.VOL- xxxiv
MRS. J. E. ZIMMERMAN.
Attractive Offerings
The w*-,lrh f spring is verily centers i here —a completeness
without .1 i/.i ; aii*.ii. Dcsirabie merchandise at our n :!!-ka >wn low
price*. Th.- . thi:i-;s mar ' «/ frihlon's lav-jr a-.vait you. We
y;i 1 H visit ofinspection bef >re purciiasing !_•!.■>•-
wli--. < . VVe ls i mil no jvcr-sfcucmcnt in ou* advertisements.
ladies' New Spring Tailored Gowns
L'i'li s' ! ii! >r-n:aJe Eton sui's fly fr- nr Reefer suits i a
s->!e«.«ii i (j";:!iry of rou'jh finish d serge. ack ::s fined with ch-« „r
--„b- ssJlc. S-.ii s Uiv-d wi ii pttcaii.it;. Also ! -.dies' plain and mixed
Cover! c! ih suits in v.. pring shades—a wonderful bargain at $lO.
real valu $12.50
Ladies' Separate Skirts
Black and new desirable colors, well made, lir. d, full width and
1, sl, $1.98, $&35 and W have aiso added a full
ii'ie of Miss-.-s' and Children's Jacket Suits. Mis cs sepa.-ate skirts
and siiirt waists. A nice 3-Loned check shirt at $1 Eull
jacket si:its at $3.25.
New Spring Dress Goods
Double-width fancy novelties and shepherd checks in a large
variety of seasonable and choice color combinations, exceptional
values (ion 12c pir yard up to high class novelty f'ress patterns at
$2 per yard.
Spring Capes
Ladies' Velvet Capes lined, prettily Embroidered in Jet.
Ladies' Silk Capes lined, prettity Embroidered in Jet,
ribbon-trimmed, at $3.00, $4.00 and $5.00.
Spring Millinery
All fashion lovers are rapidly becoming acquainted with this
store's great trimmed Millinery Stock. They realize our facilities for
producing the finest specimens of tt.e art. We allow nothing to be
placed on sale that is not stylish and up to the very latest decrees of
fashion, whi e hats trimmed to order is our special pride, Only ex
perienced milliners in our employ. Your orders taken by an ex
perienced millinery sales-woman. All trimmed fiats and orders got
ten up at our well known low prices.
MRS. L. IVi. RITTER Still in Charge of Our Millinery Department.
Space forbids us—we would like to describe our elegant assort
of Wash Goods, Embroideries, Laces. Dress Trimmings, Silk
and Laundered Shirts Waists. Lace Curtains, Portiers, Table
Covers, Draperies, Curtain Goods, &c. We are better prepared
than we have ever been to fill your wants with stylish up to-date
goods at our well known I>>W prices. Quality the best.
Mrs- J. E- /Zimmerman.
T. H. BURTON. T. H. BURTON,
"THE BEST
I've aeen for the money," said an enthusiastic buyer
who hail visited every store, reserving ours for the
last, "and when I leave my (12.00 I teel as if I had an
SIB,OO suit for it." Noth'ng new to us, we always
dicl claim to give the best—always felt as if the pub
lic knew it too. We would like you to compare any
thing you see elsewhere for SIO.OO or even $12.00
with our
$7.50.
T. H. BURTON, T. H. BURTON,
120 S. MAIN ST. BUTLER, PA.
W - _ "
_ "„0-«.'vv.''A-V»0000000000000'300C<00*>
S y IS §
| tuality M g Power, 1
| Hitch your 11 k But be sure!
I; business |g pj it's in a §
i|i works to a 1 I jFahys Gold=|
good watch. ||R filled Case, |
!;! * And that you buy it from * g
E. GRIEB, JEWELER, j
139 N. MAIN STREET, BUTLER, PA.
J. S. Young. J. S. Young.
I desire to thank the public for their very liberal pat
ronage since I went into the merchant tailoring buiness,
and to show my appreciation of the same; and in order
to make room for the extensive line of spring goods
that arc daily arriving, 1 will s 11 anything in my stock
at greatly reduced prices.
J. S. YOUNG. Tailor.'
101 S. MAIN St., - . . BUTLKR, PA
{ "THE COMMERCIAL," j
J |w. K. THORNBURG Propr., Evans City, Pa#
4 > This popular house lias just been entire!) remodeh d A
4 and refurnished. Everything convenient, and guests £%
v* ill always receive close attt utiyn.
I Located near Postoffice and P.& YV 1) pit When if
. . in Evan . City t»p at the < 'orisii.cici.i! Hell Tele- V
• | phone No. 16. V
X>OOO0OOOOOOOOOO<I|!>OOOOOOOO<#
THE BUTLER CITIZEN.
No Cripe
When you take Hood's rills. The big. old-fash
ioned, sugar-coated pills, which tear you all to
pieces, are not in it with llood's. Easy to lake
Hood's
... _
of n 1 i a a
np to date In every respect. 8 I I
■H H B
druggists. 25c. C*. I. Ilood & Co.. Lowell. M:iss. i
The m;hr rilto to tak--" -villi Hood's S:irs.ip.arilla j
Thi« I» Yonr Opportunity.
On receipt of ten centß. cash or stamps,
a generous sample will be mailed of the
most popular Catarrh ami Hay l ever < ure
'Elv's Cream Val.n sufficient to demon
strate the grt .i meiits of the remedy.
ELY BROTHERS,
56 Warren bt . New York City.
Rev. .Tohn Reid, Jr.. of Great Falls, Mont., i
recommended Ely's Cream Balm to me. I
can emphasize his statement, '"lt is a posi
tive cure for catarrh if used as directed." — j
Rev. Francis Vf. Poole, Pastor Central Pres.
Church, Helena, Mont.
Fly's Cream Balm is the acknowledged
cure for catarrh and contains no mercury
nor any injurious dru£ Price, 50 cents.
HA It • OAD 7 iMk. I A • L r
Wi-W;!: Pernsylvj.ti.3i i>:"-i
Sen. Ml* !L' vflVct N"V. 16 18S6
Si>ll!]l, —ecK l>i ■-—.
