VOL. XXV.
yamTSm; *
■ ' JP^^YAAISAGGL
" S MAIN ST. r£ J
HAS OPENED in bis new store-room on old stand, with the
largest line of goods—woolens, suitable for mens gar
ments—in Butler, where he will be pleased to meet all his
old customer*, and such new ones as the best of materials and
the best of workmanship, should bring him. We guarantee a
perfect 6t f at lowest prices.
WILLIAM ALAND.
What You Eat!
Tj the most important consideration of your life, and much of
good health is due to the careful and conscientious grocer.
*>" yf e buy the best in the market, select all our goods
nitb the greatest care, and claim to have as good a stock ol
Groceries as can be found anywhere.
We want your trade and invite you to try our Flours,
Sugars, Coflees, Canned Fruits, Dried Fruits, Spices, Hams,
Canned Meats, Crackers, Confectioneries, Tropical Fruits,
Nuts, or anything in our store room.
Country Produce a specialty, and all new fruits and veg
etables in season.
In our China Hall, in the second story of our building,
we have the larges- stock of Chinaware, Glassware, Crockery,
Lamps and Fancy Goods in the town.
Give us a trial, highest market price allowed for produce.
C. KOCH &SONS,
mai*T ST., - - BUTLER, PA.
BARGANS in WATCHES,
"
Clocks,
Jewelry
And Silverware.
Finest stock of Sterling Silverware in the county,
and at prices not to be equalled for cash.
Watches and Clocks repaired and warranted, at
J. R. GKEtIEB'S
i
NO. 10 South Moin St, <Si R n of ELECTRIC BELL),
BUTLER, PA.
M 1111111111 -^>llllllllll
■ SILK*.
H WPH VRLVKTH.
■ W^JI! IJ TDOWOB - IFKKHH <IOODH.
H IMIHHIWA. BLACK lIKKHMUOOfM,
V . ... IXLULKKII UKESH <;IM)IW,
W SBRH - LKEHS MXHM FOK TIIK MILLION
& " KKWWEK - WASH LIHKSS FAIHUCS,
BTRAXTH WEAK. INDKItWKAIC,
■ JA« KETH. rAKASOLH. IIOSIKKY.
■ *£Ar*.»uA*i» Kiouixivn.
I A. Troutman & Son.
w Leading Dry Goods and Carpet Boase.
I btjtXjECR ----- ZF.-ejshsta..
K. rrKTAIKR. CAKPKTtt.
WI>DOW (WADS*. MATTINGS.
V « I'KTAIN ROT.K* AltT SOL'AHKS.
M AKI> FIXTL-KBI. JAL'ANKSK nirtiH.
■ TAELECXIVEKS. KI.OOK LINKNS,
■ HOTA BTOH. 1.1N01.K1 Ms,
M UftKXM AHO NAraiXH. OILCLOTHS,
■ OUIAICM.
I SPECIAL ATTENTION TO ORDFRB BY MAIL
I 1850 KstabliNhed 185()
I E„ CRIEB,
I THE JEWELER,
H No. 19, North Main St, BUTLER, PA.,
■ DE A LER IN"
■ Diamonds,
■ Watches,
■ Clocks,
■ Jewelry,
■ Silverware,
■ Spectacles, &c. f &c.
Society Emblems of all Descriptions.
Repairing in all branches skillfully done and warranted.
■ 1860 ESTABLISHED 18SO
■ MEADVILLE pONSERVATURY of M!Mi
A *ra4r Insulation with facilities In Music and Art second LO no school IN the ountry
TAPTORA <l*ly tractora <4 experttriice and einluent rruutallon. Klghl separate cournes In Musi'-.
IMWM all fcraarke* Vocal UD I unlruniculHl IN affiliated with ALLEGHENY College which acccpls
Mate m m elMim Mud jr.
A UMTMRH AltduWH. KUidto. equipped will) lluest c lata, UNDER charge or an -rtlst of run
aMtttjr. INptnUM PALLML thorn eompletrltig any ONE of LLU: eourHen. Kxcellcn siardlnK fa,
111 IT II at venr MODERATE rale*. titudeuts admitted lo any grade. Kail term IH-UUIH Kepi 4th-
MiirOMiii|M i« nor. r. A. BKVUOLM, VIBKCTOB, MKADVILLK, PA.
THE BUTLER CITIZEN.
1 PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
H. H. GOUCHER.
Aitorney-at-law. Office on second floor of
liraily building'. Diamond, liutler, l'a.
J. t. BKITTAIN.
Att'y at Law—Office at S. E. Cor. Main St, and
Diamond, Butler, l'a.
NEWTON BLACK.
All y at I^iW—Office on South side or Diamond,
Butler, l'a.
IRA McJUNKIN.
Attorney at Law, Office at No. 17, Kast Jeffer
son St., Butler, Pa.
C.F. L. KcftUISTION,
E.\"GIXEEU AND SURVEYOR,
OFFICE ON DIAMOND, BUTLER, PA.
DR. N. M. HOOVER.
Office over Boyd's Drug Store,
DIAMOND BLOCK. - - - BUTLER, PA.
G. M. ZIMMERMAN.
I'll V.-KIAS AND SIKOEIN,
Office at No. 45, S. Main street, over Frank J
Ca's Diug Store. Butler, l'a.
W. R. TITZEL.
PHYSICIAN AND SUKGEON.
E. Corru r Main and Wayne Sts.
BUTLER HPIE JM USF A.
Dr. S. A. JOHNSTON,
DENTIST, - - BUTLER, PA.
All work pertaining to the profession execut
ed in the iieyie.il manner.
Specialties <iiold tilling*, and Painless Kx
trai tion of Teeth, Vitalized Air administered.
Mlilrc on Jefferson strut, nin- door Kant of'Lowrj
House, I p Stain.
Oflk-e o|>eii daily, except Wednesdays and
Thursdays. I'oiiiiiiunlcalions by mail receive
prompt attention,
N. H.- The only Dentist in Butler the
iiest lillik.es of teetii.
JOHN E. BYERS,
PHYSICIAN AN " SURGEON
Olllce So. G5 South Main Street,
BUTLER, - PA.
SAMUEL M. BIPPUS.
Physian and Surgeon.
No. 10 West Cunningham Bt.,
BUTLER, FIEHNTISr A.
IDZEZTSTTZSTIR, Y .
0 1/ WALDUON. Oraduate of the I'hila
• K. delphia Deuta! ColieKe, Is prepared
to do anythini; l:i the line of his profession in a
satisfactory manner.
Office on .Maiii street, Butler, opposite the
Vogeley House.
L S. McJUNKLV,
Insumnce ami.Real Estate A g't.
17 EAST JEFFERSON ST.
BUTLER, - PA.
