>VO L* xxxiv MRS. J. E ZIMMERMAN. Fall And Winter Announcement OF High=Class Novelty Silks, Dress (joods And Millinery. A pohiiively pfterkaa colleetioa of high class staftd. coufiaed exclusivoly to u«. The first choice of the world's foremost weaves hurried through the Custom (lounc under old tariff duties, we can offer you values at prices untouchable by i any competition, as our orders were all placed with importers threa months ago. { , SILKS. DRESS GOODS. h 25C — Beautiful Changeable Silks, all 25c All-Wool Novelty; value 40c. colors; real value 40c. 25c All-Wool SURGES; value 40c. 50C — Extra value in Changeable Silks 25c All-Wool 36-ineli Ladies' Cloth; I •old everywhere at 65c. value 40c. 69C —Elegant assortment of Figured 39 c All-Wool Novelty; value 50c. TafTetta Silks, all shades; real value 75c. 50C —WC are showing the largest as R,I TO.- I% 1 , , ! sortment of All-wool Plain Cloths, 75c— Black Satin Ducness, sold every- , , T ' - . serges, Henriettas an j elsewhere at 75c. Remember these £ JALKt I O. styles are exclusively our own; cannot be seen elsewhere at 75c, to FA, in The Rothschild Wraps for 1897 are plain aud fancy weaves. We are show liere in all their superb quality, style ■ ING as fine and exclusive line of pat- and finish; the perfect fit of these Gar- ; terns as can be found in the largest city ments is well known to our trade. Note 1 stores. The prices 011 these fine import the low prices. At #2.98, good quality ed Dress goods 25 per cent less than city Ladies Beaver Cloth Jacket. prices. • $5 00, an extr? quality of Boucle and Mil I INERY ' Kersey Jackets, style and figure guaran- IfIILLIIICIII. \ All the new effects in Hats, Feathers, ; $-J 50 to sf 15 00 —we are showing a line Birds, Ribbons and Flowers. New J that cannot be matched in the city. shapes, new combinations. This will be I „ . . , . 1 a ureal Ostrich season. Our Ostrich ' K Cloth Capes and $2 50 to #ls co. I „ , , « Goo fltid elegance are sure concomitants to artistic development. It Costs Vou no More to be In Harmony With Tbe Best Expressed Styles of The Season, Than to Constitute "A BACK NUMBER," > By taking anything and everything irresponsible dealers may offer you. This es tablishment intends always to keep up with the times and you pre sure of that basis yourse'f if you will trust us to serve you. T. H. BURTON, 120 SOUTH MAIN ST., BTJTLEB, PA. J. S. YOUNG, Tailor, Hatter and Gents Furnishing Goods. Summer lieat makes UU~ PRNBLEM OF LOOKIN 8 DRESS >' AL,D keeping', eool a hard one ... , , ~. , R -RE economy, comfort and fashion go hand in haud But we've solved it; and for ol ■" " _ ~ C • R1 : nobbier in pattern and more stylish in cu Our summer suits are finer in fabric, K ' , . . ~ R . "vet they're not sweat bath outfits. Th han "ver before, they fit your curves and _ 1 e prices may surprise you. J. S. YOUNG. Tailor. ,0. S. MAIN St., - - - BUTLER, PA | , A f^ @ A Pleasing Prospect^ / V " TO FIND THE COAT so satisfactory at Si 1 ! /wff- u\ the first trial - This ' s the Ulliversal testi " U / v \ Cli ii/\ mony of our patrons, who are all lovers of in I v, \yjt X V neat fitting clothes. Without them no man !' V, Xy A 'i m. looks well dressed. '■ \\ \ J V-»R\ A COAT VVF.LL MADE is made to fit and | I V > tf-Ti \i not to set-ju«t-hit-or-miss; an artist well tiwy j| \ i \ \| take delight in seeing a neat fitting coat. ' A )r»y ml Good material, NOTXL workmanship and good , J ! | :! \\ fits are the proof that have made our tailor i ' \\ \JR —PI ing a success. We guarantee THIS and ask f\ !1 j | ,J 1 -JL you to look at our patterns. Our prifes are V"! ' A ') //■, cut down to the lowest notch. !I J > M'\- \ I r C 1/ CP |/ MERCHABT TAILO*. "■' j r\ i | j 142 N\_MalivS«^^C£Pa. c? F7 T PAPE & BROS, JEWLERS. Our Full Stock Of —"Q Diamonds, Watches, Rings, PWware, etc., have WRIYED and we cordially invite ou to call and examine tnkf stock and get prices before buying elsewhere. We jcail save you money. OOK 53. 