XVOL. XXVIII. Hotel Waverly. g. McKEAN" ST., - - BCTLEB, PA. Opposite School Home. Thin elepan'. new hotel i* now open to the public; it is a new house, with new furniture throughout and all modern con veniences; is within easy reach of the de pots and business houses of tbe town, and has a splendid view of the eastern part of the town. Rates Reasonable. Give me a call when in Butler. CHESS STONER, Prop'r. Willard Hotel. W. U. REINING. Prop'r BUTJL.i£R, - STABLISU 13 COSSKCTIOJ. SAIPLK 1100* far COXIEBCIAL TBAVKLKK New Lively Stable. New Stock, New Rigs. —OPEN DAY AND NIGHT— Horses fed and boarded. PETER KRAMER, 39. W. Jefferson Bt. Ratler, Pa. Hotels and Depots, W. 8. Gregg is now running » line of carriages between tbe hotels and depots of tbe town Charges reasonable. Telephone No. 17, or leave orders at Hotel Vogeley. Good Livery in Connection CRAWFORD & KENNEDY. Tbe well-known liverjman, Wm Kennedy, has bought an interest in tbe above barn and will be pleased to have his friends call at hie new place of business. Tbe Best Horses, Buggies and Car riage* in Butler at tbe most reasonable rates. The place is easily remember ed. The first stable west of tbe" Lowrv Houße. MiEflin Street Livery. W. G. BIEHL, Prop'r. One square west of Main St., on Mifflin Bt. All good, safe horses; new boggics and carriages. Landaus for weddings and funerals. Open day and night. Telephone No. 24. Zj. C- WICK DEALER IB Rough and Worked Lumber Doors, Sasb, Blinds, Mouldings, Shingles and Lath LIME. HAIR AND PLASTER. Office opposite P. A W. Depot, BUTLER. - - PA LUMBER YARD. L M. :&W. TJ. HEWIT, Dealers in all kinds of Rough and Worked Lumber. DOORS, SASH, BLINDS, SHINGLES, LATH, ETC. We bave a larjte <>f all kin«'« of Lum ber, Oil Well Higf, Etc. Call and get our prietn and nee our slock. Mall Orders Promptly Attended ■ To. Office nil J ]fo»oß ST., XKAR WEST Psmr DEPOT, BUTLEB. PA. Planing "Mill —JJID— Lumber Yard T. L. PU KVJ* L. O. RUN V IP. Purvis & Co. MASrCFACTUP.KRM AMD DRALBRM IK Bough and Planed Lumber . or EVCKY DESCRIPTION SHINGLES, LATH & SEWER PIPE. Butler, Pa. MY NEW STORE la now completed and I respectfully invi*e the Public to call and t see* me. I am prepared to supply every thing in tbe line of Drugt£and Medi cine* at all hours. Prescriptions at night a specialty. Electric Bell and'ppeaking tube at front door. (JallHjtnswered prompt ly A bright, cheerful new. Yours, J. P. BALPH. G. D. HARVEY, Contractor acd builder In brick work, urole and mantfl MttlnK and all kind* of brick-laying a specialty, A lno dealer In barrel lline, w»M pum I owe lime, cemeuui. Nattoaal. Portland and all be«t (rrad.-B in tbe market. Calcined Mauler, plaater hair. King it cemeot, Oro brtck, fUe. wblle aand and river wind. Main office 31.1 If. Main itreet, and all orileni left at ware houne Will recelre ptoiupt delivery. Terms reasonable. PROFESSIONAL CARDS. JOSEPH W. MILLER, M. D. Physician and Surgeon, Office and residence at 33a ■. Main St. Eutler, la. Dr. N. M. HOOVER, 137 E. Wayne St.. offl.* hours. 10 to 12 M. and 1 to 3 P. M. L. M. REINSEL, M. D , FMIAU AM) SCBOEOX. Offlce a lid residence at 127 E. Cunningham St, L. BLACK, PHYSICIAN I.ID BITKOKOS, New Troutnian Bnlldinfcr, Butler, Fa. L. S. LEAKIi. Ji. i>- J. K. MANN. M. Specialties: Specialties: liynarcology and Sur- Eye, Ear, Nov- •! : ifery. Throat. DRS. LEAKE & MANN, Butler, Pa. G. I,*. ZIMMERMAN. rarncuD AND SCUJIOH. Offlce at No. *5, S. Main street, over Frank « Co's Liius: store. Butler, l'a. SAMUEL M. BIPPUS. Physician and Surgeon. r>o. 22 East Jcfifrton St., 151 tier, l'a. W. R. TITZEL. PHYSICIAJS AiiD SURGEON. 6. W. Ccit.tr Halo and Nortli fela.. llutltr. Pa. V. McALPINE, Dentist, Is now ptimattiitlj- located at lzO South Main Stmt liutkr. Pa. in roema loituerly occupied by Dr. Waldron. J. J. DONALDSON, Dentist. Butler, Penn'a. Artiuclal Tt'Ctli Inserted cn the latest im proved plan, (..old HUlng a specialty, once— oer Schaul s Clothing Store. DR. S. A. JOHNSTON. DENTIST, - - BUTLER, PA. All work pertaining to the profession eiecut ed in Uie neatest manner. Specialties Gold hillings, and Painless Ex traction o( Teeth. Vitalized Air administered. IHlSct OB JcfftruD Street, ooe door Kant of Lowrj House, L'p Stair*. Office open daily, except Wednesdays ani Thursdays. Conimunlcatlous by mail receive prompt attention, Ji. B.—The only Dentist in Duller using the bofcl makes of teeth. C. r. L. McQUISTION, EKGLNEMt AND SIBVEYOIt, Ornci hKAK DIAMOND. BCTLEB, PA. A. B. C. McFARLAND. Att'y at I,aw and Notary Public—Office on S. Diamond ft.—opposite tne Court House— sec ond lloor. H. Q. WALKER, Attor nty-al-Law— Office in Diamond Block, Butler, Pa. J. M. PAINTER, Attorney-at-Law. Office—Betwten P'stoffice and Diamond, But ler. Pa. A. T. SCOTT, ATTORN EY-AT-LA W. omce at No. ft, South Diamond, Butler. Pa. A. M. CHRISTLEY, ATIOUNEV AT LAW. Office second floor. Anderson B1 k. Main St., n':»r Court House, Butler, Pa. J. w. HUTCHISON, ATTORNEY AT LAW.