VOL- xxxv FOOTWEAR Z ;^ ILY I ■ 21— - Ai L, - "TjVWWW /JV /A /A /A /i\ /A /i\vr» It is important in every household in Butler county to see that each member of the family has good. warm, substantial footwear. The Boys and Girlsthat go to School over the rough roads, through the mud and slush, must be looked after. Cbeap. Shoddy Shoes won't fill the bill at this season of the year. You ask where shall Igo to get a good shoe; don't know, lam not in the shoe business, I must rely on the dealer. Now you have hit the nail on the head. Ask your neighbors ask anybody; nine out of ten will tell you to go to USELTON }p What he recommends you are safe in buying. Ke won't cl you that 65c, 88c and 98c shoes will keep out water going to school. Boys'and Youths' Shoes. shoe.- , in b; a ~ , p-.u:., 3 to $1 Heavy tap-sole shoes. 75c tosl. § ee our Jennsr.s Miller Shoes, o Heavy oil grain. tap sole.*l. 23 to $1.50. Dress Reform. vVe are so I Heavy oil grain, tap sole. No-Rip agents for Butler county. $1 50 to 165 hnest most pern- •: Titi shoe !:»«•!.• High cnt Bensral calf $l5O to $1.75. j at Tr > !l 1' ir Satin calf, very fine, $1.25 to $1.50. I Box calf, heavy soles, $1.50 to Of GlflS SohOOi bIIOBS. Little Rents' veal and box calf. 75c, $1 and 1 .25. Our unlin< See our Jamestown High-cut and lace, s ili.l ii . 7".-: - » copper tip shoes, two soles and tap, best Kangaroo. crack-proof, md box »l! in Bntler $1.75 and $1 50c. 75c. *1 and : i "> 1 Kid :;hoes at 15c to >■" 1 .Vi Fflr Wnmpn Reliability "land- out • r »iu ev«-.-.- rUI WUlllCll stitch made in young ladies', irirl- unl .. .. - , , children's spring-heel, lace or button. . An nniisual combination of style, ele gance, comlort and economy. They are _ , the best women's shoe "find" of the rOT ::1 Gil year. They are selling faster than any shoes we have ever offered. By all odds the greatest shoes for men Kid shoes. McKay sewed;Bsc to $1.25. we ever -old Ten >tyle-; Soineth: is Kid. heavy sole shoes, others ask $2.25 for ev, ry taste in winti, lan box cali and $2.50: onr price s'-. enamels and wax calf, at £?.50. s! Kid or box calf, kangaroo and oil and ■*:) '»>. grain, $1 to $1.25. Veal and kip, box toe shoes at si "n One lot ladies'fine hand turns, $1.50; and $2. former price $8.75. . Patent leather shoe- *2 to $5. Warm lined shoes, 50c to $1.25. Heavy two s ile and tap Creedm r< s We are known all over Bntler county at It to s, -o for onr serviceable nnlined kip and vea! | Our Stock Rubber Boots and Wool Bouts the best. All fresh, made to our order. We don't rjeconivx nd all cheap sho .-. we have them if yon want them, and better goods than any hoi;- in Butler an produce. These are all fresh goods direct from th • mannfactu er. and no old job lots that are set iside to be sold for what they will bring in this stock, t.'onn in and see how we do business. B. C. HUSELTON S. Butler's Leading Shoe House. 7 i >pposite Hotel Lowry. * HE IS A WISE HAN \ 5 W i # -WHO SECURES HIS CLOTHIXO I'HOM- (f ? \ S J. S. YOUNG, I THE MERCHANT TAII.OIt, £ j jt The goods, style, tit and general make | up of his suits J TELL their own STOR|Y.! %<%'%%.% tii „ FOR EFFECT. tej | i" ®■» S f \ $ Men won't buy clothin for tl-e purpose I I \yS V \ Jjof spending money T'.i >'b sire to get Un Vi Sk *CV 1 V '/best possible for tin rnon. v expend- ' \ J I j_. jje'l- Not cheap poor's but cods cheap as ; v yr -( ** J-' ftthey can be sold an.l ma ' .;;> ]-.r. njeily If T1 ) i \ /-" /you want the correct tinny; at the correct 1) "1 IT [ V-*y . ?9price call on us, we nave ieduced our spring r 111 Y. =r &and summer goods down to make room for \ \ / \ J i) Ur heaV_V we 'K ,u g°°ds, II ' /f fll r Guaranteed. C M I— Merchant Tailor. 142 N. Main St.. Butler Pape gros, JEWEbeRS. We Will Save You Money On Watches Clocks,"! ; Silverware, 1847 Rodger Bros. I S Plateware and Sterling Silver j \ Goods. ) Our Repair Department takes it-, all kinds of YY itches Clocks and Jewelry, etc 122 S. Main St. Old gold and silver taken the same as cash. *'.ld direct to the con ma J\ nmcr for 25 years at whol*- . P 1\ p sale prices, savinir him the V-/. *"g».' 1 profits. Shi|- any- JBPNT, \ E*erjthia(f "iirtntd. / \YSL}\ 4-V ;> ,i;*: \ 1 M l\ f ■»*;— ' 'I * ,)1 1 \ J I - " 7 vi r*v •' 1 ' ' larre. frrr- - - Cati. .a of .11 our *t; k ' ..." (LK. iVnfiIACH A2%D Ui/iAiJsU iU't, CO. W. ii. i'LATi, w-cc';-, i'f LM*. State Librtiy J THE BUTLER CITIZEN. Liver ills , ~ . dyspepsia, headache, cotrtt • .. „ n . r r.i ,aeh. Indigestion are promptl) rare. Uood'# fills. They do Aelr Hood's E3 ■ 11 liter dhmer pills- II K> c«>nts. All druggists. ■ ■■ ■ Prepared liv C. I. Hood & Co. Lowell. Mass. e U f,ll to take with Hood's S^-.Tarilla. This Is Your Opportunity. On receipt of ten cents, cash or Ktamps, a generous sample will be mailed of the most popular Catarrh and Hay Fever l ure (Ely's Cream B.iliu) sufficient to demon strate the git o merits of the remedy. EI.I BROTHERS, 50 Warren St , New York City. liev John Reid, Jr.. of Great Falls, Mont., recommended Ely's Cream Halm to me. I can emphasize