VOL* XXXY Grand Clearance Sale OF £ Boots, SHOES and Rubber Goods. £ A money saving sale tor economical buyers—a sale which will be talked of in every family—a grand cut of prices on all goods, none wi'l be spared. It will pay vou to come miles ro attend ti is sale— I we need room and must reduce our sto k and here are the low prices they will go at. i lot ladies' fine dongola pat. tip shoes, regular price 50, reduced to »,- .9"- 1 ! 1 lot ladies' waterproof kangaroo ca'f but. shoes regular price $1 40 reduced to .90 1 lot chi'd's solar tip grain shoes, regular price 75c reduced to 5° I I lot men's fine satin calf shoes Eng. Bals., regular price $1.50 reduced to.. 1.00 ( 1 lot ladies' heel and spring heel rubbers, regular price 35c reduced to 15 ; I lot children's rubbers, regular price 25c, reduced to j I lot men's all solid working shoes do.nble sole and regular price si-4°» reduced to I -°° > 1 lot la-lies'fine dongola hand turn and liaad welt shoes, regu'ar price £3.00, $3-5° anc ' yonr choice at 2 -°° j 1 lo' ladies' warm lined shoes, regular price ii.25, reduced to. 75 ! 1 lot ladies' warm lined slippers, regu'ar price 90c, reduced to 5° j A line of holiday slippers which sold at 90c, and Jr. 35 will be closed out at *>s Our stock of fe't boots and rubber goods to be closed out cheap. Sheffield sole leather by the side 20c per pound and best cut, cut in strips at 25c per -pound. Cut soles at ioc per pair. All kinds of findings and shoe-makers supplies at rock bottom prices Men's best felt boots with first grade woonsocket overs at .75 Boy's felts and best overs at 1.25 Youth's felts and best overs at 9° Men's woonsocket first quality rubber boots at 2.00 Boy's woonsocket boots at - 1.25 Children's rubber boots at 75 Boy's storm king rubber boots at 1-5° Youth's storm king rubber boots at - 1-25 JOHN BICKEL. HUM'S G -Vl rk s,ie IN BOOTS and SHOES. There will be lively shoe selling in this house for some time to come. We have taken the balance of several of our fine lines -sizes are somewhat broken —and marked them down to About 50c on the Dollar! Misses' Shoes. mostly narrow widths A, B and C. One lot of fine Dongola, plain toe, a "' narrow feet wiU have a rare spring and heel, former price $1.25, $1.50 ' and f?.oo, now 75c and $l.O0 —sizes One lot of Ladies' Lace Shoes, former ji price ft 25 and #2.00; now 75c and SI.OO. Children's, same stvle, 8% to it, re- One lot of Ladies'soft Dongola shoes, dnctd to 50c and 75c." Sizes 6 to 8, 35c button and firns. plain and tip, former ami 50c. price $4.00 and *4.50; now $ 1.50 and One Lot Women's ?°' ~ Heavy Leather Shoes-former price omen s Ruobers at 18c, 20c and 25c. r.25; now 75c. Wool Boots and Stockings. Men's and Boys' Shoes. Men's Wool Hoots and Rubbers at One lot of Call hand-made Congress $1.35 and |2.00. Shoes former price $3-00; new #1.50. Men's Rubber Shoes, good at 50c. Sizes 6 to 3. VVe have buckle and storm arctics at 75c Boys' Shoes at 75c and {(too. Sizes 1 and sr.oo. Rubber Boots, all kinds you to 5 '/£. may ask for. Tell us what you want. Ladies' Shoes. We smve il - One lot fine Dongola, lace and but- *"*' inter goods-warn, lined Shoes ton, former price $2,00, *3 00 and #4.00; ! am! M! PP ers at a Breat8 reat reduction, now (too, Jti 50 and $2.00. These are! YOU WILL FIND US Butler's Leading °pp° site Hotel Lowr y- Shoe house, 102 N. Main St., Butler, Pa. 1 & YOUNG, Tailor,fatter and Gents Furnishing Goods. Summer heat makes the problem of looking dressy and keeping cool a hard one But wt've solved it; ard for " town fpn - al C4r<- (.iiar'juteed. Sul'le room lor pixfy five noises. 4 g< •>! i-f hi">i». both di ii era and U»ri>en always on band ;iud lor sale ■inder » mil gnarai tee; scd hordes bocght up.in proper mitifioaiion hv SKA N0 It s & Buhl ~ CT> ALLEGHENY, PA. EYES EXAUBEI) FREE 'Jp CBAKGE R L. KlrXpdtrick, Optician and Jewelei Next to Court House Butler, Late Gradnate La Port Harol ogicl institnte ABRAMS, BROWN & Co Insurance andißeil Estate. STRONG COMPANIES PROMPT SETTLEMENTS. Home Insurance Co. of New Vork. Insur aiioe jo. "f North Arm-rli-i.. ~f I'hlladelpliia , I'a. l'hiriix nf Brooklyn V V Md Hartford luuuce . „ f ■ ikrtfoid c< >on OKJ'K F.: Corner of Main St. and the Dla mond. uorth of Court House. Itutler i'a. M. C. WAGNER, ARTIST PHOTOGRAPHER, 139 South Main street. Over Shaul & Nast s Clothing Store BUTLER, PA., THURSDAY, JANUARY '2l, 1 ■ is ROBERT "LOUI^jTEVE^IIt SYNorsie. CHAPTER L—Billy Bones, an old sea flog, much addicted to rum, lodges at Ad miral Benbow Inn. CHAPTER ll.