Butler citizen. (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, February 26, 1892, Image 1

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    VOL. XXIX.
Physician and Surgeon,
; office and residence at x» 8. Main St. Butler,
IST E. Wayne St.. office lioure, 10 to 12 M. and
1 to S P. M- I
LTm. REINSEL, m. D ,
Office and resldeuce at 127 E. Cunningham St,
New Troutmaii Bnlldintr. Butler, I'a.
B. N. LKAKE. M. D. J. K. MASS.
Specialties: Specialties;
and Sur- Eye. Ear. No* and
Butler, Pa.
rnrsiciAM and arsaKox.
Office i . NO. 46. S. Main street, over Frank 4
<;o's lU'i« Store. Rutler.ia.
Physician and Surgeon.
tic. 22 Fast Jefferw'i' M . Butler, Pa.
It , :v * permanently located at iso South Mali.
Street Butler. Pa.. In rooms formerly occupied
by Dr. Waldron.
mid Filline Painless Bxtr.iction o( Teeth
s * nss,
A Offl2T"?r'JUliei. Grocery east of Lowry
closed Wednesdays and Thursdays.
j. J. DONALDSON, Dentist.
Butler, Penn'a.
ArtiCclal Teeth ln»erted <n the latest Im
. roved plan. Gold Killing a specialty. Otnce
. \ > r hrl #ul'» Clotliuig Store.
Att'y at Law and Notary Public—Office on S.
Diamond St.— opposite the Court House—sec
ond floor.
Attorney-at-Law-Offlce in Diamond Block.
Butler. Pa.
Office—Between Postoffice and Diamond, But
ler. Pa.
Office at No. 8. Houtli Diamond, Butler. I'a.
Oflie -etonil floor. Anderson HI k. Main St,
i ear < ri.it Dense, liutler. I'a.
Office ou second Boor of the Huix.lton block.
Diamond, Butl"r. !*».. Koom No. I.
Attorney at Law, Office at No. 17, K.IM Jc'Her
hii St., Butler. Pa.;
Attorney at Law and Beal Estate Agent. Ot
flee rear of L. Z. Mltchell a office on north side
of Diamond, Butler, Pa.
Attorney-at-law. Office on second floor ol
Anderson bonding, near Court House. Butlnr.
Att'y at Law—Office on South Ride of Dtamon
Butler. I'v
Insurance ami Real Estate Ag'l
HI TJ EH Wlfim
Mutual Fire Insurance Co
Office Cor. Main & Cunningham fttg.
Alfred Wlek, Henderson Oliver,
Dr. W. Irvln. .lamen Stephenson,
W. W. Blackmore, N. Weltiel,
F. Bowman. D. T. Norrls,
Geo Keiterer. < hiis. Welihun,
JohnOrohman, John Koenin«.
V eterinary Surgeon.
Graduate of the Ontario Veterinary
College. Toronto, Cftuado,
Ur. Qable treatH all riiaeapeß of the
domesticated animals, and m?keß
rid«rlin(r, castration and horse den
tißtry a specialty. Castration per
formed wi'hout clams, and all otber
surgical operations performed in the
most scientific manner.
Calls to any part of the country
promptly responded to.
Office and Infirmary in Crawford's
Livery, 132 WeM, Jefferson Street,
li uiler Pa.
Contractor and builder in brick work, urate
and inanlrl wiling and nil Kinds of nrlck-laying
a specialty. Also dciil.-r In I .irrcl llm<*. Wam
pum loo><- lltiif, cements. Nailon.il. I'>)rtlainl
and &I 1 iietl grades In tho market. Calcined
plaster hair, Klnu's cement, fire bflcU.
I lie. white sand and jlvcr har.d. Mam oliicv :iU
. Main Kirepv, aud ail ordert left at ware houae
W'lllreC/lveVdompi ilt'llvory. Terms reasonable.
Farm F'or Sale.
A tarui. Improved, and In a litsh state of
cultivation, situate In Adams twp Hiitlercouii
ty. Pa., on the Three tiejfree road, two miles
from plank road, and two inlles from Mars
station on P <k \V. railroad. Sufficient ilmt>er
thereon to fence same; it»oo sprlnu of water at
door; In oil locality, unlca.ied, and Cvintaliilnit
fill acres. A two-story fra ..n dive ding house
Will flvfe roiiiiia aid hall, and bank barn 3«xJ6.
jmtli in excellent onler.
ALSO another farm convenient to above;
same twp.. contaliduK ®> acres, with amali
dwelling hou ;e and b irn. Ow er, on account
of age. drains to Roll and quit farming Terms
Willi** made convenient to purchaser. Call on
oj address
pi stuflice. Valencia. I'a.
Advaftiae to the Omul
Worth Looking
Our Boots and Shf.es are making
an imprest-ion "on the Hands of time."
__ , VVebelprur cußtomt ra to ruake their
"****• "'"*"—walk i» life e«sy hy fitting iht-rn wiih
W Shoes that fit their feet comfortably.
J* i e pay ppecisl attention t-> this, as no
* ' Boot or Shoe will wear weil that does
not fit properly. There is enough trouble and pain in this life without
increasing is by wearing 111 fitting shoes
All oor footwear i» selected cerelaily from the mod improved last" ns
well as quality ot j-toek etc
We keep the* kind that will fit comfortably and wear, we keep the
bei-t at the lownst prices.
