VOL. XXV. liuiiiiiiOiiiiniiii LA« E> SILKS. RIBRONS. VELVETS. BHToNS EDGINGS. DKESS (iOODS. TRIMMINGS. BLACK DRESS GOODS. TINSKLtiII.. IKKD DRESS <;PS. BKA ID AND HEAD SETS. DRESS GOODS KO|j THE MILLION. NI« HT DBESSES. WASII DItESS FABRICS. INFANTS WEAK. T'NDERWKAR, JAC KETS. PARASOI-S. HOSIERY*. WUAI-S. SHAW I.S KID GLOVES. ~ A. Troutman & Son. Leading Dry Goods and Carpet Bouse. BTT rLiER - - ■ - - • IPJEUSI JST'A^. CRRTAIVS. CA UPETS. *INW« -KI tf 11 »* "«"rt" >o care for those wlioae pocket books are limited, This 1* a great mistake. WkUe be;n« obliged having the custom of tlie fashionable women, to make special efforts to (rovUc tor Uit-ca. ;.et we tiuuk wc can suit the taste and means of anyone, however odd the taste, or limited t b.- weans. JUL A wnnl about • I.ELI A P1T1I." To thooe who have used It we say nothing. Their once ustag It iii»urt-. Its u»e always. To those who never tried It we say. "proilt by the experience of """"'"Miss M. H. Gilkey, Mew Building, No. 62 S. Main Si. THE LEADING MILLINER THE BUTLER CITIZEN. II»UO F KSSION A L CA HI >S. I - G. M. ZIMMERMAN. PHYSICIAN AND SURG HON. office at No. l'., S. Main street, over Frank i l o'.s lJiug store. Butler, Pa. ' J. F. BKITTAIN*. Att yat Law -Office at S. E. ( or. Main st, and Diamond, Butler, Pa. NEWTON BLACK Att'y at I .aw—Office on South side of Diamond, Butler, Pa. USA MeJUN KIN, Attorney at Law. Office at No. IT, Last Jeffer son St.. Butler. Pa. Dr. 2y» M« Hnover ; Office over Boyd's Drug Store, ! DIAMOND BLOCK. - BUTLER, PA. j W. R. TITZEL, PHYSICIAN ANU SURGEON. N. E. Coiner Main and Wayne Sis. BUTLER PEJMIT'A. Dr. S. A. JOHNSTON, DENTIST, - - BUTLER, PA. All work pertaining to the profession execut ed in the neatest manner. Specialties Cold Fillings, and ramies* l.x tTaction ,1 Teeth. Vitalized Air : dmlnistered. (fjjlre on .Jefferson Street, one door t ol'Lotvry House, I'p Stalls. Office open daily, except Wednesdays and Tlinisdays. communications by mail receive prompt attention,. X. B.— The only Dentist in Butler the best makes of teeth. JOHN E. BYERS, PHYSICIAN AXl> SURGEON Office No. C 5 South Main Street, BUTLER, - I'A. SAMUEL M. BIPPUS, Physician and Surgeon. No. 10 West Cunningham St., BUTLER, PBHN'A DEKTTISTPU Y . 0 1/ WAI.OItON. Graduate of tiie Phiia . I\. deipiiia Dental College, is prepared to do anvthini; !.i the line of iiis profession in a satisfactory manner. I unite oil Main street, Butler, opposite tlie Vogeiey House. J. S. LUSH, M.8., Has removed from Harmony to Butler ar.d has his office at No. 9. Main St., three doors below Lowry House. api'-3i)-tf. L. & McJUNIKIN, Insurance and Real Estate I. 17 KAST JEFFERSON ST. BUTLER, - I»A. C. F. L. McaUISTION, E.VGINEKR AXD SURVEYOR, OFFICE ON DIAMOND. BUH-EK, PA. Stewart & Patterson. A. M. STEWART and s. A. PATTERSON, Con tractors and iiulldcrs, aro l>otll men of years of experience in fine house building and framing. All persons thinking or building will do well to see tUem and look over their 'lesljrns. ICesidenee on l'alrview Ave., S( rtngdale. l'ostoffice, Butler, Pa. FOll SALID A large frame boarding .house, good location and doing large business, Terms easy. k For further particulars imiuire of L. S. XeJl .NKI.V, 17 E. Jefferson St.. -29, it Butler, Pa. CJA L E 8 M EAT WANTED I \ - For the IIOOKEK NCKSKKIKS. es ' tabilshed isal. St'a«l;> i-nnloym.-nt ami (rood pay. Send for tf rnis at once. 11. E. HOOKEIt CO., Kocliester, N. V. .AGENTS WANTED! TO CANVASS FOR ON f. OK THE I.A ROKST, OLDEST ESTABLISHED. LEST KNOWN NI K SEItiKS in the countrv. Most liberal terms. I nequaled facilities. GENEVA SI RSKKV. Es tablished IS4B. IV. & T. SMITH. t.KNKVA, X. V. LOOK! READ! I have enlarged my store-room, In fact, made it almost twice as large as It was before, and have also Increased my stock. I have, bv far, the largest and best selected stock ol Fine Drugs and Chemicals In Butler county, and am now In position to supply the wants of the people of this county— , even better than In the past. You will do well to call on me when in the nee J of anything in tlie line of Fine Drugs and Medicines, Mv stock is very complete and PRICES VERY Low In medicine quality Is of the tlrst Impor tance. so we give particular attention to tilling Prescriptions. Our Dispensing Department is