Butler citizen. (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, July 18, 1901, Image 1

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    VOL- xxxviii
July Sale.
We have concluded to have a grand clearance sale
during the month of July««prices away down--you can
buy goods during this sale at a big saving. We know
July and August are dull months and we are going to
offer some big bargains.
Men's SSOO and $6.00 A A A
fine shoes at •\J\J
Men's $3 5° ami $4.00 O KH
fine shoes at
Men's 3'*.50 Oxfords i) i) \
shoes at."
Men's fine calf and Vici- 1
kid s2.Q>o shoes at.... ' j
Hoy's fine kid and patent 1 *7 X
leather s}.oo shoes at 1 ' ' i
Men's fine satin-calf 1 AA 1
shoes at J.UUj
Men's and Boys' working shoes
of all kinds at reduced prices.
Ladies' and Misses' every day
shoes at a big reduction.
We have made reductions in all lines
and aek you to call and examine our
goods and we can save you money.
I | we haven't a thins:
W I against cur neighbors K
k\ ( BUT,--?-well, say!! (
( Farmers and \
I mechanics C
P \ get better shoes f
c and more for \
| | their money /
V < Huselton's i
I' 1 '
i than any other \
S place in the r
/ Keystone State.
Spring Styles fit
E Have a nattiness about them that E>f Tt I fv\ /T
marks the wearer, it won't do to r) iIS k HEo /J 1A
wear the last year's output. You J'J \J \[a 7 (-Q p\
won't get the latest things at the V Q r%~v/ V,-, 44
stock cloth ier9 either. The up-to *' 1/ OV if/
date tailor only can supply them, Y I J]J
;if you want not only the latest I ! • If Y* T/l « 8"
things in cat and fit and work- 4 I / I U I
manship, the finest in durability, 1 J If ill I
where else can you get combina- Ml I II II I
tions, you get them at / 1 j In ll*
G. F. KECK, Merchant Tailor,
42 North Main Street All Work Guaranteed. Butier, Pa
Removal Notice!
C. F. T. Pape,
Jeweler and Watchmaker
Will be found on and after April Ist at
121 East Jefferson street, opposite G.
Wilson Millers Grocery Store,Butler,Pa.
If :.r For special occasions or ordinary we
I ' \ can be selected from tlielarqe assortmen
of trimmed hats, ranging fumi.oo up
■ ;vV. 1/?.-' ... . m wards, cannot be duplicated by any sold
«: ■ elsewhere at such low priees. Our mod-
Bt.' A®** vj els are artistic and beautifully develop
■ ".j * v, ' ' e< J i" th e ncw millinerymaterials such as
-1 ... x Corded Chiffons, Persian, Moussilines,
fly''' ' J Irridescent Tulla and Oriental Gauze.
Value and style are delightfully com
**'' *%. '"V bnd in our summer hats. The display is
' -ill decidedly interesting; aso our prices.
. V ,'.v Come and see them at
328 South Main Street. - - Butltr, IPa
Subscribe for the CITIZEN.
Ladies' fine Dongola
$3.50 and $4.00 at.. .. o*
Ladies' fine Dongola O (kA
$2.50 shoes at * "
Ladies' hne Dongola "I AA
$1.50 shoes at
Misses' fine Dongola shoes 1 X A
J $2.00 <md $2.50 grade at *
Ladies' fine Dongola (JO
patent tip Oxlordsat...
| Boys' fine satin-calf shoes at 90
•• YOU WANT ...
If *o —now U your Uumi u. js*
k GREM Oaiib. j ;
F!m iad or Wal&al Organs at
HamlflAS Org;n», ft end I itc.-S.
S4O to $45.
Mapifloect Hamilton Organs, 6 to il ..tops.
SSO to S6O.
Ssaliful ESTEY ORGANS trom $35 to 55a
Special drive an uLc.J *0 elegmnt
To daoe nut this tot re hare cut prium la
ball—ytwr cbuto* koa CM to 1990
Uw Mateideas A. B. Ores# Kaaoi*.
leqjneetiopaMj Ctta flue*t 11auca La itaa
TorU. Abuxrt B erf (Mi fttlT* «|k oI
II m iro«M aw iUt to fist an » Dm
Auk, wrttaatadoeta BAOTjItHKi
gray tmnraaeat fnawumd UDg.
CUler Writ* tar Prtcwaad CMafeKMa w
|»~7 Fifth Avenue, Ptttobun,
X fhe Cure that Cures /
(Soughs, &
\ Colds, i
S Grippe, li
Whooping Cough, Asthma, 1
,<j Bronchitis and Incipient A
Consumotlon, Is
| ?
V~ Cure.j*A\TCiA VVIW^
Some Reasons
Why You Should Insist on Having
(Jnequaled by any other.
Renders bard leather soft.
Especially prepared.
out water.
A heavy bodied oil.
A" excellent preservative.
Reduces cost of your harness.
Never burns the leather ; its
Efficiency is increased.
Secures best service.
Stitches kept from breaking.
|s sold in all
Localities ManeftKtui»l by
Standard Oil Companr*
¥be 5 Minute Breakfast Food.