his statement, "It isa posi tivc cvre for catarrh if used as directed. Rev. Francis W. Paule. Pastor Central Pres. Church, He!ena ; Mont. Ely's Cream Halm is the acknowledged euro for c: irrh and conlains no mercury - : r.uj injurious drufi. Price, 50 cents. "iove Up" i 'r *f* 'l' r 4*. i i | Is a law universal, i Evolution ir, 1 another name i for it. The street car conductor says "move up." Com petition sa3's "move up." Tc move anything requires "push." A good pusher requires strength Oar str:lsth is in low ; prices, reliable goods, and attractive service. We have quite a lot of broken Ipts of sum mer wear going ct 1-2 price. Test our mu tual bene fit p'an on its merits. Fdo Colbert, Succssor to Colbert & Dale. TH K Bailer County National Bank, Hvi tier Penn, ; Capital p'if! in - - f 1 x>, 000.00 .Surplus and Profits - $114,647.87 I to-;. Hartman, President; J. V. Ritts, • President; C. A. Bailey. Cashier; ' John li. McMarlin, Ass't Cashier. ; general banking busine tran-saned. I liitcr'st paid on time deposits. • . lii;in.'d on approved si;curity. \\'i LllVit«- yiu Uropen an account with this J bank. 1 l)I!;Df'T")US Hon. Joseph Hartman, Hon. 1 W S WaidrOD, Dr. M Hoover. 11. Mc mi . "ui v. K. K. Vbrams. C. I'. <.'ollins I. li. -niih. I s'.io 1' llaziett, M. Finngan, W. ! *V. II I.:>!kin. .tolin Humphrey, Dr. W. C. M"-' -Mill* ->s. I>S I Pi KVI-- President i I HKMvY 1 COI'TMAN Vice-President WM 1 iMPi'.ELL, Jr Caihier LOO 18 n BTKIH Teller niRI Tio'-i' W. I), itrandoti. W. A Stein. J. S. mut.l 11 | The itutler S;ivitiss lt:uik is the Oldest Hanking 1 nstilutior/. n ISntHrr County, j Gi-m*ra! banking business transai ted. j We solli lt ai-enunts of «il pn,durers, mer ; chants, farmers and others. ; All b.isint s~ ■ utrusved to us wil 1 receive Ipronipi att-enliou. Inti-re-,' eaiil on time d^Dosits. ' OIL MEAL <° llßOLl,^i >t v^/ ) cheap | iVcil for Horses. Cows. Shee*,). flops, Fowls | et«*. ll« and productive powor ' to animals. \r<* you feeding it? Cheapest ■ feed in the uiarket. LINSEED OIL y I'Dii -i', huru or fence. Mixed paints ar** doubt fnl quality: some «r?» J mani'ifaet urer. THOMPSON &0., 15 W J Diamond street Aliecheuv. Pa. Pearson 13. Nace's Livery Feed and Sale Stable Rear of Wick House, Butler, Penn'a. The best of horses and tirst class rigs al ways on hand and for hire. Best accommodations in town for perma nent boarding and transient trade. Speci al care guaranteed. Stable Room For 65 Horses. A jrood class of horses, both drivers and draft hor.. s always ou hand and for sale umlurafull guarantee; and horses bought upon proper uOtiti«-ation by PEARSON B. NACE, Telephone. No. Jfli». L. C. WICK, DEALER IN Rough Worked Lumber OF Aix KINDS. Doors, Sash, Blinds, Mouldings, i . Shingles and Lath Always in Stock. LI,Hi:. H VIR AND PLASTER Oflice opnosite P. &j\V. Depot. BUTLER, PA. M. A. BERKIMER, nerai Director. i 317 3. Main St., Butler. "THE WEAKER SEX." "The weaker sex." they call them, but a mortal couldn't mnke. In speaking of the womenfolk, a more profound mistake. Those precious parcels made of smiles, of ribbons, tears and lace, fieve clearly proved themselves to be the Samsons of their race. Do you suppose that any man could keep me half 'he night In some beshadowed hammock where.the fierce mosquitoes bite. And who. it mattered not how long he might prefer to stay. Would press my hand so tightly I could never get away? And Where's the giant who could make me walk, and walk, and walk. About the park and babble forth the softest kind of talk. And buy ice-cream, and lemonade, and pop-corn bars and such. And then declare I had enjoyed the evening very much? I knew a "clinging ivy" who. by just her winsome smiles. Has made me. lazy as I am. walk full a thousand miles. I've stood outdoors on winter nights and lingered for her when I'd not have waited half so long for fif teen dozen men. The women are the ones who rule this planet, first and last. They bind us In their mystic chains and hold us good and fast; But, though we men are shackled slaves, we mutually agree To never do a single thing to make them set us free. —Nixon Waterman, in L. A. W. Bulletin. | A Ten-Minutes' Talk \ | By MADELINE S. BRIDGES. | GRACE —Dear, lam so rejoiced to see you; I thought you could not get away from Boston until— Edr.a —I couldn't, but all the same I took the nine o'clock train this morn ing. And how in the world did this happen? Grace—Sit here and let me tell you; it is quite a little story. Edna (seating herself) —That means quite a long story, and I must only stay ten minutes. lam due at the Polytech nic at three precisely. I would not have stopped in now only Herman told me about your accident. Grace—Yes, it is dreadful! Oh, not the accident; my shoulder is bruised a little, that is all; butllonged toseeyou —to talk to you—l thought you could advise me —you have handled so many affairs — Edna—What sort of affairs? But perhaps you think there is only one sort worth having. Grace —I don't deserve that, Edna. Edna—But you ought to deserve it, because there