to stand a lot of f a
j A mauling and scraping, but GOOD LOOKERS and plenty of toe k*
ft room, 95c to $2.00. A
i 1 Huselton's. k t
■ 1 be fit. Ffl
[ J The most satisfactory k j
Shoe Store ii} Bqt)er. WM
KECK
% Spring & Summer Weights
i | ji /1 ' l*j Have a nattiuess about them that J]
J- [ fffiS / / I )\ mark the wearer, it won't do to
[' j W \ icj f-jjj j wear the last year's output. You
f u —j I frA won't get the latest things at the
>' X/ \*\ |H j K stock clothiers either. The up-to
I Ij \A j J,/ date tailor only lan supply them,
I I \ik 17777/ S if you want not on 'y the ,atest (J
1 II (il l I things in cut and fit and work-
I ( II I I nianship, the finest in durability,
! I I Jill where else can you get combina
' I 111 [| • tions, you get them at
* KECK
G. F. KECK, Merchant Tailor,
t>2 North Main Street All Work Guaranteed Butler,Pa
subscribe for the CITIZEN
THE BUTLER CITIZEN.
I In every town
L and village
ma y \
GST Mica
Axle
c/ r Grease
Vmit that makes your j
"ou'cS? horses glad. I
Nasal
CATARRH /prat
In aiT its stages. M °<o(s> JjUfl#
Ely's Cream
cleanses, soothes and heals
the diseased membrane. 1
It cures catarrh and drives Jf.
away a cold in the head
quickly.
Cream Balm is placed into the nostrils, ppreads
over the membrane and is absorbed. Relief is im
mediate and a cure follows. It is not drying—does
not produce sneezing. Large Size, 60 cents at Drug
gists or by mail; Trial Size, 10 centa.
R
M Johnston's rl
Beef, Iron and Wine
£ Best Tonic j
A Blood Purifier.
► 1 Price, 50c pint.
soldjoniy at] L «
! Johnston's H
Crystal K
Pharmacy, H
R. M. LOGAN, Ph. G .
Manager, Ef 4
ICB N. Butler, Pa k «
Both 'Phones Vi
Everything in the
drug line. VA
ft|
We Guarantee
ALL THE
PAINT
we sell and'the largest paint M'f'g
Co. in the world (The Sherwin-
Williams Co.) stand back of u s
in this guarantee.
Does that mean anything to our
paint customers?
You will do well to consider
this proposition.
Estimates cheerfully furnished.
REDICK &GROHMAN,
109 N. Main St., Butler, Pa.
Eugene Morrison
GENERAL CONTRACTING
PAINTER and DECORATOR.
Special attention given to
FINE PAPER HANGING
GRAINING and
HARDWOOD FINISHING.
Office and Shop,
Rear of Ralston's Store,
Residence No. 119 Cliff St.
Pcopie a Phone 451.
EYTH BROS'
Big Wall Paper Store,
Next to Postoffice.
Special bargains in Wall Paper,
liUnds and ftoom Mould
ings. Farmers find good accom
modation and satisfaction here.
EYTH BROS.,
Formerly,
C. w. McMILLIAN,
'Phone 453. 2515. Main St.
BUTLER, PA.'THURSDAY, JUNK 26. ISO 2
U U U Q u ££
Ethan
aj Realm'l
Copyright. lUJJ, ,f t
■j-j- 4, By C. N. Lurie <|>
.tt ft i$ ±r fcC U
JULY 4, 1777, the first anniver
sary of Independence day,
didn't mean to the people of
Vermont what it did to tlie
other colonies fighting for free
dom. The settlers of the Green
mountains had a revolution of their
own to look nfter, and. according to the
traditions met with among the ever
green hills lying between the Connecti
cut river and Lake ChamplaJn, it was
lucky for the rest of the colonies that
"Ethan Allen's boys" were making
war 011 their own hook in 1777. It was
ill 1777 that Burgoyne was beaten nt
Saratoga. Tin? victory saved the Hud
son valley and all New England to the
patriot cause. Although the battle was
fought almost In sight of the Green
mountains, no Vermout troops took
part. They had given Burgoyne's men
a drubbing at Bennington a month be
fore. In this affair the Green Moun
tain boys put twice their number of
British out of fight, enough to have
saved Burgoyne had they been on hand
at the right moment.
