Butler citizen. (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, April 06, 1888, Image 1
vol, \XV GREAT BARGAINS, O Patsea Fair cF Bradley's Eiar.kets, at $-5-. Five Fine Plush Dolmen®, at $15.00, were *3O 00 Tnree P:u- t» Co*U, at s.'o 00, former prices, -J4.000 Two Plush Coats, at sl7 50, former prices. si>s.oo 4 20 Good Newmarkets, at $5, 16 Chiidrsfis' Wraps fiam One Dollar to Four Dollars, j REMVANTS IN SILK, , WOOLEN and COTTON GOODS OF ALL KINDS., A Full T.ina of Spring Buttons and Trimmings New Spring Goods Aiming. CALL IN AMD SEE THE BEAT BARGAINS. lITTF.B It HAM'S. JUST ARRIVED a large line of Spring and Summer Goods, consisting of Fine Woolens and Suitings which I am ready to make up it Garments al as reasonable prices as TOO will find anywhere ADD SATISFACTION GUARANTEED Also a foil lioe of MENS', BOYS' and CHILDREN'S' ready made Clothing at ROCK BOTTOM PRICES. All the latest novelties for Spring and Summer in Gents' Furnishings, Goods, Hats. Caps, Trunks, Valises; latest patterns in Shirts and Neckwear. Mi" MERCHANT TAILORING Department is Booming Call and make yoor selection for your Spring j Suit frcm those handsome patterns I have just got in. I'riceß reasooable aijd fit guaranteed Thanking my patrone for past favors. I solicit a continuance of the same. I. ROSENBERG. 04 Sooth Main street, opposite the Postoffice, Butler, Pa. I A. Troutman & Son. Leading Drj Goods House. BIT PLEB - IP:EJSI 3STA.. 1111111111 <->llllllllll A Troutman & Son. The 1.-adiifr Dry Goods and Car- ; pet Houee, Boiler, Pa. Sew F'»1l Drww Goodf? at prices which will make tbem move very fast. We hare the largest stock ever abo?*n io Holier couoty, comprising all the new poods io Checks, Stripes aod Plain Veaves in Foreign and Domestic Black and Colored Silks, Special Values IN TRIMMINGS, we have t»ever had sorb a nice as- : •ortraeot and so many of them. BARGAINS In Flsnoels, Bl%nV»t», Tickings, \ Ginghams, Whit* (guilts. Shawls Table Linen*. Lace Cart*iDß, in feet everything which can be fuDtid in a Fid-Class Dry Hoods Store. A. TROUTMAN & PQK'S, Balisr, -Pa Paul Cronenwett & Co,. BITI.ER. Pa.. I an) rv->. era in Hlgh-ela* PouPrv: ; luik-MW.- Ho IJght IlraJiiua-. s. , l-'ci*a |. rns. Jt. * >• (I. White L<tr horns I H.mdouu. •» k- Tontooae Geene, I'elfiri ajirt ! MuMCVjr JPi- «J! Crashed o»-.ier ibclhi for i<uuitry tor imle at all tjinw. W. H. k F. HOBBIS, BCTLEK. HA. T.gga 92 per 13; $3 for 20. For Sale. Tl>» or,<Vn-l£T><-<i a dn. In I-Orator •it FV-nffr D'- 71 U«»- of Parlc«-r twp.. offer* at private sale a farm of 117 acres. «Itu:ite Ui Wash lurtoo twp, mir illllißrda Htatlou It la all ••P-axad aii<; In good -tat* of cultivation. well water**!. tr.d ha* a lw-atory frame bona*. and V* Iwirn L*rv«> orchard anil pond out IwillUnija A I.SO a RS hvf piece in WaHhlnglon twp., »"ar the A ;krhenv ajofx- ooal mine. with i atl- RMA nar rur through It. rwo-atcrv ir; ME bonne . PARTIR J and BALANCE good rim her. MAO a f*rn> ot «o * r<-s In Paricer rwp . be tween inniirute and Kidorado, one-half cleared and o*l»r well iinih-rod with Cbmout timber. go nd i»nd twt no buildings \n tjw- aty.T* are :irid«rlai i with oftal and wpj «<• HOW rtthe. for rash or on time, for lurlber particular* enquire of o. W. CHRISTY. 12-IBJ North Hope P. 0.. Botlir Co., Pa YOU CAN FIND^S ea t> It Pi T.jn.** -h ■< lh«- 4i«fn»UsXri*.! « »2St Kr'JCKOTOIf BROS. »* will cvßirat; for •drertlau.g at loirnit rale*. THE BUTLER CITIZEN. Cloaks and WraPs. for Children and Ladies. We carry the greatest variety of etyleß, our stock never was as large, price# never so low, goods never so nice. If you want to see the nice goods, please call and examine our stock. Ladies', Gents', and Children's Underwear, every grade, all sizes, beet goode. Gloves, Corsetß, Hosiery, Velvets, Plushes, Yarns, etc. —oua— Carpets and Oil Cloths, never bad so oaanv—uever were car pets so cheap. Our stock is complete Don't buy a C*ri>et until you have seen our stock. Body Brussels, Velvets, Tap ehtry, 3-Ply F'xira Super, Hemp, Cot ton and Rag Ruirs Window Shades, largest assort ment, lowest prices. CURTAIN POLES You will fiod on examination our stock of goods to be the Lowest Priced in Butler county. Fittsburgh Nu-series. (KSTABLIHHKO L»IO.) ; We again eITT everything choice in reliable I Kruu. T ieer., Small I roll*, (trap- Vines, Be A V' k*-'- J W" -icl Klowor S. i <li„llardy K'>.e», Clmuatls. Klowc.iDK Plant", New t her jl' H. Nc-.v Apple; New :*<-ar». Sew or namentals. New (!. alnntH. New (inliio h. Murdoch it superior l.uwn Crusa, &c. Send three Ce/.ts pofiijce tor our New Illustrate" wl catalogue for lWi I Out ol town orders for llower. and floral em blemu proiaptiy executed. JOHN R. &. A. MURDOCH, i 508 Sniilhlield St, Pittsburg, Pa CHOICE rfiUIT. I Uavliiß taken 'the agency for the Choice I 'rult Irnui, Beautiful Shrubbery, Ornamental Tre«-s, > Ano eveiythlnij else tn the Nurtery line, or the J New Kngland N®/Nerie«. Chane t'.rot. & <X>., N. V.. 1 will cail u|*iii you Itt the m-ar future and | solicit your orders lor Hprinn delivery. A. H, FALLER, Agent, i I ' 1 Tlutler* - I'll. MR R J. LAMB- Organist and Choir Master, 1 St. i'eter'n uernjan Church. Butler, and coaduo tor of Butler Choral T3nlon OaOAM, PiA*oro»TE, vioum. Hmoiyo A*t> Hah moky. Pianofortes aud Organa Tuned and Filiat ed. T.tuuod application, 50 West Jerforson i street. WCW 1 thii obtain •»*imat it or. tipUJL in Chicago, will find it on filoi* ;U;:C. d C r. LOKD a THOMAS. LOOK.: BEAD! | I hare t nlarged my store-room. In fart, made I It almost iwi '. iVt,-" as i! was ' ' Core. aud 'ill • . 'ii-crtiist-it m •• I have, by tar, . t!,. : n:i'l !>■ - selected stock of Fia< Drugs and Chemicals in xy. ' r v, .■ ;•] •• r« *" 1:: ] sition to i.