VOL. >XV'
KIRK'S
WHITE
mssrn
The only brand of Laundry Soap
awarded a first class medal at the
New Orleans Exposition. Guaran
tccd absolutely pure, and for general
household purposes is the very best
SOAR
111 CHUmi GBICERI
STORE in Butler, three doors west
of West Penn Depot.
Having opened a freUi stock of GROCERIES
t eons sting < f« otlee, Teas. Sucar. Syrup, Spices,
Canned Goods of all kinds. Hams,
Bacon, Lard, &c., &c„
Tobacco and Cigars,
FLOUR oi be«t brands and low prices ; also,
full line of Klmgler's popular brands of familj
floor constantly on hands. ,
HAY. OATS, CORN and FEED of all kinds at
lowest figures.
lfo. l.«*l#,f.ower any other
llouMe in Bnller.
Country Produce ranted lor which the highest
price wilt be paid. Call and examine our stock
and prices
Hoods delivered free to all parts of town.
J.J. KSABNS& CO.,
16 East .Jefferson St, - - Batler Pa
WEST PENN HOUSE.
This hotel. Just across the street from the de
pot. hits been relitted in the new, and I an
again prepared to accommodate the travelling
public.
liiyme ii lit mul
DAY OR WEEK.
Good Rooms, good attention, good slabtinf
rates moderate.
For further information enquire ou tk
premises of
R. B. GILCHRIST, Proprietor
Xhe Reoole's G-reat
EXPOSITION!
itBTSMSIMU
We annouuee to tlie people far and wide that
we will exhibit our collossal aggregation of
gtartllcg wonders, to secure which all parts of
the earth—Europe, Asia, and portions ot tho U
-8. liave been searched, and such an aggregation
.as has never been seen since the day Noah enter
«tl the Ark. The mighty Elephant.the great Rhi
noceros. the Illppopottoinas.the chlmpanzic.the
Ou-rang-outang or run-out-and-stlck-out-your
tongue-out. the greatest living wonders of the
4ge will excite no wonder wnen compared with
the multitude of monster attractions on exhibi
tion at our great moral Circus and Menayerle.
The roars aud hov.is of the would-be coiniietl
torwho Apes the methods, but cries down the
attractions of our own and ouly Greatest Show
on earth will be drowned In the Joyful acclam
ations of a delighted populace. Remember this
show possesses no objectionable features
sitkd Lithe delight of the cultured and refined.
We show under one canopy four great shows,
tue Largest stock—Greatest variety—Best
Good* and styles—Lowest Prices. We have se
cured a magnificent Brass Band which will be
fx prominent feature of o'ir great show. 3 rings
with a fteperate and coutinuoiu performance
being enacted Iu each ring.
NEW AND NOVEL
attractions. 3 .lolly Clowns. Tlie greatest, liv
ing. waUdii« breathing, talking curiosities of
the age- Pl.unuv I'hellow.s—sure to sell you
and all the laugh when they see the bar
xalns- they i.tW. Other and greater attractions
greet the delighted eye 011 everj' side—the Pro
prietor aud Manager, swinging ill the tlving
BMpcze attached to the highest pinacle of suc
eem, give such exhibitions of nerve and daring
In •weeping reductions, gorgeous displays and
wonderful oargaiiw as to call forth the plaudits
of the most prudent ana economical. The man
agement beg Wave to annouuee that in their un
tiring zeal In the search for the rare and curious,
astonishing results have always followed and
we open for your Inspection a collos
sal collect ion of bright and new Fall
Styles in Mens' Boys' and Chlldrens'
nothing. Hats, Caps Underwear. Shirts,
Collars, Cuffs. Ties. Hosiery-.
chlefs.Miifflers. Gloves. Mittens, Cmbrel
'S. Trunks, Vali-ies, Hatehels. Straps,
sli s, Combe, Jewelry, Corsets. Jer
sevs StOv'kings with a full line of Notions, &c.
Bfg bargaiPs all through the show.
Song by the Clown : -
Alen and youtli and boys and^all,
Kliort and So'id.leali and tail.
\\ no need a suit of eioth-.s this fall,
We i!o invite you now to call
For r.'e are rolling on the bail,
And you are sure to make a haul,
Whalevtryou purchase,great or small.
Song 2"What fire the wild waves saying."
Buy vourUiotliing and Furnishing goods of
I). A. IIKCK.
Song :i-ITfr bright smile haunts me sttil,"
The smile of satisfaction that beamed from
the face of the laoy who dressed her little
boy In one ol lleck s lriesl.stable suits.
11 yon w!»-.'t to save ntoney and Increase your
pile dro|>i)iii and C HECK, and he'll make you
all auiUe.
He possesses the power to spread happiness
around.
And his store is the where bargains are
louud.
Doors open at 7A. m. at B'i'. M. Afl
mitUuice. (Jents Free. Ladies nud Children n.tlf |
price. Ueineniher the place.
D. HECK'S,
Xo. 11, North Main St., fluffy'* Bloek,
I
BPTI.ER, - PA.
A J FRANK & CO.
DEALERS IN
DEUGS,
MEDICINES,
AND CHEMICALS,
FANCY AND TOILET AItTICES,
SPONGES, BRUSHES, PERFUMERY. 4c.
r zw-ynjtf>'-\na>f Pres-rlptlons carefully c 0..,-
isjimdwtt, and orders answered with care una
-dispatch. O'ir stock of medicines Is complete
warranted t mttlue, and of the best quality.
45 Scut'i Main Street,
.a'UTLER, •
.iu Aprovi J remedy tor Consumption aud dis
eases of Throat and Lunas.
New Life and follows its use.
Ask for Baker's Oil and Malt, or write to
JNO C. BAKER it CO.,
Philadelphia.
inifEQfiCFttQ or ethirs.whovH-.h to»»omln»
i MlVCil I I®CUd tM» paper,o. obtim MtimatM
• on advartitinc a»t.'. wh«n in Chicago, will find it on fila at
LORO ftTNOIAS.
THE BUTLER CITIZEN.
_D UTISIB X. .
0 1/ WALPRON. Graduate of tiie Pliila
. ft. doiphia Dental College. I s prepared
todoaiijthiut; lu theliue ul liia inoleslun iu ;i
satisfactory mMi ner. .
Office on Main street, 1 utler, Luiou Block
up stair*.
J. S. LUSK,
Has removed from Ilarmonv to Butler and h«s
his cfPce at No. S>, Main St., three doors below
Lowiy House. apr-30-tf.
Dr. S. A. JOHNSTON,
DENTIST, - - BUTLER, PA.
All work pertaining to the profession execut
ed in the neatest maimer.