But Burgoyne lost more than bis
1,000 soldiers on the field of Benning
ton. The troops killed and captured
THE QUEEN MOUNTAIN BOTB APPEALED TO
IN VAIN.
there on Aug. 10, 1777, had been sent
into the mountains by Burgoyne to
seize horses for mounting a corps of his
troops ami to bring beef cattle and the
military stores at Bennington Into his
camp on the Hudson. So the mountain
eers had good reason to look upon
Bennington as their Saratoga, the de
cisive battle of the Green mountain
revolution. Just as Saratoga decided
the fate of the American colonies. But
July 4, 1777. would not have been a
day for rejoicing in the hills of Ver
mont had the settler 3 there been in
hearty sympathy with the congress,
which one year before had declared the
American colonies free from the yoke
of England. They had 110 love for con
gress. Ethan Allen was a prisoner in
Irons to the British, and the heroism
which won Ticondcroga had been un
rewarded. All this is Involved In the
story of Vermont's little revolution, her
Independence, her existence.
Vermont became an independent col
ony July 8, 1777, and maintained her
"sovereignty" until 1791. For the rea
son why she did not cut loose on
July 4 one must look to the delays of
legislative assemblies and the limita
tions of horseflesh. The settlers of the
wilderness lying between the Connect
icut river and Lake Champlain, "in
convention assembled," formed an In
dependent colony in January, 1777, and
petitioned the Continental congress
for admission into the confederacy of
states. New york state claimed the
territory as far east as the Connecti
cut and defeated the petition In con
gress. The case was decided late in
June, and the swiftest couriers could
pot reach the Green mountains until
after July 4. Then the colonial as
sembly promptly initiated the defiance
of the parent colonies and adopted
July 8 a constitution which had been
prepared for the emergency.
Meanwhile the fighting men of the
hills, "Ethan Allen's boys," were on
the warpath. The elders might look
kfter diplomacy, and the sons would
back them up. It was In vain *hat
the spokesmen of congress appealed tu
the Green Mountain boys to join the
colonial armies in the field. They would
take no orders from that quarter and
In this attitude did not stand alone.
New Hampshire had a war leader not
less renowned than Ethan Allen, Colo
nel John Stark. Some of the Qreen
Mountain boys had fought with Stark
ft Bunker ill 11, and be loved them as
they loved him. He was a man after
their own heart, too, because when
congress refused him the rank of'brlg
ndier general he resigned to fight oq
bis own hook.
A common peril drew the settlers of
the northern New England colonies to
gether. The whole region was open
to lncursiou from Canada, to forays by
Indians from beyond the Hudson and
to the march of Burgoyne's army in
case he won the battle at Saratoga
So when Burgoyne >vas pushing bis
van yastward in June the mountain
eers rallied on the slopes to defend
their homes and chattels. Stark cross
ed the mountain westward with a fe\y
militiamen and fixed his camp at Ben
nington. He had no food supplies, no
ammunition except the private stock
of his men. But the colonists were in
for a tight and didn't leave it all to
prayers and resolutions. Their fame
had crossed the border, thanks to
Ethan Allen. Stark had friends, too,
even if congress was cold to hiߣtyi»fc.
One of these a merchant of
Hdmpshlre, named John Lang
don, offered his wealth to buy powder
for Stark's men. "I have three thou
sand hard dollars," said Langdon,
"and plate which I can pledge for aq
much more, besides seventy hogsheads
of tobago yum, which may go for what
U will bring."
