Butler citizen. (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, July 17, 1891, Image 1
VOL. XXVIII PROFESSIONAL CARDS. JOSEPH W. MILLEH, M. D. Physician and Surgeon, Office and reeidencn 11 an S. Main St. Bntler, Ta. Dr. N. M I.CJOVER, 137 E. 1103P.1L L. M. REINSEL, M. D, I'MVIICIA* AND SCBQEO.V. Office and residence at 127 E. Cunningham St, L. BLACK, ivraiciaii «r svbbbok. New Troutxoan Building, Butler, l*a- E. a. lkake, m. d. j. e. mann. m. d. Specialties: Specialties: Gynaecology and Bar- Kye, Ear. Nose and gery. Throat DRS. LEAKE A MANN, Butler, Pa. G. M. ZIMMERMAN. „ raraiciAii AMO Icsusok. Office at No. i&. S. Main street, over Frank £ Co** Diae Store. Butler. Pa. SAMUEL M. BIPPUS. Physician and Surgeon. go. 23.£aat Jefferson St., Butler, Pa.' W. R. TITZEL. PHYSICIAN SURGEON. 8. W. Corner Main and North SO.. Butler, Pa. V. McALPINE, Dentist, ta now permanently located at 120 South Main Street' BuUer. Pa., in rooms formerly ;ccoupied by Dr. Waldron. J. J. DONALDSON, Dentist. Butler, Penn'a. ArtiOctal Teeth Insetted tn the latest im proved plan. Gold Filling a specialty. Office over Senaul's Clothing store. DR. S. A. JOHNSTON. DENTIST, - - BUTLER, PA. All work pertaining to the profession, execut ed in the neatest manner. Specialties:—Gold Filling*, and Painless Ex traction of Teeth. VltallxedAU administered. <MU» M Jthrw Street. deer East ef Lewry Ihm, Wf Stairs. Office open dally, except Wednesdays and Thursday*. Communications by mall receive prompt attention, u.— The saly Deatlst la Butler asUc the best makes *f teeth. c. r. L. McQUISTION, OWIKEEB AID SUBVEYOB, OTTICB MKJkB DIAMOJTO. BrTLJB, Pj. H. Q. WALKER, Attor ney-at-L*w—Cßk-e tn Dlcmond Block Butler. P»- J. M. PAINTER, Attorney-at-Law. omct—Between rc.stcff.ce and Diamond, But ler. Pa. A. T. SCOTT, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. Office at No. 8. Bcutli Diamond. Butler. Pa. A. M. CHRISTLEY, ATTORNEY AT LAW. Office second floor. Anderson B1 k. Main BC, near Court House, Butler, Pa. J. w. HUTCHISON, ATTORNEY AT LAW. Office on second floor of the Huselton block. Diamond. Butler, Pa.. Room No. 1. JAMES N. MOORE, Attouby-at-Law axd N'otabt Public. Office In Room No. l, second floor of Huselton Block, entrance on Diamond. IRA McJUNKIN. Attorney at Law, Office at No. 11, East Jefler aon St.. Butler, Pa.; W. C. FINDLEY, Attorney at Law and Real Estate Agent. Of flee rear of L. Z. Mitchell's office on nortb side of Diamond. Butler. P*. H. H. GOUCHER. Attorney-at-law. office on second floor of Anderson building, near Court House. Butler. Pa. J. Y. BRITTAIN. Att'y at Law—Office it & K Cor. Main St, and Diamond, Butler, Pa. NEWTON BLACK. Att'y at Law—Office.on South side oQ Diamond Buffer. Pa. L. 8. McJUiNKIN, lisßrance aid Real £state Ag't 17 B.ABT JEFFEBSONJST. BUTLER, - PA. B'J I'LER COUNTY Mutual Fire Insurance Co. Office Cor. Main dc Cunningham fit*. a. C. ROESBINO, PRESIDENT. ii O. IIKINEMAN, SBOBRT/RT. DIRECTORS: O. C. Bnesslnt. Henderson Oliver, J. L Purvis, James Stephenson, A. TriMitman, H. C. Helneman. Alfred Wick, N. Weluel, Dr. W. Inrln, Dr. Rlckenbach, J. W. Burkluut, ID. T. Norm. LOYAL S. K'JUNKIH, Agent. jSTJTJLiICIR,, PA. A. £. QABLE, "V eterinary Surgeon.. Graduate of the Ontario Veterinary College, Toronto, Canada, Dr. Gable treata all diaeaaes of the domesticated animals, and m*kes ridgling, castration and horse den tistry a specialty. Castration per formed without clams, and all otfter surgical operations performed in the most scientific manner. Calls to aoy part of the country promptly responded to. Office and Infirmary in Crawford's Livery, 133 West Jefferson Street, Patter, Pa. THE BUTLER CITIZEN. WEARE READY To show you the largest and lowest priced stock of FURNITURE in the country. Don't forget to call and see our Parlor Suits, 0 pieces, upholster ed in Crushed and Silk Plush. Two beautifiil pictures and one handsome oak Parlor Table for #SO. We also have a Parlor Suit for #25, as follows: (5 chairs, upholstered in plush; 1 rocking-chair, up holstered in plush; 1 sofa, upholstered in plush; all for the low price of #25. Our oak bed-room suit for $lB can be bouylit only at our store for the price. We have China Closets for any price you want them from S2O up. Parlor Cabinets from $8 up. Side boards from S2O up. We have any kind of furniture at any price you want. Campbell & Templeton, 136 NORTH MAIN STREET. BUTLER, PA I WE have endeavored during our first years business with the citizens of Butler and surrounding country, to give them first class goods at reasonable prices, and by fair dealing to merit their patronage. That our efforts have been appreciated is evidenced by the amount of business we have done. Thanking our patrons for past favors, we hope by straight-forward dealing to merit a further share of the same. E. S. DREW, - 128 E. Jefferson, St. KURNIT CJ R E ! If you want a perfect fitting suit gr> to HABERNIGC 202 S. Main St., New Troutman Building, Rutler, Pa. Clothing uncalled for in Bradford sells for half price, mostly winter goods. STOCK ENTIRELY NEW Fine Watches, Clocks, Jewelry, Silverware and Spectacles At lowest cash prices at •J. R. Gr R I K B ' No. 125 X. Main St., - Duffy Block. Sign of Electric Bell and Clock. EVERT WATERPROOF COLLAR OR CUFF —————l THAT CAN EE RELIED ON B jo P IttTot to Split! THE MARK 3NT Q "t to DlSCOlor! "J BEARS THIS MARK. # TRADE ELLU LOI o MARK. NEEDS NO LAUNDERING. CAN BE WIPED CLEAN IN A MOMENT. THE ONLY LINEN-LINED WATERPROOF COLLAR IN THE MARKET. THE BABIES' PROTEST. Baby Brighteyes: "We are three babies, earnestly protesting Against the things which torture us and kill. We'll try to make our story interesting—" A! 1 isweetly)—"We will." Bai.y Uoldenhair: I "When riding in our carriage clever, Plestse keep the sun out of our eyes so blue; It hurts ui and may spoil our sight forever —" S All (pleadingly)—"Pleise, da" Baby Sweetheart: "In case we're being brought upon a l>ottle (Arainst which fraud we kick with all our might) Please watch it so ourselves we do not throt tic—** All (thoughtfully)—" Please do." B. B.