A. J. FRANK & CO,
DKAI.KKH IN
DRUGS,
MEDICINES,
A Nl> CITEMICALS
FANCY AND TOILET ARTICES,
BPf)NOEB, BRUSHES, PERFUMERY, Ac
nr-physlcltum' PreserlptloiiH carerully coin
pounded.
45 S. Main Street, Butler, Pa
"It in of no uiie to argue the question,
I ain neither stubborn nor opinionated, I
haye dimply had a lesson that will last a life
time."
"I»ok here, Jack! you are like some old
bachelor who has I»urn jilted by one wo
man, and goes about declaring all woiueu are
false."
"Not at all ! rny brother Charles died of
Itriglit's disease, brought on by using one of
these so-called 'blood purifiers'—the kind
you kce attractively advertised iu every nook
and corner. It contained iodide of potassurn,
a drug useful in extreme cases when cau
tiously (jiven under a doctor's supervision,
but deotli-ilraling to all who t:il:e it in ijmin
tiiv. If ytntr brother had died under sueli
circumstances, you would hate patent medi
cines as I do."
"I <lo dislike Ihe name of that miscalled
'blood purifier,' for I have heard first class
physicians say it is the cause of half the cas
es of Itriglit's disease iu the country, and it is
■trange the proprietors have not been prose
cuted for selling it. Hut / was recommend
ing Vinegar flitter* and that does not con
tain any mineral, naicotic or other hurtful
drug."
"Oh, nobody supposes that old woman's
remedy will hurt anybody; the question is
will it cure an/thing? I'd a, soon think of
taking some of my (grandmother's herb tea."
"You would be belter olf, Jack, if jou bad
some of that lea to tone up your system now,
instead of taking a glans of brandy to make
you sleep one night, and perhaps a bottle ol
beer the next."
"Is this a temperance lecture, Phil ?"
"No, it is a Vinegar ItitierH lecture. I've
taken the medicine more or less lor liiteen
years, and look the world over, you will not
find a liealthcr man Ihan I am.
"What is all Ibis nonsense about old style
and new style Vinegar Bitters; are they dif
ferent?"
"Yes, Ihe old style looks like eolfee with
milk in it, the new style like coffee without
milk, 'fhe man who uiudo the old style for
twenty years- a practical chemist- made a
milder, pleasanter, preparation, adding to it
here, ami taking from it there, until he pro
duced, my wife snys, the, finest medicine ever
made. It cured her of constipation, and it
cures the children of hiveH and nil liic little
ailments they ever have. If my wife thinks
they have worms, she doses them with old
style. We always have both kinds in the
house, and together they keep the docti r
away."
"And you insist that the proof of the pud
ding—"
"la the eating—precisely. Jsck, get a
bottle of the old sty le Vinegar Hitters men
I think, prefer old style usually Iry it, and
you will then be like au old bachelor who,
after railing against wouii u for years, lulls
in love Willi a good woman at l*st. You will
say ihera are good and hud patent medicine*,
but Vinegar Hitters is the best of the lot."
"All right, I'liil, to please you, I'll try it
and report results.''
in
Tlie only Tempi-ran re Hitters knnwn. " stimu
lates Ihe Nerves, reirulalea llie Howl-In mml pro
iluai-s a perfert hloml rlrralallon, vlib-h Is sure
to restore perlerl health.
<IKO. W. lIAVIH. of li.'j Hiiroime si. ,s..\v Or
leans. la,, writes mirier date May lttll.li. l-tss, as
follow*:
"I have ls-eii going to the llot Springs, Ark.,
for llfleeii years lor nil li< hint; humor In my
lilood. I have Just u-.cii three Imltles of Vine
Kitr Itinera, and It has done me mote (food Iliu.it
the hprltiKS. It Is Ihe Is-sl medicine made."
JOHKI'II .1. K<iAN. of No. Vr. Went st,. New
Vork.snys: "Have not been without Vinegar
ISlttera lor l lie past I welve years, aud consider
II a whole medicine chest In our family."
A beautiful Book free.
, AiMrisN, II 11. MrIIOSAMMIKIIU CO,,
•'»< A UanhiiiKloii St., Ni-n York.
Advcrtino in the CITIZEN.
THY IT YOI'ItSKLF
JOE'S ORPHAN.
It was a liiirht for dreams —a rough, v. ilil
storm without —and an open tire, a table
covered with books, a cushioned chair, and
slippers within. At least Joe thought so.
•What shall I do?" he soliloquized.
•"•Here I want to have a quiet time dream
ing l>v uiv own tire. Cozy, isn't it?"
As he said this and looked at the comfort
able furnishings of his room, and then at the
cheery fire, his ear caught the sound of the
wind roaring down the chimney.
"How the stonn howls!" he now declared,
stepping to the rich, red curtains that fell
in warm, thick folds to the floor. He tried
to look out.
"Bah. it is wintry! How the snow is
gathering on the window-ledge! It looks
like a bed of lily-blossoms." thought Joe.
Then he tried to locate the different gas
lamps in the neighborhood. Only' a feeble
recognition did these sentinels \Viuk back
through the ,-torin at Joe.
"I don't want to go out. I am sure,"
thought Joe. "Must I? Let me read that
note again."
He walked back to the lamp-light, anil
taking up a note, read:
"DEAR JOK —Can't you come down to tin
house this evening? That individual will
be here, the orphan we told you of, and we
sort of want you to know her. Are you
aware, young mau, that this is the third
time I have planned a little company, in
cluding you and this other friend (though
she doesn't know it)? Charlie and 1 call
our friend 'Joe's Orphan;' but if you don't
come to-night you shall lose all claim upon
her, ami we will be offended. We can't re
serve orphans so long a time and have it
amount to nothing. Now come, Cousin Joe.
do, or —or —you will miss it.
A ffectiouately yours,
COCSIN FANNY.
P. S.—You understand inc."
"Yes, I understand you," soliloquized
Joe. "You would like to get me into a
scrape. 'Joe's Orphan!' I am not going.
I don't want to see her."
Here the old bachelor—he was not very
old, only thirty—settled back contentedly
ill his chair to enjoy the sound of tfie wind
blowing all sizes of trumpets down the
chimney.
"Why is it," Cousin Fanny said to her
husband, Charlie Waters, that very evening
at the supper tabic, "why is it Joe does not
care more for us females? He is a cynic, a
savage, a stone, and if he does not accept
my invitation I will make him pay for it."
And why did not Joe Danforth show more
susceptibility? It is true he was fastidious
iu his tastes, but there was another reason.
About six years ago he was away on a va
cation iu a manufacturing district, and
spent several weeks near a river that made
most picturesque valleys as well as turned
very important mill wheels. He was leis
urely walking along a bushy country road
when he saw a young woman step out of a
little house that he had not discovered be
fore, so leafy was the nest in which it was
hiding. On the arm of this young woman
leaned an old mau. She was of medium
height, her complexion fair and her features
regular. Her beauty was in her eyes.
"Such eyes," Joe said lo himself at once.
