VOL. XXX.
ARE '' ARE
you -«•»; YOU
ALIVE "toarv AWAKE
TO YOUR TI IAT SH R EYV D
OWN INTEREST ? "leftl BUYERS OF CL< > TH
DO YOU REFLECT Ts INC INSIS'i UPt»N : A\-
•"•THAT YOU SHCULD ING THE GARMENTS OP
HAVE rHE LATEST AND Till. M.\Nv FAt '! I Ki-R
BEST THAT THE LAN- , .Et<i:. • V:MLRII
UFACTURE PRODUCES? |Ai . CLE HA STAMPED/
We do not force upon you t . • • i ii'-r .na cois
which differ as "Skiin Milk dots ir< ■ri
We handle the best at lowest ;>< b'i
DOUTHETT > UAil AM,
New Clothing H<,u -.
Cor. Main and Cunningham Sts., -:- Sutler, I'n.
Never Misrepresent Hor Try to Get Rich off oae Customer, and Advertiie
What Yoa do Met Have.
RV have something to i-ay now tla' s ;it- you. f.sst winter when
nj»§ were dull and manufacturers were pre?siii !. r t i'sh «ie etrm '. some
• pedfel b*i i?ftins *b;ch we are gr.ing '<> give you wl ' th y last. I.ook
now quick. We have 4(5 very pretty Top Busies ti: •• crdinanly would be
worth SBO each; that we are selling a! SGS each; m i a lot worth -<7O which
we are selling at $55; a lot worth $55, we are selling r.t s4i; a lot of nice
Buck boards worth $45. we oie selling for $35; a lot o! v. it l• ■; !;:r ness worth
$22. we are selling at $lB per donble set; another lot w< rth we a'e sel
ling at S3O; a lot of bugpv harness worth SO, we ore selling at $4.25 per set;
another lot worth $lO, we are eeliig for $8; another worth *l3, we are tel
ling for $10; another worth sl6, we are -riling for sl3; another worth S2O,
we are selling for sl6, <fcc.; buggy coliors worth $l5O, we r.re selling for
$1 00; team collars worth $2 00, «e are selling for ?1 'J."> < -ch Tbe alnve
•re not in our regular wholesale line and wont to ci< :beci ou! mrike
room, therefore these prices only Ftaiid while the advrrUcenient stands We
cannot get any more at these prices. Therefore come l: w and don't .-land
•round all summer and then come and inquire fi-rtbem !or they will be gone
and that very quick too. They are hi re now, and many more I :.rgeina not
above named. We want you and not somebody <•!«> i - v.- h in. Hurry
np now gets move on and very much oblige vorirself. ke?pectfully.
S. B. MARTINCOURT & CO.
128 E. Jefferson St, BUTLER, FA .
A Few Doors Above Hotel Lowry.
This is a perfect picture of our new
Furniture and llousefuniisliing (roods
house. One of the largest and most
complete stores of the kind in Western
Pennsylvania.
FURNITURE:
We hav< all kinds, P;t1( r Suites, Bcilr<.>- m
Suites, Hall Racks, I>i h and I'ook Cases,
Side Boards, Dining Tables, ( li.-irs, Baby
Buggies, Reft
QUEEN,S\V ARE:
Decorated Dinner Seis, Tea Sets, Pla'n
White Dinner Sets, Dn orated and Plain
White Toilet Sets from $4.50 to SIO.OO.
Ask to see our Toilet Set at ss.oo, cheapest
and best in the world. Lamps, &c.
HOUSEFURNISIIING GOODS:
Cook Stoves and Ranges, Tinware, Wood
en Ware, &c. Don't fail t<» see our new
range the "Perfect,"one of the best cook
stoves and ranges on the market for tne
money. Every stove warranted.
Campbell & Templeton,
t\\js y H ;v: '
; ; HAYH.VEaf
* HAY- FEVE R
v COLD" HEAD MFSS
Kifft Cream Balm i* not a liquid, tnvff or pmr<l< r. A/rplied into the />■ .•''•. '* it it
■ * quickly ah tor bed. JI ctr-niuea th« head, allay* inflammation, hcaln _ _
Klßfl the lore*. Bold by ilrugoints or »cntty mail vti rcrrij.i of pr'>>. L
9UC ELY BROTHERS. 5G Warren Street HEW YfIRK. OuO
THE BUTLER CITIZEN.
BTHE KIND i
| THAT CURES"
■I ' n
B X Y B
1 Kidney Trouble ior 12 Years,!
■ Completely Cured, j|
BDaXA SARSArARrLLA Co., 1=
B Mes**S:—For lfc year? I h*v~ b**n ha-: } ■
s= tfn-r*r-A Tnnihlo. Two yqg*a=
Maco I had 44 l.:» which »• i r -==
gmy hark. A 1 timra i? wls hard -a rk for n • tO|rrtH|
== around. LmC I J lat th' r atta< kof " I.a ===
■ l*rippi , M wr. h left r w bad I could
hardly crt arrcu« t h«* t .>om. Out mcr- ■
ggchini n:e to try c bottle o/
* DANA'S I
I SAItSAPAIULLA 1
|BI lid an. and have taken three Jof P AR-mm
SSAP.VRILM and or> U>r f DANA A PILLS, g
Sand lam COM PKETF.I/V CI BKD.=
■ Xotninlilr with Kidney*; no ba«k*■
= »fhe} aoiid appetite, ana I n»vcr fe!t !>et- -—•
Mtrr In myltfe. You may paMiah ILU J you wiib.gg
Hucverv word in true.
=== Your- truly.