- Ofl.ce MI second floor of tl:t; lluielton block, D.snioud. Butler, Pa.. Boolu No. I. JAMES N. MOORE, ATTOKKir-AT-LAW AMI) NoTAKV PTSI-IC. ufi'ne in liooin No. 1, second lloor of lluat Itou Kloctt. entrance on Dlarnoud. IRA McJUNKIN. Allium > at l«i», Ofll'-'o >-i No. 17, Jeffer son St., Butler. Pa., W. C. FINDLEY, Altcrney pi Un u.r I .ml JCstatc Afci-nt. Of lice rear of 1,. K. illicb'-H H ottji eon north Hide of Diamond. Butler, l'a. H. H. GOUCHER. Attorney-at-luw. Office on second lloor of Anderson building, near Court lloukc. Butler, Pa. J. t. BR ITT A IN. Att'y at Law—.Offlee at S. K. Cor. Main H', and Diamond, Butler. Pa. NEWTON BLACK. Att'y at Law—Offlce.on South side or Diamond Butler, Pa. L. 8. :VlcJlJi\Kli\ f Insurance and Real Estate Ag't 17 EAST JEFFERSONJBT. BUTLER, - PA. ~7u!TL Hi CO I NTY Mutual Fire Insurance Co. Office Cor. Main & Cunningham fits. a. 0. ROKSSINd, Pr*HIDBNT. U. C. HKINEMAN, SKUP.KTABT. DIi<KCrORB: G. C. lIOCMItIS, Henderson Oliver, J. L Purvis, .lames Stephenson, A. Troutnian, M. O. Ilelneiuan, Alfred Wick, N. Weitwl, aJ4fl Dr. W. Irvln, Dr. Iliekenbacn. J. W Hurkbart, ;D. T. Noma. LOYAL S. M'JUNKIN, Agent. BTTTLiB'R, "F>A. A. E. GABLE, V eterinary Surgeon. Graduate of tbo Ontario Veterinary College, Toronto, Canada, Dr, Qable treat* all dfceaHea of tbe domesticated animal*, and myites ridgling, castration and kori>o den tistry a specialty. Castration per formed without claniß, and all other surgical operations performed in tbe most scientific manner. Calls to any part of tbe country promptly responded to. Offlce und Infirmary in Crawford's Lircry, 132 West JeffersoD Street, Butler, P*. THE/BUTLER CITIZEN. OUR GREAT FALL CLEAK A N C E Sale is Now Going on in Farm Wagons, Spring Wapon.s Delivery Wagon?, Bug gies, Surries, Carts, S'.eiglie, Bob-S'ed*, Buck-wagons, Slat wagons, Spindle-wagons, Buggy wheels, painted; Buggy wheels, not painted, Shafts and Poles, finished; Shafts and Poles, unfinished, Buggy Curtains and Lazy-backs, Buggy Tops and Wagon Tops, Buggy Dashes and Wrenches, fart ' heels, finish* d Harness of all kinds from the Cheapest Machine to the very best Hand Mad<-. Won: Harness and Buggy Harness, Horse Collars, all kinds and sizes, Sweat Pads and Collar Pads, Back Pads and Interfering Pads. Lobes (fall kinds and blank ets to fit any horse at any price, Buggy Whips and Wagon Whips. All" parts of Harness— Hames. Tugs and Traces; Halt ers of all kinds. Fly Nets and Lap Duster*, Buggy Paint, the best make. Single Trees, I'ouble Trees, Neck Yokes, Horse Brushes, Curry Combs, Springs i"i" Wagons, Buggies and Carts, Hoof Ointment. Top Dressing & Harness Oil i'itching strapfc, Hatne straps, hiding saddles. Bridles, and Harness Saddles, Buggy-washers, Snaps, Bridle bits Hoisting jacks, Anti-rattlers and everything —at Wholesale or Retail. We have all our stock made to order. We give our own guarantee so that when you buy of us you know just what you are getting, We do not put you oft with a manufacturer s guarantee whom you do not know. We are here to make good all our own contracts Our reputation is establish <1 —it took us years to make it. We intend to retain it. It is that which enables us to buy more, sell more, bu\ cheaper, and sell cheap er than any other firm in the State and you who buy of us re ceive the benefit. Come and see us. If you deal here once you will deal here always. Yours &c s. b. ninußT i [o. 216 W. Cunningham St S. B. Martincourt, - J. M. Lieghner HENRY BIEHL 122 NORTH MAIN STKKKT, EU : LEH - P"EIM IsT'A DEALER IN Hardware and House Furnishing Goods. reaper and steel frame binder, Warren ready mixed paint, warrented; screen doors and windows, refrigerators and lawn mowers. No better place in the city to trade. Coine and see my large store room full <»1 goods, I .'Hii feet long. WHERE A CHILI) CAN BUY AS CHEAP AS A MAN Fine Watches, Clocks, Jewelry, Silverware and Spectacles At lowest cash prices at •J. JEt. <M R I K J$ » No. 125 N. Main St., - Duffy Block. Sign of Electric Hell and Clock. Pittsburgh, Pa. • awl reliable InM Ittuioii han prepfuwl UiouMuidM of yo#a(( men HI»<! women forth* WiteaUoii" a'mJV* want ° f a WftCtKaU education, circular* will b<s *»cut on BUTLER, PA.,FRIDAY, OCTOIiER, 1(5. 1891. THE PRESS. lExlract from u po a read by Charles A. Gardner, • tho Pasad.na Star, before tho ro 6ent Editorial association of southern Call tarsia.] The po ; feinp- tils lady lort. Tho c.. CM of blue from Heaveu abovo— The nzuro of tho deep blue so a— (Beware of her, she's fooling thee); Or tenderer -Ed truer brown A kindlier Heaven sendeth down. To bid tho wan-lerlng soul arise. And light its pathway to the sklos. De mine the glory of the Pres.?, The new-born giaat of the west, The wander of the world's old age, That rose upon the human stage. When everything but it was old And even stars were growing cold; And melting with Its searching light The gloom of medi -vul night, HatU ushered with benignant ray The dawning of a better day— The bravest champ: ;n of truth That time in its immortal youth Hath ever folded to Its breast, Or Heaven In its gla 'ness blessed. That never yet iiw human wrong Go unrebuked in weak or strong; Or deaf ear turned unto the needs Of nation's woe or widow's weeds. That hand in hand wliii human thought, The problems of tho • hath