VOL.,- xxxviii HUSELTON'S Popular-Priced Spring Shoes The greatest assortment of Stylish Footwear ever placed before the pe<"v'e o: Butler ccui.ty. The perfect embodiment of fashion snd serv.ee, at cur own , incomparable prices. Our Eighty-cent and Dollar Shoes For men and women, for hoys and girls form a wonderful featui e of our great showing i»,.1 we claim great things tor them. Thousands of pairs have been put I to the test »"e lave yet to hear of a complaint. You meet with sucti values; only at lIUhKLTON'S. At $i 50, f-\oo and $2 50, Men's and Women's Oxfords. | Men's and Women's Lines. almost surpass our own ideas. These popular fclic cs arc designed and bui»t especaiily for ibis store. Vici Kid, B' x Cnlf, Patcm Leather. Rus-ia Calf, gen uine McKay select and Goodyear Solid, substantial service in every pair. At $3.00 and $3.50. we put out strong clfaims for your favor?. The strongest proba'ily ever marie in shoedom. Patent ami Enamel Leathers, Vici Kid, Lor. and Russia Calf-skin — turn and w< It soles -for mtn or women; extension «'atent- j call and Patent Ideal Kid in liglit, heavy or medium soles, high or low heels. Tlit-y are handsome. All sizes, 2% to S; all widths, AAA to E. JOHN BICKEL, 128 SOUTH MAIN STREET. . - i-UTLER, PA £ X&X»XiX&X IIMIVX | These Are Mew | i Spring, IQOI. | £ SATIN STRIPE ALBATROSS-A light weight fabiic of fine tex- tR Jn ture and very handsome appearance. Solid Colors with white satin jdfc stripe. All wool 27 inches wide 75c a yard FRENCH LANS'EL —New Spring weight, soiid colors, all wool, W |f FANCY SILK ZEPHYR—A silk and cotton fabric. Washes splendidly. Handsome stripes and plaids. Excellent for waists and iw (K dresses— 27 inches wide 35c a J' 1 ' X || MERCERIZED COTTON FOULARDS-Very ha ndsotne and silky. jR fS Printed and finished like finest silk Poulards. 27 lnchss wide.- 35c yd JS MERCERIZED WOVEN SlLK—Make of fine Mercerized Cotton. Jjp Good body and very silky looking. Solid colors and corded stripes, flr ® 27 inches wide 25c yd W WASH FABRlCS—Complete lines of new Seersuckers, Ginghams, U Zephyrs, Lawns, Dimities and Sheer Fabrics. Constant arrivals of fF choice :'ew goods keep the line complete in every detail. JP WHITE GOODS—New Lawns, Dimities. Swisses, Embroideries, * Licet, All-overs and L?ce Curtains at lowest prices. I B NEW—Gold Belts, Buckles, Buttons, Spikes and Braids. New & ■ Chain Purses, Brooches and Hair Ornaments. sL. Stein & Son,| S 'OB N. MAIN STREET. BUTTER, PA KECK Spring Styles ,gv Have a nattiness about them that Jjj f ~~l\ i /j /( y k mark s the wearer, it won't do t:> ..J tjY /J " Kt\ j I j A we ir the last year's output. You _yj MI \ \hJ \"K fh won't get the latest things at the /7 V 1-4 stock clothiers either. The up-to X / I*" i k- C date tailor only lan supply th«*m, ( J\ [/ i\j\ { if you want not only the latest Vy / | / /\* |7T ' things in cut and fit and work- • 1 If J/// j 1 niotisbip, the finest in durability, 11 If /1} where e'se can vou get combiua- "ill I f !l 11 ttons, you get them at ,| • f :' ' t KECK G. F. KECK, Merchant Tailor, 142 North Main Street' All Work Guaranteed. Butler, Pa FREE TOMYSOBY CD to H'.li/ aii'l we vail H • iend KREK your choice of premium MB' *** V " " H3O l illn il .Str«-i(. riiilulila, I'g, 75 ets,8i co 50, £2 co, £2 50, *3 00 and £5 50. BUck and Tan. A range of style and price beyond the reach of or dinary shoe stocks; snappv exten-ioi. edges, rope and cross stitched, low broad . heels, full round toes, plain and per forated tips; Vici Kids, Rassia Calf, Patent an.t Enamel Leathers. Every taste for dress, street or business me: in correct style. Men's Working Shoes. SI.OO, ft $1 50 and $2.00 are r.ot equaled in Butler for ser\i:e. Shown in Veal, Calf, Slaughter Kip. Oil Grain and Kangaroo Kip and Calf with or without Box-toe; two soles and tap with Bellus tongues. Children s fine shoes,patent Qf° | tipped, sizes 5 to 8, at Your choice