VOL* xxxiv
Sacrifice Sale Continued
Our stock still too large
Must be reduced.
We will therefore continue to sell all
goods advertised in last week s circulars
at the 4 day sale prices with the excep
tion of Clark's 0. N. T. thread; it will
sell at 4c per spool or 45c per dozen
We have reduced some line Zephyr
Ginghams and Dimities, Organdies to <i
O 7 O
lower price than prevailed last week.
These goods must be sold
We are determined not to put away a
single yard of
Summer wash goods
A cool lawn dress at 4c per yard,
others finer. 10 per cent, off' on all
Standard paper patterns sold during July
MRS. J. E ZIMMERMAN.
This store will close at 6 o'clock every evening, except Saturday, from July ist
to September ist, and on Monday, July sth, at 12 o'clock, noon.
ARE YOU IN NEED OF
LOTHING?
IF SO, CALL ON
T. H. BURTON,
120 SOUTH MAIN ST., BUTLER, PA.
P™ I fi. F. KECK,
*| MERCHANT TAILOR.
Wbcn we make yon a garment—or a suit
a/i" —>' ou ma y be sure that every st'tch in it
is perfectly made. Our especial pride is
in tlie quality of our tailoring, we pay liigh
wages and employ'first-class tailors, so we
get the highest grade of garments and you
• know our prices are lower than others,
jj/fc and wc keep the largest stock of goods to
o» select from. Call and examine for your-
self, FITS GUARANTEED, remember the
G F KECK Merchant Tailor,
" " 142 N. MAIN ST.. BUTLER, PA.
i. S. YOUNG,
Tailor, Goods.
Summer heat makes the problem of lookingfdressy a hard one.
' Bat we've solved it; and for once economy, comfort and fashion go hand in haud
Our summer suits are finer in fabric, nobbier in pattern and more stylish in cut
lum ever before, they fit your curves and yet they're not sweat bath outfits. The
prices may surprise you.
J. S. YOUNG, Tailor.
ioi S. MAIN St., - - - BUTLER, PA
The Wise Grocer.
Will try to induce his customers to buy the very best gro
ceries in the market, because by so doing he makes a sale
that will give satisfaction, and it is the pleased and satis
fied customer who builds up the grocer's business. We
have some of the very best goods obtainable which we
sell as close as any house in the county. Leave us your
order and we guarantee satisfaction.
•| The Butler Produce Co.,
C L MOORE, Prop'r
J3O W. Jefferson St., Butler, Pa.
IF YOU GET IT AT THE BUTLER PRODUCE
T'S FRESH.
YOU ARE WAITING
For your prescription don't fall to look
over our line of perfumes, we have re- /If
ceived some very fine ones lately, and //-J !'
will be pleased to have vou examine \ 1 0?O
**"• '
We also have a very la.ge assortment *-
of tooth brushes made expressly for us A n » / VT^
wb" h bear our stamp, these brushes y
we guarantee and request the return of
prove unsatisfactory. - ■ rJSJhtb^m-
Vou may need something for yoi}r _ .—_ __ • *1; i ■ ——•
chapped hands and face, and if so we • '/) yj
recommend Cydoninni Cream as a fine '/
toilet preparation.
REDICK & GROHM ANN
DRUGGISTS.
PEOPLES PHONE. 114. BUTLER PA
THE BUTLER CITIZEN.
Liver Ills
i Like biliousness, dyspepsia. headache, Co,, ti-
I f-ation, sour stomach, indigestion are promptly
; cured by Hood's I'ills. They do Uieir work
Hood's
| eaiiiy and
Best after dinner pills. 111 (2
D 5 cents. All druggists. ■ ■■ ■
Prepared hy C. I. Hood & Co.. Lowell, Mass.
1 The onl»~ PUI to take with Hood's Sarsapar'lla.
1
This I» Your Opportunity.
On receipt of t;-:i cents, cash or stamps,
a generous .. r.j- ■' will be mailed of the
most popular .-rh and Hay lever Cure
(Ely's Cream 1 ti i sufficient to demon
strate the gri.v i: --ita of the remedy.
ELI BKOT3IEES,
s>i \Yu.rr. u St , New York City.
Iter. John P.eid. Jr., of Great Falls,Mout.,
recommended Ely's Cream Balm to me. I
can emphasize ) • -'atement, "It is a posi
tive cure for catarrh if used as directed." —
Rev. Francis W. Poole, Pastor Central Pres.
Church, Helena, Mont.
Ely's Cream Ba!m is the acknowledged
cure for catarrh and contains no mercury
nor ally injurious drug. Price, 50 cents.
RAILROAD TIME TABLES
P. li. & 1,. K. H. It.
Schedule of Passenger Trains in effect
Ma} - 30, 1897. Butler time
Trains leave Butler as follows: Con
neaut Lake Express 7:25 a. m., Erie
Mail 9:55 a. in. and Greenville Accom
modation 5:05 p, m. Trains arrive as
follows: Conneaut Lake Express 9:55
p. in., Erie Mail 2:50 p. m. and Green
ville Accommodation 9:20 a. in.
.SUNDAY TRAINS.
Conneant Lake Express leaves at 7:25
a. ni. and at 9:55 p. ni.
Train leaving at 7:25 makes connec
tion with Erie Ry. at Shenango. west;
train leaving at 9:55 makes connection
with N. Y. &P. at Mercer and with
Erie at Shenango, east; train leaving at
5:05 makes connection with N. Y. & P.
at Mercer, north and south.
A. B. CROUCH,
Ticket Agent.
PLTTSBUKG & WESTERN
*- Railway. Schedule of Pas
senger Trains in effect May 16,
1897. BUTLER TIME.
Depart. I Arrive.
Allegheny Accommodation <» 'i"> A.M !> 17 A.m
Allegheny "Flyer" 815 " 9 IJ2 "
Ne* < 'mrtle Acconirmxiation 1 1 V> p..v !♦ 17 "
Akron Mail 8 15 A m 7 i-.M
Allegheny AccomnuxUtion 10 05 " 12 18 4 *
Allegheny Expre** 305 p.M 4 55 "
Allegheny "Flyer" 3 05 "
Chicago Kxprew 3 40 " 12 18 44
Allegheny Mail 540 44 8 o<> 44
Alleghmv "Flyer" i 7 MCI 44
Ell wood Accommodation 5 44 7 44
Chicago Limited 540 44 017 A.M
Kaix- und Hnult'onl Mail !» 32 A.M 5 90 P.M
Clarion Acconimodutioit. 3 15 P.M if 55 A.M
Foxburg Accommodation 710 44 805 44
.SUNDAY TRAINS.
