VOL. XXV 1 TI Robes and Blankets As cold wentber approaches horse owners \ 11 save money by buying tin horse blank ents, knee roL , tc.. now. A good warm blanket on a ! horse in cold weather saves! more for the owner than any- j thing else. | 1 The largest and most com plete line of robes,blankets,har- . ness,whips,trunks, valises, etc., in the county,and at. the lowest j prices, will alwxys be tound at! Fr. KEMPER'S, 124 N. Main St., Butler, Pa D. E. JACKSON. < 103 8. Main St. - - Butler, Pa. Everybody Delighted. Who are in need of Seasonable Goods. Having bought a large Stock of Fall and Winter Goods, and owing to bad weather and worse roads, they have not been going out as fast as they ongbt to We have CUT PRICES AWAY DOWN, as we must on account of scarcity of room close them out to make room for Spring Goods. If you want a Cloak, Jacket or Bhawl NOW IS YOUR CHANCE. Or if you want Blankets, Comfort*. Underwear. Ladies' or Gents', Flan nels, Canton Fla »nel or anything in that line. COME NOW before the Stock is broken, bnt DON'T FORGET to examine oor large stock of Dress Goods, which are included in this CUT, Also Fanty and Dress Plushes, Black Sniah and Gros Grain Silks, •11 Marked Down. Full Again. We mean our wall paper de partment, full and overflowing with our immense and choice stock of paper hangings. You must help us out, we haven't room lor half our goods, until you relieve us of some of them. We have the choicest selec tion of patterns in every grade from Brown Blanks at 10 cts to Gilts at from 20 cts to Si per double bolt. Examine our Stock. J. H. Douglass, Near Postotfice, Butler, Pa. Rare Bargains, Extraordinary Bargains are offer ed here in UNDERWEAR. HOSIERY, GLOVES, HANDKERCHIEFS. MUFFLERS, Everything in furnishings for ladies, children and men. Compare onr prices with what you have been paying and Ere if ycu can't save money by dealing with as. John M. Arthurs. 333 SOUTH MAIN STREET. 333 Big Overcoat Sale AT. The Racket Store. OVERCOATS OF ALL GRADES, STYLES AND COLORS AT ROCK BOTTOM PRICES FOR CASH. REMEMBER THAT NO FIRM DOING A CREDIT BUSINESS CAN QUOTE THE LOW CASH PRICES YOU WILL FIND AT THE ONE PRICE RACKET STORE, 48 S. Main St., Butler, Pa. SAW MILLS p»t«at Variablt Friction ami Brit Kwl. Steam Engines, Hay Presses, Shing'e Mills. &c Portable Grist Mills, Bend lor llliin. Tlirenlitnir Marlilnra. tr. Catalogue. A. U. FAltqriUK CO.. York, Pa. a «-r#r Job* K 60 f*.*.X. 1 f I us. U"a4«r, y •> . i*r'nt«k? •» t> ill, l'i«t •«!•- U*rh j 41 Qui. kiy how t«. r*r» fr tn *.*. is •10 .. day «l ftm al«r». nnJ n« you r- T«. a. a« ». Uti fttri#. If* «n> | Ul4 • f AWrrV*. ym Pomn. r«rr at b- tw, *!*• Ihf ail your tfnfAr »|»apr ni<-m<*nls onlj l*» It# frork. Ail U rrn. (~<«: ~»} M Jf» Ur nr*ry Worlurr V..- » ,1 j on, r"rn!.h:t-jr «v*fr»hln»r I.AtILY. Mt»E£l>ILY irmnurrt. I'AH«I- t !,AK* H KK. Add."*' at o»r», K»| ..TVI * 4 !.TLL\|», JUIMU YOU CAN j ;*•!) K I'Jiiiifl. Who Wul >"iiracl toz ta l..»uci r 'rr "THE BUTLER CITIZEN. PROFESSIONAL CARDS. I V. McALPINE, Dentist, Is now permanently located at 120 Sooth Main Street- Butler. Ta. In rooms formerly ccouplcd by Dr. tValdroo. L. M. REINSEL, M. D , I'HVSICIAN AM> Scsoaox. Office and re- idence at 224 Graham Street. Butler, Pa. L. BLACK, rantciAN AND scaoßOK, >'ew Troutman Building. Butler, l'a. Dr. A. A. Kelty, Office at Rose Point, Liwrcnce county. Pa. E. N. LEaKK, M. I). J. £• MANN, M. D. 1 Specialties; Specialties: Uyna-colOjO' and Sur- Eye, Ear. Nofce and gery. Throat. DRS. LEAKE& MANN, Butler, Pa. G. Ma ZIMMERMAN. rUVnICIAK AND RCSfiEOK, Office at No. 15. S. Main street, over Frank A CVs OIUK Store. Butler, Pa, SAMUEL M. BIPPUS. Physician and Surgeon. 60. 22 Estt Jt flu ton St., llLtler, Pa. W. R. TITZEL. PHYSICIAN A - ;D SURGEON. ' S. W. Corner Main and North Sts., Butler, l'a. ■ ] J. J. DONALDSON, Dentist. Butler, Penn'a. Artillcli.l Tffth Inserted cn the latest*im proved plan. Gold Filling: a specialty. Office— over Scnaul's Clothing Store. DR. S. A. JOHNSTON. DENTIST, - - BUTLER, PA. All work pertaining to the profession" execut ed in 1 lie neatest manner. Specialties :—Gold l-'ilimgs, and Painless Kx traction ot Teeth, Vitalized Air administered. < Ofllre on J»ffer»on Street, onr ilonr Bast of I,onr; limine, t'p Stairs. Office open daily, except Wednesday* and Thursdays. Communications by mail receive | prompt attention, H, D.