VOI. XXV. - « # -* BPI UL Ni-u York lt»» that eoßMafs I - - J . \ nil i n-good po!t:ts of si'Vc r;il acceptable I yr\ i lies. I)i >._..<•(! to-'.lit all lac--s.lt is t jd l. i .mfng to everyone. i-i- Conv-s In all the straws and the • , " 1* admits of 11 any styles i f trimming and 3. ,V?. .. cut shows It trimmed In • .nt- of tie many ways i 1( con;t s ir--m "ur expelieuced Of the public as it !ia-. It Is 'I; bound to Itemembcr our baigalns cannot !&«*;'• r-t* '■ he dupliiiited in two v.- eks. -- this over a bis far ddlf '• '•*' trainings, dl r ■ . in ABU ■. Among them :ire the K.M Q." arid the "Ilunny." M«f v •"! Th re ems to 1 e :.;i imprelon that because 1 . « «#» * " wear patronized !:y the t.. h on.ale people,we flpu'l p--.'., T : ■ ji- in:' t.i vl ' I: ; cket .1:. limited Tins 1-a great mlbtuke. I Whi;> . i raving the custom 01 the fashionable women, to make spi -lal efforts to Tr.vki' -n 'tani: wc can suit t;.e taste and means of anyone, now--ver odd the taste, «r llmi'eil Use means. j U M T.ELI A PITH," To tiios who have- ft we say nothing. Their once a.;:ae aiv.jys. To tho • who never tried It we say, '-protr by tU2 experience of •uiiy St. try Miss M. H.Gilkey, New Bui!d:r.g, No. 62 S. Main St. THE LEADING MILLINER . Give us Your Attention V ■ i farmer ::irr-li o( bargains. Von are about io fnvct in some of *1 ■ <-r: Jim ' In.: ii • n V- ivc fonnd It's elieaiv s! tol i: Un-In ,i. i.r- .vlll t-i li rejou get that !!:<• i t:i :lpest. Ci.r.le.-s that . i . > ■ • A -- ■; • rT'mi.'i l!arr.-.V ;itei the Imltationr: that arcoii the m.-irkct. i.ul:;**. ! 1.1 11 yi un d a good liarrow, we ri*' onam nil it. > ...it il'i.n't l.t>ow t'. it wi sell more Novelty Pumps. Iron forre, l: ! t ili tli har»l>- uv turns cl Butler put together. We do tt i n?h. i ■ i ii,! and ii*.!; at i-nr :.tu>'k. You'll I> am something. We ' , . . i - 11 .• -r •'. l nm: Della'-.en Stoves and Ranges, iiagle Khistlc l*ai utji, ready mixed. " * • • i ,r.\ Wire S.-reens. Patent flimns, etc. Our stock Is not '-, i.!. d tis .no i - -'lilt v :ind we cannot l>e undersold. JACK SOX k MITCUEI BiUler, Pa, What You Eat! , iiuj (irtant coiisitleration of your life, and much oi , is duo to the careful and conscientious grocer. hir the best in the market, select ali our goods with * ... aif.-t c.are, aid claim to have as good a stock oi (irocerit , « as can be found anywhere. \\V v -nt your trade and invite you to try our Flours, Sujar-. i'■■ .'S, Canned Fruits, Dried Fruits. Spices, Hams, Cauiied Mf Crackers, Confectioneries, Tropical Fruits, Nulf. i anytliinp in our store room. ( : .;iv i!■ duce a specialty, and till new fruits and veg etftbl's in f.-ii'-ou i,, oar h i"i Hall, in the second story of our building, we h;iv - . 110 Ifir s- stock of Chinaware, Glassware, Crockery, Lump tiid Fancy (TOCKIS in the town. (i:vo us a trial, highest market price allowed for produce. C. KOCH & SONS, MT> :-T.« - - BUTLER, PA. JACOB 13008, DEALER IN GEOICE FAMILY GROCERIES, Fl/ T ii, FKED, lIAY AND ALL KINDS OF GRAIN. Y'c an- now in our new store-room on S. Main St.. and have tli •ru nn to a<;ct)mmodate our large stock oi groceries. Hour, ot . have built a large ware-house to accommodate our tftoek. of feed. We pav the highest cash price for potatoes and all kinds ot COUNTRY PRODUCE. Jacob Boos, 106 B ,^.T. E£T ' BarCxAxs in WrVrci iks, Clot KS, Jewelry And Silverware. Finest stink of Sterling Si 1\ erware in the county, aud at prices not to be equalled for cash. Watches and Clocks; repaired and warranted, at J. 11. GrRIEB'S ]STo. 1G South Mil St., of ELECTIUC BELI-), Sutler, Pa. .GRIiAT JULY SALE OF ANC ALL KINDS PF FANCY GOODS. ?•"» cen'. Saleens, at - - - -0 cents 20 cent Sateens, at - - - 1-J cts "»(♦ cent Barred and Plain White Goods, - cents cent Haired and Plain White Goods, - 20 cents '2cent White Lawns, Yic., - - lo cents cent White Lawns. Yic, - - - 10 cents ■ >'t fx-iii Y.ird Wide Cashmere, - - 20 cents GOODBRU3SELS REMNANTS. Nune I UL'I- enough f-.-r large rooms —some for small rooms, 4 > c %ll \Vo«»l i;x(ra Super C°ur|»ctM, - 511 ccnls. iti'Ml'l .ibl.-Oil ( lollit, ... 2.» t'cnls. K'» in t'e* hou.e at way down prices during this July sale. tMMi.ber tin-so juices are only good up to August Ist. We i ,i- st! I a hiij:e 10l «>i Millinery goods and Trimmings. Coiue .t »! I buy tin-iu at your own prices, as we are going to quit t- ;u part ol the business, aud they must be sold regard !