is only one sort. I cau stay just ten minutes (opening her watch and laying it on her knee). Xow! Let me see how much idea you have of utilizing time. Grace (with a long sigh)— You know that Paul Girard is going abroad ft>r six months on business for the firm? He was to sail this coming Saturday. Last Monday he asked me to take a ride with him. Edna—That can't be part of the story? Grace —It is, because he asked me to eo alone-. I mean, he did not ask Lizzie. " Edna—Ah! Gr*;e—Still I was not surprised when I received the invitation. The surprise came afterward. You remem ber what a glorious day Monday was? Well, he took out the new sorrel, and the roads were splendid, and I—never saw—him look so handsome. Edna—The sorrel or —but nobody ever saw Paul look handsome. Grace—l did, that day! Please don't be unsympathetic. Edna—Does this matter actually call for sympathy? Grace —It does. Oh, Edna! Yes, in deed! We rode a long, long way, and talked of more things than are in no ratio's or anybody else's philosophy, and then —he spoke of his journey—of going away to leave us all, anh. and looking reflectively "at the ruin he had made" until two friendly men ap peared on the scene. While we pon dered what was best to do a coupe drove up, and the lady inside kindly offered me a seat. Paul helped me in; I came back to the city—and I have, not seen him since! Edna—You have not seen him since? This grows thrilling. He may be hurt. Grace—No; for that same evening he sent a note of polite inquiry, and I responded with due politeness. Edna, what do you think? Edna—Oh, I may entertain any wild theory I please. You do not help me to any rational conclusion. Grace (sadly) —I have not come to one myself. Edna —What? You haven't con cluded yet whether you care for Paul? Grace—Oh, I concluded that long ago—long-, long before he spoke. But —but see how lam placed! If he should never refer to this again? If he should sail without— Edna, would it —could it, by any possibility, be proper for me to write and say—say— that I—oh.1 —oh. never! Edna—You would need to be more explicit. dear. Grace (despairingly) —What shall I ilo? BUTLER, PA., THURSDAY, OCTOBER 20, ItSOH Edna (reflectively) —It is only com mon courtesy to answer a question. If he had asked you for your copy of Browning, let 'is say, or for special in formation, as —well--the subject of plaque-painting, would you not feel it incumbent on you to make him some sort of reply? The case certainly rests with you. Grace —Then it must rest with me forever! Suppose this—suppose had repented "lie moment the speech was uttered and wished it unsaid? Edna —Suppose your manner had seemed to convey —it very likely did — that you wished it unsaid? Now, then, I know one thing, Grace. If the man I loved asked me to be his wife, the wildest horse that ever pranced would not have a chance to run away before I could say yes. Grace (pensively) —And doubtless that is the reason you are married. Edna —Don't be sarcastic, dear. Grace —Oh, was I? Well, perhaps if I had known that the horse intended to run away— Edna—lie may not have intended lt. Noble beast! I believe your hesitancy disgusted him. lie simply could not brook the idea of his master meeting with such scant appreciation, and showed his disapproval. Grace —All this is sad and serious to me. Do not jest about it. Advise me. Edna: would you. in my place, write and say: "I accept your proposal: I love you and will gladly be your wife ?" That would be answering his question. Edna (promptly)—l'd die first. Grace (forlornly)—So would I. but I think I shall die if I don't! (Appeal lngly.) Just imaginerif your Herman IN A TANGLE OF WAYSIDE WEEDS. were going away from you—out of your life—and you dare not —oh! Edna —My dear! But you canuot feel for your lover as you feel for your husband. Grace —I hope you don't mean that I would feel more? Edna (with energy) —More? Yes, more —a thousandfold! Grace (tearfully)— Then I think it is very good to be single! Edna —Well, luckily you can adhere to your conviction—if you really think 80. (Enter maid with letter.) Grace (clutching the missive eager ly) —Thank you, Jsora. Tell the boy to wait. I'll ring in a few moments. (Exit maid.) (To Edna.) He has written. Edna —Oh, has he! Then I'll go, dear, now! Grace—No, please! You must listen! Surely you wish to know what he says! (Reads aloud.) "Dear Grace: Tell me, amll tell me frankly, at once, were you glad or sorry that accident oc curred the other day? I have been torturing myself with the thought that it may have come as a relief to you. But if you can tell me you were sorry, I shall limp to yon to-night, though my sprain still impedes prog ress. Your little chilling note was very discouraging, dear, but I am not discouraged. I cannot afford to be, becausa I am yours—only and always, yours. Paul." Edna —I suppose you will write to him? Grace (radiantly)—At once. Edna—And you will tell #iiin you think it very-good to be single? Grace —Edna! Edna —Well, my ten minutes is just up. Give my love to Paul! Grace —Put, dear, one second. You are glad with my gladness—why did you show so little sympathy in my— Edna —Because I understand men and lovers. Grace —And you were sure Paul would come or— Edna Oh. good-by! Woman's TTorne Companion. Knsrlj-nd'* Rr«< Holm veil (canty. Police court statistics show that Cornwall is the best behaved county In Enclsnd. Consistent. She said she'd go with him content. Through troubles dire and pain, Yet all her smiling sweetness went Because they missed the train! —Harper's Bazar. A Tlrt K I'HOPHET. CV ' Johnnie Dere now! I told yer ther fellers would be wantin' ter play checkers on dat patch yer put on tne trousers!