This speech has become a classic
throughout the mountain region to typ
ify the spirit of the rude settlement in
July, 1777, when Burgoyne was just
across the valley and big p-.av-audlug
eoldiers climbing iue foothills toward
Bennington. Even western Massachu
setts and Connecticut are proud of the
glories of BeuulugtoQ. Stark van »
nun h u u u
• ? r-v; t i e *
"» | ['
Alton's Itt
l»
I .... By .... |tt
x y
Z Wa».yne ~
f \ TT
tt tt ii" tt tt ii 1 i
w. t -i '!«»•« ■)■»!« *s**l* ** m »I"i*
character suited to the more rugged
of the Yankee element, like Putnam
and Ethau Allen. Plain spoken pa
triots have handed down the names of
Stark and Putnam as "Old Stark" and
"Old Tut," and whenever one of the
oldest Inhabltauts tells the story of
Bennington he makes a climax of the
incident of the Green Mountain boys
fighting and winning on powder
scratched together for the occasion by
the sacrifices of a private citizen.
Another tradition in the mountains
is that a parson who had the blood of
Ticouderogu's hero in bis veins—a
cousin, in fact—brought all the able
bodied men of his flock to the battle
field with hunting rifles in hand and,
after waiting for the fun to begin until
the patience of all the camp was near
ly worn out. called ou Stark to protest
against the inactivity. Said he, "Gen
eral, my people have often been sum
moned to fight and have never been
given a chance, and now If you don't
give them a fight they'll never turn out
again." It happened to be raining at
the time, and Stark responded brusque
ly, "Well, do you waut to light now, in
the rain?" "No, uot Just this minute,"
said the parson. "Then," said the gen
eral, "if the Lord once more gives us
sunshine and I don't give you all the
fighting you want I'll never ask you to
come out again."
But Stark was not idly talking while
waiting for powder. lie built lntrencli
ments around his camp on the Hoosick
above Bennington and sent scouts and
couriers throughout the mountains,
even down into the Berkshires. All
western New England was aroused,
and, although soldiers were scarce, for
the army recruiting officers had gather
ed in the youth, every township had its
few patriots able to toil over the hills
to Bennington.
No one cared and very few knew
that the Green Mountain boys were
"DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT IX THE RAD*?'
"rebels" against the constituted author
ity, the CqutiHental congress. Ver
mont's foes were everybody's foes Just
then—redcoats, Indiaus and Tories.
All of Vermont's neighbors were glad
in the end that the little colony was
"revoluting" on her own hook. But for
that her Gre«?n Mountain boys would
have been away with Gates at Sara
toga or with Washington In New Jer
sey. Bennington would then have nev
er been fought, Vermont and the region
east of her would have been overrun,
and victory might have gone to Bur
goyne at Saratoga.
Bennington cost Burgoyne one-sixth
of his whole army. It was his first
check. And a?ter feennington no voice
:ould be found in congress or else
where to deny to the Green Mountaiq
State her sovereign independence.
A Drllont* Point.
''lt seems to make Scaddington's wife
as mad ns a hornet every time he
boasts that he began at th» foot and
worked his way up."
"Well, be started lo as a bootblack,
Ton kuow."-Chicago Eecord Herald.
No fight was ever won by parrying
alone. Hard hitting Is the best parry.
The offensive is the only sure defen-
Hive.
WQST OP^OHTUNITIES.
Don't Waate Your Yonttai Use It la
GMIIne an Education.
How the handicapped millionaire en
vies boys in school or college and would
give half bis wealth for the chance to
lay a foundation which they are think
ing of spurning! How many nn embar
rassed man in public life longs to re
live boyhood that he may correct the
mistakes of his youth! How much more
he could make of his life, of his posi
tion, If he had cultivated his mind
young! He does everything at a
disadvantage. His grasp of documents,
speeches and books iB weak because he
does not know how to study. He must
employ a literary secretary to save him
self from blunders of grammar, errors
In history and biography or in politi
cal economy. is forced to petty ex
pedients to hide his ignorance.