• s oi oust. it [ITER & RALSTON. THE BUTLER CITIZEN. A DRILLER'S DREAM. La'tniglitl had a vision, Or I'd better say a dream, For there are so mauy people Don't kno'.r what a vision means, I dreamed I was .1 driller. And my time had come to die; I saw my sinl'ui spirit Wafted to the shining sky. I knew that I hail been a "whale," And when I saw in view, Death's an,'el coming tar me, boys, I tell you things looked blue ! I thought of God's unmeasured love And tried to quell my feais, But, no! mv heart was burning With the vice of vanished years'! The every board-bi'l that 1 skipped Was present in my iniu i As was the many pretty girls O, the girls I lett bohind ! But, death, regardless of uij fears, Hose s;igh his mighty hand, And silenced ine forever Fro n tue diiller's little band ? An angel, clad -in golden garb, "Come, go with me " did says For yours shall b; eternal nig'it Or never-ending day. As up the shining stair* lie iveiit 1 tottered by his side; O, how I wished that 1 had lived And some one else bail died ! Wo traveled on until 1 thought We walked a thousand miles; I kindly asked him, would he stop And iet me rest awhile '! He bowed his fair angelic head, And, boys, what could 1 do? When, in an instant, like lie vanished fro.u my view ! 'Twas then the dreamy Poet's words In griei'did I rtcaii; With the friends of earth You can diink your mirth, But alone you must drink your gall! And listen till I tell you, now, What doubled my despair ! A ting that I saw floating Through the heayen's morning air! A flag was floating with the breeze Before my troubled eye These were the words there written on, "No Irish-Need Apply!" The feeling that came o'er me then No human tongue can fell; My chance of heaven I thought was slim, But now I knew it well. In a moment more I stood before The diamond door of heaven I rang the bell—St. Peter came - To him the keys were given. Good morning, sir, St. Peter, And my heart went back a mile; Uond morning to you, stranger, lie added with a smile. Your name and occupation, sir, He calmly said to me As he opeu'd wide the IJjok of Life I'pon his sacred knee. My name and occupation— O. my '. O, my !! O, my !!! My uauie was Dennis ltagen, And "No Irish Need Apply !" My name is Dennis Ragen, St. Peter, 1 did say ! I am a Driller from near Cannonsburg In Washington, I'*. The scheme then !l übe-l upon my mind That 1 had better try Ai.d go in on mother's ticket If "no Irish need apply !" Yes, my father was a native Of old Ireland's sunny laud, But w:is banished to America By Fngland's palsied hand. He was a trae born Irishman And loved his country much, But my mother's name was Jacobs Of the Pennsylvania Dutch. And while I told the story, I was gazing on the sign, He caught my glance of pity As his eyes looked up in mine. Did yonder signal scare you Said his Saintsliip with a smile, As he pointed to an index-board, * A-." TO UI.LJ, A HALF A MILE || j * * 3 I NO IRISH NEED APPLY! j i * I didn't see no index-board; Where is it, sir, said I, Whv, right above the wo'ds, "No Irish Need Apply !" O, now that 1 the truth would tell How awful it would be ! To say there's not a drop of Pennsylvania Dutch in me ! But, my joya I could not bridle, And I told him on the square That my mother's name was Murphy She was born in county Clare. The time is fleeting fast, he said. Be (|uickly as you can; How long have you been drillling. And are you a married man ? Seven years I've been a driller, As near as I can tell; I was single at the boarding house And married at the well. But, listen ! I'd an object In the celebrated lie; The mairied men get bread and h;an« And the single men get pie ! O, if you could see the dinner pails When the boys are standing in ! You'd not wonder that the Drillers Are forever single men ! Or, if you knew the hardships They encounter and endure. You'd blot out each and every sin, St. Peter, I am sure ! I have breasted Bradford's frozen snow On many a "wild-cat" well, Ami climbed the derrick oft at night When the rain in torrents fell. Yet, I did not reject tiie lot That God had sent on me, And glad I am now, how I did bow With the highest heayen's decree. He listened to my story, And his eyes began to 611, Saying, "blesssd are they who labor And bow before God's wilj A Driller's life, 1 know, is filled With crosses aud with cares, But i>*yo:id the grave he's richer Than is any millionaire. Then I said, St. Peter, tell me ! Are there any drillers here ? Yes, the book shows seven thousand <,'ornes to j >in us every year! We will go, he said, and see them, 'I hry've a heaven of their own; It is next to God, the father, He is sitting on the throne ! I ftar >ou will not know them In their garlands rich and grand As lie introduced me, paying: "Mi re's another of the band Soon I saw an eclipse gather On the bright and gleaming sun Aud a thousand signals told rac That the judgment day had come. Just tli«u tiie grcit Arch Angel Like a ti wxi ut light ci*ae iu, Aud sboatod, d J cti:iirs For Parker aad his men !" The lirst of the gancr ta enter Was the gallant Jim McCrea; Next cause John and his ludiaa lass; O, what did Peter say ! Don't ask me. fur just then the old clock Struck the hour eleven, Ar.d I awoka t trunk, loosely liDrboreil by suake-like roots, tossed helplessly in inirialreaai. "Mfwnuia! See