We don't keep a Ladie.- Shoe* Ht SI.OO ail f-ay it is W' rth $2 00 'ha' i»
an old, old chestnut, but we do say we have a Ladies fin.- Sh< <- ».i $1 00
thpt ear.not be matched either for tftyU- o< wear, we say the (-hue o' our
Ladies entire line from $1.25, $1 50. $2.00 $2 50, and $3 00 and up t > $4.0 <)
and $4 50.
Don't you get tired of reading some fellows advertisers rits when
they say g H>d* are t eing Slaughtered at anv price to clean up. etc. thur
this or that BOTB Buot is selling at jil 00 worth $2 00 Now there is jus'
one of two thines. either they made a big profit before or not telling 'h
truth, recollect tl.e.se lib«raj fellows don't lose any money, toode are pi r
bsps dear at the low piice« Domed after you aee them and more esptciallj
after you wear them
It seems useless to quote a long list of prices ft* you Cftnoot
you st e the goo<ln. but i: voti want the ln-rt Boys iiuoH at SI.OO >->z- e 1 to
5 you ever M> a M U can g«*tit here, a Man's Boot at $1 50.Childttn s Shoes
at 25, 50 and 75 CTB . Boy V fine Shoes at 85 eta., these are straight prices no
huuibug to pull you in. neither are they sold at
SO GEItfTS om T l
Flave a lot Misers Rubbers at 10 cts a pair and they are not worth 30
cts. either, recollect we have the largest sto.'k to select from, best goods and
lowest prices, we dou't handle «ny old jobs, sold ch*ap on account of some
imperfections, but solid, new and desirable linesat the lowest price
The Price Broken
Rubber Goods Forced to go!
The greatest rubber Stale ever known
In Pi ■ogress at Bickel's!
Men's Rubber Boots $2 00.
Bo}s' Rubber Boots $L 40.
Youths' Rubber Boots SI.OO.
Child's Rubber Boot 90 cts.
Read and Wonder! Come and Buy!
Men's Rubbers 40 and 50 cts.
Ladies' Hubbers2s cts.
M ist-es' Rubbers 15 cts.
Child's Rubbers 10 cts.
Customers Delighted!
Competitors Depressed!
LttditV Buckle arctics 65 cts.
Ladie- ' < loth alsiskas 40 cfs.
Men's ( loth alaskas 50 r-ts.
l 'i rlection overs for felt 150 >ts GO cts
Rich and Poor Alike are Benefited.
Men's Kip Boots $1 35.
Bins' Kip Boots Si.DO.
Chi'd's Kip Boots 5 (Jets.
Men's Working Shoes 85 cts.
Boys High Cut Button Shoes 75 cts.
No Cobwebs 011 my Goods. I Hell
Ladies' Button Shoes 90, SI.OO and $1.20.
Misses' Shoes fine 75 and £1 00
Child's Shoes pat-tip 50 cts.
Bady's Shoes 10, 25 and 50 cts.
Remember the old saying "The ear'y bird catches the worm."
Con eto this Sale Quickly. It can't last long.
Boots and Shoes Made to Order.
BUTLER, - -- -- -- -- PEN IN'A
For 30 days only.
At less than wholesale prices.
Stock must be reduced at at once,
Big Line of Xmas Slippers,
Come and see us.
Remember the place.
347 S. MAIN ST., Opp, Willard House.
jjjsnr [Original.]
won't do it, so
Jg The words is
sued from the'lips
of a decidedly pretty, eighteen-year-old
girl; and her demeanor as she uttered
them indicated that she was not in the
pleasantest of humors.
"15ut, Doris, it is my dearest wish,"
expostulated the portly old gentleman,
who was sitting in an arm-chair by the
library table.
"I don't care if it is the dearest wish
of the president, his cabinet and all
contrress combined; I won't do it, and
there's an end of it. I'ncle, you aston
ish iue. Whatever has taken possession
of you, I arn-suro IJon't know. The idea
of your niece, Doris Wilford, marrying
a man she has never seen. It Is pre
"He's wealthy, my dear, and not
much over thirty."
"Not much over thirty! That means
he's thirty-nine if he's a day. Eighteen
from thirty-nine leaves twenty-one.
Not a great difference. He's only old
enough to be my father. On second
consideration, I believe I will marry
him, if only to have people pity me."
"Doris, this trifling must cease. Tell
me, now, ot>ce for all —will you. or will
you not, marry Vane Evarts?"
A dainty nose goes up and a dainty
foot comes down.
"Once for all, then. Uncle Cal, if the
court knows itself, I don't think I
"Very well, Doris, you know the pen
"Yes, I think I do. If hearing one
thing incessantly for three solid weeks
is not enough to make one remember
it, I don't know what is. Your penalty
isn't so terrible, Uncle CaL I think the
country must be delightful."
"At this time of year, yes; but how
about the winter months? You will
miss ;» great many good times, Doris."
"Really? Well, now, uncle, there
will be corn husk ings, singing schools,
spelling bees and goodness knows how
many amusements. I anticipate any
amount of enjoyments; perhaps I'll
even settle down into a farmer's wife.
Tome and see me. Uncle Cal, and I'll
give you all the strawberries and cream
you can eat."
•'Doris, you surely do not know how
your decision pains me, or you would
take a different course. Consent to see
Vane, at least Won't you. dear?"
But the girl shakes her head.
"I can't. I won't consent to be
thrown at any man's head. 'This is my
niece; you may take her or leave her,'
sounds well, don't it?"
Her tone is still tantalizing, but h*r
lips have a little pathetic droop and her
eyes are humid. She bends lower and
rests her cheek again ,t her uncle's;
then, without another word, she leaves
the room.