&j| Morxiatown* N. Y. '»vL"li)Y iiLTJiy. =j
Gettr —W* are penomlij acquainted wthMi Bi
fiSterrr, and know hisaUtemer.ta are tren* f|
■ Heaped! u-y, A. i.e. C. F-
§ Dana Sanaparilla Co.. Belfast. Walne. m
fet-d. For prices and terms Ad
dreitj,
.J. W. MILLER,
131 Mf re-r Si, Batier'P».
A $25 Goia Watch
FREE- M
With ev.rv d"ila r s w< r'h of goods
purchased, yon are iicsh ou
the length of lira •it v. i 1 ake tic
watch to lun dow as 1 'he one
gat.-bing the m.&rest wiil gel the
wutch. In cate ul a tie the out) bav
ing bought tbe most will get il
The watch will be etni:ed .June
13ib at ninf o'clock A. M , atifi no
goi toir.g will be taken ter that
time.
We cat, i. o ;av u in- ney id
ev. ry a: tic.-* i.i our B'.<. of Cl iii.-
iug. !lu»h, : 1 Geat- Fornishisga.
THE BACKET STORE,
12 > S. M. i Sr. Hutler. P .
STYLES
READY.
A.
YOU WILL CI.KTAi LY
H \VK /\ . • IT MADE T< •
ATTEND THE V.«' ;RLD"S
FAIR. VOU CAN, AF
FORD IT, WHEN VOU
SEE THE SPLEN
DID ASSORT
MENT OF
MATERIAL,
AND THE MOD
ERATE PRIC E AT
WHICH WE MAKE
YOU A SL IT THAT IS
CORRECT TO TIIE LATEST
DECREE OF FASHION.
Tailoring Establishment.
C. cS: 1).
ALWAYS
Take into c» isHider tiou tha' ni'>nt-v
taved is as good a 8 money i arned.
j Tbe bint way to have money is to
buy (rood goods at th • right price
The only re..-on that our trade is
increasing constantly is the fact that
we handle only goods of first quality
and sell them at very low prices
We have taken unusual care to
provide everything new in Hats and
Furnishing Goods for thi.~ season,
and as we have control of many
especially good articles in both lines
we can do you good if you come to
us.
We confidently say that in ju tice
to themselves till purchasers should
inspect our goods.
Visit us,
COLBERT & DALE,
242 S. Main street,
Butler, Pa.
!. \IcJ! \KL\,
Insurance ;>n«l Real Estate Ag't
17 F.AST J KFI KKSON ST.
BUTI.EI?. - PA.
fISPKMSBEIteIfitJi•
iJkiit/ti 'lialfti r l ' A.u oit,N,.m Yoriroit»
TWO OIU ECTIOXS.
How They Caused a Hitch in b
Wedding Ceremony.
HE cards were
J out for tbe wed
_ *\\ dinjr. Thetror.s
--'/ \ ma n ' l ' lu
I fc. 1[ V \ rinff. The com-
)| pnny had as
sembled, and
iJT ]1 \ I the final
*jn' ■' c )| J touches were
f'A \ ■ r being' put to the
111 , A f», • f tjride's veil.
I f j /" The maid • !
\l&.\ r' -s honor and the
/ f j . four bride -
I I ; - 11; lids were s-.i
--) I J pe ri n tending
L /gaaewthis ceremony
*£*** <-> All these fe , irls
had graduated together two years be
fore, and had agreed then to fill these
relative positions at the first wedding
among them.
"There:" said Nettie Valentine, -one
of the pink maids; "It think that U
quite perfect; don't you, girls?"'
"Yes, lovely," murmured Tbersea
Evans, one of the blues. "You mu .t
go down now, of course," as an im
patient knock came at the door. "Let
us sav good-by to Pauline —I'auline
Desmond for th.; last time."
"I do wish, dear." said Fannie Gra
ham. the maid of honor, "that you
could have made up your mind to in
sist that he should take your name in
stead of you his. 15ut you will write it
with a hyphen, won't you?"
"Of course, girls; we all promised,
and I certainly will."
"And you won't forget what else you
promised?" said several voices.
"Xo, girls. You may depend on me.
Yes, mamma, I am ready ' ■
Five minutes later the bride and
groom stood at the head of the long
parlor, in front of the bay window
where the clergyman had been await
ing them.
Frank Laev was a fine young fellow,
and they made a handsome couple. To
be sure one of her bridesmaid.s (the
blue one who had kept on her eye
glasses) had her opinion of Pauline,
in that she preferred the Greek profes
sor; but then, you know, the professor
was pretty old. and. as ho never talked
in society, it was not generally sup
posed that he understood English as
well as Greek.
Then there was Mr. Midas, thought
one of the pink bridesmaids. Pauline
was a simpleton there. But, after all,
it was jti.st as well, and when he tools
notice again—
At this point the pink maid's atten
tion came back to the sentence the min
ister was just finishing.
" —so long as you both shall live?" 1
It was the bride's turn to say: "1
will," as the groom had just said it.
I'auline stood erect. She raised her J
dark eyes and fixed them upon the face
of the questioner. She was pale, but
it was with an earnest purpose, not
with nervousness.
"I will do all these thiags." she re-1
plied, "except that I will not obey
bim."
Everyone was taken by surprise, ex
cept the five girls who stood about the
bride There was a profound bush
"t AM THIS BRAVE BRIDE."
while the clock on the mantel ticked
ten times.
"Frank," she said, turning to her
half-made husband, "you do not wish
in» to make this monstrous promise
to drag this relic of the middle age—
of the times when women were slavei
and plaf things of men—into our lives}
You do not expect this of me, Frank?"
("Because if he does," murmured the
tall usher to the pink bridesmaid, "he
is very sanguine, and will apparently
be disappointed—like England, you
know.")
"It is I that you wish for, not a serv
ant; is it not so, Frank?"
"Certainly, Pauline; you need-not say
it; but why couldn't you have arranged
this quietly beforehand?"