the b : g boards coin ing!" cried out her little daughter. Kate looked far up stream aud saw a great timber sailing leisurely aiong. Now it, caught oa a projecting snaLr aud swung half about, now it strut-k ou a submerged island, and idly dis engaged itself and sauntered on. Be hind it WHS another—tbe stream was black with them. "Ob, my God! The railroad bridge!' The railroad bridge, and the after noon train now nearly due, soon to rush down a steep grade to a leap in to that yawning chasui. ller first impulse was to start up the cauou, but she instantly checked herself. What folly with miles of overflow between and the doomed traib! Word must be sent down to the station and from there a telegram to the next Stopping place above the bridge. But how? The hired man! Jim had gone an hour before to the village to get the mail and have hii daily go-s --.c-ip with the loungers of the place. Even if be were here, neither horse nor man was fleet enough to cover tbe cireuituous road that that lay be tween. Then she looked at the pros trate sycamore. Down the stream, leisurely, but nearer and neater still, sailed the great timbers. "Marian; take little brother aud go straight to tbe house and stay there till mamma comes back." Sh.? bad already pulled herself up by one of the roots and was creeping stealthily along 1 tbe swaying trunk. Here ber dress caught ou a branch; there she had to climb down and crawl along with her feet under the water to avoid au upright limb. Once she slipped aud lost her hold, and was neatly sucked into the eddy ing current, but she caught at a pro jection at:d swung herself up again. She could hear the swash of the heavy timbers up-stream as they rock ed lazily upon the water, but she did tot dare to look. Before her the main trunk of tbe tree was lost and she saw two diverging limbs, one low ic the water, the other locked with the oak in mid-air. Which to take? She dared not hesitate, but began a perilous climb along the upper limb, slippery and naked in placs, waver ing so that she grew dizzy aud shut her eyes to keep from falling. And, to, lying prone upon it, she crept the eniire lengbth. and the great stijk of timber struck heavily against the fall en sycamore, and ju»t as Kate swung herself into the branches of tbe oak she felt her support give way, and with a groan and craoh, and wild up tossings of its skeleton arms, the old tree tore loose from its moorings, and was swept down stream toward the bay. Her hands torn and bleeding, Kate Middleton reached solid ground at length, aud first her maternal instinct asserted itself, aud she looked back and saw her children standiug still and looking ofter her. She pointed home with a gesture that they dared not disobey, and saw them turn and run up tbe laue, then she sped on her way. She was not light of foot as in her girlhood; whereas, she was once fleet as a deer and swift motion was a very joy to her, she now realized that she was growing to be a stout aud middle-aged woman. She mov ed heavily and clumsily and labored for breath, and her feet were like clods beneath her. There was a mile of rough and rocky ground to be cov ered before she reached the station, and the train—oh, but to possess once more the agility of her girlhood! Which would be first? Would the train, flying across the upper levels of tbe Coast llange, reach the next station before the brave woman bad sent ber message of warning? How many times she asked herself the question she could not have told. She scarcely dared to hope that she would be in time. Her heart seemed ready to burst with grief for tho ter rible misery threatening so many happy homes. Alas! for the orphan ed children who might cry aloud to heaven that night! Alas! for fathers aud mothers whom the morrow might be ; hold bowed down witb sorrow! Alas! for husbauds and wives— She was crossing the bed of one of the many abandoned channels of the impetuous mountain steeam, a rocky pathway, strewn with the spoils of by-gone freshets, where, even then, a shallow stream was rippling past, token of the torrent's surplus force. She faltered, smitten by a new and awful thought. What if Tom—Tom, who was not to come for two days more; Tom, who had started out in an altogether different direction— should have cut short his excursion, or with hid party, driven home by the continued rains, somehow wan dered to one of the upper stations and boarded tbe train there! Where now was her vaunted phys ical strength now? What was she, after all, but a weak, wretched worn man,with trembling limbs, every mus cle clogged by this great horror that had taken possession of her, a fierce pain gripping at her b«art, something rising in ber th oat which suffocated her, her eyes blinded with babyish tears? Thank God! ber brain kept clear and true to its purpose and urg ed on the flagging