—"And keep it clean; don't let tho milk get soured By being churned while riding in the sun. If 'infant food' is not with zest devoured—" j All (decidedly)—" Give none." B. G. —"In keep as cool and bathe us I often. i Or else we'll be real angels in the sky. Then when you >ee us in our eoOn—" j All (sorrowfully)—" You'll cry." B. S.—"We don't want cruel nurses to neglect I us> And slap us little nuisances—no good—' Our mammas ought to care for and protect us—" All (lovingly^—"They should." 18. B.—"We do not want old ladies or young misses. With teeth decayed or foulsome stomach • breath. To smother our poor, helpless lips with kisses —" All (angrily)—"it's death." B G. "We don't want folks to trot, rock, dance or Jounce us Till we throw up from being sea sick made; We don't like men to toss us high and bounce us—" All (shivrringly)—"We're 'fraid." B. S.—"Strange women mustn't say. whene'er they greet us: I "We're too. too sweet to live,' and at us fly, Like Robin Hood's big wolf and play they'll eat | us—" AII (fearfully)—"We cry I" B. B —"When women, making faces, say to charm ns: "Oo 'ittle pittie tootsie wootsie oo,' They seem so soft—or crazy, they alarm us—" All (affrightedly)—"Boo-hoo!" B. G.—"We don't want clothing tight enough to i bind us So we can't kick to make our bodies strong: And we don't like small sisters forced to mind us—" All (sympathetically) —"That's wrong." B. S. "When we grow big we'll pay you more than double For all the care your duty 'tis to show— And we won't ever say yo>< are a trouble—" All (tenderly)—"Oh, no:" —H. C. Dodge, in Goodall's Sun. PART AN BRIDGE'S WIFE. Her Presence Had a Wonderful Effect on Him. n . E ' s a ver - v AySL"~%y x nice woman, my /Mr Y,f I dear Micklebcr \v' - ry, a very nice ?• V., woman, in \ • \ . deed!" said *72' \^' r ' •** ar 1a n " vjjyfjw \ bridge, sajrely; •% V "but you allow i !; '.too much! For i n s 1 ance, m y ' 'should ' ' never tell me W\N x C not to smoke in the parlors on account of the curtains!" "It docs turn em yellow," observed Mr. Mickleberry, thoughtfully. "(iranted—but what becomes of your conjugal superiority? And then you didn't buy that corner lot because she advised you not to! What is a woman's judgment worth in a matter of business like thai, .Mickle berry?" "Mary knows more than half the men going," parenthetically asserted Mr. Mickh-ljerry. "Excuse me. Miekleberry, but you don't keep her in her place! Don't the Scriptures expressly say that woman is the weaker Mrs. Partanbridgc venturing to oppose me! - ' Mr. Mit-klcberry looked admiringly at hi> bijr friend. "How do you manage it. Partan bridge?" he questioned a little timidly. "Tact, my dear fellow—tact, dig nity, supremacy! I wouldn't have mentioned it if circumstances hadn't pointed directly to the fact, but you are getting hen-pecked, Miekleberry. Everybody notices it. You must gather up the reins of domestic man agement—you must assert yourself.'" Mr. Miekleberry laughed. "I'ut what is the use of asserting my self'.'" he sisked. jocosely. "Every thing goes on like clockwork at home "so HE'S HIKE, IS HB?" —Mary always meets me with a smile —she spends the money sensibly, and never usks ine for an unnecessary cent!" "Does she tell you how she spends it?" "Not always, but—" Mr. Part an bridge interrupted his friend with a groan. "Oh, thc->e women, theso women! I should like to see my wife buying a silk dress, as Mary did last week, with out first consulting ine." "Ilut she had saved the money out of her housekeeping funds." "Then, my dear fellow, it's a sign that you (five her too much money for housekeeping. Cut her down—draw the purse-strings a little tighter." Mr. Miekleberry looked uncomfort able. "I—l should hardly like to do that, Pantan bridge." "You'll never be master of your own house until you do." Mr. Moses Miekleberry went home and told his wife all about what Part anbridgc had said. Mary laughed and colored, but she was a little angry withal. "1 wish Mr. Partanbridge would mind his own business," said she. "I'm tired of hearing about 'my wife.' She must be a poor, spiritless concern." "Partanbridgc is a man of great abil ity," said Moses, gravely. "Fiddlesticks!" said Mrs. Miekleber ry. "A regular hen-hussy—a thorough going- Miss Nancy!" "I'm sorry you feel so about him, my dear," said Mosea; "for he doesn't like the place where he is boarding now, and I told him he might occupy our spare room for a few days." "Oh, I've no objections to that," said Mrs. Miekleberry, composedly. "I'm always glad to entertain your friends, my dear, even if they are not the most agreeable people in the world, and I dare say I can get along with Mr. Par tan bridge for a few days." "You're a little jewel, my dear," said Moses, and he forgot all Partanbridge's Insinuations at once. Mr. Partan bridge came, bagand bag gage, and ! .