When she comes down again, which
is not until the following morning, she
is arrayed in a neat cloth traveling
dress. Her uncle is already at break
fast, but he glances up from his letters
as she takes her seat.
"You seem in a hurry to leave me,
Doris," i> all lie says at the time; but
an hour Liter, when all arrangements
have been made and the carriage drives
up, he looks down at her, as she stands
in the hail clinging to his arm, and
says, almost brokenly;
"So I am to lose my little girl. Well,
Ileaven keep you, dear. Write to me
often and don't be too obstinate."
Doris was crying, but by no means
"1 won't yield, Uncle Cal," she says,
"but 1 know who will. You will cfiax
me back inside of two months, see if
yoti don't," and, with all a woman's sat
isfaction at having the last woril, she
kisses him good-by and is driven
Pacing the floor of a sumptuously
furnished dining room is a very angry
old gentleman; seated at the table,
perusing a paper in perfect indiffer
ence. is a handsome man some years
younger; and I'll introduce them to
you as Capt. Percy Evarts, and his
son. Vane. Suddenly the sound of
footsteps ceases, and the old man faces
his son.
"You mean it. Vane?"
The paper immediately drops.
"I do, sir," li» answers.
"You are exasperating. Vane. Why
can't you see things in their proper
light? It is high time you were
married, and why won't Doris Wilford
do as well as anyone else? 1 must say,
you are hard to please."
"Maybe I am; but, father, I do claim
the right of selecting my own wife.
Miss Wilford irtay be all, more than all
you say; but sV is scarcely more than
a child und I do not love her."
"How can you, when you've never
seen her?"
"That's just it. I haven't seen her
aud 1 have no wish to see Her; at any
rate not as her prospective suitor. I
am content us I am. I'll remain so until
I meet my fate; and I have no idea of
meeting her in the form of Doris Wil
ford We've always been good friends,
father; don't let us quarrel now. Let
us drop the subject I'll give in just
so far —I am contemplating a run into
the country, and while I am there I'll
consider your proposition, and we'll de
fer a positive answer until my return."
The anger dies from Capt Evarts'
face, c*id he thanks his son warmly.
Then they both leave the house to till
their several engagements.
"Take care, SK*. you'll get your feet
muddy there!"
"How do you know?" queries the
gentleman addressed, looking first at
Lis dainty boots, then at the clear, ap
parently harmless stream bubbling be-
Death them, and finally at the sun
browned girl who is munching an ap
ple upon the opposite bank.
"How do I know? Because I tried it
myself," is the answer. "If you don't
believe it, here's evidence," putting a
pretty, mud-covered boot forward for
inspection. "I went to cross there
about half an hour since, and that's tho
result of my ignorance.
"There is a lotof quicksand right un
der your feet, almost."
"Thanks, awfully. Perhaps you can
tell me some way to get across."
"Really, I can't The question has
been troubling me for some time. I
don't know liow to get back to Uncle
"Theu you don't live here?"
"Oh, no! 1 urn visiting my uncle,
Mr. Harcourt"
"You are Miss Harcourt then, I pre
sume? My name is Vance Evarts."
A look of surprise passes over the
girl's fuce, which is fortunately hidden
at the moment by her sunbonnet
"Yes, I am Miss Harcourt," she says,
rising hastily. "1 am glad to meet you,
Mr. Evarts; but I must get back home
some way. Auntie wants me to help
gather some grapes; but I had forgotten
all about them, so good day, sir."
"Please don't go yet."
"1 must; provided I can get across
this abominable brook."
"You are angry that I presumed to
introduce myself. I beg your—"
' "O. yon needn't mindi I'm aot a bit
mad, only 1 must hurry nomc. u aear.
with a rueful glance at the clear stream,
"I wonder if there isn't a bridge some
"I doubt it Give me your hand and
I'll help you across."
"But I'm afraid of the quicksand."
"I won't let it hurt you this time.
Come, give me your hands, so! Now,
jump; now, you are all right"
"Thanks!" exclaims Miss Harcourt
in whom the reader has probably
recognized Doris Wilford. "It wasn't
a bit bad. that time. No, you
mustn't walk home with me. Uncle
Charlie might scold."
"Would he? I'm sorry; but I hope
we'll meet again before you leave,
Miss Harcourt"
"Very likely we shall, as my stay
promises to be a long one. Au rrro.r."'
Vane Evarts watches the dainty little
blue clad figure lose itself among the
trees; but not for one moment does he
dream of the thoughts that are passing
through the lovely gold crowned head.
"Well, he's not so bad, after all,"
soliloquizes Doris, as she climbs the
fence separating ?he woods from her
uncle's cornfield. "He doesn't look
very old and he certainly is handsome.
Unfortunately," smiling to herself, "he
is minus his picturesque red hair and
possesses two beautiful brown ej es in
stead of one faded blue one. I believe
I'll steal a march upon Uucle Cal, for
I wouldn't mind marrying him a bit if
I can get him to pfropose before he
learns who I really am. I must got
Uncle Charlie to work for me if I ex
pect to succeed. He mustn't introduce
me here as Miss Wilford. 1 must be
'Miss narcourt' until I go back to
Chicago. How funny it sounds. There,
thank goodness, I'm through that hor
rid cornfield at last I wonder," with
another smile, "if auntie has those im
aginary grapes picked yet? Wasn't
that a nice fib, though?"