50 watch is the liest in tlie market. OUR $4.50 watch is the same a# you pay $5.50 and 56.00 elsewhere. We have about 15, $4 8 day clorks left, will close them out at $2.35. Our Stock Of — I adies and Gents filled watches is complete. We can save you from $3, 00 TO I on these goou-iiy Accommodation O '!■'» A.M 9 17 A.M Allegheny "Flyer" s !•"» * 4 >VJL " New ra.-tlf Accoiiiiihxlatioii 1 55 P.M 17 " Akron Mail « 1"» A.SI 7 01 P.M Allegheny Actum mixUtiou lo <*■"» " l'J 1* Allegheny Ex|uit* 3 115 P.M 4 V> " Allegheny "Flyer" 3 - CHICAGO KXPN'IW 3 40 '* 12 IS " Allegheny Mail 540 M H 44 Allegheny 44 Flyer" 7 o:l 44 Ell wood Accommodation 540 44 7 tKI 44 RHIEIIGO Limits! •"> 4" " 'J 17 A.M Kane and Bradford Mail 'J A.M "» L\M rhirioii Accommodation J 15 P.M \ M Foxliurg AccomnuMlation 710 4 * 8 " SUNDAY TRAINS. Allegheny Exprem 8 15 A.M 9 A 1 44 Allegheny Accommodation "• 4<» P.M 4 55 P.M New Cattle Acc<»mmodatlon H 1"» A.M 7 44 (Chicago Express :J 4<» r.M 4 55 44 Allegheny Accommodation I ! 7 Ott 44 Train* going north at 9:32 a. ni. and 3:15 i>. ni. make connection at Foxhnrg for points on Allegheny Valley Ry. For through ticket* to all iM>int*t in the west, north west or Houthwrat apply to A. 11. CROUCH. Agent. K. B. REYNOLDS, Snp't, Butler, l»a. Foxburg, Pa. C. W. BASSKTT, A. G. P. A.. Allegheny, Pa. PENNSYLVANIA Ri ,L. WFSTEN PENNSYLVANIA DIVISION. Schkmjlr is EFFECT MAY 17,1897. SOUTH. , WEEK DAYS |A. M A. M. A. M. P. M P. M. HI TLER Leave «i S"#, » ««» 11 15 2 35 5 05 Saxonhurg Arrive f» 54 X25113k 3 mi 28 Butler Junction.. ,4 I 727 M 4812 02 325 553 Butler Junction...Leavej 7 30 8 48 12 17 3 25 5 53 Natrona Vrrive 7 lift 8 12 25 3 35 f. 02 Tarentum j 7 42 D 02 12 30 3 42 ♦*» i»7 r »o !l 11 12 41 3 52 Claremont * i» 25 1 <*» 4 «m; f«» 27 j 8 (Ml 'J 31 1 09 4 12 ti 32 Allegheny ! 8 271 9 4-3 1 4 25. 6 43 A. M.|A.M P. M.|P. M.jP. M. SUNDAY TRAINS.—Leave Butler for Alh-gheny City and principal intermediate (Station* at 7:35 a. m., and 5:00 p. iu. NORTH. , WEEK DAYS ShanwhurK.. 7 11 9 12 11 37! 3 05 ... riAremont j 9 19 11 45; 3 13 .... Springdale .... -M» 11 59 3 :i0; f» .17 Tarentum 7 34j 9 39 12 tws 3 43 «i 4»i Natrona 7 39 9 43 12 131 3 51 «; 51 Butler Junction.. .arrive 7 4»*.' 9 50 12 23 4 OT> 7 Butler Junctioii leave 7 44# 9501225 4 1" 700 Saxonhurg 8 lOjlU 15 12 41* 4 311! 7 24 BUTLER arrive 8 30 10 38 1 17 5 Of. 7 50 A.M. A.M. P. M.;P. M.jP. M. SUNDAY TRAINS.—Leave Allegheny fity for But ler aud prinri|«tl intermediate ntutii»ii* at 7:25 a. m. and U:.Mi p. m. WEEK DAYS. FOR THE EAST. WEEK DAYS. P. M.-A.M.I IP. M P. M. 2JJS 0 25 lv Biri.r.ii arj 1 17 3 25 7 27 ar Butler Junction lv .... 12 25 3*j9o 7 4«> lv Butler Junction ar 8 30 12 08 3 35 j 7 49 ar Free port lv 8 28 12 06 3.39; 7 s;i! •• Allegheny Junction 44 81\12 01 351 B<4 ' 4 409 8 21 44 Paulton (Apollo) 44 7 53 11 32 4 Msl •• Saltr.hur* . 44 730 11 5 «k; 922 '• Blairsvllle 44 7on 1" 4«» 5 15 !) u Blairsville Intersection..." 52010 15 8 50:11 35 Alt.n.na 44 .... 8 <«» 1 no 1 :{ 10 " Ifarri«hurg * 4 3 10 4 3o| ♦; y\ " Philadelphia 44 .... 11 20 P. Mi P. M. A.M. P. M. On Sunday, train leaving Butler 7:35 a. in., connect# l<»r Harrishurg, Alt-K.ua aud Pliiliulelphia. Through trains for the east leave Pittsburg (Union Station), aw follows: Atlantic Express, daily 3:: TO A.M Pennsylvauiii Limited 44 7:15 * 4 Day Express. 