body. On, on, over little hillocks, across level stretches of saud, down new ravines she ran. Once she cut her foot cruel ly upon a sharp stone aud remember ed, for the first time, that she had on the light, worsted slippers she had worn in the house, and hud careless ly neglected to exchange for walking boots when she started down to the creek with ber cl ildten. She even bethought herself that her loose house-dress was scarcely the style of apparel in which she should like to present herself at the station, could she have her choice, and in the same breath sent up a prayer of thankful ness for its light weight which scarce ly encumbered her movements. Witb all the rest of her senses dulled, ber hearing appeared to have become preternaturally sharp. She seemed to hear tbe clatter of tbe ap proach ing train twelve miles away. The throb, throb, throb of tbe engine kopt pace with ber beating heart. She heard the hollow echoes from the neigh boring hills as the train ! crept over embankments, its deafen ing clam or as it rushed across tres tle work, its dull rumble as it roiled 1 oyer solid ground. She even seem ! Ed to see the engineer as he laid his i hand on the escape valve, ready to • give the iron monster voice as it j beared the little mountain town, then j the wild shriek of the escaping steam, the clangor of the bell, the puff, puff, | as the train slackened speed, the clat- ter of the brakes, the of tht coupling. Would she never reuch the little red station house, now plainly in sight at the of the smooth grav eled road? She was passing tbe postoffice, where people idly gazed at her. What matter! If only there were a horse and busrgy in sight, to help her on her way! If only one of tbe loungers would understand and take op tbe mission which her spent strength seemed inadequate to fulIM ! But she might not turn aside. On tte d -pot platform more loung ers, Jim aninig them, rolling a quid ot tobacco in his . cheek and talking earnestly about the state of the weather and the prospers of the growing crops. They all looked upon her as a mad woman, as she ran past them. Jim muttered an ex pletive under his breath, moved by tbe strong indignation that must al wavs possess a self respecting ser vant, when master or mistress does something derogatory to dignity ot bis "family." The station master was in his office talking with a gentleman who had come down from tli3 liiouutaiiu, and was waiting to take the to the city. lie wa3 clad in a hunting suit and was talking with some-excite ment. "It has rained all tbe week," he was sayiug; "you thiuk it rains here in the valiley, but, groat guns! you should be up in tbe mountains in a rain storm. Sheets aud sheets of it —blizzards of sleet and hail, an-1 the wind blowing like a hurricane. We broke camp yesterday. I took a bee line down here. The rest crossed bills to the station abovp. They'll be down on tbe four o'clock." Voice and speaker were familiar to the woman who stood in tbe door way, both hands pressed to her paut breast. Tbe words came only to dis tinctly to ber quickened senses. Then her premonitions were true, aud Tom —Tom was on that i'ated train. Ag:iin her body reeled, but her steady braiu saved her. "Stop the train! Tbe bridge is gone!" she cried. Both men looked up, startled at the words. With the prompt move ment of a man trained to obey orders the agent leaped to bis instrument; the other man, slower to compre hend, came forward, the look of amazement on bis face, as he viewed the singular apparaition in the door way. giving place to amused indul gence, as he recognized the speaker What au eccentric, impetuous girl Kate Mitchell always was, and wnat a life she must lead Tom Middle ton! "This is quite an unexpected pleas ure, Mrs. Middleton," he said smil in g. She waved him back with a siogle imperious gesture There was a brief silence, The operator listened intently, with his bead resting on his hand. Kale Middleton lemaiued standing in the doorway, her bauds clasped low, her face blanched with dread, and all her sonl absorbed in listening, Jack Spencer, slowly com prehending the meaning of the scene, waited, his interests growing with every moment's delay. At last it catne, tbe monotonous click, click, conveying its proten tious message in a language uukuown to two of the three anxious listen ers. Tbe operator arose from his chair. "Just in time. The train was pull ing out of the station, but they stop ped her." Kate Middleton clutched at the doorway. For the first time in her life her head gave way. She was again ou the swaying sycamore, and the limb was crackiug, breaking, go ing down. She felt the water on her face, and tbe station agent pouring ice cold water over her. "She'll be all right in a minute," said Jack, cheerfully. ' Now, Mrs Middleton, with your permission, I'll see you home." She borrowed a hat and cloak from