Purine Health Flour
M a kp^
PURINA MILLS, St. Loxjis, Mo.
OS Shouldn't WA
YA Suffer
Ll With WA
wa Corns or kf
L« Bunions pj
When [J
A Corn Tfl
! win ti
i Cure |
Them j l
J Short W
* Time. LJ
{ Price w
* 25 cents.
i Put f
> Up and M
A sold m
r y I
W Johnston's f
| Crystal fc
ri Pharmacy.
VA U. M. LOQAN, Ph. 0., k
Manager, V A
| rA 108 N. Main St., liutler, I'a
Both 'Phones.
VA Everything in the k
M(3tel Nixor^
215 N McKean St, Butler,
Having rented this hotel for another
year, I again invite the patronage of
of my old friends and the public gener
The fvpiy woman
Li vis on the moor;
flht alcepa in a tent,
With a curtained door.
Low 1« her dwelling
Anil hard her bed,
But the stars at night
Are a crown (or Utr Wad
Rough is her greeting
From all that's human.
But the morning smiles
At the gypsy woman.
The wind i# her harper
Anil brings from far
liis 9ongs of wooing
And shouts of war.
On the printed page
She need never look;
The changing sky
Is her holy book.
the knows not the call
Of church bells ringing;
Tfce falling rain
Makes sweeter singing.
And the voice of the lark
At morn and even
Is a key to open
The gate of heaven.
—West mi nster Gazette.
V A Story of the Higher Edu- V
6 cation of Women. g
"Woman." saiil the professor, "was
made for the home. There she stands
on a pedestal, from which it Is a griev
ous thing to see her step down."
Now the professor is acknowledged
to he one of the wisest men in Europe,
and it was Impossible that a girl of
Sibyl's age should contradict him. Be
sides, Sibyl has been very nicely
brought up and wouldn't think of con
tradicting a person so much older than
herself, even if he had been merely an
undergraduate Instead of a professor.
So she looked very politely interested
in the remark and said nothing.
Silence on the part of the other per
son always lures on a m»n to say more
than he ought
"I am sorry," the professor contin
ued after a pause, "to hear that you are
coming up next term. I had hoped that
your dear mother —one of my oldest
and best friends—would have had oth
er views for you. She at least knows
well that I disapprove, deeply disap
prove, of this most unseemly attempt
of women to enter upon university
"But, professor, that isn't very kind,"
Sibyl was obliged at last to remon
strate. "I understand that I shall have
the pleasure of attending your lectures.
That is, if I get through my examina
tion, and I'm going up for it next
"Yes, I am sorry to say—l mean, I
am glad—aii-h-h "Won't you take
another cup of tea?" Sibyl is the kind
est hearted of girls and wouldn't hurt a
fly unnecessarily, and so she said she
would like another cup of tea very
"Woman," the professor repeated
when he had returned to his usual ab
straction, "stands on a pedestal in the
domestic " ircle. It is truly grievous
that she should be willing to join in
the struggles of masculine life." He
had atten \'d, as an experienced person
will perceive, the last Union debate on
the degree ijuestlon, and the eloquence
of the debaters was echoed from the
.lips of the i rofessor.
Sibyl tried to consider herself from
the point of view of her domestic cir
cle, but failed to remember that their
mental ati:;ude In relation to her had
ever been that of those who look up ad
miringly toward the statue on its ped
"Professoß I will not struggle," said
she. "I promise to submit to your au
thority on all questions, whether of dis
cipline or of Arabic. I promise never
to Join In a sth of November row, and
you know that women students are al
lowed neither boat races nor bump
The professor answered that she was
evading the question at Issue. He said
that ladies usually do so, and Sibyl
went home with previsions of universi
ty life a little less bright than they had
been before. But she was none the less
determined to go up and to devote the
next period of her life to the studies
which were illustrated by the pro
Three years later the professor sat
In Sibyl's room at Browning—it was a
charming little room, looking on the
terrace—and he congratulated her. Was
she not the most famous persou of the
week? Had not every morning paper
a leading article in praise of woman as
personified In Sibyl and all the evening
papers portraits of her, portraits whose
only point of similarity was their un
lireness to Sibyl? Editors were asking
Her for an article on the education of
women at universities, and publishers
would have her edit a new series of
eastern writers for ladles' schools.
The professor looked at her with ad
miration. She was the most brilliant
pupil given to him for many a day, and
lier suggestions In the way of emenda
tion were marvelous. Now, now at last,
the professor saw his visions of long
years taking upon themselves a sem
blance of reality; they should become
real in the near future. That great
work of his on the Aesthetics of the
Acadian* might now be accomplished.
The materials for It were complete.
He had spent on them all his leisure
time since his appointment as Plantag
ecet professor. But as for the writing
of the book, from that he shrank. Somo
younger man must collaborate, use the
professor's stores, undertake the labor
of writing and add to so much knowl
edge the enthusiasm of youth. For
some time he had waited until the fit
ting person should appear among his
meu. The Ktudcut, lur-g expected, was
come at last, but unfortunately from
among the women. No, nothing could
be unfortunate if only the person was
found. And Sibyl was delightful to
work with.