Certainly no young lady's eyes had ever
looked so far down into his soul. There
was a clearness lo them, a bright, crystal
purity, a penetrativeness, that made Joe say
a second time, "Such eyes!" As to the
color, whether blue, hazel, brown, black,
gray or even yellow, Joe could give no ac
count. Why is it that certain looks from
strangers are so magnetic we remember
them to our dyiug day—and certainly will
beyond—whereas other glances make as lit
He impression as the raindrop gliding over
marble tombstone? Joe was iu no condition
to reason out the problem. Those eyes
went through him like electricity shocks
one from the battery.
"Mercy!" screamed the young lady, lift
ing her head and looking in the direction of
swift carriage wheels that almost noiseless
ly had turned au abrupt corner fifteen feet
away. Another moment and horse and car
riage would have come rustling upon the old
man. Joe saw it. One of the charges
brought against him by superficial acquaint
ances was that tie was "a fellow of iiu
pulses." A "freak" or "whim" might seize
him, and off he would go. His freaks,
though, were generally in the right direc
tion, and it was in reality only his decision
and self-forget fulness that made him pe
culiar. The next moment Joe was spring
ing for the old mau. Seizing him quickly,
he drew him away from his dangerous po
sition.
"Oh. thank you, sir!" said the young lady,
and then came Shock Number Two from the
battery of those eyes. This time Joe's soul
was stirred to its very depths. She turned
away wilb her father, when a scream was
heard:
"Joe! Joe!"
This came from a second carriage that
was passing.
Joe looked lip. The carriage had halted.
"If there isn't Cousin Fanny!" he said.
She was beckoning to liilil. Inwardly re
solving that he would return and inquire
about the old mull —and somebody else- he
accepted Fanny's invitation to "ride a bit."
She pieced out this ride with another "bit,"
ami when Joe did return to inquire for the
old man at the house nestling ill the woods,
lie was told that the young lady and her
companion were strangers, only topping
there lor a brief rest, and where they'd gone
no one could say.
"Provoking!" exclaimed Joe.
lie did not give up the search, though.
Itcturiiiug to ihe city, lie i-u i< I to himself one
day:
"There was that old shoemaker iu the
village whom I had occasion lo ,-ee several
times, and it seems to me Unit one day I
saw that young lady's father in his shop.
Now, the shoemaker may know uhoul him,
am] I will inquire."
lie sent II letter of inquiry about the aged
lather whose acquaintance Joe was MI UIIX
ion- to continue. The shoemaker received
the letter by the evening mail, and took it
lo bis shop to read. Hi - light wa poor ami
so were Ids eyes. He reached the slate
llicnt of Joe's w i li. ami lie begun to read
aloud, giving Ihe letter his own proiiuncilia
I ion:
" 'Want— to git—holt- of an owld mau—
who—' "
The shoemaker halted.
"What's that?" lie asked, looking at the
word liml, "Och! why don't people write
as they mean? an' i ured it's hired, if its any
ting Ah, yis, an' we'll begin again:"
" \ n owld man who hired about a little
house—that had a—garden—l sec jit, what
lie manes."
Then Joe mentioned Ihe location of Ilii
house with a garden, aud the shoemaker
now shook his head triumphantly.
"Ah, yis, lie manes Michael Vazcy, who
diil work a spell in thai little spot among
Ihe Irase; ami this nice young captain, who
must have a (nine garden, wants to bin-
Michael. Vis, now I see il, and I wonder I
was so stupid a niver to see il before. Och.
I have il. now, sure, intirely. I will siml
Micheal along to him, as there's nothing
like goin'ycrsclf, and il may lie Hint Mad
nine Vazcy would like to go, 100. Of coin .e
she would."
Who should arrive the next day but uu
old gcnl leiuaii accompanied by au old lady,
inquiring if Joe was the man who wanted
some one to take care of his grounds, pre
Bcutiligut the same time a note from the
shoemaker, with his "coiiipliiniiits."
"Well, this is a scrape!" thought Joe.
BI'TLKJi PA . FRIDAY, SEI'TEMBU!' '4, SSsS
He would, not, however, send the old man
back, but obtained elsewhere a chance for
him to work. Grandpa Veazy and (irand
111a Veazy. as they called one another, were
both asthmatic, aud Joe remembered them
generally as Grandpa and Grandma Whee
zy. The other parties from who Joe tried
to hear were seemingly lost lo him as effec
tually as the ship is to the steamer rushing
past it on the Atlantic. But Joe did not
forget the young lady. As we draw aside
the vail from some old porUait carefully
protected from light and dust, so Joe, in
his musings, would nnvail the face hidden
in his memory aud look at it.
"I will never marry till I see its origi
nal." declared Joe.
And that night of the storm he did not
wish to go and see even his own "orphan."
It was such a night for a quiet, contempla
tive hour—several hours by the side of his
own fire. Nobody would be likely to
call.
But knock, knock, knock!
"Come iu!" shouted the disappointed Joe
to the person rapping at the door.
It was "Grandpa Wheezy," a wrinkled
old man. with a broken and husky voice.
"Good evening. Mr. Danforth. lam
very—sorry —to disturb—ye—but—could ye
come down—to see—the owld lady?"
"Oh, yes," said Joe at the same time he
thought: "1 shan't have to go to see the
orphan and that settles it."
"Is your wife sick to-night?" he inquir
ed.
"Oh—vir-rv, sir! She can't stop —
long."
They made their way through the storm
as fast as possible. Climbing the dark
stairs that led to the old people's
rooms in a tenement-house, Joe heard
singing. The old man heard it also, and
whispered:
"Hush! Them's—the angels! She's
gone!"
"Do you think she is dead?"
"She be!"
"Oh. no! That's not an angel singing,
though good singing."
"But I don't, know," thought Joe, listen
ing eagerly, as he pushed the door open.
The owner of the voice was apparently
young, and with deep feeling and more
than ordinary skill was singing "Rook of
Ages," that hymn of Christ, rest to the rest
less, strength to those weak through pain,
light amid the darkness of. death. She
stopped, after having completed the
hvniu.
"I wish—ye would—go on. darlint," said
the old woman, feebly. "Itgivesmi—com
fort."
"I'm here to—look after ye—now," said
the old man. "She must go—it—may—
lie."
"If I don't come again, don't forget what
1 have said to you," said the singer. "I
think 1 ought to go now."
As the young lady, with averted face,
moved toward the door, Granda Veazv
said:
"I've got—some wood—down in the nixt
intry—and its right—in the way—sure. I'll
have—il. out of the way.
The,young lady had passed out. of the
room, iiiul was waiting down on the stairs
for the removal of the wood that Joe and
grandpa had both stumbled against iu their
journey up stairs.