\~ < ihte c< mty— \ n-. ... i . vlwa in the ITi <■ I ■'; i: • tbin *ni i 1.. •ul • Fine 0 y fc s as,J ivieciicjnss. V 7 ;•!>' 'r- U. :. j i. :.lilug Pr- I oar Ui . toff !>• • ai... -n' >• conv,;lete. Wc I disp-;. ;e .. .. ;• r i »t the * l.ivwW 4, j and oar r t:oi way !•» 1 - us their pre-' lp i tlons, fei.li'ii: crt in that they will carefully I and aecu a< •!> 11': i. i Thanking the for tho v.-ry generous i patronag ' •• !»;••• • ••r-i.-d me In th- j> it. I hope to I.- a!.;- '<> sei ve i.-ni more accept-ably ! in the future, at the old stand. No. 5. North Main St, BUTLER, PA. J. wii, Wm. f7 Miller. Manufacturer of Stair Hails, Balusters and Newel-posts. All kinds of wood-turning done to order, also Decorate<i aixl Carved wood-woik, such as Casing. Calrner blocks, Pan'-Is and all kinds of fancy wood-work for inside decoration of houses. CALL AXT> SEE SAMPLES. Something new and attractive. Also FURNITURE at lowest cash prices. Store at No. 40, X. Main street. Factory at No. 6ft, N, Washington street, j BCTLEK, PKNNA. Solid Traffil i TW I 3 No BETTERCATHARTIC No BETTER LIVE R MEDSCiNE THAN I THE WORLD-RENOWNED D^S ch i dcK \' s For Sal« by alt Drnfrjri***. Price 25 et*. par to*; . 3 I-.XHI for 65 eta ;or •••lit l.y mkil, pwiiiK* fre*, on | receipt of price. Dr. J. 11. Schenck 4 Son, Phllad'a. I - ______ 1 f' t/rtll Suffer a li_ Wlj 3 5 Have fin* Soreness, I f I 1111 Feci Any Weakness, II I V w Have a Lame Back, i Go or wr-rid atralßht an you can to the drug j atom una lnaiat on htvylug ilie I uuiuuo - KopPlaster - I# will Cure; novor falls to fifivo Jnntant. relief. VlrtueM of frenh hope, be rn lock and pirns ba)".nun united. Th« perfection of plan tern, oi'jan and aweet. 26c., five for $ 1 00, orinailMiforpr.ee. PROFESSIONAL CARDS. (i M. ZIMMEKMAN, rjIYBIfIAN AND Kt'KOEOS, Office at No. 4», 8. Main street, over Frank Ac Go's In IIK Store. Butler, Pa. J. V. BKITTAIN, Att'y at Law—Office at S. E. (,'or. Main St, and iJlamond, Bntler, Pa. NEWTON BLACK Att'y at Law—Office on South side of Diamond, Butler. Pa. IHA MCJUNKIN, Attorney at Law. OBlee at No. 17, East Jeffer son bt.. Butler, Pa. W. R. TITZEL, PHYSK 'IAN AN,> SURGEON. N. ffi.('orn«t Main and Wayne 8t«. BOTLER Fii]JN3Sr'A. Dr. S. A. JOHNSTON, DENTIST, - - BUTLER, PA. All work pertaining to the profession ex«cut ed in tin- neatest matiwr. Special! I'-s : -liold Filllnirs. and Painless Ex traction of I' cth, ViL;tli/.i-<l Al»- iuimlnlstered. OlH.'c on .Mfcrsni Htrn l, our door tnnt ofl.onr; Hoime, t|> Stairs, orwii dally, except Wednesdays and Thurs-la;.s. CoiiiniiinlcaUons by mail receive prompt attention. It.—The only Ik'iitist In Butler iislng the [ best makes of teeth. JOHN E. BVERS, PHYSICIAN ANi> SURGEON Office No, cr» South Main Street, BUTLER, - J*A.. SAMUEL M. BIPPDS, Physician and Burgeon, No. 10 We t Cunuingbam St., BU TLER. PEl>Tli'A DEINT'ITSTR X . 0 1/ WALDKON, ira Inate of the Phi I a • •». drlphh' Dental < "liege, is preparwl ! Unto auyttniiK ;:i tlie line of his i tofesblon In a satisf; ctory ir: ner. Ofli'-i nil M.tin rc.t, Butler, Union Block up stairs. J, S.JbUBK, M.D.j linn removed irorn Harmony to Butler and has hIH Office al No. 9, Main H1.., three door* ly-low tMII llollrti;. apr-80-tt. L 8 McJUNIKIN, Insurance and Real Estate A^'l. 17 EAST JEFFERSON ST. BUTLER, - PA. ATFRANK K CO, OtJtLEKd IN DEUOB, MEDICINES, AND CHEMICALS FANCY ANIJ TOILET A RTICES, SPONGES, BRUSHES, PERFUMERY, Aa pounded. 45 S Main Street, Butler, Pa. THIS FAPtB HOME. [ The following sweet poem is from the pen of Shilluber—"Mrs. Partin »U»u"—and is a j>erfect picture of his childhood home. There's a little low hut by the river's side, Within thescuudof its rippling tide; ■ Its walls are gray with the mosses of years, And its roof all crumbled and oM appears; ' But fairer to me than castle's pride Is the little low hut by the river's .side. 1 he little lotf" hui wus my natal nest, Where :uy child hood passed—Life's spring time blest, Where the hopes of ardent youth ware form ed, And lue ; up. of promise my young heart warmed, !r>e I threw u:y&elf on life's swift tide, And 1 left the dear hut hy the river's side, ' That little low hut, in lowly guise, j Was soil and grind to i::y youthful eyes, | And fairer trees were ufc'er mia.va li-jlbre I Tuan the apple tree', by tlie huia&e door, j Tijat lify father loved fjr tui-ir tnr;;iy pride, Whfe'a bhadowei tha but by the river's side. Tiiat littie lor hut had a ;;la 1 heartint ' i-;, That echoed of old with a pleasant R>.:e, And an 1 sister> a merry cre.r. Filled the hours with pleasure a_; oa tuey flew; Hut one by one the loved ones died, That dwelt ia the hut by the river's side. The father revered and tiie children gay The graves of the world have called away; But quietly all alone there sits By the pleasant window iu summer and knits. An old woman, long yean allied With the little low hut by tha river's side. That little low hut to the lonely wife Is the cherished st iga of her ao:ive life; Kach scene is realize 1 in mi'U iff's bia-n As she sits by the window iu pensive dream; And joys and woes roll back like a tide In that little low hut by the river'-. ie. My mother—alone by th* river's si le She waits for t'le fl->od of the heavenly tida. And the voice that thrills her heart by its call, To meet once more the dear ones all, And form in a region beautilie I, That band tha; once met by the river's side. That dear old hut by the river'j ci le. Wish the warmest pulse of heart allied, And a glory is over the dar'i wall thrown, That statelier fairies have uefer known, And I shall love with a fonder pride The little low hut by the river's side. The Startling Experiences of Hiram Porker, C. H. K. Hiratn Porker was an American. He was also a inoaomoniac, a