men's working »,.4 shoes.lace, buckle or ..'on-jk I I 111 gress, heavy soles, at N' ■•V? w Ladies' Kangaroo-calf or Oil 4 Grain shoes, at I IJIJ Misses' tine Patent Calf, lace 4 OET shoes, extended soles, at | 11 Ladies' fine Dongola patent jjT\/"% tip or fords at | THE BUTLER CITIZEN. Butler Savings Bank Butler, L-Vj. Capi .a! - - - *60,0u0.0; Surplus and Profits - - *215,000.4/ JOS L Pi'RVls Prem ien J. HENRY 7 ROUTVI AN Vice-Pr. -i WU. CAMPBELL, Jr r * *;»« LOUIS B.STF.IS ......leller DIKE< TO Its-Joseph L. PnrTls. .1. He®*? TitwtraaD. W. D Branfioo W. A. Bfiu. .1 ». Campbell. The Butler Savings Bank is the Ol lesi Banking Institution. 11 Butler County. Genera! Ijiinkind business transacted. Wesoll.-itii.countsofi.il producers. mer chants, farmers and others. Ailbjsintss Mutriisied to »» *l»> receive prompt attention. Interest t?a ( d on time douoslts. I'M K Bafier County National Bank, Bli tle rPen n, Capital p-ii>i in fi00, 000.00 Surplus and Profits - f85.00D.0f los. Hurtcian, President; J. V. Ritt*. Vice President; John G. McMarlin Ciishie?. A C Krug, Ass't Cashier \ £**uera.l b iiikinif trunsa- u < . paid on tinic dpjjosits. Mouey 1 mv.vd on approved security. We invite you to open an account with tbl? DIRECT ;RS~llon. Joseph Uartmm, Hon. W. S. Waldron, I>r. .v M Hoover. U. Mc- Sweeney, C. I'. * ollins I. C». Smith, Leslie I Hazleit, M. Finegin, \Y. H. Larkin, I. i. Mifflin. I>r. \V. C. Mef.'andless. "en rtan seth. W. J. Marks. J. V. Hltts. A. L. Kelbtr THE Farmers' National Bank, BUTLER, PENN'A. CAPITAL PAID IN, $100,000.00. Foreign exchange bought and sold. Special attention given to collections. OFFICERS: JOHN VOCNKIN." President JOHN HCMI'IiaEV Vice President (' HAILKV Cashier E W HINOHAU Assistant Cashier J. F. HCTZI.EK Teller OIKECTOKS. John Younkins. D. L. {'lceland, E. E. A brums. C. N. lloyd. W. I". Metzcer. llenry Miller. John Humphrey. Thos. Hays, Levi M. Wise and Francis Murphy. Interest paid on lime deposits. We respectfiyiv solicit vour business. "Peerless" Wall * Paper Absolutely Without Equal. *l*l 3f" GREATEST VARIETY £ H b BEST QUALITY I I BL. LOWEST PRICES New Goods Now In For Season 1901. MCMILLANS Next Door to Postoffice. J.LW GOO6\ ' W* LAT " T 1)151 TAKE A PEEP At our new designs and patterns in WALL PAPER- The patterns for this season are beauti ful and artistic. House cleaning time will soon be here, and you wish to be one of the first to have vour ruoms repapered. Theiefore call and look them over, and >;et first choice. We are prepar- d to uang the same at most reasonable prices. Mirror and Picture Framing A Specialty. Patterson Bros., 236 N. Main St. People's Phone. 400. Wick Building O "J Mb' " ft . e> JJfy 't' ' Ui i. mk IP-|£ I BICYCLE SEASON is here and we are in the market again with the well known Cleveland and Crescent wheels we have sold for years and know that they will g've satis faction. Referances hundreds who are using tlieui. They .ire cheajier and belter this season than ever before. Prices {25.00 to $50.00. We carry a complete line of sundries, including tires and everything needed about a wheel; also Cameras Photo supplies, Edison and Columbia Talking Machines and Records. R. L. KIRKPATRICK, Jeweler and Graduate Optician- Next to Court House Now is The* Time to Have Your Clothing CLEANED OR DYED. If you want good and reliable cleaning or dyeing done, there is just one place in town where you can get it, and that is at The Butler Dye Works 216 Center avenue do fine work in out door Photographs. This is the time of year to have a picture ol your house. Give us a trial. Agent for the Jau.entown Sliriine Blind Co.—New York. R. FISHER dc SON BUTLER, PA., THURSDAY, APRIL 4, 1901 I One Ifese | ». . tr-: s.-'rv. When your h- .