Allegheny Express 8 15 A.M !> 32 44
Allegheny Accommodation r > 4o P.M 4 55 P.M
New Cast It* Accommodation 8 15 A.M 7 03 44
Chicago Kxprww... 340 P.M 4 55 44
Allegheny Accommodation 7 W) 44
Train* going north al 9:32 a. m. and 3:15 p. ni. make
close connection at Ftixbnrg for i*>int* on Allegheny
Valley Uy.
For through tickets t<» all ]M>int* in tin- west, north
west or outhuint apply to
A. li. CROUCH. Agent,
R. 15. REYNOU'S. Sup t, Butler, Pa.
Foxburg, I*u. C. W. BASSKTT.
A. (J. !». A.. Allegheny, Pa.
PENNSYLVANIA
WFSTEN CENNSYLV'AMA DIVISION.
. is I t r MAY 17,1897.
SOI Til. WEEK DAYS
. -i. A.M. A.M. !'. M.J. M
HI'TLKU Le.,v« _• S II 15. 2
- , '..in: Vrtj;- ♦. i 825 11 38 3 52H
Hu.ler .hiitrti »u.. " 7 j7 8 4X 12 02 3 25 5 53
Butle> .: ».«« .i m, ... •• ■ 7 .;•» 848 12 17| 3 2-". 5 5.3
N'atrotm .Ariiv . W 8 5G| 12 2."» 3 35 I. '>2
I Tarciitum 7 42 9 02 12 ii" 3 4"! «l r~
| SpriugilaJ.- :.i> 9 11 jl2 41 i .1 52
Clarenniut 9 25 1 4 "ii fti 27
j Sha»iMhu»g ?< mi 931 1 09 I 12 C, .52
i Allegheny l' 7 9 4::. 123 1 ii 13
A M.iA.MJP. M. P. M P. M
SUNDAY TRAINS.—I. ve Buthrf.i All..:htii>
[ CitT and priu i)<ul intcrnu aate stati <u> at 7.■ i-~» a. m.,
and 5:00 p. m.
NORTH. . WEEK DAYS
A. M A.M. A. M P. M. P. M
Alb'gheny City leave 7 ««» 9 mill 2'» 2 ■*>•« «'» 1*»
Sh«n-hurg 7 11 9 12 11 37 3 05 ...
Clareniout 9 19 11 45 i 3 13
Spriugilalc | 9 30 11 59 3 3o «ii 37
Tarentuni 7 34j 939 12 (•>; 343 4*.
Natrona 7 \'X- 9 43 12 1 ; 3 51 ii 51
Butler June.ion.. arrive 7 4»'.j 9 5o 12 4 05 7 0.»
Butler Junction leave' 7 4«l 950 12 25j 4 10; 7
Saxoubiirg 8 10;10 15.12 49! 4 3«). 7 24
BUTLER arrive 8 :U1 10 38 1 17» 5 OT>; 7 50
A M. A.M. P. M.|P. M.IP. M.
SUNDAY TRAINS —Leave Allegheny City for But
ler and piinciiNtl intermediate stations at 7:25 a. in. and
9:30 p. in.
WKEK DAYS. FOR THE EAST WEEK DAYS.
IV M. A.M.} I». M. P. M.
235 i> 25; Iv BUTLER ar 1 17
3 25 7 27 ar Butler Junction Iv .... 12 2.*>
3 3<» 7 4«» lv Butler Junction ar 8 'in 12 <>B
3 35 7 49 ar Fiveport lv 8 28 12 00
339 7 53, 44 Allegheny Junction 44 82412 01
351 8 i>4. * 4 Leecnburg 44 8 09'11 49
409 821 44 Paulton (Apollo) 44 753 11 32
435 8 ")lj 44 Salti«burg 4k 73011 09
5 0C» 922 44 Blairsville 44 700 lo 4<»
515 9 •• Blairsville Intersection... 44 52010 15
850 11 :J5 " Altoomi 4 - .*... H <MI
100 3 1(1 44 Harrisburg 4 * .... 310
4 30 « 23 44 Philadelphia 44 : .... 11 2o
P. M P. M. 'A. M P. M
On Sunday, train leaving Butler 7:35 a. in., connects
tor Harrisburg, Altoona and Pliila«lelphia.
Through trains for the east leaue Pittsburg (Union
Station), as follows:
Atlantic Express, daily 3:30 A.M
Pennsylvania Limited 44 7:15 44
Day Express, •• 7:30 44
Main Line Express, 44 8:00 44
Philadelphia Express, 44 4:: JO p.M
Eastern Express. 44 7:<Y> 44
Fast Line. 44 ............. . . u
Philad'a Mall, Sun*liiys only 8:40 A.M
For detailed Information, address Thos. E. Watt, Pass.
Agt. Western District, Corner I'ifth Avenue and Smith
field Str»-«'t. Pittsburg, Pa.
J. B. HUTCHISON, j. R. WOOD,
General Manager Gen'l Passr. Agent.
The Place to
GAS;COOK
ING AND H HATING STOVES,
GAS BURNERS AND FIX
TURES, HOSE, BATH TUBS,
ENAMEL AND
IMPROVED WELSHBACH m
P U h ?? r f|,
VIH O'BRIEN iON
107 East Jefferson St.
BEE KEEPER S SUPPLIES
SUCH AS
Illves, Smokers. llrood Frames, Sections,
Section Box«*s. Brood and Surplus Founda
tions.
Tho lx 4 st goods at tbc lowest possible
prices.
James B. Murphy,
Mercer St., West End, Butler, Pa.
Near Kamerer'a Grocery Store.
BUTLER PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST H>.
A DELAYED LETTER.
Lydia Spencer had never seen it so hot
or dreary at Canaan Corners before. Tho
blistering July day was drawing to a close.
She was postmistress and store clerk at
the Corners. Day after day for years sho
hud sorted over the stage mails, tho county
papers and the letters. Tho day had been
a busy one In tbo store, and to add to the
confusion Lydia bad recently bought a
new set of boxi*s to take the place of tho
Cingy little portholes which for 25 years
bad done continuous service under differ
ent postmasters.
A carpenter had worked that afternoon
tearing away the old case and generally
overhauling the postollice end of the store.
Lydia was between 40 and 60. "Nigh
| on to 45, bein two year older'n my boy
1 Jerry," old Mrs. Davidgo said to her
friends when Lydia's age was discussed.
"But, law! she don't look it, an she don't
act it. Them tow Leaded girls never look
ez old ez they really le.
Tho carpenter eto;; td hammering and
' come to where the | uL ress was fan
; ning herself, lie v.a- shuttling awkward
ly half a C. Zen leltus, ytilow with Hge
; and somewhat r;.t eaten.