drel, and a crank. He was a mono maniac because bis narrow, contract ed mind, and all the shallow ideas that emanated from bis dried up btain, were wholly jfiven over to the wonderful pork packing manufactory that bore bis name and covered a goodly number of acres in that seun cultured capital of the West, Chicago. From sumine to sunset he thought of nothing but pigs. It was bis greatest delight to watch all day long the movement of the clever machines that so neatly and quickly dissected the live, squealing bogs and convert ed them into marketable produce At night he dreamed of them, and as with the passing years his bank ac count swelled larger and larger, his passion lor blood and slaughter, fos tered by the every day sights at his establishment, waxed stroug and fierce, until, like one of the characters in Eugene Sue's great romance, he fairly eaw red. • For many and divers reasons he was a scoundrel. A very few words will suffice to give tha reader an in sight into bis character. His clerks »nd assistants were oppressed, despis ed, ill paid, and treated like brutes. As mere machines they were regard ed, to be moved and controlled at the owner's will. Will of their own they bad none. They were bought and owned like so many goods and chat tels. In ways that are dark Hiram Por ker was no novice. A pig was a pig to him, aud if a pig was afliicted with all the porcine ailments in the calen dar, he went uuder the knife just the same. Nevertheless, Mr. Porker never partook of bis own meat. Again, honesty was not one of his cardinal virtues, and to all the prin ciples of upright,, legitimate business he was a stranger In his impersonation of a crank Mr Porker is invested with much that is interesting and worthy of close obser vation. The very incarnation of com bined ignorance and egotism, he po ses as a fitting representative of that class class of "Americans" who, by their absurdities, have throughout the civilized world invoked odium and ridicule upon the country that unfortunately acknowledge their pa ternity. Mr. Porker's mental status is ou a level with that of the man, a native of Chicago, or Kansas City, I believe, who, when he received from New York a statute of "Venus of Mi lo" with the arms off, straigthway went and sued the express company for damages inflicted while enroute. Doubtless he is near relative of the "Billionare" American mentioned in William Black's last novel, who, on being taken into Westmin-ter Abbey, threw a careless glance around the place and then unwittingly displayed his brutish ignorance by remarking with cool sarcasm to his guide, "that Sqatterville, Nebraska, was a darned sight better place than this, because it «vas full of live men, and Westmin ster Abbey was only full of dead ones." To Hiram Porker Chicago was the world. The column of the daily pa per that contained the rise and fall of live stock and beef was his Bible, his sole and only guide to life. Beyond this be knew nothing, desired noth ing. He never knew there was a Germau empire until Bismarck aired his views ou American pork, and then he was filled with wrath aud indignation at this hardy Teuton, who dared to entertain views hostile to the welfare of him, Hiram Porker. For aught he knew, Victoria Kegina was the queen of the Cunnibal Is lands, and the Czar of the Russias held high revelry with his court at North Pole. One brief sentence will concisely sum up the character of my "hero," and just as correctly as pages of biographical data. He was hog by name and hog by nature. At this stage when he appears to the reader, we find him a successful man, a moneyed man tberfore a fit ting claimaut to the shrine that re ceives the homage and devotion of tho lucre-loving West The hours of daylight still found him at bis post of duty counting the hogs as they ' rolled in their life blood down the 1 greasy inclined planes, and shouting [ hoarbcly to bis men in pbrafwu of BUTLER. PA FRIDAY, APRIL fi. 1888 Western slang that would have turu - i ed an Eat«t London dialect green ' wirh envv But at night the silkeri ( chains of society laid hold on him, , and decked him out iu all their "para- 1 pherualia of form and custom, a swal low-tail coat, low vest, diamond and white tie. patent leather shoes, and then led him away captive to the gay, aliurifig haunts of fashion, where be was fondled openly for bis riches, and ! secretly despited ami mocked for I his mental failings. His supreme ar rogance, of course, buoyed him up and closed his eyes tightly to all de fects "Mr Porker,,' said a fair hostess one night, as she pointed to a paint- , ing that represented a bit of smiling meadow laud and forest, "is not that a charming water-coloi?" "Madam," said Mr. Porker, with aa r.ir of well-assumed criticism, as he tugged nervously at his terracotta colored beard, aud glared at the painting through a pair of gold eyes ! glasses; "Madam, it's a pretty neat j picture, but I really fail to see whar the water comes in." But of a sudden a new idea, J strange to say, forced itself with i some difficulty into the brain of Hi- j ram Porker. O'er the spirit of his ; dreams there came a change, and he j straightway announced to bis friends j that in the early spriug he would takrf a jauut over the European Conti nent and leave his hogs to be guillo tined by strange hs.nds. The fact was that, having now become a fuil flegded society man, he felt it incum bent upon him to go in search of that added luster aud polish that a conti nental sojourn aloue cau impart. He was beginning to wake up and to see that other men who made money had : delightful ways of spending it, too. Life was not intended to be passed i ia the company of pigs. So, filled ! with all the ardor of this new-born i