•'.."e >•'. beat the Germans now,
, il.i. t t<!i eir own ground," said
ii . p . .i until.v. "It is a revenge
for lu. aj many years."
Rfhyl looked at him in nerplexlty, for
she failed to see the connection. The
professor explained at full length, and
Sibyl listened. "You will come up
ngain, of course, for a few years," he
i.:..!, "and v.e will set to work as soon
as possibh. Your name will appear
with mine on tlie title page. You will
have a reputation for scholarship that
will go beyond Berlin, it is fortuuate
that your name Latinizes so well. Per
haps—l do uot know—your Latin style
is really quite fair for one so young.
Perhaps we might even bring it out In
two versions, a Latin and an English.
This would not add appreciably to the
number of years we are to devote to
the work and might repay us nobly.
There are continental scholars who are
uot altogether familiar with English."
Sibyl said nothing. She was thought
fully looking out over the geraniums.
and the pro/ossor grew uneasy.
"I assure you that you are perfectly
qualified for the work, abstruse and
onerous as It is," he said, "and you are
the only pupil I ever had of whom 1
could s»v as much."
"You are very flattering." answered
the most distinguished graduate of the
year, "and I am afraid you rate my
powers too highly." The professor ea
gerly Intimated by gesture that she
was mistaken. He was so breathless
with apprehension that he would not
Interrupt by words. "I am so sorry
that I shall not be •able to collaborate
In the work. You do me a great honor
In asking me. But, you see, I am waut
ed at home."
Then the Plantagenet professor scoff
"At home!" said he. "Why. anybody
can attend to your duties at home. But
as for what I am suggesting to you.
there is not one man in -0 years that la
capable of doing it. As for women"—
Words failed the professor here. "You
will be known as a scholar to all the
scholars of Europe. Do you under
stand? You will be regarded as an au
thority for many years to come. And
think of the honor yon will ir.tSti for
your college and for your ;.cx." The
professor spi.ke the words without hes
itation. No thought of an earlier con
versation Willi Sibyl had remained In
his mind, which indeed was crowded
with more iu.|h> rlnut things.
"It is a r l ''?'." she answered placidly,
"but. you see. my p'-op!" really want
me. My mother I'.kes to have some
body with her w!n t she is making
calls, and my sisters will it- t Im> out of
the sehoolro ':' itw *"tne years. Then
I write my father's business letters for
him and help to teach the childreu and
make their frock*. I have a good deal
of taste in dressmaking. An excellent
modiste has si'.id so. 1 had lessons
from her. though of course 1 know it
Is the fashion to suppose that a woman
who cares for study must be absolutely
useless in domestic affairs."
The professor broke out In auger.
"Anybody can make frocks." he cried.
"No, indeed, you are mistaken," she
answered. "It is a most difficult busi
ness to make them nicely. That Is why
they are expensive."
"But do you not see." said the pro
fessor again, "what an opportunity you
will lose if you fail to adopt my sug
gestion? You are losing your chance of
fame. You leave undone a great work
of incalculable benefit to scholars. And
for me—l see no hope of finding anoth
er to take your place."
"I am very sorry," answered his pu
pil, "but indeed my parents want me
very much at home. And I feel that my
place Is there. I shall not be able to
come back next term."
There was agalu a debate at the Un
ion. and again the professor dropped in.
The proposer was speaking. He was a
young gentleman of much eloquence,
and he carried his audience with him.
"L,et us resist to the death," he said,
"any attempt to encourage further the
so called higher education of women in
this university. Woman was made for
the home. There she stands on a pedes
tal. Shall we assist her to descend from
that pedestal and bemlre herself with
joining In the struggles of masculine
life?" The audience raised a storm of
applause. The professor groaned and
went out.—Ladies' I'ictorial.
Th<- Game of Clieas.
The game of chess differs in the vari
ous countries of the world. Thus, In
the Hindoo game, four distinct armies
are employed, each with their king,
each corps countlug among Its fighters
an elephant and a knight which slay,
but cp**not be slain. The Chinese game
of chess, which boasts of the title of
ehoke-choc-kong-ki (the plaj of the sci
ence of war), has a river running
through the center of the board, which
their elephants, equivalent to our bish
ops, cannot cross, and there is a fort
which their kings cannot pass.
Under the Sanskrit name of chatu
ranga a game essentially the same as
modern chess was played in Hindustan
nearly 5,000 years ago. From Hin
dustan the game is said to have been
carried to Persia and thence to Arabia.
The Arabs introduced It into Spain and
the rest of western Europe during the
eighth century, wher« it became the
principal pastime a boat the year 1000.
Niitlit and Morning* Bella.
In the picturesque village of Allesley,
Warwickshire, England, an ancient
custom, which is found to linger here
ind there. Is still observed. The church
bell is rung at 5 o'clock every morning
In the summer and at 6 o'clock In the
winter in order to arouse sleeping vil
lagers and enable them to start work
In good time. The curfew bell is also
tolled at 8 o'clock each evening.