the station ageut's wife. Jim brought up the horses. Jack Spen cer hauded her into the wagon with grave courtesy, and they drove off Some of tho lou-igers dimlv under standing what she had done, looked on curiously. That was all. No fuss, no formal tributes, no spe'ech making even from the two who un derstood. There was no deputation of strong men to tender her tribute, in vqices shaken by sobs. Contrary to all tradition, and un like any hero or heroine who ever saved a train from wreck, she was on the wrong side of tbe bridge, and the people most deeply concerned were nine miles awav. She had little to say on the rida homeward, although Jack Spencer was attentive aud talkative,and tried, as bard as a man could, to show his appreciation of her brave deed. Per haps she was embarrassed in the consciousness of her odd attire, and the curious Looks cast upou her as she rode through the village. Per haps she was secretly ashamed of her mad race, and of the exertional, un womanly, physical prowess that had made it possible, notwithstanding the fact that she had saved many lives. She did not, even invite Jack to coma in when she reached her own door, but descended from the wagon with great dignity, and only relaxed a lit tle when Jack said, very earnestly: "I shall never underrate the value of the physical training for woman again, Mrs. Middleton. Some day I shall beg to put my little daughter under your tutelage." Which was a great concession for Jaek, whose little daughter was the apple of his eye, and whom ho had hitherto oniy looked to making an ac complished woman, of elegant man ners. Neither honor or praise aw'aited Kate in her own home. Bridget scolded her and put her to bed, and declared that she "wild surely catch her death a-cold, an' she deserved it well," and tried to save her from tbe consequences of ber misdeeds at the same time. Of the children, Harry stubbornly resented her base deser tion of them on the bauk of tbe rag ing stream, aud Marian, with her mother's spirit of adventure strong upon her, terrified the household by avowing her intention of going across the water on a tree the first time she could escape parental authority. Tbe mother had her reward, never theless. Late that night, when the children were asleep and Bridget had relaxed guard, Kate escaped from bed aud donning a wrapper and shawl, laid herself down upon the lounge before the open fire, to enjoy scan ning the daily paper. The rain fell steadily without, so steadily that the sound of a horse's hoofs coming up tLe soJieti driveway w:»s scanwl. distinuuish ible from ihe palter of the rain drops. Kute started uj» as sha heard a step outside the door: unother nioiiient and Tom was before her, looking very «oleiun, like a newly materialized phct-t. "Tom?" cried, s-harply, and then she seemed to cower before him: yet u >t before him, but tho horror of tbe afternoon, which again descended upon her and tjok possession of her. Tom, her husband, niiirht have been one of that prizzly tlroQg o:'ma ig e I, crushed, dead and dying phantoms of the might-hive-beoa, ever torturing h'-r mental vision. She pressed her over her ejes, us if they might bur out the si^'hf. 4 Oh, you ought not; you never should do such a thing," she said. Afier all, she had nerves, and they had been sorely tried that dav. "What do you mean?" gravely de manded Tom This was indeed a sorry greeting after all he had been through. "You shouldn't have come home in this unexpected way; yon should let people kno.v when you are com ing." "Kate," said Tom, solemnly, seat iug himself on tbe sola and drawing her down beside him ."you will speak differently when you know hpw near I came to not coming hime at all; I have traveled twelve miles on horse back over a rough mountain road to get here to night. We were just, starting out of I'rescita when we were notified that the bridge three miles below there—six miles above here, Kate—hail been carried away." "How did you find out?" Kate was herself again. There was a lit tle twinkle su her eyes, but her lip i re nib led. "As to that," replied Tom, "re ports are somewhat vague. But all accounts agree it wus a woman. Aud she did wonderful things. Tha bridge tender's wife, I believe. Float ed down stream on a timber, some body said. Started, all dripping for the station, and got there iu an un conscionably short time. Not a min utAo spare. It" it hadn't been for her—oh, it was a wonderful feat, everybody says." ' But how— very unladylike!" said Kake, iu a choked voice, stoop iug to pick up something from the floor. "Unladylike!" cried Tom,excitedly "I tell you, Kate, that was some' thing worth while. Very different from your lawn tennis practice. When a womaa puts her streugth to such a use—and such a strain as it must have been by Jove! Why, Kate I doubt if you could do so much as walk to town and back. But