complete. We dispense only Pure Drugs of the Finest Quality, and our patrons may bring us their prescrip tions. feeling certain that t hey will be carefully and accurately filled. Than king the public for the very generous patronage t hey have accorded me In the past, I hope in be able to serve thein inore acceptably In the future, at the old stand. No. 5, North Main St, BUTLER, PA. J. C. REDICK, Planing Mill —AND— Lumber Yard J. L. FURVIB. L. O. PURVIS, S.G. Purvis & Co, MANUFACTURERS AND DEALKBS IN Rough and Planed Lumber OF KY «KY DESCRIPTION. SHINGLES & LATH PLANING MILL AND YARD Xedrlitrtii/i;! Callinlic C'hhrcb SURVE Y I NG LAND, COAL BANKS, AND LEVELING. Particular attention given to the Retracing ol old lines. Address, 11. I<\ 111 LLIAVtD. Co. Siirvt'j or North Hope P. 0., Butler Co., Pa. 8,5,84. ly THJS PAPER H. W. AVE* 4 SON, our «i Wucd «*,ut*. MOWN INC.. ! For the CrnzKV] 1 To greet the day that's just begun, I Ami dry the teats that night has shed, That s-parkle in the morning sun, Like diamonds now that night has lleil, The leathered songster his best, And warbles forth his notes of gleJ; While yet the dew is ou i;is breast, iiis voice is heard in forest tree. | The sunbeams kiss the gliding stream That's wandered through the si.en: night, ! Awakes it from its sombre dream, And floods its face with golden liglr.: . „1 he lambs that skip upon th" la vn, Or gambol in the meadow sweet, Are pleaded to see the smiling Jar u, And show thtir glee in movement ileet. The hills are clothed in summer creen, And lift tiieir heads with forest crowned, Above ihe that lie between, Just waking from their slumber sound . The milkmaid trills a merry tune, That's echoed by the mocking bird, And on the fragrant air of June, The low of cattle's faintly heard. Far in the east the snn is roiled, In yielding folds of bright; That change to crimson, then to gold, Theu slowly vanishes from sight. The morning glories glowing face is fanned by zephyrs from the sea. Plays hide and seek with charming grace With leaves that flutter in the breeze. Blooming flowers, fresh and fair, Tiieir beauty mingle in the scene: The rose and shrub, perfume the air. And humming birds their sweetness glean. I stand awhile in wonder lost, - Nor heed the ever fleeting time; It teems to fairy lands I've crossed, Far iuto some supernal clime. 'Tis God's own hand that wields the brush, And paints the scenes that charms our gaze; Then why should we our voices hush, While nature, loudly shouts his praise. I sometimes think that morning hours Give us a glimpse of Paradise; Or joys that iivad in Eden's bowers, Ere man was stained by guilt and vice. V A STINK. 'SAXOXHUBG, June ISB-S. THE MAN IN BLACK. TiY W. N. II , OF BUTLER, PA. Unnatural deeds T»o breed unnatural trouble: Infested minds To their deaf piilowg will discharge their secrets.— J/nrbfth. I. FRIENU ? FIEND i HUMAN WOLF ! Ia the summer of 1884 I took charge of t Sandpvmp, a small weekly newspaper published in one ot Pennsylvania's invalid oil town 3 which hail not yet recovered from the collapse of the extraordinary excite ment which once followed the drill. I soon became an adept in my new vocation, but I never acquired that eel like proficiency which glides alozg tickling everybody and offending no one. This made my newspaper life all the spicier. Hardly »n is-sue ap peared which did not ofiWul some sen sitive mortal who made it his Lusi ness to have a belligerent interview with the editor, pay his subscription and order his paper stopped. Yes, the sanctum of the Sandpump fre quently presented animated set nes Irom what I considered the most triv ial causes About this period of my life cluster myriads of reminiscences, of which the one ] nip. about to relate is not the most romantic. Seated iu my office on a pleasant December morning, whi -h bore all the charms of a pretty April morn, I was chronicaling the momentuous fact that the Star Grocery—which ran a two column ad. in our paper— had donned a new roof, when I was accosted by an old German lady who resided near the cemetery "and sup plied us with vegetables. I had gratuitously "puffed" everything her farm produced; had lauded her butter, and published to the world that she grew the largest beet ever raised in Western Pennsylvania and defiantly challenged my contemporaries to pro duce its equal. 