—The only Denttet In Butler u.-dug;the best iu»kes or teeth. J. W. MILLER, Architect, C. E. and Surveyor. Contractor, Carpenter and Builder. Maps, plane, specification* and esti mate*; ali kinds of architectural and en gineering work. No charge for drawing if I contract (lie work. Consult your best in terests; plan before you build. Informa tion cheerfully given. A share of public patronage is solicited. P. O. Box 1007. Oflieo S. W. of Court House, Uatler, l'a. C. F. L. McQUISTION, ENGINEER AND SURVEYOR, OFFIC* KKA* DIAMONP, BUTLKK, PA. 1 . 5 A. M. CHHISTLEY, ATOOBNEY \T I/A . Office second floor. Anderson B1 k, Malu St., near Court, Bouse, lHitlci . Pa. J. W. HUTCHISON, ATTORNEY AT IJVV. 1 Offiie fiti fii rend r.oor of the Iliteelton block, Diamond, ftutler. l'a., Koom No. I. A. T. scorr. J. r. *iw. • SCOTT &i WILSON, ATTORKEYS-AT-LAW. collection* a specialty. Office at No. *, South Diamond, Butler. Pa. JAMES N. MOORE, ATTOKHSY-AT-LAW AND N'OTAKY PUBLIC. Office in Boom No. 1. second floor of Huselfon Bloj'k, entrance 011 Diamond. A. E. RUSSELL, ATI'OHNEY AT LAW. l)fflce on second floor of New Anderson Biock Main St..—near Diamond. IRA McJUNKIN. Attorney at I.aw, onice at No. 17, East Jeffer son St., Duller, l'a.; W. C. FINDLEY, Attorney at Law and Ik al Kstatc Agent-. Of flee rear of L. '/■■ Mitchell's office on north side of Diamond, Butler, IV H. H. GOUCHER. Attorney-at-law. Office on second floor of Anderson building, near Court Bouse, Butler, Pa. J. K BRITTAIN. Att'y at I.aw—OHlee at 8. E. Cor. Main St, and Diamond, liutlcr, l'a. NEWTON BLACK. , Att'y at Law—Office on South side of Diamond Bauer. Pa. < L. 8, McJUNKIN, Insurance and Real Estate Ag't 17 F.AST JEFFERSON.ST. BUTLER, - I'A. 1 BUTLER COUNTY ttituai Fire insurance Co. Office Cor. Main & Cunnin£i'am Sts. '3. C. ROESSINO, i'UKHIDBNT. H. C. IIKINEMAN, SKCRKXABY. DII KCTDRS: jO. C. Uoi'sMne, i rson Oliver, ' | J. 1, Purvis, Jl;<-S >te)ih<'iisui', ► 1 \. Tri-utn ■•:, i:i'. llelhenian. j Alf'\\i k, . V.i I,* Dr. W. Irvln !'r Ui I • '1 ac ;, J. W. Burl: I>ait, D. T. Norrif. LOYAL M'iUMKiN, Gen. Ag't BT7 r V r.F:F, IP A. eALESME\T WANTKD, J LOCAL OR TPAVEMNG. * To sell our Nut-mr >itcM*k. expeimes and r 1 hic*£Uiy emplo.'f uu ut r CHAM I I;OTIIH.'S COMPANY, Hot-heater, N. Y ..■>» ~ ' •viiya prr.d. - fcJvL* ,'J - - "i THOSfiAS, I Ut HmbWim buxct. ChibACQr The Keynote of Oil l ' Success: WE UNDERBUY WE UNDERSELL. Solid values backed by merit will always win, and the masses will flock to where thev ueuhe best value for their money. HESITATE ACT BUI <atent leather tip, all sizes anti'al! widths at SI.OO, $2, $2.25, and $2.50. 300 pair of gent's shccs, Lace c>r Congress, plain toe or tip on toe, at $1.25, $1 50, $2, $2.50 and $3 Thousands of pairs for a thousand different purposes, in a thousand different styles and shapes—fine, medium and heavy grades—for city and out of town people. 1 have ulso 20 cases metis" kip boots at cost. 15 cases boy's heavy kip boots, sizes 1-5, at $1 to $1.50. 2 cases (CO paira ench) woman's everyday iuccd shoes at 75c. The balance of our Holiday Slippers at COST. .A. Large Stock of Rubber Groods. Leather and Findings. Boots and Shoes Hade to Order. Repairing ncotlv r.nd promptly done either in leather or rubber goods "When in need of auy thing in my line give me a call." Yours truly. JOHN BICKEL, New Number? 33G H. IVJain Street. BUTLER, - -- -- -- -- PENN'A IfST"I0IISE IN BUTLER, IN ADVER TISING HOLIDAY GOODS SAY "THE LARGEST STOCK AND THE LOWEST PRICES." COME IN AND EX AMINE THE STOCK AND PRICES AT RITTER & RALSTON'S. every WATERPROOF COLLAR OR CUFF THAT CAN BE RELIED ON BE UP | ptforfc . -fcO 131311* ! TO I —" - - 1 THE MARK ! 3>Jot tO ZDlgOOlOlTg - r .