"Stupid!" thought Joe, who was in the
old lady's chain her. "Why don't ' hold the
light for those iu the dark entry? Grandpa
took none, and I don't know as he had a
second one to take."
lie held the lamp out in the passage-way
so that the light fell down upon the lairs
where the lady stood waiting for grandpa,
who was removing the wood further on.
The singer turned and lifted her face so that
the light fell upon il. Joe started. lie
saw no longer a lady on the stairway near
which toiled an old man; but out in the
leafy country he say a person half a dozen
years younger than the singer, yet having
the same form, the wonderful eyes! Shock
Number Three from the battery, after all
these long j years! He wanted to rush to
her, speak to her. ask her who she was.
where she lived.
"Mr. Danforth! Mr. Danforth!" sang out.
a voice.
11 was the old woman calling to him from
her sick-room. *
"I want to spake to ye!"
"Awkward, thi- i ."thought Joe. "Well,
tliev can tell me who the girl is!"
"I want to tell ye—something—that may
—h • good—fur ye," said the old lady to
Joe, who had now returned.
"What's her name?" he asked, eagerly.
"Name! I don't know—what ye call it—
but—it's—nine kind of railroad stock and I
can—tell ye where to find—it. It's not
much—good now, tlicy say, but they say—
iv'ry lime—it'. cumin's up—aud if—l ilii—
it's yours."
"Oh, keep it."
"I don't want—to kape it. I shau' a t live
always."
"Yes, you will," said Joe, giving nil war
ranted fiicniii'ugcmcut. "That's all right.
Aml w hat's her inline?"
"Who?"
"That lady."
"Och, she's "
"Don't, you know her?"
"No! She's an angel who calls on—the
sick—and no one—knows—as she'll her
come at all. Don't, know her name."
"Hul angel have names," said Joe ami
lie rushed into the entry where lie had left
the light. Alas, the angel had Down! In
other words, she had gone down the stairs
and gone out doors (irandpa aid, and who
she was lie did not know, but he would
try "
J lid not wail to hear anything more.
He rushed down thiough Ihe entries, and
then turned into the street, Il was of no
use.
"No angel!" he said, "Nothing but snow
(lakes—bull,"
lie returned to the sick chamber, left
-ome packages of goods that he had pur
chased on his way from his room to the
Veazeys', and then plunged out into the
storm again.
His feeling were not very agreeable Inil
lie consoled himself, living, "Now for my
warm room and comfortable slippers. Hall!
there's my cousin fanny's invitation. No,
I don't want t.o see my orphan, I don't
want to cc anything but those eyes. Here
I am lo be balked again,''
finally Joe thought that "being out," lie
might us well to Fanny's, stay awhile,
and end I lie job."
lie rang the doorbell, aud the crvailt
bowed him iuto his coin-ill's snug illing
n mm.
"Now for the orphan," lie said to him elf.
"Old ami ugly! Lyes green! Stature,
. hurt! t'oinpb .ion, sallow! Hair, ticry
red! Feet, elephantine!"
lie was saying this lo himself when hi
cousin entered and greeted him. lint who
■ lid she. bring u ilh her?
There was again the -ingcr with the won
dcrful eyes I hat lie had seen iu the entry of
the Veuscys. and there was Ihe girl iu the
country road!
"What is the matter with our Cou-iii
Joe?" t bought Fanny, lie did not even
speak lo her, but looked entranced al the
second lady. It was Shock Four from that
marvelous battery.
"Mr. Danforth 'Mis. Uurle."
lie did not peak. There was an aw k
ward silence on the part of all. Then Joe
i advanced towards : .uly. bin-lied, hut I
I what he said, in an nndertißift. Cousin FJIII- ,
ny never knew. An r th« re-.. Cousin J
■ Fanny told it in a 1. to li r iMer. who
: was away:
"Our iniissc-tertt i anew seholur
j and is hot going aw. 1 . . iri t'o;:. in ,lo t - i<
; going— I'nt. there, li t>: • -!1 it ill onb-r.
Our girl - niusie tea. ' - Earle. i- ;-,ii
orphan, as her only j. ill. living when -h
--came to the city, died 1 -! winter. She de
cided to go away, not I'.-iving M-ho!;'r<
enough. We have v. <( .lo to M-I- li ■.
but he wouldn't, aud ,ve joked him t>.b >ut •
his orphan, as we culh ii.-r. Me came f'ie ;
night before the day -h>- \v:i - to 1c.,. .•
town, aud she was hce andittitnis out |
that they saw one another •• ngo. ;md
took a fancy to one anv»tlii;r. .i<>e ,-.; v- lie
must not go away, as he will m: ke enotl; r
scholar for her, and next sji.iug they v II i
be married. They ore. going to take
house iu the suburbs -where they can have
a garden, and tho Vertxeys will live r :
them, as the old lady, who i> always <:•.. :. ;
has concluded to live, and Mr. Veaze, V'li i
lie Joe's gardener. Joe says I was the:') j
uoeent occasion of hi 10-iog his beloteil in j
the lirst place; but sitro!'. :l it had not heesi |
for me now, he would no have married his
orphan."
An OfV-.el Claim.
A hired man who h;i-1; i> employed on
a farm in this county, < i ■ .«! -nit agaiu-t
his employer the other ■ a tor luil titi-e of
wages amounting, a- '.* clawned. to
The suit was on trial in J.isti. alhy te.-ifr
day, and it looked at !i;. '■ .i tha plairii:ii'
had a clear case. He g. and tignr. -
is a straightforward way. When the tanner
took the stand he said: • 1 •le.iin a;; 011-el
for that for I hone Ily owe it."
'•What is your offset snid the la»yer.
'•He is an unbeliever."
"In what?"
"Why, in the l.ible'" ]
'"What has that got to do with your justly
•wing him £(2.'"
"It has a heap to do with ii. I had -Ik |
hands in my employ ami we were hurried
when I hired this man. He had not been i
with us two days when in lopped the reap- ;
er in the middle of I lie forenoon to di-puie t
about Daniel in Ihe lion" ien. and in three
days we had a knockdo. i ovj-r the v. heie j
.- wallowing Jonah, 'i' tneii who runs tin* i
mower got to arguing . ' oat .-:mi ">e ami |
drove over a st.ii.mp anil 'lc,, .-e«i the til. |
ehilie to the tune of-flS'. The lie\| <|.iy |in ' ]
boy broke his leg while . m'e'.g Ihe fence
to listen to the row th ! > .•- go ig on over p
the children of Israel ■ • through the Ueil
Sea. Worst of all, liiy " ml she ditlli't v
believe Klijah v.a fed l-\ Ihe ravens, and. \
hang it all, I found my-elf weakening over ,
Noah and his llood. 'i ■ t i uiv olf-el. sir; r
and if he was worth a • In , i I'd sue him u
for SI,OOO besides."—/ ■•,■/.» M/iiju:inr. f
Next Deo o It. c
"Well, what is it?" qneri"d the sergeant
as a colored man stood lieio.e him. hat in
I
hand yesterday.