resolution, Hiram Porker prepared | prepared for his trip. Spring was approaching, or rather summer, for it was near the end of April, and in May Mr, Porker was to sail. IL> had found a suitable man, from his standpoint, to conduct the busiuess, and this important affair settled, his mind was somewhat at ease In the meantime some of Mr. Porker's numerous friends, who I am inclined to imagine cherished deep down in their hearts a hidden ani mosity against the rich pork packer, were preparing a pleasant little sur prise for him in the way of a practi cal joke, and from the long hours spent at the club in concocting their scheme, it was evidently uausually briiliant. The first of May was close at h«nd, and on the evening prior to his de parture for New York. Hiram Parker was sitting in bis library puffing at a five-cent cigar, and trying to ascer tain froru a map spread out before him whether th.;re were any pork packing establishments is the city of London. He was deeply engrossed in this important problem when three visitors were ushered into the room. "Ah, gentlemen," said Hiram, rising briskly, "good evening. Take a seat. Come to say good bye, did you? Waal, you are just in time. 1 pull out early tomorrow, and I hope to be on the briny in three days." "Yes," responded Jack Martin,'we knew you sailed tomorrow. Mr. Por ker, and came to wish you 'bon voy ags' in behalf of your numerous , friends. Aud knowing your kindness of heart and genial good nature, I have also made up my minil to ask a , favor of you. You are, perhaps, not aware that my family are English, and in fact, to be brief with you, I am related to Lord Casperdown, of Eaton Square, London. I have sev eral packages containing presents to , my relatives, and also a bundle of letters of much importance that I should dislike to trust to the mails. It is presumption to ask it, Mr. Por ker, hut you would be conferring a ( priceless favor upon me if you would deliver these in person at Eaton Square. And any small returns that Lord Casperdown can make for your kindness i kuow he will do gladly. As a friend of mine you will be thrice welcome, and as Lord Casper down's guest the portals of the London upper teu thousand will lie thrown open to you. Here are the packages," and, stepping to the table, be laid down a small packet of letters and two square, flat bandies of considerable weight, and probably six by eight inches in size. "Certainly, certainly," said Hiram; "of course I'll deliver that fur you It won't be no trouble at all. Just as eoou as I get to London I'll ruu up and see Lord Gasserdown. and tell him how you are and give him your presents Wouldn't be a bad idea now, would it, to take him along a little box of my specially prepared slices of bacon, them in greased pa pers, aud tin boxes, you know, just to let him see what kind of stuff we put up here in Chicago?" "That's a splendid idea," said Jack Martin; "but I'll tell you one thing, Mr Porker, you ought to have a ti tie of nome kind. Every one across the ocean of tiny account has a lot of letters tacked on the end of his name.' "Yes; I've been thinking about that," said Hiram, "and I've picked out a title for myself already. 'Mr. Hiram Porker, C. II K ' how does that sound, anyhow? Purty fine, ain't it? It's a good one too, Cham pion flog Killer. I reckon J won't find any one over thar to dispute that, title with me. Think so?" "Drop the last word ami you'll be safe on that score," murmured Jack Martin under his breath "And as for these bundles," con tinued Hiram, as he pulled a grip sack from under the table, "I'll just stow them away in this, and then I'll have them safe with me all the time. And now, gentlemen, have a cigar and glass of cham , I mean sher ry with me before yoa go. Two days later Mr Hiram Porker Bailed from New York to Liverpool, and about the time that steamer was ploughing her first ocean waves be yond Handy Hook, the following ca , blegram was flushed over the wires: "Police lli-Ril'iuartcrH at H<v>tland Yard, London, —A nailed on the Aurauia today. Ki-dditt) heard, Holt light hat, and a bin all black valiwi. Noeda watching, 11. When the Aurania steamed into the dork at Liverpool, Hiram Porker j was among the first to step on terra firma, and an exceedingly satisfacto ry step it was to him But the ocean journey, in spite of his soa sickness, had not been unproductive of good. He had made the acquaintance of a captain in the army, a retired barris ter, aud a swell young lord who wore i Scotcli twewda aud displayed with | great hauteur a single glass in the corner of his eye, Such was the ac j counts they modestly gave of them , selves, ar all events, and Hiram im -1 piicitly believed them, though the cap tain's bearing was anything but milita ry, the barrister wore a ho.se shoe pin aud a crimson striped shirt, and his lordship h;>d a habu of continually dropping his h's As iiiustrious quartette walked up the pier aud bail ed a cab. none of them noticed the quiet, geateel little man ia dark brown suit and slouch hat who scrutinized them closely as they pass ed, and got into a cab at the same | they did. Nor did they tee him at . the Lime street station that evening, though he was there all the saute, and occupied a seat ia the same car | riage and busied himself by making jottings in a little memorandum book. Hiram Porker's first view of Loa j don was at night, aud to his unsoph isticated eyes it was a second edition jof New York or Chicago, only the i buildings were more subdued and less fanciful, aud the streets were not j lit up so brightly. But the familiar ; roar and bustle aud turmoil was I there; crowds surged restlessly up and down; the streets were jammed I with vehicles and line£ of tram cars, ! and