-J BEARS THIS MARK. # TRADE ELLULO ID MARK. NEEDS NO LAUNDERING. CAN BE WIPED CLEAN IN A MOMENT. THE ONLY LINEN-LINED WATERPROOF COLLAR IN THE MARKET. -WELL bre|El WSOONWED? liSrouoSl QUICKLY MARRIED ■I | SAPOLIO is ono of tho best known city luxuries and each tirno a raka is used an hour is saved. On floors, tables end painted work it acts liko 1 a charm. For scouring* pot 3, pans bud r/iutals it has no equal. If your I store-kooper does not keep it you should insist upon hi 3 doing so, as it always gives satisfaction and its immense sale all over tho United States makes it an almost necessary article to any well supplied store. Every thing shines after its U3O, and oven the childron delight in it ;n \ their attempts to help around tho house. lUH'LKU, nil I) A V. .1 A X I \A RY '2, 18SM. Captain Sam Brady rid "Slay-go. In by-gone days of long ago, When soldiers were but few. And rambling bauds of red men Strolled ail the country throngh. There lived a maid in Vannahstown, The called her Lassie Jean. The Indians took her prisoner At the age of seventeen. A younger lass, poor hapless child, They stole her on the sly, And both were mounted on a horse, Hut Brady heard their cry. He traced their trail o'er hill and dale, j Along the lonesome way, At length he heard down a vale The stolen horse's neigh. Then striking straight across the hill, lie. like an arrow sped. And wending down the sloping side, lie struck the path ahead. Upon a knoll he sat hiui down To watch the path with care, Resolved if Indians come in sight To slay them then and there. When soon an Ind'aß on a horse, Upon tho path was seen, The little girl fast in bis arms, And on behind was Jean. Secreted then clrso by a tree, As they came riding by. He leveled "Slay-g'>" on his head. ->nd shot him through tne eye. The savage tumbled off the horse, As dead as O sar's dog; Ite scalped him with his glittering knife, And threw him o'er a log. When I was yet a beardless youth, A flaxen-headed boy, I often heard my father tell How Jennie jumped for joy. She seized the Captain by the hand, "God blew thee crermore;" He slew the savage with a shot, lie steeped his beard in gore. The younger la. s buret out and cried. For she was but a child, A captive stranger far from home, Amid the desert wild. Her words were those of hapless fate, That 'ouch the huuiau heart. And rou. e the soul to sympathy And wake the better part. Such as none but tender hearts, E'er give a Christian thought, Tbo-e nobly brave Samaritans That's neither sold nor bought. Then let us tjuote John Kodger's lines, And for bis memory's sake; A sample bright he left the world, E'er burning ut tho stake. "Give of your portion to the poor As riches doth arise. And from the needy, naked soul Turn not away your eyes." Or let me quote for practice sake A lino or two from Jennie, A prisoner in the wilderness, Along with little Minnie. "Oh, Captain, will you care for us Within the desert wilds. Captive strangers far from home, Transported many miles. "The Indians are hunting ns, And beasts of prey are prowling, The night hawks crying hoo boo hoo, Aud hungry wolves a-chowliug. The weather's chill, (he hills are bleak, The western presses, And we aie thin and sparely clad, Just in our coi on dres. es, Ob, Captain, will you care for us, Fo saken aod lorloru, And take ns homo to Hannahslown AY here we were bred and born." "Ob, yes, dear ehild, I'll take thee home Upon the stolen horse, I'll guard thy life with "Slay-go" Tho dreary plains across." There's ample Halm in (iilead For those who wcaiy mourn; There's ransom for the prisoners, Forsaken and forlorn. Then nobly brave as Mo.ses was To Israel of old, ile led them tl rong'u to Hannahstown, And cow the story's told. R. T. BRADV. NOT (il ILTY. In the spring of 18—I was called to Jackson, Ala., to attend court, having been engaged to defend a young man who had been accused of robbing tho mail. The stolen bag had been recovered, as wS?ll as the letters from which the money had been rifled. Those letters were given me for examination, and I returned them to the prosecuting attorney. Having got through my preliminaries about noon, and as the case \\onld not come off before the next day, I went into court iu the afternoon to see w hat was going on. Tho lirst case that came up was one of tlieft, and the prisoner was a young girl not more than seventeen years of age, named Ehzabeth Med worth. She was very pretty, and bore that mild innocent look which is seldom found in a culprit. She had been weeping profusely, but as she found so many eyes upon lier, sho became too frightened to weep more. The complaint against her set forth that she had stolen a hundred dollars from a Mis. Nasby, and as tho