—Stranger, called "Black Dog." meets Bones; an interview ends In tight and disappearance of stranger. Bones suffers apoplectic stroke. CHAPTER lll.—Blind beggar comc3 to Ir.n, presses something in Bones' hand and leaves. "Ten o'clock!' Bones cries. "Six hours. We'll do them yet: at which moment he is struck dead by apo plexy. , . . CHAPTER IV.—Near Bones body la found a little round i ' >". ud I Mnrdgtmleap with great rapid ity behind the trunk of a pine. What it was, whether l>ear or man or monkey, I could in no wise tell. It seemed dark aud shaggy; more I knew 1 ot. But the terror of the new apparition brought me to a stand. I was now, it seemed, cut otT upon both sides; behind me the murderers, beforemetbis lurkingnocde>eript. And immediately I began to prefer th» dan gers that I knew to those I knew not. Silver himself appeared le>< terrible ir contrast, with this creature of the woods, and I turned on my heel, and, looking sharply behind me over my shoulder, began to retrace my steps in the direction of the boats. Instantly the figure reappeared, and. making a wide circuit, began to head me off. I was tired, at any rate; but had I been as fresh as when I rose, 1 could see it was in vain for me to con tend in speed such an adversary. From trunk to trunk the creature flitted like a deer, running man-like on two legs, but unlike any man that I had. ever seen, stooping almost double as it ran- Yet a man it was. I could no longer be in doubt about that I began to recall what I had heard of cannibals. I was within an ace of call ing for help. But the mere fact that he was a man. however wild, had some what reassured me, and' my fear of Sil ver began to revive in proportion. I stood still, therefore, and cast about for some method of escape; and ns I was so thinking, the recollection of my pistol flashed into my mind. As soon as I remembered I was not defenseless, courage glowed again in my heart; and I set my face resolutely for this man of the island, and walked briskly toward him. He was concealed by this time, be hind another tree trunk; but he must have been watching me closely, for as -soon as I began to move In his direction he reappeared and' took a step to meet me. Then he hesitated, drew back, 'v I ■liver burled hie knife twice in that defcnes'.eis body. came forward again, and at last, to my wonder and contusion, threw him self 011 his knees and held out his clasped hands in supplication. At that I once more stopped. "Who are you?" I asked. "Ben Gunn," he answered, and his voice sounded hoarse and awkward, like a rusty lock. "I'm poor Ben 'iunn, I am; and I haven't spoke with a Chris tian these three years." I could now see that he w;t,« a white roan like myself, anc that hi,* features were even pleasing. His skin, wher ever it was exposed, was burned by the sun; even his lips were black, and his fair eyes looked quite startling in so dark a face. Of all the beggar-men that I had seen or fancied, he was the chief for raggedness. He was clothed with tatters of old ship's canvas and old sea cloth; and this extraordinary patch work was all held together by a system of the most various and incongruous fastenings, brass buttons, bits of stick, atjd loops of tarry gaskin. About his waist he wore an old brass-buckled leather belt, which was the one thing solid in his whole accoutrement. "Three years!" I cried. "Were you shipwrecked?" "Nay, mate," said he —"marooned." I had heard the word, and I knew it ptood for a horrible kind of punish ment common enough among the buc caneers, in which the offender is put ashore with a little powder and- shot, and left behind on some desolate and distant