VOL XX V.
-*<-7 * S)1 IA I. New V ik Hut th.it cotaljiiii s
" / \ all i: '/iifiil points ol s- v> nil sen ptatiV
- !>•-:_ : -IK' nit all face* It is
If i • » to et i-ryoii'-. i
Cow* in all tL • different Straws and the
- rf f liarißtngUfiv sprit-. oi.l is, Saj." Grc-'ii Gobo
,%*' ■_
them are the "K.M.Q." ;;rni the • Bunny."
"ThE WfATCHLES J," 'i 5e :•• IDS to e .... iiiit r< —II-JJ that i» ran ■••
v.- are i -.ir* »;/«•«' i.\ tl-c : :Mi!onal>le people,we
d..i. tu. • i \ 4-a»r i« rar»» for !!,««•• wi,. »<• i> •, k t )•« s .r- 1 limited, Tbtel a great mistake.
Willi*, i r.„- <;!•) SKI. i'.v brtvlrir tl.e 1< in of the fashion: t»le women, to make special efforts to j
!«■ <\>•!•- ■r 1 ;.• iii, >i think we can suit !•.<_• t -te and in LIL- i-f anyone, tiowevcr odd tlie taste, :
or limited tL<* meant. •
Just:*.- .<! » ■•: i.EU \ I'iTH. To • i."v. w> hav d n »•■ s-.ty uotUlii'.;. Tlieir o.ve |
u-lu_- I* t«- -<• a'v.a;.s. To i I ' -.i r tri dit we say, "protir by the experience of
many at 1 try H.
Miss M. H.Gilkey,
New Bulking, No. 62 S. Main St. TIIE LEADING MILLINER
Give us Your Attention
■s • -bn v i iatti.fr in s« an-li of fcarjralns. Yoi: ap al'Ottf to invest in some of
tl«-Ax r ri<":|lural li(!!'i< in'r -. li-ti've found n\ rl • am'st to buy the 1 < i.
«i-. .a.; - . ■ will Mr. wi.ei • you get that lie < nearest. Cotitess that
.. i v.- ... ■: "i" i ii"\ .•> soinc dealers and di<l not Ilk' 1 them. Read too much
llkeetreu-. 1)11 ix.
Voi:"i le ani of the e'IIAMPION M ".vi rs. I: mrs and Bind. w ? Then
•' a . i>' a die] p Mi- bent In the World. We've jjot them so elieap that you
levitate u*n nitmn-s if you come a round. Vou know tie- tnertls of
fif I'errj SprliK T*tli H<r; ow and the iraliati ins that ate on the market.
We Lai tl.e genuine, and it you need a good harrow, we n coiMin iid it.
>ii i •e.. u■- it't l.iiow that vi sell more Novelty I'imip:. iron force,
i IS. i; . tl,;.ti ail tie- ii.'ij i ■ :re iirins ci ISu'le,- put together. We do
f"'.- around and look at our stoek. Yoall learn somethlntr. We
• oih<>rtUih'<s too: Ji Haven Stov*. s and Itan,—-., Kiasile
raiuts. ready mixed.
'•••ti'Titl Hardware. Wire Screens. Patent Chums, etc. our stoek is not
ey eiied in the touniy and we cannot be undersold.
JACKSOX Gv M ITCH ELI,,
What You Eat!
I< the most iniportant consideration ol' your l'fe, and much ol
our >'l health ia due to the careful and conscientious grocer.
We buv the hest in tlie market, select all our goods
with the greatest <-: ire. and claim to have as good a stock ol
Groceries as can be found anywhere.
We want your trade and invite you to try our Flours,
Suirars, Ooifces, Canned Fruits, Dried Fruits. Spices, Hams,
Canned Meats, Crackers, Confectioneries, Tropical Fruits,
Nuts, or anything in our store room.
Country Produce a specialty, and all new fruits and veg
etables in season
In our China Hall, in the second story of our building,
we have the lar_Vf* stock of Chinaware, < i lass ware, Crockery,
Lumps and Fancy Goods in the town.
Give us a trial, highest maiket price allowed for produce.
C. KOCII & SONS,
KflIN ST.. - - BUTLER, PA.
JACOB BOOS,
DEALER IN
CHOICE FAMILY GROCERIES,
FLOUR, Fi;tiU HAY AND ALL KINDS OF GR.VI N.
\V. are now in our new store-room on S. Main St.. and
have the room to accommodate our large stock ofgrcceries,
ilour,«:c.. ami have built a large ware-house to accommodate
our stuck of feed.
We p;sv the highest cash price for potatoes and all kinds ol
COUNTRY PRODUCE,
Tflr-oli Riwk 105 S. MAIN STREET,
J(tlttl) IJtltts, Butler, Pa.
"Nothing Succeeds Like
Success!"
WHY V
BECAUSE LOCK at cur SUCCESS in BUTLZR
Then Look Back 3o Years
When We Commenced,
Now Look at the "W ay We Do
Our Business,
THE 3 REASON HOW CAN it be OTHERWISE ?
WIIEN \V K CA}{ltY TIJE STOCK WE I) 0
=THE Mill ■
And Most Coinjilete in Butler, ranging in Quality and price
from the Cheapest to the Finest, all Reliable, Well Made
(it,< ds, besides \i*i tee all we sell
Call and be Gonvin^ed,
11. SCHNEIDEMAN,
No- 4, Main St. OLD RELIABL CLOTHIER.
Bargaxs in Watches,
Clocks,
Jewelry
And Silverware.
Finest stork of Sterling Silverware in thr county,
and at prices not to lie .'quailed for cash.
Watches and Clocks repaired and warranted, at
J. 11. QRIEB'S
iN"o. 10 Hont U St. s fSiga of ELECTRIC BELL);
Sutler, 1'; v.