<ik possession of the "spare room" in the Miekleberry mansion as importantly as if In had been the Grand Turk. Anil thenceforward "my wife" began, figuratively speaking', to trample Mary Miekleberry into dust. BUTLER, PA., FRIDAY. .1 I'LY 17, IH9I. "My wife" spent no money; "my wife" went now here: "my wife" would sooner cut off her hand thau to go to a woman's rights conver* Tfi "U»y wife" was 11 t literary, but spent Tier Hays do ing housework, and her evenings mend ing stockings. She hel'l her husband in salutary awe, never spoke when she wasn't spoken to—in short, knew her place. "And how did you manage it, Parian bridge?" asked Mr. Mickle'ocrry once again, in the admiration of his soul. Mr. l'artanhridge waved his hand loftily. "Miekleberry!" said he, "there are some things that can't be expressed in words." "Fortunately!" put in Mrs. Miekle berry. who wa> sewing away as vigor ously as if every stitch were an unut tered protest. "And," went on Mr. Partanbridge, ]as if he had not heard the inter- I ruption, "it is woman's duty to listen — ! to submit —to keep silent!" j "There goes the doorbell," observed Mrs. Miekleberry; "will you go, Moses? it is Bridget's evenir.r out." "My wife," commenced Mr. l'artan : bridge, "would never have asked me to perform so menial an office as—" He stopped short as a loud, mascu line voice was heard in the entry be low stairs. • • I>, 1 Job l\ir_.ini r. ._v lure? Yes? Oh. all right—tell "cn{ to bring the trunks, and yon. hackman, a dol lar's enough fare. You'll get no more out of me. Clear out, and let's hear no more of your grumbling* So he's here, is he? A pretty chase I've had after him." Mrs. Mieklelv rry looked up at the blanching countenance of Mr. Job Partanbridge in surprise and bewilder ment "Who can that loud-voiced woman possibly be?" she asked. "Surely there is some mistake." "N-no!" quoth Mr. Partanbridge, with chattering teeth, "it is—my wife." "Mrs. Partanbridge? Can it be possi ble?" and hospital'le little Mary Mickle berry dropped her work and hastened to greet and welcome her new guest, the paragon among women, the meek and lowly and well-trained wife of the doughty Job. Mrs. Partanbrid, re came into the room with the tread of a giantess and the aspect of an Amazon. She was a tail, large woman, red-iaced and reso lute, with the faint shade of a mustache on her upper lip. and a deep voice like that of a grenadier, and she wore her cloak as if it hail been a man's over coat, the two sleeves tied round her neck, while her sailor hat would have been a snug fit for her husband. She sat down, at Mrs. Mickleberry's invitation, with a force that made the chair crack and tremble in its every joint and thrust out her feet. "Pull off those rubbers," said she to Job, and the husband promptly went down on his knees to perform the be hest "Not so rough—you're as clumsy as ever, 1 see; and now tell me why you didn't send the money for me to join you before?" "I—l couldn't spare it from my busi ness Drusilla, my dear." stammered Job, growing scarlet. "Hang up my cloak to dry—and get me a footstool for my feet!" command ed Mrs. Partanbridge. "Look sharp about it, too! Well, I borrowed fifty dollars from Deacon Fndcrhill, and I've come on on my own hook. I'm tired of being poked away in the backwoods while you're playing the fine city gent and I'll not stand it any longer; be sides, I wanted to attend tha U'mnan'R Suffrage association, and I'm a member of the Sedleyvillo Branch of Female Rights Advocates. You've got a nice house here, ma'am." turning to Mrs. Miekleberry. "I might have had a house of my own if Job Partanbridge had used common sense in his busi ness affairs, and listened te my advice a little." "Drusilla, my dear —" interposed Mr. l'artanbridge, but his wife darted a leonine glance at him. "Job Partanbridge, will you hold your tongue, and speak when you're spoken to'?" she demanded, tarfly. "Certainly, my dear, certainly! - ' "Then let's have a specimen of it. As I was saying, Mrs. Micklebcrry— Job, go downstairs, and look in the big-liandlcd basket on top of the trunk in the hall, and get me my handker chief and the camphor bottle with the little wicker-ease round it—as I was saying, that sort of thing is just about played out, so far as I am concerned. Job hasn't no more wit than a yellow dog when he's left to himself —you know you haven't, Job, so you may just as well leave off opening and shutting your mouth like a newly landed fish—and 1 mean to be boss my self, Job." "Yes, dear." "Bring me the roc'-.ing-chair—now move the screen so the fire won't shine in my eyes. And get a hack early to morrow morning, and see that I ain furnished money; I want to do a little shopping." "Yes, my dear." said Job Partan bridge. "And be ready to go with inc at eleven to the suffrage rooms. I must render the report of Sedleyville branch." "Yes, dear," assented the husband. At this stage Mrs Micklebcrry inter rupted the orders of the