"Because I wished to do it now—My
friends," she said, turning to the as
sembled guests, "am I not right? It is
for you, my sisters, that Ido this. A
recent writer has said: 'Would tl at
some woman would have courage 'C
make a scene, if necessary, on such a
occasion! It would be a glorious seme,
if ehe possessed the courage and dignity
to refuse for the sake of outraged
womanhood to pronounce tlio mon
strous promise. It would be woman's
splendid declaration of independence.
The brave bride would be the heroine
of the hour. She would do more than
a thousand sermons to wipe out this
blot upon the nineteenth century!'"
("(Quoted correctly," whispered the
blue maid. "What a memory Pauline
has!")
"I am this brave bride, my friends—
Now we will go on," she said, turning
to the minister.
The service proceeded. The bride
did not spoil her point by refusing to
be given away. The vows were made
(leaving out the obnoxious word).
Then came the nervous moment while
the best man fumbled for the ring. He
had not lost it. Ho gave it to the man
who gave it to the woman, who gave it
to the minister, who gave it to the
man, while the nineteenth centarv
stood by and consented. The groom
placed it upon the finger of the bride
and hesitated over the words he was to
say:
"With this ring 1 thee wed —"
"And with all my worldly goods I
thee endow," prompted the minister.
"No," said Frank, abruptly. "Not
all of them."
The clock ticked again.
"My friends," said Frank, turning to
the company, "my brothers, 1 call you
to my support. Why should a man be
expected century after century to
make this monstrous promise? Why
should we give all our property to our
wives?"
("It's not a bad plan, sometimes,"
said Uncle Canticld. of Canfield, Drew
Jt Co., but nobody heard him.)
"Why should a man
be expected to bring home all his mon
ey, like a model little boy in a Sunday
school book? Let us throw off the
yoke, and our wives will respect us the
more. There are nine hundred and
seventy-eight employments open to
women where there were formerly but
six. They are able to get worldly goods
for themselves. Pauline. I know it is
me that you wish for, not my money."
("It is I," murmured the blue maid,
mechauically.)
("Mean old thing!" said the pink maid
to the tall usher. "Mr. Midas wouldn't
have done so.")
"You can go on now," Frank said to
the minister.
"Wait Perhaps you had better not
go on," said the bride's mother, nerv
BTTTLTCR. FA., FRIDAY, JUNE 23, 1893.
"I should think not," said Aunt So
phia, severely, to the bride's sister.
"You know I never approved of your
forms, and you see what comes of them.
They had better wait a couple of weeks
and join some church where they don't
have their*."
"I wish they would," whispered one
guest to her sister. "They d have to
Live back tho present-;, and that pic
'.; ;'<j I gate would just do fiJr Fannie
Warner. Her wedding's to-morrow."
"And perhaps tho caterer will take
back the wedding-cake," mused an im
pertinent youth, "and that will do for
that same Fannie. But we'll have to
have the salads. I'm awfully hun
gry."
"Fun, isn't it?" said the tall usher
tt. the pink maid. "I don't often enjoy
weddings. But if they don't go on it
. _ ....I _ pity to watte t-ie minister.
Some of the rest of us might use him."
"Go on," said the groom, impa
tiently.
"Go on," said the bride, firmly.
"Go on," said Uncle Canfield from
the back of the room.
"Oh, don't," said the other pink
maid, looking for her handkerchief.
Though it be long in the telling how
those behind cried forwaid and those
behind cried back, it was only fifty
seconds by the clock. Then the rever
end Mr. Blake cnt the Gordian knot by
saying, hurriedly: "I pronounce you
man and wife." Then he went back
an I finished the service in the usual
fashion. —M. Helen Fraser Lovett in
Lippincott's Magazine.
Novel Official t'liatonx In Georgia.
In olden times Georgia's governors
swore themselves in. They did not
have a chief justice or any other offi
cial to administer the oath. They sim
ply picked up a Bible, repeated the
form in first person saying: "I solemn
ly swear." etc., and they kissed the
b j!; They did this in the presence of
the general assembly, and it was a
solemn ceremony. Time passed, that
custom died out, and governors had the
chief justice of the state to repeat the
oath and they would kiss the Bible.
When Gen. Gordon was to be inaugu
rated the second time, Chief Justice
Bleckley suggested that he get up and
swear himself in. It was the old style
and it was a good way to do it said the
justice. Gen. Gordon acted on the ad
vice, swore himself in, and was criti
cised for doing it Some of the papers
said he was in such a hurry that he did
not wait for Judge Bleckley to admin
ister the oath.—Atlanta Constitution.
Stub End* of Thoaght.
Tliey who marry where they do not
love are apt to love where they do not
marry.
A misspent life is like a wasp. One
does not feel the sting until he gets to
the end of it.
Pleasure must be always well
dressed. Happiness never thinks about
its clothes.
If the earth stopped to rest it would
drop out of space.
Doctrine brings no sinners to repent
ance.
A liar will break all the other com
mandments if he gets a chance.
Trust a woman's judgment, but not
her feelings.
Wrinkles come to stay.
God makes character; man makee
reputation.—Detroit Free Press.
Me fore the Jeweler's Window.—
Fledgiing "We'd better take our
money an' buy a diamond to cut the
( ass." Jail Bird— "What's der matter
wid a brick?" —Jeweler's Weekly
—"Dasher had his name presented
to the club just before his wife died.
Did they notice her death in any way?"'
Twifnys —"Oh. yes; they black-balled
her husband." —Inter Ocean.
CHANOES in extradition law
In Karl? Modern Timet* Political Kefugees
Were the Only One* Sought.