case went on 1 found that this Mrs. Nasby, a wealthy widow, living in the town, was the girl s mistress. Tho poor girl declared her in nocence in the wildest terms, but circum stances were hard against her. A hundred dollars in bank notes had been stolen from her mistress's room, and sho was the only one that had access tlie-e. At this junc ture, when the mistress was upon tho wit nesf-sta id, a young man came and caught ine by the orm. "They tell me you are a very line law yer," he wb'spered. "I am a lawj <-r," I said. "Then save her! You certainly can do it for she is innocent." "Has she no counsel '' I asked. "None that is good for anything—no b'>dy that will do anything for her. Oh, sivo her, and 1 w ill give you all that I've got. I can't give you much hut I can raise something." I reflected a moment. I cat my eyes toward the prisoner, and he was at that moment looking tc wards me. She caught my eye and tho volume of entreaty I read in her glance resolved me in a moment. I arose and went to the girl and asked her if she wi -hed me to defend her. Sho said yes. 1 then informed the court that I was ready to enter the case, and was admitted at once. The load murmur of satisfaction that ran throngh the crowd told me where tie sympathies of the people were. 1 ask o I for a moment's cessation that I might speak to iny client. I went and sat down by her ide ami asked her to state calmly the v hole cae. She told mo sho had liv od with Mrs. Nasby nearly two years, and never bad any trouble before. About two weeks ago her mistress had missed a hundred dollars. "She missed it from her drawer," the girl said to me, "and asked me about it. That evening 1 know Nancy Luther told Mrs. Nasby that she saw mo take the money—that she watched ine from th»- keyhole. Then they went to my trunk and fonuil twt-nty-five dollars of the miss itift utoui-y." I asked her if she suspected any one. "1 don't know," she said, "who could have done it but Nancy. She never liked me because t,he thought I was better treated than she. She is cook I was chamber maid." She pointed Xancy I.nther out to me. She a stout, bold faced girl, somewhere about twenty-five \cars oi l, with a low forehead, small eye*, pug nose and thick lips. I caught her eye at once, as it rested on the fair, young ! prisoner, and the moment I detected the look of hatred which I read there I was I convinced that she was a rogue. "Nancy Lather, did yon say that girl's i name was?" I asked, for a new light had | broken in upon me. "Yes, sir." I left tho court room and went to the prosecuting attorney and asked him for the letteis I had handed bim—the ones which had been stolen from the mail-bag. lie I gave them to mo. and having selected nue j I returned the rest and told him I would ' see be had the oae I kept before night. I i then leinrned to the conrt room and the case went on. Mrs. JTasby resumed her testimony. I Sue said she entrusted ihc room to the j prisoner's care, and that no one else had access theie save herself. Then she de ! scribed about the missing money, aud clos | ed br telling how she found twenty-five dollars IU the prisoner's trunk. She could swear it was the identical money she had lost, in two ten. and one five dollar bank notes. • "Mrs. Xasby," I said, "wneu you first mis-en the money had you any reason to believe that the prisoner had taken the money?" "No, sir," she answered. "Had yo'i ever detected her in auy dis honesty!'' "No, sir." "Should you have thought of searching her trunk had not Nancy Luther advised and informed you?" "No, sir." Mrs. Nasby left the stand, and Nancy Luther took her place, She came np with a bold front and cast a defiant look npon me, as if to say, "Trap me if you can." She then gave her evidence as follows: She said that on the night the monoy was taken she saw the prisoner go upstairs, and from the sly manner iu which she went up. she suspected that all was not right, so she followed her up. "Elizabeth went to Mrs. Na.