Ti me and Telephone Work Wonders,
"I was startled the other day and In
an entirely new way," said a prominent
electrical engineer. "The use of the
telephone has become so much a part
of my life that in talking with my
friends and acquaintances every few
days I apparently kept up the ac
quaintance as of old, when I used to
Bee them more regularly. A few days
ago I had occasion to visit an old time
friend of mine with whom I had talked
probably once a week or oftener for
the past tlireo or four years, but whom
I had not seen during that period.
"When I met him, I was startled. His
black beard had turned gray, almost
white, and he had changed In other
respects, as was natural, during the
three or four years of that period, yet
through the use of the telephone I had
In my mind's eye seen him as of old
every time I had talked with him, and
you may Imagine how surprised, even
shocked, 1 was to see this change in
"Did you ever have a simlliar experi
ence? I Imagine the increasing use of
the telephone causes many of them.
You hear the usual voice oil the tele
phone and mentally picture the friend
as he looked when you saw him last,
which may have been a year or several
years In the past."—Electrical Review.
Hont Lntmnal.
Jack Potts—We had a remarkable
game of poker last night.
Asa High —How remarkable?
Jack Potts—The amount the losers
claimed to have lost tallied exactly
with the amount the winners admitted
they had won.- Philadelphia Press.
An explanation.
She—l don't see why Clara has so
many admirers. She can't speak a
word of French and neither sings nor
He—Well. I suppose that is the rea
son.—Chicago News.
One Wna Knongh.
"Was Gobang's marriage a euccesa?"
"I hardly think so. I heard him say
the other day that he would never go
to the penitentiary for bigamy."—
Brooklyn Eagle.
A Rouffh Rider.
I<la—l rode a mile on an old cushion
tired bicycle.
May Well, wouldn't that Jar you?—
Chicago News.
Wfceu God upon our little world look* dowa.
In it« own fttrenuou* pros 90 paatin# crre«t,
So rapt with tort, the pen. the aword, the crowm,
Maying it« game of fortune, 1-me or state,
IXtu he not untie, the patiint On** who knows.
Keeping ua gently in the onward war,
Hatting, with kindly thought, the cve&ing'a cloto
\Yh«a we aliall tire ot ?
And life'a vaat tragediea. its «ina and wrong?.
Are they not but as wound* that children feel.
A tale that to the nursery belong*
Of hurts left for his tender touch to heal?
Docs he not smile, the good God of us all.
Knowing how sure his love for every one,
Making things right when evening's ahadowe fall
And the rough p!a% is done?
—Ripley D. Saunders in St. Louis Rt-public.
o o
It was the day after the wedding and
wet enough to damp the ardor of the
most devoted of bridegrooms And
John Hampton was not the most de
voted. He had married, as most cau
tious and sellish young men do, be
cause he wanted a home and some one
to look after his home comforts. Ho
had tried housekeepers, but they had
proved failures one and all. They
wanted too many evenings out. and
their appearance was not calculated to
decorate any smart little suburban
And so John meditated deeply about
the matter. Should he hamper himself
with a wife or should he engage an
other lady housekeeper and see how
that worked?
"Why uot combine the two and get
a wife as well as :t lady housekeeper?"
thought John, and so he kept a sharp
eye round him for a bright, pretty do
mesticated girl whom lie could honor
with his Intentions with a view to mat
And at last his diligent search was
rewarded. Madeline Gray possessed
every attraction and virtue that John
had determined his pretty wife should
have. She was pretty, brilliantly pret
ty. Her hair was like spun gold, and
her eyes were as blue as the bluest of
china; but. as John Hampton remark
ed. beauty was not everything, and
Madeline's hands, though small and
white, were the nimblest in the world.
She could knit, and she could sew, she
could wash, and, yes, she could even
scrub, and do It all in the daintiest and
most becoming manner too. Truly.
Madeline Gray was a Jewel which only
required the setting of that little Nor
wood villa to perfect.
And John nampton thought himself
extremely lucky when this model of
virtues accepted his attentions and lat
er his dignified proposal of marriage,
and that was how he happened to be
looking out of the window of his mod
est little apartments at Brighton one
very wet day in May.
The scene was depressing enough.
The sea looked dark and gloomy, the
beach was deserted, and now and then
a dejected looking Individual enveloped
In a mackintosh hurried along the pa
rade with the seeming object of get
ting home as quickly as possible.
"Honeymoons are a mistake," said
John to himself. "If I hadn't wanted
a change of air, I shouldn't have come.
It's an Ideal morning for the seaside, I
must say."
At that moment Mrs. Hampton en
tered the room, and he turned to greet
"Not a very charming morning, my
dear, is It?" said he amicably.
"Well, what can you expect from a
place like Brighton?" said his wife
coolly. "It's all the same here whether
It rains or shines."
John raised his eyebrows In surprise.
"Why, my dear"— he began anxious
"You thought I liked Brighton, 1 sup
pose," interrupted Mrs. Hampton calm
ly. "Well, it's a pity you didn't trou
ble to Inquire before. As you arranged
this holiday yourself, you mustn't
grumble, and now come and have your
To say that Xlr. Hamptou was sur
prised is stating the case too mildly.