"See he re, I.ytUJy. ..re ilnse any good?"
asked he, holding out tho letters. "I found
! 'cm down 1 I:!ncl the wainscoting. I
s'pi.se they're Uist tr-. h what got brushed
| aside an no account whatever."
The pdstmistr* ; of Canaan Corners
i took the lett. rs with L«:t little show of in
terest. People wiro always running to
her with trillcs and asking her unneces
sary questions.
Twenty five ymr*! Yes. it l ad been just
that long since she had seen John Buttor
worth —since ho gave her a lover's look
and then, cheerily assuring her that they
would soon meet ag'.ln, bad gone to New
York.
Their letters had been earnest and full
of feeling, and finally he wrote asking licr
if she would marry him. telling her that
he had not been successful in business as
■yet, but that if she said "Yes" he wonld
come back to Canaan Corners, and thoy
would go to Chicago.
Bravely had she penned a favorable an
swer, and then she waited. Ah, the dying
of a great hope!
How tenaciously it clings to life! How
anxiously she awaited tidings from John
Butterworth! But none came. The sum
mers came and went. Twenty-flvo years
ago, and sho had been thinking of John
Butterworth that day!
"Looks cz if rats had chawed 'em some,
don't it?" asked tho carpenter as Lydia
stepped closer to,the window to iDspect tha
musty letters. Tho very first one of the
lot gave her senses a shock—John Butter
worth, Bull's Head Hotel, Bowery, N. Y.
City."
Tho ml sun turned black. The Canaan
Corners postofflce began spinning around
and bobbing up and down. A hurricane
seemed to catch hor and dash her head
against a distant cllit
"There, there, Miss Lyddy," said the
big carpenter, fanning her with his straw
hat. "The hoat's been too much fur yo, I
guess."
Trembling liko a child, sho once moro
looked at tho letter —her own letter of ac
ceptance—plighting her troth for better or
for worse, through evil and good report.
It seemed to ber as if her heart would
burst in agony. Sho knew now why John
Butterworth had never como back. She
had appeared to him as unwilling to share
his fortunes.
Lydia Spencer was a firm woman. In
justice to herself she determined to make
an effort to reach John Butterworth with
the belated letter.
It had no postmark. Taking the mark
er, she removed tbo figures "U4" and sub
stituted "09."
Then, writing a note to the proprietor
of tho Bull's Ileud hotel, New York city,
sho told him to forward the letter to Chi
! cago. Nervously she let it fall into the
gaping mouth of the mallbag. Tho stago
took it on Its way that night.
Two weeks later a gray haired man, one
of Chicago's leading cnpltnlists, Was ono
morning opening his mail. He came to a
yellowed envelope which had been for
warded from New York. It boro several
rubber stamp marks, and a Chicago post
oflico clerk had writton on it:
"Try Stfl Dearborn."
"Send Jack in," said John Butterworth
to his head clerk.
".Taik, my boy," said tho father in a
low voice uud nervously, "read this old
letter which has been 25 years in reaching
me.
"Jack," continued tho elder after his
request had been complied with, "you will
have to postpone your vacation. I'm go
ing to tako ono at Cauaan Corners, N. Y.
I never expected to marry again after your
dour mother's death, my boy, but if tho
writer of that letter Is alive and willing
you'll havo a new mother insido of two
weeks."
The Canuan Corners stage one evening
a fow days later oarried a gray haired
straLgor.
"Ye'll find Lyddy at the postofflce," said
the driver. "She's postmistress, an every
ono knows Lyddy."
Everything was still in the postofflce
when John Butterworth entered. Look
ing through tho glass case, he saw a gold
en haired woman, her face oloso to the ta
bletop. She was resting her averted face
on her fortwirm and sobbing like a child.
"Lydia," said John Butterworth as he
took ber in hlsurmsand raised her, "Lydlo,
sweetheart, I didn't get the letter till three
days ago in Chicago. I'm so old and gtay
now I suppose you're sorry I got it at all,
eh?"
Sho looked up quickly, smiling through
her tears. Her blushing, radiant faoe
didn't look as if she was sorry.—Exchange.
No Respocter of Persona.
When Admiral do Horsey at Port Royal
was ono night returning to his flagship
alcne, his way to the boat led across tho
barrack square. A black sentry of ono of
tho West India regiments halted him at
the gate with, "Who goes dar?" Great
was the admiral's annoyance to find ho
had neglected to get the password. "That's
all right," he said carelessly, hoping to
overcome the man's scruples by indiffer
ence. "You know who I am." "Dunno
know nobody, sar," replied tho nigger
pompously. " You oan't go in dar." "Why,
I'm Admiral de Horsey!" "Well, you
oan't go in," was the reply. "I don't care
if you's Admiral do Donkey, I don't."—
Household Words.
A Famous Soug Rewritten.
Edmund S. Holbrook of Chicago has re
written "Tho Star Spangled Banner," in
order, as he says, to correot the many de
fects which he finds in the original. Key's
version, ho thinks, "is burdened with too
much reference to a locality and the affairs
of a day in midhlstory," and ho has rem
edied all this by "extending tho spirit of
tho poom over a wider field and limiting It
to matters of generul importance which
Will obtain for all time."—Exchange.
THE COCKADE.
"Mon Diou, Mme. Manchabelle, why did
you wear such a long face in t-fae palace of
the doges? Did Tamagno's acting affect
you so seriously?
"It is true, the Republican candidate
won in tho Eighth arrondissement, but
how could that possibly interest you?"
"How, M. Pompon? You ask Jiow it
could possibly interest mo, who hiF/o lived
on terms of intimacy with princes and
tarons, who cherish the tender recollec
tions that, tho Emperor Napoleon 111
pinched my chin when I was playing 'Gl
selal' I would havo given my most valued
mementos to have elected tho Conserva
tive, nnd if ho WM not it is the
fault of my daughter, Juiifth, and her in
fernal cockado!"
"The import of your words is somewhat
nebulous, worthy lady. Tell mo tho story
of the infernal cockado."
"Well, last year Judith, put out at not
being able to find her carriage at the con
clusion of the racos, wrote to M. Leptne,
tbo p?ef<ot of the police, for one of those
green tickets, called 'cut the lines,' which
allow carriages to take up their position
near the grand stand. M. Lepine sent no
answer."
" You must excuse him, Mme. Mancha
belle. He is very busy."
"But coming homo she had an idea."
"Ah sho had an iduatl Really!"