• 15 \ ,- -, you feel bilious, consti- \ £ ited, and out of tune, with your # ®'-tonu)(l; sour ;.nd no appetite, just# 0 | | 5 ". Hi tak;' a dose, from 1 to 4 i You will be surprised at how easily J # they will do their work, cure your# i liea'dach" and biliousness, rouse the# # liver and make yoa feel happy a # AS> cent s. Soi.: In til medicine dealers, f CATARRH LOCAL' DISEASE and is the result cf cosd'- ana CLO« sudden climatic changes. 'cjfrff 1 For your Protection A we positively Btate tliat t 3WU . As remedy does not cont . a mercury or any other iLjjr- j ious drug. S"tS| Ely's Cream BelniP^^ jp acknowledged to he the most thoroneh cure for Nasal Catarrh, Co d in Head and llay Fever of all remedies. It open* and clcar-acs the nasal allays pain art! inflammaUon, heals the sore*, pro tects the membrane from cok!.% restores the F' • «es of taste and pxc!l. I*rlceCOr.at I>n:ssi-:s or by n:ail. LLY a The Sure fhaf Gum ; / it/ Gough&, & \ Goid&p I S. Grippe, (k \ Whooping Courrh, Asthma, / Bronchitis and Incipicr A Cv Consumotion, is *'C? P s i •| Tv-.e German REMEDY* \ Curti tVw'oat j " - J DEALERS in rta«ly made clolling represent their wares as "Tailor made' "custom made"' &c.. but they ask the reeular prices of ready made and t.ie Itoasi is understood. P.ut when they fter to take your measure, promise to have the clothes made for you and charge the tailors price, they impose upon your credulity. Whether their misrepresentation is wilful or negligent the result to you is the same, Most men want what they pay for and are willing to pay for Ihe superior quality of made to measure clothes. Our garments are cut and made to yt.ur measure in our own workshop in But ler, ' not by fair-to-aiiddling work men, but by expert tailors. Handsome Spring Goods Atßusiness Bringing Prisjs. ALAND, Maker of Men'j Clothes. r^h. A&.:- J, ii TRUE N Li TONIC ri T® Aids digestion, stimulates WJ fSk, j and enriches the blood, Vcj WA fortifies the system kl t • and im- 9 A m * parts the glow of health J W A to sallow faces. L\j TRYJOHNSTON'S ri y'A Beef, Iron arid Wine kl and you will get results WA Price 50c a pint. Prepared and sold only at F# JOHNSTON'S Crystal Pharmacy, TC 7 J 106 N.'Maln St., Butler, l'a. kl Chase Brothers Pianos Are endorsed by people who buy tliem anr. by first-class musicians. PITTSBURG, PA., IAN. 27, 1901. MR. W. R. NEWTON, Butler, Pa. \):ar Sir:—lt gives me great pleasure in recommending the Chase Bros Piano, both in tone, workmensliip anil dureabil ity. The Chase Bro's Piano which you sold the Sterling Club of Butler, Pa , Oct. 31, 1900, and which I have tested in connection with »:iy orchestra- This piano has given t'.ie best of satisfaction and I can recommend the same to all who wish to purchase a good piano. Wishing you üboundant success, I am yours respectfully, C. B. STE'.ZNER, Musical Ihrectcr. I shall publish hundreds of letters from people you know who own Chase Broth ers make ot pianos. They are '.lie best reference in the worl'l. Call at my store and examine the pianos You will find a lull line at all times to select from. TERMS—Any way to suit your con venience. VV. R. NEWTON, 317 South Main St Butler Pa j. V. Stewart, (Successor to H. Bickcl) LIVERY. Sale and Boarding Stable VV. Jefferson St., Butler, l'a. Firat class equipment—eighteen good drives —rigs of all kinds— cool, roomy and clean stables. People's Phone 125. }. V. STEWART. L. S. McJUNKIN, Insurance and Real Esiate Agent. 117 E. JEFFKRSON. I BUTLER, - PA WHILE HE WAITED. Tho clock upon th? mantel stands; It tkLj, and to I know it's (roinj. But as to speed its gili*W h«:ds Don't mat-' a \cry rapid showing. My lady's miid an a»;e ajro Sai l she would ho down in a second; rd give a tiifle just to know Exactly hc»* her time is reckoned! The thin? is pretty of its kind; Two chub •. loves support its dial. One love, a strong oiu;, though, I find. Supports n»e in this present trial. Perhaps by l.or lair band *tl» v-vund; I wonder this the while 1 linger. My lady can—that, too, I've found- Wind me—around her little finger. Bhe knows it, too; I'll bet a dime Htr purpose is to k ;• ?ue.