-by's room and shut the door after her. I stooped down and looked through the keyhole, and saw her take tho money and put it in her pocVet. Then she stoop ed down and picked up the lamp, and, as I saw she was coming out, I hurried away." Then she went on, told how she informed her mistress of this and how she proposed to soareb the girl's trunk. I called Mrs. Nasby back. "Yon said no one save yourself had ac cess to your room. Now couldn't Nancy Luther have entered the room if she wished?" "Certainly, sir; I meant no one else had any right there." I saw that Mrs. Nasby, though naturally a hard woman, was somewhat moved by poor Elizabeth's misery. "Could your cook have known, by any means in your know'edge, where yonr money was?" "Yes, sir; for she has often come to my room v hen I was there, and I havo often given her money to buy provisions of markctmen who happened along with their wagons." "One more question: Have you known of the prisoner having used money since this was stolen?" "No, sir.'' I now cailed Nancy Luther back and she began to tremble a little, though her look was bold anil defiant as ever. Miss Luther," said I, "why did you not inform yonr mistress at once of what yon had seen, without waiting for her to ask about her money!" •'Because 1 could not make np my mind to expose the poor girl," she answered promptly. "You say you looked through the key hole and saw her take the money?" "Yea, sir." "Where did she place the lamp *hen she did so?" "fin tho bureau." "In your testimony you said she stooped down when she picked it up. What did you mean by that?" The girl hositated, and finally said that she did not mean any thing. only that .-he picked up tho lamp. "Very well," said 1; "How long have you been with Mrs. Nasby?" "Not quite a year." "How much does she pay you a wcokT" "A dollar and three quarlers." "Have you taken up any of your pay since you have been there?" "Yes, sir." "How much?" "I don't know, sir." •'Why don't you know?" "How should I? I havo taken it at dif ferent times just as 1 wanted it, and kept no account." "Then you have not laid up any money since you havo been there?" "No, sir; only what Mrs. Nasby may owe me." "Will you tell mo if you belong to this State?" "I do, sir." "In what town?" She hesitated and the bold look forsook her. I uext turned to Mrs. Nasby. "Do you ever take a receipt from your girls when you pay them?" "Always." "Can you send and get ono for met" "She told you the truth, sir, about the payment." "Oh, T don't doubt it," I replied, "But particular proof is tho thing for tho court room. So if you can I wish yon would procure the receipts." She said she would willingly if tho court said so. Tho court did say so and she went, llejr dwelling was not far off, and she soon returned and handed mo four receipts, which I ti>ok and examiued. They were signed by a strong staggering hand by tho witness. "Now, Nancy I.nther," I said, turning to tho witness and speaking in a quick startling tone, at the same time looking her squarely in the eye, "pleaso toll tbe Court and jury where you got tho seventy five dollars you sent in your letter to your sister in Somert." At this she started as though a volcano had burst at hor leet. She turned pale a- death and every limb shook violently. I waited until tho peoplo could have the opportunity to nee hor emotion and then 1 repeated the question. "I—never—sent —any," she gasped. "You did!" I thundeied. for I was ox cited now. "j—i didn't," she faintly murmured,, grasping the railing at her side for support. "May il please your Honor and tho gen tlemen of the jury," I said, "I cams here to defend a man who was arrested for rob bing the mail and in the course of my pre limitary examination 1 lia.l access to lot tery which, hail been torn open and robbed |of money. When I entered upon the ease j and heard the name of tho witness pro- I nounced, I went out and got this letter which I now hold, for 1 remembered hav ing seen one bearing the signature of Nancy Lntbei. The letter was taken from the mail-bags, and it contained seventy five dollars; by looking at the poetmark you will observe that it was mailed tho j day after the hundred dollar* .was taken j from Airs. Nashy's drawer, and was direct ed to Dorcas I.nther, Somert. Montgomery county. And now you will observe that one hand wrote the letter and signed the receipt, and the jury will also observe. And now I will only add, it is plain to see how the seventy-five dollars were sent off for safe keeping, whilo the remaining twenty-five were placed iu