island. "Marooned three years agone," he continued, "and lived on goats since then, and berries, and oysters. Wher ever a man is, says I, a man can do ior himself. But, mate, my heart is sore ,for Christian diet. You mightn't hap pen to have a piece of cheese about you, now? No? Well, many's the long night I've dreamed of cheese —toasted, mostly—and woke up again, and here I were." "If ever I can get aboard again," said I, "you shall have cheese by the stone." All this time he had been feeling the stuff of my jacket, smoothing my hands, looking at my boots, and generally, in the intervals of his speech, showing a childish pleasure in the presence of a fellow creature. But at my last words he perked up into a kind of startled sly ness. "If you ever get aboard again, says you?" he repeated. "Why, now, who's to hinder you?" "Not you, I know," was my reply. "And right you was," lie cried. "Xow you—what do you call yourself, mate . "Jim," I told him. "Jim, Jim," says he, quite pleased, ap parently. "Well, now, Jim, I've lived that rough as you'd be ashamed to a hear of. Now, for instance, you wouldn't think I had a pious mother to look at me?"' he asked. "Why, no, not in particular," I an swered. "Ah, well," said he, "but I had—re markably pious. And I was a civil, pious boy, and could rattle off my cate chism that fast, as you couldn't tell one word from another. And here's what it come to, Jim. and it begun with ehuek-farthen 011 the blessed grave stones! That's what it begun with, but it went further'n that; and so my mother told me, and predicked the whole, she did, the pious woman. But It were Providence that put me here. I've thought it all out in this here lone ly island, and I'm back 011 piety. You can't catch me tasting rum so much; but just a thimbleful for luck, of course, the first chance I have. I'm bound I'll be good, and I see the way to. And, Jim—" looking all around him, and lowering his voice to a whisper— "l'm rich." I now felt sure that the poor fellow had gone crazy in his solitude, and I suppose I must have shown the feeling in my face, for he repeated the statement, hotly: "Rich! rich! I says. And I'll tell you what; I'll make a man of you, .Jim. Ah, Jim, you'll bless your stars, yov will, you was the first that found me!" And ut this there came suddenly a low princ shadow over his face, and he tip! vnH hi - grasp upon my hand, and Ml'; D a f. rctiuger threateningly be fore my eyes. .Tin'., j u tell me true; that ain't Flint's ship?" he asked. At this I had a happy inspiration. I be-rai to believe that I had found an ally, and 1 answered him at nnce. "It's not Flint's ship, and Flint is dead; but I'll tell you true, as you ask , ne _there are some of Flint's hands aboard; worse luck for the rest of lis." "Not a man —with cne—leg'.'' he gasped. "Silver?" 1 asked. "Ah, Silver!'' says he; "that were his name." "Ifi's the cook; and the ringleader, too." He was still holding me by the wrist, and at that he gave it a quiet wring. "If jou was sent by I.ong John,' he said, "I'm as pood ;is pork, and 1 know it. I'.ut where was you, do you sup pose?' 1 had made my mind up in a moment, and by way of answer told him the whole story of our voyage, and the pre dicament iu which we found ourselves, lie heard me with the keenest interest, and w hen 1 had done he patted me on the-head. "You're a good lad, Jim," he t»iid; "and you're all in a clove hitch, ain't you? Well, you just put your trust in lien Gum. lien Gunn's the man to do it. Would you think it likely, now, that your squire would prove a liberal minded one iu case of help—him being in a clove hitch, as you remark?" I tolii him the squire was the most lib eral of men. "Ah, but you see," returned Ben Gtmn, "I didn't mean giving me a gale to Keep, and a suit of livery clothes, and such; that's not my mark, Jim. What 1 mean is, would 1;.