wrought; To teach philosophy its source, Or trace the planets in their course; To bring a c ntinent from gloom, Oi* Christianity cxhurno From far-off Palestinian shore To light and life forevennore. As ishennen of olden t ;me By Persian gulf and eastern clime ensealed tl.e c: t from the sea That set tuo captive a sins free; And loosed a power on that shore Tltat nert>r could be "prisoned more, Bo li" who from its lost recess Evoked the genius of the press Ha!h 100 cd an engine of the mind. That nevermore can be confined; A minister of love or hate, Resistless ns the march of late, Hath bullded better than ho knew. The good, the beautiful, the true. And sent upon the stream of time, Adown Its parallels hublime. The noblest child of human thought That ever humaa brain hath wrought; The noblest champion of the free That ever flung to land or sea The banner of a rising state To lead it on and m'ako it great. And these the wUo men of the east. Apostles of that great High Priest, The glory of His work well done, Have carried to the setting sun; And every vale and every hill, Th.- temple 3 of their worship All. Wherever towns by magic spring; Wherever church or school bells ring; V.'hr-ro orchards bloom or ros*s twine By southern oak or northern pine, There editor hath led the van And brought new empire unto man. \jy[ ing a boy these ' ii' days-, there \J ISeiSS! ain't! V& al- I most as soon i / / \ Ixs a girl. Ever / lift iince a old ■ woman named & Francis Hog eater Hurnem 43r wrote a book about a little old no account boy called Lord Fauntleroy, ma's just Fauntle royed me out of inj' life. And sister's worse. So more playing ki the streets and catching tadpoles in the branch, oh, no! Lord Fauntleroy wouldn't do such a thing; lv: :-at oa a barrel or a cheese bo.c in a store all dressed up like one of these h.'ra little monkeys what go • i a roun ! with the organ grinder, an l talked politics to a old man, that's what he did. First thing they did to me was to let iny hair grow, 'cause his hair was long; then they tried to curl it, but there ain't no more curl about my hair than there is about a broomstick. It's this here kind of straight, stiff hair what wants to grow right out from a feller's head ami keep him from pitting his baton. Hut they curled it! Oh, yes, bless, you; they were bound to do it! First time they trie 1 to curl it they roiled it up in papers, and it took 'em all the afternoon to got it up. 'cause every time they'd turn 'em a loose the hair would straight! n right out, and them papers'd shoot off like chanyber ries from a popgun. Hut, as sister says, they bursybe. red, anil bime-by they got 'era to stay up, by one of 'cin holding o.i reiil tight, while the other clamped 'em on with some kind of an instrument. And if I wasn't a sight! My head ached just like it was going to split, but they didn't caro. If them curls had been ail ri"!il. lliev v mldn't have ;'iveri a cent if it (i d : plit. That v ry afternoon, too, the boys was going to have a circus down in Jy Arm i*/ WK J,OJOf'liN I.I) TO JONPs' 1I A UN. Jones' barn, and I was to be head clown and stilt-walker, and tie-re I was, a sit tin' at home with my head looking like a punk in with warts nil over it. 1 could hear Hill Smith calling through the back fence: "Bobble! !iob-b-bic!" but ma says: ''No, I cannot allow you to associate with those rude boys." "Kudo boys," indeed! what does she I.now about 'cm? she never played with 'cm. Anyhow, I'd made up my mind to go t i that circus, Fauntleroy or no Faun tleroy, hair or CL> hair, »o I said: "Ma, my head aches; I be Hove I'll go lio down." "Very well," said ma, sweetly, "only don't undo them." "Ycs'ru," I said, and then I walked right heavy up tho stairs, so she'd think I was going sure enough, and then I tiptoed softly downstairs, uiul skipped put the back door. There were all the boys, thinking I'd got a whipping and ma had locked me up; and they were deliberating on u rescue when I ap peared. As I carne out, I picked up ono of pa's old hats out of the coal scuttle, and put it on, so they didn't seo my head until I showed It to them. "Olad my mu don't know notkin' 'bout no Fuukleroy," said liill Kmitli. Ilis ma's a washwoman. I almost wish mine was one. Oh, how those boys did laugh when they saw me! "Tell you what," said Charley Jones, "you'd make a splendid hyena with all those, nobs on your head. You be the hyena, anil I'll get soineljody else to b•- tho clown." I agreed, so we nil "sojourned," as sister would say, to Jones' barn. Well, In spito of all tho curl papers, I had a line time. It's true that when ever the hyena would turn summerset them nobs would stick in his head like the very mischief; but, of course, that didn't matter much. Next day ma was going to liuve a dinner party, and tlioy took down my curls and dressed mo up in my new Fauntleroy suit, it was so tight I thought I'd never iret it on. and when I did 1 felt just like I'd been melted and poured in. It ma le mo real uneasy, wondering how I'd ever gfc-t out. Then sister got a red sash, and tied it round mo like I was a girl. "You needn't put that thing on mo,"' I j aid. "I can stand lots of things, bat I ain't a-going *.