He was simply astounded. He looked
at liis wife as at some Chinese puzzle.
Was this self possessed and command
ing woman really the meek and sub
dued little maiden he had married the
day before?
And yet there she sat, her golden
head as golden as ever, her eyes as
blue, pouring out the coffee with as
much sang froid as If she had been
Mrs. Hampton for years.
"1 presume you ordered this break
fast," she said as finished her task.
"Yes, dear," said John. "Is there"—
"No, there Isn't anything I like," she
replied, without troubling him to finish
his remark, and looking at the viands
ou the table. "Will you please ring the
John obeyed, and when the maid ap
peared she gave an order for a new
laid egg and a piece of hot toast, pass
ing the cold meat to her husband with
the dignity of a queen.
And a very good breakfast she made
too. Jobn was rather taken aback. In
his Idea delicate and refined women
should eat very little and of the dainti
est viands, and this morning meal of
his wife's surprised him as much as
her manner had done. She had acted
so differently during their engagement.
Evidently he had misunderstood her,
and he determined to assert his author
ity as her lord and master at once.
There was no time to lose. "Let a wo
man get the upper hand," thought
John, "and your influence is gone for
And so, after the breakfast things
were cleared away, he told her to put
•n her bonnet and accompany him for
a long walk.
"Good gracious, John, are you mad?"
said his wife. "In weather like this!"
"Certainly. It will do you far more
good than stopping at home. Come, do
as I tell you."
Mrs. Hampton loowd at him scorn
"John (lampton," she said firmly, "if
you like to go out and contract a chill,
I've no objection, except that I shall
have the trouble of nursing you, but
don't take me quite for a fool. I shall
stay indoors and write a long letter to
And so, very much crestfallen at his
first attempt to assert his authority,
John put on his hat and went down on
the beach and amused himself by mak
ing ducks and drakes on the waves.
But in time tills sport became tame,
and, after buying some cigarettes and a
newspaper, he retraced his steps once
more to the house.
On his way he passed a couple who
were walking under a large umbrella.
The man had his right arm round the
girl's waist, and the girl held up &
radiant face to his and was chatting
charmingly. They appeared to be per
fectly oblivious to the rain and every
thing but Just themselves.
For some reason or other John sighed
heavily and tlien to»excuse himself of
the weakness looked after them con
temptuously and denounced them as
deluded fools.
When he reached home, Mrs. Hamp- i
ton met lilia at the door and asked i
him to kindly post her letters. There
were two—one to mamma, certainly,
but the other was addressed to a young
man who had been a frequent caller at
the maternal home until their engage
ment was announced.
"Excuse me," he said In a dignified
'manner. "May I be Informed of the
contents of this letter?"
"No, you may uot." said Mrs. Hamp
ton stiffly. "And your request Is an
insult. Pray make haste back, as lunch
eon is 011 the table."
And again John obeyed, though with
very 111 grace.
The next day Mrs. Hampton declared
that honeymoons were very dull.
"You had better give notice here and
pay the week's bills and take rooms at
one of the best hotels. It will be a
treat to see a few people at mealtimes
even If one does not speak to them."
At this John made a strenuous pro
test. He hated a large gathering, he
said, and much preferred a quiet life.
Besides, lie was hurt and mortified that
she should so soon tire of Ills company.
In a honeymoon a wife and husband
should be all and all to one another. It
should be a brief time sacred to them
selves. a time when there should be no
Intrusions from the outside world.
But Mrs./ Hampton only curled her
pretty Hps. •
"That's all nonsense," she said, with
a derisive laugh. "You only read about
that sort of thing in books. In real life
a marriage is a very prosaic matter.
When we return to town and you go to
business, it will be different. I shall
entertain my friends then and shall
have plenty to amuse me."
And so to the hotel they went, and
after that Mrs. Hampton couldn't com
plain that she saw too much of John.
She became a great favorite with the
visitors there and was always Joining
in some expedition or the other, and it
was with a great sigh of relief fronf the
happy bridegroom that the holiday
came to an end.
How pleasant the little villa at Nor
wood looked after those desolate rooms
at the hotel. Even Mrs. Hampton ad
mired John's taste at the manner In
which they were furnished, and they
sat down to tea In the little dining
room for the first time together.
John took up his evening popcr as
was his wont and scanned It through,
but raised his head suddenly at what
6ounded like a muffled sob.
"Madeline," he said anxiously, "what
Is the matter, dear?" And he Jumped
yf, and went to her side, whereupon
the distressed one lifted a face rippling
with laughter.
"Oh, John, dear John," she said.
"Tell me, did you enjoy your honey
moon very much, dear?"
John hadn't, but he didn't say so. He
caught the white hands held out to him
-and drew the owner to him.
"Madeline," he said, "did you"—
"Yes; I did," said Madeline, inter
rupting him In her usual way. "I
wanted to give you a lesson, sir. You
wanted to have things all your own
way. I divined It from the first. You
married me because you wanted-a com
panionable housekeeper. Come, con
fess, sir. You didn't marry me be
cause you loved me."