wheu a woman saves two or three hundred lives at one strok-j —: My goodness, Kate, what have you been doing to your foot?" For Mrs. Middleton had unconsci ously pushed tho wounded foot into sight, and its load of bandages, piled up by Bridget's clumsy fingers, aud finished with a red flanuel swathiug, was indeed calculated to strike terror to the beholder. "I—l took a little walk to-day," replied Kate, guiltily, trying to hide the food again beneatti the hem of dress, "but don't let us talk about that, Tom. I'm sorry I seemed queer and cold when you came iu. 1 wasn't feeling well, and you—you looked so. It almost made me shiv er." Like many people who are daunt less iu tho presence of real danger, Kate hatl all ber life beeu shy of praise. If she could have kept the knowledge of her escapade, as she mentally termed it, from her husband she would gladly have done it. But, stupid as he was in some ways, ob tuse as he was, he wa3 not to be put off in this way. He was alrerdy on his knees beside ber. cutting threads, removing pins and undoing cloths, in spite of her protests, until he disclos ed a little foot, purple with bruises and with au ugly gaping cut iu one side. "No wonder you are not yourself to-night. A -little walk!' I should so Kate, what hayc you been up to now?" "I bad on my slippers," confessed the culprit, "and—there wasn't time to chaDge them. Let it alone, Tom. It'll be all right to morrow " "A little walk!" persisted Tom, "Great Ca-sar, Kate, you are not to be trusted alone any more that a two year old babe; I'll never dare to go off and leave you again." "If I hadn't taken my little walk, you—you—you mightn't have had the chance!" cried poor Kate, corner ed at last. "My soul!" cried Tom, a light dawning upon him at last. "It was you!" I think he kissed the little lame, bruised feet. lam afraid he did a great many foolish things and hum bled himself most lamentably to show his love for his brave young wife, his pride in her, and his contrition. There was a purse made up by the passrngers on the overland traiu that fateful day, to reward the plucky woman who had saved them from such a frightful dissaster, but they were never able to find her out. The station master and-Jack Spencer kept their secret well Tbe only subscrip tion that ever reached its destination was Tom Middleton's. His wife wife sometimes wears a very ugly bracelet set with a couple of very large aud pouderous gold coins Wheu people question her about it she replies that it is a medal Tom once awarded her for a race she won It is generally understood that she refers to some rowing ma'ch or horseback ride, there are boats on the pond now, saddle-horses in Tom's stable, and a tennis-court ou tho lawn. But even as she answers Kate «ces again the railroad train, with its precious living freight, thundering on to destruction, and a woman, bare-headed, wild eyed, with draggled dress and bleeding feet, rac ing desperately across a rough coun try. iu a mad efl irt to avert the im pending danger Th?. Argonaut. EH'octs or Tarifl' Agitation. Tariff League bulletin,] We call the attention of business men to last week's report of lirad strerVx Commercial Agency, in which it says that "iaviewof the pos sibility of wool being placed on tbe free list no buy injj for future con sumption is anticipated. A great deal of woolen machinery is idle for repairs and orders." The tariff agitation is responsible, according to this, ir tho stagnation aud depression in tho wool trade Xoi one will accuse a commercial ag ency of misrepresenting facts for pol- I it -al purposes . A NIGHT MAKE. What's this I see, what can it be, Oh, teli me nui I dreaaiia^* Ji*» getting uearer, plainer, clearer. Its hideous lace an i eyes aie gleaming. Is what 1 feel, I wonder, real ? Ou sar; let IU/ hur I kick, I shout, go way, eel out. But still lis staudiu j there. At last I leap froin troubled sleep Vail what do you tiiirik I saw? "Get out c.l l>»d you lazy lira I" Si-reamed my ' M »ther-iii-l*w." SA.VI'MU It,;, July 1 NM. T. V. SIIITII NEWSPAPER HUMOR. [WRITTEN WITH A SIX DOLLAR I'AIR OF SIIKARS.] • Wanted—A plain cook," reads an advertisement. Wouiler whoso wife put that in tbe paper ? Tbe passion for antiquities is on tbe increase, but old ladies are not appreciated more highly thaa ever. Neither are nuthors iu law. "Papa," said his little girl, aged six years and niuc months, "Why do you say sujKiaiighur ? Is it be cause'she has boeu trodden upon f The fashion editor wrote: "Boas are fashionable amongyoung ladies," but the iuiehigeut compositor bad it tbe next day, "Boys are,"etc. It is a singular fact that a man who is secoud 111 command at home always wants to rule the whole of creation when be gets outside bis yarii gate. "lie seems to have been shot in the diaphragm." said tbe doctor. "Oh, iic!" exclaimed the weeping wife, "he was