•» stand no sash!'' She just 1. ked at me with one of her sanctified looks, r.nd kept on tying it in the hardest kind of a knot. And tain't no use to try to-uudo a knot after she tics it. "I'll be even with you, miss; seo if I don't." said I. "I'm not a-going to be Fauntleroyed any longer. I'm just a plain, common little boy, but I have my rights as well as other people, and I'm going to have 'em too." So when nobody was looking, I slipped round to the back gate and cut across to Jones' barn. All tho boys were there, playing leapfrog and wondering what had be come of me. You ought to have seen 'em stare! I don't blame 'em one bit, though sister does say it is impolite. I wanted to stare myself, only I couldn't. I told 'em how I'd been treated and that I'd determined to have my revenge. "I coul<i have stood these," said I, pointing to my curls; "and these,'' pointing to my clothes; "but I won't stand this here sash; I can t! I won't! 1 shan't! I will have my revenge!" shrieked I, trying to do like the man in the play. "Bet your boots, I'd have it, too,'' said Will Hrown. "I wouldn't let any body tie me up in a old red string like I was a puddin', no, sir!" "Hut how air you a goin' to get your revenge?" said Hill Smith; "that's what 1 want to know." "Yes," all the boys cried, "tell us— we'll help you." "Charley," said 1, looking myster ious, "you go home and get a pair of scissors tc cut these things off, 'cause there ain't no other way to get 'em off; and Bill (Bill's the boy what's got a washwoman for a ma, and an old clothesinan for a pa,) you go home get the very oldest, raggedest, dirtiest buit of clothes your pa s got, I'll pay for 'em if they don't cost no more'n thirty cents, and then bring 'em here and I'll tell you what I'm going to do." It was just like watching skyrockets without any fire to 'em to see those boys scoot away. They knew I was tip to mischief. While they was gone. 1 sat on a rag bag in the corner, and the boys sat all around looking at me like I was a cir cus bill. Byrne by, after a long time, 'bout fifteen minutes, here they come. Charley had some shears what his pa used to cut the hair off of the sheeps with, 'cause ho couldn't tiud the scis sors, and Bill had got the clothes, sure enough. "Pa says," said Bill, "that if you had cr scoured every rag shop in town, you couldn't or found er better spctchimen of raggedness than this here; and if they aro worth a cent they are worth twenty-five of 'em; and they are, too, you bet." They certainly were a fine spctchi men, as Bill said. Tho coat used to lie green, I think, but I'm not sure; any how, it was yellow now. One sleeve reached to the elbow, the other to the shoulder. Down the back, where the little boy that used to wear it had bust it, his ma had put a piece of red sateen with blue flowers on It; it may be the little boy had put it on himself, it looked like he might have done it. Per haps ho bust it whilo he was climbing a fence, and patched it so liis ma wouldn't sec it. It had two good white buttons on tho front of it, and two holes that used to be pockets. But them pants! I felt sorter uneasy when 1 looked at 'cm, because you soe, they didn't have but one leg. "Rill," said I, "or—what am I—er— what's become of the other leg?" "Other leg?" said Hill, looking a lit tle took down, and then brightening up, as if lie had just-thought of some thing; "why, boy, tliem pants never did liavo but ono leg, never did! When them pants were new, it was fashlonar ble to have only one leg, it was; my pa says so." I didn't exactly believe him, because I'm afraid Hill's not a very truthful boy. Besides, it looked as if there had been a leg, but it was pulled off. But Charley said: "If you'd rather have another leg—which I think you'd bet ter —why not make one?" "Very thing," I cried, "get something in there," pointing to the rag bag. Wo found a piece of pink calico big snougli, and Will Brown made the leg and pinned it on. "Now," said I, "aut D.ff these hero curls," and after few whacks off they came. Then the boys 2Ut off the sash, and, I tell you, I felt like u free boy once more when the fnnntleroy suit, sash and all, lay on the floor. Then I dressed in Hill's suit, though it took a pretty long time, be cause t he boys laughed so they couldn't help much. After awhile I got them all on and when 1 had taken off my slippers and stockings Hill held up a piece of broken looking glass for mo to see myself in. When I first saw myself I thought I was going to do just like sister does when she has tho highstiries, but I chawed a piece of rag right hard and didn't do it. Tho boys were doubling up like bate worms on tho floor with laughing, and 1 didn't blame 'cm much. I laughed uutil I felt like Ido sometimes when I get homo from school on tho days when I don't havo no lunch. Charley's not a very good barber, and there was a bunch of hair here ami a bald spot there, then another bunch of liuir and another bald ipot, and right on top was a long piece that stuck straight up. It made me think of Tow ner when lie had the mange. One