—X. Y. Evening Journal. lluinun and Otliemlic. To err is human, so they say. And that's no joke. I know; But to err and then acknowledge It- Well, angels might do so. —Chicago Daily News. Meant What lie Said. Mr. Hayseed—What did you mean by telling me not to blow out the gas? Hotel Porter —I meant what I said, sir. This is no undertaking establish ment.—lS'. Y. Evening Journal. One of Many. Miss Tallcins —Poor Mr. Henpeck! He looks to roe as If he were tired of life. Mr. Binthar—Oh, no! He's merely tired of married life!— Puck. An to it Friend of Thelra. May—At any rate, she is not un conscious of her beauty. Carrie —Oh, no! Not even momen tarily forgetful. —Puck. Heyond Criticism. "Is your French cook a success?" "Yes; we can't either of us tell him when things don't suit us."—Chicago Kecord. An Explanation. "You say they are twins, and yet one is five years older than her sister?" "Yes. You see, one of them is mar ried and one is not."—Town Topics. Unite Proper. "She made the piano fairly talk." "Well, why not? It was at a piano recital." —N. Y. Evening Journal. MY COUNTRY'S FLAG. My country's flag, to thee. Emblem of liberty. We raise our song Be thou with hope e'er starred. By traitor's hand unmarred. Thine honor ever barred Against the wronp. O! wave till war.* shall cease. And nations be at peace Throughout the world; Until all deeds are wrought With kindly hand and thought. All freedom's battles fought. Be thou unfurled. Or on the land, or sea. Still thou the banner be Of all our glory. Founded with hopes and feara. With sacrifice and tears. Noble through all its years. Thy nation's story. Thou God of battles, lead Where'er Thy help we need. Thy power and might: Where'er our flag shall wave. Make our hearts strong and brave. Be there Thy strength to save, God of the right. —R. S. Overton, in Christian World. I TWO ON A TANDEM. 1 1 2 By J. A. FLYNN. ■ i , #i , «i*^i'. H ".'.'. ..i"X MRS. GOLIGHTLY (to Mrs. Nupair) —Cycling: Oh, I simply adore it! Jiut it you want to enjoy it properly you must have a tandem. That i what Adolphus antl 1 ride. \ou don't have any responsibility, and you go ever so much farther and. faster, and you don't get nearly so tired. Have to do your share of the work? Oh, yes! Certainly. That's only fair. But, of course, you expect your hus band to do just a little more. Going up hill, for example, you needn't pedal unless you like, lle'll never notice. And when you're getting tired coming home, you can take a rest and let him work it. Men don't feel it, you know; they're so much stornger. There's nothing like a tandem. It leaves you so free to enjoy yourself and look at the scenery. Mr. Golightly (to Mr. Xupair)—Get a tandem! Good gracious, no! What ever put such a notion into your head? My dear fellow, you're mad to think of it! Why do I? Well, I can't get out of it now I've started, but if I had to begin again—why, I wouldn't, that's flat! You have all the responsibility, and'don't go nearly as fast or as far as on a single, and you get twice the fa &' The lady does some of the work. Oh, yes! Certainly. But she expects the gentleman to do a good bit more. Going up hill, for example, she rarely touches the pedals. ' She thinks you don't notice it. Twelve stone odd\ Laura weighs. Then just, when you're done up, the lady will feel tired and let you do all the work. You've no chance to enjoy the scenery or any thing. So whatever you do, my boy, don't you have a tandem! Mr. George Washington—Of course a single bike's better than nothing; but, if you want to spin along and en joy yourself, you should have a tan dem. I told you about Brown and my self going to Ilidd'leham in just over two hours, didm't I —a matter of 71 miles? Ah. I thought so! And about our beating the record to Brighton? You didnH believe it. That's where it is! It's no use telling you fellows any thing. Y'ou think everyone exag gerates like you do. Anything fresh? Well, yes; but you'd never credit it, so what's the use of telling you? It was rather peculiar. I don't know that I should.believe it myself, if anyone else told me. (Puffs meditatively at his cigar.) Out with it? Well, it's a serious matter, really —deuced serious—and if you play any larks or make game. I shall shut up, remember. Poor old Flyer! (Takes a long drink and shakes his head sol emnly.) Y'ou knew poor old Flyer, who held all the records for a couple of years? A