44 7:30 44 Main Line Express, * ..8:00 " Philadelphia Express, ' 4StO P.M Eastern Express, 44 7:05 44 Fast Line, 44 8:10 44 Philad'a Mail, Sundays only 8:40 A.M For detailed information, address Thoa. E. Watt, Pass. Agt. Western District, Corner Fifth Avenue aud Smith field Street, Pittshurg, Pa. J B. HUTCHISON, J. R WOOD, General >|a»agnr. Gen'l Passr. Agent. ! L' The Place to Bny GAS COOK ING AND HEATING STOVES, GAS BURNERS AND FIX TURKS, HOSE, BATH TUBS, F.NAMEL AND IMPROVE WEISHGACH GAS vvkv** BURNER. W. H. O'BRIEN HON' 107 Er.st Jefferson St. BtL KEEPER S SUPPLIES - —§UCH AS Hives. Smokers. Biood Frames. Sections, Section Boxes, lirood and Surplus Founda- Tlie best goods at the lowest possible prices. James B. Murphy, Mercer St., we** End itutl . Pa. Sear K'atoefei/j,tCr cor/ ere. Practical Horse Shoer WILL ROBINSON, Formerly Horse Shoer at the Wi£k Jlouse has opened busi ness in a shop in ttie rear of the Arlington Hotel, where he will do Horse-Shoeing in the most approved style. TRACK AND ROAD HORSES I A SPECIALTY. BUTLER, PA., THUWSDAV, OCTOBER 7. l}ss>7 [Copyright, ißg«. by J. B. LlpplncoU Co.] CHAPTER IU. Picture to yourself, if the pigments on your palette are bright enough, a landscape blazing- with primary colors; stainless skies of vivid blue, n dazzling ribbon of white surf, red sandstone cliffs, and, in the foreground, a field of cloth of gold embroidered lavishly with millions of yellow poppies. Here, 24 hours later, I found the sanctuary, the home of the Gerards, a comfortable, red-tiled cottage, encom passed with broad verandas, lawns, shrubberies and groves of cypress and eucalypti. The faithful Greek, Demetrius. re " celtea WGT Uty—nrst—impressions of this remarkable man are worth record ing. In his physical aspect I could And no clew to his character, ne stood be fore me a colossus, impassive and im pressive, reminding ine, absurdly enough, of the Matterhorn as I saw it first from Zermatt. How sharply that grim peak pricked my fancy! And yet its profile alone was visible. The love liness of the lower slopes, the glory of gorg6 and glacier, the horror of crevasse and precipice, were shrouded with shadow, obscured by distance. I knew from hearsay what lay between me and the summit; but between the Greek and me, between experience and inexperience, was an abyss not lightly to be bridged. "Glad to see yon, sir," he said, re upeetfully. Thecg was no trace of a foreign accent. "I had my master's telegram, and your room is prepared." He led the way to a comfortablo apartment, simpijt' but admirably fur nished, and began to unstrap my valise. "Sit down," I said, abruptly. "I have something »f importance to tell you." I briefly recited my adventure with Burlington. Demetrius listened atten tively, his lower lip protruding, his heavy eyelids lowered. When I had finished he refrained from comment, but inquired politely as to the state of his master's health. I shook my head. "He is extremely nervous; almost completely broken airt nership, the former under protest. He didn't like me; but, recalling my own youthful antipathies to schoolmasters and those in authority, I easily forgave him; and, besides, he had a sister. The Greek, Demetrius, exercised a most po tent Influence upon tho lad, an influ ence, so far as I could judge, for good. Perhaps it was prejudice on my part, but I fancied that he avoided me. Cer tainly he evaded my questions. "Why," said I, "has Mr. Gerard fo cussed all his anxiety upon his son? He has a daughter." Th® Greek replied, slowly, weighing his words: "Mr. Gerard is not alarmed on Miss Gerard's account." "Strange, he never even mentioned har name to me." Demetrius bowed; his sphinx-like iii&twres betrayed neither surprise nor jinnoyance. J could not help admiring the fellow. Never had I met a bettei servant, nor one less servile. His dig nity was quite impressive. After all, I reflected, if he wished to emphasize the difference between us, that was his affair, and not mine. None the his confounded reticence piqued me con sumedlv. Miss Xancy, however, consoled me. A few days later the curio>itv of the witch bolted again. She liked tosit upon the veranda o>er looking the ocean. On her face was re flected the placidity of