--inj. It set !..s I'm only marking lime. Whereas I thought 1 was progressing. Time! Tl at is why this clock is ret — To mind us of the more en ts fleeting. But lim. completely I ferret From the sweet moment of cur meeting. Tick. tick. 11:* tiny pendulum; Click, c llv k, her ' : ! X oak and leather; Thump. tiiuL* . ,i -rt! I kn v. -he'd come- All ti. , !•••-- • Cm i- • ;:.er. —CI i a ;o Record. ft-c • s•> - ©: ♦ y 1 "'• . i Z BY W. K. liOSE <► <> i>~<> -❖❖ ; ■ • «-• ■ 0 • - £'❖ • •i* - ■■. The air was mild and clear. The children fiolic!:ed merrily auHiug Ihe trees iu the park. The white capped nurse.-; sat oa the i r.st.;- seats here and there and watcheu their charges or played with the smaller children who nestled in wicker carriages with gay colored canopies. On one of the benches not far from the entrance sat au elderly man. He was straight aud square shouldered, with a white mustache and grizzled hair and a strong suggestion of early military training. He sat there be cause he liki-d to see the children at play. They were better company than his thoughts. Anyway, he had little else to do. Ou this particular day he had watch ed the playful elves as they darted iu and out among the trees until he had grown tired. The warm sun made him sleepy. His gray head slowly dropped back, his shoulders found a restful corner of the high backed seat, aud presently he was soundly sleeping. A slight concussion awakened him. He opened his eyes with a little start. The sun was peeping through the foliage, and the rays dazzled him. He tried to raise a hand to draw his soft hat over his eyes and could not. Both hands were pinioned fast. He looked down. A rope was encircling his body aud holding his arms fast to his sides. He made au effort to release himself, but without success. He fancied he could sympathize with the feelings of Gulliver when he fouud the pygmies had caught and bound him. He was sure it was oae of the playful fairies whom he had watched so many times among the trees. He was right. A child's laughter broke on his ears. Ilis captor was close behind him. "Aha," lie said In what was intended for a very gruff voice, "are you there? Unhand me at once or twnblo for tho consequences!" The cord—it was a child's skipping rope—was rapidly drawn from about his waist, a»d a moment later its own er danced in front of him. She was a little girl of possibly 7, though at times her varying expres sions made her seem much older. Her hair floated about her head in careless waves and tendrils, her eyes were gray and deep, her mouth was small and beautifully shaped, and there was a saucy upward tilt to her short nose. "Pooh, pooh," she said, with a mock ing courtesy, "I ain't a bit afraid of you!" "And why not?" the old man asked. She was a charming fairy, a natural little coquette, and her every move was full of a subtle grace. "And why are you not afraid of such a gray old mustache as I am?" he asked again as she pirouetted before him. "Because you are my grandfather," she carelessly answered. The old man's face darkened. "What do you mean by that non sense V" lie harshly asked. " 'Taln't nonsense," said the little maiden, "unless grandfathers Is non sense. Anyway, you're my grandfa ther." And she started to leave him. "Wait," he cried. "Come here. "What did you mean by saying I am your grandfather? Ho you call every old man you see grandfather?" "No," said the child. "Only you." He studied her face sharply. "Come a little closer," he said in coaxing tones. She inarched boldly up to him Her little hand flew up and touched the front, of her cap. "That's the way to salute a soldier," she said, with a merry laugh. "Mamma said you was one." He caught his breath. "Perhaps," lie slowly said, "you can even tell me my name?" "Ye 3, 1 can," replied the child. "It's tasy. Your name is Philip. An now £uess what mine is." "Is—is it