Oh, what a pity It is to see splendid
ability made to do the work of medioc
rity! A man of magnificent parts, feel
ing that he Is by nature Intended to
shine as a leader, is pitiable when
compelled to do the work of an inferior
and plod along In hopeless obscurity.
The eager unrest of youth that chafes
at restraining school walls and longs to
rush to action makes havoc with count
less careers. In after days the old prov
erb will ring mockingly in rtjeuiory;
He that WUI Moi when he may
When'he would he shall have nay.
What are investments in bonds and
stocks. In houses and lands, compared
with Investment In an education. In a
broad, deep culture which will enrlcii
the life and be a perpetual blessing to
one's friepda?
tfo rob oneself of the means of en
joyment which education and culture
give has no compensation In mere mon
ey wealth. No material prosperity can
compare with a rich mind. It Is q per
petual welUprlng of satisfaction, of en
joyment- It enables one to bear up un
der misfortune, to be cheerful under
discouragements, trials and tribulations
which overwhelm a shallow mind and
an empty heart—Success,
| A FOURTH OF JULYI
g MUDDLE PETER i:
•p !ilililililliUUn'\\iiTi l>ete,r^ ,lcArtl 'i' r |jjji'
THINGS were happening so rapidly to May Wellwood that, to bor
row a phrase from the prize ring, she was forced to "spar for
wind." Both Tom Murray and Harry Smythe had managed to
arrange for their holidays about the Fourth of July and had
both descended without warning on the little seaside town where
she was spending the summer with her mother. From the moment of hi 9
arrival each acted in a way that made it clear to both May and her discern
ing mother that he had something on his mind. The rivals kept such a care
ful watch on each other, however, that neither made any progress, and
perhaps this was as well, for both wire tine fellows, and May found it very
hard Indeed to make up her mind which she would accept. While she was
puzzling over the hypothetical question a very bright idea occurred to her.
"I'm going to tell those two boys that as tomorrow will be the Fourth
of July I am going to celebrate it by being as independent as possible and I
want them both to help me. Then 1 can see which one can think up the best
scheme for celebrating Independence day."
When the rivals called, as usual, that evening to see May and keep an
eye on each other, she told them what she wanted.
Immediately each young man saw In his mind's eye the development of
a glorious opportunity. As soon as they could they bade her good night,
after each had vainly thrown out hints for the other to go first, and "then
went to their different boarding places to mature their plans.
Precisely at five minutes before sunrise Harry and Tom met at the gate
of May's home, and each bore a nice new silk
flag. In thinking matters over each had decided |
that he could not begin his campaign too early . V }k9|
and felt that the character of the holiday would | fcH*;
Justify him In making such an early call with Efe
such a present. While they were still glaring p wm efi
at one another and trying to pass the matter off y _jßhfrV fl Jl
as a pood joke May appeared with a servant and ' \ \
prepared to run up the family flag on the staff JBjJ|(!i
"Good morning. Miss May," said Tom. "I J
thought I would give yon a little surprise by "™*
bringing you an American flag." Harry gurgled ,j
something inarticulate to the same effect.
"How thoughtful of you both!" May laughed. _
"Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts *>IJl|W
that beat as one. But you must hurry if you are I—MKg <■ f , -1
to have them flying at sunrise. I think it would "TOO SOULS WITH Brr A BDl
be a good idea for you each to select a gatepost GLE THOUGHT."
and nail your staffs to them."
At the command each brought a hammer from his pocket, and May
laughed so heartily at their evident confusion that she could hardly salute
the flag when the sunrise gun was fired at a nearby fort. She then assumed
as much gravity as she could command and invited them to stay for break
fast. Once more each had the same thought, and both declined.
Neither had the courage to return to her vicinity until the shadows began
to fall In the evening. Then each gathered up the rockets, pinwheels
and firecrackers that he had bought late on the previous night at the one
novelty store in the town. Again they met at the gate, and, though May
was inclined to show her independence by treating them coolly for having
left her to herself all day, their evident chagrin and the similarity of th»
bundles they carried were too much for her risibilities.