It is a remarkable fact that in the
early cases in modern histo-y it was
always f<sr political offenses that sur
render was claimed, though at present
it is almost the only ground of refusal,
says Chambers' Journal. But such an
offense does not mean a crime commit
ted from political motives, but one
committed during a time of civil war
or open insurrection. The French gov
ernment in ISSO refused to extradite
Hartmann, who was suspected of plan
ning the plot against the czar at Mos
cow in December, 1879. When the
Swiss government in November, 1800,
demanded the extradition of one Cas
tioni, who had shot a member of the
ministry, tho English judge gave him
the benefit of this exception in the
treaty. Charles 11., as is well known,
pursued some of the murderers of his
father with relentless hate, and in 1001
concluded a treaty in Denmark in
which the latter agreed to deliver up
on requisition all persons who had
been concerned in the murder of
Charles I.
The states general of Holland sur
rendered some of the regicides without
treaty stipulations; but in 1002 they
agreed to give up any persons excepted
froin the English act of indemnity and
all other persons demanded by the
English government. James 11. put
this treaty in force in demanding tho
surrender of Burnet, not yet a bishop,
but acting as private secretary to the
prince of Orange. He describes it very
fully in his "History of His Own Time."
He stated that the king's principal
cause of anger against him was a re
port of his intended marriage to a
wealthy lady at The Hague, and pro
ceedings were set on foot in Scotland.
Burnet, however, got wind of the mat
ter before the news of it reached d'Al
beville, then English ambassador, and
petitioned for naturalization, which
was readily granted. When the am
bassador demanded his banishment,
Burnet claimed protection of the states
as a naturalized subject. The demand
was subsequently repeated in more
forcible terms, but the states refused
to surrender him.
SECRETS OF SNAKE-CHARMING.
Saakn Are Alarnard l>jr Oulck Motion*,
and Hence Appear to Hr Fascinated.
A snake-charmer can, by a simple
motion of his hand, make a moving
snaka stop instantly, writes G. It
O'Reilly in St. Nicholas.
"The reason is this: A snake is a
most timid animal. His eyes, as has
been said before, while dull to color
and fomi, are quick to motion, es
pecially if it is rapid. If any large
thing moves very quickly too near him
he gets frightened and scurries off;
while at certain distances the motion
stops him if he is moving. He stops
from astonishment, fear, or the wish to
sec what »» It that moves. Hence, he
glides on, unconscious of the charmer's
presence near him so long as the latter
remains perfectly quiet; the snake
doesn't know him from a tree or a
rock. But when he gives a sudden evi
dence of life, the snake is astonished
and immediately remains stock-still.
"In India and Africa the charmers
pretend the snakes danco to the music,
but they do not, for they never hear it
A snake hits no external ears, and per
haps gets evidence of sound only
through his skin, when sound causes
bodies in contact with him to vibrate.
They hear also through the nerves of
the tongue,-but do not at all compre
hend sound as ive do. But the snake's
eyes are very much alive to tho mo
tions of the charmer, or to the moving
drumsticks of his confederate; and, be
ing alarmed, he prepares to strike. A
dancing cobra (and no other snakes
dance) is simply a cobra alarmed and
in a posture of attack. He is not danc
ing to the music, but is making ready
to strike the charmer."
INDIA'S INFINITE VARIETY.
iier Society ami Her Betmmry (>jiupl»x »o<l
\ariod to a Defrw.
The grand difficulty of talking to ao
Englishman about India is that he Al
ways forms a picture of the place in
his mind. It may be accurate or inac
curate, but it is always a picture. He
thinks of it either as a preen delta, or
a series of sunbaked plains, or a wild
region, with jungle and river and
farms all intermixed, or a vast park
stretched out by nature for sportsmen,
and sloping- somehow at the edges
toward highly cultivated plains, says
the Loudon Spectator. It never occurs
to him that as regards external aspect
there is no India, that the peninsula,
so-called, is as large as Europe west
of the Vistula, and presents as many
variations of scenery. East Anglia is
not so different from Italy as the north
west provinces from Bengal, nor are
the Landes so unlike Normandy as the
Punjab is unlike the hunting districts
of Madras. There is every scene in
India, from the eternal snow of the
Himalayes, as much above Mount Blanc
as Mount Blane is above Geneva, to the
rice swamps of Beng-al, all buried in
fruit trees; from the wonderful valleys
of the Vindhya. where beauty and fer
tility seem to struggle consciously for
the favor of man, to the God-forgotten
salt marshes by the Runn of Cutch.
It is the same with indigenous Indian
society. The Englishman thinks of it
as an innumerable crowd of timid
peasants, easily taxed and governed by
a few officials, or as a population full
of luxurious princes, with difficulty re
strained by scientific force and careful
division from eating up each other. In
reality, Indian society is more complex
and varied than in Europe, comprising,
it is true, a huge mass of peasant pro
prietors, but yet full of princes who
are potentates and princes who are
survivals of landlords, who are in all
respects great nobles and landlords,
who are only squireens of great eccle
siastics and hungry curates, of mer
chants like the Barings anil merchants
who keep shops, or professors and pro
fessionals, of adventurers and crim
il'als, of cities full of artificers, and
of savages far below the dark citizens
of Hawaii.
THE NIGHT CLERK.
Very Useful If Ho Doesn't Wear Many
Diamonds.
There is one individual about a
hotel who is seldom seen by the out
side publie, but who occupies one of
the most responsible positions in every
hostlery. It is the night clerk.
His duties, says the Washington
Star, are, of course, not as arduous as
the day or room clerds, but they are
very responsible. The house is filled
with sleepitig' people and he maintains
over all these precious lives an indireci
and important supervision. He looks
after the watchman closely to see that
the halls are properly patroled and a
sharp lookout kept for fires. At the
disastrous Hotel Royal fire in New
York it will be remembered that it
was alleged that the great loss of life
there resulting was mainly due to the
fact that the night clerk was at the
time the fire broke out either asleep or
improperly attending to his duties, as
the flames gained such tremendous
headway before any effort was made
to arouse the guests.