Hiram begin to realize that Lon j don was a bigger place than either New York or Chicago, and as for the English people, he began to regard them as superior to Americans al ready, for the captain, the barrister and the lord had decided out of pure disiuterested friendship to absent themselves from their respective posts of duty long enough to iuitiate Hiram into the sights aud mysteries of London. At the suggestion of Lord Valeu j tine, as he styled himself, they weat [to the Hotel Berlolini, in Leicester Square, which h.9 assured Hiram was | much frequented by the nobility, i Shortly after they had registered and had been assigned to appartments, a little man iu a browu suit stepped up to the desk, ran his eye quickly over the frcshly-iuscribed signatures, and then turned away and walked out of the door. "Ah!" he softly remarked to him self, as he lit a cigar, aud strolled to ward the blazing Alhambra, "he's game for sharpers touight; tomorrow he'll be game for the police." That was a memorable night to Hiram Porker. The innermost se crets of the fast side of Loudon life were laid open before him with un blushing candor. He was introduced freely to English ales, English cham pagne, and Engish gin, aud uuder the undue exhilaration produced by this unfraterual mixture he so far forgot himself as to loan a hundred pounds apiece to his three new friends and finally sat down, or rather laid down, to a game of American poker with them at 3 o'clock in the morning. The inevitable awakening came at noon the next day, when he came to his senses, and, having made a hasty inventory, found himself short just nine hundred pounds,while his friends had been called away on sudden bus iness. and in their haste accidentally omitted to pay their board bill, which sundry quarts of champagne had swelled to quite a figure. Stupid and dull-headed as he was Hiram began to see that be had fallen into a trap, aud in the first attacks of rage and auger that came over him he stamped savagely around the hotel, chewing one cigar after another to fragments between his teeth,and mut tering audible remarks that wore anything but flattering to the Eng lish people. Fortunately the per sons who were near him were mostly French, and would not haye resented it if they had understood him. In fact Bertolini's is frequented almost entirely by Frenchmen, aud it was no doubt in full yiew of this fact that Hiram's friends had brought birn here. The next morning Hiram had cool ed off, and stepped into the breakfast room with his usual swaggering air of self importance. In regard to his loss, he bad determined to keep si lence, not wishing his friends to kuow how easily he had lalieu a victim. After smoking a good cigar, aud strolling once around tLe square, he concluded that he had better deliver the packages entrusted to his care. He reflected with a serene satisfaction that no doubt this lord would insist ou his stopping with him while in Loudon, and thus he would be brought among people who would appreciate his worth. He went back to the hotel, and after brushing off his clothes carefully, and parting his red beard in the middle, with the air of mustach wax, as he had seen the "Barrister" wear his, he grasped the valise and hurried out iuto the street. With a vague in stinct he turned dowu Coventry steet, aud hurried along through the crowd until he reached Piccadilly Circus, aud became hopelessly en tangled in the seething mass of peo ple and vehicles tnat came together here at right angles from Regent street and Piccadilly. He floundered along for a few yards aud then made a desperate dash for a cab that was standiug near tho curb a little in front of him. He shoved people to right and left in his reckless haste, and only stopped when he rau into a blue coated, helmeted policeman He made a breathless explanation, and then reached the sidewalk and hailed the cab. The driver had the door open, and he was just stepping in when a little man in a brown suit touched him ou the shoulder. "Mr. Porker, I believe." be said "Yes, that's my name," said Hiram, "but I don't—" "It's all right." interrupted the man; "1 havo a little business with you " He gently pushed Hiram into the cab. A man in a light over coat and high bat followed him, and the door was slimmed shut. The little man called out some indistinct, order to the driver and oil they went, rattling and bumping over the stones. Hiram was too startled at first to utter a word. How did that man kuow bis name, he wendered and why had they gotten into tho cab with him? Perhaps ho was beiug abducted, and would be held for a ransom. He had heart! of such things somewhere, he vaguely re membered. Suddenly he turned around fiercely and demanded to know what this meant The man in the light coat only shook bifl bead, and the other man was too much oc cupied with Hiram's valise, which he was holding in a very gingerly man ner aud contemplating with a look of ' intense curiosity. Hiram was just about collecting all the energy and ' language at his command to atwure his captors that u was lue great Air. Porker, of Ch:eago, whom they were subjecting these indignities, when the cab suddenly stapped, the door was dashed open, and Hiram was quickly led across the payement and into a dark, gloomy building with huge windows and a massive door way. -Men iu dark uniforms were staudmg around, and stared at him curiously as he passed along He was quickly icd into a small enclosure and the door closed on him. Near him men were writiug busily at a desk, and the little man in brown was whisper ing to them quietly, while the valise was laid carelully on a small table. While Hiram was puzzling his brain to know what all this meant, he heard his name called and and was toid to stand up in front of the rail ing. "Your name, sir," said a man with a heavy gray beard. ' 'Hiram Porker." "From where?" '•From Chicago, United States." "What business have you in Lon don?" "What business! And what devil does that matter to you," shouted Hiram angrily, "haveu't I a right to come oyer to this blarsted country if I like. I demand to know what all this meaus. anyhow?" The official gazed at him sternly, "You will learu all that iu good time. Sit down." Hiram sank back on the benches and looked on with a great deal of interest as his valise was brought for ward aud opened carefully in the presence of half a dozea men. The packet of letters was lifted out and the wrapping torn off. The lirst let ter was opened and read 'mid b.