By t his time Doris has reached the
gate of her uncle's home, and, as tea
is already spread under the trees in the
front yard, her musings must cease for
the time being.
Of course it is by accident that the
next day and the next, and the next
Doris Wilford meets Vane Evarts in
the wood; it is also by accident that he
calls upon her repeatedly, and that
she keeps her true name concealed
from him by the help of her sworn
allies. Uncle Charlie and Aunt Ethel;
but whether the result is an accident
I, for one, cannot presume to say.
Certain it is, that by some means
Mr. Evarts becomes aware of the fact
that his heart is no longer in his own
possession, but is held very closely by
a certain golden-haired sun-browned
little lady who calls herself Doris Har
court. Ho has just told her this, sit
ting by the brook where they first met
only two months ago, and is waiting
for his reply.
"You have taken mo ty surprise,
Mr. Evarts, and I really have given no
thought to the subject I am not at
all sure 1 love yon, and I must have a
little time to decide. I'll tell you next
"But I'll be in the city next week,
and from there I must go home. My
business requires it."
"You'll be in Chicago next week?"
"How nice! When I think of it
Uncle Charlie lias jnst received an in
vitation from an old college chum to
visit him there as soon as possible and
I am going with him on a sight-seeing
expedition. Could you not call upon
me there?"
"I suppose 1 might Who is your
uncle's friend?"
"Let me see," and Doris puckers her
pretty forehead into a most bewitching
"Wilmont Willis Williams no,
Wilford —that's the name, Mr. Cal Wil
Vane starts.
"I don't believe I can meet you
"And why not pray?**
"Has he not a niece, Doris Wilford?"
"Dear me! How should I know? He
may have half a dozen for all I care.
I don't see what difference it would
make, anyway."
"It would make a good deal of dif
ference, pet Doris Wilford is the girl
my father wishes uie to marry."
"Why don't you marry her? One
Doris is as good as another any day "
"Possibly. But I love only one
Dor' . and that one is you. Doris Wil
ford doesn't stand the shadow of a
chance. Won't you marry me, pet?"
"I'll tell you a week from to-day at
Mr. Wilford's, and not one minute
sooner. I must have time to think
about it 1 like you immensely, but of
loving you I'm not so sure. 15ut I am
almost frozen, and am r-oing home, so
I must say good-by."
Doris draws the soft crimson cape
more closely around her trim shoulders,
straightens the dainty sailor hat upon
her tumbled head, then walks away
some distance. Suddenly she turns and
calls back:
"Do you know Mr. Wilford?"
Vane is at her side in a moment
"I've seen him once or twice at
home. Why?"
"THen 1 suspect you had better ask
for him when you call ucxt Thursday.
I may not be there; but if I am you'll
be sure to see me."
"Doris, you are too provoking."
"Provoking, Mr. Evarts? now,
"Why do you keep mo in suspense?
Promise mo faithfully to be at Mr.
Wilford's Thursday, will you?"
"O, I don't know," impatiently.
"Promise me, or I'll not call."
Vane is standing before his compan
ion, with one hand on her shoulder, and
tho other under her chin, compelling
her blue eyes to meet his brown ones.
"You'll ask for Mr. Wilford, any
"I'll ask for Mr. Wilford, anyway."
"Then I'll promise. Now, good-by."
"Good-by," says Vane, and before
Doris is aware lie lias stooped and
kissed her lips. "Forgive me, dear one,"
he whispers. "I couldn't help it"
The next Tuesday morning a hack
deposits Miss Wilford at her uncle's
door. Mr. Wilford sees her alight,
comes forward to meet her aud almost
carries her into the house.
"So you are home at last girlie?"
"Yes, and heartily glad to be here.
I'm tired to death of the country. Even
now when I shut my eyes I can't see
anything but cows. Aren't you glad to
have me back?"
"Indeed I am, little one."
They are in the library now, and she
is perched upon his knee as he sits in
his great arm-chair. She toys restless
ly with his necktie, aud with difficulty
broaches the subject uppermost in both
minds. •
"Uncle Cal, I've done it."
"Done what, child?"
"You know very well what I mean."
"lou've made a decisionls that it?"
••Yes, and I've decided that rather
than live in the country for three mor
tal years, I'll marry V;yie Evarta, or
even the man in the mixta."
Her uncle kisses her affectionately,
saying-: "Now you are my own little
pirl a?ain. Suppose you go and put on
one of those pretty wrappers of yours
and rest while I write some letters.
Then this afternoon we'll go driving."
A second surprise, even greater than
the first, greets Mr. VVilford when on
Thursday afternoon a card is given
him bearing the name of Vane Evarts.
"Tell him I'll see liim in a moment,"
he says to the maid, then turning to
Doris: "Will you como with me?"
"In a moment, L'nolo Cal," answers
Doris, who is already straightening her
collar. She pives the gentlemen time
for the customary greeting, then de
scends. Her uncle turns as she enters,
therefore he do.-s not see the expres
sion of pleasure that passes over Vane's
"Mr. Evarts, let me present you to
my niece, Doris Wilford. Doris, this
is Vane Evarts."
Tableau. Doris, her pretty faco
dimpling with smiles stands looking
full in the face of Vane Evarts, who,
in liis turn, looks from her to Mr. Wil
ford and from Mr. Wilford back again
with expressions of surprise and con
fusion chasing each other over Jiis
countenance. Uncle Cal forms the
background and stands, the picture of
bewilderment, rubbing his bald head
with the palm of his hand.