"I wants a pitsson 're '■ (I Sail."
"Who is it?"
"An incendiary, sail."
"An incendiary, eh. Did lie el. your
house afire?"
"No, Bah."
"Some one el ■•' In • or !.. v,.'"'
"No, salt, lie libs m • <!•. an' hckn e 1
I sloppe.) de fani'ly IV" i' water at
our penstock lie's llo'v m lite lie gits |
out iu de yard an' cull ne a hun" dai
me ober de ft ice. In . l<ile ln',~ of folks
dat he mean, to do m no.'
"Dill he's no iiicendiii ,
"Why?"
"Ail incendiary if a pc--on v. ho e|s fire
to a building. This i .»• ol .!
•Ar' it? Well, if •e ■ 'ill to '.•ela' an
incendiary, an' I war, l 'aw !•> u*ji in en'
stop it. Ifitd'.an'ib 1 i-h • sit leeoncile
de consequences!"
"How?"
"How? Why. if he 1 Cm I shall d
ignale tuv self to ele\ • >er d.it fen e
i
some day an' percolai <■ [in- oil wni a
club until morality sol in! ! a worm
sah. an'orler ahotil r<> |I-<ig DE U,MI turn .'
Yellow Fever in Florida.
During the month ol Worm ; nun h a' l. in
existed in I'lorida. on ,n . ■ :nll. of ,'mc,
appearance there of yellow l' \er. Main
deaths have occurred in 11.:• nialjer town-
of the peninsula, but.l; t ">uvil!e luo In en
the principal seat of we. :,i the l<f lie be
tweeii health and di e. Daily'bulleihe
have been received fl'i, ill it, for J lie I.: I
month iind have tlne.vn .Ino* fliieimilioii
iu I lie number of case-: am 1 dentin, bill o,
I lie whole a pretty con - in number of m u
ca ics have been report
Kvcry means was a 1 ipied lo check the
speed of Ihe fever. If' in and tar It
were btiill and niainl.i > ,1 in ihi; boot
that the bituminous fin wonld kill loe
bacterial germ . Acln on Ihe ilico
llini concussion of tn. air would »••!< ?-l
the same re. ult. enntlo ' i,: <«{ we >■ le i
sively practiced. Klab> • que ■'i 1 ic er
rangcmciits were cslabii lied pu • cugci
baggage on the railroads u peel d we
detained ami I'limigaiml. ('.mips were c
luhlishcil for refugee \ older I'o o ol
precaution was the picl.e tie \ in/lou
were guarded by armed t i I'm Ihe > elit
sion of fugitives from i• '• ■ < Idi hid
On'e Advantage oi i.oino "FIJII-
Cated "
Freed woman Lizzie i >'O#M| inml. W.i
married to an unworl!, liicdiend, and made
complaint of his unkimliie. One of the
young Indie of Ihe family in which ,■ li ■
served, desirous of kin' iug how lie hup
pencil to be to nuirrn '. e-i d her about
their love making ami < on I li p.
"Lizzie, what on en <ii did \i'a,l say to
you to make you marr, 11i111'"
"Law! Miss Sallie," . - i =wcred Lizzie,"\oil
know I couldn't inak< no answer to Walt
when he come co'lin' of me *en>i..e Wnli s
nltcit Inl." (Willi guileful wi doni of word
lie "come co'l in'of lici ") "And." she con
tinilcil. "he j;ol r.tmit oil I i U'onl out de
jtnifn and iniif out d" ilf-lnimirii. ml
rti'nr, if 11 it know. Aft Sid lie. / colililul
imikc no 'sislance to \'t II
An A wful Ti agedy.
A horrible alfair un reported lately from
the neighborhood of' 1 ill l»< I. a ro-. d
townjur.i over the '• .■ ' ' , line. Jnlm
linker, while fecdiln' a ihrcxliiug imicliiue
Oil Ihe farm of a man In ineil Week. Was
accident ly cut on tin ml with the band
cutler by a boy. In e-e, lie gra peil Ihe
boy ami deliberately f : 1111 •/i 11 o the machine
leel lir I. The boy's nam •al I raeted tile
ill len I ion of I lie ol lu r h lids. Im I lie fine lln v
could interfere, the Inn body had hall di
a|i4ieared iu the machine. The enraged
men eized Dakcr n ' bmiir him to the
straw stack.
l'a liiou item IV'.at Ihe K'railktill \III :
"About nine tenth of Ihe prci ly girls at I h •
fele elillllipel re l.i I i due : eeiiicd lo be
minus the bullion, ai fiarbaiie bustle thai
lin so long held il • po-'lir-u in Ihe in liiou
able female makeup. A few may have worn
a mode l hurt of comp! ilni i;, probably uu
I't t titiiil X< it -or the 'ln i tinn til II in I.
but all looked lovelier and more graceful by ,
reason of ihe cut down in the hump."
| A Farmer's Daughter's Domes
tic Reveries.
I was at a party the other night and
they had a ring cake. The gentleman who
got the ring seemed -atistied; the yoiuig
girl who got the silver bit ,of money .-aid
that was all she cared for. aird she lives up
to her words. There was a thimble for
•industry." that fell to the lot of a young
city business mau. and a straw signifying
*■ l;.nil. that was Very .- >i ilt ly hidden
by the recipient who.-e aim iu life is u city
establishment. The "button ' fell to my
. share and that meant to be ail "old maid:"
Ol » oursc, t hare wa . a good deal of te;uiing
j and fun about it. but even if it proved a
true test, it has no tenors for uie so long as
I , 1111 earn my living in some pleasant path.
i It is true that I place home and love first.
| and feel keenly the thrusts that arc made
' at me when thoughtless people sav, "Your
father won't live always, and the boys will
gt t married, and then you'll be left aloue."
; But Ido not worry as 1 once did about
I these things. So many ways are opened
j up our sex that if 1 keep my mind active
I and my health good, I have no fear but I
■ shall be able to make a living, even though
! I do not reach the height I once hoped for
| if I had been able to leave my duties and
i start fair. It was curious how all this went
through my mind while I played with the
j "button" I had rescued from the cake, as 1
listened to the conversation of the gay par
ty. They were talking of love, and Milly
Rolland came to me in my quiet corner and
said, "Why Charity, how quiet you are!
What is the matter?"
"Must one be noisy to be be happy?" I
replied.
"No." she answered, "it all depends. I
have been happiest when no word was spo
ken."
A voice was heard loud and yet musical.
"I don't care so long as a man has money."
"That's not your idea, Charity, is it.'" said
Mill}'.
"Xo, I said, so low that no one could
hear. "I don't care so long as a mau has
love."
"Define it." she said, assuming Ihe air of
a school mistress, but looking at me with
appealing, blue eyes, in which I saw more
than she thought.