commanding general of the Partanbridge division by a tray containing tea, toast, and other feminine refreshment. Mrs. Partan bridge received them with a contemp tuous sniff. "My good lady," said she, "I dare say you mean well, but 1 don't feed oil such slops! Job!" "Yes, Drusilla!" "Go round to the nearest restaurant and get me a bottle of Dublin stout and a dish of stewed tripe. You'll ex cuse me, ma'am," to Mrs. Micklebcrry, "but we all have our little ways, and this is mine." Away went Job Partanbridge, like an arrow fleeing from the bow, and "lIKIXG MB THE ROCKING CIlAIIi." Boon returned with the required dain ties, off which "my wife" supped sump tuously. "Take my things upstairs, Job!" said Mrs. Partanbridge, when she had satisfied the cravings of nature: "I've hail a long day of travel, and I guess I'll go to bed early." If ever mortal man looked cowed, wretched and dismal. Job Partanbridge did the next morning, when he made his appearance at the breakfast table. Mrs. Micklebcrry could not resist one little mischievous hit. "I congratulate you. Mr. Partan bridgtf," she said, "upon the excellent manner in which you have developed your theories as to conjugal discipline." | Mr. Partanbridge choked eonvulv ively over his coffee. "ilushl" he cried. "Hush! she is | eomlnal" "Who is coming"?" "My wife!" Hut. ah! how differently he pro nounced the low, magic words from the way in which he had spoken them twenty-four hours ago! Mr. and Mrs. Job Partanbridge left the Miekleberry roof that very day for a hotel handier to the "woman's suf frage bureau." and that was the last Mary and her husband ever 'ward of "my wife" or In r humble slave, the de voted Job. Helen F. Graves, in N. Y. Weekly. ROYAL GAME. Sere Disappointment of a Hunter Who MU«ed an Ibn. The ibex is of a light-brown color, the males being rather darker than the females; but the oldest males undergo a complete change in appearance, be coming light gray, with a clearly-de fined black shoulder stripe, which gives them a very smart appearance. It is a sight to stir the heart of a hunter to see such a one sunning himself on some tower of rock, and, by way of morning exercise, bending his head to the ground and driving his sw#d-like black horns into some bush, of which he "makes hay" in about two minutes. I only once got a chance at one of these grand old "billies," and that I muddled. We had taken r.' f ;i ' ■ from a sharp shower i:i a cave, or rather shelf on the cliff. protected by a long over hanging rock. The rain drifted in, and Celestin carried my rifle to one end where it was m ire sheltered. We made a fire at the other etui, and were sitting over it, w :-n. with a fixed stare, Omar pointed with his linger over my shoulder. There, about a hundred yards off, was a splendid malt ibex such as I have described, with black horns which curved back nearly t<< his tail. There are not more than two or three like that on the mountain, lie was quite unsuspicious, and calmly moving down the mountain, on account of the bad weather, I suppose. Risking discovery, I crept to the place where mv rifle lay. Two trees grew across that end of the opening, and I could not si. ot from there. Back I crawled and sat down for the shot. He was slowly stalking down the rocks, but still within easy range. I leveled my piece, but at toat moment a gust of wind blew the flame and smoke across my line of r,ight, and I could see noth ing. The next instant he was round a rock and gone. I nearly turned sick with desperation. Of course, we fol lowed and tried t lind him again- an all but hopeless task in the complica tions of this hill. In the course of the search we got wet through, and in try ing to dry my -out over the lire Celes tin burned the back of it, my best "go-to-meeting" one, as it happened; but I would give twenty coats, to have got that beast. —Nineteenth Century. —ln Court.—"Now collect yourself, my man, and tell us the whole truth about the affair." " I assure you, your honor, I could not say anything differ ent from what I have said, not if you were to make mincemeat of me."— From Fliegonde lilatter. AN ANCIENT "SELL." Tho Hugo Joko Played J'pon a Qnarry man of Carrara. Not many travelers visit Carrara, where the finest <>f marble is constant ly l>eing quarried, as it has been for so many centuries, but, once there, much may be found in the way of legend and 6cenery to occupy the curious mind. In numerable stories float about the place, says a writer in Cornhill, concerning the existence of hidden treasures. Gold has often been found in the neighborhood of the town, and not very long ago a crock of gold coins was un earthed beneath one of the streets. A most curious experience, however, was that of a quarry man who, in one of his rambles, stumbled upon an old de serted quarry, within which, half buried in grass and brambles, lay an enormous block of heavy marble. On examining it, ho found a number of letters rudely cut, and half-hidden un der :L crust of dirt. With some diffi culty he managed to spell out the words: "Blessed is he who shall turn me over." The man at once jumped at the con clusion that he had stumbled up>u hidden treasure, and that his fortune was made. He rushed homo and col lected some of his friends to aid him in the recovery of the