leg of tie- pants came to my knee and tho other reached to my ankle. This was the pink one, and it looked just like one-half of sister's divided skirt what she wears when she takes physical ag riculture. My courage sorter fell when I thought what ma would do when sho saw me, but my eyes lit on that sash uiul it raised again. "Come on, boys," I yelled; "ma's go ing to have a dinner party and expected to show me off, but I bet she'll bo sorry she ever tried it." "Arc you are you—cr —going to din ner that way?" said Charley, a littlo beared. "The time has come," said I, "when ' tr- • i ' i JIBi "I AIN'T AOOIN' TO UK rAUNTLKItOYED ANY LONOEIU" I'm not going to bo imposed on any longer. I will be revenged, I will!" "So would I," said Hill, "bet yer life I would!" "(io it," shouted all the other boys, so we started for hoiue, me in the middle, Charlie and Hill in front, advance guard. Will Hrown on one side, Tom VM Uiu vtUfr, ktt<l Uj-> rent of the boy> bringing up tne rear. "Now, boys," I whispered, when we reached the back gate, "you all slip 'round to the dining room window und watch," and then I went and peeped in at the door. They were all there at dinner; the new preacher at the head of the table and that stuck-up Miss Wilkins by sis ter. And ma was just saying? "I won der where Hobby is?" when in I walked. If you have ever seen one of these here jumping-jacks, what hops out of a box. with great big eyes, and hair standing all over its head, you'll know exactly how ma looked when she saw me. Everything was as dead ly a silence as ever you saw, not a sound but the exclamations of the com pany and the bumping of tho boys' heads against the window. "Ladies and gentlemen," said I. try ing to speak as proper as I could, be cause I wanted 'em to know I hail been well raised; "ladies and gentlemen, I have been squeezed and sashed and collared and cuffed just as long as I can stand it, and I have come to the conclusion that I'm a free boy, and a lawful citizen of these United States of Africa —America, I mean—and I just ain't a-goin' to be I'auntleroyed any longer." (I was glad then I hail heard pa make speeches.) "Yes, sir, ladies and gentlemen, 1 ain't. I'm tired of be ing made to stand on the hearthrug when there's company, looking like a little idiot, and feeling like a baked potato. "Yes, sir, ladies and gentlemen, you all have got little boys. You needn't deny it, for I've seen 'em, and verily I say unto you," said I, remembering my Sunday-school lesson, "be ware that they dqn't rebel and make you sorry for Fauntleroying them. Yes, sir, la dies and gentlemen, sharper than a serpent's tooth is a thankless man whom —" But just here somebody grabbed me behind and raised mo up, and pop went that patch in the back of my coat (I was real sorry, too, for it was a nice piece of cloth to be torn up so), and I felt myself being carried out of the room. Through the win dow I could see the boys doubling up in all kinds of knots, and just as I got to the door I yelled: "Yes, sir, ladies and gentlemen"— and then somebody flapped me in the movßh. and I looked round and saw that that somebody was—pal I have too much regard for your feel ings to say what happened after that, but I ain't quite recovered yet. However, I have some satisfaction in knowing that ma ain't either.—Julia T. Riordan, in Atlanta Constitution. Tli© Irony of Fato. A couple of tramps were sitting on the dock at the Michigan Central sta tion looking out over the water and tossing watermelon rinds into the stream. "I hate the luxuries of life," said one, in thoughtful mood. "What fer?" inquired his companion in surprise. "Oh, I don't know," he answered lan guidly. "I s'pose, though, it's on the principle of familiarity breedin' con tempt. I don't know any other reason fer it." The other one hit him in tho neck with a melon rind and rolled over 1: hind a tr;i I)ei.r >it I'rce Press TO ELEVATE THE MONKEYS. A Srii f.ir rrorliicliie :*•) Aristocracy of Among simians. A man of lar r "v means, who re. ides in Washington, h . recently his intention, privntely. to devote >IOO,OOO to ave ry original purpose. The idea, says tli.- Wu t >:i S' -V, is thut no satisfactory «>, , .rtunity lias > v -r been afforded for the development of the in tellect of tin' brute. Intelligence, like bodily qualities, is susceptible of im provement through breeding, us every one knows who has thought about the evolution of the dog from the wolf by artilicial selection. This rich man pro poses that Rn nkcys or apes shall be taken as subject-, for experiment, sim ply because man understands those ani mals better than he does others. Let fifty of them, half males and half females, be placed in a paddock, suit ably provided with separate quarters for the sexes. Then have them breed, pair by pair, as shall be directed by those who superintend. Some of tlurn will develop certain abilities more con spicuously than others. For example, certain individuals will exhibit a rior understanding of the commands addressed to them, or will show a greater dexterity in the handling o" ob jects. Those which appear stupid tiro to be expelled