"Sho had noticed that at the 11 o'clock
mass at St. Philippe du Roule a certain
carriage took precedence of all others and
stood wherever it pleased, simply beta use
the coachman wuro a trieolored cockade iu
his hat. Upon inquiry she learned it was
the coupe of tho wife of the
Mme. Felix Faure. 'Goodness! This is
easy !' said Judith to herself. I will dee
orate my coachman, Baptiste, with a tri
eolored cockade.' "
"It was a flash of genius!"
"Wo sent Baptiste's hat to tho presi
dent's batter in the Faubourg St. Honore.
and it came back with a superb trieolored
cockade on it at the price of t> francs."
"A mere trifle!"
"It proved a cheap investment from the
very first. We went wherever we wanted.
People were always taking ofT their hats
to us. I graciously bowed back In return.
lam accustomed to It. I was born so
close to a throne that I was just as much
at my ease as though I was sitting in my
armchair in tho Hue de Provence. Tho
police, the soldiers —everybody—luado way
for us, and Judith's coupe stopped even
before the gate at tho races, which is pro
hibited to everybody else. Unfortunately
there is always jealousy to be reckoned
with. Little Chignon, the third cory
| phee, who came in a cab, said one day:
| "'I would liko to know why that old
j thing can go where we can't!'
" 'Why,' said tho policeman, 'that ii the
wifo of the minister of public works with
her daughter.'
" 'The devil it is! It is old woman
Manchabelle of the opera and her oSspring.
I know her well. We live in the samo
house.'
"I don't know what theguardian of tho
peace responded, but some days later Ju
dith was sent for by the coiunilssalro of
police of tho Rue d'Astorg, who told ber
she would have to suppress the trieolored
cockade or suffer administrative penalty."
"Did Judith yield?"
"Yield, M. Ponifon! You do not know
us. We have a combative temperament!
I said to my daughter, 'Go and see the cel
ebrated advocate of the court of appeals,
Ca'sar Mnrius, and he will adviso you
what to do.' Then Judith put on a blue
serge gown, tho body trimmed with gui
pure; for a hat, a t( ;ue trimmed with
t lark laco and two gray feathers, a quite
fashionable costume, matching well with
the coupe and Baptiste's cockade. In a
short time she was in the Hue Part alls a
the distinguished lawyer's. She entered
his private cilice and laid bare"—
"This is tecoming interesting."
"She laid baro the facts, M Pompon.
Maitre Ciesar Murlus, very much amused
at the recital, consulted tho code, tho po
lice ordinances and tho old revolutionary
decrees, then said:
"Mademoiselle, thero exists in Paris a
custom according to which, up to tho
present, the trieolored cockade has been
reserved for the chief of the state minis
ters, marshals of France and a few high
administrative officials, but in truth it is
only a custom. The trieolored cockade is
the national cockade, and there is no good
reason why it should not be worn by all
Frenchmen. However, I will look into
the matter further. Come to seo me again
—often, very often. We will talk about
your cockade."
"And did Judith go often to seo Maitre
Cesar Marius?"
"To be sure. She was obliged to follow
his advice, was she not? During these
periods of consultation, sometimes quite
protracted, the coupe remained In front of
the distinguished advocate's door, exciting
the curiosity of the street loungers, per
suaded that a moment later they were go
ing to seo the minister of foreign affairs or
the president himself, but their disappoint
ment was not so great when thoy saw
Judith come out, and they generally greet
ed the Conservative play actress with looks
of approval.
"On the day before the election all the
| walls were covered with this red poster:
I'Warning! Citizens, you aro deceived!
Maitre Cesar Marius, who covets the herit
age of the honorable M. Riant and who
wants to re-»6tablish himself with tho
Conservative party, has sold out to t>ll ■
government. It is notorious that for tho
last month he has been receiving minis
terial visits, and the minister is shameless
enough to leave his carriage stand in front
of the candidate's door. Let him deny it
if he can?'
"Frankly, Maitre Marius could not say
to tho voters: 'lt was not the minister who
came to seo me. It was the little Mancha
belle.' He is too gallant a man for that.
Consequently thero was a division among
the Conservatives, the votes were scattered
and wasted, and the Republican candidate
was olected. That Is the reason why I
have tears in my eyes, M. Pompon. Oh,
these politics!"—Cinoinnati Post.
Why He Hesitated.
Why does this man stand upon the pave
ment trembling with terror, afraid to enter
his own home?
Listen and I will tell you:
This afternoon at 8 o'clock he received a
letter from his bunk, asking him to step
reund and pay a note that was due. He
scribbled the following answer upon a slip
of paper:
"Can't possibly do it. Got to meet an
other little thing this afternoon that won't
be put off."
About the same time a messenger boy
brought him a note from his wife, asking
him to meet her at his office at 4 to go
with her to the dentist's.
Of course he got tho answers mixed, and
he is wondering whether he had better at
tempt an explanation or set out for Aus
tralia.—Strand Magazine.
A SEEIOUS JOKE.
Frank Quinton was a practical chair
maker. Receiving a visit from a couple
of old friends, he took thom to the theater,
and tho next morning went to his store,
which was so full of stock that thero was
but little office spaco left in his sales
rooms. A small desk, a couple of chairs
and a small, neat lounge, comprised its
furniture.
On tho morning after their visit to the
theater Frank, without stopping in the
nffice, passed hastily into the workrooms to
see that his hands wore all employed, and
in distributing his orders he was dotained
probably an hour or more. In tho mean
time Mrs. Quinton, their residence being
near, having noticed, of course, his late
unusual frivolity and being disturbed In
feeling by his late return tho night before,
and now his delay to return to his break
fast, concluded to play the amiable escort
to her liege lord to his morning repast.
When Frank therefore returned from
tho workshop, ho encounter® I his young
wifo with slight surprise awaiting him in
bis cozy little office. Seated in one of the
chairs, sho looked dubiously, with no little
feminine sternness, toward the lounge and
then up ot Frank, as he stood trying to
smile pleasantly in the doorway.
These first pangs of jealousy were too
much for the before unsuspicious nature
of the happy little wife, and the fawnlike,
loving creature, unable longer to maintain
the stern front she had hastily assumed,
her feelings now gavo way and sho cried:
"Oh, Frank! I did not think this of you I"
"What, Minnie" What has happened?"
he inquired, puzzled by her appearance
and words, not yet having seen the cause.
Again her feelings surged into another
channel, and, dashing her tears aside, she
rose to her feot. and, pointing to a num
ber of pieces of comb scattered round
and over tho lounge, said: "Oh, Frank,
how can you assume such an air of inno
cence, and, standing there, ask mo what
has happened? Yon have had—oh, false
one, this is too much, and this, soo hero—
evidence still more, Frank, of your per
fidy! See, what is this?" tho wronged ono
exclaimed as she seized from the floor,
near tho head of tho lounge, a largo roll of
hair, nicely arranged and netted, ready to
adorn tho well formed caput of any hand
some young lady.