A. M. A. M A. M. r. M. I'
lIIITLKIt I .cave *'■ '.?> 11 A* i * r '
Siroiibur; trrtvc >; w f/a 111.. 310
liutler Jet.. •• r -Z7 ?>•>"■
KullerJct . Leave "30 14 rj 3 :t> .t
Natrona Atrive : s >*s- !'J I'i
Tun-iiimn 'i ii fcOJ
Sprliii.'i!»l< 750 1)12 12 3* »<'2
ClarefiJODl 926 12 S3 110 ' -
Sl:!irpst , «M|{ SOT 031 1"1 12-'
AllejtUeaj 'M:y ...820 »13 I I'. * «' ,:i
A. t. m. r. m. r. m. >■ m.
si SIJAV 'i J.'AINS Leave itlltli r lor A!l»
j.lhu\ eti} aiul niiielpal luiertuedtute -: i ' ■
7:4.' A .V., • :T. 15 - i - . M.
Nurtl . Wefk n
». V. s >l. A. J1 I' M '' »
AI1» jfhen.v f;lty.. Lv. 7Ou '.f cj 112" 2
Bharppt)urir. . <ll 912 113" 2 10
I'liireniout 919 1115 2 .--8
riUKdal' 930 1 1 "J 315 T '*
r»»reL:un, .. 732 939 12 (»s 32- t. • ■
\«in.na 737 91:-, 1213 3 .*• c n
RaUftJet \r 7ts 9so 12-2:1 IM •. i->
Il::!lerjc'l I.V 715 950 12 M 3
Huxobburi? 810 loi" 12 .i ; *l3 •
rfer- KU \r. Xl 3 loa* 125 13b 1I"
A. M. A. M, P. V. r M r A!
SVNHAI 'JIJAINS I ■ rtVf ,Alle,lii u; !i; !• r
IP. !• I -i i , .i.i" r'n" lint" -• 7a
v M.. Ht.d 7:15 1. M.
W, bk D*J. r l:.i. t. l V. • ei. I>.». >.
a t-'. a. m. _ pa, p. i i.
11 20 625 Lv UuTLBE.-.Ar i - r >
12 07 727 Ar Bai'er Jc't Lv 12 :J1
:J i:ij 11 .1 45 L,v i:r.ll ■ r Jc't Ar 830 i 2 :t!
318 749 Ar Fr. . port.. Lv 828 12 30
322 733 " Jc't " 824 J2 2;
333 804 ' 1.->caliQT<r. '• 812 12 12
350 821 '-Panlri'ii( Apollo" 756 11
418 85] •• >alts<liur(: . 752 1132
450 922 '• l::»i:nvil>..." 700 11 00
4'B !) 30 '• islair«ville lns'u' 518 10 1:>
850 II 35 ' Altooca "J 25 H(V
100 310 " L'-iri-hu-g.-.-'lI 310
130 G23 " Philadelphia. ■8 30 11 20
a. ru •) ixi. h. :n )■ in
OD Suridai, trail 1 I^H«.it.jr Bmler 7:40 .v.
id., councct* f'Hr
Pl.ilid'lphii
Thronph train- for tho e». t I ::<>■
l.'i117:.i« His' a fo'lotrii:—
Ai'autic T»rprtw». *!a ; .:> 3 10 A. X
IVnj.,ylva*iii' Li;nite<! " 7 15
Day Exprm-, '' .7 30
Maio Liue Express •' 8 oO
I r.iladelpfila
Kasteni Kxproeg " 7 'JO
Fr.ht Liue " .....8 10 "
I'hila<!'a Mail. 3'ioday only 840 a :u
For (lelaili-it iiiS>ri.vitiou, a.Uie
P. Watt, Par d. A|!t. W i-Mi 1-n I> I - r;; • i;.r
. ilth Av« ui ii 6uii'fcfi«'ld Hf , Piltol.'U.v,
i a.
.M HUTCHISON, J. U. \»OOI>,
vra 1 V. -»*>«<;!•-. ('.er'l r Aivl.
piTTSBUKG & WKSTKKN
*• Railway. Allegheny Short
Line. Schedule in effect, July 19,
1896.
Butler 1 Idle, Depart. Arrive
Allegheny Aeeoinmod itlon.. fi 25 am 923 arri
Allegbeny Flyer S i":nn MtfM
Akron Mill 11l U) 7 3" M
Ne\v< :i>lle Aeeom i * 15 an. 925 am
Allegheny Accnino 10 05 alii 12 20 pill
Allegheny Express 2 .15 pm • 'Pin
Clil'-ano Express... 3 35 j in 12 20 pin
Allegheiiv Mall 6 05 pDi 7 ."'J | ill
Kll wood Aecomo o of> pin 7 at pm
Cl' le ino Kxp. i-S 0 C 5 pm 9 25 am
Allegheny Hxprea ■ s on pm
K:ine axi'l Kruilloril Mall pi ''s am 520 pm
t'iarlon Aecomo 5 1 • prn o 50 am
Koxbnrg Aecotno 7 35pDj HOS am
HL'NIIAY TRAIN'S.
Deforest Jet. Accomo « 1". an, V3O pm
Allegheny Aceotoo lu oo am
Chicago Kxpt' is 3 :i5 |rn 1 55 pm
Allegheny Ac-omo « 05 pui 1 55 pm
PtiUmau Buffei rticoplniji ars anil 3r:-'.-ela»
•my c'oiicuen mn throu/h betwei n Butler am:
f,"ifcago ilallv.
Kor through rltkel!!to points . tin West
Northwest or Houtliwi -t apply to
A. K. CROUCII. Afetit
Butler, Pa
Trains leave the li. A- (). depot In I'ittbu:g
•or ili<- v t*i, anollcwa.
For Washington I> Baltimore, I'bllailel
phla, ■■■!•. i New York. 7 :.V) anl 9-.2U i> m
'Jnml '-rl in,l. B:10. 7 :30, a.m. 1 :10, 9r2fi p. m.Con
ri'-!svl!le. f:io, 72i0. a. in. 1.10. 1.30, 4.15. -.'JO, 9.20
ti m. L'nlontown. "..0 a. m ,l 10.1.30. 5.30 p. m.
Union town, Morga t and Fairmont, 7.:«'. a.
111. and 5.31' p.m. Mt. Pleasant 6.40, 7. 30 a. in.
.10 and 1.30 p 10. Washington, Pa. 7.4« anil
30 a. m., 4.00.1.i5 and 9.00,11.55 p. in. Wheel
rg, 7.10. aiui 9M a, m..and I.QO, 9.00. 11.50 p,
.. Cincinnati. St.. :.OUIH, Colurahua ami Ne-v
srlf 7.10 a. m., 9.10, 11.55 p.m.
Kor Ch'.CHgo. 2.40 ai. I 9.30 p. m
Parlor w HloepiDgcars to Baltimore w »j-<
linfi"n. ''lneiiinat.l and fhlcairo.