After a few moments of profound
silence, Mr. Evarts finds his voice:
"In Heaven's name, Doris, what is
the meaning of this? Are you— were
you—you are not Doris Wilford?"
"Am I not? Ask L'ncle CaL"
"Well—but —why did you tell me you
were Doris Ilarcourt?"
"1 didn't tell you. You merely
jumped at the conclusion, and I let you
stay where you landed. You fell in
love with 'Doris Harcourt.' Won't you
forgive Doris Wilford? She is never so
As she says this, she steps to Vane's
side and slips a tiny hand within his
own, an irresistible smile playing
about her mouth. Vane looks down at
the witching, roguish face upturned to
his, and fondly replies:
"You don't look overpenitent, my
love, but, provided you never repeat
the offense, I'll forgive you this once."
Then, with all the audacity of which
men arc sometimes capable, he kisses
"In the name of common sense, what
do you two mean?" interpolates Mr.
Wilford, li.s bewilderment increasing.
"Have you met before?"
" 'We met by chance, the usual way,'
Uncle Cal," says Doris; then, in her
graphic way, she gives a sp'rited de
scription of all that has occurred in the
past two months, andacloscs by intro
ducing Mr. Evarts as her future hus
•'How about the red hair and sky
blue eye, girlie/' her uncle recovers
himself sufficiently to say Looking
up at the dark brown hair and eyes
above her, Doris demurely replies:
"It was decidedly against my will
that I was convinced of my error, and,
you know, l'ncle Cal: 'A woman con
vinced i:gai:ist her will is of the same
opinion still.' " "WITCH IIAZEI."
Blindfolded Medium (with pistol)—
"You started from the bank an hour ago
with a pile of ten and twenty dollar
bills, which you have at the present
moment in the inside pocket of your
waistcoat; you have also two rolls of
gold coin in your trousers pocket. Will
you kindly throw up your hands for a
few moments whilst I convince myself
whether I am right or wrong in my sur
mises?" He was right.—Brooklyn Life.
Klack Diamond*.
Mr. Worldlywise—l wonder if these
jet ornaments and passementerie on
ladifcs' cloaks and wraps are not made
from coal.
Friend —Why do you ask?
Mr. Worldlywise—Because if they are
made of coal, and coal goes up to what
it was last year, I'll shove my wife's
jewelry and dresses into the stove a«d
save enough money to pay for my liquor
and cigars.—Texas Siftings.
From the German.
Absent-Minded Professor —now do
you do. Miss Sclummelpfenig?
Miss S.—l am very well, thank you.
"But why are you in mourning?"
"Don't you know, professor, that my
father died last week?"
"You don't tell me so! When you gc
borne tell your father that I am very
sorry to hear of his affliction."
To Fit an Occasion Requires.
Mrs. Whalen —Hov yez enny short
pants fer byes?
Sir. Silvcrstein —I hafe not. I hafe
long bants for mens. Buy a bair for
your husban', vash 'em vonce; und dey
vill fit der chile. I hafe sold bants dot
hafe vent drue a whole chcncration like
dot. Do longer you vash em de smaller
dey gits.—Judge.
Misleading Direction*.
Col. Blitgrass—How shall I reach the
river, sah?
Yank —Jest follow your nose straight
Col. Blugrass —Sah! Does my nose
look like a nose, sah, that would lead
me to watah sah?—Puck.
A ro>t-Oraduat«.
He—What a modest, lovely creature
she must bo! See how she blushes on
the slightest provocation. How fasci
She—And yet some parents don't be
lieve in our young women's institute ol
physical culture. —Judge.
Intelligent Alma-Giving.
Mendicant- —Dear lady, I am paralyzcc
on one side and starving. I know by
your sweet face you will help a poor old
Bible-reader. Won't you?
Lady (handing him money)— Here,
my poor friend, go and get your beer.—
Not Far Out of the Wav
" Your husbaml is writing his mem
oirs, is he not?" inquired the visitor.
"Yes," assented the venerable pro
fessor's young wife, with an engaging
simper. "He's at work on his —on his
autopsy, I think he calls it."—Chi
cago Tribune.
Miss Walling Mr. Sharpe, the
shrewdest speculator on Wall street,
told me to-night that I had the finest
complexion he had ever seen.
Miss Elderly—Well, Mr. Sharpe hat
the reputation of being a very fur
sighted man.—Judge.
A Colt! Ilcceptlon.
Cobble Billy Bender thought h«
would be funny, so he went to the
dertakcrs' hop togged out in a shroud.
Stone—How was he treated?
Cobble —Oh, they laid him out.—Cl»
thier and Furnisher.
The Clever lievlee Invented by a Nee
Jemry Woman.
The design of a cheap poultry house
heater, by Miss lint tie Seelv, Flam
fiioutoll. N J., is not only novel, but it
is a contrivance that costs so little, and
can lie so quickly and easily arranged,
as to com mend itself at a glance. An
ordinary lamp having a tin chimney,
with a piece of mica in front of the
chimney (so as to suow the flame), is
surrounded by an ordinary stovepipe
(the larger tho pipe the better), or a
sheet-iron or tin pipe may be made for
the purpose, a board being arranged at
the bottom of the pipe, by tacking the
pipe to the board, for the lamp to rest
on Or, if preferred, two cross strips
may be placed at the bottom in place
of the board, as it will allow more air
to come in. Air holes are cut all around
the pipe, so as to permit of a free cir
culation of air. A sliding door, or one
to raise up and down, may be arranged
for placing the lamp in the pipe, or for
taking it out for tilliug; or the bottom
strips may be arranged for that pur
pose. No solder is used—all the parts
should be riveted. At the top is a cross
piece, also made of iron or tin. the ar
rows indicating the direction of the
heat. The heater may be hung up by
wire (which is attached to the hook
shown on top) from the roof, but with
in three feet of tho floor, to prevent in
terference or contact by the fowls. If
preferred, the heater may rest on the
floor, but should then be protected by
a wire cage to protect against the hens.