the prisoner's trunk for the purpose of covering the real criminal. I now leave my client's case in your hands." The case was given to the jury imme diately alter their examination of the let ter. They Lad heard from the witness's own uiouth that she had no money of her own, and without leaving their seats they returned a verdict of not guilty. I will not describe the scene that follow ed; but if Nancy Luther had not been im mediately arrested for theft she would have been obliged to seek protection of the officers, or the excited people would 1 ave maimed her, if they had r.ot done more. The next morning I received a note in which I was told that the within was bat a small token of gratitnde dne me for my effort iu behalf of the poor defenseless maiden. It was signed "Several Citiiens," and contained one hundre 1 dollars. Short ly aflerward the youth who had first beg ged me to take the case called upon me with all tbe money he could raise; bnt I refused his hard earnings, showing him that 1 had already been paid. Before I 101 l town I was a guest at his wedding— my fair client being the happy bride. Sunshine. a Rev, Dr. Taluiage is one of those light hearted, broad-minded men who scatter sunshine wherever they go. Hear him in the current number of the Ladies' Home Jour • il: •'! enjoin upon all those of my Jo:i ail leaders, whom these holiday times find in comfortable circumstances, two things: First, helpfulness to the helpless, and the ne\t, cheerful talk. This experi ment has been made by medical scientists. A dozen men conspire to tell a well man he looks sick. They are to meet him on a journey, and by the time the fourth man is giving him melancholy salutation, he feels he is doomed, and the twelfth man comes up with his melancholy salutation just in time to help carry him home on a stretcher. Then twelve men conspire that they will meet a man in uncertain health and tell htm how well ho looks. By the time the fourth man has met him with a cheerful salutation, his nervous system is all toned up, and by the time tho twelfth man has met him with his cheerful salutation, he says to his wife: "Throw out that apothe cary shop from onr shelves; I don't want any more medicine." "Now, the nation is only a man on a large scale. II you want to prostrate busi ness and keep it prostrated,talk in dolorous tone and keep on talking. Let all the merchants sigh, and all the editors prog nosticate a hard winter, and all the min isters groan in tho pulpit. In the grett orchestra of complaint, those who play the loudest trombones are those who have the fullest salaries and the completest ware robe. They are only made because they have to fall back upon the>urplus resources of other years, or because they cannot make as large investments as they would like to make. Did you have your break fast? Yes. Did you have jour supper last night? Yes. Did you havo a pillow to sleep on? Yes. What aro you complain ing about? The genuine sufferers, those who are really in destitution, for the most part suffer in silence; but the loudest cries against hard times are by the men to whom tho times aro not hard. Artists tell us it is almost impossible is sing well on a full stomach, but it has been demonstrated over aud over again that is is possible for men to groan well on a full stomach! Kisses and Caiamels. "You most not do that, Charley Buster. Tho moon peered throngh the \ enetian blinds of the iiont parlor window, bnt his great broad face was three-quarters hidden with proper modesty and becoming mein. He did not.want to spoil the lun, bnt he wanted to keep one eye at least on giddy Charley Iluster. "Sock," and the offense (?) was repeated. "Charley Bester. don't you know that that is prohibited?" "No, Clarissa Jujube. I do not know that, and when yon assail my knowledge of national matters I must rise to defend myself. Kisses aro not prohibited. .Shoes may bo prohibited, and clothes may hang beyond our reach, but IJbave scanned the Tariff bill from beginning to end, and I have failed to find any tax on kisses. Sugar, too. mark you, 10 grade. Dutch standard, is free. We may be reduced to the fig-leaf style of apparel, but we can always kiss and eat caramels. And kisses and caramels, Clarissa, is love. Not Up on Sewers. Ile was a young man of -0 with a iaT away look in his eyes, and she was a girl of IS with » turn up nose and the light of curiosity in her eyes. They had scarcely seated themselves in a Woodward avenue car when she a.