Mary?" he gently asked. "No," laughed the child. "That's mamma's. Mine is most like yours. It's Philippa." The old man was silent for a mo ment. "Is jour mother here, child?" he sud denly asked. "Is she lurking about anion? the trees?" "Who? Do you mean mamma?" cried the child. "She isn't here. She hasn't no time for trees. She's always too busy. Didn't you know she paints? Yes; slie paints lovely little pictures. Miniehoors she calls them. They're pictures of people, don't you know, only much prettier. But sometimes people don't pay very quick, un some times they think mamma charges too much, an sometimes she doesn't huve any pictures to do. Then, you know. It's pretty hard to have the landlord call. 1 guess you know how that is." "And where is your father?" and the dM man's voice suddenly grew hard. "He's deaded in < 'allyforny," said the •hild. "He was an actor, you know; a stage actor. I don't 'member him very well. I was 100 little when he went away. I've tried to act, too, but Delia, that's the janitor's wife, she says I can't act for shucks." "Good tiling," muttered the old man. "Well, I don't know," said the child. "You see, I wanted to do sometliin to help mamma, an if I can't act I don't know what I can do. But I s'pose It's no use. Delia said that as a child won der I was the wust she ever seen, an Delia goes out a good deal." A faint smile crossed the old man's stern features. "And what made you think that I am your grandfather?" he asked. "Oh, Marie Kramer told me!" replied the child. "She knows everybody. She's lived out more places. She's Bessie Leigh ton's nurse now, an Just as soon as she saw you sittin here one :lay she said, 'There's old Colonel Itob son.' Shi' knew you 'cause you used to go to the Bronsous, where she was Uvln then. Au pretty soon she looked at me an said. 'Why, he's your grand father, ain't he?' An I said I didn't know, an she thought it out an said, "Yes, he is, 'cause your mainina Is his daughter, an she ran away with a play netor, an the old bunks shut his door on her forever.' That's what Marie said. An when I went home I said to Delia, 'My grandfather's sittin over there in the park, an he's the lonesorn est lookin thing.' An Delia says: 'lf he's settin in the park, he's either a tramp or a mlllunaire. If lie's a tramp, you must keep away from him, but if he's a mlllunaire you want to rope him in.' An when I looked at you again 1 saw you didn't look like a tramp, au so I thought I'd take my chances an rope you in ; au that's just what I did." "And your mother knows nothing about my being here?" the old man asked. "Yes, she does," replied the child. "I told her. nu she looked so queer, an her face got red. au she said: 'Pbilippa, dear, it jnar not be your grandfather. P.ut anyway you mustn't speak to him unless he speaks to you tirst.' An I made you speak to me tirst. didn't I?" The old man leaned back and looked at the chil 1. "Philippa." he said slowly, "how would yon like to come and live with uie? Yo«i «• uld have your owu beau tiful room, and a!i the playthings you could want, and somebody to wait on you. and a pony to drive, and every thing that could make a little girl happy." "An wcj'.kl luauitna come, too?" the child ask; d. The eld !. :::i shook his head. "I'd like the room." said the child, "an the i :>y an all the rest, but I g; i - I'd be too lonesome without mamma." "But you'd have me." urged the old tuan. "We'd I e jr. t •me ones to gether." • i.eu she add ed. "If you •' > "a. you'd see how it is." "Perhaps I :. .i l.;'giauing to see," said th old M.;:t sof'lv. "HI tell yot: what we'll do." cried the child. "You can borrow uie. How's that?" "It sounds well," said the old man. "How must I set abcut it?" "Oh, it's . Shauicl of Illinois university. ItolllnMT Wheat- Wheat that has been heaved out to some extent by frost is greatly benefit ed by rolling. It presses the roots— both wheat and grass—back