H. O. IX'NKLK, fion. Sapt. \ll<>k'l my, Pa
('. W. HAKSKTT, A Q.P A., Alletfhtny Pa
K P. KEYHOLDM. Sipt. Foxbarg, P»
11IIE PITTSBURG, SHKNAN
-1 GO & Laki; ERIK RAILROAD
TIMK TABLE— In effect Randay, Deo.
30, 1806. Trainn a'o run by Stsinlanl Ceil
tral Time (90th Meridian).
(IOINONOKTH COIN,I S'lt'TH
1 14 I 12 KTATIONS II jl3
p.n pm p.m. An filtrate Lv'eu.m. .in I'm
.... 510 2M. L. S..<tM S . . H35 U t,5
4 5", N. 1 . ( .ASM 5 36 12 05
p. m la. m,
2 or '.) in Krn- .... 11 00 1 <lO
120 H 27. Wallace .lini' t .. II 4> lln
1 is S iZ> . Clraril.. 11 I', t 43
I 07 M 1:1.... Loekpori. .. 11 5,, 1 a.i
I 00 I* 0"| . cianesfllle. 12 03 502
Ti in; « 5 iT.f.'cnnea"' lv.- .111 <-<•( 1 w
1 47| 9W ar ar. 1 1 8 0
... .12 56, 7 .Mar.. Albion... U ... 12 OH 50-
[la ti 7 45 . siiadeland 112 5 10
112 II 7 1 ... KprlDgbOro 12 2i; 517
12.11 7 31..C'',nneaiitvllle 12 1. 5 .5
017|12 16 1 7 15... Mea'v'le Jet... ....|l2 so|| 8 4«
f( |.1,'12 .1) I'.'r. I.llllMlle IV 12.'!".
2 in 12 no h lolv .Conn'' Like 'l2 00
. . ; I 07 7 s?ar nr 1 07 fi On
1 3MI :i5 fl o.»,lv..Meadvllle 1v.... 11 :ir
~~oj 12 02 7. Tuamtown No 1 1 i~oi
II 67 0.. . A'lamsvillo 1 11 f, <X!
.... 11 IK 'i .. Olgoo'l ... I VI « i|
2SII in •; ... Iri'iMVi'l. ... I, ;,, I ;[• 2li
1» 11 -i ... s"l'in 1, T > 12 1 »'■ « '
1 no il ot Frednula... 7 to / 07
4 i:i0»"' Mfcreer... 719 221
In IO 23 (irove cily. .. 7 40 J l«
or, ,10 I ' Ilarrlhvllle.... 75* ICO
A7iio n2, hraociiion.... h ft; :i mi
.'319 57 .v., .Kels.i rs .... <t |o| 3 I'..
« 9 44) Kuctld H JJ :i 27
lo| o ir,| ipjili r f '■«> :: y„
220 7 2<) Alligheny, PAWII . o ....
p.m a.ui .... a. m p. in .
J.T. BI.AIIi. (leneral Manager. (,roen\!l!e E.i
W.C s.iKCIAKT C V A Vnadvilic »•.,
L. C. WICK,
DKAI.KR IN
Rough Worked Lumber
OF Al,f, KINDS.
I )oors, Sash, Hlinds, Mouldings,
Shingl«;s ami Lath
Ahva/s in Stock.
LIME, ll\IR AM) PI,\STI:K.
Office opposite P. iV W. Depot.
BUTLER, PA,
BUTLER, PA, THUHSDAV, APRIL 1, IBOT
A LEGEND.
There ls a legend he that runs may read.
That when a little child was called away
To make Heaven brighter, disquieted.
The mother's tears kept falling da}* by
duy.
j In vain for her that the soft touch of
6pring
Changed the chill white world to a liv
ing green.
That robins sans and skies were welcom
ing.
And on the hills ten thousand flowers
were seen.
God tried to help her. but she listened not:
He touched her gently, but she drew
away;
He swung a censer of forget-me-not
' Between her and her helpless agony.
| 'Twas all in vain, for still the mother wept.
I'ntil at length In drearns through the
dark hours
She wandered far where the lost gems were
kept
j Within the country of the fadeless
flowers.
: And as she Journeyed, to her there
came ;
i The same lost darling that she thought
was dead,
, Bearing a heavy pitch-r fnll of tears—
They carry every tear that mcthersshed. ;
Twas such a heavy burden, and the child
Chfded the mother for its weary tveight, :
And begged her for her sake be reconciled:
O'erburdened, Heaven itself was deso- i
late.
She caught the precious darlins to her I
heart.
And threw the heavy burden far away;
Wandered together In green field? apart
And heard the songs of wondrous mel
ody.
And when she waked she dried her weeping
eyes.
Bathed her hot cheeks: no teardrop
lingered thert?
Lest it might grieve lh» child in Paradise
And add a weight she was too small to
bear.
Perhaps some h&art bereaved may read
these lines,
God help thee, dear, to Him be recon
ciled;
Thy little one is saf<> with Him betimes.
Oh, lift the burden from the Heavenly
child!
—Nelly H. Wood worth, in Boston Journal.
AN AUDITOR.
§ADY CARLIXG
FORD was a wom
an with a purpose
in life, expending
her energies on
every kind ofchar
itttble work
ft V -'Y f amongst the poor.
i Hy way of recrea
tlon she occ a
- - sionally turned her
u attention toother
affairs. Her most recent idea was that
my society was not desirable for her
youngest daughter, Nora.
I was not surprised, therefore, at the
manner in which she greeted me wßen
I called.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Avnesworth,"
she said, coldly, an she laid aside some
knitting. Lady Carlingford was con
tinually engag-ed upon the making of
altogether impossible garments for peo
ple who did not want them. "I thought
we had agreed that —"
"Exactly, Lady Carlingford," I broke
ill, cheerfully; "we agreed that I should
not call here for the present, but alas!"
I added, with a sigh, "duty must be at
tended to." And I held tip a neat little
parcel in brown paper which I had
brought with me.
Young Clarence Carlingford, a boy of
14, who was sitting behind his mother,
began to grin.
"Does that," fiald Lady Carlingford,
looking at 1 he parcel through her lorgn
ettes, "represent duty?"
"Yes. As you know," I continued,
with a modest air, "I take an active in
terest in social work amonpst the poor."
Lady C arlingford appeared surprised.
"Indeed?" she said, politely. Young
Lance, catching my eye, deliberately
winked at me.