good sort, but rather peculiar. Ho always wanted to break the tandem records, but he couldn't get a partner who was fast enough for him. It was before I took to racing, don't you know. Many's the time he's said to me: "Washington, my boy, if you would ride with me —" Look here, if you fellows don't stop making faces, I shall dry up. When he broke his neck in the hun dred mile race, his people asked me to accept His tandem, and'l didn't like to hurt their feelings by refusing. But, somehow, I couldn't feel that anyone I knew was class enough to take poor Flyer's place—you'll excuse me, boys, but he was a rider, you know —so it was a long time before I rode it; but last night I thought I'd take it out by myself. When I got on, I was aston ished to find how easily it went; I scarcely had to touch- it. So I went further than I intended, till at last I came to Boxley, where they've built that sew track. Then I thought it was tfm»> to go back home, but I'm hanged if the machine would turn, and though I tried to back pedal. I couldn't stop it. In a few moments we ran right up to the private entrance, and the care taker just touched his hat, and we ran cn to the track. "Why, I thought lie> was done for!" I heard him say to his mate, and my hair stocd right on i-nd. For I knew that old Flyer's ghost was riding behind me! If you fellows think this is a laughing matter, I don't. Well, we ran on to the track just as the clock struck eight, and round we commenced to go. The caretaker and his pal came and leaned on the rail and watched us, and I heard one of them say: "They're going at the one hour record, like he said he would when he got his mate." So 1 thought that, ghost or no ghost. I'd do my best for him. When I put my back into it, round we went, faster and faster, and the place seemed to fly by. I never saw anything like it. ar.d I don't sup pose I ever shall. Another whisky? Well. I n:snd if T do To make a long story short, we went round 100 times and a bit —four laps-to the mile, mind' —by the time the clock Struck nine. Then the caretaker and his friends clapped their hands, and off we went. When we got outside I put up my feet and rested, and let the ma chine go by itself, and —. Look here, if you fellows are going to throw things, I'm off! Mrs. Worldleigh—Annie engaged to young Bich? Well, my dear, 1 don't mind telling you—yes. A very suitable match for her, don't you think? We're all very pleased. How fortunate lam with all my girls so nicely settled? Ye —es; I suppose I ought to think so. But, between you and me, Fanny, I don't know that "fortunate" is exactly the word. It's management, my dear, management! That's what it is. What do I mean? Well —speaking between friends, you know —it's the tandem. If you would only get a good one, you would have both your girls off your hands in no time. You see, everybody cycles nowadays, and lots of young fellows are anxious to try a tandem, though they mayn't care to gel one just for themselves. So you lei ihem take your girls out —the right lellow and the right girl, of course — and the thing's done. You see, they can't fall out ar.u ride different ways, nr go otT with the wrong person, or any foolishness of that sort. They have to keep together. Isut Mary Smith got engaged to young Thriftless through going on a tandem? Then her mother ought to be ashamed of herself. You don't catch any young Thriftlesscs on my tandem! 'Arry's Donah—'Ow's 'Arry? You'd better go an' harsk 'im yerself. Hi dunno; an' don't care, neither. Wot's the matter? Wy, me an' 'im's 'ad words, an' we ain't keepin' company no more. Ilanythink else you'd like to know? Wot was it abart? Wy, it wasn't notliink much, lt was over riding tat.- dem, wot I never did "old with, an* you don't ketch me doin' it no more. Eel! horf? Of course we did; but it wasn't that. We didn't git hon; that's wy we fell hout! It was like this 'ere. Last Friday 'Arry comes along to our place, an' sez to me: "Wot ho, o'e gal! Wot cher say to going down to Appinton on a tandem to-morrer?" "Hall right, 'Arry," I sez, "Hime on." So e' 'ired a machine, an' darn we went. Darn where? Well, fust it wos darn in the road. "Arry can't steer for r.uts, I tell you strite. Itight into ole Cabbage's moke 'e went, an' pitched me clean in the cart. "Look 'ere. 'Arry," I sez, "if that's the way yer steer, hile come in front." An' I did. Then 'Arry wobbled abart so that I couldn't keep him strite, an* we run into a hold gent, wot was very un pleasant. So 'e tikes the front seat, kw' J :wm^ . • "MEN DON'T FEEL IT, YOU KNOW " an' runs into a dorg, an' horf we went agin an' bent the machine cruel. 