"But now, dearest," he said, still
holding her close.
"Well, I think, thanks to my lesson,
you do a little bit now."
And John confessed he did just a lit
tle bit, and his thoughts traveled back
to that happy young couple under the
umbrella at Brighton.
"We'll have another honeymoon later
on, Madeline," he said; "a real one this
time."—Penny Pictorial Magazine.
▲ Kipling Picture of Buffalo.
After Rudyard Kipling had spent a
day or two In Buffalo In the eighties
he thus described it: "Buffalo Is a
large villnge of a quarter of a million
Inhabitants situated on the seashore,
which Is falsely called Lake Erie. Once
clear of the main business streets you
launch upon miles and miles of as
phalted roads running between cot
tages and cut stone residences of those
who have money and peace. When you
have seen the outside of a few hundred
thousand of these homes and the in
«lde of a few score, you begin to
understand why the American does not
»take a deep Interest In what they call
'politics' and why he is so vaguely and
generally proud of the country that en
ables him to be so comfortable. How
can the owner of a dainty chalet, with
1 smoked oak furniture, imitation Vene
tian tapestry curtains, hot and cold
water laid on, a bed of geraniums and
hollyhocks, a baby crawling down the
veranda and a self acting, twlrly
whlrly hose gently hissing over the
grass in the balmy dusk of an August
evening—how can such a man despair
of the republic?"
Hlnta For Smokers.
Here Is a good tip for a smoker: The
best pipe grows foul Bometlmci, and
the various patent cleaning devices are
of little use in making it fresh. But if
you pack the bowl tight wlui grass or
hay and lay tho pipe aside for a few
days you will have It as sweet as when
It was new. Talking about smoking,
here Is a good idea for lighting match
es: Don't light them on your trousers,
for you'll burn slits In them, nor on
your shoe soles, for you'll rub the heads
off. The plan Is to rub them on a piece
of paper—a folded newspaper, an envel
ope, a ticket The silica In the paper
acts like sandpaper.
Many people can't smoke a dozen
cigarettes without getting a sore throat
Inveterate cigarette smokers are fre
quently troubled with a perpetual cold
In the head. It Is not the smoke that
Is to blame, but the dust Now, If you
use a cigarette tube —amber, cherry or
cardboard—a tiny bit of cotton wool in
the bottom of It will catch every par-
Ucle of dust Try this, and you'll have
no more sore throats. But you may not
enjoy the smoke.—Exchange.
The rooster makes two-thirds of the
noise, but the hen does all the work.—
Chicago News.
The Florida Hnaorback.
The Florida "razorback" Is the hog
Indigenous to this climate and soil. He
Is usually large of limb and fleet of
foot, being the only known porker that
can outrun a darky. He has a tail of
wondrous length, which, while he Is In
active motion, he twists Into the tight
est corkscrew, but with which while
quietly feeding he raps his leathery
sides much In the same manner that
the docile cow uses her tail.
He is self supporting. He earns his
own living and thrives equally well lu
the high woods, in the fiatwoods, in the
hummocks and in the marshes. He
subsists upon anything he can find
above the earth or underneath Its sur
face. He has a clear, farseelng eye
and is very sensitive of hearing. Na
ture has equipped him with a snout al
most as long as the beak of the wild
pelican of Borneo, with which he can
penetrate the earth many Inches In
quest of worms, snakes and Insects.
He Is the most Intelligent of all the
hogs and Is likewise the most coura
geous. He lias been known to engage lu
mortal combat with a coon for the pos
session of a watermelon and to rend
asunder a barbed wire fence.—Forest
and Stream.
It Was Only the Calm Uefore the
Sturm, lloupvrr, and When Ital),
Irclnud nntl Africa <■»! Tuitellicr
They Made t p For I.UHI Time.
[Copyiiglit. 1-01. by C. n. Lewit. ]
"So It vhas you. Mr. Sprocket?" que- ,
rled the Geriunti grocer us he wiped his
hands off after measuring out a peck
»f potatoes and extended it to the Jau- !
ltoc of McMurphy's tlats, who came
limping in.
"Yes. it's me, Mr. Wasserman," wai
the reply, "but there wns nn hour or so
last night when 1 didn't kuow whether
I'd W living today or not."
"Did you go most dead mit dot asth
"No, it wasn't the asthma altogether.
In fact, the asthma was as good as
left out of it. Those people broke loose
again, you see, and the nervous strain
on me almost knocked me out."
"Yhat a wicked peoples, vliat a wick- '
ed world! Uud BO dere vhas some
more rows?"
"I told you the other day about the
three Indies having a scrap." replied
the Janitor as he settled himself down
on the head of a barrel. "Well, they
went about with their noses in the air
for a day or two and then decided to
make It up. That's a woman's way,
you know. They couldn't visit each
other while they were mad, and each
oue of the three was Just dying to see
how the others had furnished up their
rooms and whether the whole family
had to sleep In one bed or not. Mrs.
O'Sullivan had the most curiosity, and
us she had drawn a diamond ring with
a pound of 50 cent tea and wanted to
show It off she decided to give In first.