Any kind of lamp, or small coal-oil
stove, may be used, but the chimney
should be of tin, riveted (not soldered).
It is best to have the whole heater made
by a tinner, of tin or sheet-iron, and
about ten inches iri diameter and twen
ty inches high, the crosspiece being
also twenty inches long, but stove-pipe
may be used over a small lamp. In
place of the crosspiece, a tin plate
may rest on wire pegs, raised three
inches over the top of the pipe, to al
low of free draught. By this arrange
ment, the heat is distributed in both
directions from the center of the poul
try house. It is only necessary to keep
out frost, hence <0 or 50 degrees aboTe
zero is warm enough, and the house
will also be kept dry There will be no
injury from foul air or carbonic acid
gas, as plenty of air will always find
its way in. This should be used only
on cold nights. Farm and Fireside.
Tha Kind of Feeding That Wilt Aaauro
Satisfactory HMU t>.
In the morning give the fowls a
warm breakfast, prepared the even
ing previous Ly cutting up a bucketful
of clover hay in half-inch lengths, using
a cutter made for the purpose. To this
cut hay add one quart of corumeal
and two quarts of bran; scald with
boiling water and let it stand over
night, covered with a piece of old car
pet or bagging. Before feeding it in
the morning stir the whole mass thor
oughly together, and ivhile it is warm
place it in the feed troughs. At first
they eat sparingly of it, but in a few
days they will clean it all up uieely
and very quickly After this feed they
will sing merrily and bo very happy,
and a little later their crooning song
is changed to the staccato cackle which
announces the much coveted eggs. At
dinner time two quarts of wheat may
be scattered among tho litter, aud the
fowls will scramble in great coufu
■ion for it They scratch and pick
among the chaff, obtaining the exer
cise needed to prevent storing up fat,
which is to be always avoided as an
enemy to egg production. In the even
ing, before they go to their roosts, give
them a feed of whole corn, which fur
nishes employment to their digestive
machinery during the night, aud sup
plies the needed heat while inactive.
This promotes a comfortable night's
rest which poultry need as well as
Twice a week change the morning
feed. Omit the cut clover hay, and
give them a warm mess composed of
mashed boiled potatoes, turnips, beef
scraps aud dissolved pork cracklings,
some corn meal and wheat briui, all
thoroughly mixed and fed warm (not
hot). This supplies the variety neces
sary to health. The beef scraps and
pork cracklings supply animal food in
place of the worms and bugs they get
while at liberty Occasionally give
them corn and oats groun ! together in
place of pure corn meal. — American
THEKK is good common sense in the
injunction to increase the feed grad
ually when preparing a cow for a test
A month is not too long for prepara
tion. 1 f too rapid progress is made, it
is almost certain to cause indigestion,
of which the least bad effect is waste
of food.
A CORRESPONDENT of the Journal of
Agriculture selected two hogs of the
same size, weight, age aud thrift To
one he gave an ounce of salt daily, to
the other none. The one salted had a
much keener appetite than the other,
and In three months weighed fifty
pounds the most.
A BARE wall is not an attractive
Bight at any time, yet a bare wall can
be ornamented by running vines, such
as the morning glory, or it may be
used for supporting grapo vines. The
cost is insignificant and the difference
in appearance will make the whole
farm attractive.
Her Only Hopa.
"Paleontology, you know, Mis*
Laura," said the professor, who had
lingered till the hands of the clock
pointed to 11:15, "is my specialty. It
is only necessary for one to make a re
mark abo'it paleontology to get me
started and—"
And the young lady slowly, distinctly
and with emphasis made a remark
about paleontology. —Chicago Tribune.
An Kmbarrasslu* Mistake.
Jack— Chumpley made a curious mis
take. He asked Ethel to forgive him
for not calling oftener, and she said:
"Certainly." Then he asked her to
marry him and she said: "Do."
Harry—By which she meant ditto?
Jack—So Chumpley thought, but it
■eems that she had a cold in her head.
—N. Y. Herald.
And That Would Never Do.
Maj. Murgatroyd—My dear boy. pray
Tepressyoar spirits. Remember this is
a very select ball. You must not
swear, laugh boisterously or drink too
much champagne.
Ponsonby—But, major, if I behave
myself like a gentleman people will
take me for a waiter.—Smith, Gray A
Co.'s Monthly.
severe I'unlshtneut*
First Boy—I)o they whip at youi
Second Boy—No; I wish they did.
First Boy—What do they do?
Second Boy—Keep you in at recess.—
Good News.
Ther KeeS aa Oeed Care aad »o«4 aa
Amj Other Stuck.