into the soil and gives them a chance to take hold again. A good stand of wheat does not need rolling-, says nu exclunge. THE SMALL FRUITS. Slri»Tvl>errl«-« of Today—Decline In CurrnnlH —lllnrkrn|» I'opnlnr. A few of the profitable strawberries of ten years ago are still cultivated, yet a vast majority of the varieties that one would advise planting today were entirely unknown ten years ugo. Excelsior, Sample, Clen Mary of the great market varieties, and Nich Olimer, Maximus and Mammoth, as fancy amateur varieties, are all prod ucts of the past ten years and superior In many ways to our older varieties. Eight or ten years ago currants came to be planted quite extensively in many sections of our state, and while there has been no hint of overproduc tion a considerable abandonment of jelly making by families lias brought about less demand for currants, and they have been steadily lowering in price In our markets for some years. Fay and Victoria are the standard va rieties. Wilder, a variety of more re cent Introduction, is a stronger and more upright grower than the Fay, full as large a berry and a more per fect buii' li, somewhat lighter in color and later in ripening, which tends to make it more valuable, both for home use and market. Bed raspberries have suffered the same depression ns currants and are selling at 30 i« -r cent lower prices and are It in demand than they were ten years while the demand for black cap raspberries seems to l>e somewhat on the iiK'reyrotted ham and tongue, minced ham, chicken, turkey, park ami beans, ox marrow, etc. In addition to all this, there are soups of many names, all of which are found on the shelves of groceries everywhere throughout the land. It is reasonable to suppose that men will "learn war" for many years to come; also we may depend on the no mad in man to cause him to travel whenever his means will justify. He will crisscross the continents yet un explored until he will know them thor oughly. lie will probably In due course of time tiud the north pole. Already he is feeling around the antarctic re gions anil thinks he will set his foot on that pole also. The gratification of this restlessness in the race Is made i possible and with comfort by these canned meats. "Gather up the fragments, that noth ing be lost." From the standpoint herein set forth there is no greater economist among men than the pack ing house, concludes lowa Homestea Low Grade Red Clover Seed. Low grade red clover seed usually contains a large amount of brown, dead seeds. In order to use the right amount of seed for a good catch of clo ver it is necessary to know how much of Hie seed will grow. When 15 pounds are sown on an acre and only one-half the seed sprout", it Is equivalent to using only 7% pounds of seed which Is good, and a poor stand Is Inevitable. Not only should the percentage of ger mination be known, but the seed should germinate vigorously. Weak seed will produce weak plants. These seeds are generally light and are blown out in well cleaned samples, but may be present In large amounts In low grades. Agricultural Brevities. Plants cultivated for their foliage, like cabbage, should be pushed by fre quent stirring of the soil. A heavy, cold clay soil, particularly if badly drained, should be avoided in planting asparagus. The rotation that Is wanted is the one that will rotate most fertility Into the farm and most cash Into the pocket. Cucumbers put under glass about the Ist of April will begin to bear the Ist of June. Hotbeds in spring require constant vigilance. Everything depends on the right care and at the right time. They must be covered aud uncovered every ■lay, aud the proper temperature kept always. Asparagus roots are best set In the spring, say about the end of April. Dandelion is one of the most healthful of all spring greens and should be sown in drills as early in U»e spring as possible. Writ Large. "I