the waters; in her heart, I knew, was the restlessness of the tides. Indeed, there was a smack of the «a!tsea alMnit the girl, of the sea in all its moods and tenser. Her blood ebbed and flowed beneath the freslmst skin; on hor lips, with the glimmer of teeth white as foam between their curves, was the many-twinkling smile, in her eyes an enchanting shimmer. •One could swear that those same eyes would flash fiercely in time of storm and stress, and that the red lips, like breakers, would curl angrily. I hate a tepid temperament. "Mr. Livingston"—how softly the syl lables of my name dropped from her mouth! —"which do you prefer, action or inaction, peace or war?" "Peace, Miss Xancy, at any price. I push my little go-cart along the lines of least resistance." "1 thought men"—she emphasized the word —"preferred war." "Xowadays they leave that to wom en." "But the love of fighting, of adven ture, is natural to man?" "Strip a man," she cried, with a touch of scorn, "of the rags we call manners, take from him the deference which he pays to the opinion of society, and what do you find?" "Sometimes, a beast." "Ah!" She drew In her breath with a pretty sigh. "Sometimes, a god." "Does lie teach small boys?" she asked, demurely. "Confess, now, Mr. Livingston, you are something of a fraud. Vou ougl>t to be fighting—with vour pen, I mean; slaying monsters, iike Hercules; and instead you are—" "Talking to Omphale. There is time for everything." "Tell me" —she spoke coaxingly— "your true reason for coming here. Don't attempt to deceive me. i can dis tinguish truth f.-om falsehood." "What eyes you must have! How do you do it?" "It's very simple. Truth once seen is never forgot tea i the poor dear, you remember, wears no clothes —that's why she lives at the bottom of a well; btit falsehood is tricked out in the latest fushion." "And you have met truth face to face?" "I live with my mother." It was prettily said, but it set me to thinking; and thought, like falsehood, has many costumes in her wardrobe. Where did Miss Xancy learn to talk? Her mother, sweet, gentle soul, was no conversationalist; lier father, con found him, was a money-grabber. The girl must be still in her teens; but her shrewdness and wit amazed me. "Xo man," I observed, "incriminates himself. The reason of rm presence here must remain for the present at the bottom of the well. But beware; I have found out your besetting sin." She looked at me defiantly. "I don't bejieve it." "A morbid love of excitement." "Wretch! You have laid your finger upon a tender spot. Yes, I am fond of excitement. The deadly dullness of my life till—till quite lately has driven me nearly crazy. I have the dramatic in stinct strong in me. Heaven knows where I got it, but I can't be rid of it. And my dramatic instinct tells me that peaceful house, wn<*re rofr wonrti i*•(•«< i. expect it; and you, Mr. Livingston, are mixed up with this mystery. There, it's out at last." Poor child, how I pitied her! "Miss Xancy," I said, earnestly, "the wise old Greeks had a word which we translate wrongly bitter-sweet. It should be sweet-bitter, for the bitter ness comes last and remains. If you could realize how sweet and fragrant your present life is, you would be thank fully content. This is really fairyland. Jf vou only knew it, but the beauty of it will* never come home to you till you have left it." "Do you mean," she said, slowly, "that the gratification of my curiosity may drive me from Eden? Very well; I take the hint." At the end of the month Mrs. Gerard requested a private interview. Jler face, I remarked, wore a troubled expres sion, and she twisted her slender fingers, a sure sign of nervousness. "I perceive," she began, softly, "that you are exploring a new country, Mr. Livingston. The French call it le pays du tendre." I was completely taken aback. lam not