So long as corn and swine are grown
(n this country tbe former will un
doubtedly form a cheap and desirable
food for the latter. But experience has
demonstrated that It should not be an
exclusive food It la too fattening and
produces a gross mass of fat without
the proportion of lean which has now
come to be regarded, and wisely, aa a
more desirable form of pork. Besides
an exclusive diet of corn is heating,
and causes constipation and a condi
tion of the system favorable to dis
Better results, says the Orange Coun
ty Farmer, can be obtained by adding
to the corn ration other material which
will serve to counteract tho evil effects
of corn, while retaining all the desir
able elements of that grain. One plan
is to feed bran or middlings, with a
a small quantity of oil meal,
made into a slop with milk, or wator
when milk cannot be had. Give a
good feed of this slop before feeding
the corn, then feed the corn and fill up
the trough again with the slop
It has been found that when this is
done the hogs will eat corn awhile,
then run to the trough for a few swal
lows of slop and repeat this a number
of times before they have finished eat
ing, thus showing that they enjoy
both solid and liquid food at their
meals. But the slop should not be de
pended upon to take the place of water
which'should be furnished two or three
times a day clean and pure.
A farmer who practices thia method
of feeding finds it much more satisfac
tory than a corn ration alone. The
hogs are healthier and yield a better
quality of pork. Be is afraid of chol
era and tries to feed and manage his
stock so that the disease will never
get a start among them. He sprinkles
the eating and sleeping place every
other day with air-slacked lime, ashes
and copperas in it all the time, which
Is acessible to the hogs.
The old idea that no care need be
taken to supply swine with either
clean food or clean and comfortable
lodging lias largely given place to a
more rational view They need, to
secure the best results, as good care
snd food as any stock.
How to Construct and Op«rmt« Ou A
Profitable Investment.
With very little time and work, aad
s trifle of money, anyone may have a
hot-bed in which to start early plants
luch as tomatoes, peppers, cabbage,
lettuce, sweet potatoes, etc. The bed
ihould be started early in March north
it 40 degrees latitude, and in February
'urther south. Make a large heap of
!resh horse manure, tramping the vari
>us layers firmly to insure rapid fer
nentation, which will begin in two or
;hree days. Then rebuild the heap and
et it remain two or three days longer,
when the second fermentation will
iave begun. In some dry, sheltered
si ace facing the south or east, dig a pit
feet deep and of the size required
for the hotrbed. One ox 3 feet is
big enough for a large family. For
permanence, brick up the sides aa
ihown iu the illustration, but lumbar
tnswers for 3 or 3 years, aad should be
18 inches above the ground un the
back and 13 inches in front Fill thia
sit to the level surface of the ground
with the fermenting msnure, tramping
it down firmly in layera Put on the
sashes and wait for the heat to riso.
Any kind of sashes will do if groovos
are cut in tlie frames to drain the water
off. Though it will at first be too hot
for the seeds, in two or three days the
temperature will fall to about 110 de
grees; then soil composed of good gar
den soil mixed with X its bulk of well
rotted manure may be put on to •
depth of t) or 8 inches. In this sow the
seed thinly in drills 3 or 8 inches apart.
When they come up thin out or trans
plant to another frame. Give fresh air
every mild day by raising the sashes at
the back. Ou cold nights and during
snowstorms keep the bed covered with
mats, boards, shutters or other protec
tion. Warm the water used a little.—
Orange Judd Farmer.
iheose Should Be Bold by Test.
There is no chemical union of ele
ments in cheese making, but merely a
mechanical combination. It follows,
therefore, that the elements can be re
solved to their individual condition
after they have existed in combination
to make a cheese. This being the case,
it is just as easy to test the per cent of
fat in a cheese as to test the fat in
ere a in. Take a cream tube of common
length and fill it with cheese, and melt
the contents by placing the tube In
boiling water. No matter what the
length of the melted cheese in the
tube, if three and one-half tenths of it
are not pure oil on the surface of the
watery part, the cheeae waa either
made from milk naturally poor, or had
been skimmed. As the water in
cheese is worth nothing, and the
cascine not more than about three
cents per pound, while the fat la worth
twenty-five when cheese is worth ten
cents, so cheese should be sold by test
of its valuable constituenta Hoard's
How to Make Moat gulckly.
Though known as a fact by the ex
perience of farmera it haa also been
established by experiments made for
that purpose that the per cent of food
consumed steadily declines as an ani
mal increases in size. In other words,
the larger the animal the greater the
amount of food required to make a
pound of meat The cheapest and
quickest meat made Is from young ani
mals that are well fed. rapidly pushed
from birth and sold aa soon aa they
reach the proper size.
The Cooking School Cook.
Father— As you have had three terms
at the cooking school, Jane. I supposed
you'd know how to roast a piece of beef
better than thia Why, It's burned to a
Daughter—l don't see how I'm to
blame. The fire was too hot, 1 suppose.
Father—And why didn't you look out
that the fire wasn't too hot?
Daughter—The man always attended
to that at the school, and Mra Mixter
used to do the basting. All we did waa
to do the tasting after the meat waa
cooked.— IJostou Transcript
lie Must Have Deen Itrnnb.
Husband—What's the matter with
darliug this morning?
Wife—You know well enough what'a
the matter. You came home drunk
again last night
"Me drunk last night? Never!"
"But you owned up that you had
been drinking."
"I did, eh? Well, you oan't believe
half what a man says when he's full."—
Texas Siftinga
Frsgreat Flowers.
Florist—Here, take this cart-load of
flowers to the Highstyle opera house.
New Man—Yesslr. What shall I—
"Unload 'em at the front entrance,
and give 'em to the ushers to present to
the prima donna after the curtain falia
on the third act"
"Then reload 'em at the stage door
M>d bring 'cm back again."—Good
HaoUag Direet from Wtl. m »)l M
tke Field.
To a considerable extent the BUltr
of handling or maaaglng A* ■■■am
on the farm m undergoing ackufe.