"As far as I have notided." I said, "it is
truth and trust, a calm, steadfast faith that
will stand by you whether you have a dol
lar or not. The faculty for flirting would
lower my idol to the dust; he must be
true."
"Oh. you set up too high an ideal," she
said, and I knew she was thinking of Burt.
"Well, perhaps." I laughed, "but don't
you imagine every time you are looked al
with luminous eyes, in the fervor of a heal
ed room while some male or female syren
sings of sentimental passion, that there is
any love in the'ease. Think if you could
stand the wear and tear of everyday life
lirst with the person who in all probability
cares for nothing but to win admiration.
No! If love ever conies to me I hope it will
be a prosy, every-day affair, with mutual
trust for its foundation. I shall not try to
sing his soul into an unhealthy fervor, and
then wilt when trial comes, and I shall
want him to look me in the face with a clear
ami steadfast gaze."
Milly was quite interested iu my re
marks.
"One would think you knew something
about it " she said. %
"No, I don't from experience,'' I answer
ed, "bat 1 have been made a confidant of
by so many girls that 1 know a little about
it. and it makes me sick to hear them talk
of conquest*. I think it is what lias made
me always stiff and an uuattraclivc. 1 was
surprised finding that Louisa Alcott had
ihe same feeling toward pretty girls as I
have, for she said that she had fallen iu
love with many lovely girls, but not with
one man."
"Your time will come some day," said
gentle Milly, and then Hurt came along,
saying: "What conspiracy is this.'" and her
eyes brightened us he led her away.
I am willing lie should marry her, as father
can't do without him oil the farm. But a
new family uill make changes iu the old
home, itnil I iind myself once more asking
the question. "What is to become of me?"
Abstract From the Naturaliza
tion Laws.
The following for the convenience of I lio-n
of foreign birth who desire to become cili
/cli ill the I nileil Slates has been issued
by the Hepublican State Committee:
l.a -i dm lor miluralization, Saturday Oc
tober (i, IHHM.
Kvcry person de. iriug to become natural
izeil inu -I swear that he will support the
('oust itution of the I : iiitcd Stale--, and re
nouin-e ami relinquish any title or order of
nobilily lo which he now is or hereafter may
he entitled, and must ah olutcly anil entire
ly renounce anil abjure all allegiance anil
fidelity lo any foreign prince, polcntale.
Slate or sovereignity whatever, aud purtie
ularly to ihe govcrumeiit of ihe country of
whoni he was before a subject. They mu d
also have the following pualilications:
They must have resided within the jure
did ion of Ihe I' nileil Slates for at least li\c
years.
They must have declared their intentions
(lir I papers) lo become t ilizen-fIII least two
years previous to their application for natur
iilizution pujinrs.
They must have re ided in the state Ibrat
lea I one year.
rpon their application in court lobemuue
citizen,, they inn I produce a qualified
elector to prove Ihe foregoing qualilical ion-.
He mil I lie naturalized al least one month
before lie call vote.
Persons of foreign birth arriv ing iu the
Cuitcil States, when under the age of IK.
Ilceil liol declare iul «*ll I ions, (lir I papers)
lull can lici nine eilizen- without such paper
after being of age and re iilcnls of the
I'nitcd Slates for at least live years, and
this Stale one year. The fuels lo lie proved
by a qualified elector.
Naturalized citizens to become qualified
electors must comply the same as native
born electors a to residence and faxes.
The foreign born son of a naturalized cili
zeii call vole on hi fat tier's papers, where
the lather was naturalized before the nu
became of age; lull if the sou has arrived ill
the age of twenty one before Ihe father was
naturalized, then the soil must become a
citizen in the same manner a- oilier foreign
born persons.
I'KOTIIONOTAIIIKS A Nil N ATI' R A 1.12 ATlllN.
Any prothonotary who shall is-sc, or
cause to be issued, any fraudulent natural
izalion paper shall lie übjeet to fine aud
imprisonment.
Keuienibcr Saturday. October tllh is the
last ibn lor niit iiralix.il ion. if you de ire to
vole lor ll.irn on and Morton and I'roicc
lion lo \uiericaii industries on NovcmberO.
A poet sends us some verses, begin
ning. "Now inspiration, seize my nine."
Hence the reason llnil we call our waste
basket "inspiration.
lfcetor "Tho c pigs of yours arc in •
fine condition, Jarvis. "Yes, siir, they be.
Ah, siir, if we woi all on us on'y us lit. to
die us them are, we'd do.
('lliciigo Mau- Were Ihe ilelcgalcs un
ilislruclcd? Boston Man I'uiiislrueteil?
, Well. I diould say o' They were Ihe most
I gnoriiiit personh 1 ever saw.
» i
- J The Arizona Kicker.
{Petroit Free Press.]
I ' The last issue of tin* Arizona li'erklt/ '
. | Kicl.Tr contains tin- following items:
An\ U K GRATlS —ffi' have a wonl «>r J
I two of advice to those people who are
i canvassing the town for subscriptions to
• build a church. Get your congregation be
; fore you get your building. We've taken j
the town directory and gone slap through it :
i i from cover to cover, and we haven't lighted
on the name of one single individual who
h.ts got religion enough to drive a mule 4<>
rods.
We refused to chip in for a church, but
will give *lO to help gel l.ainpas Jake, the
revivalist, down here. We wan' him to
come her'- and tell the people that they are
the meanest, wickedest, low-down, shack
nasty lot of heathens in America, and that
not one of them stands any more show of
| getting to Heaven t tan a jack-rabbi' docs
of out running chain lightning. If. lake can
knock any ofihcdirt off and get down to
the cuticle and scare thunder out of enough
citizens to hold a prayer meeting we'll go in .
for a church building with a whoop.
SoriKTV NOTES.— Mayor Jim Gibbous and ,
wife, of Jerusalem 11:11, arc vacating in the
mountains. These are the only two iuhabi- |
tants who are able to take an outing this j
summer, and they couldn't have gone if thej, ,
hadn't dodged a dozen creditors and bor- ,
rowed $7 of us. We'll bet 4to 1 to y heat
their hoard bill when they get ready to ri \
turn.
<
To TILK TRADE.— The hi, In- would be
willing to take a column advertisement 1
from some Kastern drag hous •in exchange 1
for 100 pounds of insect powder and li>o '
blow guns. There seems to be a nervous
ncss on the part of our people against ask
ing our local druggists for the stulf. but '
there would be no hesitation in calling at 1
i
this office. As the publisher of a faniiij
newspaper we seem to beget confidence.