Specialties Gold Fillings, and Painless tx
traction of Teeth. Vitalized Air administered.
Offlt'e on Jcffer»en Street, one door K«st of Lowrj
Bonne, l°p Stair*,
omce open dailv, except Wednesdays and
Thursdays. Communications by mail receive
prompt attention,
N. B.—The only Dentist in Butler using the
best makes of Ufth.
JOHN E. BYEPvS,
PHYSICIAN ANI) SURGEON
Office No. 65 South Main Street,
BUTLER, - PA.
SAMUEL M. BIPPU3,
Physician acd Surgeon,
No. 10 West Cutninghim St.,
BUTLER. ZPZEITTZSP^-
DR. R. C. McCURDY,
Phjfticlan and Siirgfen,
Office on M iu St., over Kemper's store.
Butler, - IPenn'a.
iinmmut urn,
No. 88 and 90, S. Main St.,
BUTLER) - -
Near New Court House—formerly Donaldson
House—good accommodations for travelers.
Good stuhlirig connected.
[4-9-*xc-lyl II EITKNMI'I.LEIt. Prop'r.
FAW FOBS&LE
In Sugarcreek townslilp. Armstrong county,
near Adams P. 0., one and one-fourth mile east
of the ne v oil development In Sugarcreek twp.
Farm coiitains
100 ACRES,
•Willi tank barn, 32xoc> feet;
BRICK HOUSS.
lß\3o feet. 2 stories, with cellar, frame kitchen,
14xlti feel; ;rood spring of water, f-.irni well wa
tered, good orchard of grafted fruit. Farm in a
good state of cultivation. About
75 ACRES CLEARED,
balance In good tin her. Will sell extremely
low for cash. For particular inquire of
J. R. WICK.
lilmersburff,
ClaitonCo., ''a.
IHE ALLEN PATENT WASHER
Why it is Superior to aii
Others.
| e f ITS being enclosed it retains tlie high
101. temperature so necessary In removing
tho dirt from the goods,
Qnrl THERE being no Friction on tlie
fcllu. clothing to wear it.
Q-H THE peculiar action of the water In the
OrU. Machine (which cannot be understood
unless one sees It) forcing a strong current of
water through the clothing at every vlr brat ion
of the Agitator, (which is caused by ihe peculiar
construction of the top ot tlie .Machine.
All* AND best of ail Is that a child of four years
fill, enn do the work it being 80 light that
the operator sits down while doing It
Machines and County and Township eights
throughout the Stjte of Pennsylvania. Sold by
SHIRA.S & HAYS,
Butler, Fa
8-19-ly
m[ FIRM FOB SILL
111 Franklin twp.. half wav between Prospect
and Wliltestown, oa the Pittsburg and Franklin
road, contains fourteen and a <luarter -icres, lias
good buildings—
A New Frams Hcuss,
Hood bam and all other necessary outbuildings.
Land all level, anil In good state of cultivation,
good well water, loth hard and solt, and iroixt
orchard of all ktnds of fruit. For price and
terms apply to ine at my furniture store iu Pros
peel.
O. M. EDM-UN DSON.
9 -2-3 m
Wanted.
We want a few live men
to take orders for a full line
of choice nursery stock. Our
stock is all selected and guar
anteed first class. We fur
nish a handsome Outfit FREE.
also fruit SAMPI.ES in SEASON.
A WORKER never fails with
us. Don't delay but write at
once for terms, <£*e. to
EDW. O. GRAIIAM,
NURSERYMAN.
Rochester, N. Y.
CHOICE FRUIT
Having taken the agency for the Choice Fruit
.Trees,
Beautiful Shrubbery,
Ornamental Tress,
Aim eveivthlng else In the Nursery line, of the
New Emilaml Nurseries. Chase liros. & Co., V
V.. 1 will call upon yon In the near future and
solicit your orders lor spring delivery.
A- H, FALLER, Agent,
Butlei», » - I?a.
J. IL DOUGLASS,
—DEALER IN
STATIONERY
OF ALL KINDS,
Books and Periodicals,
CHEAP TABLETS,
AND—
Wall Paper,
Eagle Building, Main St.,
BUTLER. - -
2-l-87-ly
M.F.&M. Marks
Invite your inspection ot their
stock of FALL and WIMTEK
Millinery Goods.
Receiving goods every week
their stock is always
FRESH AND COMPLETE.
| KI, ' S . CATARRH
! Cream
Cleanses the WSStMA BNffil
Nasal Passag K, R P^^i5 E S Hr ;«|
es, Allay
pain and In-fcJi AYr £M
11am mati on Eg* . &£riS|
Heals th< 0 -.v' T |f|jj
so res, res to re
the Senses o
T a ste an c u °a. 1
Smell. HAY-FEVER
TIJ Itic cote ILJ's Cstin Balm,
•V panicle is applied into eaoli nostril an ! is
1 agreeable. Price 3> cents at Druggists :by mail,
; registered, GO ci». Circulars free, KL\ BIB»S,
Greenwich St. New York.
BUTLER C<7UNTY
Mutual Fire insurance Go.
Office Cor. Main & Cunningham Sts.
•jr. C. ROESSING, PRESIDENT.
WM. CAMPBELL, TKEASUBER
11. C. HEINEMAN, SECRETARY
DIRECTORS:
J L Purvis, iSamuel Anderson,
William Citmpbell .r. W Burkina!,
A. Ttnutman, Henderson Oliver,
G C. Roesslnsr, .J:im*s Stephenson,
Dr. W. Ixvin. X. Weitzel,
J. F. Taj lor. M. C. Helneman,
LOYAL M'JUNKIN, Gen. As',
BUTLER, PA.
Planing Mill
—ANI>—
Lumber Yard
J. L. PURVI3. L. O. PURVIS,
S.G. Purvis & Co.
MAXPFACTrEKRS AND DEALERS IN
Eoujrh and Planed Lumber
OF EVfiKY description.
FRANKS
MOULDINGS,
SA»H,
DOOIiS,
FIGURING,
SIDiNG,
BATTENS,
Sraekds,Buapd Cornice Boards.
SHINGLES & LATH
PLANING MILL AND YARD
EPTWERIUANCWFBOIU'TJLINRCB
THE CULTIVATOR 10P0
iOuI —ash— 1000
Country Gentleman
THE BEST OF THE
AGRICULTURAL WEEKLIES.
DEVOTED TO
FABJI CROPS AM) PROCESSES.
BOUT ICV L'IT BE & FRl'lT CROW I SC.
LIVE STOCK ami DAIRYIXG.