/ S V J r ~f T~ A V"
■ fe, A,.. . «L_ Ml JL S — lai _-<3b~. _>iiik- JL .A
MOTHER'S GRAVE.
F<>n TJlii CITIZEX.]
The i'ro>:< of dreary winters throe
Have robed in white my luother's sjrave:
They seem like »scs now to me,
Hrj-je back toiiust and earth we gave
The mother Airni we loved so well,
More than our pea our tongues can tell.
A hillside where the tun beam lingers
All through the sunny summer days,
'Neath flowers kept by loving fingers,
Mv detirling angel mother lies;
No -cuiid disturbs the quiet >-pot
Where blooms the swoet - .ne-not.
Oh' how I'd love that spot to see,
For sacred is the toil that keeps
A mother doubly dear to me
Within its chilly bosotn sleeps.
Oh, just to bathe that s<<d with tears
Where mother's siept these last three
years. T. V. SMITH.
SAXON* ut !'.<■, July 15,1858.
Eurania's Boys and How They
Kept House,
(MAUtJARET SIDNEY IN WIDE AWAKE )
Continued from la*t week,
"All Now lot's find that
quarter. Norah ue?er'd thiuk to look
tor it again."
The brothers were on their knees
investigating the carpet turface when
the door beli was pulled violently,
bringing up the two heads suddenly
10 a listening position.
"There now, see what you've
done," cried Chris, "you've brought
that old burgltir back. Now we'll
be mnrdertii.ond iLe folks and .-pooas
all tt;ken."
"He can't murder us if we don't
open the door," said Julian, bhaking
dreadfully under his blouse.
"But he'll hang round here all
nigi.t, and break in and kill us in our
beds," said Chris with cheerful deter
mination.
"lie won't. I shan't go to bed,"
said Julian.
"Well, he'll get in—they always
do if they make up their minds," said
Chrir, "so we'll be killed and the
fork- and spoons Uiken just as I said,
delighted to see ujat Julian was at
ia?t growing white around the
mouth.
Meanwhile the bell was at inter
vals pealing violently. At last a
paculiar whistle close to the door,
brought the brothers to their feet.
"It's the boys!" declared Chris,
springing to answer the call. "I
was just going to say so."
"Of, course,"gasped Julian, rush
ing after, "so was I"—as Chris turn
ed the key, Hung wide the door, and
five or six boys tumbled unceremo
niously in,
"Goodness! I rang sixteen times,"
said one.
"What's the matter with your old
bell? 1 ' cried another, "we were just
going oIT if yo.u hadn't come."
"We haven't got any cook or sec
ond girl," answered Chris calmly,"so
there isn't any one to go to the
door."
"Yes, and father and mother, and
Charlotte are away," cried Julian in
a burst with the best of the news.
"Are you sure Charlotte is gone?"
cried one boy doubtfully.
"Hi—what a lark!"eried the others
"Do ask us to stay all ni&ht," begged
one boy.
Chris and Julian started with de
light. "Indeed we do. Oh,do stay!"
Now if the burglar should come, all
would be well, each brother reflect
ed.
"I'll run home now antl ask my
mother."
"Step in at my house, Jack, that's
a good fellow, and tell my folks I'm
going to stay over night at the Steb
hinteß."
"All right." Jack dispatched him
self in a trice.
"No use to ask pa—l'm to be home
at r.ine," said another boy dism ally,
"I tit !'i! hxrk it till that time,"he add
ed, brightetiing up
"That's my hour," said the other
two boys.
"Now, Chris, what are you going
to do first?"
"First," said Chris, with the air of
deep experience, "you want some
thing to eat," and he led the way to
the jam closet
"We'll get the spread ready for
Jack and Claud," cried tho others,
joyfully ransacking the jars and
glasses of the satrrid precincts.
"I've found a prize," announced
Tedd Jones, running in from the hall
where he had gone for the handker
chief in his coat pocket. "Anybody
lost a quarter?"
"Yes, it's ours; that is, it belongs
to the house; we were junt looking
for it when you came," cried Julian,
•'give it here."
"It's mine: I'm the oldest." said
Chris, dropping a pot of strawberry
jam like a coal.
"'Tis't my fault that I'm the
youngest," growled Julian, "and I'm
going to have some of the good
things, lfyou don't hand that quar
ter oyer here, Ted Jones, I'll putch
your head."
And Tedd preferred to relinquish
the twenty-five cents, which .Julian
immediately pocketed and swelled up
and down the room like a million
aire.
"You've got to give it back just as
soon as mother gets home, so what
go'.d will it do you?" said Chris with
a provoking laugh.
"I'll keep it till then anyway," de
clared Julian, jingling it in his pock
et against his knife, "and mother'll
Kay 'Jveep it, Julie,' i know she
will."
Chris' face fell anxiously. He knew
too. "It's mean of you, when you
know I need a quarter awfully."
"Bo do I," said Julian with not a
trace of pity. "I owe ten cents to
Tom Hungerford, six cents to the
tally man, and five cents to that old
show of Fete Ilayes—he wouldn't
let me in till I'd promised to pay as
soon as I'd got any money—and ten
cents to our I>. Y, K. Society tax;
ariv I'm going to spend the rest as I
like,"
A shout greeted this. "How much
are going to have left,"' cried Chris,
"after you ve paid up?"
'J haven't paid yet,' said Julian
with a red face, aghast as he realized
the extent of his indebtedness, "keep
still, you fellows, it's none of your
affair."
"I shall tell Pete and Tom and tl.e
tnlTy man and the treasurer of I). V.
K. that you've got money coming to
you, so they'll swoop on it," said
Chris, his cheerfulness returning as
he saw this pleasure in store, and he
returned to his strawberry jam with
renewed vigor.