1 also rendered her the conventional "heartfelt thanks" through the columns of the Sand pump for the present of a Thanks giving turkey, which—blame the luck—she subsequently made me de duct from her subscription- As she approached me, I observed that the complaisance and grandiloquence, so characteristic of your Germau huck ster women, were gone. Positive that I was not in her debt—now don't smile, please don't, for your country editors have to scratch and scrapelo keep body and soul from dissolving partnership, and our thrifty German citizens are not the most favorably in clined to trust—positive, I say, that I was not in her debt, I awaited with reportorial stoicism what she was aJ>out to unburden. Without any urbane preliminaries she began at once to denounce the mysterious character of the town, known as the Man iu Black Oa arriving at the hotel he had announced himself as Benjamin llush Legrand. Although he had been a denizen of the town six weeks he had not spoken, beyond a mere exchange of civilities, to a half dozen persons;oorcould"the shrewdest inhabitant divine bis business Hence the eitizeus viewed him ask ance, with many misgivings. The appellation, Man in Black, was not inappropriate; for this gloomy char acter, iu addition to his mysterious conduct, was clad iu sable attire. In short, to curtail description aud get on with the narrative, he was a very reticeut and much suspicioned young man whose acquaintance I had re cently made; and that, too, one which promised to grow into an ardent friendship, despite my doubts iu regard to his character and in de fiance of the odium which enveloped him. The old lady, ignorant of our relationship, multiplied her vitupera tions as fast as her tongue would per mit; al! the while emphasizing with her head and shoulders, and showing special indignation by stretching her apron and lifting it into the air with spasmodic jerks. I was amazed at i the charges. "Woman," I said, "preposterous, it cannot be!" "Yaw, it vas vust as I vas you tell; yaw, it vas !yaw, yaw !" she vo ciferated. Then, dropping her basket she leaned over the desk and, bring ing her mouth iu closer communica tion with my ear, wbisp red —no, I hissed —in a tone indicating vehe nience of passion: ust uacht I vas him seeu—our house past go in tie graveyard—in de mi mi-mitnacht. Oh, acb; you know vat I mean: ven der rooster crows; —mit a lantern; ail shot mit de front a hole in to let tie licht out He takes dem dead beoplcs out der graves fer der doctors ! \ as? BITTLFR, PA., FRIDAY, JUNR j \*w, he do ! Vat else he do dere ? I)at rascal! do diffel will him yet '• c | iiifen ! ! You git him ia the jhail .put!" I sat amazed—almost petrified with ' amazement. Each word had pierced me to the quick and left a sickening sensation about my heart. Had I deceived myself iu that man ? I re membered his discomfiture as I tarried with bint a few minutes on the street tLe preceding night; how he remained os if lost in deep meditation, when I left him on the chanticleer's announc ing the first watch of the night; aud how, after walking a tew fcqurtres aud looking back, I saw, by the dim star light, his gloomy figure slowly pass ing down the street which led to the cemetery As I watched the strange figure—strange in the weird noctur nal light—grow dimmer, i thought "Poor, melancholy man, wish that God would send an angel to roll that mysterious burden from your heart." It did not oceur to me then that the highway led to the burial ground. Now it appeared as the most dama ging evidence iu opposition to every explanation which affection presented in defense of my accused friend. Friend ?