"I thought perhaps you might let me set off some fireworks down bera,"
growled Harry, with a side glare at his rival,
g "And yon had the same idea, too, did yon,
Tom?" May asked, noticing that he had ap
parently lost his voice. Then she added: "But
ffjSS L' 1 cant let J" ou kee P right on doing the same
thing at the same time in the same way any
WJ' PTvtl longer. If I did, you would both be firing the
—' l\ Wu' vJ fl- ' rockets together, and that would make the cele-
limj •: bration end too soon."
BIU •': When the shadows had fallen sufficiently, an
11 U mi i' ii:l■' ■: : Idea occurred to Harry. If he would set off hi»
1 Bjfei \ : vij jjj fireworks first, he could get the seat on the
H jj veranda next to May while Tom was giving an
exhibition, and then Tom would be obliged to
-J content himself with the mother for the rest of
0 * the evening. In doing this, however, he under
— rated his rival.
"MAY I HOPE, MIS 3 MAI?" 'TM set mlne off first »" Harr J" Bald ' With fIS "
sumed gayety.
"Oh. thank you!" said May, and Tom chimed in with a "Thank you" that
was rather disquieting. He went down on the lawn by himself and fastened
a pinwheel on either gatepost. Then he started his first rocket, and as it
exploded In bright colors it struck him that the "Alis!" from the end of the
veranda where May sat seemed to blend. But while he was noticing these
things this was the conversation he missed:
"Miss Wellwood —er —May—I may call you May, mayn't I? No, I didn't
mean any pun by that, but —er—l've been thinking of a way to enable you to
make this a memorable Independence day."
"Ah!" said May as another rocket exploded. "You were saying"—
"I was going to say that If you would—er —consent to be my wife you
weuld be independent for the rest of your life. I would do anything"—
"But," said May. "I don't think I'd be showing my Independence by giving
It up on Independence day."
"Oh, you wouldn't be giving it up," Tom protested. "Our marriage could
be one of the modern kind that has the word
'obey' left out of the service. May I hope. Miss -71--j'\jj 1 .
At that moment Harry returned from the I/ J II
lawn sucking a burned thumb and growled ec
"lt's your turn now, old man." jAQnS i
In the excitement of the proposal Tom had TjWTkk f
gTasped May's hand, and he felt sure that she Hlju'twS
bad given it a slight pressure; so he went to the Vlj|nKQZI
lawn to set off his rockets in the spirit of true y/^jyC' Jl
celebration. When he was safely out of hearing,
"I am so glad to get a minute alone with ®|j||]}\/ ' HflUllw
you at last, but that fellow seems to be always
"You are speakiug for yourself, I presume," 11 * *
said May, who for some unaccountable reason "THEY GOT ME ALL BATTLED
felt it necessary to defend the attacked. Harry BETWEEN THEM.
TOitlzed that he had made a blunder, but he thought the best way to get out
of it would be to hurry and say what he had on his mind.
"You said, did you not. Miss May, that you wished to make this a notable
Independence day?" She nodded an assent that he was able to see by the
blaze of one of Tom's Jubilant rockets.
"Well, I have thought out a scheme that I think you will admit is
original," he continued.
"I shall be glad to hear it," said May.
"I thought if you would let me give up my independence to you that I
would in that way make the rest of your life one long Independence day.
Will you—er—Miss May, will you consent to be my wife?"
But Just at that moment Tom's last rocket exploded in a blaze of glory,
and he came back with a hop, skip and a Jump to take a seat on the other
Side of May on the veranda. When they at last went away. May shook hands
with them at the door, and one went away treading on air because to hiß
farewell May had added a tender "Yes."
Laughing and crying at the same time. May laid her head on her mother'#
shoulder and began to explain.
"You know how they both came in the morning with their flags?"
"Yes, dear."
"Well, didn't you notice that they arrived at the same moment this
evening and that both had exactly the same kind of fireworks to set off?"