from the colony, their places being filled by fresh recruits. When a male and a female are found who exhibit the same sort of aptitude in any direction they are to lie mated. This process, carried on for generations, would necessarily result in the develop ment of superior characters until finally, ufter the 'apse of twenty-five years, perhaps, there would almost certainly be apes or monkeys far higher in the scale of reason than any known up to tho present time. These putative cousin.? of the human race have already exhibited a mental a even mechanical capacity sufficient to give ground for great hopes of [>ossi lile development in [>ointof intellect. Chimpanzees have be- n taught to bring things to the table, and the big Langur baboon of India is commonly used in that country to-day as a servant for working the punkah fans, with which flies an; kept away from dinner tables. Kxplorer Stanley has given an account of apes which carry torches at night. This is believed by scientists to be an absurdity, because all the anthropoid nnd simian tribes aiv too afraid of tiro to render such a thing possible. It is a fact well known that gorillas, while they will gather about a deserted camp fire for the sake of warmth, will never think of keeping the embers alight by adding fuel. Nevertheless, every book OIJ natural history relates many an in stance illustrative of these creatures' thinking powers, and there is no ques tion that it could be greatly improved by tie- process of judicious breeding. Even a pig can be taught to count up to ten. Tin- tiood Old Time*. Old Man—Talkin' 'bout circuses, notliin' can coinu up to tli' ol' fashioned one-ring circus, with one clown. Young Man —<>»!} ©no-clowu! It must have been real enjoyable. —Good News. Appropriate. "I understand tho prince of Wales Is about to adopt a new motto." "Aw! Haw Jawve! What Is it?" " 'Hew to the line, let tho chips fall where they may.' " —l'u ' ■ Tin* h«*9»oii for C "Summer rniikes us timid, I think, said Waggles- "Heat is enervating." "I guess you're right, returned llobbs. "I know I'm afraid even of oysters in summer.—-Judge. What il«> Nmil«il. (ius ISmith —You have very large cars. (iilhooly—Yes, my ears are large. All I lack now to be a perfect ass is your brain.—Texas Siftings. Krr|iliiff III" Tcarr. Mrs. Keyboard—Why do you always sit at the hotel piano? ♦ You can't play u note. Old Stokes—Neither can anyone else while I'm here. —Jury. At Hlng Slug. Visitor" It is sa«l, sad to see you hero, my man. Was it sudden temptation or the fault of your bringing up? Prisoner- The last, sir. Visitor Who brought you up? Prisoner- Tluo sheriff and two depu ties, sir.—H. Y- U^rtUO. CULTURE OF ONIONS. Conditions I'ndcr Which Planting In tIM " Fall h A-hUablc. If properly mulched before the weather gets too cold onions can be planted in the fall. One of the princi pal advantages in planting in the fall is that the work is done, the seed or sets have germinated, and when the season opens in the spring they are ready to start to grow. As earliness is necessary in growing a good crop of onion-, this is quite an item. The sooner onions are planted in the spring the better, and iu many cases by planting in th fall they will get sev eral days to grow earlier than if the planting was not done until spring. October is a good time to do the plant ing, although in a favorable season the planting may be dene as late as No vember with good results To grow a good crop of onions, it is very uecessary to have a strong, rich soil thoroughly prepared. It is diffi cult to have the soil too rich, and while it is best, when it cau b- done, to use wellarotted and fined manure,yet when this cannot be doae tresh, course man ure i. a good fertilizer for onions Poul try manure is a good fertilizer for onions. A good plan of applying is to prepare the soil all ready for the seeds or sets, and then apply the poultry manure as a top dressing, working it into the sur face with a rake; or it can be applied broadcast after the planting is done. Onions grow very near the surface, and whatever fertilizer is applied should be on or near the surface. If the cultivation is to be done by hand, either with the hoe or garden cultivator, twelve or fifteen inches is about the right distance to mark out the rows: but if the horse cultivator is to be two or two and a half feet apart will l>e best- Do not mark out the rows too deep In nearly all cases shallow planting will give the best results. Press the soil down on the sets after covering so as to get a good start to grow. Be fore the weather gets too cold a good mulch should be applied. When it can had fresh, coarse manure is a good i ni:;i «rial to use for the purposo. Wheat straw can lie used; oat straw or hay should not be used, because as a rule ! they contain too many seeds. The best time to apply the mulch Is after there is a light freeze. By this plan onions can be grown for market i several days earlier than if the planting !is delayed until spring, and in many I cases a few days will make consider able difference iu the price.