Wlille It also Includes all minor departments of
Rural interest, such as tho Poultry Yard. I.nto
uiology. Bee-Keeping Greenhouse and Grapery,
Vet"iiiai"y Replies, Farm Questions and An
swers. Fireside Reading. Domestic Kconomy,
aud a summary 01 tne News of the Week. Its
MARKET HEIMKTS are unusually complete, and
much attention is paid to the Prospects of the
Crops, as throwing light upHi one of the most
Important of all (pae:,lions—When to Buy and
When to sell. It I- lii ei aily Illustrated, and by
RECENT ENLARGEMENT, contains more
reading matter Hun ever b< tore. The Subscrip
tion Pi lee Is o per year, but we now offer
a SPECIAL KEDI'CTION ill our
NEW CLUB KATES FOR 1888 !
TWO SI BCKIPTIONS, in one remittance....s «
SIX SUBSCRIPTIONS, do. do 10
.TWELVE SUBSCRIPTIONS, do IS
2 r "To all NEW Subscribers for lWfft, paying in
advance 11 r.v, IVT wiu, RENI> TIIK PAPEK WEEK
LY, from on: KKCIIIT of the remittance, to Jan
uary Ist, !»SI, WITHOUT ('HAKGE.
i Y.SWXIMEX COPIES FREE. Address,
LUTHER TUCKER &, SON. Publishers,
ALBANY, N. Y.
TWO QOOD PAPERS
THE WEEKLY
ChMHICi! TitIGMPI,
SI.(K) A YEAR.
and the
BUTLER CITIZEN,
$1..-.0 A YEAR*
Both Papeis $2 for one Year.
TLo Weekly Chronicle Telegraph
ia au 8-page, sfi column paper, aud
contains choice Original Stories by
best American authors; Fash'on notes
and suggestions for the Household,
by leading writers; Amusements for
the Family Circle, Agricultural notes,
Latest Financial and Market Reports,
General News and a choice selection
of interesting reading for everybody.
Stud a postal card to the Weekly
Chronicle Telegraph, I'ittsburg, Pa.
for a sample copy.
We will send tho CITIZEN and
the Weekly Cbrouicle Telegraph, to
any address in the United States or
Canada, for one year for $2-00
Jury List for November.
List ot Jurors drawn to serve In a special term
-fourt common.'til? the second Monday of
Xrtv. i&W l ; iig tlio nth day, Drawn Aug. 3d
i-sT.
Allison. John N. Center tp. fara»e».
Brown II J, Clay t|>. farpeiie r.
Barnes G J- I'alrvlew tp. laborer.
litirr Joseph, Jefferson tp, farmer.
iiortma.-.s Win, Butler boro Ist precinct. gar-
Uraudon wK . ' to. farmer.
BurtnerWiii, Penn tai ..ic-
Critchlow T J. Prosj«:ct, merchant.
( roft A L. Lancaster tp. farmer,
conway ' llnton. Washington tp. farmer,
Carson W ii, Buffalo tp. farmer.
Dickey J W. Mlppuryruck ti>. farmer.
Daubeuspc k Christ, WtiLlngtfin tp. fanner,
Elliott Thou W. Buffalo I p. tamer,
Fl'-eger W B. Concord tp. farmer.
Filmier Charles, Coiiuo<i' S. farmer.
Gordon .lames. Brady t)>. farmer.
Graham Win. Cranberry tp. farmer.
Graham J ten re tp. farmer.
Ciibb.i Samuel. Karns < ity, laborer,
t jlenn N G, Washington tp. farmer.
ijr "'.Miian AW. slippery rock tp. farmer,
CitM,. John A. worth tp. farmer.
Clliiiore »,.-•>• Mairiosi tp. larnier.
Grant R Al' l g' l ; tv ..a er.
Holland \\ m. sr W tisiilngfon rti. 1 i.ju.t.'
Harmon Frauk. fcuirvUb ip, farmer,
ImanThos. Couconi ip. |.'i;ui;>cr.
Isruan Saw" 1. Jackson W tp. miller.
Irvhi John, Cherry N, farmer.
Jameson W K. Alfeghen} Ip, farmer.
Moore W !!, Worth tp. l'arii.-r.
Million Alex, j.l.id.eseti tp. lajmer.
Wilier Giorge. Claj t-p, farm.r.
MCGDVV.... J,- ■ •tfl, Cotiiioq tp, farmer.
AlcLuuifUluk J p- i tai'mer.
Porter Kerr. Cheirv b. tiu-ni.>
i'lNirec llorncd. (jltti' i tp. f.ir.sjc*.
Patterson A J, Aii'-;-u«uy tp, farmer.
Reed U K, Slippery lock tp, farmer.
Rivers John, sr \\ in Held tp, farmer.
Rosen berry Wm I>, Venango tp, rarmer.
Shaffer Henry, J...:kson tp. farmer.
Holier George, Butler iwro Ist rrecinct, con
tracWr.
smith ii w Ail egheii.vi,,. ;-rnj»r.
smith M 11. Fatrvtew tp, ptoduee*.
Smith Tlios, Parker tp. farmer,
Shelver G w. Butler boro Ist precln;t, printer,
Thompson J) A, Parker tp, farmer.
Thompson hoUm, Clpnrfleld tp, farmer,
Waiters w D. C'l)hloh <P fattier.
Wltzel Mlckoius. Bradv tp, blacksmith
Wiewon W U, Marion tp. farmer,
■Wwtt DavM. Frati kiln tp. farmer,
After Harvest.
AMELIA E. BAKE.
Th * davs of harvest are pist again:
We have cut thecora and boua 1 the
;• heaves,
An • at- e-»'d t'ne apples green and gold,
'Mid the brown ar.J crimson oreli.'r! leaves.
Wi'h a f.owery promise the springtime
came,
With the biiMing birds aui blossoms
s»v«.et:
But othe honey, atid fruit aad '.riae!
And oa! t e joy of the corn aa i wheat!
Wtia wa= the bo mto the apple's ge'n',
And what th • 'Jower to the honeycomb?
What ws s til,: s->ng that sped the plow?
To the joyful song of the Harvest Home'/
So fWL-et, so fair are the days of youth;
So fuil of i rornise, so gay of song:
To the lilt of joy an i the dream of love
Right merrily go the hours i.loug.
Liut yet in she harvest time of life
We I ever wish (or its '■piiug again.
We have tried our strength au-J proved our
heari;
Our hands have gathered their golden tjiiu
We have eateu with Sorrow her bitter
bread,
And Love has fed us with honeycomb.
Sweet JOUCJ, we on nvtr w P I r thee,
When Life had c iuie to iis Harvest Home.