"That?" said Frank slowly, for the first
time attempting a reply. "Well, really,
my dear, that seems to lie an article of
feminine headgear—an article, Minnie,
Minnie, with which you are better ac
quainted than I—a chignon, or that other
arrangement of beautiful design for female
adornment—l cannot now think of tho
name.''
"Frank Quinton, this is too much—to
play me false and then inafco light of it!
This human hair, these broken -ombs.
that lounge and the confusion of things in
this office all speak too loudly, sir, of tho
base manner In which you passed last
night away from home."
"Indeed, Mii;ni», as you say, ibis is too
lunch. I began to fei I that you almost or
quite believe that a fact which your man
ner and mood this morning seem to indi
cate. Last night I was at tho theater.
Must I I ring and Wt ndell to prove
my whereabouts'- No, Minnie. Vou would
not havo mo do that 1 "
"Your first business on hand today, Mr.
Quinton, is to clear up, if at all possible,
these appearances that sjeak so clearly
against you, or my course shall be for di
vorce." ,
"Weil, there, Minnie, that caps the cli
max! Come, let us to breakfast. I'm
deuced hungry. But broken 'combs,'
lounge and 'hair' are enough—ugh—to
take from u man all appetite. save, perhaps,
to quarrel, and thai, you know, Minnie, I
will not do, but I snail do my best, Min
nie, to clear It up to you in that light."
Breakfast partaken of in silence, but
not without some pain experiencd by each,
Frank resolved on tho course now to be
taken. Poor Minnie, unable to finish her
morning meal, again broke down and left
the table weeping.
On returning to the office Frank's first
course was to gather up the broken frag
ments of combs scattered there and lay
theiu out carefully on his desk. Each
piece fits its fellow, and together, complete,
form just one dozen small hairpins or
combs, as he bad suspected. Yes, it was a
triek, but tho joker had overshot tho mark.
The trick was overdone—too xnany combs
for tho reasonable care of only ono femi
nine head. Besides, tho package or wrap
per from which they wero taken was
found. It was therefore with no little
gladness that the generous and honest
Frank Quinton hastened to eharo his
j transport with his weeping wife.
But long and labored was tho argument,
: even with all the direct evidence he
could produce, which he was compelled
to present to the doubting wife, so deep
were the insidious inroads of the jealous
pangs suddenly aroused by these singular
ly combined appearances in her husband's
office. How true is it, as the bard lias
said, "Trifles light as air are to the jeal
! ous confirmation strong as proofs of holy
writ!" Indeed it was several weeks ere
the earlier confidence of the trusting Min
nie was fully restored in tho breast of the
unhappy wife.
The young man who practiced tho joke
without tho least intention of injury came
forward at length and cleared up the mat
ter to the satisfaction of all, but, though
forgiven, he is haunted with such a ftel
ing of deepest regret that be says ho will
nover forgive himself for thus unwittingly
injuring a near and dear friend. Ho has
learned in this a life lesson, never to trille
with the afifeotionsof another. —New York
News.
Did Their Work.
A Chicago novelist, who has recently
been pressed by his publishers for tho con
cluding chapters of a story, says The
Times-Herald, sent his wife and children
into thu country in order to secure a chance
to work undisturbed. Tho first night ho
was alone he settled down to write. Sud
denly the roomers In the flat below his be
gan a terrible racket. At last, when for
bearance ceased to be a virtue, the author
went into the Railway and accosted a man
who was carrying an armful of things out
of the lower flat. "Hello!" he exclaimed.
"What in thunder are you trying to do
down thero anyway?" "Don't worry,"
replied the fellow on the landing below.
"We're doing the best we can." "This is
no joke, I tell you. I can't do my work
properly so long as you act liko this."
"We can't do our work properly either,"
answered the mover, with a laugh, "un
less you go buck into your room now and
leave us alone." The novelist retired Into
his flat, closed the door and began to
write. A half hour Inter he was suddenly
aroused by tho loud clanging of a pollco
imtrol wagon's bell. A wagon load of blue
coats stopped in front of tho buildiuc I'ho
flat below had been stripped clean by bur
glars during tho temporary absence of the
family at tho theater.
BOWSER AND HIS BAR
AMATEUR GYMNASTICS PROVE EX
CITING IF NOT BENEFICIAL.
Mr. Bowser Believes Ills Arms and L»p
Are Withering anil Begins a Coarse of i
Exercise —••Skinning the Cat" ail Aet Ho
Is Not l'p On.
"What's all this truck you had sent up
hero this afternoon?" askod Mrs. Bowser
as her better half camo home to dinner the
other evening.
He replied that ho would explain after
he had satisfied his appetite, and when
they arose from the table ho romoved his
coat, bared his right arm and said:
"Mrs. Bowser, feel this arm, will you?"
"Havo you got rheumatism?" she asked
as sho ron he<r hand over it.
"You have heard of withered limbs,
haven't you? Well, my arms and legs aro
going to wither and become of no earthly
use to mo unless something is done right
away. I'vo suspectod it for a long time,
but was not suronintil I had a talk with a
doctor today."
"Aro you going to take a course of
treatment?" she asked.
"That's it exactly, and I hope to check
the withering business in tbo bud. Yes,
lam going right at it this evening. Think
what would happen, Mrs. Bowser, if my
legs refused to hold me tip —if my arms
lost their strength until I could no longer
feed myself."
"Where's your inedicinof'
"I shall tako no medicine. What is
wanted in this case is exercise—plenty of
exercise. lam now going to put up a per
forming bar in tho garret and do somoper
forming, according to the doctor's orders.
"Oh, that's it! I thought itabout time
for you to get another foolish notion into
your head. If you need exercise, why
don't you do some walking—get half a
cord of wood and a bucksaw, buy a spade
and turn up some earth in the back yard?
If gome man would oomo along and toll
you your toes were falling off, you'd be
lievo him!"
"Mrs. Bowser, what do you know of
anatomy?" ho demanded, with great dig
nity.
"And what do you?" she retorted.
"Enough to believe a doctor when ho
says my arms are gradually shrinking
away until they will soon bo pipestems,
and all for tho want of exorcise. He has
told mo what to do, and I'm going to do
it. If you want to shrivel and shrink, go
ahead, but I don't propose to die that way.
1 shall put up my performing bar and per
form."
She mado no further protest, knowing
that words would be useless, and Mr.