-eath iers aud oppressive silence. "It is marked Michael Sullivan," said the official, and then he read on in a low voice: Nl:w YORK, April 20,1887. The bearer of this will give you minute in structions, and will hand over to you the c.tsli that has just been collected for the cause. The tune for further action has ar rived, aud we shall anxiou'-ly await develop ments. The bearer will give you the plan of the cellars under the Houses of Parliaments. DONOVAN O'LAVKUTY. As he finished a low murmur of surprise and auger ran through the assemblage, while many threatening glances were directed to Hiram who was too paralyzed with astonishment to utter a word. "What have we here," said an offi cer, lifting one of the packages. "Lord Casperdown, Eaton Square, W." I don't believe there is any such name in the Peerage," He removed the wrapper and out fell a small revolver and a wicked looking dirk knife in a case. This discovery was received in silence,Jand the other package was at once taken up. Every eye was directed to it as the yellow wrapper was carefully re aioyed, and disclosed to view a small wooden box on the top of which was marked in black letters,"Handle with Care." Softly the lid was lifted and the contents were seen. It was full to the brim with what looked like yellow sand or dirt. The officer turned ghastly pale and fell back in the chair, while every one stepped quick ly away, and one ex'ited individual shouted loudly, "Dynamite!" Dyna mite!" Dull-witted as he was, Hiram had suddenly understood the whole mat ter. It was all a practical joke, of course, perpetrated by his friends in Chicago, but nevertheless he was far from appreciating the gravity of the situation He rose up to explain, but had hardly opened his mouth when a pair of hand-cuffs were clapped on his wrists, two sturdy officers seized him and he was speedily led out of the room and thrust into a close cab. He raved and stormed and battered the sides of the cab with his feet, but bis captors paid no attention to him, and in a very short time he, the Hiram Porker, the millionare of Chicago, was occupying a solitary cell in New gate Prison. We will touch lightly on the sub sequent events. Hiram procured couusel, who went diligently to work, aud many cablegrams and letters erossed the world between Chicago and London, for not a man could be found iu England or on the Contin ent who knew Hiram. Six long weeks be languished in Newgate while all the great world of London surged around him, and at. last one lovely summer morning he was brought to court in a close van ac companied by mounted guards. Let ters and affidavits were produced from many people in Chicago, including a signed coufession from .lack Martin. The supposed dyuaniite was shown to have been only common yellow sand, and finally Hiram Porker was a free man again. "Mr, Porker,"said the Justice.as he discharged him, "what does C. IL K. stand for, which you placed behind your name ou the register of the Ho tel Bertolini?" A burst of laughter arose as Hiram sullenly replied, and the justice remarked with a semblance of a smile, "Mr. Porker, you had bet ter stay at home here after and attend to your hogs. You are discharged " Hirm's face was purple with rage as he hnrried away and drove off in a cab. Two days later he sailed for home. When he arrived at Chicago, thirsty for revenue, it was only to find that Jack Martin had left for parts unknown. Some day perhaps be will come back, hoping that time will have woru off the passion of Mr. Porker. In that ho errs. Mr. Pork er the dynamiter, as ho ia known among his friends, still cherishes the memory of that sojourn in a London prison, and the desire of his life is to come face to face with Jack Martin. WILLIAM MURRAY GRATDON. —Senator lugalls, in answer to a letter complimenting him on his speech in favor of the pension bill, in which the administration of Mr. Cleve land was severely handled says: "When I recall the course of the Democratic party towards Mr. Lin coln, whom they habitually charac terized as a baboon aud a clown; tow ard Grant, whom thoy Btyled a butch er and druukard; II ayes, whom they described as a fraud and thiof, and thief, and Garfield r.B a public plunderer, and Arthur as a wine-bib ber and glutton, it is interesting to inquire upon what theory Mr. Cleve land is entitled to absolute immunity from anything but praise and enlogy I adhere to my definition of Mr. Cleveland and shall never beßitate to say that, when he was elected to the presidency the public seryico rer.ched low-water mark, both morally and in tellectually." —South Australia's wheat crop will be aforut 20,W0,000 buufcla, Tariir Universal. The ngeut for a large paper manu facturing compauy, \v ho ua-. just made |uu exhaustive investigation of the j subject, says in his report. "i find England to be the only i 'free trade' conutry iu i' c world, ami even there thi-i is a*>t strictly observ ed, as custom duties arc collected uu various eli<?m:e.iis. gold, » 1 vor, fruit.