—fiend; human-wolf! Is it possible? Yes Is it probabie? The heart that asked the question did not have the courage to reply. In gram! was a mysterious character; I saw him _ro toward the cemetery; the woman before me saw him in it: what could be more suspicious? Yet I could not entertain the thought: there was a combat within me over its ac ceptance. Did she see him disturb a grave ? No. Grasping this redeem ing feature of the case, I regained self-possession and perceived, that un less I gave the woman some plausible explanation, last nijrht's occurrence would be town talk before nooa. So, looking her iu the ;ace, I said as kindlv and pathetically as possible: "Well, you know he is a strange, quiet man, who goes about ia a mel ancholy mood. As you have seen him carry this apparent load of mcu tal trouble you must hr.ve pitied him just as I did. Perhaps over there iu that quiet God's Acre rests one he loved, and in the night-time there comes a longing which is not satisli »d until ho stands by the grave of his friend—that spot where heaven and earth meet." Then I related how I had waded through the snow ou a bitter co'd day to a cemetery, and tak ing down my Milton I opened tha volume and showed her two pressed pansies, which I bad treasured since that day, and oa the opposite page the entry: ' From her couch beneath the snow. Feb. l lth, IS—." I told the woman that I could give no rational explanation for my con duct. There was a longing—an in clination —which I could not resist. It seemed as if an angel directed my feet and led me to her grave. Pt-r --hi'ps it was similar with this strange being. "Anyhow," I concluded, "there sre strange things about each of us, aud it is the duly of one to bear with the other." She seemed to understand all that I had said to her, and true to her sympathetic Germau nature, a tear trickled down her cheek. When I en joined silenc* ia the matter she readi ly assuuted,although she firmly believ ed the young nun was suffering mental aberration aud should be placed un der surveillance. Having decided to do a little detective work i:i tho case myself, I tli,inked her for her tion and a.-:*ured her that 1 would put it. into execution. Before the old lady's rotund form had rightly crossed the threshold the printers in tho adjoining room began a fusilade of sarcastic remarks upon me "Well, the old woman's got 'em down fine," said one. "She's the girl that can do it," re sponded another. "Surely, that feilow's friendship is worth cultivating! he's either a luna tic or a body-snatcher," sneered a third. "No;" said the first, about to quote me, "you mean 'Such a noble fellow with a melancholy mien.' This traffic iu 'stiffs' is only an innocent diver sion—an avocation, if you please." "Handling'stiffs' is a fine biz in summer time. It's so nice and cool," interposed somebody else. They continued in this strain until Victor, whoso case stood nearest tho door leading to my office, looked up, eyed me suspiciously, and, with a roguish smile, said in a mock-confi dential tone, "Birds of a feather flock together." In strange contrast with my mood I playfully responded: "Give us something new; that's a rusty old saw." "Ah, but it cuts nevertheless," he rejoined. "Say now, seriously, don't you wish all old saws had their teeth knocked out ?" I joined in the laugh his good na tured sally produced. Victor was my favorite among the compositors. He was honest, benevolent, meek — iu short, a young man with an al most faultless character. In fact, there was too much of therccluse stu dent ic him. and instead of contract ing and entering the be3t society of the place, which was anxious to re ceive him, he employed his evenings in the otfice reading in my company. Thus an attachment was soon formed. My admiration for him was more than reciprocated by his affection for me. He was capable of the very strongest love, and the regard he j manifested for mo was more like the love of ardeut woman than calmer man. Iu truth, he was one of those' boys who bear marks of feminine beauty san 3 the vanity by which it is usually accompanied- In physique i he was frail and delicate. As to j physiognomy: lie had a small face : with a straight., well-formed nose; handsome brown brows arched over large, sky-bine eyes, which gave an open expression to an exceptionally I fair countenance. When he smiled, the curves of his dainty silken mus i lache parted and displayed a small : mouth whose lips bore a slight trace iof what Physiognomists would term j sensualism —not gross, vulgar sen i sualism: no, not at all; but such lips jas win our admiration and instill os ! culatory thoughts, lie was certainly | pretty; and he cut a handsome figure i when he tilted his chair, placed his | little feet upon the table, crossed his dapper ankles and began twitching ; his mustache. Frank as Victor was j in other matters, he kept his previous j life a profound secret, I When the laugh, which his pun on I the saw had created ceased, he con ! tinned his railing by querying: "When are you going to marry the ; Man in Black ?" 