- be likely to come down to the toon of, say £ 1,000 out of money that's as good as a man's own already?" "I am sure he would," said I. "As it was, all hands were to share." "And a passage home?" he added, with a look of great shrewdness. "Wl.. I cried, "the squire's a gen ticmar.. Vi.d, besides, if we got rid of the others, we should want you to help work the vessel home." "Ah," said he, "so you would." And he seemed very much relieved. "X'iw, I'll tell you what," he went ou. "So much I'll tell you, and no more. I were in Flint's ship when he buried the tr;: nre; he and six along—six st >g seamen. Tbey was ashore nigh on a v. ,-ek. and us standing oIT and on in the o'd "Walrus.' One line day up went the signal, a: d here come Flint by himself iu a lit-tle boat, and his head <1 :-.e up in a b'.ne scarf. The sun was petting tip. and mortal white he locked about the cat-water. Hut, there he was, yon mir.d. and the six all dead —cead a: ' buri -d. How had he done it, n:»t a man aboard us could make out. It v.-- • br.ttli. nmrt'or s»rd sudden death, len ■'«; —hitr> r.pains't six. Billy Hone.- v a« ti;e mate; L-mg John, he was quartermaster; and they asked him where the treasure was. 'Ah,' says he, 'you can go ashore, if you like, and stay,' he says; 'but as for the ship, she'll beat up for more, by thunder!' That's what he said. "Well, I was in another ship three years back, and we sighted this island. 'Boys,' said I, 'here's Flint's treasure; let's land and find it.' The captain was displeased at that; but my messmates were all of a mind and landed. Twelve days they looked for it, and every day they had the worse word'for me, un/til one fine morning all hands went aboard. 'As for you. Benjamin Gunti,' says they, "here's a musket,' they says, 'and a spade, and pick-ax. Yo'i can stay here, and find Flint's money for yourself," they says. "Well, Jim, three years have 1 been here, and not a bile of Christian diet from that day to this. But now, you look here; look at me. Do I look like a man before the mast? Xo. says you. Nor I weren't, neither, I says." And with that he winked and pinched me hard. "Just you mention thein words to your squire, Jim"—he went on: "Nor he weren't, neither—that's the words Three years he were the man of this island, light and dark, fair and rain; and sometimes he would, inaybe, think upon a prayer (says j'ou), ancf some times he would, maybe, think of his old mother, so be as she's alive (you'll say); but the most part of Gunn's time (this is what you'll say)—the most part of his time was took up with another mat ter. And then you'll give him a nip, like I do." And he pinched me again, in the most confidential manner. "Then," he continued —"then you'll up and you'll say this: C-unn is a good man (you'll say), and he puts a precious sight moreeonfidence—a precious sight, mind that—in a gen'leman born than in these gen'lemen of fortune, having been one hisself." "Well," I said, "I don't understand one word that you've been saying. But that's neither here nor there; for how am I to get on board?" "Ah." said he, "that's the hitch for sure. Well, there's my boat that I made with my t.wo hands. I keep her under the white rock. If the worst come to the worst, we might try that after dark. Hi!" he broke out, "what's that?" For just then, although the sun had still an hour ortwo to run,all the echoes of the island awoke and bellowed to the thunder of a cannon. "They have begun to fight!" I cried. "Follow me." And I began to run toward the anchorage, my terrors all forgotten; while, close at my side, the marooned man in his goatskins trotted easily and lightly. "I,ejt, left," says he; "keep to your left hand, mate Jim! Under the trees with you! There's where I killed my first goat. They don't come down here now; they're all mastheaded on them mountings for the fear of Benjamin Gunn. Ah! and there's the cetemery" —cemetery he must have meant. "You sec the mounds? I come here and pray, uows and thens, when I thought maybe a Sunday would be about doo. It weren't quite a chapel, but it seemed more solemn like; and then, says you, Ben Gunn was short handed —no chapling, nor so much as a Bible and a flag, you says." So he kept talking as 1 ran, neither expecting nor receiving any answer. The cannon-shot was followed, after u considerable interval, by a