Many that formerly considered it neces
sary to rot thoroughly before k — >l ~y
oat aoA applying are naur wflllif to
haul out fresh from the atabls* Many
considered it best to haul oat sad
apply on stubble load and then plow
under as soon as possible, will now ap
ply on plowed land during the winter,
as on grass land, and allow the rain or
snow to carry into the solL
It used to be considered a great waste
to apply manure on the surfao* and I*6
it remain ever so short a time, eh
pecially fresh, coarse manure direct
from the stables, under the impression
that there was a very considerable losa
by evaporation and leaching.
In many cases there is some loea of
ammonia by evaporation, bat that
amount Is comparatively small, while
under anything like ordinary condi
tions the loss by leaching is not any
more than if left in the stable or feed
lots if as much, as the soil will take up
a large per cent, of the soluble portions
if the fcpplteation is mfcde either oa
plowed land -or meadows.
On hard smooth stubble land and
especially if badly broken a hard beat
ing rain may carry some of the soluble
portions away. But with a little man
agement there can always be either
land plowed in the fall Intended to be
planted to some crop in the spring or
meadow land upon which all of the
manure that can be seared on the farm
during the winter can be hauled oat
and applied.
Hauling direct lessens the handling
and in a majority of oases the best
management now is to haul direct from
the stables or sheds to the fields Good
results csn be secured by spreading
broadcast over grass land or clover or
on land plowed in the fell to be plant
ed to crops in the spring. Care should
always be taken to spread evenly, es
pecially on grass lands.
In a majority of cases better results
can be secured by surfsoe manuring
than to apply and plow undar, aa in
many eases this puts a good per oent
of the manure too deep to be of a great
deal of benefit to the plants, especially
to that class the roots of which grow
near the surface.—N. J. Shepherd, la
Farm, Field and Htoekmsa.
Every ram (loose BkoaU Save Oaa a*
Mors of Thtm.
Scattered over the ground around
many farm homes we see coal enough
to run the stoves for a month. It was
juat damped on the ground becaase it
was too much trouble to pick it out of
the ashes. We shouldn't care to do
such picking with bare Angara, but it
is well enough to let a sieve do the
work. The sifter shown is made by a
friend in Wisconsin, who says about
it: "The apparatus consists of an ordi
nary coal sieve with a narrow strip
nailed across the center, aa shown, and
let into the top of a baa having a
hinged cover in the manner indicated
in the drawing. The coal asbss may
be poured into the sieve, and then the
cover may be shut down, and the sift
ing done without the necessity of sup
porting the sieve and the ashes by the
hands, and without the sansysncc
a coax asm* sirrsi.
aaused by the first settling on the
clothing or blowing into one's face
The box is made in sections, which
osay be lifted so that it can be taken
apart to facilitate ahoveling ont the
ashes " A fter you get this sifter nude,
don't conclude that just because you
have made tiie work a little easier,
sifting ashes is the wife's job. It isn't.
It is a man's job as much as it is his
duty to shovel coal or cut wood.—Bural
New Yorker.
Haw ta Make Lambs Grew.
Ground oats, placed in a pea where
the lambs can feed at a trough which
the sheep cannot -reach, with a liberal
supply of milk from the ewes, will
make lambs grow rapidly, and if thsy
gain as they should they will reaoh the
market a month sooner than if they de
pended on the ewes alone, aad aa this
gain in time is an important point to
keep in view for the high prices, every
Inducement should be made to keep the
lambs feeding and growing, bat the
gsin will not be rspld unless thslambs
are well bred, nor will grades equal the
pure breeds. The heaviest galas made
have been with Oxfords and Shrop
shire a. The main point to observe
with the ewe is that of providing
plenty of milk for her lamb.—Hons
and Farm.
Rata Bap TuslfS.
A fine crop of ruts bagas can bo
frown on tbe potato patch, aad this Is
the way J. K. May tells of doing it la
the Practical Farmer. On a half-aers
it potato ground, after the last hoeing,
he sowed two ounces of seed of purple
top Swede, and when digging ths
potatoes was careful to hos ths dirt
around the roots. It did not take four
kours longer in digging the half-acre.
He took from that patch one hundred
bushels of fine potatoes and aeraatj*
five bushels of ruta bagas This, he
thinks, is better than raising a lot of
watery turnips.
Tbe Place for CoaversaStea.
••My dear," eald Mrs. Chstterly to
Mrs. Chltterly; "I hsve so much to teU
you, but I can't stay now."
"Then go with us to the opera to
morrow night," suggested Mrs •Chltter
Below tbe Lowest Depths.
Tls sad how deep into oblivion «•
Some books we thought would ahlse oa ever]
To-d»y, while looking through atf weeks, )
Two that I wrote, and then fortot, ajwU-
—P. McArttmr, inPuek.
Kxglalaed by Heredity.
She —Do you know what it la to hav«
a soul at war with itself?
Be— Don't I, though? My father wai
an Irishman and my mother an Italian,
you know. —Judge.
At Niagara.
"Don't you juat love the grace ol
nature, Mr. Dart?"
"Grace of nature? Pshaw) Look al
her now —how she falls all over her
self" —Puck.
Tbe thank Pair.
"Is it safe to attend one at thaa*
baaars with only a five-dollar bill lo
your pocket?"
"Well, you have to take eh as nee, t>4
Tbe Plaea ta Leek.
Visitor— You have a wonderful collec
tion of curious coins. How did yon gel
Parson (dryly)— Found them is tbe
plate.—Judge. - -