1 "Why," 1 replied, "are you getting jealous ?" lie colored iustantly. His nervous ness became ni jre apparent as he at tempted to conceal it by silently con tinuing his work. Finally he pied his type. Seeing that my presence only tended to iueroaie Lis embarra*s meut i left the otliee with an addi tional "mystery" on my mind: What, did my innocent question imply to cause fear or create anger? 11. What ho! what ho this fellow is dancing man ! lie hath been bitten by a Tarantula. All in the H'rony. It was and big lleecy snow flikes were d vneing about, playing catch ia the air and hide on the ground. 1 was seated at my oilice desk, nervously revolving my pencil around my finders and in ray miad revolving thoughts of the Man in liiack. He was a maa of the average size with tine physical proportions. There was something strange and sad iu Lis features. His black eyes had a peculiar iustre and shone from their sockets like gems from their caskets, while his lace was thin aud palid, bearing a resemblance to the wan countenance of a university re clouse. His mouth was small and had a mild expression bordering on the indefinable somewhere between the expression of sorrow aud an habitual smile. A couple locks of his raven black hair hung over his forehead in utter disregard of all style or propriety. His hair was black; his eyes were black; his clothes were black; —in short, he was a veri table human raven. He walked with his eyes fixed to the ground aud with slow, measured step and peusive mien; and when thus apparently lost in himself, he was continuously twisting liis moustache, an act which attracted atteution to a ring of re markable design on his engagement finger. It was in the shape of a black serpent whose eyes consisted ot two bright rubies. Whether the pe culiar ring and the finger upon which it was worn had any special signifi cance I was unable to divine. Of course his cravat was black—black plush—and he wore a standing collar, which j, The percentage ot attendance in 1878 was eighty. Iu 1887 the average percent age was eighty six, which plainly shows that the interest in the public schools is increasing. What do theso facts and statistics teach. Manifestly this: First that this county in the matter of wages has not beeu keeping pace with the other counties of this State. Second, that while the educational sentiment has steadily beeu advancing and the standard of the teacher's qualifica tions has steadily been raised, th? wages of the teachers, instead of be ing advanced with his attainments, has beeu reduced. Third, that the teachers of this county do not receive on the average, the compensation to which their education and experience entitles them. la view of all those facts, what is the duty of those having our public schools iu charge ? It is plainly this: Advance the wages to correspond with the advancement made along the other parts of the Hue. It should be remembered that the average teacher of Butler County has spent years of hard work and hundreds of dollars to prepare himself for teaching; that he receives work but in six months of the year; that part of his vacation, at least, must be spent in attending school or studying in order that he may not fall behind his progressive comrades. It has been felt for some time by the leading educators of the State that in order to keep good teachers in the profession and enable others to become more proficient an advance should lie made in Mainly to accomplish this eud the last Legisla ture was induced to appropriate an extra half-million dollars for the schools of the State. If this extra money were applied directly to the teacher's wages, it would make an advance per month of about three aud one-half dollars Have uot the teach ers of this county a right to expect this ? The teachers are not insensible to the fact that some advantages have been secured to thein. The legal school month has been shortened and they now receive wages while attend ing the Annual Institute, yet the ad vantages are trivial when compared with the general progress