Yesterday morning she knocked on the
dago's door, and the dago put her nose
out and asked:
" 'What* you wanta of me, eh?'
" 'Countess, I've come to make up
wid ye.' said O'Sullivan. 'Sayln nothln
of the words In the Bible and the
teacliin's of good men that we should
dwell together In harmony, I'm wlllin
to believe that I was mistaken In ye as
a dago. The way ye used yer fingers
in mc hair, to say nothln of the bat on
me mouth, proves that ye are a perfect
lady and entitled to my esteem. Shake
me hand. Countess Dlvlto, and let's
be friends.'
" 'You no wanta flghta any more?'
asked the countess as she came out
into the hall.
" 'Not another wollop,' answered
O'Sullivan. 'lt's rather airly In the
mornlu for a high society call, but if
ye'll overlook it for once I'll come in
and show ye the $l5O diamond ring me
Tim banded me from his lilnd pocket
this mornlu for a birthday prisent.'
"I heard It all," said the janitor, "and
the countess let her In and met her
half way. I thought it would be a
good thing for me and McMurphy and
a bad thing for the darky, but it turn
ed out tiptop all around. When two
women get to making up a quarrel,
they Include all creation, and It wasn't
over half nn hour before the two came
out with their arms around each oth
er and started up to see the barber's
"Py golly, but I like dot!" exclaimed
the grocer. "Vhen I vhas mad at some
mans und he conies around next day, I
vhas all oafer her. If nopody vhas
mad, den you see how happy we all
! vhas."
"That's It, Mr. Wasserman. If you !
only had the asthma, you'd make a j
good flathouse Janitor. Yes, they went
up, and the darky heard them coming
and was ready for them with an old
chair leg. She was spitting on her
hands for a good grip when Mrs. O'Sul
llvan told her that the quarrel was all
made up and the dove of peace had
come there to hatch her brood. She'd
been thumped pretty hard, and she
was rather offish, but she toed the
mark after awhile, and there was kiss
ing and bugging all around. An hour
later O'Sulllvan gave a moralng tea,
which was mostly beer and crackers,
and such quietness fell upon the bouse
that I began to feel lonesome. About
1 o'clock In the afternoon the three got
dressed to go out In company, and of
course each one put on her best duds
to make the other Jealous, You know
what women are, Mr. Wasserman?"
"Vbell, maype! I llf mlt my old wo
mans for oafer dwenty year."
"Of course. They praised each oth
er's hats and dresses as they stood in
the hall, but It was all hypocrisy, you
know. The countess was perhaps the
best dressed, though It was a pretty
even thing all around. They sailed
away like three graces, and I kicked
the goat out of the halls, run the dogs
on to the street and heaved the carts
into the back yard. For two hours I
had a bouse to be proud of, and I had
made up my mind to tell McMurphy to
raise the rent when the ladles returned.
They had treated each other to clam
broth, Ice cream and candy and had
come back In & hack to end up in a
swagger way. When the horses came
prancing up, there was a sensation on
that block, and 50 other women turned
pale as they looked out of their win
"Vhas some rubber tires on der
wheels of dot hack?" asked the grocer
as he seemed to call up a picture In his
mind's eye.
"Aye, there was, Mr. Wasserman,"
replied the Janitor. "Yes, there was
rubber tires on every wheel—none miss
ing— ard the driver was In uniform and
the horses stepping high. For a min
ute or two I felt so proud that I was
determined to ask McMurphy to raise
my salary to S2O a month and fuel
throwed In; but, alas, it was the hack
that was our undoing."
"Did she broke down?"
"Not at all. The ladles didn't have
money enough to settle the fare, you
see, or they wanted to beat each oth
er. They could scrape only 45 cents to
gether, while the fare was a dollar and
a half, and the driver wasn't slow In
giving them his opinion of bilks. It
wasn't two minutes before the whole
neighborhood was on to the racket, and
then there was fun. At first the three
women hung together as against the
driver, but pretty soon Mrs. O'Sulllvan
got her Irish up and turned on the oth-
No 28.
er« with: * "* «
" 'Be me sow I, but I Qjlgbt
' knowed It! What but this Should liap
: pen to a dlsclndant of the O'Sbanea
who jfoes out with a dage and a nay
" 'Who you calla dago?' yelle<l__tUo
" 'And who's a naygurf shouted Mrs.
Torrlugton. • I
"Then a great crowd gathered around,
hoping to see a scrap, and when I tell
, you, Mr. Wassorman, that the reputa*
tlon of MeMurphy's flats for chick anO
gentility suffered a setback that they'll
not get over for years I speak thg
words with aching heart. To satisfy
the driver and avoid a row oil tb«
street Mrs. O'Suliivan handed over thaj
t>a store diamond and sailed into tliCf
house as grand as a queen, and when
tlie others had followed her I looked
the doors on the crowd."
"Und so all vhas peace once more?*
queried the grocer, trith & sigh of TCa
lief. ■
"Not on your life, old man! Tfou
know what a prelude is, don't youT'
"I pellef I do, but I don't carry some
In stock. She vhas too perishable."