shot iu the lower eud of the saloon." The editor of an Illinois daily pa per says that he does not depend up on journalism for his daily bread, but raises liens. Wonder whose heas he "raises." There is one reason why type-set ting machines ought to become very popular with editors. They cannot yell copy. Home Sentinel. Nor the devil take it. New York has a "Female Bible Society." Female Bibles may pos sess some advantages over tbe old Bibles, but we doubt it. Sex in the Scripture is all wrong. A writer iu an Irish newspaper, af ter mentioning the wreck of a vessel near Skerries, rejoices that all tbe crew was saved,except four hogsheads of molasses. Whiskey is an antidote for snake bites, and when a Texas man sits on a prickly pear all the argument on earth wont persuade him that a snake didn't bite him, "We want an impetus!" shouts a contemporary. Somebody should place an inverted tack on his chair. It goes right to the spot every time; aud no impetus, no pay. Mr. Husrg of Morristown is con stantly alilicted by the girls of his vi cinity who insist on remarking when ever they sec him, "Go away, sir! I shan't do it, you ridiculous creaturo." A farmer writes to the local news paper complaiuing of tbe low price of dairy produca, and adds—"it doesn't pay for the wear and tear of the hen. The price of eggs is ridiculous." "We had short-cake for tea,'" said a little girl to a neighbor's boy with whom she was talking through the fence. "So did wo," he answered; "very short—so very short it didn't go round." A negro was put upon the stand as a witness, and the judge inquired if he understood the nature of an oath. "For certing, boss," said the citizen; "if I swears to a lie I must stick to him." "Ma thinks a great deal of you, I fancy," said a little to a physi cian. "Why do you fancy that, my child ?" "Because I heard hor say she thought you wasn't near so big a fool as that other old humbug. Mrs. Shoddy's views are interest ing to those thinking of keeping a carriage. She says she has thought it all over, and come to the con elusion that brooches are al most too large, and that these 're coupons are too shut up, but that a nice, pony phantom is just the thing. Won a Wager. A wager of a silk hat once cost many lives It was iu 1811, Cap tain Decatur, of the United States Navy, commander of the frigate United State-?, met Captain Carden, of the British Navy, commanding the Macedonia. It was just prior to the war of ISI2, and while talking about tho chances, Carden said to Decatur: "If you and I ever meet ofter hos tilities are declared, I'll bet you a silk hat that the Macedonia will cap ture the Uuited States." "I'll bet you a silk hat you don't," was the reply. The two lrigatos met on October 2">, 1812 and after a bloody fight, the English flag was lowered. Decatur hastened on board the prize, aud Cardjn tendered his sword. "1) n your sword, Carden," said Decatur, "i bet you a silk hat, aud as we'ro a long way from a bat ter, Ultake the one you wjar." The hat was given. Coming Elections. There are no longer October elec tions in pivotal States to indicate or in 11 lie nee the vote for President iu November. There are, however, (six States that will hold elections prior to the November election Tennessee elects a G jvornor on Thursday, the 21 of August. Alabama has its biennial election on the (ir.-.t M uday in September. Next comes tho Vermont electiou on tbe first Tuesday in September. Maine follows with an election on the second .Monday of September. Georgia, the only October State, has its eletion on the first Wednesday of that mouth. —The oldest registered voter in Cincinnati is David Fisher, who al though 'J I years of age, in iu excellent health, lie cast his first vote for Henry Clay for President in 1832. —An "inr:h ofraiu" means a gallon of water spread ovor a surface of : nearly two square feet, or a fall of about 100 tons oa an acre of ground. Editor Dana's Rules on Journal ism. Charles A. Dana, editor of UM N't* York Sun, delivered so address re cently st tbe Acsdemj of Ma«te to the Wisconsin Editorial Association. Tbe hall wse crowded aad tbe veter an editor's discourse wss warmly tp p landed. lie eaid tbst, sa compared to Eu rope, America waa far in ad vanes. In tbe whole of tbe British Islsada tie re were not more than bait a dosea papers which wonld compare with those of this country. The saaM criticism held good in regard to tbe newspapers of Germany. There tbe papers were remote trom tbe psoplt; here tbe press was close to tbe peo ple. Tbe atmosphere of freedom wsa essential to tbe production of greet newspapers. A distinction sboold be made between American and Eu ropean definitions of freedom, la France the daily paper woo Id l*re one well-written essay, bot tbe re mainder of tbe sheet wonld be Iliad with matter which in America woald be considered itnmaterial. Tbe