concealed gold, After some very hard labor they suc ceeded in 'turning the hoary giant over. Another rude inscription met their eager eyes: '"Thanks, my friends. I was weary of reposing so long in one position!" VISITORS EXPENSIVE. Th« Cost «r Intrrruptlni; :i I .urge liixlj of Workwomen' A party of ladies and gentlemen were shown through a large carpet establish ment in Broadway a few days ago, says the New York Times. They were per mitted to look into every nook and cor ner of the building except one. At the bottom of the stairway leading to the top floor they came upon a closed door upon which were the words: "Positive ly Xo Admittance." The curiosity of the ladies was* awakened at once. "What is up there?" inquired one eagerly. "That is our workshop," ex plained the representative of the firm. "We have one hundred and fifty women on that floor sewing carpets." "O, I should so like to see them at work," said the fair questioner with a playfully beseeching look. "I am sorry that I cannot take yon up there," replied the firm's representa tive, "but the rules are very strict. Really, there is nothing worth looking at, and there are no trade secrets there. The reason why the firm interdicts visitors is because the presence of strangers in the room causes every sew ing-woman to look up and it takes her attention off her work from one to five minutes. Suppose each woman loses an average of two minutes. With one hundred and fifty women that means a loss to the firm of three hundred min ntes, or five hours of time. That is too much timo to lose when we are work ing under a full head of steam, as we are now." AM ENGLISH HERO. U« S:4Vrn His \Voul«l-llo Koscucr from a Watery Grav«. An exciting story of the rescue from drowning of a Japanese, by an English man whose life the Japanese himself had set out to save, is told in a Japanese paper, the Kobe Shimbun. The Eng lishman was a resident of Tokio. Be ing <m his way to Yokohama, and find ing no ferryboat, owing to the swollen state of the river, he determined to swim across with his clothing in a bun dle tied on his head. The daring attempt attracted a crowd of sightseers, one of whom, observing that the stranger was apparently in dif ficulty, plunged in and swam to his res cue. Tho Japanese was a good sw bu rner, but the waters ran swiftly, his strength gave out, and he was carried down-stream. Then arose aery from the spectators, for they saw that tho Japanese was going to sink. Uy this time the Englishman had al most reached the opposite bank, lint when he heacJ tho cries of the crowd he turned about, and peeing the drown ing Japanese, he again faced the cur rent, and coming up with the. drowning man caught him with one arm, and swimming with tV- band he brought him ashore amid the cheers of the erow J. "Llow chivalrous was his action!" ex claims tho Japanese journalist in con clusion. "His name We know not. but he has our highest admiration." A FORTY-DOLLAR MISTAKE. Two Rldder« for One Man at an Auction Kale A- lowa man, who is 4 great lover of horses, ar l who keeps a grocery store and a livery-stable, was desirous of ob taining a certain hor-o which was to be disposed of at a public sale of h gentle man's estate He knew that it would never do for him to bid in person, as the auctioneer, aware of his weakness for fine animals, would manage by one means or another to run up the price. The story is told in the Chicago llerald. The grocer and livery-keeper ar ranged to have another man bid off the horse for him, but when the hour of the sale arrived he felt that he must be present and see to it that his instruc tions were carried out. lie arrived a little late, and just ua the horse was being sold Yes. there was his man .(ones, true to his trust, tn the midst of the crowd that surroi.mied the fine animal. Just at that mc ment Jones bid one hundred and thirty-five dollars. Some 'me must have immediately nodded five better, for in another mo ment Jones bid one hundred and fifteen. From itne unseen bidder the ai etion eer received another advance cf five t dollars. That was as much aj the horse was worth, but Jones had orders to buy it at almost any price, and lie preoiptly raised his offer to one hundred and twenty. So matters went on till Jones' bid v. as one hundred and thirty-five dob • lars. At that point the livery-keeper I mounted a box to see what fool wanted the horse so badly On the further edge of the crowd stood Smith, and just : as he nodded another five, it flashed ' upon the livery-keeper that he had told Smith to do exactly w hat, iu his forget fulnesss, he hr. l afterward instructed Jones to do. He lost no time in stopping the fun. which had already cost him about forty I dollars. OCEAN CABLES. : Coat an<l Extent of th«* Snhmarin* T«le graph Sfittcm of the World. According to the latest report of the international bureau of telegraph ad ministrations, the submarine telegraph system of the world consists of 120.070 nautical miles of cable Government administrations, says Scribncr, own 12.