"I'll spend it first," cried Julian
savagely.
"Then you'll be arrested for debt,"
tai l another boy, "if you've got mon
ey and won't pay, and we'll all tell
| on vou."
i Thus stung. Julian ran fcis .hand
into his jacket pocket, and pulling
out his lately-acquired treasure, flung
it over the table at Chris. "Take it,
then; now you've got to pay up your
debts."
"I haven't got any,'' said Chris,
seizing the money, "paid 'em ytster
da}; Charlotte gave me fifteen cents
just before she went, 'cause she shook
me for telling Mi*. Bacon that she said
his brother Fowler danced like a gir
affe "
"Charlotte didn't me any fifteen
cents," cried Julian with an envious
howl.
"Well, she didn't shake ycu, did
she?" demanded Chris, "that's the
difference; I earned it. She was
afraid she'd get killed on the railroad,
I s'pose."
The other boys now returning
with the announcement, "All right,
we're going to stay all night," priv
ate discussions were dropped to give
undivided attention to the feast.
About eleven o'clock four sleepy
boys crept up stairs. Chris and Julian
bearing the lire shovel and tongs, for
what purpose, they did not say. But
in the middle of the night the visit
ors found out, for a terrible clattering
awoke them from the uneasy slum
bers into wuich the feast had plunged
them.
"What is it?" they cried, sitting
erect iu the middle of Mrs. Stebbins'
best bed, from which the spotless
spread and stiff pillow-shams had
slipped in a heap to the floor. "Chris
—J u-li-au!"
'T guesss I'm big enough to take
care of a burglar!" cried Julitin strut
ting iu, wearing night-robes as pom
pously as a Romau ever sported his
toga. "You couldn't haye driven
'em oil", Chris Stebbins, with all your
bragging. There were three of 'em "
"What have you done?" cried
Chris, who had jumped out of bed at
the frightful noise, and running in
from their room across the hall.
"Flung the tongs down stairs,"
said Julian promptly, with another
flourish of the toga.
"Flung the tongs down stairs?"
repeated Jack, while Chris gasped
"Did you really see him?"
Julian pretended not to hear this
question; but after his brother had
carefully locked the door, he proceed
ed to e-xtort by means he knew very
well bow to employ, the information
desired, so that at last it came. "No,
but I heard 'em as plain as day, they
were coming up stairs—l've scared
'em off."
"I don' believe a word of it," cried
the two visitors, hopping out of bed.
"I'm going to look over the banisters
and see." Which they did, first light
ing the gas at the top of the stairs.
"Mee-ew—mee-ew"—aud then a soft
purring, and a pat pat over the hall
matting—and a big maltesc with the
air of a pe f , ran iu between thoir feet,
to the two brothers waiting within
the guest room.
"Pbob! it's the cat!" roared Claude
doubling up—"Jule Stebbins, flung
your tongs dowu stairs at the cat.
Hoh-hob!"
It seemed to Julian as if they
never would get through with their
amusement. At last Jack peered
again down stairs. "I see something
white on tho floor—it's all in little
bits. You've smashed something,
J ule Stebbins!"
At that all four boys ran down,
while tho cat jumped up into the mid
dle of the deserted bed and rolled her
self into a sleepy ball.
"It's mother's big royal Worcester
vase," said Chris iu tones of horror.
"You've knocked it off the bracket.
Oh—oh!"
Julian's eyes were wild with fright,
and he collapsed on tha lowest stair.
"And all because you got BO scar
ed. If I were you, 1 wouldn't get up
to fling tongs at a cat. But then
you're so little." Christopher finished,
stragbteuiug up his slim figure at
least a head taller than his unfortun
ate! younger brother.
The destruction of all the royal
Worcester vases in the world could
not quench the fury that now posses
sed Julian. He arose from his col
lapse, aud advanced with hard little
lists, aud a desire for satisfaction in
his eye, on his brother.
"You've called me little, twice,"
he said, with bated breadth, "now
come on aud see if I can't whip you."
"I'm not going to tight in my night
gown," said Chris with a superb air
of knowing the rules of an honorable
encounter.
"Aud nonsense to you!" cried
Claude and Jack each seizing
an arm of the would-be-valiant,
"we're all going back to bed. Here,
give us a hand, Chris, and pitch this
fellow up stairs."
So instead of exhibiting a splendid
prowess to turn the spectators green
with envy, Julian was hustled sum
marily up stairs, and amid much
laughing, tumbled unceremoniously
into his bed, to reflect on his woes,
the chief of which was, to use his
own words, "that he wasn't big
enough to whip those three chaps
out of sight."
"But I'll do it some day," he said
savagely burrowing into his pillow.
The consequence wa3, the next
morning he overslept. Chris, slip
ping out softly, his shoes iu his hand,
caught a hasty breakfast, with the
two guests, left the kitchen door un
locked for Peter the indoor man to get
in, aud the three departed, Jack and
Claude turning off at the corner
while he ran on in the direction of
Trcmont street.
"Say—where is the nearest intelli
gence office?" he asked a policeman
down by the Common.
That city official pointed with his
thumb up the thoroughfare. "There's
a plenty, and on Washington street
too. I don't know the numbers "
And he hurried off to help an old
woman over the crossing. •
"I'll take Tremont street first,"
said Chri3 to himself, "aud wherever
it looks good, I'll go iu," which reso
lution he carried out to fiml himself
face to face with a frowsy girl raising
a furious dust in sweeping out a long
room.
"You're too early," said the girl
leaning on her broom, to look at him
when he preferred his request.
"They hain't come iu. But you can
sit flown and wait," indicating a set
tee against the windows.