volley of small arms. Another pause, and then, not a quarter of a mile in front of me, I be held the Union Jack flutter in the air above a wood. PART IV. THE STOCKADE. , CHAPTER XVI. NARRATIVE CONTINUED BT THE DOCTOR IIOW THE SHIP WAS ABANDONED. It was about half-past one—three bells in the sea phrase—that tli* two boats went ashore from the "Ilispani ola." The captain, the squire and 1 were talking matters over in the cabin. Had there been a breath of wind, we should have fallen on the six mutineers who were left aboard with us. sli lined our cable, and away to sea. Ilut the wind was wonting; aud to complete our helplessness, down came Hunter willi the i.ews that Jim Ilawkins had slipped into a boat and was gone ashore with the rest. It had never occurred to us to doubt Jim Hawkins; but we were alarmed for hi.s safctj. With the men in the temper they were in, it seemed au eveu < hanee if we should see the lad again. We ran on deck. The pitch was bubbling in the seams: the nasty stench of the place turned roe sick; If ever a man smelled fever and dysentery, it was in that abominable anchorage. The sis scoundrels were sitting grumbling under a sail In the forecastle; ashore we could see the gigs made fast, and a man sitting in each, hard by where the river runs in. One of them was whist ling "Lillibullero." Waiting was a strain; and it was de cided that Hunter and 1 should go ashore with the jolly-boat, in quest of information. The gigs had leaned to their right; but Hunter and I pulled straight in, in the direction of the stockade upon the chart. The two who were left guard ing their boats seemed In a bustle at our appearance; "Lillibullero" stopped off, and I could see the pair discussing what, they ought to bo. Had they gone and told Silver, ali might have turned out differently; but they had their orders, I suppose, and decided to sit quietly where they were and hark back again to "Lillibullero." There was a slight bend in the coast, and I steered so as to put it between us; even before we landed we had thus lost sight of the gigs. I jumped out, and came ns near running as 1 durst. \ri 4 l> -i Ivrr sil'< hnndV*r?hief under my hat for coolness' sake, and a brace of pistols ready primed for safety. I had not gone 100 yards when I came on the stockade. This was how It was: A spring of clear water rose almost at the top of a knoll. Well, on the knoll, and inclosing the spring, they had clapped a srtout log house, fit to hold two score people on a pinch, and loop-holed for mus ketry on every side. All round this they had cleared a wide space, and then tie thing was completed by a paling six feet high, without door or open ing, too strong to pull down without time and labor, and too open to shelter the besiegers. The people In the log house had them In every way; they stood quiet In shelter and shot the others like partridges. All they want ed was a good watch and food; for, short of a complete surprise, they might have held the place against a regiment. What particularly took my fancy wa« the spring. For, though we had a good enough place of it In the cabin of the "Hlspaniola," with plenty of arms and ammunition, and things to eat, and ex cellent wines, there had been one thing overlooked —we had no water. I wae thinking this over, when there cam* ringing over the island the cry of a man at the point of death. I was not new to violent death—l have served his royal highness the duke of Cum berland, and got a wound myself at Fontenoy—but I know my pulse went dot and carry one. "Jim Hawkins ia gone," was my first thought. It Is something to have been an oW soldier, (but more still to have been s doctor. There is no time to dilly-dallj in our work. And so now I made up my mind instantly, and with no time losl returned to the shore and jumped oi board the jolly-boat. By good fortune Hunter pulled a good oar. We made the water fly; and tbe boat was sooa and I aboard the schooner. I found them oil shaken, as was nat ural. The squire was sitting down, ai white as a sheet, thinking of the harm [ he bad led us to, the good soull and one I