"Being aware of this, Mr. Stafford,
who usually audits the l>ooks of the
' Pear-lane soap kitchen, came and asked
me to undertake the work; he was so
busy—"
"Mr. Stafford busy!" exclaimed Lady
Carlingford. "I did not, know that he
had ever clone anything in this world,
beyond the work you refer to!"
"Q, no," I explained; "that is quite a
mistaken impression. Stafford doesn't
talk much, but I can assure you he gets
throup-h a tremendous amount of hard
work."
Young Lance suddenly crammed his
handkerchief into his mouth.
"Well?" said Lady Carlingford, the
tone was not encouraging.
I drew myself up, ajul assumed a busi
ness like manner.
"To-morrow," I said, "I ha\e to sub
mit my auditing report to the commit
tee. I have examined the liooks, but
there, are a few discrepancies, which I
should like explained. As Miss Nora
keeps the accounts I thought you would
pardon my calling; it is quite a business
matter."
Young Lance row. from his seat and
made for the door; he we lived to be
agitated.
"It was quite right of you, Mr. Ay lies
worth," said Lady Carlingford, gra
ciously. "Having all the details of the
sonip kitchen work at my (infer tips, I
shall be pleased to answer any ques
tions."
This almost unnerved me; however,
young Lance behaved in a most intelli
gent manner.
"All right!"hecried, as lie banged tihe
door open. "I'll fetch Nora in a jiffey!"
"Lancelot!" cried hw mother, nharj*-
ly; her son obliged me by juretemling
not to hear.
Lady Carlingford wax thoughtful for
n moment or so; then, resuming her
knitting, she remarked:
"You know we are gointr away to
morrow, Mr. Aynesworth?"
As if that was not the very reason t hat
I had bullied good-natured old Stafford
into lending me the books! The facta
were these: Nora was a ci.rl of spirit,
nnd, what was better, had attained her
majority. If sli« had consented to l>e
my wife. I did not think her mother's
views on the - übfect would have carried
endue in.fluer.ee; the d:fTien?ty was.
that matters had not reached tliisliiippj
stage when Lady Carlingford hud de
voted her attention to the affair. &ine<
then, of course, 1 had been allowed nc
opportunity, and now they were leaving
for a long visit. Tin- thought of wha
might happen during this time ha/
made me resolve .upon a desjx-ratc ef
fort.
Nora carnc into Ilw* room. Never, ir
my opiirion, had she presented a da in
tier appearance.
"Cood afternoon, Mr. Ayne-sworth,*
•>li< k said, a flight bln.eh on either cheek
J.ance tells me there are some errors ii
, the soup kitchen account*. Are thej
very dreadful?" flic added, a suspicioi
j of a smile | laying round t in- corners o
i her mouth.
"Well." 1 said, officiously, "there an
'j several matters to lie gone into."
It was a long r/Kim, with rather a low
celling, and the afternoon wa- drawirtj,
' to a close.
"IW-ing the books to the little tubh
in the window," said Nora; "you wil
tee Ix'tter."
i followed her up the room. I/a«l\
Curlintrford glanced after us with i
doubtful expression, but said nothing
"The first thing." I began, as I untiec
the parcel | WHS rat Iter curious to set
wnat the bool like —"is the ques '
tion of —er —soup."
"What's that. Mr. erie<
out Lady Carlingford from her end.
Norn, who was sillintr behind a large
fern. lir-t faw hidden from her mother's
view, began to la ugh.
"I was going l to say. Lady Carlirg
ford." I continued, wondering what or
e&rrh an auditor would be likely total'* .
about —"O. that I could not iirl a vouch
er for Uu —cr —vege!ai'les." I finished :
I thought this was good. "Voucher* ,
sounded business like, and I knew thai )
vegetables were required for soup.
"If you will kindly look at the ae _
counts." replied Lady Carlingford, ir
withering tones, "you will see that, nc
\rgetahles whatever were purchased
Mv gardener supplied the entire qnan
-1 tlty."
i looked, but saw nothingof the kin/1 1
How ever, I took her wort! for it.
"Yes, of course." I agreed, hurriedly
"How stupid of roe!"
Norn was en jo g herself immcnsclj
behind the fern.
"Anything e4se?" mid Lady Carling
ford, in a voice that mad" me shiver. 1
i decided on a bold move.
"Yes," I said. "I do not agree the
| cast."
I found a »ook that had figures in it
j and pushed it towards Nora,
i "Would you mind trying the pence of
that column?" I said.
She bent her head over the book and
examined it intently. It was upside
down, by the way.
"Do you imake It nine?" I queried
anxiously.
"No, eightpence-halfpenny." she re
plied. "Let's try it together!" she
added, as If inspired.
I drew up my chair close to hers. A
servant entered the roomi and engager!
Lady Carlingford's attention.
It was now or never. I thought.
"Nora," I wh i.Tpered, "your mot.hei
- '■ ~-
Njk;
If:
XORA CAME INTO THE ROOM,
has asked roe not to call —you are going
away to-morrow, and I may never have
another opportunity. You >w I care
for you more than for any ot.lu-r wom
an in this world. Will you—"
"Is there any mistake?" came from
the other end of the room.
"We are trying the cast, mamma!"
faltered Nora.
"Lady Carling ford can have no real
objection," I went on, hurriedly; "she
will come round in time. Nora, will you
be my wife?"
ITer little finger was trembling, as it
wandered aimlessly up and down the
lines of figures.
"Haven'tyou finished with Mr. Aynes
wqrth?" cried Lady Carlingford.
I looked at N'oMkllriftifmifly.
"No, inainn.a," she said, calmly. "I
haven't. lam going to marry him."
As I predicted, Ladv Ca.rlingford
eventually saw matters from our point
of view. It is always better to accept
the inevitable with a good grace. —The
Magnet Magazine.
Sat on in Imaginary Pnpll.
Dorothy hod the chairs gathered
nround her and was sitting quietU in
among them, evidently much erg.™ d.
Just what she was doing her grand
mamma did not. know, but she sat down
for a moment in one of the chairs to
smile at. the little girl and learn the
cause of her absorption. "If you would
not mind, gradmamma." said Dorothy,
"would you please take another chair.
You are sitting on a little, irirl." She
was playing school.—N. Y. Times.
Ordrr In Conrt.
In the early 80's "Jim" Shnltz was
justice of the peace in Twin fsroves
township, Neb. One day an attorney
was exceedingly domineering in his
words and actions. His honor finally
gave vent to his feelings as follows:
"The court will now tal •• n recess. Mr.
Atto.mey, you are a liar and a scoundrel.
The court will now ennic lo order. Mr.