*, jewelry, malt, liquors, spiers, tobacco playing cards, chicory, coilV, tea aad wine. The duties on Atm-ricm pa per and kindred go Is iau> E-iropean countries are an interesting s'.udy, as, for instance, Portugal, 175 per 100 kilos on paper, but $lO 75 on same weight in books printed in Portu guese. Italy. Russia Sp-.ij and Tur key also show this peculiarity in a marked degree and iu strong contrast with Germany, France and Austria, where books are entered free, thus, countries having the lowest educa tional status impose the strongest re strictions on the means of improving the condition of their people. Another curious feature is the duty on printing paper exacted by three countries which touch each other, viz: Switzer land, .58; Germany, $2 3S; Ita'ty, sll.- 58. "Before I began looking into these matters, I had the the impression, in common, I guess, with many others, that the United States was the only country where a tariff was strictly imposed; but such is not the case, as besides .the European countries nam ed above, all the South and Central American countries have their cus tom duties. The basis for collecting duties in these various countries ia quite different. Our near neighbor, Canada, collects custom duties as fol lows. Printed books seven years old, also books for use in schools for deaf dumb, free; other printed books, 15 per cent.: religious books, 5 per cent. We hear a great deal about the trade awaiting the United States in foreign countries, but, as stated recently in a leading 'tree trade' paper,'the railroad or the steamship line must always be the pioneer in building up trade and commerge.' In my opinion this j country is making many lines of goods cheaper than any country in the world, but when the government refuses to assist shipping, and our carrying must be done iu Eugiish ships, subsidized and protected by the home government to compete for foreign trade, we shouid adopt the plau set forth iu the following able words, written by one of my custo mers in reply to a February letter. " 'lf the United States at this day, and with her capacity, is not able to assert, maintain and hold her proper position and importance in the world's family, there is something wrong, and that wrong shouid be corrected. If I were the autocrat of the United States, I should continue tho tariff on its basis for Ave years, and have it distinctly understood that such was the case I should then take one-half the amount or surplus, (at least, if not more) subsidize steamship liues con necting with all parts of tho world; would encourage, aid and assist the citizens of the United States in mak ing market abroad, and in other words do for the United States and its manufacturers just what a busi ness man with a broad business hori zon would do in his own particular line of trade. That is to say, first, seo how well I could make goods, how cheap I could make them, and then give my undivided attention to making a market for the same.' " 'There is to my mind no greater probability and possibility of success, development and great commercial gain for the United States than the carrying out of this idea, that is to say, the trading with the whole world as a market, the United States as a producer, and what raw materials are not found in the United States could be brought back in on our own steam ships, after delivering our own manu factures, and this way mako profit able on both trips aud make money on both deals.'" Getting Things Mixed. From the Omaha Boe. J A newly elected Justice of the Peace, who had been used to draw ing up deeds aud wills and little else, was called up to marry a couple in haste. Removiug bis hat he remark ed: "Hats off in the presence of the Court!" All being uncovered he pro ceeded: "Hold up yer right hand. You, John Mankin, do yer solemuly swear, to the best of yer knowledge an' belief, that yer take this woman to have an' to hold for yerself, yer, heirs, execyrters. administrates and assigns, for yer an' ihir use an' be hoof forever?" "1 do," answered the groom, promptly. "You, Alice Evans, take this yer mau for yer husband, ter have an' ter hold foreyer; an' you do solemnly swear that yer lawfully seized iu fee simple and an' free from all encum brance, an' have good right to sell, bargain and convey to said grantee, yerself, yer heirs, administrators aud assigns?" "I—l do," said the bride, doubtful •j- --"Well, that er's wuth a dollar 'u fifty cents." "Are wo married?" asked the bride. "Yes. Know all men by these presents that I, being in i/ood health and of sound mind and disposition, iu consideration of a dollar 'n fifty cents, to me in hand well an' truly paid, tho receipt whereof is hereby acknowl edged, do an' by the presents have declared you man an' wife duriu' good behavior an' until otherwise or dered by tho Court." A Novel Postage Stamp. The very latest thing out iu the way of stationery is an envelope of leather, which can bo locked and sent through the mails without being tam pered with. Upon the back of the envelope is a tiny staple of gold or silver, over which fits snugly a link of similar material attached to the flap, and this is secured by a dainty little padlock with a Yale lock Up on the face is an open pocket for the insertion of a card bearing the address and the necessary postage stamp. —The shortest complete poem in the Eugiish language was published last week: " This bliz Knock* biz." This maMterpiee© is both concise and wondarfally true. —C. G Harris, of Nilos, <>., has invented an automatic feeder that will cut UOO nails a minute. Site Wanted Cold Facts. "Yes," said the young man, as he threw himself at the feet of the pretty school teacher, "I love you