"Just so. Well, that little affair on
the sidewalk was a prelude, a prologue,
a curtain raiser. It didn't take the
O'Suliivan over seven minutes to gel
back Into her fighting togs, and she
made a break for up stairs at once.
The dago and the colored woman were
all ready for her and also for each oth
er, and the way they did sail In and
break down doors and knock off plas
ter gave me palpitation of the heart
and thoughts of graveyards. I limped
off and let them have it out, and the
three of them are in bed and will be for
a week to come."
"But maype dey shall make oop good
friends und stay so?" suggested the
"Maybe, but you can't expect It, Mr.
Wasserman. It ain't In what they call
nature, you see.' It's Ireland ag'in
Italy and Africa, and Italy and Africa
ag'in Ireland, and three women ag'in
each other, and if you don't mind I'll
take a cucumber home for my luncM
and get what rest I can for my asthma
before the menagerie breaks loose
again." M. QUAD.
Winding Timepieces.
"I have been doing a little figuring
on time," remarked an erratic cltlfteil
yesterday, "and 1 have reached some
rather interesting conclusions. I want
ed to find out how much time man con
sumed In keeping tab on time, and 1
found that, if the whole world is con
sidered In the computation, years
would be crowded into a second of
"To illustrate what I mean, take a
city where 100,000 watches are wound
up every day. Now, It takes probably
an average of 15 seconds to wind a
watch. It would take, then, 1,500,000
seconds to wind 100,000 watches. This
would mean 25,000 minutes or 630
hours and 10 minutes, or 25 days and
1C hours. I suppose there are in the
city of New Orleans 100,000 watches
and clocks to be wound up every day,
60 that nearly a month ig spent In the
city every day in winding watches and
"One man in a year's time would con
sume 5,475 seconds in winding his
watch If he is prompt abont It and Is
willing to give 15 seconds every day
to this useful article. This would
mean several hours during every year
that he kept up the practice. Allowing
85 years as the average life, a man
would spend 191,525 seconds, or 8,100
minutes and 41 seconds, or 580 hour*
and 10 minutes, or 22 days and 20
hours, in winding his watch." —New,
Orleans Times-Democrat.
Whit She Saw.
It was at the Normal school that this
happened, and the class laughed. It
was a laugh on the teacher, too, but
he didn't get angry, although it did
break into the serious contemplation of
serious studies with which he was try
ing to interest the students.
It was In the study of psychology,
and they were discussing what ideas
first entered the human mind when cer
tain words were spoken or written—
whether the mind thought of one cer
tain object designated by the word ot
the whole general class which Is em
bodied in that word. To experiment
on this mental phenomenon in order ta
bring it more clearly to the attention
of the students the professor said h»
would write a word on the board and
then let one of them tell Instantly what
impression was made upon her mind.
He called upon one of the pupils to
be ready to think quickly and tell ex
actly what her first thought was after
she saw the word which he was about
to wr'.te. He stood close to the board,
so that the word was hidden by hla
shoulders until he turned. He wrote
the word "pig,," and all of the class
saw It except the girl who was stand
ing ready to make reply. When he
turned, he didn't get out of her way#
and she couldn't see the word. In re
ply to his sharp, quick question, "Now,
what do you see?" she replied naively,
"I see you." And the class laughed.—
Milwaukee SentlneL
Advice In Hla Answers.
The Rev. John McNeill was holding
a revival service at Cardiff, Wales, an<s
announced that he would answer ang
question abont the Bible. At once •
note was sent up to him reading ap
"Dear Mr. McNeill—lf you are seeking
! fo help young men, kindly tell me whtf
! was Cain's wife."
That seemed a poser, and the audi
ence waited with intense Interest, tem
pered with amusement, to see how the
good man would extricate himself. Aftr
er a pause he said:
"I love young men, especially young
inquirers for light, and I would give
this young man a word of advice. It Is
this: Don't lose your soul's salvation
looking after other people's wives."
i A Crnel Blander.
Two brothers had the habit of calling
on the same South Side girl. One of
the brothers, George, was to take part
in some private theatricals, and tho
girl had promised to fix up a shirt and
a pair of shoes for his costume. The
articles were to be delivered to her on
a certain evening.
Frank, the second brother, took it In
to his head to call on the girl that same
evening. Frank knew nothing of the ,
arrangements George had made wit#
her to help him with his costume.. He
rang the bell, asked the maid to tfell the
girl that Mr. Allen had called Und sat
down in the parlor. *,
The maid went up stairs and present
ly returned, trying hard not to smile.
"Miss Jones says alne is busy Just
now and that you ane to send up your
shirt and shoes," was tho message she
handed Frank.
"What 7* be y<elled
"I'm to take yp your shirt and shoes."
"Thanks, brit I may need them my
self to go hoi»c with. I hope Miss Jones
will be be'eter in the morning. Never
mind; I Avili close the door myself."—
Chlcagbt Chronicle.
In the fourteenth century the slaugh
ter of wosuen and children after •
town or castle had been taken by storm
was one ot tohe moat Qcenr
teaces of