When the apples are red oa the topmost
bough,
We do not think of their blossoming hour,
When the vine hengs .ow wit i its purple
truit,
We do not long for its pate green flower.
So, then when hopes of our spring at last
Are found la the Iruit of ih- busy brai".
In heart's sweet lore and the bauds' brave
toil.
We shall not wish lor our youth again
Ah, no! we shall say with a giad content;
"After the years of our hard unVest,
Thank God for our ripened hopesatid toils!
Thank. God, the Harvest of Like is best."
—lndependent.
A GIRL CRUSOE.
Thrilling Experience Of a Mis
sionary's Daughter.
Amonar the forthcoming fall publi
cations of a well kuown eastern pub
lishing house is a book which promi
ses to be replete with interest, enti
tled "Misssionary Life and Labors
in the South Sea Islai ds." It is the
production of Miss Haunah Duretan,
a young lady who has spent her en
tire life among the scenes which she
describes, and who is now actively
engaged in the work of promulga
ting the gospel among the idol wor
shippers and pagans of the far-away
isles of the ocean. Miss Durstan is
now eojouroing in San Francisco
with friends. She has left her field
of labor in the Fiji Islands to jour
ney to New York and arrange for the
early publication of her work, in
which she takes much pride Iu her
island home Miss Durston is often
familiarly called by her frieuds the
' Youug Crusoe Missionary." To
the Call reporter who visited her the
other eveniug at her cozy quarters at
630£ McAllister street, Mi.-s Durston
related the sad story of how she came
to earu this title. She prefaced her
narration by a short biographical
sketch of herself aud a description of
the missionary work of her parents
The fair young authoress was bom
in the Tientsin District, China, iu
October, 185*>. Her father was en
gaged iu Gospel labors 1 here at tho
time The climate did not agree
with Mrs. Durston, aud while llan
uah was yet young the family re
moved to the Sandwich Islands,
where Mr Durston, in company with
a lamilv named Johauusen, carried
on mission work. The Durstons e
ventuallv, iu 1874. settled in the is
land of Vita Lt;vu, one of the Fiji
group "Up to this time," said Miss
Durston. "1 had beeu as happy as
any child possibly could be. 1 was
a great favorite with the natives
wherever we went, uud learned their
language thoroughly. Besides, fa
ther aud mother took great pains to
teach me everything, so my educa
tion was not neglected. I was now
old enough to realize the value of my
parent's labors, aud I began to take
a great iuterest in religious matters.
Iu as able a manner as I knew how
I talked with the worshippers of
idols and tried to impress up ;ti them
the teachings of Christiauty.
"It was on a Christmas day that I
remember so well my father telling
mother that hp had decicd to change
his re.'dence to the Islaud ot Karda
vu, and there work in harmony with
the Wesleyan ministers, who are nu
merous ou that island. We made
the change ero another month had
gone by. I did not like Ivardavu al
though there is a pretty biy and
some fine island scenery. We lived
in a hut made of cane, Beyr-ral miles
from where the colony was located.
"It was very louesome, and many
of the natives hud ugly dispositions.
They professed disgust and contempt
opeuly for tho missionaries. Moth
er's soft and kiud wajs seemed to
have no effect upon them, and quite
frequently they stole things from us
Theft I wiil say though, is not a
common practice anion the Fijians.
One day father reprimanded a sub
chief called Ko-Ko for stealing a
jack knife, and in reply the chief
threatened to wreak vengeance on
us. Father had but little fear of him
doiug anything, but two days after
wards a frieudly native came aud
told us that Ko-Ko und some of his
friends would pay us a visit that
night and probably murder father
and mother and carry me into capti
vity, for Ko-Ko bad an evil and li
ceniiouß disposition.
"Father became alarmed at this
As the beach was near we resolved
to take a few things and seek safety
on the ocean in our Urge bark canoe
until the next day, as Ko Ko aud his
men would surely be on tho lookiut.
From the door of our but to tno san
dy beach was only a few steps
llere was our eauoe, which father us
ed iu visiting adjacent islands. Iu
the bow was a capacious locker,
where food and a few other necessa
ries could be kept. Toward sunset
we hastened to the beach, placed our
things iu the looker, and pushed the
canoe into the water. Ii would seem
that wo weff.' none top soon ia get
ling awj}', for ti:o cauoa was hardly
a hiinrired feet from the beach when
the treacherous Ko Ko and six others
came bounaiug to the water's, edtre.
brandishing their spears at us iu a
threatening fashiou - They hud visi
le 4 luc ."nd found that we had
goaa. ICo-110, with ti,i
Burled a spear at us, but it fell short
uud dropped iuto the water. Father
breathed a fervent prayer over our
uerrow escape and hoisted a sail up
ou the slender mast. Uuder the im
petus of a {jeutle breewe the canoe
eoou left tbe shore far behind.
"Motber and I wraped ourselves
up iu blanket# at fathtr's request and
IV TL'R, pi. t FRIDAY, NOV KM H li li.!S>7
lay down in the bottom ■«( ttie canoe
to re?t while he watch *d. It wa?
6ome time before the lapping of the
water against the sides of the canoe
lulled me to *leep I do DO! know hu\v
long I aiutubered, but I was aroused
by a sh-trp err from father and a
tearful tossing of the canoe. My
mother was already sitting up The
stars which Lad studded the sky
when I d"Z-d OFF were obscured by
black tna?ses of clouds, gusts of wind
were shritkiug ia a dismal way
about us and the waves were larjre
and high, at rimes rolling into the
canoe. \V« knew that one of those
terrible storms which up so
suddenly ia the islands was abjut to
break upon us
"God help U3," murmured my
father reverently, end he offered up a
prayer for our deliverance 1 shall
never forget what followed. The
black clouds seemed to open aud
belch out Gre and let loose batteries
of thunder. Tue shrieking wind h:td
the velocity ef a gale, and the canoe
was tossed like a chip upon the tops
of angry white waves that gleamed
like the white fangs of a devouring
monster. The sail was reut asunder
and the rain began to f our down iu
torrents. Neither father nor mother
lost their self possession. They com
menced to pray again and i joined
ia It was all that ci.uld be done.
We clasped hands aud crouched
dov, n to await the inevitable
"isuddenly above the roar of the
thunder we could distinguish a con
linoua rumbling sound
"Those are the breakers and we
will soon be an.oug them,' whisper
ed father, adding words of comfort
at Ije same time. It did not look as
though our canoe would ever reach
the breakers, as it was ia danger of
upsetting each moment, the waves
becoming wilder all the time. Our
condition was truly miserable. O!