tell you there's something In It. That fortune teller looked at the palm of my hand and said I'd had a hard life." "Great Scott, she could read that In the callouses!" —Chicago Tribune. A Causa For Th»nkf»lnm. "How does your new servant get on with you?" asked the caller. "She seems to be contented." "Does she work well ?" "No, but she doesn't find fault with the way I do it." —Plck-Me-Up. A WALL STREET DEAL. It WI&N Qnlok nn«l K*pen»lve For the Old Farmer, "Waal, it's jest as the papers and my old woman said," remarked the old farmer from western New York who was on his way back home from the metropolis. "And what did they say?" asked the man who shared his seat. "About Wall street and how the lambs are shorn down there." "Oh, I see! Then you took In Wall street, eh?" "I did," was the solemn reply. "What was your llier?" "Didn't have no flier." "But what did you speculate In to lose your money?" "Nothin 'tall. I didn't have time to speculate. I'd just bsught two apples for 5 cents off a stand and was won derin whether I'd take a flier in wheat t or copper when a man come along and takes my sl7 out of my hind pocket and said: " 'You are too late, old man. Wheat has gone up six p'ints and shrunk you out of $8 margin, and copper's gone to Texas and shrunk you out cf the other SO. Better uiove on now and come down and strike beeswax when It's on the boom.' "That's what he said, sir, and I pick ed up my feet and dug out. I had fO in another pocket, and I didn't pro pose to hang around until turnips Jumped eight or ten p'ints and left me dead broke In a big town." M. QUAD. A I)imt» at Settlement. "Did Mornau give you the lie?" "Yes, aud his second has Just been trying to adjust matters peaceably." "Showing the white feather, eh? What did he propose?" "That Morgan should withdraw the epithet if I would admit the fact"— 1 eslie's Weekly. / No. 14 Wanted to Broadea dim. Charles B. Han ford while playing In a Texas town was approached by a young man in typical cowboy fashion, who said: "Are you the manager of this play that comes tonight?" Mr. llanford said he was. "Do you want to hire a maff to help net?" "No. My company Is complete." "Want to hire a man to help count money?" "No." ■» "Want to hire a man to get out In tho back of the theater and holler and ap plaud ?" "Not this tour. The audiences are at tending to that very satisfactorily." "Want anybody for anything on earth?" "Not that I think of at present." "Well, that's just our luck. We've got a man here who recites pieces In consideration of being treated. If he doesn't get treated, he'll hang around and make the barroom unpleasant for hours. We don't want to hurt him, for he's a good sort In the main. But he ouly knows three pieces—Mark Anto ny's oration, Hamlet's soliloquy and Iticnzi's address to the Romans. We thought that If you could flatter his mind Into the belief that he's a great genius and haul him around the coun try two or three trips, so that he can learn a few new pieces from you, we'd be willing to make up a purse that would come mighty near making it worth while."—New York Telegram. Emenoi'i Last Lecture. In his "Eccentricities of Genius" Major Pond tells the pathetic story of Ralph Waldo Emerson's last lecture, delivered In the Old South church in Boston for tho fund to save that build ing from demolition: "As he began reading his lecture the audience was very attentive. After a few moments he lost his place, and his granddaughter, sitting in the front row of scats, gently stepped toward him and reminded him that he was lectur ing. He saw at once that he was wan dering, and. with the most charming, characterisi.c, apologetic bow, he re sumed his place, an Incident that seem ed to affect the audience more than anything else that could possibly have occurred. A few moments later he took a piece of manuscript In his hand and, turning around with it, laid it on a side table. Just