—St. LouU , Rupublic. FARM AND FIELD. I WALNUTS boiled In water and the juice put oil horses and cows with a whitewash brush or anything suitable ! will cause the flies to immediately fly ; off upon alighting on them. Smartwccd | may be added. IN Kurope wherever the sugar beet is grown the .value of the land has in ! creased. Beets are grown for two or I three successive years on the same land, which will then produce better cereals and other farm products. BY placing thin slices of raw potato on pieces of boards about tho field, and visiting the same noon and night, a Practical Farmer correspondent caught many beetles. "At tho end of a week not a bug could be seen." THE profit In raising general-pur pose horses is about gone. We want general-purpose marcs for farm work, but they must raise special-purpose colts, just as our general-purpose cows raise special-purpose calves. —llenry C. Wallace. BLACK knot on trees Is a disgusting sight. Although remedies are suggest ed, the first duty is to cut away all signs of tho black knot, and then pre vent its return with the use of remedies which destroy or prevent fungus growth. Do YOU save all your manure syste matically, und uso it to the best advan tage? Have you water-tight floors in | all your stables? If not, get cement and gravel and build them now and have 1 them ready for winter.—T. B. Terry. | A SHEEP may not produce wool to the I value of one dollar, but It may pay ' well as mutton. One -early lamb is worth more than the wool of three or i four sheep. The mutton breeds of sheep require moro care than the small and active wool breeds, but they give a larger profit CODLIN MOTH TRAP. A lUiKlage from Which Ito Inventor K*- ptcti Great ICeanlti. Dr. Benjamin A. Field, of Ilobart, Tasmania, sends us the following de scription of a codlln moth trap bandage from which he hopes great results. "I take," he writes, "a strip of sacking ! about eight inches wide, and with a gun-wad punch make a row of holes along its center. Then u strip of cheese cloth about three inches wide is close ly sewn with a machine along each side of the row of holes. Fig. 1, being kio. L no. 2. FIO. 3. tucked as it is sewu on so as to form a cage. Now about an inch of each edge of the sacking is turned down. Fig. 2, and it is pressed through the clothes mangle, making a bandage. Tho grub goes up under the turned-in edge, then after hatching, if it attempts to return the same way, it gets caught In tlio cut de »ac. Finding it easier to go up and out through the punched holes, It tukvs that course and is caught in the cheesecloth cage. Fig. 3, A, which, be ing secured at the two ends by tacks, holds him in." For other insect pests, like oyster scale, etc., Dr. Field Is try ing Injections of various drugs Into the circulation of the tree, and so far lias obtained the liest results from Eucalyp tus globulus (blue-gum) oil.—American Agriculturist Seising Ilia Opportunity. Advance Agent—lll, there! What are you doing with that pistol? Discouraged Dude —(ioing to kill my self. Advance Agent—Say, hold on a min ute, If you're bound to do it, won't you IH> good enough to leave a note saying you do It for love of Miss Starr, the Beautiful Iceberg? It's a dull sea uou, uud every little helps.—Puck. Unite Delicate. Mrs. Oabb (hostess)— Your little son does not appeur to have much appetite. Mrs. Qadd No, he's quite delicate. Mrs. Oabb—Can't you think of any tliiiot you would like, my little man? Little Man— No, 'm. You see, mom made me cat a hull lot before we started, so I wouldn't make a pig of myself.—Oood News. A Quiet Time. Small Brother That young man who conies to see you now always brings me candy. Sister— Well, if tie does you needu t tell everybody. What do you do with it all? Small Brother —Sit under tho sofa an eat It—Good News. Not of l'nlvernal Application. Mr. Croesus —Ethel, have set your heart on marrying Lord Noodle? Ethel—Yes, papa, dear; you know tho Lord gave, etc. Mr. Croesus-That may apply to you, Etls-1; but I regret to say, It does not to my JftfliW-— Li * e - FRUIT EVAPORATOR. It Is Chmp ami W 111 i>» Tvlef tl>* Wtrll ol Some i:iKh-I*ric«d Mlthlßtf It is built of wood. All the frame required L» the upright 2 by 8-inch horfj zontal drawer rests. The drawer rests are placed tlatwiso and between tlyj posts, rabbeted one-half inch pn each side to receive the drawers. The sidef and back of the drawers are inches wide: the front is 2 inches wide, with a X-inch rabbet above and below, o5 the inside, and there are corresponding rabbets on the siding' of the house, so that when the drawers are pushed the outside surface will be smooth. The bottoms of the drawers arc made of galvanised wire cloth There 19 4 false front to each drawer 3 lncnel back. The upright posts are 2W feet •part The drawers are B*£ feet long, and with the false front, 3 inches back; this gives a 3-inch space at 6acb end of the drawers for free circulation of air. The end drawers arc 4 inches deep and 5 feet long, and are used ifi finish on. Have four extra drawers, and have some extra front pieces to in and close up the openings when thi drawers arc out. The sheet-iron fei> dcrs, A H. extend the whole