of the six forecastle hands was little better. "There's a man," said Capt. Smollett, nodding toward him, "new to thii work, ne came nigh-hand fainting, doctor, when he heard the cry. An other touch of the rudder and that man would join us." I told my plan to the captain, and be tween us we settled on the details of its accomplishment. We put old Redruth in the gallery between the cabin and the forecastle, with three or four loaded muskets and a mattress for protection. Hunter brought the boat round under the stern port, and Joyce and I set to work loading her with powder tins, muskets, bags of biscuits, kegs of pork, a cask of cognac and my invaluable medicine chest. In the meantime the squire and the captain stayed on deck, and the latter hailed the cockswain, who was the principal man on board. "Mr. Hands," he Bald, "here ore two of us with a brace of pistols each. If any one of you six make a signal of any description, that man's dead." They were a good deal taken aback; and after a little consultation, one and all tumbled down the fore companion, thinking, no doubt, to take us on the rear. But when they saw Redruth waiting for them in the sparred gal lery, they went about ship at once, and a head popped cut on deck. "Down, dog!" cries the captain. And the head popped back again; and we heard no more, for the time, of these six very faint-hearted seamen. By this time, tumbling things in as they came, wo had the jolly-boat loaded as much as we dared. Joyce and I got out through the stern port and we made for shore again as fast as our oars could take ns. This second trip fairly aroused the watchers along the shore. "Lillibul lero" was dropped again, and just be fore we lost eight of them behind the little point one of them whipped ashore and disappeared. I had half a mind to change my plans and destroy their boats, but I feared thot Silver and the others might be close at hand, and all might very well be lost by try ing for too much. We had soon touched land in the some place before we set the provi sion in the block-house. All three made the first journey, heavily laden, and tossed our stores over the palisade. Then, leaving Joyce to guard them— one man, to be sure, but with half a dozen muskets —Hunter and I returned to the jolly-boat, and loaded ourselves once more. So we proceeded without pausing to take breath, till the whole cargo was bestowed, when the two serv ants took up their position in the block-house, and I, with all my power, sculled back to the Hlspaniola. That we should have risked a second boat load seems more daring than it really was. They had the advantage of numbers, of course, but we had the advantage of arms. . Not one of the men ashore had a musket, and before they could get within range for pistol-shoot ing, we flattered ourselves wo could be able to give a good account of a half dozen at least. The squire was waiting 1 for me at the stern window, all his faintness gone from him. lie caught the painter and made it fast, and we fell to loading- the boat for our very lives. Pork, powder mod biscuit was the cargo, with only a tonsket and cutlass apiece for squire and mo and Redruth and the captain. Tke rest ofthe arms and jjowdej- were No 4 dropped oi< rl>oord in two fathoms and a half of water, so that we could see the bright steel shining far below us in the sun, on the clear, sandy bottom By ibis time tbe tide was beginning to ebb, and the ship was swinging around to her anchor. Voices were heard hallooing in the direction of the two gigs; and though this reassured u* for Joyce and Hunter, who were well to the eastward, it warned our party to be off. Hedruth retreated from his place in the gallery and dropped into the boat, which we had brought round to the ship's counter, to be handier for Capt. Smollett. "Now, men," said he, "do you hear me?" There wr>» no answer from the fore castle. "It's to you, Abraham Giay —it's to you I am speaking." Still no reply. "Gray," resumed Mr. Smollett, a little louder, "I am leaving this ship, and I order you to follow your captain. I know you are a good man at