The night clerk witnesses many
strange and interesting scenes and in
cidents, and could many an interesting'
tale unfold if he chose.
ROPES OF PEARLS.
They Are Now Worn by Rich Meu'l Wives
and Daughters.
When D'lsraeli, in "Lothair," men
tioned Corisande's "ropes of pearls,"
the idea seemed rather barbaric in its
splendor and merely an outburst of the
Oriental imagination of the writer.
NOT*-, however, manv society woinet
own these splendid »jng strings, each
separate pearl of which may be worth
from 8500 to 81,000. These sumptuous
chains are from a yard to a yard and a
half in circumference, and are worn
wornd once around the throat, with
the rest of the rope hanging loosely
over the corsage to the waist.
Diamonds, too, are also worn in this
gorgeous, reckless-looking fashion, the
modern "riviere." which just encircled
the throat, and which used to be
thought so magnificent, being quite
superseded by the long, glittering,
scintillating chain which "Milady"
winds once or twice around her throat,
and then leaves hanging in careless,
rich-looking fashion loosely over the
front of her dress.
A Clever Cat.
A parsonage cat, whose favorite seat
is on the study table, has found a new
use for himself. He watches his mas
ter's pen, and occasionally, when the
writer is tired, takes the holder in his
mouth. But his real usefulness is to
act as a paper weight. When a sheet
is finished and laid aside, the cat walks
gravely to it and takes his seat on the
paper. As soon as another is laid
aside he leaves the first and sits down
on the second. Sometimes, to try him,
his master lays down, on different
parts of the table, sheets in rapid suc
cession. But "Powhatan" —the cat—
remains seated, shrewdly supposing
that to bo fun, not business. When
work begins anew the cat seats him
self on the last paper laid down, and
waits for another. Thus he shows
that he watches his master's work, and
perhaps thinks it his duty to keep the
paper from blowing away.
A Profound Myitery.
The vermiform appendix is about
the only tliiug in the human structure
for whose existence science has been
unable to discover a reason. The ver
miform appendix is a small tube of
tissue about as big as half a lead
pencil and depending from the colon
or big intestine. In this position it is
apt to catch cherry pits, seeds of fruit,
and other small objects likely to in
cite inflammation. When that takes
plaoe the only way to save the patient
is to remove the vermiform appendix,
and it is so situated in the body that the
operation of taking it out is attended
with much deep cutting and conse
quently much danger
Proper Preparation.
Wiggs—l'll give you a quiet tip,
Jenkyns. that the neighbors are going
to give you and your wife a surprise
party Thursday night. Maybe I ought
not to tell you, but I thought perhaps
you might like to make a little prepar
ation if you knew.
Jenkyns—Thank you, Wiggs, old
man, I will; I'll get a double-barreled
shotgun right away.—Somerville Jour
nal
Too Smart for the Place.
"Do you know of a boy who wants a
situation?" asked a dairyman of an
other.
"Well, why, I thought you had a
good boy."
"Well, he got along pretty well, but
when I told him to go out and feed the
best cow he dumped a lot of bran in
to the pump. I thought it was about
time to let him go."—Texas Siftings.
Out of Their Clans.
Cholly—Teddie is not considered one
af us any moali.
Chappie—Why not, dealt boy?
Cholly—He was caught thinking.—
Town Topics.
Time In l'reclous.
Citticus—l wonder how it is that so
few women stutter when they talk?
Witticus —They haven't got time.—
lury.
Ketrihut ion.
Daughter—Our iceman is dead, papa.
Father—What an awful change it will
be for him'.—Judge.
WOMEN WITH MUSTACHES.
A German rrofrtior Think* That tli* l>tr
of tlir llfarried Hesnty h Conitn?.
A learned German, who has devoted
himself to the study of physiology, an
thropology and allied sciences, makes
the rather startling assertion that
mustaches are becoming commoner
among the women in the present day
than in the past. Ho says, as quoted
by the London Standard, that in Con
stantinople. among the unveiled wom
en that are to 1h» met with, one out of
ten possossesan unmistakable covering
of down on the upper lip. In the capi
tal of Spain. a?ain. the proportion of
ladies with this masculine characteris
tic is said to be quite equal to that ob
servable on the Golden Horn. An
American medical man states that in
Philadelphia fully three per cent, of
the adult fair sex are similarly
adorned. and probably the proportion
would be still larger but that many
women take the trouble to eradicate
the unwelcome growth by the applica
tion of depilatory preparations. Is
this increase in the number of women
with hair on their faces to be regarded
as a sign that the hurnun race is im
proving? Very few men, at all events,
will be disposed to consider that a
mustache adds to the charms of the op
posite sex. Englishmen, indeed, only u
generation ago, had such a detestation
of mustaches and beards that the prac
tice of shaving all hair off their face
down to their mutton-chop whisker
was all but universal. From one ex
treme our clean-shaven fathers
plunged into the other, and beards
and mustaches rapidly became the
fashion. The fashion has of late
years again been modified. Beards
are less common, but the mustache is
cultivated in England as widely a.-> on
the continent. But why should the
fair sex be visited by this infliction?
Some writers on ethnology hold that
the higher races of mankind are al
ways the hairier, and Mr. Mott thinks
that in a few centuries men and wom
en will all be clothed with hair.
SPLENDOR OF THE ESCURIAL.
Gorgeous Tomb of All Spanl-th King* Since
the Time of Charles V.
"On leaving the sacristy we descend
into the royal tomb or pantheon, for
such is the term given by the Catholic
Spaniards to a Christian burial place,"
says a writer in Harper's Magazine.