Please leave your orders at an early date. \
(So IIK.NCK! —The lop-eared moiufrosity t
who claims to edit the Prairie Slur has 1
been so jealous of the phenomenal success ]
of the Kicker that he hasn't enjoyed his <
whiskey f"»r the last three months. In his (
last issue he claims that our circulation <
does not reach 150. and that we are carry- t
ing sixteen columns of dead ads. We here- I
by publish our affidavit that onr circulation I
is 1")3 copies weekly, and constantly grow- n
ing, and as for dead ads. that's our business, u
We have discovered that the people of this a
town can extract more comfort out of an |
ad. of St. Jacob's oil, Uadway's Relief, r
Trask's Ointment or Mr. Allen's Hair He- a
storer than from a two-column sketch by i;
Trollope, and il is our biisiue sto please the ri
masses. ti
it
A HKMIXDKK.—Onr birthday occurs next |,
week, Friday—thai being our 35th—and any ~
little reminder sent in by the public will be
warmly appreciated. We stand iu need of ri
shirts, socks, neckties, collars, etc., and it «
has been suggested that, tin- ladies organize
and contribute to a generous outfit. ,4
Some of our friends declare that, iu view
of what the Kiel:, r has done for this locali i
ty, a purse ofsl<M) should be prcM-utcd tons
by the men. We should be thankful. of ,
course, and more thankful if it was made ;l
$l5O. An editor shouhl be modest, how
ever, and we simply throw out these few |
suggestions without any thought of being ',
personal. ( .
I'. S. We wear a No. 15 collar, and the
. hirts should be full in the hack. j
MOKE WlNl). —Prof, Uosc, who hit this 1
town la prinir to get up a class irr music, 1
,'iid who lias been here on his uppers ever '
since, doesn't like our way of dealing with
him. Hccaitse we suggested last week that '
lie quit dead-heating and pick up the pick 1
and shovel, lie is around town calling us a '
fugitive from justice, and asking why the 1
police don't do something.
Gently, Professor. When we left Xenia, '
<•., the Sheriff patted us on the back and
lent us hall'a dollar. We are the only man
in 111 i-i town who doesn't turn pale when
1 |
tin- stage conies in. and the only one who
doesn't break for the sage brush when it is '
announced that the I'liited States Mar hal
is here. We ain't rich or pretty, but we '
are good, and the Professor is barking up
the wrong tree. We don't bear him any ill '
will, but the Professor must retract his 1
statement about us or we'll drop a line to 1
I'inkerton asking if Valler Jim. alias Prof.
i... . : ... i '
Ko.»<\ i il l w'.inftMi soiiifwlhti\
An Unfortunate Miracle.
Tlii< ccli'liriili'il slirimt of Si Anne «l«-
Iteaiipie, ill Montreal, which has hccn -•>
prolific of Hcn-aliotiH, luiliccn the i ni •• of
nuniltcr most startling one .lean Itaptisie
Murciiti, a wealthy resident of Ontario.
went suddenly liliml llirri' years »■;<>. iin
mediately iifti»r wedding a most licautiful
/rill His aflliclion grieved liim sorely. In
lollffillfC lipiill to look 111 II HI I III' face III' his
liclo\cil iiiii', u lio continued to care firT him.
«
ci-mingly tenderly. Hearing of the wimi
derful cures of SI. AII in*' ■, lif mailt' several
pilgrimage* there, having great lailh that
liim vision would In l rc-torcd through her
. .lintly ini iTi'i • ion. LII-I week I In* miracle
hil|i|ii'lii'il. In llir mill I of liiri devotion
hi'lori' llf shrine, hi. lost -ijrlll WII» mlilcii
ly restored. Ili' at once ft out joyiill ilv
lor lioini', lieing determined lo laki' 111
wil'i- liy nrpr preteni iig for a whi!# thai
hi' was till liliml. Hi' wa Welcomed linlnc
liy lin- ilcri'ivril woman, Inil to hir astoni <li
mi'iil thi-rr was a <1 range yoiiiijf man in tin
room to whom no reference was made
liy I In-wilt-. Thinking In-r hnshuml Mill
liliml. In- wan iiiiri - rnoil, ami Mori'im was
In irri lii-i I at tin- fjlin 11 ia ril ii- s thai look |»l.i'
IlllWi'l'll I III' tWo, t In* will' keeping 11 |i 111
iliH'rri'iil coiivrr-alion all tin- titm* At
Irn/.'Hi him rage got i in- lii' t of liiin. ami,
leaping to 111- feel, III' denounced till' glllll.l
pair. Tlii' woman fainted anil I In* man (It'll
Mori'im now livi- separately from his tin
faithful wilt'.
l'rofi'ssor (lookilltr at hi-, walrli) —"A ■
wi' Inn,i a few minute-. I shotilil like lo
have ant i>il1■ -K 11111 lions if no <ll |><. i-il."
StildftH "What linn' i il. please?"
\ gentleman, -peaking of a young
licaiityfiiMhintiahlc yellowish hair, called
IL |III ri* gold. "Il ought lo lie," i|itolh a
frii'tnl: "It looks liki' twenty lour carrots."
School inistri-!' (jn.t ln-jri it it injr a nice
improving lc on upon mineral in the jun
ior )- --Now, what an- lln- principal thing
wc get out of the i-il it h * Voiithful Angler,
ngcil four (I-IHlfiili-ntly)—"Worm-."
Eililll —"Now, (irutidpu, ilon't tin' l!i
I ili- say our hairs arc all tiiiiulicrcil"ltahl
In .111 1-I I liriiuilpa -"Ye.-. chihl, \ >Kdilli
Well, tiraudpii, il iliiln'l Iroulili- llu'tii
much to coiiul yours, iliil il f"
—Il i lateil thai a otic legged Swcili" at
l!lo Inil}.' tried to commit amide by jump
iug into lln- Tioga river a lew il.n s ago; lull
In- wa '■ full of lieer that he couldn't keep
uuilcr w uler. ami after floundering about tor
a lime lie m Tumbled out ainiil the jeers of a
crowil on the liauk.
Montana received I~o,lltHl hcuil ol cattle
from Texan in two weeks recently
The tiniest of HcreWH no into watches.
The smallest is 4 HWOofan iin H in iliame
ter.
- NO. 45
A Puzzle in Pronunciation.
t'niil a few years ago the proper or rath
1 er iiii : !'t«rin pronunciation of Knglish word
iwn ■ not the subject of much concern in th
I'liited States. There were two or three
recognized -taudanWamoug dictionaries.and
in addition to these some of the colleges set
up standard* of their own or made innova
j tions. while the masses of the people pro
nounced ii]>oii a standard of their own. and
chief!', as they had become accustomed to
do iu the parts of the country where they
lived. Of course all this tended to diversity
and provincial! m. and. alter the lapse of a few
generations, to the formation of dialects.