I cannot dwell upon it! My dear
mother's pale face rises before me as
she leaned down and kissed me. but
said not a word. The next thirg I
remember is a deafening crash and a
sharp cry from mother. I was struck
by something aud consciousness left
me. I can recollect opening my eyes
as if from a profound sleep. The sua
was smiling dowa from a blue and
cloudless sky. 1 raised myself and
saw the oceau at my feet. It was as
placid as a lake. I was lying on the
wet beach not three feet from where
the waves were rippliug on the sand
My clothes were dripping wet. The
occurences of the storm came to me
like an electric shock. My first
thoughts were regarding father u,nd
mother. Were they safe or?— but
I reached tho horrible alternative!
About thirty feet away I saw the ca
noe cast high and dry upon the
beach. Its side was stove ia where
it bad struck the rock. Running up
to it I saw it was empty. Along the
btretch o! beach uo other object was
discernible.
"I eyed the expanse of water and
percived a dark object bobbing up
aud down iu the surf. A closer view
revealed what caused my blood to
almost freeze iu my veins. That
which was the sport of the waves
were the bodies of my dear parents.
They were clasped together
Overcoming ti.e feeling of
horror and sickness that came
over me I dashed into the water up
to my waist, and, with almost super
human strength, b/ought out the bo
dies from tho waves. Dragging
them to a dry spot I fell over the
cold forms in a deadly faint. I re
covered my senses only to faint
again. I will uot dwell upon what
followed. I sobbed and moanad
where I lay all day and night, and
prayed that I might die beside my
father aud mother. The following
day I was calmer, and using one of
broad bluded oars of the canoe, which
I 'ou'id under one of the seats of the
yeesel, I dug a deep hole in the sand,
and laid the bodies of my faiher and
mother in the graye. I was so stun
ued and overcome with anguish that
the occurences of the two or three fol
lowing days are dim in my tuemoty.
I know I found sorno water-soaked
food in the locker of the canoe, and
that I waded out to the reefs at low
tide and gathered shell fish. In a
grove of cocoanut trees near the
shore 1 discovered a spring of fresh
water. As streugth returned to me,
I resolved to explore tho vicinity
and see if I could learn where I was
Being afraid of meetfug hostile na
tives, I acted with great caution,
moving stealthily through the palm
groves.
"At night I laid down in some
sheltered nook and ust d fern leaves as
a protection against the damp dews.
Four days passed and I learned that
I was ou a small island, which ap
peared to be uninhabited except bv
a nasty looking species of bat and
small pigs aud rats. The were
wild and savage, and I had to evade
them to keep from being attacked.
My ouly sustenauce was cocoa nuts
aud a species of wild berries. The
uuts I found on the ground, where
they bad falieu during storms. Ac
cording to my reckouiug about three
months of this monotonous existence
passed away. My clothes were
worn into tatters. Every morning I
bathed iu the sea aud made a frugal
meal on fruit. The rest of the day
I spent ia exercise aud reading a
stained copy of the Bible which 1
found in the locker of the canoe, I
did not fail to place fresh greens on
my parent's grave The cauoe when
turned over made a comfortable abid
ing place at night, I crawliug in
through a hole ia the side. There
were threa storms dining my stay
there. Of course I was drenched
I think that if my existence as a
Crusoe had lasted much longer I
would either have gone crazy of
died As it was, the pons >latiou af
forded one by reading the bible gave
me strength
"Oue day I saw a party of natives
land from a canoe. I hid and watch
ed them, aud soon recognized among
them several friendly faces I hud
seen at the Wesleyan Seool at Kar
davu I called to them, aud on cotu
ingjup they knew me. I cannot tell
yo;j ho\y glud ! was to be taken in
their canoe to the colony at Ivaud i
vu, where I was heartily welcomed
The deepest reg et was expresed
over the fate of my poor parents.
That is all I have to say iu relation
to tho subject* I deter iued to fol
low un the good work of my father,
and I think i have been s-veessf'ul
Tho treacherous Ko Ko was bauish
ed from the islaud and died i:i a lep
rosy colony a year or so afterward.
I had my parent's remains removed
from tho lom ly island aad daceatly
interred at K tnd tvu "
—lied jackets are tho latest lash
jonuble c/ajse,
A Low Price.
Ministers tn«pt with
amusing as well as pathetic circum
stances in the performance of their
parishional duties. The pivmentof
the wedding fee is one of the most
trying things to the reverend peutle
man's gravity, when it is made by a
certain class of men whos°em to have
uo original ideas on th* -u'ije<;t.
The following incident was related
by a minister's wife, and occurred in
one of the manufaeturitg towus of
Massachusetts:
Ou one of the wildest of mi l-winter
nights, about nine o'clock, when we
were just thinking of putting out the
lights and retiring, there came a furi
ous pull at the bells.
"Who can that* be this time of
night?" said my husband.
"Go and see for yourself," I an
swered,
"Good evenin', parson, I heard a
i3eep voice utter as the door ope :ed
"Purty powerful storm aout, aiu't it?
Guess you wasn't lookiu' for callers
sich a night, was you ?"
By this time the parlor door was
opened,aud there eatered a tall,gaunt,
laatern-jawed man of some forty years
of age, and a little fidgety woman
wrapped to the eyes iu shawls and
veils.
They both seemed very much
abashed at mv presence aud to my
remarks about the weather, aud my
questions about the warmth of the
room, whether it was comfortable,
they answered ia the merest mono
syllab es
I succeeded, however, in unwrap
ping the poor little woman, and the
conversation grew less and less,while
they both sat bashfully side by side,
seeming at a loss how to proceed
with their important business.
At last the man twisted himself to
edge of his chair and leaning toward
his companion said:
"Shall I tell tne person what we
come over here fer, Melindy?"
"Yes, tell him, oleourse," she an
swered.
"We are come to—to git married.
You see Meliudy an' me'sbeen keep
in' company goia' on tew years last
Christmas, an' she says how aa we
might jest as we 1 git married right
away, an' she r d do without a trossy.
So I said that right ttway means to
night, an'so I got the license and
here we be Melindy air you ready,
old girl ?»
It did not take many moments to
make them mau aud wife, and when
the last words of prayer dropped
from my husband's lips, the newly
made groom crammed one of his
horuy bands deep iuto his pocket,and
pulling out a handful of coiu asked:
"What's yer price for sich a job? "
"Oh, I always leave that matter to
the generosity ot the parties concern
ed "
"Well, 3ay, look a here (in an un
dertone aud turning his back to me.)
do you tbiuk you could git along
with a dollar au'and a half?"
Here Meliudy pulled his coat tail
aud whispered:
"Say a dollar an' a quarter, Sam !