"Thiavault. placed exactly beneath
the high altar of the church, is an oc
tagon room thirty-six feet in diameter
and thirty-oight feet high. You de
scend into it by means of a staircase
whose walls are lined with green and
yellow polished jasper. The walls of
the pantheon are polished marble,
porphyry and jasper, richly ornament
ed with gilt-bronze capitals, bases and
angels, the whole executed by Italian
artists after the death of Philip 11. As
an inscription informs us. the founder
of the escurial built only a simple
vault. Philip 111. begau the present
gorgeous structure in 1017. Philip IV.
completed it and moved in the royal
bodies on March 17, 1654, after Diego
de Velasquez had, with his own hands,
fixed in its place the bronzo crueifix,
by Pedro Tacca, which he had brought
back from Italy. The octagon walls
contain twenty-six niches or shelves,
on each of which is a gray marble sar
cophagus or urn of classical shape.
On the left are the kings and on the
right the mothers of kings, from
Charles V. down to our times. In 1054
Philip IV. opened the urn containing
the remains of Charles V., and, after
looking awhile at the mummified body,
he said, laconically, to Luis de Haro:
'Don Luis, cuerpo honrado.' To which
the prime minister replied: 'Si, senor,
muy honrado.' Charles 11. also opened
this august sarcophagus, which was
again opened by Ferdinand VII. after
the French invasion, and once more in
1»7«, i.lien the aspect of the nv.:sw\y
was carefully reproduced by a painter
of Madrid, and photographs of this
picture now enable curious tourists to
carry away with them an authentic
portrait of the corpse of the great em
peror."
"THOU ART THE MAN."
A Bit of Itomuiii-F froui One of Mr. Walter
llrasant's Hooka.
Walter Besant gives usa pretty bit of
romance in his own peculiar fashion
in "The Voice of the Flying Day." The
physician was young, he says; so was
the patient. The case was strange;
none of the symptoms corresponded
with any known disease. The physi
cian came every day, and the more he
came the worse grew the patient.
Presently the physician began to sus
pect that the trouble was mental—of
the heart, perhaps—and at last he
charged the patient with the thjng.
"I believe," he said, "that there is
nothing in the world the matter with
you, but that you are in love," and,
with blushes and tears, the patient
pleaded guilty to the charge. "And
does the man know?"
"Alas," she replied, "he does not
even suspect." "Can you tell him?"
"Never." And then the. physician
pleaded with the patient that she
should tell him who it was, that a
physician is a father confessor, and
that it might relieve her to confess all
to him.
"Since you have asked me," she said,
with confusion, "come to-morrow,
then perhaps if I can, I will tell you."
And when the morrow came the pa
tient put into his hand a little slip of
paper, on which was written only 11.
Sam., xii. 7. And for fear that you
will not know where your Bible is to
look it up, 1 will tell you the words of
the text are: "And Nathan said to Da
vid, Thou art the man."
An Art G'rltlciaui.
"The audacity of ignorance is a nev
er-failing wonder and amusement,"
says a painter. "I stood one day be
fore Sistiue Madonna, rapped in rever
ential awe. Others turned away, tears
rolling down their cheeks, their hands
clasped in ecstasy. Suddenly a shrill
woman's voice broke the stillness. She
was sitting before the painting gazing
at it reflectively. "It is really a very
pretty picture," she said. "The bend
of the Virgin's arm is good."
Quarry man—Biddy!
Ilis Wife —Phwat do ye want now,
sure?
Quarry man—Pour some kerosene on
th' foir, an' make it hot, so Oi can thaw
out me dynamite.—N. Y. Weekly.
Two Bird*.
He —Will you marry me?
She—No.
He—Then will you marry Harry Saw
yer? Ho wanted me to ask you for him,
too, while I was about It.—Texas Sitt
ings.
Making Him Happy.
Tailor—l am glad you called in, sir. I
called the other day when you were out.
Travers Yes. I heard that you
called, so I thought I would come in
and order another suit. —Brooklyn Life.
Corroborated.
Miss Smilax —Mr. Bulfinch has been
complimenting me very highly; he said
I was the prettiest girl in the room.
Charlie Stringer—l know it; I never
saw such a looking set. —Jury.
Th« tilrla to lilauir.
Querieus —How do you account for
there being so many sleighing accldeuts
every winter?
Cynicus—l attribute it to the habit of
driving with one hand. —Life.
A Hollaing Idea.
Hortenso—What loudclocksyou have
on your stockings.
Lucille—Yes; they're alarm clocks
to wake nty foet when they go to sloop.
—Puck.
FOR THOSE GOING ABROAD.
A F«* »% tv t!ir Correct Proßna«U
-tlnn <>f l.ujlUh Naiues.
For th • benefit of tno»c who expect
to cat.-li (.heir lirst l-ondon M'OMin this
year, a:n! who would like to rattle off
a few titles with at leant a reasonable
assumption of familiarity, the Bich
rnond rimes reprints tic following
"hanc volume" dictionary. Lord
Choltr.. :. !> I. . s i.u.ue i., always pro
nounc.l except I. vulvar people.
"Chumly." Altcrgaveuny i.-- pronounced
on the -pot as it is spelt But .if any
human being "in s*>ciety" of
Lord Abt rp-avenuy othervri e than as
Lord Aher^rii-,-nny" he would be
stared at n- only an lin™l!sh ;rrande
dame "IK>rn in the purple" i-ai stare.
Again: the duke of Rutland's piace,
lie 1 voir. must be called "Beever,"
Lord Spencer's house :. >t Alt'.iorp. bxit
"Ollthorp." Marj.irik" iks i' "Varch
banks," St. .lohn is ".singeon." Itcau
champ is "Beecham." Saumarez is
"Summery," >l. C:air U v iclalr."