a man who wears his heart upon his sleeve, and I had taken infinite pains to keep that unruly organ out of sight. "Your silence," she continued, "con firms my fears. Let me entreat you to turn back lie fore it is too late." "Turn back!" I ejaculated. "Mrs. Gerard, this is no walking tour. I am traveling—by express." "It is better to walk," she said, coldly. I could tell by her tone that she was provoked. "It is better to craw l," I replied; "but when a man is traveling sixty miles an hour it is dangerous to leave the train." "But you must leave the train —at once." "And break my neck—my heart, I mean." "Hearts do not break," she mur mured; "at least, not the hearts of men." "Mrs. Gerard, you are cruel. Have you anything against me?" "No, no; but Nancy is not, as—as you think, the daughter of Mr. Gerard. "You. Mr. LiTingston. nro mixed up la thl* mystery.'* Her father" —the last words were al most inaudible —"is Edgar Burling ton." I must have been blind not to have discovered this fact for myself. How much it accounted for, physically and intellectually! From him she inherited those brilliant eyes; from him, the power of speech, the torrens dicendi copla. And what else? I took the hand of the poor lady be tide me, und kissed it. "I love her," I whispered. "For her self, first, and, secondly, because she is your daughter." "Xancy," said Mrs. Gerard, in frozen tones, "can never marry. I have given her an education that is given to few I girls. She has abundant material for happiness outride of marriage, which at befit is to often, a failure. Her books. nor music, her absorbing interest in humanity, these must fill her lifr." "Why? Why?" "Her father." The fear stamped upon her fare twisted my heartstrings; but there was a quality in it conspicuously absent from the terror of Mark Gerard. This was no coward sentiment. The awful dread was not for self, but for others. "Her father, as you Know, is a dangerous madman; the taint of in sanity is in poor Nancy's veins." "I don't care a rap," I answered. "I love her." "Mr. Livingston, do you force me to tell the truth to Nancy?" "You could not be so cruel; and, be sides, I —l have no reason to suppose that she returns my love. I have taken no advantage of my position. I have —" "You must leave the cottage to-mor row." "Leave?" I stammered. The word stuck in my throat. We were sitting in the parlor. Mrs. Gerard, feeling that further conversa tion was intolerable, rose from her chair and walked slowly from tbe room. Through the window I caught a glimpse of her graceful figure as she pace*! down the garden path. Was Xancy destined to flit from my life in some such üb rupt fashion? Xot while I, Hugo Liv ingston, had life and limbs to pursue. I waited a couple of minutes, clicking her at the end of the walk, where a flight of steps led to the sands. She stood shading her eyes from the sotting sun, her glance straying southward. I noted, in the mid-distance, a man walk ing rapidly, probably Demetrius, for he was tall and well proportioned. Strangers frequently passed the house (the sands at low tide were >1 public highway); and I wondered vaguely what possible interest this pedestrian challenged. Mrs. Gerard ignored me entirely. She stared intently at the ap proaching man. I touched her arm. "Mrs. Gerard, I pity you profoundly; but if I am willing to t;ike the chances, if —*' "Ilush!" she cried, wildly. "In the name of Heaven, who is that?" She pointed dramatically at t.he figure striding swiftly along the sands. "Some st ranger," I murmured. "Mrs. Gerard, you are overwrought; let me take you back to the house." "It is he," she said, trembling. "It is Edgar Burlington. He has found me at last." [TO DE COXTIXUED.J Lore on thr \\ heel. "How did you find out that Charley ored you, Clara?" "I took a tumble when we were out bicycle riding."