then one of the audi ence said to me (I think It was Mrs. Llvermore or Mr. Howe), 'Please have the audience pass right out,' and, rush ing up to Mr. Emerson, said, 'Thank you so much for that delightful lec ture;* then, turning around, waved the audience to go out "ne probably had been speaking about 15 minutes. The audience pass ed out, many of them in tears. It was one of the most pathetic sights I ever witnessed." Jlrw England Vonngitera. One of Detroit's lawyers, who has had such professional success as en ables him to spend a portion of each summer in a quaint New England KPC titm. farms* race some very Interesting facts. "I take my outing in one of those parts," he says, "where the farms are so run down that you can't hope for a good crop of anything unleiw It be beans or goats. One of the conse quences is that the young men have to find some other part of the country in which to make a living, and I'll wager that there is not another community In the Union where the average age is higher. "Knowing me to be a lawyer, some of the residents called me Into a con ference about the township treasurer who had been guilty of advancing a teacher $2 on her salary without the consent of the trustees. There was not a man there except myself who was not past 82, and two were over 90. "While I was making a talk in favor of the treasurer and tcjrlng to minimize his transgressions without offending the selectmen, as they called them, a man of at least 65 slouched through the door and took a seat. " 'Just a minute,' said one of the old est veterans as he Interrupted and glowered at the Intruder. 'How often have I quoted that there quotation to you 'bout old men for council and young men for war? This is a council. Now you just run out till we get through, Willie. If there's any a'rest to be made, we'll call on you.' And Willie went without turning a word." —Detroit Free Press. Finding: Dnya of the Week. The prematurely aged young man whose duty it is to get up The Rec ord's "Answers to Correspondents" column says that queries of the same nature always come In bunches. They seem to be epidemic. Just at present a great many people seem eager to know what day of the week they were born on, and It keeps him busy flgur : ing the dates out. He has a system which he uses, and for the benefit of others who may be in search of like in formation it is herewith given: For instance, take Jan. 15, 1868. A man born on that date writes to know what day of the week it fell on. In order to ascertain this divide the fig ures representing the year by 4, reject ing the remainder, If any. To this div idend and quotient add the number of days in the year to the given date, in clusive, always reckoning 28 days in February. Divide the sum by 7, and the remainder will be the number of the day of the week, 0 signifying Sat urday. Here is the illustration, taking Jan. 15, 18C8: 4)1868 467 Number of dayf to Jan. 7)2350 835-6 Thus, by this calculation, which is in fallible, it will be seen that Jan. 15, 1868, fell on the fifth day of the week, which is Thursday.— Philadelphia Rec ord. The Star. "Now," we asked him, "who should tH? considered the star of your com pany?" "The bloodhound, me boy, the blood hound," said the gentleman that played Legree. "lie has something to eat ev ery day, whether the rest do or not"— Indianapolis Press. Some One Who Would Like It. ••I don't like Muggins' face," said Twynn to Triplett "He hasn't a pleas ing countenance." "But an auctioneer would like It," suggested Triplett "How so?" "It Is a countenance forbidding. Detroit Free Press. She Knew. A clergyman while catechising his Sunday school had occasion to the children tho meaning of tho word "epistle." A little girl In the youngest class was so certain that she knew that she did not hesitate a minute, but. with the greatest of nfi^ CC ' f rwered, "An epistle Is the wife of an ipostle."—New York Sun.