- 324 miles, while 107.5Ki are the proper ty of private companies. The total cost of these cables is in the vicinity of 6-00,000.000 The largest owner of sub marine cables is the f!:;stern Telegraph Company, whose system covers the ground from England to India, and comprises 21,800 miles of cable The eastern extension, which exploits the far east, has li.'j.'S miles more Early in that year the system of West African cables, which started from Cadiz only six years a™o. was completed to Cape Town, so that the dark continent is now completely encircled by submarine tel cgraph, touching at numerous points along the coast. More than 17,000 miles of cables have been required to do this, and several companies, with more or less aid from the British. French, Span ish and Portugecse governments, have participated iu carrying out the work. The north Atlantic is spanued by no less than eleven cables, all laid since 1579, though not all are working at the present time; five companies are en gaged in forwarding telegrams between North America and Europe, and the to tal length of the cablesowned by them, including coast connections, is over 30.- 000 nautical miles. NORMAN HUMOR. The Legend of the Kevulvfng Rocb of Normandy. Superstitions about rocks, which were once popular among the peasant classes of Europe, are (lying out The familiar legend is of a rock wliicli, moved at a certain time by some strange witch craft, revolves or rolls aside and dis closes treasure hidden beneath, the time usually being specially inconven ient for witnesses, as for Instance, "on the stroke of twelve 011 Christmas eve." A peculiar story of this kind is still told in Normandy. M. Julien Tiersot writes of it in the Ilevue des Traditions Popu lates: In the neighborhood of Caudbec-en- Caux there is a stone which, the coun try people say, revolves while the bells ring the Angelus at noon on Good Fri day. A walk In tlio country in the spring at the hour of noon is an agreea ble diversion, and the sceptical stranger readily consents to go and see the al leged magical stone. The stranger and his escort reach the stone and wait Time passes It ia af ternoon. "But the stone has not moved," he says. "Wait, you have not heard the An gelus rung yet" is the smiling reply, and one might wait forever, for on Good Friday the Angelus is never rung The Green Cloth In Church. The church uaturally took more or less of the local color in early times, says the IJutte City Miner, and the anomaly of a professional gambler as a leading church member might easily occur. A story goes that there were several of these men who were pretty regular attendants at church in Last Chance gulch. As United States money was scarce and gold dust was the ordinary medium of exchange. It sometimes happened that the knights of the green baize had no money with them when the plate went around. On such occasions they would toss a faro or poker chip into the dish, and the deacon would go the next day and have the dust weighed out in payment It was not uncommon for amounts to range from ten dollars to twenty dollars. It is said the knights are not so reckless In these days, and that they are rarely seen at church. Their tribe is not extinct, bu'Jbusincss T'tfc them is far from brisk. A Outer Collision. A collision between a ship and aa omnibus is something rare; but ono is just reported from Hamburg. The baa was crossing a bridge and the vessel poked her jibbooin Into It. but nobody was hurt. An Antl-Paiilo Chair. A new form of chair for use in theaters, music halls, etc., is now being introduced into England. This chair is already in use in several theaters in Germany and is intended not only to prevent panic in case of fire, etc., by enabling the audience to gain the exit doors more easily than hitherto, but also to allow ollicials of the theaters and members of the audience to move with freedom from one place to an other. For this purpose the seat fcnd back of the chair lire free to move, and are connected suitably together, so that by means <«f a counterbalance weight a mere touch of the hand will cause the seat and the 1 >ack to uu >ve simultaneous ly on hinges to a vertical position, the seat by raising and the back by lowering, thereby allowing free passage along or through the tiers. The very idea of KUeh a device, when tin; absurd amount of inconvenience and annoyance suffered in comparative patience by the ordinary theater-goer is considered, raises up visions of comfort and plgMs ure which it seems hard to lielieve will ever be realized. California In 1813. In an old geography printed in 1812 appears the following; "California is a wild and almost unknown land. Throughout the year it is covered with dense f w-s, u.-> damp asunhcalthfuL In the interior are volcanoes and vast plains of shifting snow, which some times shoot columns to great heights. This would seem nearly incredible were it not for the well-authenticated accounts of travelers." DEBT. We r''y a man whet la debt; No -'.: re In life tloea be gebt; His Lead It wtu ache t r. ni lying awacbe At at r -hl* to worry and frebt. Ho fxjfTows from every friend until they refuse Ida to lieu J; In time he become* To even bis cbnmes A nuisance desptse.l to •*.' lend. He locks no one straight la the cy«; Without ready cash he must bye On tick and take tough. Unsalable stough. And pay for it awfully bye. He Isn't a free man at all; To those whom he owes he must crsll An.: cringe and obey And bide from their wey Disguised In s bonnet and shall. Without auy sys -m of guard His money