Bowser carried the bundle of stuff to the
garret and began work. In tbo course of
half an hour ho hud his bar up, and, hav
ing removed all unnecessary clothing, was
ready to begin. Mrs. Bowser camo up
just then and inquired what ho was going
to do. He leaped up, caught the bar with
both hands and swung back and forth und
replied:
" You soo the objoct, Mrs. Bowsor. Tho
first Idea is to strengthen tho muscles of
tho arm, and that is done by sustaining
tho weight of tho body. I find that I can
sustain myself, but a week later I might
not havo been ablo to. You havo heard of
Samson, of course? Ho began on a per
forming bar like this."
" You'd get moro exercise by carrying
the ashes out of the cellar," sho said as
she turned away.
"That's you, of course!" ho exclaimed
as ho dropped from the bar. "It's enough
that I want to do anything that you should
oppose it. If you'd wake up some morn
ing und find mo withered up liko an old
bean pod, you'd rejoice in your heart.
You won't have that satisfaction, how
ever. I already foel better than I have in
three months."
"I'll get the camphor and other things
ready," she called from the head of tho
stairs.
Ho waitod until sho had disappeared
and then resumed his swinging. There
wusn't much fun in this, as it mndo his
arm ache, and ho presentlly decided that
his logs ought to havo a show. Ho had
seen a log thrown over the bar In a gym
nasium, und he set out to do it. Ho got
tho swing all right, and ho lifted his leg
j just at tho right instant, but just as he
thought ho hiicl niado a success of It some
thing fi-11 on tho floor with n jar that
shook tho house. It was Mr. Bowser. He
Lad missed tho "hang" of it. For i% long
minute ho lay there looking up at tbo
celling and trying to make out what had
happened. Then, as things began to clear
up, Mrs. Bowtier appeared and asked:
"Are you trying to brvak your back to
keep your arms from withering? I thought
the whole house was coining down."
"Woman," gasped Mr. Bowser as he
slowly sat up, "you hoped I had killed
1 myself, but I only sat down to rest. You
can trot right down stairs again and at
tend to your household affairs.''
Sho disappeared, and he took three or
( four minutes to study it out. He had not
• swung his body hard enough, and ho tried
( to throw his right leg over the bar instead
of the left. His back and shoulders ached,
j but he rose up with a grim determination
to succeed or die. He was in no hurry,
however. He went at it cautiously, and
after three or four efforts ho suddenly
lift< d himself, and his leg went over the
bar. For ten seconds he was tickled half
to death as lie hung there. Then it occur
red to him that he had got to get his leg
down again or remaiu on the j>ercli all
night. He tried again and again, but he
| couldn't do ft, and, losing his nerve, be
j called for Mrs. Bowser.
"What are you trying to do?" she asked
I is she came running up stairs.
I "To get that leg off the bar!" ho
shouted.
I "But don't you see that you can't do it
i unless you raise your whole body? You
i *ro sagging down like a bag of sand.
■ What did you want to get your leg over
for?"
I "I dunuo, but something will have to
be done."
"Better leavo it up there all night.
There are signs that your spinal column
is withering away, and the position may
j do it good."
"Can't you help lift me up?" he plead
ed. "I don't believe I can hold on hero
another minute."
"You'll have to. I'll get the cook, and
maybe both of us can boost yon up.
Didn't I tell you just how it would come
out? If somebody should tell you to hang
yourself up by tho hair of tho head to turn
your toes out, you'd do it."
She went down sfairs and left him hang
ing on like grim death, his faco as red aa
a beet and tho perspiration trickling down
his neck. S-lse didn't call the cock. She
simply sat down to wait for results. In
about three minutes they came. Mr.
Bowser maintained his grip until his fin
gers w»re numß, and all of a sudden he
uttered a yell and let go. His leg hold
sustained him for a few seconds, and then
there was anotner yell and a crash. He
had only three feet to fall, but as bo struck
on his head and fell over like a sturdy oak
, the cook in tho kitchen dropped the dish
pail and jumped for tho back yard. Fivo
minutes later Mr. Bowser heard himself
asking:
"Where am I, and what has happened?"
"You aro right under your performing
bar and havo performed," he heard Mrs.
Bowser answer.
"Am I killed*'
"Oh, no! On the contrary, yon are no
longer In any danger of being withered
up. Take a long whiff of this camphor
and lie quiet for a few minutes."
"What—what was I trying to do?" he
whispered between his sniffs.
"I think you were trying to skin the
cat, as thoy call It. but the cat skun you.
Lot 1110 help you down stairs and get you
into bed."
Neit morning Mr. Bowser got up with
a lop in each shoulder, a limp in cither leg
and his back humped up, but he was
game. When Mrs. Bowser asked him how
he felt, ho replied:
"Same as usual. Why?"
•'I didn't know hut tho fall hurt you."
"Fall—fall! What fall?"
"From your performing bar last night.
Don't you remember?"
"No, ma'cni, I don't," he stiffly replied.
"If you allow yourself to become bilioi.»
irnve rtic -nightmare, you need not
bothor me with your fantasies. It's my
opinion that you'd better do some perform
ing on the and coal bills and not be so
reckless in your household expenses."
M. QUAD.
In Memorlam.
HE DIED AS HE IIAD LIVED—UPRIGHT.
—Comic Cuts.
A Crying Need.
"What this city needs," said tho man
in the golf suit, "is a law that will re
quire pedestrians to tako lessons in walk
ing." A
"For what reason?" demanded the youth
in the tennis suit.
"Oh, they take up too much room now," j
explained the man in tho golf suit. "We
can't tell just where ho will find them
next either. Thoy wabble too much. If
they would stick to a straight line, they
wouldn't bothor us so much when wo take
to the sidewalk for a block or two to avoid
a muddy street. In tho ideal community
pedestrians will bo trained to walk on tho
curbstone, so that bicyclists can have both
tho street and the sidewulk."—Chicago
Post.
» I
HIS RULING PASSION.
St. Peter stood at the pearly pate
And pazod down the narrow way
Up which tuilixl thesouibof those whom fate
Had numbered to die that day.
And marveled he much that among th«
throng
Was one who was blithe and pay
And merrily trundled a wheel along
Up tho straight and narrow way.
Nor did he appear to burdened be
O'ermuch with his load of sin,
For, doffing his cap to Bt. Peter, he
Proceeded to enter in.
But Peter cried: "Not so fast, 1113" friend!
Your wins have been too great.
I'm sorry to say your journey's end
Is not at the pearly gate."
The merry wheelman knew not dismay,
But answered: "Good saint, 'tis well.
I'd be much obliged if you'd kindly nay
How the roads are that lead to hell."
H Now, stay," Cried St. Peter, "and tell me,
I pray,
How is it you seem not to care
1 Whither you go or where you stay
And naught for yt:ur soul's welfare?"