-ked: "Why is this street torn np, Tom?" "Building a sewer," ho replied. "What do they want of a sewer?" sho continued. "To run off the water." "But why do they want to run off the water?" Because excuse me." Ho hurried on to the rear platform and took a seat on tho railing aud as the con ductor looked at bim rather sharply ho ex plained: "Next thing she'd have asked me what is a sower, and how in sugar do 1 know! I never saw a sewer. 1 m not in the sewer business. I suppose it s something? or other underground, but I'm uot going to give my aelf away, you know." He Sizes up the Cranks. Capt. Densmore, who has command of tho White House detection squad, i» reckoned tho most expert judge of cranks in this country. His first lieutenant has an upper arm that is as big as an ordinary man's thigh, and his fellows aro all athletes. Tho squad has plenty to do. Dozens of persons ntllieted with one form or another of dementia are turned away by them from the Executive Mansion every day. Tho moment an individual appears whose aspect is not entirely satisfactory, ho is asked what his business is aud unless his reply is reassuring be is not admitted. A Jow da} s ago a man called to xee Mr. Harrison with a tin box under his arm. Tin boxes are suspicious articles, and he was pressed clo.-ely about his e.rrwul. Finally ihe said that he had a new kind of religion in the box to show the President, Ofcounothat settlead him.—Buffalo Commercial. —ltch on human and horses and a!.' ani mals cured in minutes by • . Woouord s Sanitary Lotion. This never fads, .fcolu by J C Kedick, druggist, Butler. »5 Babies in 3 Weeks. During the week before the Holiday* an acute observer in the Senate galleries at Washington might have seen numerous self-congratulatory smiles chase each other over the countenances of some of the statesmen who occupy places on the door; but not until Monday of last week was the reason lor these apparent Grave and reverend Senators—to some of whom the delights of early fatherhood were bnt memories—sent out and purchased silver mugs and silver spoons, and had name* engraved thereon. Others folded np samples of the newest and most crisp 93 or $lO bills, thile others wrote nice letters to accompany the presents, singularly enough, all of them addressed to the same person at the same address. The United States Senate has been made the scene of a confidence man's operations, and he would be working the greatest deli oem live body in the world yet had he not in an un lucky moment decided to make a victim of Senator Manderson. of Nebraska, who found in his mail the following letter: "B.<-JioaK,Dec. 20, 1890.—Hon. Cbas. P. Manderson —Dear Sir. Inclosed you will find the baptismal certificate of my little son, Charles llanderson Duvall,whom I named in honor of you. How 1 came to name him after you was that I wanted to name him after some prominent Repub lican. and chose you because you are from my native State. I have seen you on several occasions, and always have been an admirer of you. Little Charles ia get ting along first-rate, and I hope that he may live and be upright and honest as the man after whom he is named. He ia oar first-born, and as soon as we bare hie pic ture taken I will send you one. Also in closed you will five tickets for an enter ta'nment whieh ia gives for my benefit. I would not have troubled yon with them, only last week I had my leg broken while at work, and my friends are giTing this foe my benefit. All the income I bad was what was dei < Our friend, Snap Judgment, will aay. "The lower one, of course!" but if 9* J will measure,the, two he may open his eyes. _______ -Dr. Fenner's Golden Bdirfiawant ed to relieve toothache, haadach » Kia, or any other pain in 2 to 8 m.nutea. AUo bruUes, wounds. bites burns, (also in horses). diarrt®*; ayittoUrjmi4 kui. If satiafaction not glvaa money returned. ]trreding of buffaloes in captivity ia a new Industry in the Dakota agricultural world. Xbe submarine telegraph syatem of the world -consists of 120,070 nautical miles of cable.