'Ow ever, 'e stritened it a bit with a poker 'e borrered, an' then we went on orl right. An' when we got to 'Appinton we put up the tandem, an' 'ad a good time with another young lydfy an' 'er chaj) wot we met, an" agreed we'd ride *ome part of the wy together. When we wasgoin' back, it was get tin' dark, an' 'Arry sez to me: "Look 'ere, 'Arriet, we'l let them see wot we can do. Let's git orf sharp, 'an show "em." So we 'ad a little more refresh ment, an' out we gees; but they sees us goin', and rushes out, too. An' somehow, comin' out of the bar into the dark, we got mixed. I see 'Arry, as I thought, in 'is brown coat an' knickers, gettin' on 'is tan dem, wot I knowed by its bent bars, an' up I jumps be'ind. "Go it, 'Arry," I whispers, an* 'e just grunts, an' we did go. I tell yer! We 'ardly spoke till we got to Bloom road, an' then 'e turned the wrong way. " 'Old 'ard, mate," 1 sez; "where yer goin'?" But 'e sez nothink, an' on we went, me won derin' wot 'e was at. "Y'ou ain't goin' to the liotlier side of London, are yer?" I sez, very sarcastic. Then 'e slows, an' looks round; an' it wasn't 'Arry, but the other bloke! "Well, hime blowed!" e' sez; an' I sez —well, I wasn't very perlite. Knowin' 'Arry would be that savage, nat'rally I was wild. Any'ow, that bloke kidded me to let , 'im put me darn at Pell lane, an' 'e'd take the tandem to the shop. An' I went 'omc; and in comes 'Arry, fair mad. "Well, 'Arry," I sez, " 'ere's a go. I thought it was you, T tell you ' strife." I!ut 'Arry just glares at me, an' "Where's the machine?" 'e sez. Wen I told 'im, orf he rushed to the shop. An' that 'ere tandem never came back, an' 'Arry 'ad to py for it, an'—well, that's 'ow me an' 'im 'ad words!"— St. Paul's. Those Loving: Girls. Nell —So you and Jack are really en gaged, are you? Bessi—Y'es; we have decided to enter into a life partnership. Nell —And just think of it, Jack will be the silent partner. Isn't that just tco lovely! —Chicago Daily News. His Illustration. "You have often pictured to your self," said the man who bad just re turned from his wedding tour, "how places that you have heard of but never seen would look, haven't you?" i "Yes." "And when you finally saw them you j always found them to be wholly dif ferent from what you had thought they would be?" "Yes." "Well, it's the same way with mar riage."—Chicago Daily News. A Possible Seqnel. "If you should buy dry-goods fdt two dollars." said the professor, who was explaining an obscure point in po , litical economy— "Say one ninety-nine," murmured Miss Yassar. " —or. say one ninety-nine—the trans action will be complete when the goods are paid for." "Unless." suggested Miss Yassar, "I should bring them back to beexchanged for something else."—Puck. Something Ensf. "What did your wife say to you when you got home from the club at such an unearthly hour this morn ing?" "Oh. ask me something easy." "What would you call something easy?" "Well, you might ask me what she failed to say."—Chicago Post. A Musical Criticism. "That musician," said the man who is always endeavoring to tell something . wonderful, "was a prodigy. He com- I posed music when he was five years old." i "Yes," answered Miss Cayenne. "And I that isn't all. It is even suspected that his best work was done at that nge." —Washington Star. Had to t'ae \neicets. Friend—l understand that they use beans instead cf poker chips up in the Klondike gold fields, j Returned Miner—We tried it a few times, but it didn't work well. When ever a man got 40 beans he'd pull out of the game and go and have a square meal. —Up to Date. Depends oa Circumstances. Mrs. Chugwater—Josiah, I see a good deal in the papers about infernal machines. What is an infernal ma chine ? Mr Chugwater—Well, sometimes I j think it's a lawn mower and some -lime si think it's a, piano.—ChicagQ WILL HELP TRADE. Interest Excited by Proposal to An nex the Island of Puerto Rica Carefully Compiled Statistics Sliow- Inc the Present \ aI ae «if On r Im liorts from and Exports to the Island. The trade between the L'nited States and Puerto Rico is reviewed in a bul letin issued by the secretary of agri culture, compiled under the direction cf Frank H. Hitchcock, chief of the foreign markets section. Special ef forts to secure the most reliable and complete data were made, owiug to the avowed intention of the adminis tration to make the island a perma tent possession. The official returns show that our commercial transactions with Puerto Rico during tbe fiscal year 1597, just closed, amounted in value to $4,109,912, the least since the civil war, except in 1595, when it fey to $3,340,050. The highest mark was in 1572, when im ports and exports had a combined value of $13.570,92j. Subsequently the trade declined rapidly and in less than a decade it had fallen off more than, cne-half. The average annua! trade fell from $1.017.755 for ISSS-92 t054,556,- 617 in 1593-97. The shrinkage in our trade with Puerto Rico is traceable mainly to the falling off in our imports from the island. The value of the merchandise we now seed to Puerto Rico closely ap proaches the value of the goods we receive in return. Formerly our im ports were largely in excess of our ex ports. I Agricultural products play the most important part of this commerce, over SO per cent, in value of merchandise : being- imported and exported. Our imports are almost entirely agricul tural. Non-agricultural commodoties also form less than 40 