"Oh, they could hardly help that," said the mother, "for you know there
is only one store in town that sells such things, and there is no variety."
"Yes," said May, "but there was something else they did in exactly the
same way. Each one thought that the best way for me to celebrate Inde
pendence day would be to consent to be his wife."
"And give up your independence?" asked the mother.
"Oh, no!" said May. "They both argued it out very prettily and showed
that they would be giving up their in<l nendence while I would be simply
establishing mine. Oh, they got me all 1 led between them."
"But which did you accept?"
May was about to reply when she suddenly straightened up with the
air of a tragic queen. "Oh, mother!" she exclaimed.
"What is it, my child?"
"I was so confused when they were going away that I can't for the life
of me remember whether it was Tom or Harry I whispered 'Yes' to."
InKaMi on Ilnttcr.
Kq Names Vt-oded. I Many years ago. when John J. In-
A western Kansas story shows how j galls, the brilliant Kansan, was a mem
to be personal without mentioning i ber of the senate, oleomargarine was a
names. | bone of contention. The debate led Jn-
It was lu a poker game at Colby, galls to utter one of those eplgrammat-
The sheriff of I.ogan county had been Ic sentences which made him famous,
steadily losing to the treasurer of Ellis "1 have never, to my knowledge, tasted
county. The tra surer of E'Hs county oleomargarine," said Ingalls, "but I
hail the misfortuuv to be possessed of have stood in the presence of genuine
but one eye. »unt he was a little clumsy butter with awe for its strength and
\\\ handling the cards After a play J n reverence for its antiquity."
which tlie treasurer look a hig pot
from the sheriff the sheriff said. "Gen- It SonnileU.
tlemcn, I ain't a-nainiu' no (tames, hut "How Is the board down at your
If some of y< eo.,'t , t at raisin' cards Jilace?" as! Ed the ribbon clerk,
from the floor •' get his other eye "Oh, we have nothing but health
knocked out!"— Kansas City Journal. food every meal," responded the lace
clerk.
Anxyrlrin Seal*. "Then I don't think I'll come."
The nucient Assyrians nearly 6,000 "Why not?"
years apo put in 111 ist clay their seals. "I'm not looking for the board of
engraved in Intaglio U|»ni precious health."—Chicago News.
stones. 011 chests «ud doors, in order to
preypnt tuelr being opened. There were A M*iter of Enr».
110 locks or keys in those days. If they "You should 1 ,et your ears lopped,
wished to send a private letter, they O'Brien." said a "smart" tourist to an
would often s;ai it with a hlppogriff, Irish peasant whom he was quizzing,
which fabulous winded nurse was re- "They're too large for a man."
garded «s tU(M tal i". 1:1 i f secrecy. Cen "An", bednd." replied the Hibernian,
tuvit n titief the Greeks and Romans "I was just thinkin' yours would want
adopted similar devices for the same- to be made larger Sure, they're toe
Qurnose. rmull for an ass."—Tit-Bits.
nnnn n n n
$± i
»} A Small
" Copyright, ISO-*, by A,
t| ; Douglas Malloch 4 I
t>: ±± i± ±± ±± ±± ±X
V , Ti «T TT •» i 1 14
IF there is one day in the year de
signed, set apart and intended
for the small boy, it is July 4.
He is up betimes, and often ten
or fifteen minutes earlier than
that, and his patriotism and his appe
tite never lag until the ambulance
drives over the field of battle and picks
up the wounded. A correct transcript
of his proceedings during the day
would read about like this:
4 a. tn.—Arose.
4:02. Best of the family arose.
4:o3.—Arose once more. Pa kicked
me.
4:o3.—Threw a squib through the
window. Ma wanted some new lace
curtains anyway.
4KXS.— Pa came outdoors. I rose for
the third time this morning.
4:o9.—Put a firecracker in sis' room.
She put "It" out first.
4:l3.—Baby began to cry, and I lit s
firecracker and gave it to her to plaj
AROSE ONCE MORE. PA KICKED ME.
with, but ma took it away from her.