Lord Derby is "Iter'ij," Lord llothain
is "Hutthum," (ilaiuis. also. where
Dujieau is suppose 1 t«> hare been mur
dered by the unliable Macbeth family,
must only be pronounced "< ilahms,"
and as this is the title of the heir ap
parent to the Strathnixre [xvrajp; it is
important to lrnowthecxact i • lection.
Lady V» illoit ;liby d'Ere.uy, v. ; i» o son.
Lord Aveland. is. tbrongli l:cr, one of
the hereditary (fraud chamberlains of
England. has also an awkward n-.me.
'"Lady Jturr.sliy" is the accepted pro
nnneiutiou. although I have heard
fairly decent people call her "He
Resby." The Baroness Burdett-
Coutt-s" name is also queerly pro
nounced by the million whom she has »
in her large benevolence so greatly
helped. They call her Burdett, with
the accent on the last syllable, where
as the family prominciation is Bur
dett. Everybo<ly know s tliat Berkeley
is never, to "ears polite." pronounced
otherwise thau "Barkly"; that Leve- •
son-Gower is called "Lewsou-Gore"; j
that Featherstonhaugh is "Frees ton- ;
hay"; that Bokun is "Boone." and I
Mohun is "Moon." It is also worthy j
of note that St. Maur is always pro- I
nounced "Seymour."
RELICS OF ANCIENT HISTORY.
Record* of the Canaanlte*' Appa:il for Help [
Inradinc Israelites.
The contents of that wonderful treas
ury of antique records discovered In
1887 by a peasant woman near the
ruins of the ancient Arsinoe in upper
Egypt have now been laid before the
public in Maj. Conder's work on the
Tel Amarna tablets, comprising a
translation of the text, with introduc
tion and notes, says London Table.
Inscribed on clay tablets, subsequent
ly baked into brick and written in .
Aramaic, the ancient language of
Syria, in cuneiform characters, we
have here nothing less than a series of
dispatches sent to the Egyptian for
eign office about 1480 B. C. from the
protected or tributary kings of Canaan,
imploring assistance against various
Invasions. The most interesting are
the letters from the king of Jerusalem
and other chiefs of southern Palestine,
for in them we can trace the dis
may and alarm created by the ad
vance of .loshua and the Hebrews,
called "Abiri," and "people of the
desert." A very striking passage oc
curs in one of the dispatches to the
fugitive monarch, apparently after the
battle of Ajr.' n, in which, seeking, as
it were, to apologize for his defeat, he
speaks of the leaders of the enemy as
"sorcerers," doubtless an allusion to
the miracles of Joshua. The date of
the exodus is also shifted back to that
assumed by earlier Liblical exponents,
while tie contrary theory of Dr
Brugsch. too hastily accepted as con
clusively established, is overthrown.
PPF»RR*«H In the CM or AI u IUIUUIU.
Aluminum is gaining a place among
industrial mefcas. Lately there has
appeared in the show windows of fancy
stores a variety of articles made from
aluminum. In appearance these goods
are little, if any. inferior to silver arti
cles, and th-y are less liable to tarnish
from the action of sulphur gases. The
metal is well adapted for numerous
, things in common use, such as pocket
match safes, cigar eases, pencil cases,
and even watch ca .os. It will be more
and more itsed for these and other pur
poses as time advances. One of the
disabilities that has prevented its more
rapid introduction into various in
dustries has been the lack of suitable
solders for joining it after it has been
reduced to required forms. According
to au article in the Engineering Maga
zine, however, several recipes for
solders for aluminum working have
lately been brought out, which prom
ise to be of great value to the various
trades in which aluminum tinds a use.
The Panama Slllc Hat.
One of the greatest curiosities of the
Panama isthmus is the vegetable silk
tree, says a writer in the St. Louis
Globe-Democrat. It is a plant that
grows from fifteen to twenty feet
high, and in appearance does not differ
greatly from other trees, but the inner
bark is a perfect silky fiber, long,
smooth and strong. The natives separ
ated it by some method best known to
themselvethe process somowhat re
sembling that of beating flax. When
once it is separated and spun into
threads, it can be woven into a fabric
so elosely resembling silk that it is
difficult for anyone not familiar with
it to distinguish between the two.
This species of silk goods is in high
favor on the isthmus, and a Columbian
belle is never happier than when she
is arrayed in a gayly-colored dress
made from the trees in her father's
yard.
The Smallest I.eglslat ure.
Perhaps the smallest independent
legislative body in the world is the
single house of Montenegro, composed
of eight members —four appointed and
four elected. The upper house of the
Bermudas numbers nine, as does the
senate of Delaware. Even the tiny re
public of Andarra has twenty-four
members iu its single legislative house.
Among legislative assemblies the
United States house of representatives
is about eleventh.
A lluty Ncrlb*.
]*lrst Reporter (big daily paper)—
What's the matter?
Second Reporter—l worked for two
mortal hours over that lost child, and
spent about two dollars for candy and
toys, trying to coax him to tell what
his name was, so I could take him to
his parents and write it up. 1 bought
I'd get about a column of affectiug
scenes out of it.
"Didn't you succeed?"
"Yes, he told, finally."
"Then what are you grumbling
about?"
'"He's my own son."—N. Y. Weekly.
Worth the Money.
Patient —What do you mean, doctor,
bv this bill for a hundred and twenty
five dollars, when you came to sec mc
only four times?
Doctor—Well, 1 don't see how you
can complain, for I haven't charged
vou anything for those four visits.
Patient-—Then what is this bill for?
Doctor —Wliv. you said that you got
along better when I staid away than
when I came, so I have just charged
you for the times I've btaid away.—
Harper's Bazar.