—Detroit Free Press. i'nlpHblv Fnlsr, "I have been told," said she, as they eat in a shady corner of the porch, "that you have rather a grasping disposi tion." .'ou don't believe it, do you?" "Dear me, no. I have never seen you exhibit the least sign of catching on." —lndianapolis Journal. A Dit of Experience. First- Charity Visitor—They cant be' so very poor. Second Charity Visitor —What makes you think so? First Charity Visitor—Why, they only keep three dogs.—Somerville Jour nal. Between the Aetn. She (who has seeu the play before) — His great scene is in the next act. He feels remorse for having killed the old man — having killed the rest of the oasit— Puck. How It Look* to Him. "Come up to my house to-morrow night," said Ilenpecque. "I'm going to celebrate my golden wedding." "Golden wedding! Why, man, you've only been married three years." "I know it; but it seems like 50; so everything is all right."—Tit-Hits. A Time Killer. Blinks —Summering in Loneliville, eh? I don't eee what you do there to pass the time. Jinks —Oh, time passes quickly enough when I think of the board I am —X. Y. Weekly. Xo Exception. Wife —It does seem hard when a wom an marries she has to take her husband's name. Husband —Well, she takes everythfng 'else he's got, why leave that out?— Judy. A Mistake Somewhere. Bobby (puzzled)—l thought God made everybody? Sunday School Teacher- —Why, he did, Bobby. Bobby—Well, anyway, pa calls sis a "tailor-made" girl.—N. Y. Journal. Extract*. "I love the scent of new-mown hay," He murmured to a girl one day; But she, without a thought of Jest, Said "Kusslan Violet suits me best." —Detroit 1- ree Press. ELECTRICALLY SPEAKING. "John, doesn't my bathing suit elec trify you?" "Yes; shocks ne, in fact."—N. Y. Herald. A Solution. This simple rule solves woman's whims- Forget it now you mustn't; The things she hasn't sot she wants. And those she has she doesn't. —Puck. Serlou*. 8he —Good gracious, George! run for the doctor. Baby has swallowed your latchkey. He —That's bad. It might cause lock jaw.—Up-to-Date. Why She Loves the Sea. Dora —Why does Miss Yellowleaf >vant to go to wawllof a sudden? Cora —She read that the captains of the transatlantic liDers made about 20 knots an hour.—'TownTopics. A Counter Irrltmn, "Were those cough drops beneficial?" "They worked like a charm. They have such a horrible taste that the chil dren have all stopped coughing."—Bos ton Traveler. Tlie Whole Thin ic. Mrs. Johnson —What palit cb de fowl does yo' laik l>es', pah son? Parson Mokely—l nebbah has my chicken cut up in pahts, Mrs. John sing.- -Judpe. Too Mnrh of n Good Thin if. "I can't see why you object to young i Softy. I'm .tire he is constant." j "Worse than that. He's perpetual." —N. Y. Truth. DlHrrrnrr In Durability. "It isn't ut all safe to judge by ap pearances," said the restless boy's fa ther. | "Yes,** replied the mother, "people ure very deceptive." I "And so nre inanimate objects. You'd , never think, merely judging' from ex- 1 ternal indications, that the heavy pair of shoes I bought that boy was only poing to wear for six weeks, while fcis fragile-looking Latin grammar will last him a lifetime."—Washington Star. Frlradi. "I suppose you got to be good friends with everybody on shipboard, going I over?" "Xo —" There was in her voice a thrill of re- ; gret; regret " —that resembles sorrow. As the mist resembles rain." "Xo," she answered, thus: "I trav eled with my husband."—Detroit Jour nal. The Wise Ylriftnia. Jj Their lamps are trimmed and burning. And so, of course, it ought To be supposed with safety that Their curling-tongs are hot. I —>&. T. Truth. WHY THEY DON'T SPEAK. t Mabel—Jack asked me to go to the opera with him. t Maud —That's strange. He asked me, g too. Mabel—Yes, I told him I would not go without a chaperon.