Attorney, if yoni open your h"nd I will
fine yon for contempt." San Fran-i-co
Argonaut.
What They Get.
The honest old fellow who cleans out a
bank, with a broom, for a dollar a
day,
3eta only th» courtesy shown to a Jog, ex
cept while lie's drawing his pay.
The burglar who cleans out a bank at
night, with a Jimmy and powder and
•aw,
3eta only a mmtenee, to pay for his pains,
that's the farthest extent of the law.
The trusted official who cleans out a bank
gets the cash and he's nothing to fear.
But why should the crooked' st one of the
three be acclaimed as a "financier?"
—Chicago Times-Herald.
THE PBCDKNT MAID.
* A— ** A
4 4 J 0 4 I lilv.
Madge—Why did she postpone the
marriage a year ago?
Marjorie—Because lie was poor.
Madge—And why has she now bro
ken the engagement?
Marjorie—Because her father hnH
suddenly become rich.—N. Y. World.
Not Particular.
The men who always light upon
Their feet, no matter what they do.
Art; men who sre not worried If
They light on some one else's, too.
—N. Y. Truth.
The Heiit Way.
Miss I Jed hud—Shall 1 announce my
I engagement at once, dear?
Miss Pinkerly—l would. If you wait
! any longer it may bo too late.—N. Y.
1 Journal.
Important.
Teacher —What, is the most impor
tant mechanical invention of our c<-n
--tury?
Pupil—The penny-in-thc-slot candy
; machine. —Fliegende lilaefter.
About tti«* Nauie.
Mrs. Knight—lfcvs your hushand
treat you the same now as he did when
he was court i ng you ?
Mrs. Laight—l'retty much. Ilekw[» 1
ne in the dark! Vunkert- Statesman.
n'hrre the Art Contra In
Mrs Smith Tell me, Mr. Knnvii*. <
what is the gr< atcst work ( I art
Kauvas (an artist) Selling the paint- j
itigi,oa'atu,—N. V. World.
ADJUSTING AF FA IKS.
BV GII.BEUT UOYI-E.
HAD dined with
G) ■'"* '""'3, St. Croix, and we
' were now on our
f&Ji \ nj way to some un
f V, f interesting people
I! who were giving a
\Vi dance. Since en
— ter.ng the cab the
conversation had
slackened; appar-
I ently we both pos
v V sessed ample food
for reflection. As we rattled over
come stones St. Croix shouted in my
ear:
"You'll see her to-night, Ingram!"
I had returned from t he country that
morning: stiil d**en in my thoughts, I
replied:
"No such luck; she is 100 miles from
town, and —"
I stopped abruptly as 1 caught a
glimpse of his faee. Fortunately he
| had not noticed my observation. "So."
I continued, grasping the situation,
! "vou have omv again decided tk:;t the
! feminine interest in your life should be
i ceutered in one?"
"Ingram, old chap," he said, solemn
ly, "it's serious this time!" (I have
he:.rd this remark made before under
sini.iar circumstances.)
"I sincerely trust it is!" I replied.
A good-looking, wealthy man, past
30, has no right to be unmarried.
"This has happened whilst 1 have
been away?" I added,
lie nodded.
"And the maiden is—" I began.
St. Croix actually looked confused, j
"Well, she's hardly—" he said, awk- j
wardly, "that is—of course, she's |
joung—well, the fact is, she's a j
widow!"
1 glanced at him reproachfully. j
"Any—er—"
"Nol no," he replied, hurriedly, "of
course there ape no children. \\ hy,
roan, she's only young herself—hus
band died in India —fever, snake bite*,
or some other handy thing of thatkind.
O, no," he went, on, with a smi'e, "1
couldn't do it if there were any chil
dren!"
"Have you actually proposed to lier?"'
"Not yet," he replied thoughtfully,
"but I feel that it is as good as settled.
Ingram," he continued, with an. air of
enthusiasm, "she's adorable. She—"
"My dear St. Croix," I said, "these
confidences remind me of the pood old
days."
"Ah," he replied, with .i sigh, "this
is no boyish flirtation!"
"By Jove!" he cried, as an idea struck
him, "you two will get on capitally
together. Having both been in India,
you will be able to—"
"Chat about her husband?" I sug
gested.
St. Croix looked serious.
"Poor child," he said In a compas
sionatft tone. "She must have been
very unhappy during that time!"
It is Rtrange how men generally re
fer to their wives' first marriages in
this way.
"We are admirably suited," he con
tinued, his face lighting up. "1 am 30.
and she—well, I should say she is 2a.
A man should be a year or so cider than
his wife."
"Yes," I agreed, "she is very young
for a widow."
"Much too young," replied St. Croix;
"that's one reason why she should
marry again!"
••'pv—T "JTo-v b.n 11
been going on ?'*
lie considered for a few minutes.
"I first saw her," he said, slowly, "at
ten minutes to nine on Monday last
week!"
"My dear fellow!" I exclaimed, "you
must hurry up matters; the lady will
positively weary of the courtship!
Just then the cab drew up with 8
jerk.
"Here we arc.," said St. Croix. "Jump
out!"
After greeting our hostess we sep
arated. Several people of my acquain
tance were there, and I had to ge
through the usual number of duty
dances. Presently I saw St. Croix
coming towards me.
"Ingram," he said, taking me by the
arm, "come with me."
There is nobody ko exacting a mtir
in love.
"She is waiting to l>e introduced t<
you," he said, as we made our way to the
conservatory. Here, in a secluded
corner (for St. Croix is experienced in
these matterrs), we found the lady.
"Mrs. Fordyoe," said St. Croix, "al
low me to—"
"Mrs. Fordyce!"
I looked at her, then burst out laugh
ing.
"Dr. Ingram!" she exclaimed.
"You know one another?" cried Ht
Croix, with a puzzled look.
"Why," I said, '"I have known Mrs
Fordyce since—"
"Yes, Dr. Ingram and I are quite old
friends," she interrupted, with a glance
nt me.
I understood.
"That is jolly!" St. Croix said, heartr
iiy- , .
I am not sure that Mrs. Fordyc*
agreed with him entirely.
The strains of a waltz came through
•the open doors. St. Croix looked at his
ptogramme.
"Bother!" he cried. "It's my dance
with the darughteir of the house. Will
vou kindly look after Mrs. Fordyce, In
gram ?"
"I should be delighted," I replied, and
he hurried off.
As soon as he had disappeared 1
turned to Mrs. Fordyce.
"It's all very odd," I remarked.
"What?" she queried—"that you
should turn out. to lie the friend Mr
fit. Croix has been talking to ine
about?"