"No, I can't wait," said Chris,
feeling a ejualm at the strange odors,
anil wondering if his mother ever en
joyed the delights of these mysteri
ous regions that turned out readv
mude cooks ami maids. "\ r ou scud
up a cook, a good one, as soon as you
can, to 53(1 Poplar Avenue"—and ho
buttoned up his coat quite like a man.
BUTLER. PA.. FRIDAY, JULY 27.1888
"I'll write that down," said the
; giri, dropping her broom "Miss
Higgins'll tend to it. What's the
name?" and she went over to the ta
bie, and began laborious work with a
stubby pen.
"Mr. Ezra Stebbins' house. 536
Poplar Avenue."
"Ail right," said the girl, wiping
the pen on her thumb nail.
"Send her right up,'' said Chris
with an important air as he went out.
"Phew! i wish I'd eateu more break
fast."
As Julian was still esieep, Chris
shut the bedroom door gently and
went down stairs very much elated
with his work, to wait for the cook.
About nine o'clock a person as thin as
Ann her predecessor had been fat, rang
the front door bell, and presented a
dingy paper on which Miss Higgins
gave her all the possible and impossi
ble virtues and graces of womankind
"You can go dowu to the kitchen,"
said Chris ignoring the paper and
pointing to the basemeut stairs.
"Where's the laiy?" asked the
person with survey of as much of the
interior as she could manage.
"What?" asked Chris.
"The lady—your mother— boy?"
said the new cook, bringing her gaze
to his countenance. "I'd like to see
her."
"She's coming," said Chris quickly.
" You go along down to the kitchen
and begin work " And though as
tonished at herself, the thin woman
felt her way over the stairs and enter
ed the cook's domains, Chris wisely
lettiug her have that pleasure alone.
"She can find out the work by her
self," he said, "a woman always does,
now I'll go to school."
Julian, in the midst of an exciting
dream of knocking down three wild
men of the desert with a table-caster,
v, as at last rudely shaken to con
sciousness by a hand that was not
satisfied with its work until the boy
sat erect and stared at her.
"For the love of the Yirgin,
sphake," cried the figure, "and till
ine what does tbismaiie?"
" I don't know," said Julian, as
much in the dark as she was.
"Leave your hands off me," he com
manded crossed, and shaking him
self free.
"Where is the bigger b'hoy?" ask
ed the woman, "aud the lady? I've
beeu all over this house, and the
ghost of a person,' crossing herself,
"can I find at all—at all. Is't crazy
yees all are?"
"You'll find out," declared Julian
in a passion, "if you don't leave me
alone and clear out," which seeing
that it was ail she was likely to get,
the woman proceeded to do, and only
pausing on her way down stairs, to
pick up Mrs. Stebbins' gold thimble,
probably as an amulet to preserve
her from the general witchcraft into
which she had unluckily fallen, she
hastily got out of the house and
as soon as possible into
Miss Iliggios' astonished precincts,
where she related to the assembled
domestics by this time gathered, her
experience in the house 530 Poplar
Aveuue, all which strange account
speedily went dowu in the annals as
a warning to respctable females with
unimpeachable testimonials as to
character, against such a crazy locali
ty.
Chris running home from school,
delighted with hi 3 executive ability,
rubbed his eyes to see a cab before
the door, and a trunk marked C. R.
S. on the rack. Yes, it surely was
Charlotte's. There was the scraped
place on the top where he had tried
his new knife; he should know it
among a thousand. W hat could it
mean?
He soon found out, as Charlotte
was just descending the cab-step.
"The children broke out with the
measles." she said not pausing in the
act of paying the cabman. "Take
the trunk up into the upper hall."
"Mother's gone to Portlad," an
nounced Chris, "Aunt Batty's sick "
"Is she?" said Charlotte coolly
She was a wholly composed young
lady under all circumstances with
which life life confronted her. "Well,
here she cornea now."
Chri3 whirled, to see, emerging
from the horse-car at the corner, his
mother and her weli-kuowa bag.
He gave a feeble gasp, and waited
till she came up.
"So ends my preparations for a
nice time," observed Charlotte after
the first greetings were over, "all
because those stupid children must
needs have the measles now."
"O Charlotte !" cried her mother
iu dismay. "Well, I've beeu on a
fool's errand too. Aunt Betty had
only a fit of the nerves, and Fanuy
was scared to death, and pulled me
off from my work." This last was
said as the two women ascended the
steps.
Charlotte stooped and picked up a
letter. "From father," she said, pas
sing it on to her mother. "I didn't
know he'd gone to New York."
"He hasn't," said her mother care
lessly taking the letter.
"Look at that," said Charlotte,
who never made statements that
could not be provetl. So now she
triumphantly pointed to a printed
line in one corner—'Ezra Stebbins,
Counselor at Law'—and it's post
mark 'New York'; see for yourself,
ma."
"Goodness!" exclaimed Mrs, Steb
bins, setting down her bag on the up
per step and tearing open her letter,
"what does it mean?"
"I should like to kuow why Norah
does not answer this bell," said Char
lotte, with another pull.
"I'll let you in," said Chris, accom
plishing the."Steps, and cpeedily put
ting his latch-key to use, and forget
ting to enter himself.
HOFFMAN HOUSE, 11 30 p.m.
"DEAR WIFE"—Mr. Stebbins' let
ter ran—"Have seen Ilarkins Shall
get through sooner than I thought.
Cousin Eliot and wife unexpectedly
ran over in the (Jej)halonia; got iu
to-day, and are at this hotel. Shall
bring them up with me to-morrow'
for a little visit. We will take the
four-thirty train.
Your alf. husband,
E STEBBINS."
Mrs. Eurania looked at Charlotte,
and Charlotte calmly returned the at
tention. No words came, till a voice
pealed over the staircase, ' I'll tell
you, I know ull about it. Chris is
the one to catch it, and there's been a
crazy woman here; she's just gone
out, and I don't waut to keep house
again."