bottom, and I dare sny not one of the lot of you's as bad as he makes out. I have my watch here in my hand; I give you 30 seconds to join me in." There was a pause. "Come, my fine fellow," continued the captain, "don't liaug so long in stays. I'm risking my life, and the lives of these good gentlemen, every second." There was a sudden scuffle, a sound of blows, and out burst Abraham Gray w' th a knife cut on the side of theclieek, and came running to the captain, like a dog to the whistle. "I'm with you, sir," said he. And the next moment he and the cap tain had dropped aboard of us, and wo had shoved off and given way. We were clear out of the ship, but not yet ashore in our stockade. fro BE cosTtxr«».l The Cnt Direct. "For years he was well known to me," So the physician eadly said, "But now, called to his autopsy, I am obliged to cut him dead." —Harlem Life. A COMFOIITIJfU SCCGESTIOW. Gigantic Footballer (to little Tlbbins, who has been persuaded into taking the place of an absentee) —We must see if we can't make the next half a little more exciting, ole chap!— London Fun. Always in Debt. Take th® future as It comes. And though It may look black. Never borrow trouble for You cannot pay It back. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. How It Happened. "I wish," said the young mac, "that you would be less informal and call me by my first name." "I'd rather not," replied his fair com panion; "your last name suits me." A few minutes later they were dis cussing the merits of the different firms that supply furniture upon the install ment plan.—Chicago News. llow It Affect* Them. "There are only two classes of wom en who cry at weddings," said he. "Name them, please," she replied, her curiosity excited. "Those who are married themselves and those who have never had an oppor tunity to marry."—Louisville Courier- Journal. Proof Positive. Sheriff of Frozen Dog (bragging)—l met Hurricane Bill one day, when he WTIZ drunk and looking fer fight, and I jess simply— Bronco I'ete—Run like a jack rabbit, of course! Sheriff —What makes you think that? Bronco Pete —You're here. —Puck. No Change. She—Would you love me just the same if I were poor us you do when Fm *ih? lie—Just the same; and there was* covert meaning in the tone that her confiding nature did not grasp.—De troit Free Press. Wanted Her Free of ChU(«. "I came to ask for your daughter in marriage, sir," said the young man. "Have you any money of your own?" asked the careful parent. "Oh, you misunderstand me, sir! 1 do not want to buy herl"—Yonkern Statesman. Mlatrcan anil Maid. Mrs. Slimdiet (boarding house keep er) —What haveyou in this pot, Bridget? Bridget (who is trying to clean the old lamp burners by boiling them)—Plaze, muin, thim's th' ould lamp tops. They waz no use at all at all. Mrs. Slimdiet—Well, dont forget to put in plenty of seasoning.—N. Y. Week ly- Alivaja a Remnant. "There is one thing I can't under stand." "What is it?" "If a man dies his widow is called his relict." "Yes?" "And if she dies herself she is called the remains." —Chicago News. At the Table. Near-sighted Boarder—Where did Mr. Blimchap get that beautiful yellow chrysanthemum he is smelling? What an enormous one it is, too. Miss Prudity—That is not a chrysan themum; it is only cold slaw on the end of Mr. Slimchap's fork, Mr. Near sight.—Cincinnati Commercial. A Sordid Sonl. Jinks —Of all mean, grasping men, I think Minks is the worst. I don't be lieve lie ever gets his thoughts off of dollars and cents. Blinks —What has he been doing?" Jinks —He's been asking me for a pal try ten dollars I borrowed of liim some yenrs ago.—N. Y. Weekly. Torture. She (reading)—l see by the paper that Mr. Gladstone suys that practice is needed for the completion of an educa tion. He —Yes; I think about a week more practice by the girl in the next flat will complete my education for an in sane asylum.—l'p-to-Date. Front Day* to Day, With cheer and with ardor each new day begins And hope never totally lapses; Though yesterday passes with sad "Might have-beens," To-morrow la full of "Perhajnea." —Washington stair.