—St. Louis Re public. Easy. "Where had the knight the stomachacheT" a "The answer is easy quite. He had It—there Is no mistake— In the middle of the knight." —Chicago Tribune. * Down with a Crash. Young Novelist—Ah, sir, I am highly flattered to hear that you take my book fc to bed with you and read it there. Old Scrumpy—Yes, I've been troubled g with insomnia for a long time, and I find one of your pages much better than any medicine the doctor can give me.— m Cleveland Leader. A Jut Claim. "Miss Grabbs declares her g-irl friends lj can't deny that her attachment to that li gentleman with a title was a case of -w love at first Right," "That's very true," replied Miss Cay- g enne. "She saw him first,"—Washing- I ton Star. Not His Faalt. Wife—You told ine that we would go a to the seashore every season after we were married. Husband —lAnd I would have kept my a promise at any cost had your father g known enough not to fail. Detroit Free Press. A Royal Iloyalty. —Tf von could own anv copy choosc —the most iraccesefu] play or tflo most successful novel? Spacer—Neither. I'd choose the moth er-in-law joke.—Brooklyn Life. Offered a Bargala. "Do you think it's true that every man has his price?" asked the heiress. "I'm sure I don't know," he answered thoughtfully, "but if you want a bar gain you needn't look any farther."— Chicago Post. Fact ami Fancy. Pretty Young Wife —Oh, my dear, this new hat is a dream—a perfect dream! Practical nusband—l wish to good- k nesa that this bill which came with It was also a dream! —Tit-Hits. Forgot Himself. ' "Our iceman must be very absent minded." "Has he failed to send in a bill?" "Xo; but this morning he left us a q lump of ice as big as a hailstone. Chicago Record. Uicoaratemeot. Cholly—And old Cashburner sent you those diamonds? There's no fool like an old fool, is there ? t Miss Frontrow—Xo. But you're not getting any younger, Cholly.—X. Y. ± World. J Thrifty. "Why does the doctor always go to Mrs. Fidget's as hard as he can drive? c "Because she is liable to get well be- j fore he g£ts there and that lessens hi* bill."—Detroit Free Tress. t Wonderful ProgrfM. Tom—De Ranter Longshanks, the actor, is making wonderful strides in ] his profession. « Dick—Yes, his friends say he can i cover six ties at a stride.—Up-to-Date. Aa I «nal. Spirit—ls my wife inside? St. Peter —Y'es. You will find her waiting for you at the head of the stairs. —X. Y. Truth. ' A Soggntloo. Mabel—l never know how to take Jack. ' Maud—What do you supp6se your arms are for? —Town Topics. ® Not Really Uvllg Then. Ella—Bella says that she has seen but SO summers. Etella—She Isn't counting the years before she liad awheel. —Judge. Too Had. "I'd Just like to see An/ man kiss me," 4 She said, and then deeply she sighed. 4 But although she was kissed. The seeing she missed For the reason that she was cross-eyed. —Philadelphia Inquirer. A CHOICE OFFERED. Walker —Is the boss in to-day? Sitter- -Which one do you wish to see, office boy or the typewriter? —Book- i t* > 1 N0.39 Jast la a Hint. "John," ehe #a*id, thoughtfully, "to morrow is the birthday of tli&t littl® Jones boy next door." "What of it?" be demanded. "Oh, nothing much," she replied; only I happened to recall that Mr. Jones pave our Willie • drum on hia birth day." "Well, do'you think I feei under any obligations to him for thsit?" be asked. Irritably. "Of course," she auswered, sweetly, "That's why I thought that perhaps you might want to give the Jones boy a big brass trumpet." "The moot resourceful woman In th« world!" he exclaimed, delightedly. And the Jones boy got the trumpet. —Chi- cago Tost. Cane for Alarat. "I am very much worried," said tha professional joke writer. "I had a joke ready to scud, an«l that same day it ap» pea red." "It's only the loss of one joke," said his wife, consolingly. "It's not that. Another man ha/« come icross the same joke book."