melts quicker than luard. And when It Is goqe His watch he must pone; For others he has to work huard. When old not a comfort he knows; "Dead broke" to the poorhouse he gowi And suffers, of course. The keenest romourse Till "Potter's Field" endeth his wow*. MORAL. Dunn hill it is easy to roll But once you get Into the boll Of debt you may climb. Yet never In tlmb Ot out to save body or soli. —H. C. Dodge, In Goodall's Sua. Crocodile* and Birds. I have watched upon many occasions the stealthy advance of a crocodile to j capture small birds, when in flights of many thousands they liaye settled upon yielding branches of dwarf willows, writes Sir Samuel Baker, in "Wild Beasts and Their Ways." The elastic boughs bent down ljeneath the weight of the innumerable flock, and the croc odile's head appearwl above the surface at a distance, bank l>elo\v, and quickly reappeared (the eyes and crown alone above water) within ten yards of the unsuspecting birds, all of whom were busily engaged in twittering excite ment, quarreling for places, and occa sionally dipping their beaks in the wa ter when tlie bending twigs permitted them to drink. In a few moments after the disappearance of the wary eyes a tremendous splash was accompanied by a pair of open jaws which swept the occupants of the lower branches into the greedy throat. An Ingenious Device. The principle of the expansion and contraction of a metallic loop made of German silver and steel when exposed to varying temperatures lias been util ized for automatically shutting off gas when it has l>een blown out instead of being turned off in the usual way. One end of the loop, which is adjusted clo6c to the gas flame, is free, while the other is secured to tlie fl»:tnre. A valve con trolling the gas is attached to the free end, and when the gas is burning the valve is open and the gas freely escapes. If, howevpr, the gas is blown out the loop will quickly cool and contract and the valve will shut off the gas. The device is exceedingly simple and it re sponds quickly to the change in tem perature. The Champion Jumper. They had been speaking of big jump#. "There's a friend of mine in the circus business," said Aliround, "who thinks nothing of jumping over Ave men in line." "Pshaw!" said Fishlets, "1 know a man who once jumped about a hundred people." "Oh! say, now! \|*hat do you take me for?" "It's Just as 1 said. The people he jumped were creditors." And then they smiled all round.— Light. A Lucky Lawyer. An Austin lawyer caught a tramp In his office stealing some law books, which tlie latter intended to pawn. Seizing the intruder by the collar, the lawyer exclaimed: "You scoundrel, I'll have you tried and sent to the penitentiary." "Let go my neck, colonel. If you are going to have me tried, I reckon I'd better engage you as my lawyer, as you have the luck to be on hand," replied the tramp. —Texas Sittings. QUITE NATURAL. " ' r Mrs. Lippie (to grocer)— Tell Mr. All spice I'm going to leave him if he doesn't give me better measure. Boy—Why, what's been wrong? Mrs. Lippie—The last butter he sent mc was half a pound short. Boy—Oh, yer mustn't mind dat. It's only his weigh.—Munsey's Weekly. A Terennlal Mystery. Average Man —These papers just make me sick. Nothing in them but commonplace personal items about a lot of nol>«lics no one ever heard of. Friend—l saw a little mention of you in the Sunday Gammon. Average Man (half an hour later, to messenger boy)— Here, rush around to the Gammon office and get me forty copies of the Sunday edition.—N. Y. Weekly. Too Much of a ClAd Thing. "Did you see the notice I gave you?" said the editor to the grocer. "Yes; and I don't want another. The man who says I've got plenty of sand, that the milk I sell is of the first water, that there are no flics on my sugar, and that my butter is the strongest in the market, may mean well, but he is not the man I want to flatter me a second time." —Harper's Bazar. Proper I>i»clpIloe. Meek little llcnnpcct lay at the point of death. With streaming eyes tne family had assembled about the bedside to hedr his last sad words. "John! John!" cried the weeping wife, "you mustn't leave me!" Slowly Henn pect's dimmed eyes sought her face and in an apologetical little voice ho mur mured meekly: "Just as you say, Maria, just as you say."—Life. He Wasn't Equipped. "I cannot marry you, Reginald,'' said Maud, "but you mustn't mind. There arc as fine fish in the sea as were ever caught, you know." "I know," replied Reginald, "but they won't take anything but the most expensive kind of artificial bait, and 1 aui going toquit fishing. Detroit Free Press. Very Remarkable. Miss De Pink—Did you hear about Miss Bullion's engagement to a foreign nobleman? Mr. Goodfello—Yes, everybody it talking of it. "Isn't it remarkable?" "Yes, indeed. They say she is marry ing him for love." —N. Y. Weekly. An Heroic Kemedy. Clara—Why in the world are you go ingto marry Mr. Slimptirse? lie hasn't a [K'tiny to bless himself with. Dora—The doctor said nothing would cure these horrid little plmplea but • long continued low diet, and I'm deter mined to save my complexion. —N. Y. ISTO. 36 > I . Mistaken Fw— There is such a thin# as mistaken economy. Some thiugs Ui cad Mm 1 done more cheaply than we em do them ourselves. It would not be MO riomical for our young doctor to saw bis own wood and take care of his horse If these interfered with his duty to his patients, any more than it would be for the wood sawy«y to prescribe his own medicines to save the doctor's feet "l>o yon know," aid a prosperous law-} yer to his follow ! raVeler on the suburb-' an train. "1 beliuvo I'll reshingle nay' barn during the court vacation. I might Just as well a. not save the money."