That is a great pienty "
Then all was silent for five min
utes, iu which"Sam"counted out a dol
lar aud a quarter iu one, two, three
and five cent pieces, aud at my hus
band's direction, emptied the pile in
to my lap
1 asked them to sit down and get
warm before goiug home, which they
did.
I noticed that the bride was breath
ing very heavily, uud 1 asked her if
she had a cold.
Ob, notbiu' but the azmy. I've
been half dead witb it nigh unto five
year. Sam thinks mebbe if I quit
working in the mill I'll git better of
it I think myself beiu' married will
be good fer me "
When they departed Sam told us
where they were to live, aud insisted
on us calling to see them. So one
day when we were driving past their
home 1 went in a moment.
They had beeu married only six
months, but it seemed to me Melindy
had growu much older and had the
most uuhappy air about her conceiv
abl. As soon as she had greeted me,
she began pouring out her woes into
mv ears
Oh, if I'd a' known what it was he
was briugiu' me to, I'd a'come to live
with him an' to be oue of his family.
Why, he told me married life was
Farrydise on earth, so he did, an' I
never kuowed as how he'd been mar
ried four times,and hat! a lot a' youug
uns scattered all over creation be was
a-goiu' to have me take care of. liut
after we had got down to housekeep
ie' thev all came home, aud umong
'em his sister's two young uus,
That's one of 'cm beating the dishpau
with the poker. He's the strongest
six-year old you ever see. He's beat
everything iu the the house to flin
ders But the wost of all is Sam
takes a dram now au' then,aud comes
home so cross an' ugly I don't what
to do 1 An' Sally Ann,by his second
wife, is a stuck up thing and mocks
me when I get to wheezin' unusual
An'my agony ain't no littler, and be
side that I'm gettiu' a weak back
1 promised you I'd come to church,
but such people as I hain't time for
much religion."
Here the six-year old got into trou
ble with the cat, which objected to
being pulled from under the stove by
the tail, and Melindy flying to tue
rescue, I made my escape.
I'oor Meliudy, with no time for re
ligion ! Who could have greater
need for it than just such poor strug
gling souls as you ?
I told the state of affairs to my bus
baud svbo remarked that he thought
that marriage tie was hardly worth
even a dollar and a quarter, at least
to ono of the pat ties.
Couldn't be Fooled a Second
Time.
An enterprising firm in Ehnira has
recently stationed in the trout door
certain dummy figures which are at
tired iu full dress suits, aud they look
very humau. A few days ago a
countryman approached one of them,
and, extending the baud, said "How
dy-do " The dummy neither seized
the proffered hand nor smiled an ac
knowledgement o' the salute. The
boys iu the house .AUgbed, und the
couutryman, seeing that bo was
"sold," walked en dowu the street.
A few door below a stiff young man,
dreaming perhaps about his best girl,
was standing with his features fixed
and his back against tho door facinx
The country mau cast an inquiring
telauee into his face aud tbeu slapped
him ou the b,;ad, remaining contempt
uously, "Here's aaothor oao of them
damphools !"
Returning a Favor.
A tinker was traveling in a coun
try town and, having traveled many
miles without finding anything to tfo
he stopped weary and hungry, at a
tavern. Here he got into conversa
tion with a glszier, to whom he relat
ed his troubles The latter sympa
thized with him deeply, aad. telling
him be should have a job before long,
advised him to go to his diuner aud
eat heartily. The tinker took bis ad
vice, ate heartily, and, when h* re-
I turned to the bar room, he was over
joyed to hear that the landlord requir
ed his services to mend a lot of pius
and kettles which bad suddenly
"sprung a leak." The tinker was at
once set to work, accomplished the
task, received a liberal sum in pay
ment, and started on his way rejoic
ing. Upon reaching the outside of
the house, he found the glazier, who
said, "Well, you see I told you the
truth. I procured you a job; and how
do you think I accomplished it?"
"I am sure I cannot tell," replied
the tinker. "I will tell you," rejoin
ed the glazier. You told me you
were weary, hungry and dinnerleas
I knew the landlord was well off, and
doing a good business, and so I
watched the opportunity, and started
a leak in every uteDsil I could get
hold of." The tinker, with many
thanks, and a heart full of gratitude,
resumed his journey But he had
not proceeded many yards before h«
reached the village church, when a
brilliant idea struck him; the glazier
had befriended him; he would be
friend the glazier. The church, he
thought, could afford to bear a slight
loss in a good cause; so, taking up a
position where he could not be seen,
he riddled most of the windows in
the eaiSce with stones, and then
highly elated with his exploit, here
traced bis steps to notify the glazier
he would speedily have aa important
job. "Gluzier," said he, "I am happy
to inform you that fortune has ena
bled me to return the kinduess 1 re
ceived lrorn you an hour since."
"How so?" asked the glazior, pleas
antly. "I have broken nearly all the
windows, in the church," said the tin
ker, "and you, of course will be em
ployed to put them in agaiu." The
glazier's jaw fell, and his face assum
ed a blank expression as he said, in a
tremulous tone, "You don't mean
that, do you?" "Certainly," replied
the tinker; there's not a whole pane of
glass in most of the windows. Oae
good turn deserves another, you
know." "Yes," answered the gla
zier, in despair; "but, my dear fellow,
you have ruined me, for I keep the
church windows iu repair by the
year!"
Tlie Latest Swindle.
A reputable citizen cf the county
writes us, that not many days ago a
man took a large load of grain to a
mill iu this county to have it ground.
Thinking he would be compelled to
remain sometime he put bis horses
iulo the mill shed and g.ive them a
half bushel of oats iu the feed boxes
prepared for that purpose. He then
weut iuto the mill, but immediately
returned to get a bag, when he beard
his horses pawing as though tbev
were wautiug something to eat. He
weut to their heads, aud what was
his astonishment to find their oats all
gone. He tbeu began to investigate,
and he found that the boxes had
false bottoms. As soon as the horses
put their noses iuto the oats it press
ed the bottom of the box down so
that the oats would run through into
another box, the bottom of which
wan filled with augur holes. From
this box the oats would ruu down into
a long trough where they were access
ible to the miller. Often last winter
the poor horses that were hauling
logs were supposed to be fed in this
| shed, and the thief who robbed the
uoble animals of their food ought to
be punished if there is any law to
reach him—McKean Co. Miner.
Etiquette by the Hired Girl.
"Madame," he began aa the door
opened, "I am selling a new book ou
etiquette and deportment "
"Oh, you are!" she responded.
"Go dowu there oa the grass aud
clean the mud off your feet."
"Yes 'em. As I was saying,
ma'am, I am sell—"
"Take off your hat! Never ad
dress a strange lady at the door with
out removing your hat."