news paper must furnish the information tbe people desire or it will baa fail ure. Tbe first thing looked for wss news, and by tbst word tbe spasker meant anything which wonld inter est tbe people. In this connection bo said tbst whatever Divine Providence permitted to occnr be was not too proud to report it. [Applause and laughter, j Tbe speaker did not think a college course iu journalism wonld be of much value. The one school was tbe newspaper office, snd without it LO man conld oecoiue a thorough journalist. | Applause and voices "that's so "J RU L.KB FOR JOURNALISTS. There sre no set nisxims snd rules for journalists. Tbe doctor sol the lawyer might have rnles, bot there were very few rules tbst conld be us ed by newspaper men. Mr. Dans, however submitted tbe following: First—Get the news, and get all the news, and nothing but tbe news. Second—Copy nothing from an other publication without perfect credit. Third—Neyer print an interview without tbe knowledge and consent ot tbe party interviewed. [Laughter and applause ] Fourth —Never print a paid adver tisement as news matter. [ Laughter] Let every advertisement appear ae an advertisement, no sailing under false colors. [Applause.] Fifth—Never attack the weak or tho defenceless, either by argument, by invective, or by ridicnle, unless there is some absolute public neces sity for so doing. Sixth—Fight for your opinions, but don't believe they contain the wbole truth, or tbe only truth. Seventh — Support your party, if you have one [loud laughter ana ap plause], but don't think all tbe good men are in it, and all the bad ones outside of it. [Laughter.] Eighth—Above all, know and be lieve that humanity is advancing,and that there is progress in human life and human affairs [applause], and that as sure as God lives the foture will bo greater and better than tbe present. [Applause] "That," said Mr. Dana, "is a pretty general code, bot it Beems to me it covers tbe case very well." Victory on the Pacific Slope. Hon. M. M. Estee, of California, chairman qf tbe Notification Commit tee, speaks confidently of Republi can victory on tbe Pacific slope. He said in an interview : Oregon has clearly shows the at titude of tbe Pacific slope upon this matter. The truth is simply that our people can do no other way than support the Republican ticket. Al most all our industries are protected by tbe tariff. Von might fairly say that California produces nothing that is not protected by the tariff. It is the only State in tbeUnion that raises raisins and competes with tbe Malaga supply of that article. It is tbe only State that coofctantly produced any aruouut of prunes, upon which, I be lieve, there is a tariff of two centa a pound. It is the only State which produced olive oil and the only one that pro luces any great amount of borax, and on all of these things thero is a tariff; and there is ons thing worth observing in this con nection, and that is, tbst notwith standing the tariff on sll these things —on prunes, for example, of two or two and one-half cents a pound— -they are cheaper than they were before tbe tariff was put on them and tbey were compelled to come into compe tition with American enterprise. The foreign dealers formerly charged double as much and their profits were doubly greater tbsn they are now." "What about tbe wool interests?'* That, of course, is one of tbe great industries of our State and tboae en gaged in it will have a great deal to do in sharing the profita of tbe Com monwealth, but it is no greater or more important than tbe fruit-grow ing interests." "Your State seems to receive tbe nomination of General Harrisoa with great enthusiasm." "Yes, sir; the nomination of General Harrison pleases tbe California people, and it pleases tbe American people. His popularity will grow tbe more tbe people learn of him. Tbe enthusi asm for him is already greater thaa I expected, although I was a Harrison mau after Blaine. Tbe talk about tbe Chinese question is idle.* That question is settled." Things to Think About. Did Mr. Cleveland say, aa be is al leged to have said: "I believe in free trade as I believe in the Protectant religion?" If so, wLat did be mean by it ? Speaker Carlisle is afraid to meet Major McKinley in a tariff discussion. That is tbe plain, simple truth of tbe whole business. Mr. Csrlisie baa never made a finer exhibition of statesmanlike discretion. Did William L Scott say, as be is alleged to have said: "We (tbe cap italists) can control workiogmen only so long as he eats up to-day what he earns to-morrow Tbe Honorable Orange Noble, of Erie, a neighbor and until this year alwaya a Democrat, declares that Colonel Scott said that very thing. Colonel Scott bns tbe floor, and he must take it or confess himself floored. —The Dominion has no gold coins and iu silver and copper currency la made in England. NO. 29