per cent, of our exports there. Sugar is the most im portant of the imports, comprising nearly 75 per cent, of all imports, and combined with molasses would form over 95 per cent. Fruits, nuts and spices are other important agricul tural imports. The average annual import of coffee for the last five years was 1G4.7&9 pounds, worth $32,071. This item has declined about two-thirds in the last decade. The leading non-agricultural im ports from there are perfumery and cosmetics, chemicals, drugs and dyes, unmanufactured wood and salt, ftreadstuffs and most products in value form nearly 95 per cent, of our agri cultural exports to Puerto Rico. Wheat flour, the leading export, reached a value of $570,619 between 1593-97. During the last five years the average annual value of the meat ex ports returned at $662,576 was slightly larger than that of exported bread stuffs, the latter declining and the former increasing during the last dec ade. Wood and its manufactures and manufactures of iron and steel con stitute over one-half of non-agricul tural exports to Puerto Rico, mineral cil and coal also being most important items AFTER WESTERN MEN. Permanent Naval Recruiting Station la Opejed I'p at Chicago—Only One In Middle \\ est. While engaged in making a tour of the western lake cities recruiting sailors for the navy Commander Ilaw ley succeeded in securing the consent of the navy department for the estab lishment of a permanent naval recruit ing station at Chicago, the only one in the middle west. This station has opened up for business in rooms in the Masonic Temple secured by Com mander Hawley before he left Chicago on his return to Washington. It is in charge of Lieutenant Commander Hol man Vail, who will have associated with him Surgeon Moore and Chief En gineer Horthwick. both retired offi cers. and Boatswain Hudson. The plan of operations is to recruit at Chicago and as soon as 40 or 50 men have en listed to send them to the nearest navy jard where they may be needed, in charge of one of the officers named. Permission has been given to the com manding officer of the United States ship Michigan, cow at Erie, Pa., to ac cept recruits so long as the present war continues, but beyond this and continuing the Chicago station perma nently the navy will do no more re cruiting in the west unless some un foreseen emergency arises. FILLING ARMY VACANCIES. Itulinif of War Department That Pru- Idem Alone Can Appoint Officers in the Volunteer Ranks. A special to the St. Louis Post-Disr patch says that the war department has ruled that the president alone can appoint officers to vacancies in vol unteer regiments caused by death, resignation or discharge, after being mustered into the United States serv ice. This will, it is said, invalidate a number of appointments made by Gov. Stephens to the five regiments now in the field. Among those appointed by the governor, after muster, is Maj. Henry S. Julian, former chief of police of Kansas City, to a vacancy in the Fifth Missouri volunteers. leaser for Sliafter Relic®. The birthplace and boyhood home of Gen. Shafter, the hero of Santiago, on the outskirts of Xiles, Mich., is being rapidly demolished by souvenir-seek ers Hundreds of people visit the build ing and fabulous prices are be -s,is p i! '•> ihe owner. A. 11. Carr, for i! splinters from the build- All She Needed. "yes," said the sober-faced man, "we tried uverything for her. We had Bllopaths and homeopaths, and water cures and movement cures, and they could do nothing for her. We finally gave up in despair, and —" "And she lingered along for a week or two. until death at last brought re lief to her sufferings?" said the man who interrupts. "So, she got well immediately."—ll lustrated American. A I'opalar Doctor. "And with all the money you can af ford to spend on doctors you go to Dr. Turniphedde and have him treat you when every one knows he is quite in competent!" "Incompetent? Why. he's the only doctor of the whole push who doesn't i begin l>v telling me to quit drinking." —X. Y. World. llnrnlnK the Mldnlirlit Oil. He burned the retdnlshl oil; A one he workrd a .- ay, Rul no Olympian heights were gained HP wroir no movlnu lay! His bullaeye lantern threw A r lender beam of llsht Upon the saf. door that he sought To get unhinged that night. 1 -Clc v r-lnartJifflrter. No. 41 TO REWARD THE CHINESE. ' Admiral !