< M late there ha> been a general movement
tor i;i:iioin ity mid corn ctness. Webster"*
dictionary is generally accepted as the
san lard. It makes uot much difference
what the standard is so that there is one,
for Kng!i-<h i» a lai gn >g" which cannot lie
]>io.!onnc:vl at cording to rule. The excep
tions generally outweigh any rule that can
be made. Some ofthe changes made in the
pronunciation of words in the past few
years are radical and of .-n absurd, and the
generation that i* pas-ing into old age will
I c oh:iged to unlearn ninth that they were
taugul in their youth, toconfornt themsel
ves to uioilern standards. If anyone thinks
he can speuii Knglish correctly we ndvis
him to read aloud the following exercise,
pronouncing each word as he thinks it
should be and then refer to Webster's dic
tionary for the correct pronunciation. We
think he will be a-'ouNhed either at his
own mi stakes of those of the dictionary:
"One enervating m< r ting, just after the
HM- ot the sun. a youth Inuring the cogno
men Galileo, glided in his gondola over the
legendary waters of the lethean Thames.
He was accompanied i.y his allies and co
adjutors. the dolorous IVpys ami the erud
ite l holuiondclcy, the most combative aris
tocrat extant, mid an Kpicnrcan. who for
!' arned v:tj am s and revolting discrcpant-ie*
of character v.ou'd taVe precedence ofthe
nio.-t < rmiite oi all the Arcopagitae literrti.
I licse sacrilegious dramatis jicrsoiue were
discussing iu detail a suggestive and ex
hausting address*. delivered from the
yros. eniiini box of the Calisthenic Ly
ceum by a notable financier
on obligatory hydropathy as ac
cessory to the irrevocable and irreparable
dot trine of evidtttiou, which had lieen ve
il. IllcUtly panegyrized by a splenetic pro
fessor ot;i< on. -lies and simultaneously de
nounced by a complaisunt opponent as an
undcuiousfrahle rouiatiee ofthe last decade
amenable to no ri a-ouiug. however all«>-
pathic. outside of its own lamentable envi
ron... These peremptory tripartite brethren
arrived at Grccnwich, wishing to aggrand
ize them-ch cs In indulging in exemplary
relaxation indicatory of impla< aide detenta-
I ion of integral tergiversation and extilerie
intrigue. They fraternised withaphreno]
logical harlet|uiu who was a connoisseur in
uie/zotiut ami falconry. This piquant per
son was heaping contumely and scathing
raillery on an amateur in jugular recitative
who held that the Pharoahs of Asia were
i-onvfi-sant with his theory that morphina
itnd quinine were exorcists of bronchitis.
Meanwhile the leisurely Augustine
Uockhurn drank front a tortoise-hell wassail
tup to the health of an apothc-izcd recti*
s.mt who was his supererogatory patron,
and an assistant recog.-.izaiiee in the immo
bile nomenclature of interstitial molecular
phoiiit s. The contents of the ve<>»*| prov
ing soporific, a stolid plebian took from its
cerements a heraldic violoncello, ami. :w»-
sis |cd by u plethoric diocesan from Pall
Mall, w I.ii performed on a wntWii piano
forte. proceeded to wake tbr clamorous
echoes of the enipyremi. They bade the
prolix Caucasian gentleman not to miscon
strue their inexorable demands while th»y
dined on acclimated anchovies and apricot
trnfflcs and had for dessert a win *arr»'a
pharmaeoptria. Thns the tniculent r "th
agoreans liatl a novel repast for the tK
tin the subsidence of the feast they alterna
ted between soft languors and isolated
scenes of squalor, which 6>l lowed a me
chanist's reconnoissawe of the imagery »d"
l.'ranus. the Icircnd of whose incognito re
lated to a (Milliard wound in his »l«doinen,
received while cutting a swath in the inter
est-, of telegraphy ami posthumous photog
raphy. Meantime an unctuous ortheopist
applietl a homeopathic restorative to the
retina of an abjuratory spinel named Pan
iel and tried to perfect the constrnrti«m of
a bcbouioth which liecame mired in a
slough while listening t« the elegiac sough
ing of the prehistoric wind.™
"T ' ■ I
Caldwell Mas An Epidemic.
A month agoa mysterious ili-wifcw apprar
cil at Caldwell, i». It had -ome character*
i-tic of typhoiil fever »n«l some of imtliinif,
ami whole families were alUrllnl Tllll
malady was lingering. ami victim* rarely
ilieil uuilcr six or seven ilay*. In therourm
ol a fortnight nearly every family in town
was atfecteil ami Ihe ilenth rate hecamn
alarming. Many families |*>fl town llnsi
tiess is paralysed and fnnernl pro* i.mli— urn
almost constiintly in the street*. The phy
•iciaii »rc near!) all worn out anil nviln ;ut"«
seems to ilo no good.
The ilisea-e floes not a|t|H'nr l» !»• infee
t ioitH except to resilient- there, for ont-ider«
are not affected. This lead* to the belief
that the ili ca ie jrerin- are in th«* water.
The town i- very ohl ami has no syrtrm frf"
The IIIIIIIIht of ileath- in now
I went i live, • mbrariujr Imth ihi-" »II«I all
aye Tin- populalion of the plSk-e i« I.*a».
t'oiuitrj pcopli are afraiil to t the ton n,
ami it i- feareil a niitnlier of merrhauts will
lie coinpcllcil to iissiirn.
A Competent Nurse.
Mist res i (|n applicant)— "Ve*; I h«T«
ailverti <il for a nurse. Are you t-ouipeteiit
to take rare of yoiiti|t rliildrenf"
Applicant—"(»h, yK muni."
Mi-tress— •• You never (rite them pareror
ie lo i|iiiet Ihelilf"
Applicant—"Niter, mum. I alien pre
fers laiiilaiium."
Proper Prldo.
biirw-r —"Ye . I see you have r'"»l
yroiilul lor a hri-ach of promiiM! suit. Almnt
how niiicli ilam.iin shall I claim for yuuf
Pair Client—"At least *iO.O»n.'*
"M\ tars, the fellow hasn't over #0«0 t«i
his name!"
"lie ha-nV Then ilrop the suit. Catih
me lireakiti|t my heart over any ♦WW young
man!"
WxKxm'a 1..-, run
■■ II iMinu s Karsupmilla,"
] aSajS. i'OIIL'II ainU'onsiimptioti
y f Itemeily,"— Hops ami lln
jKll.F-' UiQ i hu." "Kxtrai t." "llair
j . Toiiie," — "l.iver I'lll-."—
f l\'C3 "I'lasters." (I'orous Klee
Irical), —"lime Cream.' lor Catarrh. Thi-y
are till- - iniplc, ell'ective remedies of the o|4
l,ojj Tallin ilays, Kverylmdy uses Warner'*
"Tippecalioi'."
The Inrgcst luinlMT-mlll on the Parifio
coa tis at I'ort Itlakely. Wy. T Its outj
put al present Is lifll.ilOO fei-t per «Uy.
Memphis. Teun., the greatest inland
cotton murket in the world, htknillew from
TINI.IMNI to l.iNNi.iMNi hales per yew.
—The Amalgamated Carpi-nter'n Society
has unions in every Knirliidi-npeakiDfc cvun<
trv iticloding India and Aostnlia.
D