Mrs. Eurania Stebbins found it
impossible for some unexplained rea
son t», get a domestic from any intel
ligence office to enter her service.
As soon as they heard the address,
53fi Poplar Avenue,they mildly shook
their heads and declined the great
privilege, and thus wuitiug till the
smart girl* lroni the country could
be hired, she h id the felicity of divid
ing with Charlotte, the housework
and the entertainment of the English
relatives.
"There ought to be, ma," said that
young person onfe evening (the law
yer had just escorted the visitors to
the Hotel Yictoria to a dinuer at
which the two housekeepers were too
to tired preseut themselves in proper
hotel dress,) "a place provided w r here
a family suddenly called out of towu,
could lock up its boys for safe keep
ing, until the heads of the household
got back. If I were rich, I'd start
one, and open it formally by entering
Chris and Julian "
Mrs. Eurania, with her household
wrecks, looked up. "liut it was hard
for the poor things, and I can't blame
them," she said stoutly.
'•There— Charlotte ar-!" cried
two voices triumphantly out in the
hall'.
Female Prize Fighters.
Two well dressed young women
and several men met at the restaurant
of Napoleon Prenevan in Buffalo,
recently, to make arrangements for a
prize fight. The principals were
Hattie Leslie, who is doing a swing
ing club act in a variety theater, and
Alice Leary, a serio comic. The ar
ticles of agreement signed are of fol
lows:
We hereby agr<# to fight a fair
stand-up prize fight with skin tight
gloves according to London prize ring
rules, to take place between August
23 and 27, place to be agreed on
August 20 the fight to be for SSOO a
| side and the championship of the
j world. The fight is to take place
withiu 100 miles of Buffalo. Half
the stakes are herewith posted, the
remainder to be put up August 20.
Hatiie Leslie is 20 years old, 5
feet 7 inches tall, weighs 180 pouuds
and is muscular and well developed.
She is a boxer of unusual ability, and
has knocked out some pretty fair
boxers in practice. She is a good
looking brunette and docs not louk
tough. Hattie has been in athletic
training since she was a child. Alice
Leary is six feet tall, 24 years old,
weighs 180 pounds, and is also a bru
nette. She is very bandy with her
fists, and is quarrelsome. She has
not as much science as her opponent,
but is more of a slugger, ller backer
is Jack Kehoe, a Bradford sport.
She will be trained by Kchoe and
Charley Dywer, and is to be put
through a regular course.
Hattie Leslie will not go
into traiuing immediately, as
her club swinging reejuires that she
keep in good physical condition.
The First Harrison Campaign.
Atlanta Constitution.]'
To describe the excess and enthu
siasm of that day is impossible. On
one occasion, in Tennessee, Parson
Brownlow straddled the roof of a
cabin while on its journey, with a
coonskin in one hand, which he was
pretending to eat, and in the other a
cupful of hard cider. When asked
what he was doiug, he replied in a
blasphemous vien, that he was par
taking of the Whig sacrament. When
ever the procession would reach u
place where there was but a wagon
track in the woods, hundreds of men
would cut away the trees so that ihe
cabin might pass through. One of
the best public roads in Pike County,
Alabama, is said to owe its existence
to work done on an occasion like this.
A good story is told of the log cabin
which did duty for the VVhigs of Mus
cogee county. A party of Democrats
asserted that the cabin was but sev
enteen feet square. This was indig
nantly disputed by the Whigs, who
knew that it was eighteen. A bet of
SSOO was made, and next day was
designated for taking the measure
ment. Late that night the Demo
crats went out to where the cabin
was standing, and taking it to pieces,
cut off all the timbers just one foot,
and by rubbing the new ends with
mud, gave them an old appearance.
The logs where then carefully laid
back in place, and no one would
know that the cabin had ever been
touched. It was not until after the
election that the Wigs found out how
it was that they lost their money.
He Used to he a Boy Himself.
The other day a show came to
Little Bock, and was_ shamefully im
posed upon by Uncle Isom, While
stauding near the tent he saw a crowd
of low-spirited boys grieving on ac
count of finaucial depression.
"Does you youngsters want to go
in de show ?" he asked.
The boys all responded iu a noisy
chorus.
"Well, come on, den. I uster be a
chile myself, an' unlike do ruos' men,
I hain't forgot it. Count dose boys,"
he added, addressing the doorkeeper.
The man bewail counting, and by the
time tho boys had passed in Isom was
walking around talking to acquaint
ances from the plantations.
"Here." said the showman, "give
me twenty tickets."
"I doau owe yer no tickets, and I
doan owe yer money. I didn't tell
yer to pass de boys; I said count 'em.
I always heard that showmen is good
on 'rithmetic, an' I wanted to satisfy
myself. You say dat dere was
twenty boys; I doan 'spute yer word
kase I ain't no mathematician.
'Sposen I take a lot of boys to d
cashier ou a bank an' axes him t
count 'em, does dat signify de casbie
is gwine to pass 'em into de money
room ? No, sab. Go back to year
tent. I sees a crowd goin' in."
The showman, remembered that he
had left the entrance unguarded,
turned, and Isom walked away.—
Little Rock Gazelle
— The following is claimed to be
of benefit for ingrowing toe nails:
Heat a small bit of tallow in the
spoon and pour it ou the granulat
ions Pain aud tenderness are re
lieved at once, and iu a few days the
edge of the nail is exposed so as to
admit of being cut away.
EARLY GATHERED.
Fold her white hands on her breast,
Press warm kisses ou her brow,
She is wrapped in that deep re-.t
Countless hearts have longed to kuow.
Speak her praise in accents low,
1 f you speak her praise to-night,
Lo! the silent augel waits,
See'st uot his vesture white!