>«•««•» Favors Mtklmg sens of the Chinese ok Uls Ships. Admiral Dewey's recent mail com' munication to tbe navy department; has given the most generous recogni-! tion to nil those who participated in) any way on board the American ship*, during the battle of Manila, and in-, eludes a specific recommendation as to the Chinese who are serving in various minor capacities. This rec ommendation. affecting the question' of citizenship, was turned over by the navy to the state department, where the following statement was made: "In further proof of the nobility of « character of Admiral Dewey is his' recommendation to the United States government that the Chines* servants and other Chinese who were 'on the' ships of his squadron during the bat tle at Manila, and who rendered most efficient service on that occasion and behaved in a most exemplary manner, be recognized by this government in some substantial manner. He seems to think that men who have battled for our country should not be ex cluded from it. In referring to these Chinese he says that they showed such courage and energy in the face of the enemy that they were certain ly worthy the treatment accorded cit izens of other countries who have not exposed their lives for the country in which they seek citizenship. He is decidedly in favor of recognizing Ihese brave and useful Chinese in such a way as shall admit them to the United States in case they desire to enter it and to become citizens of it." ACTION IN SCOVEL AFFAIR. \ew York Correspondent Kxpelled from Santlnao by Gen. Shaffer. Secretary Alger received a report from Maj. Gen. Shafter concerning the case of Sylvester Seovel, a* cor respondent of the Xew York World, who was placed tinder arrest at San tiago city on Sunday, July 17, during the ceremonies attending the surren der of that place and the raising of the stars and stripes over the civil gov ernor's palace. The difficulty arose, according to Gen. Shafter's statement, over Scovel's attempt to make himself a prominent figure in the flag-raising. Gen. Shafter says that Scovel made an effort to as cend to the platform from which the flag was hoisted. He was orderedback, but persisted in carrying out his in tention. Finally, when he found, that he could not succeed, h£ approached Gen. Shafter, and. making an abusive remark, attempted to strike him. The blow fell short and Gen. Shafter or dered Scovel placed under arrest. Gen. Shafter says he did not want to dignify the ocurrence by directing the trial of Scovel by court-martial, and he had disposed of the matter by orderingthat the man be 'expelled from Santiago province. Secretary Alger has approved this action of Gen. Shafter. EOW TO WIN A MEDAL. Eeclp« by Which If Followed A Young Soldier May Bo Decorated. How can the young soldier win the medal of honor? Pick up your wound ed comrade or officer from the field and carry him off under a fierce fire. Grab up a shell and tear out the fuse or throw it into the water before it can do any damage. Run under a heavy fire and bring back water for the wounded. Save the life of your commanding officer by beating off the cluster of hostile soldiers who are about to kill him. Rally a retreating force of your troops and turn defeat into victory. Recapture one of your flags taken by the enemy. Do this alone, against several of the Spanish. Capture the Spanish general single-handed. Save your own general by bravery. Spike tbe Spanish cannon in a wild dash on the artillery. Dress the wounds of a desperately hurt comrade under the enemy's fire. Defend a hospital and cover the re-, treat of the sick and wounded undler fire. Maintain single-handed a forti or other works attacked by the enemyj Do any of these things and the medal is j-ours. BICYCLE FOR WARFARE. Soldiers Can Load and Fire from It Without Leaving the Saddle. A Columbus (O.) inventor, H. B, neyl, has patented a bicycle which will be offered to the war department for use in the field. The principal feature in the new wheel is that it is made with a low frame and an easily movable seat post. The seat can be raised or lowered by twisting the handle bars. The idea is that the soldier can bring his wheel to a stop, and by lowering the seat place both feet on the ground without leaving the saddle. He can then fire and load at will and when! ready to start out again the seat raised by the handle bars. A move* ment is on foot to start a stock com pany in Columbus for the manufacture of the new wheel. Indiana Will Lose *20,000 by Uultters. Under the government's ruling re garding the reimbursement of states for the concentration of volunteers In diana will lose about $20,000 by reason of "quitters" and rejected men, whoee expenses tbe government refuses to pav. The number who backed out after answering the call has been large. Queer. It is strange how very few women ore willing to admit that they rememi ber anything of the late war. Xol Unite Ready. "The boat is sinking!" he cried, "W« must take to the water!" "Impossible!" she answered. "Ihave mislaid my oiled silk bathing cap and my hair would get all wet." —Chicago Post. 11 Was Too Hard for He*. "But can you not learn to love me, Miss Knisely—lsabel?" "I am afraid not, Mr. Greefe, I never could learn anything that demanded application."—Brooklyn Life. Old, Hut No Joke. "That's a eery old joke about the scarcity of men at the summer re sorts." "It mav be old, but it's no joke."— N. Y. Truth. As the Years 1101 l By. \pe may not be talkative, I.tke the average human; Yet there's none who can deny It tells on man and woman. —Chicago Dally News. Ac«*J«lents Will lli.ppen. Mamma —It must have been three o'clock this morning when the baby woke up. Papa—Yes. He overslept hinwelf!— Puck.