—Yellow Kid Magazine. The Real laaalt. "Do I understand you to say, pris oner, that you knocked him down, be cause he called you a dirty liar?" i c" v jT . J h ©o\jjdn'V prided myself on more than anything else it is my cleanliness." Chicago Tribune. Similar Experiences. "Did you ever run for a ferryboat Dnly to find that it was coming in?" "Oh, yes, and at the time I was court ing my wife and thought I was winning out in a hard fight she and all her rela tives were combined in sn effort to make mjl escape impossible/'^—Phila delphia Xorth American. At tke Bowery Ball. Mickey (a rejected suitor)—Aw, say! I just heard Mamie Kelly say dat her face was her forchlnt Chimmie (also rejected and likewise ungallant)—Dat's right! If she hasn't got a dough face I dunno who has—see ? —X. Y. Truth. Wky, Indeed! "John," said Mrs. Darley. "Well?" "The paper speaks of wild cat insur ance companies." "What of it?" "I can't imagine why anybody should wish to insure wildcats,"—X. Y. World. Traly Great. Ethel—Who was that man you just bowed to? Penelope—That was Dobson, the great composer. Ethel—A composer, did you say? Penelope Y'es; he manufactures soothing sirup.—Judge. Optional. "Am I to take this medicine internal ly or apply it externally?" a&ked the lady customer of the drug clerk who was filling her prescription. "Whichever pleases you, madam; the stuff is perfectly harmless."—Detroit Free Press. Pnttlas It Mildly. "Do you mean to say that the sen iors were bought?" "Oh, no; I wouldn't make any such charge as that. All I meant to insinu ate was that they were influenced by ne gotiable arguments."—Detroit News. Gastronomies. Don't abuse the summer season; All la ordered for the best: When the watermelon suffers Welsh rabbit nUk rait. JUST TUB THMfO. She —I like the hammock Do you warrant it? Clerk—lt's built for two, miss.—Bt.\ Louis Globe-Democrat. Like a Unman. The mouse that smelled the cheese And slips Into the housewife's trap. Soon finds that he's like moat of thtss Who think they've struck a snap." —Pittsburgh Krwa. Heart rend lav. Mrs. Bondage (despairingly) —I* there no hope? Dr. Plaintnik (solemnly)— None in the world. He will recover.—X. Y« Journal. Excellent Chances. Tom—Why do you think youf chances for becoming president of the United States are good? Jock —I was born dn a log cabin. Up to-Date. What It Wonld Make. Teacher—Willie, if your father gave you ten cents and then took away four and gave them to your brother, what would that make? Willie—Trouble. —Y'ole Record. Proof of Affection. She—Jack, do you really love me? He—Great heavens, girl! Didn't I write you a letter when the thermom eter registered 102? Chicago Record. Bat Slightly Different. "George describes the girl he is en gaged to as a perfect vision." "Yes. And hia sister just says that she is a perfect sight."—Odds and Ends. Real Vletlas. "Your husband seems to be a victim of the tobacco habit." "Xo, I'm the victim. He thoroughly enjoys it."—Topeka Capital. Xothlnar la It. "I received a letter yesterday from a lawyer who has discovered that I am one of the heirs to a large English es tate." "Did he inclose a stamp?" "Xo." "Then I don't see how you can make anything out of that."—X. Y. Journal. It Made No Difference. "Is that your wife on a bicycle?" "It is." "I thought you said that you would never permit her to ride one." "I don't permit it, but what difference do you suppose that makes to her?" — Chicago Post. Rather t'njaat. Young Mother (on the train) —Mom- my's—itty—pitty peshus lammy— angel dirlie desdetweetestinga tevyived, atsutitis. Old Gent (seat in front) —And they blame a man for cursing the mother tongue!— Judge. Depressing laflneaeea. "I never let Henry complain and go on about the hot weather." "now do- you stop him?" "I remind him how he used to fuss about the coal bills last winter."—De troit Free Press. <