''Yes'em. Now, then, as I was
saying—"
"Take your bands out of your
pockets! No gentleman ever carries
his hands there."
"Yes'm. Now, Ma'am, this work
on cti— '
"Throw out vour cud. If a gen
tleman uses tobacco he is careful uot
to disgust others by the habit "
"Yes'em. Now, Ma'am, in calling
your attention to this valuable—"
"I'ut that dirty handkerchief out
of sight and use less grease on your
Imir. Now you look half way decent
You have a book on etiquette aud de
portment. Yery well. I don't want
it. lam only the hired girl. You
can come in, however, aud talk witb
the lady of the house. She called me
a liar ibis morning, aud I think she
ueeds something ol the kind."
Thought He Was Too Personal.
A housemaid, after being a short
time iu her place, gave warning.
Her mistress usked her what she had
to fiud fault with; was the work too
hard, or what? No, she bad nolh'ng
to complain of on that score, but she
could not stand being prayed at by
the master at morning prayers.
Mistress (loquiture) What on
earth do you mean, Mary? your
master tioos uot pray at any one.
"Oh. yes, he does, marm; he prays
at me every day, aud I wout stand it
any longer."
"What does he say, then?"
"Why, he says, 'O Lord, who
hatest nothing but the housemaid.' "
Mistress, after a little reflection
and further inquiry, ascertains that
Mary has tbi}3 interpreted "Oh Lord,
who hatest nothing that Thou hast
made."
—Oh! ye who teach the ingenious
youth ot our great nation, let him
leiirn the noble art of self-defense, as
Salvation Oil is Ihe specific for hurts.
Little Anuie yesterday told us, in
her way what a good medicine Dr
Bull's Cough Syrup is; it bad cured
her of a very severe cold.
Before you mention the fact
that a pig has no use for bis tail,
just remember that yott wear two
buttons on tue lower back of your
ooat ibat dout button anything- It's
all do'ue Wr tftyte. ,
Fatal Accident at Federal St.
Crossing.
Death, a long-expected occupant of
the locomotive piiot, rode iu up >□ en
gine No 3S" at the Federal >'r.<*t
eroding of the Pittsburg, Fort
Wayne aad Chicago Rai way ia Al
legheny, la-t Thursday evening, tuk
iug away the lif* from the manly idol
of a beu iful home, aud terminating .
the earthly CX'SUJUCO of a beloved sis
t"r of two of Pittsburg's prominent
business men John M Culp. toilet
of the Odd Fellows' Savings Bank,
' aud M isa Harriet Weyman were al
| most instantly killed while on their
I way home in a Pittsburg, Allegheny ,
and Manchester street car about fi
; o'clock that evening,
j Ou the car were Mr. Gregg, of La-:
j gan, Gregg & Co , Councilman Thos ,
i Parke, Howard Williams and a nuin- i
J ber of other promicent citizens At
I the rear end ot the car were seated,
|on either side, Mr John M Culp,
teller in the Odd Fellows' National
Bank, and Miss Harriet Weyman,
sister to the tobacconist of that name.
Mr Culp was dressed in his bast
clothes. He was going to a euchre
party, given on Western avenue by
his brother-in-law, Charles E. Lie,
where his wife already was, and he
had been detained at his office, and
was rather hurried. Miss Weyman
had started out that alternoon to do
some shopping She had been at
Home's and McClintock's purchasing
a number of articles, and now, with
her little hand-satchel resting on her
lap, she was preparing to return to
her home. 183 North avenue.
The driver of the car whipped up
the horses as he passed the bridge,
aud started briskly up Federal street
When within a few yards of the Fed
eral street crossing of the Pittsburg,
Fort Wayne aud Chicago railroad
the warning rings of the lowering
safety gates was heard, and the driver
slopped the street car with the noses
of tbe horse right at the gates. In a
minute a short construction train
bearing the debris of some wrecked
Cir passed west, though running on
the east-bound truck. The old gate
keeper, Patrick Tarr," with his luzy
swiuging lantern, stood by the gate
holding it open for the construction
tiaiu to pass, while bis Assistant, Mr.
Cunningham, stood looking on in 'he
littly watch house. In the space of a
mmute the train sped quickly by and
while Cunningham raised tbe safetv
gatts Tarr slowly closed the yard en
trance With a crack of his whip,
street car driver Carrol started No
23 across the track. Happening to
gaze down toward the West Penu
track he gave a cry of horror, which
was echoed from the pejple in the car
Within a few yards of the streetcar,
was time-freight No. 337 —Alexander
Mackain, engineer—with a draft of
tweutv-seven cars, speeding towards
them at the rate of leu miles an hour.
Carrol tcuve his team a terrific cut aud
they fairly jumped across the track
Everybody in the car arose to their
feet,to be thrown dowu in en instaut,
aud then, ere auyone could think how
it was, there was a crash at the rear,
tbe car was thrown from the track at
the rear end Auotber crash and si
lence. The moment the car stopped
it was seen that two of the passeugera
were missing. They were Mr Culp
and Miss Weyman. The great
freight had stopped, but every wheel
on six cars was red with human blood
and torn clothes were scattered every
where. The engine had broken the
gate at Ihe yard entrance and about
twenty feet inside, ground into an un
recognisable mass of mud, clothes aud
humanity, J. M Culp's body lay iu
front of the cowcatcher, while his
right arm A'as bick in the middle of
the street. He bad evidently seeu
the approachiug train, aud springing
to his feet attempted to escape out
the back door and was knocked off by
tbe collision right under the wheels
of the car. His right arm was cut off
and then dragged twenty feet, while
his head and body was crushed into a
pulp.
Miss Weyman also rushed out on
the rear platform and met her death
She was knocked off, but fell with her
bead resting on the track, which was
struck by the front wheel and split
right in the center, cutting her brown
hair as neatly as possible, Her left
foot was also on the rail. It was al
so split in two up to her aukle. Her
forehead also bad a deep ugly gash,
deep into her braiu. She wore a
double set of false teeth, and they bad
been dislocated by the shock, comiug
half out of her mouth when a wheel
crushed them through her upper lip
and making a solid bloody mass
which lay by her side. Her little
satchel was absolutely torn to shreds,
and the only vestige by which to
identify her was a reeking handker
with the initials E P. on one corner.
Extraordinary Attempt at
Suicide.