iu the pro fession. Again, can any school board in the county, as a matter of economy, afford to pay low wages? Will it bo denied that a bright teacher of 5 or 6 years ex perience is cheaper at forty dollars par month, than one of poor ability or in experienced at thirty dollars per month? Take, for instance, the exper cnce of two townships in this county during the last year. No. 1 has eight schools. It had a continous term of six months and paid thirty-five dollars per month Of the eight teachers three held professional certificate; one held a permanent certificates;the other four were teachers of established rep utation who held provisional certifi cates of a very high grado. District No. 2, has six schools. It had a fall term, a winter term, and now is hav ing a spring term. The schools will be organized, reorgani zed and disor ganized three times during the year. Th»- wages for the year will aver age about twenty-seven dollars per month. During tho winter, by far the most important term, four of the six teachers were inexperienced. The other two held provisional certificates of an average grade. It might be well to note, als), that this township furnished two of the experienced teachers for Township No 1. It also allowed several other experienced teachers, who have splendid records, to go into townships where the wages were higher. Any person with an eye to business can surely draw c in clusions from the foregoing example which will prove conclusively that low wages does uot always mean economy. Of course, it is not t> be i expected that an advance iu wages should precede other reforms. but when the teachers have th■■ ini- I tiatory steps surely the cemjensatioo I should follow. This article has not been written in order to dic.ate terms, but -imply to call to the mind-; of some pcrso:■- u few facts that appear to hare been overlooked. J L. S*< \ !»&■ She Everlastingly Had Him. "Are you in earnest, Mr. Ilankia sou ?" The lovely girl who asked this question of Mr. Hankinson sal behind tne ccntie table with her bauds ia her lap and regarded the young man in tently. '•ln earnest, Irene!" he cxeLiui.d, pale with emotion and chronic dys pepsia, "the whole happiness of my life is wrapped up in your answer to the question i have asked. I: v m will tru?t your future ia my hands, my life shall be devoted to the task ot making you happy. It will be my sole aim to shield you from the rude blasts of adversity, to smooth your pathway through the world ami to interpose my right arm between you and every danger that threatens to uisturb your peace, an !—" "If I listen to your suit, Mr. Han •" kinson," interrupted the younur l»dy, casting her eyes with some timidity and confusion to the floor, "you mav regret it some day. You would find me ignorant of the practical duties of housekeeping and without—" ' Practical duties of housekeeping," broke in the enthusiastic youth; "vou will have no practical duties of that kind. As my wife you shall not be a drudge. You shall !>;» the queen of my home. Vou consent, do you not, my dar—" "Wait a moment, ray dear Mr. Hankinso.i. lam afraid you would U nd me thoughtless and extravagant in a great many things." "Extravagant! Irene, it will bo the joy of my life to provide you with whatever may gratify your slightest whim, You can never make a re quest of me that 1 would not re joice to anticipate aud grant before hand." "And you would be willing to spend all your evenings at home?" . "My angel, I never would want to spend ihe>n anywhere else." "You would never break ray heart by joining a club or becoming a drink ing man? - ' "Hear mo, Iv.ie! I promisa asver to do either." "Let me see," BAH! the your.;? lad v. meditatively; "I think that in all—O! yoa will agree to have tha word obey left out of my pari of the mar riage service, will you, Mr. Hankin son?" •"Obey! Ha, ha? Why, my own, certainly, I am eveu willing to prom ise to obey you " '"Then, Marcellus," said the lovely girl, as she lifted a full-grown phono graph off her lap, locked it carefully in a drawer of the secretary that stood against the wall, turned up the gas, and beamed in a sweet, yet bus iness-like manner upon ihe terror stricken young man, "I am yoarj." How lo Cook. Husband s. Mi-s Corson said in the Baltimore Cooking School that a Baltimore lady had written a receipt for "cook ing husbands so as to make them tender and good." It is as follow-': A good many husbands are utterly spoiled by mismanagement. Some women go about it us if their itu bands were bladders, and blow them up. Oth'-rs keep them cons nuly in hot water; others let, them fre< z ■ by their carelessness and in.l.ilVc:. * Some keep them in a pickle al! their lives. Itcann)t lie supposed that auy husband will be good and ton lit, managed iu this way, but they are rcaliy delicious wheu properly treat ed. In buying your husband do not bo guided by the silvery appearanco as iu buying mackerel, nor by the gold en tint as if you wanted salmon. !>•• sure and Helect him yourself, as tastes differ. Do not go to market for him. as the best are always brought to your door. It is far better to have none unless you will patiently learn how to cook him. A preserving kettle < f the finest porcelain is best, but if you have nothing but an earthenwan pipkin it will do with care. S>e that the linen iu which you wrap him i:- niccly washed and mended, with ill required number of buttons and strings nicely sewed on. Tie him iu the kettle by a strong silk cord called comfort, as the one called du'.v is a;»t to be weak They an; apt, to fly out of the kettle and be burned and crust ed tho edges, since, like crabs and lobsters,you have to cook them while alive. Alake a clear, steady lire out of love, neatness aud cheerfulness. Sat him as uear this as seems to agree with him. If he sputters and frizzes do not he anxiou.-; some husbands do this until they are quite done Add a little sugar in the form of what con fectioners call kisses, but no vinegar or pepper on auy account. Do not stick any sharp instrument into him to see if he is becomiug tender. Stir him gently; watch the whije, lest he lie too fl it and closa to the kettle, and become useless. You cannot fail to know when he is done. It thus treated will find him digestible,agree ing uicelv with you and the children, and he will keep as long as you want unless you become carelesd and bet him in too cold a place. All Garry Flasks. It is the fashion of the funny ni 11 nowadays to tell iu the newspapers how the whisky (1 isk ii a part of every traveler's outfit, until the aver age American traveler is looked upon as a sort bar-room, always readv to "take something" from his own flask. An Englishman with whom I talked ou the traiu going to Cincinnati a couple of years ago, stopped in the middle of the conversation and said: "Pardon tne, but I forg >t to get some whisky before I started Would yoa obii go me with your flask?" I toM hi-n I didn't carry one, when he said with an :;ir of astonishment* "Why 1 thought all of you Ameri cans carried 11 isk : of liquor when you traveled. I read it in the newspapers and took it to be true." When I told him ho had been fool ed into believing a very stupid lie he stroked his whiskers and murmur ed: "Strange, most dayvlish starnge." —Some girls are n >t so bad as they are painted. —When b'gidea* get ii.to little mind 4 sotn thing is b tun to spread, it id usually the mouth. NO. :tt A Picnic Quarrel. It was at the first annual picnic of I Saii ladies 1 and Salesgen»l*meii's As s-.-rit tion. E. Harry St. John and H. M'iude Fr thingham bad withdrawn fioui the gay tbroug of merrymakers ai.d stood alone under the spreading i branches of a noble elm Her fair I young face was ciouded by a frown and t. nobie brow seem troubled. ! 11. M ,ude broke the silence by Pay ing: "Maybe you tbiok I didn't ?ee you j swinging \v..h Sadie Murray!'' "Well, what if you did?" he re • rttd, his face assuming a defiantex j presaiea. I ' On, nothing: nothing at all. It's nothing to me whom you swing with, aud my Lcart won't break if you do si" aa hour at a tima m a hammock with Mame Kecson." "Pooh! I didn't sit ten minutes h her. ard wasn't you eatiLg ice cream with Bert Lawson at the same time?" ,is; honld't wonder if I was. Did you expect me to sit and suck my thumbs while you and that Benson girl enjoyed yourselve.-? You're bad ly left it you did. 1 dou'i happent o be built that way " "Well, what are you kicking up such a row about then?" I kicking up a row? As though I care ii you sat a monih ia a hammock with Mame Benson." "Well?" "And it's nothing to me if you did buy soda water twice for Sally Marsh. Ob, I saw you." "And I saw you flirting with Fred Barton." "Well, wasn't you swinging around with Hattie Deane on oue arm Lol Drake on the other, so sweet on theui both sugar wouldn't melt in your mouth? Tell me that?" "What if I was?" "What if I flirted with Fred?" "I wasn't kicking about your flirt ing with Fred." "And I wasn't saving anything about you and Heab aud Lol—only I think that when a follow takes a girl to a picnic be might at least speak to her once after they get there." "Speak to her? Stuff! Didn't T stick riirbt to you all morning? And didn't I eat d'uaer with you and ail that? Do you want me to get down on my hands and knees and crawl around after you all day?" "Now, smart}! The Lord knows I don'c care if yoa don't even look at me. If you was any kind of a gen tleman you'd know how to treat a la dy when she condescends to favor you with her company." "Phew! what a long tail our cat's got." "See here, Harry St. John, this thing had better end right here, and you'd better take your ring if you want it It we can't get along now without a light every day how will it be afterward?" "Well, who begun this fuss?" "You did." «.I9» "Yes, you did " "You did yourself." "You begun it by pitching into me cause I waded into the brook with those girls from the ribbon counter." "Well, how did it look? How would you like to see me paddling around barefooted with a lot of bovs?" "I don't know as I'd care." ' I guess you wouldn't." "Well, I l—pshaw, Maude, let's kiss and make up. You're an old dar ling, anyhow." "Oh, you can't soft-sawder ini»!" "Now, now, my old ker-s weeinesa." '•Oh, behave yourself." • I shan't." "You'd better or I'll —Harry. " Vou ain't so awful cross, are you'" "You'd better not k'ss m > >ura ; n." "L u' TO get. some ice cr. am." "Well, you've got to behave the rest of the day." "All right," and the storm is orer. Tvvenly-live Dollars RewnnL The following which we find in the Ptici* Lutheran for May is pretty good and its publication may be of scrvic* in these parts: James O'lleilley was his nam.-'. He wa.- sixteen years of age. poverty stricken, and from Dublin. lie wore a black Perbv hat, a Print* Albert that d'd not lit. striped pautolaons. wooie.i stocking, winning smile, i I a number ten shoe which had seen better days—a good while ago He was a stranger ami we took hiui in. He was our gu -st for four days whilst we were seeking employ ment lor him. He looked honest, bad aa i pen countenance aim* st to the cars, was skilled at the piano. aid played the lyre like a born Cfttau. Ho took to children aud hid a partic ular affinity for portable property in small packages. He was antietjs to get work, and he got it. He g>t it, in, too, in great shape, and departed without the formality ol a farewell. He uow wears other clothing, an Elgin watch with E J. Schmaock, Kittauning, Pa , engraved on i ; iside of case, and possibly stiil has left enough silver to make a merry jing' *. James bad a taking way about b. r, and a particular predilection for Luth eran preachers. We haye ten dollars to bestow up on the man who produces James in our back yard for ten minute-; r twenty-live dollars, for the recovery of the watch aud the conviction of the thief. For further particular, ad dress Itey. T, B. Both, I tiea, \. Not Big Enough. One of tLc Decoration Day o-ators who went out from Kittanning to speak at a certain town, teils a good story on himself. Arriving at the place, a citizen of large physical di mensions got our orator into his car riage to drive him about the town and show him the sights. Our orator is not a big man bv any means. A group of b>y * were standing at one of the o iers and one of them ex claimed as he siw the carriage anl oe -no mts, "that's him; there he is, boys!" •'\\ ho're yer talkin'about?" said one of them to the first boy. "Why, that feller ia the baggy; lie's the speaker." "(Josh," was the reply, and it came to the orator's ears clear and listinet: "That teller ! Why he isn't big en ough ter cry fer milk !"— Press. A Puzzler. Little girl (looking at a one-legged man)—Oh, mamma! Where was he made? Mother—Made in Haven, my dear. Little girl— Why don't h>> go back and get Quislied?