"Oh, as for me, it matters not,"
The wheelman quick replied,
I "If th»t place be cold or it bo hot,
60 long as I can ride!"
—New York Sunday Journal.
Ambiguous.
~ /SSr s3l
1
j
"Tho chief is making it hot for that
missionary ho quarreled with, but I think 3
they'll live together in unity after this."
DESCENDANTS OF PILGRIMS.
t
1 sir Walter Draant Figures That There
Art* 10.000 In America.
j Many people in America claim descant
r from the pilgrim fathers. There might
' be a very considerable number, if we
come to think of it. For instance, let
t us assume the number cf married pco
' pie among the lirst hundred who sor
'j vived the lirst winter as 20 couple* We
t ! will allow them three children apiece.
. We will give to each of these children
I two —a large allowance, it is true. Then
r * we have for each married couple, for
t tho first generation, 3 descendant..; for
i the (second. C; for the third, IS; for the
* fourth, 24; for the fifth, 48; fcr tho
sixth, 96; for the seventh, 193; fcr th n
1 eighth, 384; for the ninth and t-V- t:< ?-
j | ent generation. 768, anil for tl»« < r>g
y inal 20 married coupler, IS.', S'
P that tho living descendants of . -y
--f flower pilgrims can hardly I * nor* •]
about 15,000. Out of these a great raauy
< have probably clean forgotten th :r t;-.
' scent. Probably there are not anyti.ajg
e like 10,000.
If I were an American, I should cer
j taiuly like to bo one of that 10,000
Not that I feel the least attraction to a
a narrow and fanatic religion, bet be
cause the pilgrim fathers made s« fierce
t a light for existence and n place where
1 they could think as they pleased and
allow no one else to think as he might
please. Ancestry, in this country at
j least, is chiefly a matter of selection.
Tho people who keep up their geneal
ogies drop out as they go along Bum
i berless branches. People who w.ish to
r recover their genealogies havo got to
"hitch on" at one of the dropped
branches. Every marriage in a goueal-
J ogy is a kind of junction, where many
j lines may meet. Now, tho business of
the genealogist is to look up all the June
a tions, to follow up each one and to
{ choose the line which offers the most
i I desirable alliances. Some years ago an
ingenious gentleman offered to find roy
al descent for any one for £7O down.
' He did it, too, quite honestly. Ho said
j that if you could only get back 100
! years or 60 it was perfectly easy to con
nect with Edward I or Edward 111.
Sir Walter Besant in London Queen.
i
1 "My Own Notes."
1 I havo made in a number of years ol
' ardent collection quite a library pf my
own notes, and the fact that I have al
ready lived two-thirds of my probable
, of life and am a "buccaneer" of
f the newspaper world by stress of cir
cumstances sometimes gives me a pang.
I rerognize tho ludicrousness of my col
; lection for an impossible future of com
fort and leisure, for even one possible
posthumous work. I have never had
| leisure to produce one wliple or com
plete piece of literature and probably
never shall have a day's leisure in my
life, but this irony of fate does not de
i ter me.
I am like a collector of specimens of
1 butterflies. He will never learn to fly,
or the secret of it, or anything in par
ticular, but he goes on collecting.
I shall never write the books of tho
sketch skeletons iu my imagination, but
i I shall certainly continue to make end
less preparations for a posthumous li
brary of, according to my schemes and
plots and themes, some 1,000 sturdy
volumes.
The world of readers may thank God
perhaps that these books will not ap
pear in print, but I am just mad
UUlUltfll «««re tn «W "OUTT
making, in imagination, these schemes
for books that can never be written.
Perhaps it is as sane an occupation as
old china collecting, stamp collecting,
button collecting and, to jump to the
extreme of Philistinism, the collection
of dubious old masters, mostly daubs.
I confess this speculation seems to me
to be a fad no wiser. Looking at it from
my point of view, as a book lover, I
think what a library these daubs would
buy. —Lotus.
Broke the Spell.
Up to the time of Clevelai^l 'selection
it was a popular superstition with poli
ticians that no candidate whose name
began with tbe letter C could be elected
to the presidency. Tbe idea arose from
the fact that no man whose surname
presented this peculiarity, no matter
how strong he was with tho people, hud
ever been successful at tbe polls. There
were two Clintons, George and DeWitt,
William H. Crawford, Henry Clay.
Lewis Cass and a number of others,
who, though their prospects seemed
bright indeed, met with a defeat when
it came to the test. Several of the C's,
George Clinton and Henry Clay, for in
stance, were strong candidates several
times, but never could "make tho
rilUu. " —Pittsburg Dispatch.
Bertioii» of a Kentucky Pedigree.
Bob Jolly of Cave City has a hand
saw purchased in 17&8 in Virginia. It
was bor.ght iu that yenr by the grand*
- father of tbe Otter brothers, the well
known Louisville merchants, who are
no spring chickens at this writing
themselves. Mr. Otter, the grandfather,
shortly after moved to Kentucky and
brought the saw with him. Mr. Jolly
has owned the saw for 43 years. The
rear wheels of the wagon in which Mr.
Otter mado his trip to Kentucky from
Virginia are still to be seen on the place
of Mrs. Caleb Freeman in the Cave
City country. These arc about 100 years
old.—Glasgow Times
A Smart Minister.
"Yardsley donated a caster worth 07
cents to tba minister and put a tag on
it marked $16."
j "Yes?"
"Well, the parson took the articlo to
Yardsley's store yesterday and traded it
for dry goods. Yardsley's smile won't
be able to be out again for six weeks."
—Harper's Bazar.
Justifiable.
"The SI,OOO beauty had to get a di
vorce from the human ostrich."
"Why?"
"He kept swallowing her curling
iron and hairpins."—Chicago Record.
Thetr Mutual Um.
Drummer (nt Moonshineville, Ky.)—
Good morning, Mr. Crossroads. How's
business? Storekeeper (disconsolately)—
Mighty poor—mighty poor. You see, a
new store started up in opposition to me,
an of course I couldn't stand that, so I
jest gave my frien's the wink, nn they
commenced k-illin off bis customers, but
he hud mora trade than I kitlkerlMtvd on,
an w'en his customers began to shoot buck
it mode a purty even fight, an both sides
killed each other off so fast that now there
ain't either of us got any customers.—
New York Weekly.
Bis Forte.
Young Lady—You area wonderful mos- '
ter of the piano, I hear.
Professor von Spieler (hired for tbe oc- 1
casion) —I blay aggompanlmeuts some
times.
Young I^ady—Accompaniments to sing
ing?
Professor von Spieler—Aggompani
ments to gonversations.—Tit-Bits.
Arfnmni<xlstlii(.
Bridget with a kitchen full of company.