and uould go to the world's end for you." "You could uot go to the end of tbo world for me, James. The world, as it is called, is round like a ball, slightly tlatteued at tbe poles Oue oi the first lessons in the elementary geography is devoted to the shape of the globe. You must have studied it when you were a boy " "Of course I did, but—" "Aud it is no longer theory. Cir cumnavigators hare established the i fact " "I know, but what I meant was that I would do anything to please you. Ah ! Minerya, if you knew the aching void—" "There is no such thing as a void, James. Nature abhors a vacuum; | but admitting there conld be such a thiug, how could the void yoa ■ speak of be a void if there was an ache in it ?" "I meant to Bay that my life would be lonely without you; that you are my daily thought and my" nightly dream. I would go anywhere to be with you. If you were in Australia or at tbe north pole I would fly to you. I—" " Fly ! It will be another century before men can fly. Even when tho laws of gravitation are successfully overcome there will still remain, says a late scientific authority, the difficul ty of maintaining a balance—" Well, at all events," exclaimed the youth, "I've got a pretty fair balance in the savings bank and I want you to be my wife. There 1" "Well, James, since yoa put it in that light, I—" Let the curtain f|^, Wonderful Faith Cure. Conneautville is not a little excited over a home faith cure, About fivo years ago, Chauncey, a son of Mr. G. F. Hague, who resides near Conne autville, injured tbe socket joint of one of his hips while jumping on the hay mow in his father's barn. The little fellow was about six years old at this time. His parents did not realize that his injury was a serious one until it was too late to remedy it by surgical treatment. For six months the boy was confined to a bed. 3 years after the accident he managed to walk soma but was still badly crippled. A fall compelled him to return to crutches and he has been using them ever since. The injured leg was withered and quite a bit shorter than the other. Abont four weeks ago the lad went to Plerpont to visit his grandparents. Mrs. Ral yea, of Jamestown, was holding faith cure meetings in tbe .place at the time aud the boy's case was made the subjects of prayers. Tbe little fellow says that all of a sudden he felt that the prayers were answored and that he would have no use for his crutches in the future—nor has he. Last week hr. was walking about and handling his injured limb quite readily. He suffers • no pains and is gaining in flesh. The Courier in bringing this case to pub lic notice, says: No attempt is made to enlarge upon any of the state ments, and we give them to our -ead ers as strictly reliable, tbe standing of Mr. Hague in this community being such as to make them beyond ques tion. Medicinal Qualities of Onions. The free use of onions for the table has always been considered by most people a healthy and desirable veget able, and but for their odor, which is objectionable to many, they would be found more generally on our dining tables. For a cold on the chest there is no better specific, for most persons, than well boiled or roasted onions. They may not agree with every one, but to persons with good digestion they will not only be found to bo a most excel lent remedy for a cough, and the clog ging of tbo bronchial tubes which is usually the cause of the cough, but if eaten freely at the outset of a cold, they will usually break up what promised, from the severity of the at tack, to have been a serious one, A writer in one of our medical journals recommended the giving of youug raw onions to tbe children three or four times a week, arjd when they got too large and strong to be eaten raw, then boil and roast them, but not abandon their free use. Another writer, advocating their use, says: During nnhealthy sea sons, when diphtheria and like con tagious diseases prevail, onions ought to be eaton in the spring of the year at least once a week. Onion 3 are in vigorating and prophylactic beyond description. Further, I challenge the medical fraternity or any mother to point out a place where children have died from diphtheria or scarla tina anginosa, etc,, where onions were freely used. A Millionaires Tribulations. Jay Gould, who with Russel Sage Is charged with grand larceny in con nection with the Kansas Pacific con solidation, says the motive of the in dictment is revenge, and that a woman is at the bottom of it. The womaa in the case sought separation from her husband, a railroad friend of Gould, on the ground of infidelity. To prevent the scandal from getting into court the husband threatened to produce counter affidavits, signed by members of the Gould family who lived next door. This induced her to make her to appeal on the ground of simple desertion, to which the hus band did not object, and the divorce was obtained. But she determined to get even with tbe Goulds and in duced a leading Now York newspaper and a cable company to pußh the in dictments. This is tbe railroad magnate's etory. May be it is correct. But it is not to his credit if he played detec tive on his friend's wife even to save that friend from threatened disgrace, and he deserves to be punished. Ho ought to have remembered that hell has "no fury like a woman soorned." member that it ia not what we earn but what we Dave, that makes us rich; Dot what we eat, bat what wo digest that makes UB fat, and not what we read, bat what we remem ber that makes as learned. 0 H. Jackson, ajred 58, and G. A. Jackson, aged 22, the former being the father of the latter, are both ia the present senior class ia Hillsdale College, Mich., and *rill take their diplomas tfcffertwr next Jan*. NO.