length, to distribute the hot and cold air. The cold air enters the ventilators below A, and is divided by n. The arch c is sheet iron, with a 2-inch flange, resting on the wall of the furnace, which is 3 feet high and 2 feet wide, laid in mor tar. The top course of brick Is laid in mortar, on the flange, to prevent the CHEAP ASD GOOD EVAPORATOR, escape of smoke. The building is 10 X feet long, 7 feet high, and 4 feet wide. D T> are connecting rods attached to tho ventilators. The furnace can be built below the surface on sloping ground. The amount of heat is great and tho thing to be olwerved closely is to admit plenty of cold air through the ventila tors. The illustration, without going into details, gives enough to enable a good workman to construct a cheap and good evaporator that will do more than twice the work of some of tho high-priced machines. —J. W. Beach, in Farm and Fireside. FACTS FOR FARMERS. THE best of everything raised on the farm should be kept for the use of the farmer and his family. PEAK juice, heated to 108 degrees, and scaled in bottles, will not only keep well, but prove a refreshing drink In winter. WHEN hives are not to be moved by wagons they should be securely fast ened to the wagon and packed around with straw. KEROSENE is the best of all insect destroyers and the cheapest, but as it will Injure plants and trees, it shqjild be applied as an emulsion. IT is claimed that the bad condition of many of our country roads is caused more by ignorance of the laws of drain age than from any other cause. SOME one has suggested that the dogs carry bells instead of the sheep, and that every dog-collar should have a bell attached to il, which would give indi cation of their presence. IT is not best to allow the chickens to eat the dead bees around the hives, as they soon get to likiug them so well that they do not stop at dead ones, but pick them off as fast as they come out of the hive. THE tomato will bear ripe fruit and Contain blossoms at the same time. *'hfl vines grow into a dense mass unless they are supported. Cut out some of the branches and allow the nun to enter. ULEASOX says that a horse's nostrils are his fingers, and with them he feels articles to find whether they will hurt him. He :.mells every new object very thoroughly to d do whether it is good or bad._ _ The Tr«atmriit of <'Ul«r. In a little English work on cider by Mr. H. Sopes occurs the following inter esting remarks about this popular bev erage: "We are constantly being asked what treatment cider requires at different seasons. With respect to casks for summer consumption we recommend them staged in a cool cel lar, the contents kept from air as much as possible, also taking eare to use a wood trap, metal oues being very ob jectionable for elder. I bottle and for summer consumption within a few weeks the bottles may stand on end, but where intended for longer keeping, especially througli the winter, it is ab solutely necessary to lay them down in order that the corks may remain moist to preserve the gas and flavor; cider so treated and kept will improve greatly. Before using, old l>ottlcd cider requires standing up two days to allow the de posit to subside. In hot weather, be fore opening, if the bottles arc plunged for an hour in iee, broken fine, a most delicious, cool drink, closely resembling a tine champagne, will be the reward; this is far superior to the usual custom of emptying a bottle into a jug and then adding a lump or two of ioe; such a course completely ehatiges the cider's character and flavor." Tho Selection of <iee»e. In thinning out the flock of geese, always retain the old birds, as they will often live and breed during the lifetime of a generation. Geese have been known to hatch and raise their young when twenty-flve years old. Tl\e old geese are not salable in market, and as tliey are l>etter layers and more careful mothers than the young geese, the latter can be marketed with morA advantage and profit than by selling off tho old birds.—Farm and Fireside. Tit* l>rpt!i of lie—Did you read that article on ic© cream? Five hundred persons, I be lieve, died from eating it, last vear. She —So I read, Ueorge; but 1 willing ly face death at your side, dear.— Truth. A I>unff«rou» K1t«I. "Who is that giddy young thing over there to whom all those men are paying so much attention?" "That's the chaperon," shouted a chorus of girls.—Judge. All's Well That Kaila Wall. "I see Ja. 't and Mollie have made up again. Why was tho engagement ever broken?" "They had a quarrel as to which loved the other the most." —Life. Kitrcuiei and A vera*#. Mr. Fussy—Good gracious, Marlal that hat of yours is flat as a plate. Mrs. Fussy—Never mind, John; I'll make up for it after the theaters open. —Judge. The Stan Who Dueaa't Uofk Spacer (to his funny friend)-—Y«u aeem to be confoundedly sulky this afternoon, Joivle. Joivle —Yes, I'm taking a rest.—Pnck. Change of Kunineaa. l>e Broker (sadly)— You seem U have dropped out of speculation lately. tie Loser—Yaas, betting on hosi races now It's safer. —S- Y. Weekly.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers