VOL. XXVIII
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
JOSEPH W. MILLER, M. D.
Physician a;:d Surgeon,
Offlee tad residence "4 i. Ham St Bntler,
r*.
Dr. N. M. iiOOVER,
137 K.
1 to 3 F. M.
L. M. REINSEL, M. D,
I'BYBICIAN AMD BCKOKO.V.
Office and residence at 127 E. Cunningham St,
L. BLACK,
nmiclix AMD 81'KUEON,
Mew Trout man Bnllding. Bntler. Ha.
X. JJ. LKAKK, M. D. J. K. MANN. M. U.
Specialties: Specialties:
Gynaecology and Sur- Bye. Bar. Nose and
gery. Throat.
ORS. LEAKE & MANN,
Buller, Pa.
G M."ZIMMERMAN.
ruraiciAK and rukm.
Office >1 No. is. B. Main street, over Prank *
I'-o'i UiUk' Store. Butler. Pa,
SAMUEL M. BIPPUS.
Physician and Surgeon.
do. 22 East Jefferson St., Botler, Pa.'
W. R. TITZEL.
PHYSICIAN AHD SURGEON.
8. W. Corner Main and North Bta.. Butler. la.
V. McALPINE,
Dentist,
la now permanently located at ISO South Main
Street' Butler. Pa.. In rooms formerly ;ccoupled
by Dr. Waldron.
J. J. DONALDSON, Dentist.
Butler, Penn'a.
Artificial Teeth Inserted tn the latest Un
proved plan- Oold Filling a specialty. Offlee—
over Sruaul's Clothing Store.
DR. S. A. JOHNSTON.
DENTIST, - - BUTLER, PA.
All work pertaining to the profession; execut-
and PalnleasEx
tractlon of Teeth. Vital tied Air administered.
O Me* w Jibma Htrwt.oM d*or bit afLawry
vac* e> B .« U( 1, Btain.
Offlee open dally, except Wednesdays an J
Thursdays. Communications by mall receive
prompt attention.
I. B.—The only Dentist In Butler o*lng the
beat makes of teeth.
c. F. L. MCQUISTION,
SKGIKEEB AMD SURVEYOR,
Oyrics kiai Dia*ojh>, Bunaa. Pa.
H. Q. WALKER,
Attorney-at-Lsw-Offlce tn Diamond Block
Butler. I'h.
J. M. PAINTER,
Attorney-at-Law.
omct—Betweerfl'ostofllce and Diamond, But
ler. Pa.
A. T. SCOTT,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.
Office at No. 8. South Diamond, Butler. Pa.
A. M. CHRISTLEY,
ATIORNEY AT LAW.
Office second floor. Andereon B1 k. Msln St.,
near Court House, Butler, Pa.
J. w. HUTCHISON,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Office on second floor of the lluselton block.
Diamond, BuUer. Pa. Room No. 1.
JAMES N. MOORE,
Attobkst-at-Law abb Not act Pcblic.
Offlee la Room No. 1. second Door of lluselton
Block, entrance on Diamond.
IRA McJUNKIN.
Attorney at Law, Office at No. IT, Kast Jeffer
son St . Butler. Pa.;
W. C. FINDLEY,
Attorney at U» mid Keal Estate Agent. Of
flee rear of L. Z. Mitchell's office on north side
of Diamond, Butler, Pa.
H. H. GOUCHER.
Attorney-at-law. Offlee on second floor of
Anderson building, near Court Uouse. Butler.
J. >. BRITTAIN.
Atfy at Law—Offloe at 8. B. Cor. Main St, and
Diamond, Butler. Pa.
NEWTON BLACK.
Att'jr at^aw— South side of Diamoud
L. 8. McJUNKIN,
liranißee i»d Real Estate Ag't
17 EAST JEFFERBON|BT.
BUTLER, - PA.
i nLER COUNTY
Mutual Fire Insurance Co.
Office Cor. Main & Cunningham fits.
G. 0. ROEBBINO, PRESIDENT.
11. C. IIKINEMAN, SKCBKTAKT.
DIRECTORS:
0.0. Knesslnc, Henderson Oliver,
J. L Purvis, .lames Stephenson,
A. Trout man, H. C. Helnemao,
Alfred Wick. N. Weltzel.
Dr. W. Irvtn, Dr. Blckenbacb.
J. W. Burkhart. ID. T. Norris.
LOYAL S. M'JUNEIN, Agent.
STJTPA.
A. E. GABLE,
"V eterinary Surgeon.
Graduate of the Ontario Veterinary
College. Toronto, Canada,
Dr. Gable treat* all diseases of the
domesticated animals, and makes
ridftliog, castration and horse den
tistry a specialty. Castration per
formed without clams, and all otber
surgical operations performed in the
most scientific manner.
Calla to any part of the country
promptly responded to.
Office and InGrmary in Crawford's
hirer j, 133 West Jefferson Street,
Batter, Pa.
THE BUTLER CITIZEN.
w-H- O - ?
WHO has the Polka Dots in wide and
fine goods?
WHO sells them at 12 1-2 cents when
they are ffoino* like hot cakes in the
%J o ZD
citv at 15 cents?
j
WHO has the only lull line of them in
Butler?
RITTER & RALSTON
And they are the scarcest and most
•/
desirable goods in the market to-day.
O J
SOMETHING ABOUT
DRY GOODS CARPETS.
DO YOU NEED—Are yon goiug to buy a new dress this spring?
DO YOU WANT a new Jacket in all the new colors and styles?
DO YOU WANT anything in the Notion line?
DO YOU NEED—Are you going to buy any carpet this spring?
DO YOU WANT Fresh, Clean Goods, the latest and choicest styles?
DO YOU WANT any kind of Brussels, Velvets, Mcquett, in tfce
choicest designs, made up with beautiful match borders in first class style?
DO YOU WANT an Ingraiu. .'5 ply, or Cotton Carpet of any kind?
DO YOU WANT any Lace Curtains, Portieres, Curtain Poles or Win
dow Shades?
AND ABOVE ALL,,
Do you want to pay less than you have been paying elsewhere for inferior
goods?
Then Come and See Us, We Can Save You Money,
TROUTMAN'S
Leading Dry Goods and Carpet House.
BUTLER, - - - PA.
HENRY BIEHL,
122 NORTH MAIN STRKKT,
BUTLER -
DEALER IN
Hardware and House Furnishing Goods.
o
. Washing Machines; the
Standard Rotary Shuttle
Sewing Machine, 2000
tile No.
7 American.sewing machine.
J also Singer and Empress;
agricultural implements and
Lansing farm wagons; New
Sunshine & How.ird ranges,
m c|k) M Stoves, table and pocket
J ■ cutlery, hanging lamps;
K manulacturer of tinware, tin
jm roofing and spouting a spec-
HLm&gsz ialty; the Johnston mowers,
reaper and steel frame binder, Warren ready mixed paint,
warren ted; screen doors and windows, refrigerators and lawn
mowers.
No better place in the city to trade.
Come and see my large store room full of goods, 13Gi feet
long,
WHERE A CHILD CAN BUY AS CHEAP AS A MAN
, RINGS,
Diamonds (EAR-RINGS,
J_7ldlllUllUh 1 SCARF PINS,
1 STUDS,
c GENTS GOLD,
o pti J LADIES GOLD,
t? 1 GENTS SILVER
W, A DIES CH A TLA IN,
TpwV=»lrAr i Gold Pins > F «r-rings,
( Rings, Chains, Bracelets, Etc.
{Tea sets, castors, butter dishes
and everything that can be
found in a first class store,
RODGER BROS. 1847 I £$TH.^
E. GRIEB,
THE JEWELER
No. 19, North Main St., BUTLER, PA,
All Kinds of Job Work done
at the "Citizen" Office.
TWO IUCYOLES.
Thoy Piay an Important Part in a
Love Affair.
LD HUNDRED S
VJy'' real name was P.
_J.V W/ u , , fit VI T- Simmons.
tk ", Just R T |"J^
/ J always insisted.
/ wßf thing'. Father and
( I mother ran out
I °' namcs when
V
and gave me ini
■" village wag
dubbed hiin Old Hundred, for short,
and the name adhered.
For Old Hundred was one of those
dried-up little men who might be con
sidered twenty if some inconvenient
old ladies did not remember holding
them in their arms just forty years ago.
He wore a dainty juvenile mustache,
walked with a smart swing, although
one might notice that his heels came
down rather stiffly, and played games
among the most frivolous at the church
socials.
He was a tailor, an excellent one, by
the way, and his apprentices had by
this time ceased to griu and chuckle
when their master sprang down from
his cross-legged position on the table
every morning precisely at ten, as 11.
C. passed on her way to the post office,
after the mail. He would jump down,
snatch up his hat in an absent-minded,
blushing way, and remark that tho
mail must be distributed by this time.
If the apprentices had ceased to smile
at this sort of thing, you may be sure
that it had become an old story.
Indeed, Old Hundred had been court
ing IJ. C. for a long, long time. And
that was too bad, beciuse B. C. de
served a better fate, a more vigorous
lover. No one could tell when Susy
Bennett was first called B. C. If one
could have told that, you see, it would
have given some clew to her age.
Susy was a dear old girl, however,
with kind, laughing eyes and a shrewd
little brain of her own. It wasn't her
fault if she was getting up startlingly
near a very rheumatic forty without
netting Old Hundred
For when a man has gone through
forty years with a sneaking desire for
matrimony titillating his heart all tho
while without the grit and manliness
to say so when given au opportunity
by the proper person once, twice dally
—Cupid despairs of him more than of
the most rabid mysogynist in bachelor
dom. There is t-uch a thing, you
know, as a heart which is too soft for
those dainty little darts, which merely
nurses them as a feather pillow would.
Well, that's Old Hundred and B. C.;
how came in the Bicycle? In this way:
The ancient twain were strolling back
from the post office at 10:30 a. m. with
the incipient courtship air which had
been petrified so lemg ago. She was
smiling at him bravely and hopefully
and talking bright nothings, while his
feather pillow of a heart fluttered
drowsily.
Suddenly there flashed around the
corner and bore straight down, upon
them Will Davis and Lucy, his young
wi'e, on their safeties, off for a day's
holiday together, if one might judge
from their bundles. I'pright they
were, noiseless, swift, graceful and
full of life in every movement and in
every fluttering garment, glittering
eyed with handsome, healthful faces.
Old Hundred and 11. C. turned 'to
gaze admiringly after them.
"How finely Mrs. Davis rides'" mur
mured Old Hundred.
"And how exceedingly graceful Mr.
Davis is!" r« .pond ad B. C. rather
sharply.
"I've often thought I should like a
wheel," said Old Hundred, with, of
|
KVKIIY iII'SCLK WAS TAXED TO HOLD
Till: WHKKL t'I'UIOIIT.
course, no i>crccpth®i of her annoy
ance.
"And I should enjoy one very much,"
added B. C.
"You!" Old Hundred blurted out, be
fore he thought Ho took mental cred
it to himself for not finishing the sen
tence!
"You can get tricycles nowadays for
almost nothing," said 11. slyly, "and
of courss that's the only wheel you
would think of at your time of life, Mr.
Simmons!"
"Hum!" said Old Hundred, and
"Hum!" said B. C.
Now don't expect to be treated to a
lover's quarrel. Our sedate couple had
got far beyond that dangerous stage of
courtship Yet as they parted some
what grimly, "I'll show him!" mut
tered B. C.. and "I'll show her!" mut
tered Old Hundred. And that very aft
ernoon the In-art of the village bicycle
agent was made glad by an order for a
lady's safety, and an order for a safety
for our doughty tailor.
That was on a Monday, and our nar
rative calmly skips a month at this
point—calmly and mercifully.
From timo Immemorial it had been
Old Hundred's habit to call on B. C. on
Sunday evenings. At the beginning 1 of
his courtship, the hand of the feather
hearted tailor had quivered suspiciously
in the operation of shaving for this im
portant occasion. In the adjustment of
his necktie his clumsiness had bgen
phenomenal—for a tailor. llis steps
up to the board walk which led to 11.
C.'s front door had been noticeably un
■toady. I!. C. had coyly sent the ser
vant to usher him in. and had often,
with an affectation of careless indiffer
ence, received him without rising from
her chair.
All that had long been changed, but
this particular nlifht seemed to repeat
the experiences of old Old Hundred's
toilet was accomplished with blunder
ing- slowness. And why does the odor
of liniments follow the fiery lover from
his room? And why docs he groan as
he bends to reach the gate latch? And
what has become of his brisk, swing
ing gait up the board walk? And why
does not 11. C. receive him, smiling, at
the door? Why does she remain in that
thick-padded arm-chair and stretch her
hand out to him so slowly? And what
is the use of using cologne where arnica
has been?
"Miss Bennett," said Old Hundred,
after a few wandering remarks —(he al
ways Miss-ed her) —"didn't I notice a
bicycle standing in the hallway?"
"Why, Mr. Simmons! Didn't you
know that I could ride?" asked 11. C.,
with a radiant smile.
"Is it possibl •! Why, we must have
a ride together!" cried the astonished
tailor.
"Together, Mr Simmons! Can you
ride, too?" inquired It. C., with real
amazement.
"Of eoiuvio I ean'. That is—um-er—
in fact, I'm learning. And I'm getting
BUTLER, PA., FRIDAY, A I 'GUST 7. 1 803.
oa well, excenenuj nva. mi opunr
tire savs, for a man of my—«r —l should
say, excellently well- Hut ho .v did yon
learn so soon?" Old Hundred asked, ad
miringly.
"Well, I can't say that I am through
with my apprenticeship yet," confessed
I?. C., with a charminff olil blush; "but
Air. Spoketire says he hardly has to
hold the machine at all. and lie thinks
I'm doing 1 better than most jfirls do who
are many years youn that is, that I'm
doing very welL I need to l>e helped
into the saddle."
"So do I," admitted tho tailor, hon
estly.
"15ut onco in, 1 have absolutely no
trouble, provided the road is smooth
and level and Mr. Spoketire just keeps
his hands on the machine to kind of
steady me, you know."
"I still find it a rather difficult task
to dismount—without letting the wheel
fall, that is. Miss Itennett."
"Why, do you? The last time Mr.
Spoketire helped me out he said I was
as graceful as a young girl. Mr. Spoke
tire is so nice."
"Miss Bennett, we must go out to
gether next week, and as soon as possi
ble! Or rather about Saturday, eh?
We'll both be in better trim by then,
you know."
"Without Mr. Spoketire. Mr. Sim
mons?"
"Of course. What do we want with
that contemptible little dandy?"
B. C. smiled happily at the tailor's
manifest jealousy, yet smiled rather
uneasily and fearfully. However, she
agreed, with many a misgiving, and the
next Saturday afternoon was fixed for
the adventure.
Many a time during the following
week Old Hundred and B. C. regretted
their precipitancy. But B. C. was clear
grit, if she was approaching that awful
fortieth birthday, and the little tailor
had been roused by the Spoketire hints
to somewhat of the ardor a lorer should
have.
A careful observer might have noticed
that the daily walks from tho post
office were far more deliberate and
loverlike than usual but only Spoketire
and the arnica bottle guessing the true
cause. Oh, how they both wished that
their machines would break before the
fateful afternoon! But they were none
of your cast iron "best-ln-the-worlds,"
and Spoketire was only too zealous in
his watchfulness, so that the bicycles
really received less damage than their
awkward riders.
Saturday dawned perversely fair,
with roads outrageously perfect, and
the afternoon saw our hero and heroine
trundling their wheels through the
village out to the Middleton road.
"We'll not ride; through town," each
eagerly agreed, "because people might
laugh," which was very true.
The Middleton road was an excellent
stretch for the purpose, in prime con
dition. and little frequented. Old
Hundred and B. C. walked out of sight
of the village, chatting gayly, avoiding
all mention of the wheeL At length it
became impossible to deny that the
right spot had been reached, and with
set faces they placed their bicycles in
position.
"You must help me on, you know,"
said B. C. with a rather pale face, but
brave withal; "Mr. Spoketire thinks it
is still necessary!"
"Oh, yes! Why to be sure 1" stut
tered the little tailor, looking awk
wardly around for something to lean
his bicycle against, and at last laying
it down clumsily in the middle of the
road.
IS. C. sprang into the saddle with an
elephantine feint of girlish spright
liness, and the poor tailor's weak
muscles were unable to prevent a most
portentous swaying of the wheel.
"Mercy on us!" shrieked B. C.,
"Don't let me take a header before I
start! and oh, Mr. Simmons, I shall l>e
so grateful, if you will only hold on to
the machine for a few steps, just until
I get started!"
"Certainly," grunted Old Hundred,
whose every muscle was taxed to hold
the wheel upright.
B. C. started, the perspiring tailor
trotting after, t*>th hands clutching
the saddle spring contributing so ma
terially in his awkwardness to the diffi
culty of the steering that the agonized
maid in front soon cried back to him:
"That will do. Thanks. Now mount
and catch up!" and away sailed B. C,
staggering all over the road
Old Hundred trotted back to his
wheel, picked it up and glanced de
spairingly after Uie retreating safety,
llow could he ever catch up? But that
query was merged in a gTeater one.
Could he ever mount?
He made three attempts, each failure
being hidden in a thicker cloud of utLst,
and inscribed in a deeper rent somo
where. l!ut what were clothes to a
tailor? There was Miss Bennett's un
stea<fy form just disappearing over the
first little hilL lie must catch up with
ber, or be her laughing stock forever
Luckily, a small boy just then came
sauntering by, to whom he pave ten
cents, with full directions, and was as
sisted off in much better shapo than
poor It. C. had been.
"Oh! that I were safe in my shop, sit
ting cross-legged on the table I" thought
Old Hundred. "That bicycles had
never been invented! That Miss Ben
nett were not so fond of them! How
smart she is! Who would have thought
it at her age!"
But just here a rut upset the train of
his thoughts, and all but upset himself.
The small boy, left behind, was chuck
ling with delighted amusement [low
close the ditches seemed, and how fear
fully deep! The machine, to the tail
or's crazed apprehension, seemed in
sanely bent on plunging over the brink.
His arms were pulled almost out of
their sockets. Perspiration blinded his
eyes. More and more wildly with each
rut swayed the crazy bicycle, and
whirled Old Hundred's dizzy brain. He
came to the brow of the little hill,
which seemed a fearful declivity Old
Hundred clinched his teeth and pushed
back hard on the pedals, throwing on
the bralce with all his might. Just
IIE LAV ON TOP OF IMS WIIKKL.
then he struck a loose stone, lost con
trol of the wheel, and with closed eyes
ran directly toward the side, and up
set The little tailor rolled over and
over down the hillside gully, and lay
on top of his wheel at the bottom.
Slowly Old Hundred rose, and found
to his intense relief that he had broken
no bones. To his equally great relief
he discovered that he had broken the
bicycle. One pedal projected from the
crank at a most astonishing anple.
A gay laugh rang out a few yards
farther down the ditch, and 10l there
on its bowldery side sat the stout-heart
ed B C.; at her feet her tricky wheell
A happy light shone in her eyes.
"My wheel is brokcnl" said she, point
ing to a handle-bar bent back some
forty degrees.
"And mine, too," said the smiling
tailor, showitur the disaffected nedal.
"Isn't it too bad! I'm afraid we'll have 1
to go home."
With some toil they hoisted their bi
cycles to the road again, and set out for
the town, trundling them happily.
And then it was that the tailor spoke
| these memorable words:
"Susy," says he. Miss Bennett's
brave old heart knew what was ap
proaching. "Susy, you see how very
unsteady these bicycles are separate?"'
"Very," suid It. C tremblingly
"But suppose, Susy, one were to
take two bicycles like yours and mine,
and put a couple of axles across, and a
i box on top, with two seats and a cover,
what would that be, Susy?"
"A family carriage," said B C look
ing downward with a smile.
"Yes, Susy, and it wouldn't tip over,
but would run smoothly and safely,
anil wouldn't it be nice, Susy?" and
; Old Hundred tried to trundle with one
hand, that he might use the right arm
for another purpose, but It wouldn't
work. "Wouldn't it bo much nicer,
Susy?"
Yes, Susy thought it would.
And so B. C. and Old Hundred walked
I happily back to town along that
: Middleton road, henceforth blessed to
them both, trundling the fateful bicy
cles, which alone had been equal to the
ending of that long courtship
Near town. Spoketire whirled smart
ly up, and dismounted at sight of theiu
"Had accidents, I see. Too bad
: However, I can soon straighten that
i out."
j "We have decided, Susy and I, Mr
| Spoketire," said the bold tailor, proud- ;
I ly, "to sell our wheels, and we want
i you to act as agent. We'll leave them
Jat your shop Yon see, M r Spoketire,
I we have decided, Susy and I. to set up
j a family carriage.*"—Anna R. Wells. In
Yankee Blade.
Ilappincw from Wltliln.
j All men are seekers after happiness,
and few there be who fi . d it, unless
they seek it within themselves. If the
heart and the mind are at rest the j
foundation of true happiness is laid It
will not enter the abode which harbors
unrest and makes a g-ne---t of envy or
turbulence. True happiness is based :
' on the relations which exist between
ourselves and God, and must come from
witli. i Surrounded as we are by bless
ing's, we should ever recognize the |
cheeriug fact, and if we fully realize
it, and thankfully appreciate it, peace
and happiness will result llright and
cheerful views of life tend to tranquil- j
Ity of mind and peace of heart, while I
j he who only beholds the gloomy side of !
i life will go through it an unsatisfied
! and disappointed being —The Hoaw
It Was :i MUtukcv
J "O'Rafferty," said Judge Duffy ol
the New York police court, "your wife
' swears you struck her with great vio
lence."
"Wid great violins, whin there is
devil a fiddle, big or little, on the
praymeses? She exaggerates too much
entoirely. yer honor it was wid me
j boot that I rebuked her "—Texas
I ings.
True Gouerosltjr.
j Greene— What do you do when you
get stuck on a counterfeit bill?
Whit# —i" it to my wife —Munsey'i
j Weekly
FIRING AN OCEAN STEAMER.
Something Al>ont l!>« Labor Performed
by u Stoker.
A Scottish contemporary thus de
scribes the firing service on board an
ocean greyhound: On the City "of Paris
there are sixty firemen, who feed the
fiery maws of fifty-four furnaces, that
create steam in nine 1 .oilers. Fifty coal
passers shovel the fuel from the bunk
ers to the furnace door, and the firemen
toss it in. There is something more
than mere shoveling in firing. Tho
stoker must know how to put the coals
on so they will not burn too quickly nor
deaden the fire. He must know how to
stir or poke the fire so as to get all, or
nearly all, the heat out of the coal.
Service in the fire room is divided into
six watches of four hours each. The
fireman works and sleeps alternate four
hours. After the first day from port
two out of every six furnaces are raked
out to the bare bars daring the first hour
of each watch. Thus, in a voyage, all
the furnaces are cleaned once in twenty
four hours. The steam goes down a bit
In the hour while the cleaning is going
on. The stokers shovel into the fur
naces fifteen tons of coal every hour, or
three hundred tons a day. The uhip
usually takes in two thousand tons at
Liverpool or New York, and has be
tween five hundred and eight hundred
tons left when she arrives at the other
side. The engineers' department is en
tirely distinct and separate from the
firemen's. In the City of Paris there
are twenty-six engineers, including
hydraulic and electrical. They are edu
cated in engine shops on shore, and a
certain number of them go on ships
every year. They arc all machinists, so
whenever the machinery breaks down
they know how to repair the damage.
In case the chief engineer should be dis
abled any assistant could take his place.
DOGS ON MONEY.
The Canines of Different Nation* Shown
on Their Coins.
There is an important group of alH.ut
forty coins containing outlines of dogs,
which deserve careful study. The in
terest of some of them, says Chambers'
Journal, is mainly mythical, as with
Ltelaps, the hound of Actajon, presented
to Cephalos by lYocris; or with the dog
of Segcste. which symbolized the river
Crimisus. But there are enough to show
how extensive were the operations of
the dog fancier in early times. The
coins afford no evidence of the develop
ment of a spaniel, there being no ex
ample of a pendulous ear, or of a mas
tiff, though bulldogs were undoubtedly
known in the arenas of imperial Home.
But they prove conclusively—what Is
shown, indeed, by the less artistic
products of Egyptian pictography—that
the ancients had four kinds of dogs—the
wolf dog, the hound, the grayhound i«id
the terrier. The Umbrians had their
wolf hounds, the Apulians, of Asculum,
their grayhounds, tho more rugged
hunters of the Tuscan forests their fox
dogs. The favorite dog of Artemis
Laphria, as on coins of Patrio ami
Sparta, was a grayhound, while Act
(Bon's dogs must have been half-breed
deerhounds. Khcgium, if the coins may
be trusted, had" his sheep dogs; the
Macedonian city of Mcnde its terriers,
and Cumen, just above the bay of Naples,
to which all the luxuries of the ancient
world were brought, its poodles.
Further pursuit of this line of inquiry
would probably throw some useful
light upon the direction of canine do
mestication.
Returned in Installments.
"What are you crying about?" asked
i kind-hearted stranger of a lad who
ivas standing in front of a newspaper
>ffice, weeping as if his heart would
break.
"Oh. dad's gone upstairs to lick the
•ditor."
"Well, has he come down yet?" pur
sued the gentle Samaritan.
"Pieces of him have," exclaimed the
boy, indulging in a fresh burst of tears,
"and I'm expecting the rest every min
ute."—Peterson's Weekly.
A Frightful I'rcdicauinit.
Mrs. Grayneck—Why, Johnny, what
in the world are you striking Willie for
like that?
Johnny—Well, I should think 1 had
£Ood cause.
Mrs. Grayneck—What do you mean?
Johnny—Well, I let him use my l>ean
shooter all last Sunday afternoon if
he'd say my prayers for inc for a week,
and I've just found out that lie'sskipped
three days.—Jury. ,
THE MUSTACHE DROPPED.
Funny Eipcrimo' of a Clergyman at >
Colored Couple'* Wedding.
That poverty is no bar to the mar
riat,d relation is evidenced by tho num
ber of impecunious persons who s*em
desirous of sharing each other's misery.
Among colored people especially, it
seems to Vie bold ttiat two can fight the
wolf better than one, even when they
do not possess a dollar or the security
even of steady employment. All they
have is spent in preparation for the
nuptials. Sometimes it happens that
they have not enough remaining to fee
the minister. When Rev. Charles Cole
man, now a popular Baptist clergyman
of Philadelphia, was pastor at East
New York, L. 1., a young colored man
called on him one wet and dismal day,
and standing upon his doorstep while
the rain dripped from his clothing and
ran in tiny rivulets down the seams
made by smiles and grins in his other
wise smooth and ebony face, told him
he wanted to be married. Hut "de
. young lady" was not feeling verv well
% |_l|
UIS MUSTACHE FELL TO THE FLOOIL
and did not wish to risk her delicate
health by going out in such a storm.
i Could Mr Coleman oblige by calling at
' a designated hour that afternoon? At
the appointed time the clergyman pre
sented himself at the one-story frame
' shant) to which he had lie 1 n directed.
| It appeared to contain only two rooms.
The first one—a combination of parlor
| and kitchen—was filled by a dusky
group of men and maidens, who, from a
' perfect Battel, lapsed into the dumb
ness of curiosity when the minister en
tered—the silent-,- b.-ing broken
only by tin- 00-astonal explosive
giggle of some young miss, fol
lowed by the sudden sympathetic
titter of the assembly Meanwhile all
eyes were steadily fixed on the clergy
man, who was thus compelled
to endure cert, in of the sen
sations of the pillory while the
bride's belated preparations were
; going forward After considerable de
i lay the door of loom number two
opened, and in Haining red dress, wear
ing enormous plated ear-pendants, the
dusky Diana made her appearance on
the arm of the bridegroom, whose time
had evidently been most lately occupied
in drying out his wardrobe and adjust
ing brilliant scarf to a very large
shirt collar As they took their places
In the center of the room the company
snickered immoderately, the bride
huug her head, and the bridegroom
carefully stroked his mustache with
his forefinger and thumb. The service
was impressively conducted, as was the
clergyman's wont, until he came to that
portion of it wherein he asked:
"Do you solemuly promise,
etc., to take this woman to be your law
fully wedded wife?"
"Ya-yas!" said the bridegroom. But
as lie uttered the word, alack, his .mus
tache became detached from his lip and
fell on the floor at his feet! The guests
burst into roars of laughter. The men
held their sides and squirmed in contor
tions of risibility, and the girls choked
themselves with aprons and pocket
handkerchiefs. Stooping, hastily, the
bridegroom picked up the mustache and
put it in his vest pocket, and the sur
prised (not to say perplexed) clergy
man, with the best grace he could com
mand, went on with the ceremony.
At its conclusion the bri .egroom took
him aside and explained that tho bride
had insisted on his wearing a mustache
to overcome his youthful appearance.
"But de paste wall mean; 'twouldn't
stick," he added, ruefully. Continuing,
in a pathetic undertone, he said: "I'se
very much 'bliged fo' yo* a murryin' me,
dominie; but I'se sorry I'se got no
money. Hows'ever ef yo' want a job o'
kalsominin' yo' sen' fo' me. I'se a boss
hand on de kalsomine."
Wheels Within Wheel*.
Meftinnis Your overcoat is awful
dirty
Gilhooly—Yes, I dropped it into tho
mud last night when I was coming home
from the lodge
"Ilow did you happen to let go of it?"
"I didn't let go of it. I was inside of
| it when it fell in the mud."—Texas
Siftings.
A Cane In I'olnt.
Clara—lt's possible to dress very
nicely without spending much, if one
only has a little taste.
Laura —I suppose you speak from
your own experience, for I know you
don't spend very much, and I'm sure
you only have a ver3* little taste.-—Mun
sey's Weekly.
Conlldent-eft of Dear l-'rlend*.
Irene (in a whisper)— Sec that hand
some young man across the aisle, Laura?
I can bring Viim to my feet any day I
want to.
Laura —Indeed, dear! lie doesn't look
the least bit in the world like a chirop
odist!— Chicago Tribune.
Ala*!
She—You lack energy and push.
Kvery man is the architect of his own
fortune.
He —Yes, but the girl's father is tho
contractor. — Life.
Would Not Mult.
Horse Dealer —Here's the liorso for
you if you want to drive a bargain.
Customer— But I don't want to drive.
I want one to ride.—Munscy's Weekly.
Hard Linen.
Miss Alabaster Wooltop—Wat's you
gwine to wear to de Coonvillc ball?
Miss Lily Snowllake —I dunnoyet, an'
dat's w'at makes me so anxious.
Miss Alabaster Wooltop—Why, ain't
you dun got yo' shrimp pink?
Miss Lily Snowllake (contemptuously)
—Dat I has; but my mistress she done
got one de same color.—Judge.
MeMMnge* for Two.
Call Boy (snap theatrical company)
Twenty-seven men at the stage door
with hills and three reporters want to
know if it's true the company is in
financial straits.
Manager -Tell the bill collectors that
I haven't a cent. Tell the reporters that
the rumor that we are short of cash is
the work of envious rivals.—Go<xl News.
Itongh »n Men.
He—Ha! ha! ha! lb-re's a gt*Kl hit in
this paper at the female sex.
She—What does it say about the
women?
He—lt says that more than half the
women in this country are crazy.
She (with a sigh)—l expect that's so.
There are a great many married wom
en in this country.—Texas Siftings.
{'■■ known on Karth.
Mrs. Trotter (reading)—"To let—a
cottage, ten rooms; all modern improve
ments; mountains rising in the rear:
lawn sloping to a crystal lake; weather
always cool; no mosqnitos, no malaria;
rent thirty dollars a month. Apply
to—"
Mr. Trotter (wearily)— St. I'eter at j
the gate.—N. Y. lleralil.
HINTS FOR DAIRYMEN.
a Profitable Method of Feeding Covi
White lu MUk.
There are many methods of feediup
sows while in milk. Some of our
writers of late have disapproved of
usinp chopped hay ami straw, but this
principally depends upon the way of
preparation. I Jail to see why some of
them should state that their cows' milk
has become dried up This is undoubt
edly their own fault, and probably
their cows had no access to any other
than chopped food. I can fully recom
mend it as a proper method of feeding
milch cows. Let it undergo the follow
ing treatment and I can positively af
firm that there will not be the slightest
danger of such an occurrence:
Let the chaff consist of hay and
wheat straw (the upper part only; in
no case the butts, as they are of too
woody a nature) Then take either
pulped mangels, cabbage or turnips
(but the latter is often injurious to the
butter), about one bushel of the pulps
to every four of the chaff and mix well
together, at least twelve hours before
using; then cover well up with barley
and it will be found that a quantity of
perspiration has accumulated which,
if the ingredients are of the best quali
ty as they always should be, it will be
foiuid to be most appetizing. Add to
each bushel of the mixture, when serv
ing it, two pounds of wheat bran and
two pounds of bran meal well mixed;
three pecks of this may be given twice
each day besides a quantity of hay.
This method will be found much more
beneficial than the system adopted by
many of giving the roots separate from
the meal and chaff especially for milch
cows.
Another method may be successfully
tried for the production of milk in the
shape of bran or middling mashes
given at one feeding time (in place of
roots) with a portion of chaff mixed
with it, as sloppy food not only pro
duces but retains the supply of milk
ind this may be used as a change of
3i<?t. —Ohio Farmer.
TEMPERATURE OF CREAM.
Why It Should Be Kept Neither Too Hot
Nor Too Cold.
Milk kept so cold that it cannot sour
will still in time become bitter, says
th® Creamery Journal, and milk heated
to sterilize it seems to acquire a bitter
taste after coolinp, before it becomes
acid. In fact, tho presence of bacteria
which attack the supar Aid change it
to laetic acid seem, by their action, to
cheek the bacteria which make it bitter.
Heatinp milk to 140 or ISO kills the ac
tiv-g bacteria, but some germs seem to
resist this heat and in time reproduce
the bacteria. Three heatings kill all
the germs and if none be allowed to get
into the milk from the outside it will
not sour. The line of safe action La
narrowed down to controlling the
temperature of cream so that it shall
not l>e kept so cold as to favor bitter
development, nor get so hot as to in
jure the texture of the cream, to intro
duce the right kind of bacteria obtained
from pure, clean, skimmiik kept free
from noxious surroundings, and mix it
thoroughly and uniformly with the
cream that it may multiply equally in
all portions—that is, "ripen" the cream
uniformly, as every drop of properly
ripened cream contains several hundred
thousand separate bacteria which
double every hour or oftener. It ii
easy to understand why particular care
is necessary to secure the ripht kind
and ripht stage of ripening, for if not
stopped at the proper time other bao-
Utr.a cause decomposition.
BASKET NAILING BENCH.
A Or Tire Which Ila* More Than Satisfied
It* Inventor.
I find a bench, such as shown in ac
companying' sketch, quite convenient
for nailing berry boxes. Upon a
standard i, which is a piece of scant
ling two and one-half feet long,
another piece nine inches long b is
mortised and bolted. An iron plate e,
one-quarter inch thick, screwed upon
6, serves a good purpose in clinching
nails. The seat d is two and three
qwarter feet long, and made of trwo-
BASKET NAILI.VO BKNCU.
inch plank. a foot wide. This is mor
tised anil bolted to <«, and lias two legs
at the back end, which are eighteen
and one-half inches long. The holes
through which they are inserted into
the plank seat from below should be
bored nearly but not quite through.
Upon the plunk scat, next to the stand
ard, is a little tin box, made of an
old oyster can. for receiving nails. I
am well pleased with this device.—
Popular Gardening.
How HUck Hot Starts
I ilack rot in the jrrapo Is not so severe
a pest in the north as in the south. The
winter spores arc contained in little
pustules in the dried and shriveled re
nains of the infected berries. The
I terries drop to the ground, where the
aibcrnating spores rest until spring and
ire then loosened froin the grape tissue
tnd blown upon the now green foliage.
Here they produce small oval brown
spots, not more than one-fourth Inch in
lianieter, where the pustules are
formed, which exude in jelly-like
masses, myriads of little round spores
which arc washed down upon the young
jrape cluster where they grow and send
•heir threads into the pulp of the berry,
;ausing it to turn brown, then black,
ind later to become covered with pus
tules like those upon the leaves, which
atcr form winter spores and arc ready
the following spring to begin again the
•ycle of life.—D. G. Fairehild, in Furin
ind Home.
STKAW-PII.K shelter as usually prac
ticed is an al»omination and a source of
iisease and - hould always be avoided
The Value of*CitUen«lilp.
Cassidy (to his brother Tim. Just
landed)— That's the coorthouse. We'll
dhrop in and yez can take out yure
first citizen's paper.
Tim—An' is there annything to pay?
Cassidy—A thriflc al>out twinty
cints: but sure, 'tis a good invistmiut.
In foive years it'll pay two dollars an
nu'lly at iv'ry eliction. —Puck.
A Sure Krinrdy.
A—So you have sworn off from using
tobacco?
It—Yes; 1 suffered a good deal during
the llrst week, but after that I felt all
right.
"What did you take t<> allay the crav
ing for tobacco?"
'•I took to smoking again. That al
layed the craving right off."—Texas
Sifting*. ,
Very Suaplrloai.
Magistrate—Why did you arrest this
man?
Office* —On suspicion. I thluk he's a
.Philadelphia boodler.
Magistrate— Do you know him?
Officer No, v'r honor; but he *aid ho
was from Philadelphia, and he seemed
to IK- in a hurry.—X. Y. Weekly.
<>eritlem«*n <>f I.eUure.
Kind Lady—What a nice little girl
you arc! Is your father in business in
this city?
Little Girl Business! My papa doesn't
have to bother about business.
"Ah! Gentleman of leisure, then?"
"Ycb'm; he's a detective." Good
HORSES THAT SELL.
Tilublf Sa;c''>lDi» for fiuwn Ko-
K*l[ed In ilunt Bt«'<laf.
Wo often lio ir it said that U.era U a
place for every yxid horse at a fair
price, but I tin« 1 it is much easier to
find a place for s >nv." pood horses than
for others. For instance, if one has a
good-fcteed. Nic '-l xiking, sound and safe
gentleman's d:- v-r that can trot in
three or thr - ■ a i 1 a half minutes, it is
not a liar.l 1:1 :tter to find a place for
him at the • generally asked for
that kind, say (to 5350. Or if one
has a trotter that can go three times
in S:SO and is a :;iro of race horses. It is
not a hard matter to find a customer
for him or her at a good, stiff price,
say SI,OJ >t" • :.<)>), according to age,
size, iobti hi-.-ss. etc. lint when one'
has a lior.e fiat can trot about
2:40, and no la t ;r, and is valued at
from SivW 11 >7jo, it is often quite a
hard matter to find a place for him at
whatever tie ought to bring, be he ever
so pood a horse individually.
When a man buys a horse for speed
he wants extreme speed, and nothing
slower than 2:30 will do A 2:40 horse
_ is but little bettor than a three-minute
horse for the road. When a horse is
I fit and ready for the market and the
; owner is ready to sell, then let him
! sell for what some pood customer will
I give and then try apain on another
j one. And if the animal acts particu
i larly well and there is quite a stir
about him, and you are offered all you
ask. don't pet scared and go up so high
that no one will buy, but take the
oiler if it is a fair one. If you don't,
ten chances to one the horse gets out
of fix in some way before you hare an
other offer, and no one will buy at any
price. I'nlesa a horse is something ex
traordinary in some respects it is no
use to put a fancy price on him and ex
pect to sell for cash.— A. T. Maxim, in
Horse and Stable.
TRIANGULAR IN FORM.
A Poultry House of I'nlqae Dwlp Suita
ble for Fifteen Fowl*.
The following communication, which,
\ with the illustration, is from the Poul
try World, explains the construction of
an original poultry houso: "The north
side is to stand up straight, the other
sides, fitting back edges to it and front
edges to each other, come together at
I the top. The three corners can be
neatly titt.-d and covered with a board
TKIANOL'LAR POULTRY HOUSE.
to make it tight We suppose the
building to be twelve feet at bottom on
all three sides, narrowing at the top,
which is twelve feet high. A loft can
.be put in, if desired. The glass in this
shape of building and position gives
1 full force of heat all day in winter, and
it is the best and cheapest house I
could build. It will accommodate
twelve to eighteen fowls—enough to
put together."
PIG-PEN POINTERB.
THE tendency of the market is, for
good bacon hops rather than for heavy
lard hops as has been the rule.
THE very best cure for hog cholera is
not to have it. which implies taking all
reasonable means to prevent it
Do NOT depend upon corn alone either
in feeding for growth or fattening. A
variety will be more economical—
IF the pigs must be confined care
should be taken to see that they are
supplied with a pood variety of feed.
A STRAW stack -is a very poor place
to allow hops to lay around; it is al
most certain to breed disease if it is al
lowed.
IT is quite tin item in feeding pigs tp
keep the trouphs clean and only to feed
sweet foods, this will aid to prevent
scours.
OLD sows, stockers and pigs should
never be fed together. Some era oer
tain to pet more and others less than
their full share.
OATS and clover sown together make
one of the very best feeds for growing
pigs or fattening hops during the latter
part of spring or early summer.
No DIFFERENCE if a hog will eat *l
- everything placed before him, he
should not have everything that his cor
rupted appetite craves. Clean food
will make clean jß>rk. and only cl<*n
food is healthy and will make perfectly
healthy meat.— Colman's Rural World.
IMPROVED HAY RACK.
Id fw Will Prevent the PaoKinff of Hay
In Manger*.
To prevent the packing of hay in
mangers, Mr. F. U. Lindsay has de-
B signed a new
***** form of racks.
ff r of which h e
tj sends us the ac
/FIG-3- .companying
B ' sketches: By
B packing the hay
II down into the
wedge-shaped
rack. Fig. 1. il become# wedged
tighter and tighter until by use
and continued putting in of fresh hay
the horses wil turn from the refuse
left by careless feeding: while, on the
other hand, in the plan shown In Fig.
2, there is an inverted wedge, the slope
not being sufficient to take up very
much room iu the stall. A slope of six
inches from top to bottom will allow
all the bay to slip down as the horse
takes it out from the lower part, and
no matter how tight it is stuffed at first,
as it is eaten out below the hay above
will slip of its own weight down to the
bottom. The rack is open at the lower
end, the hay being kept in by the slats
the same tis at the sides so that the
racks become almost self cleaning-
Tlicy are one and one-half feet wide at
the top. and can be made as long as de
sired—American Agriculturist.
No Fun for Bobby.
Mamma—Bobby, don't you want to
po over and play with the little Brew
ster boy?
I lobby—No; 1 don't-
Mainma— Why. Bobby, he's a nice
boy.
Hobby—Yes; he's too nice. Every
time I hit him he yells.—Judge.
Iljr the Had Sea Wave*.
"Ah, Jim, we poor folks has our
trials!"
"Yes, I'se had a good many; but it
ain't the trials what annoys me, it's the
verdicts they brinps In arterwards.
Life.
An End of Kervltado.
Mrs. Bloomer—Did you ever! Miss De
Talent, the wonderful actress, has mar
ried her manager.
Mr. Bloomer—l presume she got tired
of being managed.—N. Y. Weekly.
Love'i I«ofte>
She —Papa, may 1 marry Jack? I
could go further and fare worse.
He—You couldn't fare worse.
She—Then what's the use of mjr poing
further? —Judge.
Accounted For.
"My health is petting shaky," said
the popular old pcntlcinan.
"That's because it has been drunk BO
much." returned his crony. —Puck.
No Danffr.
Guest (in an agitated whisper)— There
are thirteen of us at this table!
Poor Ilclution —Na Only twelve I
don't count. — Chicago Tribune.