Ma is awful stingy.
4:2o.—Threw a torpedo against the
front door of the house across the
street. Pa sat down and laughed.
4:2l.—Set off a bunch of firecrackers
under pa's chair. Pa got up and didn't
laugh.
4:3o.—Had breakfast. Ate a piece
of custard pie and an onion.
4:3s.—Set a cannon firecracker off on
the fence. Only broke four pickets.
4:30.—805e again.
4:40.—G0t the milkman's dog to
smell of a firecracker that was Just go
.lng off. I think maybe the dog beat
the milkman home.
s:lo.—Pa said he would show me
how to set off these big firecrackers
without danger. It was one of the
whistling kind that gives a signal Just
before it is going off. Pa didn't know
that I forgot to tell him. Pa lit It In
a minute It whistled, and pa thought
it had gone out ne went and picked
it up; then he put it down again. He
put It down more suddeu than he pick
ed it up, but not quite sudden enough.
Ma put a bandage on his hand for him.
s:ll).—Ma's big rooster came along,
and I threw It a lighted firecracker.
It grabbed the cracker and started to
run with it but it didn't run far. It
sat down kind of surprised and
scratched the smoke out of its eyes.
s:2s.—Sizzer sizzed the wrong way
and burned my fingers. Seems more
like the Fourth now.
s:2o.—Ma rubbed witch hazel on my
hand.
5:34.—Pa said he would hold a fire
cracker in his hand until it was pretty
nearly ready to go and then throw It
high In the air. Just as It was ready
to go I lost my punk, and I told pa I
guessed he was sitting on it He got
up kind of quick to see and forgot to
throw the firecracker. It went off all
right, though.
s:3B.—Found the punk burning a
hole in the porch. Pa is getting witch
hazel rubbed on him now.
s:47.—Had another breakfast Ate
a cold pancake and four oranges.
s:sß.—Shot off my last firecracker.
o:oß.—Asked pa for money to buy
more.
o:l4.—Coaxed pa for money to buy
iuore.
o:2o.—Coaxed pa for money to buy
more.
o:2s.—Coaxed pa for money.
o:33.—Coaxed pa
o:4o.—Coaxed.
o:s7.—Found a firecracker that hadn't
gone off. Set it off.
7:o2.—Asked pa for money to buy
more.
7:ll.—Coaxed pa for money to buy
more.
7:l9.—Coaxed pa for money.
7:3l.—Coaxed pa.
7:40.—G0t the money from ma—3o
cents she had saved to pay the grocery
bill.
7:4l.—Went to the store for the fire
crackers. Set them all off coming
home.
7:3o.—Went down town to see the
parade. The parade is at 10 o'clock.
B:so.—Waited for the parade.
9:50. —Waited for the parade.
10.—Got 10 cents for holding a man's
horse. It waj worth it.
10:10.—Bought firecrackers.
10:50.—Waited for the parade.
11:05.—Parade paraded.
11:00.—Threw a firecracker under
the marshal's horse. He ought to sell
that horse to a dog and pony show. It
can waltz Just splendid.
11:40.—Saw ma st a soda fountain,
and she bought me a lemon soda. She
said it was a shame pa didn't give me
any money to spend the Fourth and
gave me a quarter.
11:45.—Saw pa In a cigar store talk
ing to some men. Went in and brnced
him for some money to spend. The
men laughed. Pa didn't, but he gave
ine half a dollar.
11:50.—Met sis and her fellow. Sis
said it was a shame pa and tua "ny
ther" of them gave me a cent to spend.
No 26
is x£ s~c £a i± jj. is
i» VT «. »• TT T% 14
Boy's |«
% tt
<•> X I
By .... IH
Douglass Madloch 4
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tt «: 8 tt tt tt a:
She gave me a nickel. Her fellow
gave me a dollar and a ticket to the
ball game. Two "good thingsP'
11:31.—Bought as follows: Pink lem
onade. 5 cents; peanuts, 5 cents; fire
works. $1.70.
12:43.—Went home to dinner; ate a
dish of ice cream and a frankfurter.
I.—Went to the ball game.
I:33.—Pound the place where the
board Is loose.
2:3s.—Waited for the game.
3:33.—Game commenced.
3:so.—Man bought me a bottle of pop.
Drank the pop and threw the bottle
at the right fielder.
s:2o.—We won.
s:22.—The man gave me 5 cents for
car fare—another 5 cents for firecrack
ers.
o:lo.—Had supper. Ate some angel
food and liver.
o:2o.—Began shooting off skyrockets.
G:3o.—One went through the front
door.
<s:32.—Firemen arrived.
G:47.—Fire chief says the fire's out
Pa says he's out $127.
o:so.—Pa made me go to bed.
o:s2.—Tore my pants coming down
the waterspout
C:ss.—Pa caught me going out the
back gate. He said I could set off the
rest of my fireworks, but he would help
me, so there would be no accidents.
7:lo.—Pa dropped a firecracker in
among the fireworks. The display was
one of the largest and handsomest ever
given in the city.
7:3o.—Commenced to feel kind of
funny.
7:3s.—Guess it was the custard pie
and onion and cold pancake and or-
HE MEETS TWO "GOOD THUfOfl."
anges and pink lemonade and peanuts
ftnd pop and angel food and liver that
did it
B.—Doctor says I'll be all right in the
morning.
B:3o.—Can hear the skyrockets down
town go sh-sh-sh-sh-poohl
9.—Gee, but I'm tired and sleepy!
Why We Celebrate.
A schoolteacher recently asked her
pupils why we celebrate on the Fourth
of July, and after a long silence one of
the boys answered as follows:
"We celebrate 'cause ifs the only
day in the year we kin make a noise
without gittin' a lickin'!"
Wouldn't Thta Jar Tout
Said young: master monkey,
"I will not tell ma.
But I'm going to smoke
A fine, fat cigar!"
But a big firecracker
He mistook for tobaccer.
And he never got over the Jar!
NATURAL HISTORY.
There are forty-eight different kinds
of house fly known and classified.
The pig is the only domestic animal
in which no case of cancer has been
noted.
The Spanish mackerel Is one of the
fastest of food fishes and cuts the wa
ter like a yacht.
Fish swallow their food whole be
cause they are obliged to keep contin
ually opening and closing the mouth
for the purpose of respiration.
Siamese cats, both in appearance and
character, closely resemble pug dogs.
Even their tails have the curious curl
so familiar in these stolid dogs.
Animals are found to be subject to
hypnotic influence. Lobsters, it is said,
can be hypnotized by standing them
on their heads five or ten minutes.
There is no wild breed of fowl to
which the Brahmn or Cochin can be
traced. The gamecock seems to be de
scended from the Cingalese Jungle
fowl.
The flesh fly produces about 20,000
young in a season. The larvae are
hatched almost instantly from the egg
and at once begin their work of de
struction.
A Contrast.
"Papa, who is that gentleman over
there on the porch?"
"Don't you remember him, my child?
He is the gentleman we met in the
restaurant today who chatted so pleas
antly with us while he waited about
twenty-five minutes for his lunch."
"He doesn't seem very pleasant now,
papa."
"Oh, no. He's at home now. See
him tearing the newspaper Into shreds
and trying to throw his hat through
the door. lie is very angry because
it has taken his wife a little over four
minutes to get his supper ready."—ln
dianapolis Sun.
A Hindoo Snperatltloa.
When visits are exchanged by the
friends of the Hindoo bride and groom
to complete arrangements for the wed
ding, great attention Is paid to omens,
which are considered especially potent
then. For Instance, if the groom's
messengers should meet a cat a
fox or a serpent they turn back and
seek a more propitious time for the
errand. After the bride's father has
received the offer he must delay re
plying until one of the übiquitous liz
ards in his house has chirped.—Wo
man's Home Companion.