Mistress (lit the bead of tho stairs)—
Bridget!
Bridget—Yes, ma'am.
Mistress—lt's 10 o'clock.
Bridget —Thank ye, mu'aiu! And wiy
yc be so koind ez to tell me whin it's IS?—
Pick Me Up. fc
ALTRUISM IN ANIMALS.
i Some Show Friendly and I*aMlflih XnM
DiJUcult to I'ndersUuid.
t A Fronrh scientist lias lately wriWa
t au interesting paper on altruism In ani
mals, arriving at tbe startling eoocln
sion that animals are perhaps better
: Christians than men. He says, "Ani
mal -ocieiie.i are less polished, bat per
haps more humane, all thiugs being
, equal, thau our own," and give«e*ve>al
i instances of animal species made use at
, ! by another and performing services for
the latter withont receiving anything
in exchange.
Among others is mentioned tha case
• ; of tho crocodile and the bird trochilos
■, | on tho banks of tho Nile. This bird per
! forms two services for the crocodile. It
j euters into its month and dispatches
! there the worms and leeches which
j trouble the crocodile. It flies rapidly
away, giving vent to a peculiar cry,
when the ichneumon, the enemy of the
crocodile, approaches, thus apprising its
, companion of tho ichneumon's presence.
Iu return the crocodile shakes its trfil
whenever it wishes to close its mouth,
thus giving the bird warning. The croo
, odile in no wise recompenses, but con
tents itself simply with respecting tba
, person of the little animal. The service
3 rendered is unilateral But it is eaqy to
\ understand that by the exercise of ex
t tremely little intelligence, if not nn
t consciously, tho crocodile may be led to
defend its trochilua
Sometimes one animal will borrow
the services of another temporarily, as
3 in the case of the serpent who is ferried
3 across a river by a duck, or, aI ft*- _
1 quently seen, several animals aariat one
another in crossing streams of water, in
lifting large stones, in moving the
f trunks of tTees, in constructing dams, in
hunting or in mutual defense. Aphida,
3 who have the power of secreting an ab
t domiual fluid of which ants are passion
-3 ately fond, are kept by the ants in ata
bles like milk cows and carefully
watched.—Chicago News.
J ENGLISH ROYALTY.
Wh»t It Is Said to Cost the British Tu
payer Yearly.
The chancellor of tbe exobequerwent
out of his way reoently, says Labou-
I chere, in London Truth, to explain bow
r little the monarchy coats England. The
crown lands, he said, belong to the sor
, ereign and produce f 2,060,000 per an
| num. The queen receives instead of
this revenue $1,925,000 and the real of
the royal family $1,060,000. Therefore
the total cost of monarchy to the tax
payer is $925,000. Tbe entire e&lonla*
, tion proceeds on the erroneous aasamp-
I tion that the crown lands are the pri
vate property of the sovereign. This
they are not They originally formed •
portion of the general revenue of tbe
country, out of which came tbe main
tenance of the sovereign.
That abject flunky Lord Bute, wish
ing to curry favor with George m, in
serted in the civil list aot which waa
passed on that monarch 'a aooession m
, renuueiatiofi-by him of the orown land*
and this renunciation by a sovereign of
what he did not possess is the bails of
the theory of these crown lands being
the private property of the oocupant of
tbe throne.
According, therefore, to Sir Miohgel
Hicks-Beach's ofrn figures, monarchy
costs England $2,985,000. Tbe nal
amount is, however, much higher, for
>l.,i ■ ~ i ..i..immuimu luuiueuwu
to the institution which he does not in
clude. The bard fact remains that in
France the president receives $900,000
per annum and fulfills with deoent
splendor all the duties of the head of
the state, while with England the mon
archy costs nearer £1,000,000 than
1,000,000 francs A defense, therefore,
of monarchy on the ground of economy
hardly holds water.
Bending Cardboard.
An English inventor— name or loca
tion we do not find given— is said to
have contrived a tool capable of being
attached to any machine or apparatus
having a transversing slide and a fixed
table that will bend oardboard withont
the need of a score cut, thus preserving
the full strength of the material at tbe
bend. The tool in question is formed of
metal or wood and is in two parts, one
having a recess on one edge and tbe
other a straight edge, having the upper
edge rounded off to fit into the reoeas
on the edge of the first part, allowing
space between equal to the thickness of
the substance to be bent— the length of
the straight edge to be made to the
longest bend required. In using the
tool, the second mentioned part is made
a fixture to the table machine frame or
apparatus and the first part is attached
to the traversing portion. By placing
tbe cardboard to be bent on the straight
edge, then sliding the second part over
and along the board under a certain
amount of pressure, a bend in the card
will be produoed.— New York Sun.
Archbishop Jusseos.
The late Archbishop Janssensof New
Orleans left an estate of only about
$6,000, which he inherited from his
father, and three-fourths of it he be
queathed for religions and charitable
purposes He was entitled to a hand
some salary for years, but drew barely
enough to pay the actual expenses tat
his simple living, having allowed tbe
remainder to accumulate to pay off tbe
debt of the diocese.
▲ll In the Srfme Boat.
Gus de Smythe—Thoee new boots of
yours squeak awfully. Perhaps they
ain't paid for yet?
Johnnie Fewscads—That's all non
sense. If there is anything in that, why
don't my coat and my vest and my
trousers and my hat squeak too? Lo
ndon Fun.
Campbell, comparatively unknown,
received $18,500 for the "Pleasures of
Hope," though Burns, less fortunate,
was paid $125 for the first Kilmarnock
edition of his poems—single copies at
which now sell for far more— and
$4,360 for tho second edition.
For Prudential Reason*.
Jack D&sbing—Wo must break the SB*
gagement.
Perdita—Why?
Jack Dashing— l do not think your fa
ther can afford a son-in-law.—New York
Truth.
Nice to Handle.
She—Law? What is law? Woman gov
ern n the world. Woman is law.
He—That must be tbe reason why so
many men llko to take the law In their
own hands.—New York Evening Journal.
The Thirst For Knowledge.
Tho great trouble with aoquiring knowl
edge is that the things a man longs most
to know are none of his business.—Atchi
son Globe.
The Name's the Thing.
Tliouuh his rhymes were not tbe newest,
And bis meter not the truest,
And his errors not the fewest,
Vet they took the verse he sent.
T»as a poem on the weather,
All the chtwtnate heaped together,
But it didn't matter whether
It was old, the poem went.
For two words of msglo meaning,
Every uuperfection screening.
From the work all blemiahcleaniag,
Saved the verses from the flame.
This expression so redeeming.
With poetie fancy teeming.
Very .soul of music seeming,
Was the famous poet's name. _
No 33