I smiled; tin- qua in t ness of the whole
matter seemed infinitely amusing tc
me.
"No," I said, "that you should lie the
lady whoi«e charms he ha been describ-
She blushed; I gazed nt her critio
ally.
"'Pon my word," I exclaimed at
length, "it is positively marvelous, tc
j think that it is close ujiott —"
"That is jnst what 1 don't want-you 1<
think, doctor," she interrupted.
"But, my dear Mrs. Fordyce, you ac
tually look younger and more beautiful
than you did when we were together ut
Simla!"
She laughed.
"We have always been in the habit ol
► peaking plainly to one another."
"Yes," I agreed; "it. save.- time."
She gave me a nervous little glance.
"(I said, reassuringly, "I amyoui
friend."
She was playing with the edge of liei
fan.
"A woman is only as old a.s she
looks," she observed, "and I was mar
a icd at an extremely early age."
"Si. Croix was perfectly justified iu
his estimate —25 he told me," I said
with a laugh. "But that, is a detail;
! the thing that will urprise him lnosi
will be the fact Ilia! Clare i xists!"
She looked at nu- with a smile.
"Ah, you have met her at the IJos- j
toes'?"
"Yes; I found my little ten-year-oldt
rweet.heart of Simla had (rrown into c
dainty young lady of is; How is it?"
I continued, "that St-. CroK is ignorant
of her existence?"
"Well, he assumed I had no children
and I—l could not summon up courage
to tell him afterwards. You sec what e
difficult, posit iom I am in," she *dded
plaintively.
"Yes. it is difficult." I cgreed. "Thf
unexpected appearance of a full-growr
daughter upon the scene might prov«
too heavy a strain at this critical stag*
of his love. A girl of IS is a responsi
bility," I added.
All this time. I hod been hugffing tc
myself some special intelligence. 1
thought it was about time to bring mat
ters to a head.
"Mrs. Fordyce," I said, "do yon reallj
care for St, Croix?" She did not replj
for a moment.
"Yes." she said simply: "1 really love (
him. O, can't you suggest some
,\ ✓.
Arte ,
£ |j
I • :• •
I GAZED AT II ICR CRITICALLY.
: thing?" and she looketi at me plead
| ingly. |
"Yes," I said quietly, "we will help
one another. Have you heard from
Clare to-day 7" I continued.
Her hand went to her pocket.
"Why, yes," she said; "a letter came j
as I was going out, 1 have not read it
yet."
"Would you oblige by doing so, as
you have it with you?"
She drew an envelope from her pock- i
et, opened it, and smoothed the letter
out. As she. read it, a 6mile came ovet
her face.
"My dear doctor," she exclaimed, "do
you think one so young as Clare will
make you happy?"
"Did she not settle it in Simla, years
ago, that she. should marry nobody but
the'doc?'" I replied. "Have I mamma's
consent?"
She laughed happily.
"Really," I said, glancing at her, "1
hardly know whether I'm talking tc
Clare or her mother."
St. Croix rejoined us.
"St. Croix," I said to him, quietly,
after a minute on- so, "I luive been med
dling in your affairs —with a good re
sult," I added.
He turned vxith a glad look of sur
prise to Mrs Fordyce.
"It is 'yes'?" he murmured.
"It's for you to say, after hearing the
doctor," she replied, softly.
"The one condition Ls," I ssiid, abrupt
ly, "that you agree to become my fa
ther-in-law!"
lie seemed to be quite, surprised; I
tendered a few simple words of expla
nation.
St. Croix planeed at Mr« Ponlurai—
*Ue was looking radiantly Ix-a-utiful -
and then tut inn rnosa Intelligent thing
he ever did in hi*life—accepted my pro
posal.—Magnet Magazine.
A Itlfflcalt Dunce.
Tho following curious nnd compli
cated instruct ions for dancing the |>olka
were publishi-d by a fashion magazine
in 1845, when a mania for that, dance
spread over the whole civilized world:
"The polka step being the same in all
the figures, we will here describe itonoe
for the. entire.
"It is executed in four pi..ts or'move
ment«:
"1. You raise the part of the left foot
behind the unkle to the commeneeiiTent
of the calf of the right leg and then let
it glide before you to the point of the
heel, at tho same time bounding on the
point of the right "foot.
"2. You are then to draw back the
right foot behind the left foot.
"3. You again advance the left foot,
giving a slight hit with the. heel, so as
to mark the measure more strongly.
"4. Finally raise the right leg, throw
ing back t he foot behind the left, leg to
about the height of the calf."—Chicago
News.
—To the last big credit of the men, it
should l>e remembered that no men l>e
lieve that, the goodness of this world
's monopolized by church members.
Unsatisfactory Diet.
A clergyman whose snlary had not
been paid for several months told the
trustees that he must have his money,
a« his family were suffering for want
of the necessaries of life.
"Moneyl" exclaimed one of the trus
tees, noted for lus stinginess, 'do you
preach for money? I thought you
preached for the good of souls."
The minister replied:
"So I do; but I can't eat souls. And
if I could, it would take 1,000 such aa
youra to make a meal." —Tit-Bits.
Wasted Energy.
"Say, who 13 that man?"
"His mame ia ICadgers."
"I know his name, but what is his oc
cupation?"
'He's a detective."
"Great Scott! I met him at a recep
tion the other evening, and after I was
Introduced to him I put in half an hour
of the hardest work of my life trying to
keep from indulging in my abominable
habit of swearing. I thought ho wan a
clergyman!"— Chicago Inter Ocean.
A Winter Observation.
How hard It Is to tell if Fortune's faco
Will smile on worth, or tjrcot it with a
frown 1
Tho Idlo boy slides lißhtly o'er tho place
Where grown-up cautiousness slips and
falls down.
—Washington Star.
IIK TKAVELEL) ON.
f wi
Mil
Tramp (trying to be funny)— Hello,
mister; what do you raise here besides
I turnips, squashes, pumpkins and so oil V
Farmer (grimly)— Well, we some
i times raise dcadbeats, and if you don't
j travel on purty lively I'll »diow jou
I how it's done.—N. Y. Tribune. ,
i 1
HIS GRAVE OFFENSE.
He Trlrd to Outdo tho K*l>rr and St
llutl to Flep.
It is leze majesty in »■ rn y t..out
do the war lord in any:: That :< . j
Otto Schoen, a young Berlin arehiu I
high {family fled from his native lan
lately ia fear of the wrath of his em
peror. says the Cleveland Plain l>ealer
The facts iu this singi ar cat are ai
follows:
Schoen was emplo\ ed to p'an and in: •
a magnificent rtstiuiatil .. ! i
hall near the kaiser's |>u!ace at I* ■' him
Without intending disrespect, be drew
plans which provided r a buiidi- tr v
story higher than the emperor's. When
the ' u tiding authorities learned of tfai«
they stopped the work on Seh»
building, telling him be wasbeside h'rn
Mltwitll impudence to e ream of [nt .
up a structure that sh uld overt p thi
palace.
That day, while at dinner in a rt s
taurant, Schoen aired his injur, d feel
ings, bluntly declaring the cor. in to!
the authorities wsa InboMM. "i":s aexi
day hew a - summoned before the lieute:
ant of police of that district, w!io t«H
him that his remark in the restaur:;!:'
had been overheard and ihat 1. • sr<>
guilty of having insulted his er.ipcr. r
the penalty for which was imprison
ment and possibly worse.
Schoen was frightened and asked tht
lieutenant, what he should do. The lat
ter assured him his safest course wool
be to fly to a foreign country. S
Schoen, leaving his v ife an ! f in'!
took ship at Antwerp and sailed f >t
New York. He bdicrai he wmM tun
been ruined awl liis property confis
cated had he remained in Berlin.
GLASS MADE BY MACHINERY.
Hednolnar tlie i'rU-r of I'iniKlicri Prod
uct nnd Averting Trouble.
Machinery is beginning to piny a very
important jxirt in flint a::; 1 , green-gla.-.-
manufacture, says the Pittsburgh 1 ; -
patch. Tlie introduction of one ma
chine atone for simplifying the making
of fruit jars was instrumental in re
ducing the price list last fall, and iu
further application is expected to b
a large factor in the settlement of vv . ge
this year. To give an idea of the revo
lution which is impending in thi
branch of the glassware business, am
firm turned out last Septeml er, with j
live machines, 32,000 jars a day. For (
a month past the four additional ma- |
chines have lieen iu use, and the daily
output, has been 57,0<)0 jars. There i.-
now being built on additional tank
furnace, which v\ ill double the capacity
of the works and bring up the daily
production to over 100,t>00 jars, or say,
30,000,000 jars per year, which will be
fully one-third of tlie entire fruit-j:u
production of the United States. Lamp
the foot and bowl of w liich were fornu r
lj- jointed by hand, and often very im
perfectly done, are now made by ma
chines, which form the oil fount and
foot at one operation and out of one
piece of jjlnss, and the hasp is prac
tically indstruotiUle. One firm of
punch tumbler blowers has hitherto t*u>
ployed a few hand blowers, each liaud
turning out about t>oo tumblers per
turn. In the same factory tenmachine.-
will soon be at work, which w ill give an
output of 100,000 punch tumblers per
day.
TREE SAP.
Idea Tliat It Itlses mid t-'nlln with the
Sap is a watery llniil found in the in
terior of the cells of plants and trce»,
and contains dissolved or suspended in
it the materials required for the lift
and growth of the cell. Ihe idea that
in winter the sap goes down into tin
roots and in the spring rises again is
quite erroneous, nays a reliable au
thority. Trees and plants arc full ol
watery sap all the w inter. The phenom
ena of freezing in the case of trees and
plants ure but little understood. I tu
rnip in leaves and in smaller branches
is often frozen. This is seen especially
in the twigs of hickory, which in very
cold weather are as brittle as glass,
though the same twigs at a higher
temperature cannot by any possibility
be broken with the hands. For various
causes the water contained in the cells
only begins to crystallize at some de
grees below the ordinary freezing point.
This is partly due to t"lie chemical com
position of the sap, which contains
Mirlous salts, starch, etc., in solution.
Besides this the bark of trees is a Ixid
conductor of heat, and the interior tem
perature of trees and plants is general
ly higher in winter and lower in sum
mer than that of the surrounding at
mosphere.
Nummlmii Jurymen.
Some American juries are inclined
to be eccentric iu their verdicts, but
they cannot hold a candle in t his regard
to the juries of Russia. The Literary
Digest declares that the most incredible
stories are told of Russian jurymen.
Thus, the foreman of a jury declared lie
would not send a poor fellow to prison
because it happened to be his (the jury
man's) birthday. Another jury had
agreed upon a verdict of gui'ty when
tlie, church bells began to ring. They
revised their verdict liceause a holiday
had begun. A burglar was allowed to
go free, because the man whom he had
robbed had refused to lend him money.
This, iu the opinion of the jury, was a
direct incentive to crime.
The Sensitive C'lieeUhone.
It is a mistake to suppose that the tip
of the tongue is the most sensitive part
of the body. Those engaged in polish
ing billiard balls or any other substance
that require a very high degree of
smoothness invariably use the cheek
bone as their touchstone far detecting
any roughness.
IIIw \ttrnm Kacnpe.
At an experience, meeting of bachel
ors on<- of the most popnlor of tlie for
eign lot confessed that years before be
had lalwred under the delusion thnt he
was in love, nnd that he had cserqwd
matrimony through the success of a
rival.
Cause for Activity.
"What is Bex ton hustling around so
in tlie interest of a,curfew ordinance
for?"
"His boy saw him coming out of a
variety theater the other night and
went home and told about it."—ln
dianapolis Journal.
Vwy TautMllzlnit.
' "Have you thought of that man's
name yet?" signaled one deaf-mute to |
another.
"No, 1 haven't," was the reply. "I
can't think of it to save my life, al
though 1 have it right at my finger's
end."—N. Y. World.
From Ilrr I'olut «»f \ low.
"That was a pretty hat that Mrs.
Jones wore last night," lie suggostod.
"Pretty?" she exclaimed, with in
finite scorn. "Why I hap|>cn to know
that that hat only cost ten dollars." —
Chicago Post,
Sl»c Wttatcd Moro
i'oiuJ Mother—My tit iu\ ure you foe I
tug any better?
llolly—l duiuiu. Is the. jelly all gone?
Fond .Mother—Yea, my dear.
Dolly—Well, 1 think I am well enough
to tret udiiuw. —Comic 11» iiie Joui'jiul.
X<» ILi
SHE RtMEfwi-'EREt).
Uiica 1.. or,;t Vi s -n Vurucl
Dui.n ti>e Cat.
Apropos of Wttthil • .. whose birth
day has just I en h: uted, a quaint
storv is told c >:•-■( r..i an old mammy
who \.;ls i!i. oxcred in his native town
of Fredieksbr. g a.. v\ i o could not
have been b.ir: \\ h< i the penerai died.
Mrs. Pickett, the w Mow Of Gel. Pickett,
of southern f.'iue, t dit \\ ith a hearty
appreciation ot it.- i.. rito: -She was an
old woman in a linsey-woolsey petti
er : t and a bright turlran. :• lwe l und
her i < .e of o;?r j :t:r.ts.m >:nd theeity
and took a l.'xhU; picture of her. One
of the compa.iy asked her in fun if she
remembered V... 'i you sie, she
w .s very old. ' 'Deed and 'deedy I d.\
11 I •he answered, glibly. 'Perhaps
you were one of hi rur . r !-.t ■r.u-'."
'Dot am jess so. missy- I EU. -e<l h'm
when he v sis alt t'e miteer V.iby.' 'Oh,
then, you must have i nown alv-ut the
< herry tree?' But she dhl rot, and it
was explain ;l to her and she listened
with much Interest. 'I a don' know
iiothin' 'l out no cherry tree, missy, but
I 'mehers V.actly when his maw found
him in her room an" de gas a-biunin',
'cause he don turn it on.' 'Did he tell
her he turned it on, mammy?' '"Deed
an' doedy, he did, foh he tiebber tole no
lie.' 'But mammy, there wasn't any gas
in tlios ilays.' 'Yes, dere was, honey;
I 'i!.cniV>ers dat, U-o.* It was decided
that old mammy had been the servant of
some George Washington, but not our
own immortal George, and she was left
to enjoy her peculiar delusion undia
i turbed."
WILD HORSES.
Coaxing Domestlcatetl Animula Away
From Home.
Wild horses are getting to be quite
numerous again on tho flats in the
Texas Panhandle and iu Beaver county.
They are '.. ry troublesome, says the
Cincinnati Enquirer, ;i.-. they lead away
the horses belonging to the cow men
and grangers, and when a domesti
cated horse once gets with a wild bunch
it is an all day's j ;b and sometimes it
takes several da\ - to catch him. Tlie
laziest old erowbait alive, or the gen
j t1..~r family horse, after associating for
a few days with these mu. tangs, seems
; to forget his raising; all the old-time
I wildness of his forefathers seems to
| crop out in him, and, although formerly
he may have allowed himself to be
caught anvwl -re, he will not then per
mit a man to get. within a half mile of
him. Alxnit the only way to reciver o
liors.e of this kind is to run the entire
bunch, down and corral them, or to rope
the ones wanted. Nearly all our stock
men have lost horses in this mnnneir,
and the mustang, instead of being
looked upon with respect ar.d with cov
etous eyes, as in the past, is now con
sidered an intruder and a pest, and is
shot down whenever opportunity of
fers. Since hoires became so cheap
there is no object in catching mus
tangs, and this once valuable repre
sentative of the best friend of man is
now classed in the same category as the
coyote and other "varmints."
PENNSYLVANIA FOX-HUNTING.
Kniclaii<l'n Packs nra<l Ilnutn Have
A merit* nil Imitator*.
While there is a general impression
that Americans do not go in for fox
hunting: ui do the Englishmen, it is by
•ui odds the i!. pinner wmter KjXjr:
I'ennsvlvalji.) •- - the New . York
Times. There are in ill southenfnem
counties as hue packs of hounds a.s c.ui
be shown in England, t hough fewer iu
number, and some horses that hold
their owu against the best of English
importations over us "stiff" a country
u.-. that hunted by She famous Quorn
pack, of which the carl of Lonsdale is
master. At a recent- run 150 couples of
hounds were out and about- "00 riders.
Just now there is consternation among
owners of the Pennsylvania hound® be
cause of outbreak of rabies in tlie '
Strafford lluntTkenuel , which has ne
cessitated the killing of the entire pack
of 23, many of them dogs imported
from noted English packs. A rabid
ldt one of the bounds a few weeks ago,
and this dog, after a recent run, at
tacked other occupants of the kennels.
So all were killed as u matter of safety.
There is fear that other hounds in oth
er j f acks have been bitten, and that an
outbreak of hydrophobia throughout
the hunting district may follow. All
possible precautions to prevent this dis
aster have been taken, and hounds
which lifive been exposed ore to be iso
lated for a time.
CHANGES COLOR EVERY YEAR.
\\ onmn in Irclaiitl tt liine Skin 1*
Altcrnatel; UlueU nod tV lilte.
Medical societies in Great Britain and
Ireland are just now devoting no little
attention to a remarkable human freak
who now lives in one of the western
Irish counties. The woman was l»m
with a black skin in Jamaica about 43
years u^ r o. She says that'she remained
with t'he. characteristic negro color to
her skin until she was 2" years of age,
when she began rapidly turning wtolite,
the complete transformation being
made in less than three months. She
remained white for about a year, and
then turned black agidn, but. more
slowly than the white transformation
bad come upon her. When this second
change in skin color took place she
was sure that she had returned to licT
original color, and would remain that
hue during the balance of her life, but
it was only a few short month* until
she was again as white as an albino.
Since that time the. changes have year
ly taken place, the woronn being black
one summer and white the next. Sho
suffers, no [Miin whatever.
Trolley to the Pyramid!.
One of the results of the British occu
pation of I'gvpt iu the Introduction of
modern Inventions and conveniences in
that ancient land. The "tramways" in
Cairo are run by electricity, and a con»
cession has just lw*en grant«-d for o
trolley line from Cairo to the Pyra
mid".
Fit for a I'oor M»»n*a Wife.
Anxious Mother —I am greatly sur
prised, my son, to find that while you
were aw ay you became engaged. I hope
you have not acted hastily, lias tho
young lady you have selected the
proper qualifications fur a poor man's
wife?
Adult Sou—Yes, indeed, mother.
She's got $50,000 in licr own right.—N.
Y. Weekly.
A Grntlu Hint.
Bobby—Popper, w hat is the w ire noil
trust?
Mr. Ferry—l don't know whether 1
can explain it to you exactly. Perhaps
jou had better ask your mother. And
also tell her, by tlie way, tliatyour ]>oor
father said lie had been trusting a wire
naiLtO act as a suspender button for the
last three days.—Cincinnati Enquirer.
# {luotlut; MHUIIUA.
Teacher —Tommy, w hat do you mean,
you naughty boy?
i Tommy—l ain't doin' nothin*.
Tunclie.r Why, Tommy I you
whistled; 1 heard you.
Tommy—My mother says yoti
shouldn't believe all you hear. —Boston
TraiiacruiL