An unknown mtm jumped from tbe
top of tbe Arc de Triouiphe, wbieb in
almost 200 feet in height, in Paris
last YVeduesday. Before taking tbe
leap be swallowed a strong dose of
poison. Tbe determined efforts of
tbis would-be suicide to put an end
to bis life were, however, doomed to
disappointment. "£la If way down a
friendly projecting Qook caught bin
trousers and arrested bis fall. He
hung there, suspended in mid nir by
bis nether garmeuta, for a lull hour
before tt was possible to rescue bim
from his somewhat, awkward posi
tion Ou beiug tuken to the hospi
tal it was fouud that he had sustain
ed no injury from his fall, and the
strong antidotes applied speedily
counteracted tbe effects of the poi
son he had swallowed. He absolute
ly ref tsea to disclose hia name.
She Got the Flour.
A bright little woman recently
gave ber forgetful busbmd the fol
lowing letter, with instructions that
it should not be opened until be got
to bis place of business: "I am forc
ed to tell you something that I know
will trouble you, but it is my duty to
do so. lam determine 1 you shall
kuow it, let tbe result be what it
may. 1 have knowu for a week that
this trial was cooling, but I oannot
keep it any longer. You must not
oeusure mo too harshly, for you must
reap the results as well as myself.
I hope it won't crush you." Hire
be turned over the next page, bis
hair slowly risiuir. '"The (lour is
out; please send ma tUid after
noon. J thought that by tins meth- j
oii you would not forget it." Tni :
husband telegraphed forthwith for a i
barrel of tbo bj&i li u o bj dj'ut i
Bdroe ujstuuter. 11
A Certificate of Character.
The editor of a Virginia paper in
vindica i'i<> the private character of a
friend who had been arrested for the
crime of sheep S'"alinir defended hiin
as follow-): "We have known Mr.
Thomas for twelve years, Oar ac
quaintance commenced with the equi
noctial storm which blew down oar
g andlatber's barn. At this time he
was a young man in tbe prime of life,
and, we biuk. raisen the best mar
rowfat peas thit w.) ever ate. He
was a good unth-matician, kind to
tbe p>or aud bid fits In ail the re
lations of husband, father, uncle and
trustee of common lands he has fol
lowed the direct standard of duty.
Mr. Thomas is at this time 43 years
of age, slightly marked with the
small pox, an estimable citizen, a
church member, and a man of known
integiity for ten years He doesn't
kno.v enough to steal sheep."
Chaffed the Wrong Man.
A citizen who had just laid down
S9OO for a epaa of carriage horses
was driving out Woodward avenue
the oiher day when he met a farmer
coming with a load of apples. De
siring to chaff the stranger a bit, he
drew up and inquired:
"Say, how'll you trade teams?"
The farmer halted, got down from
bis vehicle, looked the team oyer,
and slowly replied :
'•Wall, by gosh I"
"What's the matter ?"
"If you hadn't stopped me, I
wouldn't have known the team."
"Did you eyer see these horses be
fore ?"
"Did I ? Why I raised 'em ! Sold
'em both to a horse-trader in town
three weeks ago. That nigh one has
the heaves, and the other one is a
cribber and has two spavins. I'll
trade you for $75, and that's allow
ing $25 apiece more on your horses
than I got."
The owner of the "spankers"
hasn't seen a peaceful hour since that
meeting.— Detroit Free Press.
A Snoring.
Gertrude Kingr, the principal wit
ness at the Coroner's inquest on Mrs.
.Ime Haag, who drowned herself
Friday nt Adrian, Mich., caused a
long wait Saturday. She took tbe
stand and immediately fell into a
deep sleep. A snore was the indica
tion to tbe officers that she was
not awake. The snore was repeated
with increased energy. A woman
companion was shocked and gave the
snoring beauty a vigorous nudge.
It had no effect and she slept on,
snoriug louder and louder every min*
uto. At last tbe officers took a hand
aud tried unsuccessfully to rouse her.
They shook her, stuck pins in her
and pulled her hair without avail,
and liually sat down to await her
waiiiug. The time dragged by, and
tbe case waited while the girl slept as
souudly and beautifully as if she was
iu her bed.
It was 4 o'clock when she went to
sleep and at 11 she was still sleeping,*
Theu the Coroner adjourned the in
quest for the day, and left the officer
to watch the girl. It has since been
learned tha". she is given to taking
naps of from 20 to 25 hours' duration.
The Better Way.
A gentleman who had a little
daughter of a very inquisitive turn of
miud invited a friend to dine with
him. It chanced that the friend bad
just been divorced from his wife, and
little Annie, who bad heard some
thing about it, was curious to know
m ore.
" Why didn't you bring your wife
with you, Mr Todd?" asked Annie
when they were all seated at the ta
ble.
The guest blushed and stammered,
and said that be hade't any now.
Then Annie,in spite of admonitory
scowls from her papa and mamma,
contiuued:
"What did you get divorced from
her for?"
"Well, Annie, don't yon think it
is better," asked Mr. Todd, "when
two people can't live happily togeth
er that they should separate ?"
"No. I don't," answered the child;
"I think it is better to light it oat;
that's the way my papa and mamma
do."
An Opportunity Unimproved.
She stood in tho press room of the
country daily, where the agile "fly"
of the press was slapping down the
papers with admirable precision, She
was a motherly looking creature,with
a blue cotton umbrella
"That 'fly' delivers tho papers at
the mte of fifteen hundred an hoar,"
modestly remarked the proud proprie
tor
"Fifteen hundred an hour!" she ex
claimed, "Mercy on us! you don't
meau ii!" And then, moved b 7
motherly instinct she added: "What
a place to spauk a baby!"
No Chance for Prohibition.
Omaha Prohibitionist—My friend,
i hope we will have your help in our
prohibition campaign.
Way back Native No, siree.
Tbere ain't no autidote for rattlesnake
biles except whiskey, an' I ain't goin'
to vote wbifkey out of reach in case
of emergency I tell you."
"But, sir, there are uo rattlesnakes
in vour section."
"No. but we're goin' to import
some right off."
—Contentment is a pearl of great
price, and whosoever procures it at
the expense of ten thousand desires
makes a wise aud happy purchase.
—A fashionable lady, in boasting
of her new "palatial residence," said
that the windows were all of stained
glass. That's to bad!" cried her
mother; "but won't soap and turpen
tine take the stains out?"
An lowa girl who was voted the
ha-udsooicst lady in the county faint
ed away three times in succession
when the joyful uews was brought to
her. A different man caught her each
time.
—This country consumed eighty
one and one-half tons of quinine dur
ing th'! last year. And yet even that
great dose was not able to keep the
country from shaking.
There are now cables on almost
every sea and ocean bed, the total
length of wire laid being nearly 113,»
000 nautical miles. There are nine
cables connecting Europe with Amer
ica, the first that was laid dating
from 1638.
NO. 1