A Good Kliuw.
Teacher —Why were you absent from
school yesterday?
Frank—'Cause it rained.
Teacher—What! are you afraldofthft
rain?
Frank— Xo'm; but Xfxy dCftqrf
Hmw'S J
25T0.30
\ 1 it I let tlt-
MiuLv Say. Wink*, my wife tellstn«
that ticw servant irirl vou havo is i
thief, un«l you'd bettor be on youi
guard
Winks I suspected as much; beet
missing all sorts of things; but she's s*
efficient aid respectful, luy wife won'i
get rid of her.
Minks -She'd send her flying if youV
use a little management.
Winks What shall 1 do?
Minks— Kiss your wife iu the darl
some night, and pretend you think it'i
the servant girl.—X. Y. Weekly.
A Hl* Check.
The two men were at the hotel table
"That's a pretty girl over there,*
said the lirst.
"Which one?"
"That one with the big check in hei
dress."
"She must be rich," was the next an
sv.er, and the second man stupidlj
wondered what relevency the remark
bore until an hour or so later he begat
to comprehend the relation bctweer
riches and big cheeks.—Detroit Frex
Pres.s
Only Human.
Mt. McSwat (reading the morninf
paper) Here's an account of a bloodj
fight between c mastiff and a bulldog
It lasted two hours, and three hundrec
men paid a dollar apiece to see it. It'i
enough to make a man ashamed of hit
country!
Mrs. McSwat —It's horrible—horri
hie! \\ hich dog whipped?—Chieagc
Tribune.
When He Was li'.Rht.
Hicks— 1 hope you don't pin yonr faitl
* to everything Brown says.
Wicks —O. no: sometimes he is right
and sometimes he is wrong.
llicks And how can you tell wher
he is right?
Wicks—Well, I'll tell you. It is a
most extraordinary coincidence, bul
it's a fact, when he is right he holds
the same opinion that I do.—Bostor
j Transcript.
i Handy to Have Aronnd.
She—You won't object to having m 5
dear mamma live with us after we art
I married, will you?
He (a young physician)— Not at all.
j In fact, she'll be most welcome.
"I'm so glad you feel that way."
"Yes; you see she is always ailing,
and I really need somebody to experi
ment on."—X. Y. Weekly.
MIL Dt'DKKDi'S MISADVEXTfRE.
It was too bad that just as ChappU
was about to cross the street a vulgai
and hungry cart horse should take 8
fancy to his lovely boutonniere. —liar
per's Weekly.
So Koom for Further Argument.
"I say it's a shame," exclaimed Mrs.
Strongmind, "for men to come home
smelling of vile tobacco! What would
you think of me, I'd like to know. If I
went about the house smoking a horrid
pipe?"
"If you did it. my dear," replied her
husband, meekly, "I would think it
perfectly rfght and proper."—Chicago
Tribune.
A Contradictory Woman.
Mrs. Limbertongue (after a quarrel)
—You are a brute! I never want tc
see your face again. I'm going home
to my mother, and I hope you'll nevei
have any luck as long as you live.
Mr. Limbertongue—Ah! Then you
have already changed your mind and
will not go home. —Texas Sittings.
Ominous Mien*.
Mrs. Wisewife (as her husband starti
out for the day)—lt looks pleasant,
dear The sun is shining, the birdi
are singing, the air is warm and the
weather bureau predicts clear weather.
You I>etter take your mackintosh, urn
brella, galoches and winter overcoat
with you to-day.—Chicago Record.
What He Didn't Know.
Little Boy (with bad cold In the
head)— Water is runnin' out of my nose
all the time.
Mamma—That's because you went
out in the cold with no hat on.
Little Boy—l didn't know it was cold
enough to burst my pipes.—GoodNewa
He Was Klght.
Chalmers—What caused Morley'l
death?
Jencks—The coroner's verdict wai
"heart failure."
Chalmers —I thought they would b«
unable to discover the cause of it; and.
you sec. I was right,—Puck.
A Convenient Arcoraplifthment.
Mrs. Hiram Daly—Why, Bridget, I
didn't know you could write!
Bridget (proudly)—Yis, mum. Me
writhin' has g<rt me inonny a place. Ol
wroite all av ine own ricommendations.
—Puck.
The Troth of Observation.
Frank—What reason have you for as
serting that Love isn't blind?
May Well, I've noticed that hl«
blandest smiles are all for the pretties!
girls.—Smith. Gray A Co.'s Monthly.
Generally.
L'pson Downcs —What is this? "A
Great Sacrilice Sale of Clothing." 1
wonder what is sacrificed?
Round de Bout—Truth, of eourse.-
Truth.
rile Way of t lie World.
When we don't spend our money we
are economical; when other people
don't spend their money they are
ttingy.—Life
She Was So Sympathetic.
A couple of men were talking about
their respective wives the other day at
a club.
"You have a very sympathetic wife.
I should say," remarked one.
"I don't know about that," hesitated
the other.
"Well, I only judge from what I saw
from my house the other morning
when you slipped and fell on the stept
as you were coming out with her.
Why, I saw her actually crying ovet
it."
The other man didn't look pleased at
all.
"Yes," he admitted, reluctantly.
"She cried, but not over my injuries. )
sat down on that confounded dog o1
hers."
"Indeed? I didn't hear him howL*
"Well. I should say not The dog
weighs—or did weigh—two pounds,
and 1 weigh two hundred."—Boston
Globe.
The Very Best People.
Husband —Have yoti completed youi
list of jjersons to be invited to the re
ception?
Wife—Yes.
Husband—You have invited only the
best people?
Wife—The very best.
Husband (examining the list)— And
these are all?
Wife —All, except the two detectives,
who arc to be hero incog, to see that
nothing is stolen.— N. Y. Press.