Bring sweet roses, pure and pale,
Roses iu their fairest bloom;
They will type a mournful tale —
"Early gathered for the t mb."
PRESIDENTIAL SOLILOQUY.
I look- d to the K ist and 1 looked to the
West,
Aud I saw Ren Harrison a-comtn',
With a terrible majority a-ioarebiu' on bc
i fore, .
A- aouiin' aud a-hingiii' aa>l a-drumiu'.
j
Then strip off your coats, boys, roll up
your sleeves,
Free trade is a hard road to travel;
Then strip off your coats, boys, roll up
your sleeves,
l-'rce trade i; a hard road to travel,
I believe.
1 reckon for to open our market to the world,
And let in the British competition;
I'll cut down the wages, bat who'll care for
I that,
if the otlices will furnish amunitnn?
The blasted manufactured are raisin' ol a
muss,
i But the postoffies boys are all a-workin',
1 And the Mugwump and the South are a-foam
iug at the mouth,
Not a single mother's son of 'em shirkin'.
If ttvasn't for Ben Harrison and his protec
tion garrison,
I'd return to the White House a-httmin';
But it kind o' seems that I'm clean up a
tree,
And that Big Ben Harris >n's a-comiu'.
—Springjielil Un ion.
THE HAPPY PEOPLE.
They Are Not Always to be
Found in the Palaces of
the Great.
One ofTalmage's Sermons.
BROOKLYN, July 15.—The Rev. T.
DeWitt Talmage, D. I)., took for his
subject today: "In Good Humor
With Our Circumstances." Ilis text
was Hebrews, chapter xiii, verse 5:
"Be content with such things as ye
have." The great preacher's dis
course was as follows:
II I should ask some one, "Where
is Brooklyn, today?" he would say,
"At Brighton Beach, or East Hamp
ton, or Shelter Island." "Where is
New York, today?" A.t Long
Branch." "Where is Philadelphia?"
"Cape May." "Where is Boston?"
"At Maltha's Yineyard." "Where
is Virginia?" "At the Sulphur
Springs." "Where the great multi
tude from all parts of the land ?" "At
Saratoga," the modern Bethesda,
where the angel of health is ever stir
ring the waters. But, my friends,
the largest multitude are at home, de
tained 'iy business or circumstances.
Among them all newspaper men, the
hardest worked and the least compen
sated; city railroad employes, and
ferry masters, and the police, and the
tens of thousands of clerks and mer
chants waiting for their turn of ab
sence, and households with an invalid
who canuot be moved, and others hin
dered by stringent circumstances, and
the great multitude of well-to d>> peo
ple who stay at homo because they
like home better than any other place,
refusing to go away simply because
it is the fashion to go. When the
express wagon, with its mountain of
trunks directed to the Catskills or Ni
agara, goes through the streets, we
stand at our window envious and im
patient, and wonder why wo ennnot
go as well as others. Fools that wo
are, as though one could not bo happy
at home as anywhere else. Our
grandfathers and grandmothers had
as good a time a3 we have, long be
fore the first spring was bored Jft. Sar
atoga, or the first deer shot in the
Adirondack.-!. They made their wed
ding tour to the next tiirmhouse, or,
living in New York, they celebrated
the event by an extra walk on the
"Battery."
ALWAYS ON THE 00.
Now, th? genuine American is not
happy unless he is goiug somewhere,
and the passion is so great that there
are Christian people with their fam
ilies detained in the city, who come
not to the house of God, trying to
givs people the idea that they are out
of town; leaving the door plate un
scoured for the same reason, and for
two months keeping the frout shut
ters closed while they sit iu the back
part of the house, the house, the ther
mometer at 00 ! My friend, if it is
beat for us to go, let us go aul be
happy. If it is best for us to stay at
home, let us stay at home and be
happy. There is a great deal of good
common sense in Paul's advice to the
Hebrew.-: "Be content with such
things as ye have." To be content
is to be in good humor with our cir
cumstanced, not picking a quarrel
with our obscurity, or our poverty, or
our social position. Thare are four
or five grand reasons why we should
be content with such things as we
have.
The first reason that I mention as
leading to this spirit advised iu the
text, is the consideration that the
poorest of us have all that is indis
pensable in life. We make a great
ado about our hardships, but how lit
tle we talk of our blessings. Health
of body, which is given to those who
have never been potted, and fondled,
and spoiled by fortune, we take as a
matter of course. Rather have this
luxury, and have it alone,Jthau, with
out it, look out of a palace window
upon parks of deer stalking between
fountains and statuary. These people
sleep sounder on a straw mattress
than fashionable invalids on a couch
of ivory and eagle's down. The din
ner of herbs tastes better to the ap
petite sharpened on a woodman's ax
or a reaper's scythe, than wealthy
indigestion experiences seated at a
tablo covered with partridge, and
venison, and pineapple. The grandest
luxury Goel ever gave a man is
health. He who trades that off for
all the palaces of the earth is infinite
ly cheated. We look back at the
glory of the last Napoleon, but who
would have taken his Versailles and
his Tuileries if with them we had
been obliged to take his gout? "Ob,"
says some one, "it isn't the grosser
pleasure I covet, but it is the gratifi
cation of an artistic and intellectual
taste." Why, my brother, you have
the original from which these pictures
are copied.
TLIE WORK OF THE MASTER ARTIST.
What is a sunset on a wall com
pared with a sunset hung in loops of
fire on the heavens? What is a cas
cade silent on a canvas compared
with a cascade that makes the moun
tain tremble, its gpray ascending like
the departed spirit of the water slain
on the rocks ? Oh, there is a great
deal of hollow affectation about a
fondness for the pictures on the part
of those who never appreciate the or
iginal from which the pictures are
taken As though a parent should
have no regard for his child, but go
into ecstasies over its photograph
Bless the Lord to day, O mau ! O
woman ! that though you may be
shut out from the work of a Church,a
Bierstadt, a Ilubens, and a Raphael,
you still have free accecs to a gallery
[ grander than the Louvre, or th" Lix- '
jcmbarg, or the Vatican—the royal
l callery of the noonday heavens, the
Ring's gallery of the miduight akv.
Another consideration leading us
I to a spirit of contentment is the fact
; that our happiness i- not dependent
; upon outward circumstances You
' see people happy and miserable amid
j all circumstances, la a fa niiy wht.*«
! the last loaf is on the table, and the
i last stick of wood on the fire, you
j sometimes timl a cheerful confident*
' in (jiod, while in a very fine place you
| will see and bear discord sounding
I her war whoop, and ho.-pi ality free/.
| ing to death in a cheerless parlor. 1
stopped oue dev on Broadway at the
head of Wall Street, at the f<. it of
Trinity Church, to see who seemol
the happiest people passiug. I judged
from their the happiest people
were not those wLo went down into
Wall street, for they had on their
brow the anxiety of the dollar they
expected to make: nor the people who
came oat of Wall street, for the anx
iety of the dollar thev had lost; nor
the people who swept by in splendid
equipage, for they met a carriage that
was finer than theirs. The happiest
person in all that crowd, judging
from the countenance,was the womau
who sat at the apple stand knitting,
I believe real happiness oftener looks
out of a window of au humble home
than through the opera glass of the
gilded box of a theater.
WHERE TO LOOK FOE HAPI'INESS.
I find Nero growling on a throne.
I find Paul singing in a dungeon. 1
find King Ahab going to bed at noon
through melancholy, while near by is
Nabolh contented iu the possession of
a vineyard. Ilaman, Prime Minister
of Persia, frets himself almost to
death because a poor Jew will not
tip his hat; and Abithophel, one of
the greatest lawyers of Bible times,
through fear of dying, bangs himself
The wealthiest man, 40 years ago, in
New York, when congratulated over
his large estate, replied: "Ah ! you
don't know bow much trouble 1 have
iu taking care of it " Byron declared
in his last hours that he had never
seen more thuu 12 happy days iu all
bis life Ido cot believe be had seen
12 minutes of thorough satisfaction.
Napoleon I. said: "1 turn with dis
gust from the cowardice aud selfish
ness of man. I hold life a horror:
death is repose. What ) have suffer
ed the last 20 days is beyond human
comprehension." While, on the other
hand,to show how one may bo happy
amid the most disadvantageous cir
cumstances,* just after the. Ocean
Monarch had been wrecked in the En
glish Channel, a steamer was cruising
along in the darkness, when the cap
tain heard a song, a sweet song, com
ing over the water, and he bore down
toward that voice, and found it was
a Christian woman on a plank of tho
wrecked steamer, singing to tho tunc
of St. Martin's—
"Jesus, lover of my soul.
Let me to thy bosom lly,
W liile the billow* near me roll.
While the tempest still is high."
The heart right toward God and
man, wc are happy. The heart
wrong toward God aud man, wo are
uuiiuppy.
EARTH (SLORIES I'ASS AWAY.
Of bow much worth now is tho
crown of C;esar ? Who bids for it?
Who cares now anything about tho
Ampbictyonic Council or the laws of
Lycurgus ? Who trembles now be
cause Xerxes crossed the Hellespont
on a bridge of boats? Who fears be
cause Nebuchadnezzar thundered at
the gates of Jerusalem ? Who cares
now whether or not Cleopatra mar
ried Antony ? Who crouches before
Ferdinand, or Boniface, or Alaric ?
Can Cromwell dissolve the English
Parliament now ? Is William, Priucs
of Orange, King of the Netherlands?
No; no! However much Elizabeth j
may love the Russian crown, tfhe j
must pass it to Peter, and Peter to
Catherine, and Catherine to Paul,aud
Paul to Alexander, aud Alexander to
Nicholas. Leopold puts the German
scepter into the hand of Joseph, and
Philip comes down off the Spanish
throne to let Ferdinand go on. House
of Aragon, house of Hapsburg, house
of Stuart, house of Bourbon, quarrel
ing about everything else, but agree
ing in this: "The fashion of this
world passeth avvav." But have all
these diguitaries gone ? Can they
not be called back? I haye been in
assemblages where 1 have beard the
roll called, and many distinguished
men have answered. If I should call
the roll to day of some of those
mighty one who have gone. I won
der if they would uot answer. 1 will
call the roll. I will call tho roll of
the kings first: Alfred the Great!
William the Conqueror ! Frederick
II! Louis X VI.! No answer. I
will call the roll of the poets: Robert
Southoy ! Tliomas Campbell ! John
Keats! George Crabbe! Robert
Burns! No answer. I call the roil
of artists: Michael Augelo! Paul
Veronese! Wiiliatn Turner ! Chris
topher Wren! No answer. Eyes
closed. Ears deaf. Lips silent.
Hands palsied. Sceptre, pencil, pen,
sword, put down forever. Why
should we look for such baubles ?
CONTENTMENT IN CHRIST.
Again: I remark that tho religion
of Jesus Christ is the grandest influ
ence to make a in in contented In
demnity against all financial and
spiritual harm ! It calms the spirit,
dwindles the earth into insignifi
cance, and swallows up the soul with
the thought of heaven. O ye who
have been going about from place to
place expecting to find in change of
circumstances something to give so
lace to the spirit, I commend you,
this morning, to the warm-hearted,
earnest, practical, common sense re
ligion of the Lord Jesus Christ.
"There is no peace, saith my God,
for the wicked," and as long as you
continue in your sin §ou will be mis
erable. Come to Christ. M ake Him
your portion, and start for heaven,
and you will be a happy mau—you
will be a happy woman.
Vet, my friends, notwithstanding
all these inducements to a spirit of
contentment, I have to tell you this
morning tho human race is divided
iuto two classes—those who scold
and those who get scolded. The car
penter wants to be anything but a
carpenter, and the mason anything
but a mason, anil the banker any
thing but a banker, and the lawyer
anything bnt a lawyer, and the min
ister anything but a minister, and 1
everybody would lie happy if he were
only somebody eise. The anemone | 1
wants to ba a sunfl jvver, and tho ap- l
pie orchards throw down their blos
soms because they are not tall cedars, 1
and the scow wants to be a schooner <
aud the sloop w >uH like t > Jh» a 74-
pounder, a-id bare ihe worst
children that ever were, and every
body baa the greatest misfortune,and
everything i J upside down, or going
to be.
THE OR EAT OAIN.
Ab !my friend*, von never make
any advance through such a spirit a3
that. You cannot fret yourself up:
you miv fret yourself down. Amid
all tbi.* grating of tones I strike this
string of the gospel harp: "Godli
ness will contentment is great gain.
We brought nothing into the world,
and it is very certain wc can carry
nothing out.- having food and rai
m -nt let us therewith be content."
Let U3 all remember, if we are
Christians, that we are going after
a.vhile, whatever be our circum
stances U3 w, to have a glorious vaca
tion. A» in summer we put off our
garments and go down into the cool
sea to bathe, so we will put off these
garments of flesh, and step into the
cool Jordan. We will look around
for some place to lav down oar weari
ness; and the trees will say: *'Come
and under our shalow; - ' and the
earth will say: "Come and sleep in
my bosom;" aud tho winds will say:
"Hush ! while I sing the cradle
hymn;" and while six strong men
carry us out to our last resting place,
and ashes come to ashes and dust to
dust, we will see two scarred feet
standing amid the broken soil, and a
lacerated brow bending over the open
grave, while a voice, tender with all
affectioa and mighty with all
omuipoteuce, will declare: "I am
the resurrection and the life; he that
belieretb in .Me, though he were dead
yet shall he live." Comfort one an
other with these words.
Only the Force of Habit.
"Does tie razor hurt you?"
No reply.
"is the draft to strong?"
No reply.
'•Shall i shut the door?"
No reply.
"Think Cleveland will be reflect
ed?"
No reply.
"Awful tire in New York last
night."
No reply.
"Shave you pretty close?"
No reply.
"Getting very warm cow."
No replj-.
"That was a heavy thunder storm
last night."
No reply.
"Shampoo?"
No reply.
"Trim your hair up a little?"
No reply.
"Hair oil?"
No reply.
"Brilliantine on the mnstache.
No reply.
"Hay rum?"
No reply.
Then the country barber, who was
all alone in bis breezy shop,sat down
greatly refreshed. Ho had been
shaving himself-— Puck.
A Silly Little Girl.
A women weighing something like
200 pounds, cime into the Grand
Central Station the other day cling
ing to tLe bony arm of a little man,
who would probably tip tbe beam at
90 pounds in his winter clothing.
He led the way to the ladies' wait
ing room, deposited the woman on
two chairs, and started out
"You won't begone loDg, will you,
dearie?" she gasped out. "I feel so
timid "
"No darling; I'll be right back;
don't worry about me."
"Ob, I shall, dearie; I cant help it,
and 1 dread being left alone."
"Well, I'll be back in ten min
utes."
"Oh, do; I feel so nervous."
Ho was gone fifteen minutes, and
when he reached lier side again she
tried to tumble in his arms, and said,
sweetly aud childishly:
"I>h, Harry! you were gone an
age. I was so frightened! Ah,
Harry, you will find that you have
married a very silly little girl.""
Original (?) Dan Rice.
Han Rice, the onso famous
is spending the summer at Long
Uranch. He is a changed man since
his marriage to the wealthy Texas
widow about a year ago. "My wife
is one of the finest women that ever
liyed," said Rice, "and she is the first
person who could control me. Moo
dy and San key and many other lead
ing evangelists tried to reform me,
but my wife bad no trouble doing so."
Wheu I married her she told me I
must uot driuk nor play cards, and I
have not done so." Mrs Rice, who
is a very fine-looking womau, owns
tho largest cattle ranch in Texas, sit
uated in Colonel Tom Ochiltree's old
district. Colonel Ochiltree says she
is worth $1,1)00,000 and is one of the
finest women in Texas. Old Dan
never looked better, and no one meet
ing him would suppose that he was
a famous clown when tbe majority of
the men and women of today were
children.
When to Cut Hay.
The farmer seems to think that it
is all very well for men to write
about hay with tbe bloom on and an
odor like southern breezes over a bed
of violets, but when it comes to feed
ing tin; old cow he wauls to seo her
chew on something that will keep
her busy and will last awhile. The
green-tiuted hay stack melts
before a herd of cows like a
snow bank in a hot sun, while the
dry old yellow article remains a mon
ument of the hay field until the green
grass makes its appearance once
more. To be sure, the cows are
somewhat thin, perhaps, and no pro
fit has been made out of the ejws in
milk, but there has been uo worry
about buying ground feed or fodder
corn to help carry the herd through
the winter. Some men can suck cou
solation out of mighty dry sub
stances.— American Dairyman.
—Bring ii> the uews! A reporter
can go through the streets and ask a
hundred people, wha'"s the news?
and ninety of them will say, "noth
ing special." And yet fifty of the
ninety know something which, if not
fouud in the next paper, will aston
ish them, and disappoint them more,
and perhaps make them madder than
hornets Don't be afraid to speak
out your information. H you are
going away, don't wait until yon
have gone and returned, but let the
editor kuow it, and thus help to make
a newsy paper.
Y0.38