* "H'm!" said his friend, dubiously. "I hope you will save money, but I doubt if that is an economical way to do it" The lawyer did not see the force of this remark until he slid oft the roof sad broke hi . arm. Then he counted up bin pain, the djctjr's bill and the expense of shingling, which had to be done any how. and .sent word to his friend thst if he "saved much more money thst wsy, he would bo ruined."— Youth's Coca pan ion. —Weary Watkina— "What's become o' Miserable Johnson? He oughter been albug here a week ago." Hungry Hig gins— "He's in jail. He was tryin' to follow the new sowveneer spoooj fashion an' the boss of the beaneiy ketchcd him in the set."—lndianapolis Journal. It Would n« t'Mfnl to Kw- Innocent Girl from Mountainous Re gion— What are you reading. Cousin Henry? Cousin Henry—A book on pathology. Girl—Oh, I understand! Pathology is the science of finding paths. You must really lend me that book. Cousin Henry, for at home I'm always losing my way. -■l'harmaceutic&l Era. Money Enoaffc. The ri<Jh woman who was shocked hear her daughter say: "A penny for your thoughts," when she ought to have offered a dollar, has a relative in Cali fornia, of whom the San Francisco Ex aminer relates a "true anecdote." She is not unknown in fashionable so ciety, her wealth drawing about her a set of admiring followers. Lately she had some affection of the throat, and called a physician. After an examine tion, he said: "Madam, 1 shall have to touch two or three of the affected spots with nitrate of silver." "Oh, doctor, please don't do thatl" an swered the patient. "Csc nitrate of gold. The expense is quite immaterial." A Strong Reason. She was having a confidential talk with her aunt. "I can never marry Harry Westlock," she said, in a tone wbich Implied that it was useless to talk about it. "I never can." "And why can't you?" asked her aunt. "I'm sure I should think any, gilr would esteem it an honor to be Harry Westlock's He is very] wealthy, too. Why cant yon many him?" "Because he hasn't asked me tO|j and I know he never will."—Boatoal Herald. _________ New Ufht oa Raleigh. The earl of Leicester, alone of all Elizabeth's court, declined to enthuse over the gallantry of Sir Walter Ra r leigh in throwing his cloak into the mud so that her majesty's feet would not be wet. "Why are you so glum over it, Leiee* ter?" asked Ben Jonson. "Not jealous} I hope?" "Not at all," returned the earl; "but it was my cloak." —Puck. Making a Sure Thing of It. Rowne de Bout— Have you met Mies Chilton yet? Upson Downes — No, I called there last Friday afternoon, and she was out. Rowne de Bout — That's strange. I called there the same afternoon, and she was in. Upson Downes (dryly) The neat time I call on her, I shall go with you. —Puck. Those IU-Natured People. Clara (haughtily)— l went to the the ater every night last week and had a different escort each time. Rival Belle (vindictively)— You should be more cautious, my dear. "Cautious?" "Yes my dear. 111-natured people all over town are saying you can't Jet the same man to go with you twice."— N. V. Weekly. UIS cor SHIP DIDN'T DECIDE. "So yez has an order iv arrest for Mrs. Moguire, an' yez proposes to take me wfd yez. Young man, allow me to ax how yez intind goin* along wid roc; is it an ambulance or in rimnantst" —Life. No Kind of a Fellow. Kate —I'm not going to have Clarence Bashley call on me any more. He's too bashful for anything. Delia—How is he? Kate—Why, 1 asked how long his arm we.-*, and he said 33 inches. I then told him that was just the sire of my waist, and he never did anything.—Boston Herald- Out of tlie Proceeds. Ole Mars —Where did you get that new suit, uncle? Uncle Jasper—Woof I I done strike er mighty big streak cr luck, suah enough, sah! Olc Mars—How do you mean? Uncle Jasper—Well, sah, my wife she done got er job takin' in washin', sah! —Puck. Safety. The Blase Girl—Don't ask me for an other dance. Van Ilensy. Go and dance with Kitty. There she Is ready to fell down and worship you. Van llentsarelow — Aw, yesl But don't you know she lets everyone know that she worships me while you conceal it. It's safer to be with you.—Munsey's Weekly. Amblgaoua. Clerk (to patent medicine man) — Here is a curious credential from one of our customers. Medicine Man —Read it. Clerk--"Before 1 took your elixir my face was a sight. \ou ought to see it now. Send mo another bottle for my mothcr-indaw." —Jury. And Willie Went to Bed. Little Willie—Say, Mr. Jiggs, won't you Ist me see your collection of china and things some time? Mr. Jiggs—Why, we haven't any such collection, Willie. "No? I thought you did, as mamma said you and Mrs. Jiggs had such a lot of family jars." —Light. A Point In Natural History. Sanso—lt is easy to prove that a man is but a worm. Rodd—Prove it. San-so— When he goes fishing for • wife he uses himself for bait.—Mua-