VOL. XXIV. Auditor's Notice. In the matter of the) In the Orphans' Court partition of the real | of Butler County at estate of John Vandl-)• No 1, June Term, vort, late of Oranber-1 1837. ry twp., dee'd. J In re petition of H. Kleber and August Kleber for leave to pay money Into Court. And now. June 7, 1887, petition presented and the petitioners are directed to pay Into the Orphans' Court the principal of the sum mentioned, and W. 11. Lusk, Esq., is appointed an Auditor to make distribution of the same among those entitled thereto, and report such distribution to Court. Br THE CorBT. Butler Co. SS: Certified from the record this 7th day of June, 1887. H. MCELVAIN. Clerk. The undersigned hereby gives notice that he will attend to the duties of the above appoint ment at his ofllce in But'.er. Pa., on Tuesday, the stli day of July. 1887. at to o'clock a. in.. when and where all parties interested may at tend If they see proper, June 17. 18*7. W. 11. Lrst, Auditor. Administrator's Notice. Letters of Administration having been grant ed to the undersigned on the estate of Franklin Klsher, late of Allegheny township, dee d, uotlce Is hereby given to all parties knowing them selves Indebted to said estate to make immedi ate payment, and those having claims against said estate to present them duly authenticated for settlement. BARBARA FISUKK.I AC I MRA W. A. KISHKB. ( Sandy Point. Butler Co., Pa. A. E. Ilelber, Att y, Administrators' Notice. ESTATE OF R. M. HARBISON. DEC'D. Whereas letters of administration have been granted t>v the Register of Butler county. I a., to the undersigned on the estate of It, M. llai - bison, late or Buffalo twp.. Butler county. Pa., dee'd, all persons who know themselves in debted to said estate will make immediate payment, and those having claims against the same will present.them properly authenticated for settlement to the undersigned, J. 11. HARBISON, JOHN HARBISON, FKESPOIIT. P, 0.. PA. Administrators. EBTATE OF tIIBISTOPIIEB HrMICIUEL, LATE OF CLAY TOWNSHIP, DEC'D. Letters testamentary on the estate of Christopher McMicbael, dee'd, late of Clay township, tiutlei county, Pa., having been granted to the undersigned. All persons knowing themselves indebted to said estate, will pleas® make immediate payment, and any having claims against said estate, will present them duly authenticated for settle ,Uent" JAPIIIA McMICHAEL, Ex'r. EUCLID P. 0., Butler Co. Pa. Executors' Notice. Letters testamentary having been the undersigned on the estate ofhobert cesser, deceased, late of \V lutl.in twp., Butl< r CoTVa., all persons knowing tnemseHesi in debted to said estate will make Immediate pa) - ment, and those having claims against said es tate will present the same proper 1;> authenticat ed for settlement nESSELfiESSER>> DAVID HESSELGESSER./ Ex'rs. April 18. 'B7. Leasurevllle, Butler Co.. la. Partition Notice. 0.C.N0 01 .March 1887. In re thepetition of Jas I). Fowser for partition of estate of Sa rah IJ. Fowzcr, dee'd. And now to-wit, June 7, A. D., 1887. ser vice having been accepted tor all the heirs and legal representatives of Sarah B. Fowzer dee'd, except Henrietta*pwzer, whose resi dence is nuknown. On motion of Messrs. Williams & Mitchell the Court is requested to order publication requiring the said Hen rietta Fowzer to appear and show cause why partition of real estate of Sarah B. Fowzer should not be made accor ing to law. WILLIAMS & MITCHELL, Att'ys. June 7, 1887, motion granted. BY THE COI BT. THK COMMONWEALTH OK PEKN'A, ) COCNTY OF BUTLER, J ' To Peter Kramer, High SherifF of Butler Connty, Greeting: We command you that you make known by publication in one or more of the weekly newspapers pub lished in the county of Butler by not less than three successive publications, or by personal service of this writ, the cou tents of the foregoing petition an 1 rule here to be and appear before the Judges of our Orphan's Court at Butler on the 4th Monday day of June, 1887, l>ein« the 27th day of said month, to show cause, if any she may have, why the real estate of Sarah B. Fowzer, dee'd, should not be partitioned as prayed for. Witness the Hon. Aarou L. Hazen, Presi dent Judge of our said Court at Butler, this 7th day of June. 1887. REUBEN MCELVAIN, Clerk. FARM FOR SALE. I will seell my form, located in Franklin township, Butler county, PH. It contains 220 ACRES of good, well watered land, both ridge and awamp; good grain land and good grass land, about 30 acres of good chestnut timber, three orchards, GOOD BANK BARN, 60x60 feet, frame and log dwelling, good spring and good spring house near house; well in kitchen, good coru crib, pig pen and All necessary improvements. For terras, etc, inquire of me on the prem ises. GuoROK C. MCCANDI.ESS, Prospect, Pa. FOR SALE OR EXCHANGE? FARM of T~I acres nearß. R. station. 90acres Improved land, convenient to Pittsburg ; barn is 100x00 and cost Sirsoo—ls good as new—a good G room Irame house. good orchard. Price ssooo. MIGHT PAY A CASH IJIFKKRKNCK on a trade. We have small and large farms tor sale or trade. Patent and Pension cases proseculed. Head the new pension laws and write to us J. H. STKVKNSOS'S & Co's Agency, 100 Fifth Ave., Pittsburg, Pa. FARWT FOR TALE In Sugarcreek township, Armstrong county, near Aaams P. 0., one iiad one-fourth wile east of the new oil development In Sugarcreek twp. Farin contains 100 ACRES, with bank bam, 32x00 feet; BRICK HOUSE, 18x30 feet, 2 stories, with cellar, frame kitchen, Hxltifeet; good spring of water, farm well wa tered, good orchard of grafted trult. Farm In a good state of cultivation. About 75 ACRES CLEARED, balance In good timber. Will sell extremely low for cabh. For particulars lnqulrc^of_ Itlmersburg. Clarion Co., I'a, A RARE CHANCE! FOR SALE. ONE OF Butler County's Best Farms Containing 130 Acres. All under a high state of cultivation; no waste land; under g >od fences, a large EIGHT-ROOM FRAME HOUSE, almost new, with cellar under the whole house, a large frame batik barn, 50x52, a three hundred dollar spring house, and all other necessary outbuild ings. Excellent water. 30 ACHES OAK AND CHESTNUT TIMBER Good orchard. Choice fruit of all kinds. Churches and schools convenient. This farm is located on the Unionville road in Franklin Township, one mile from Mt. Chestnut aud five miles from Butler, and will be sold on easy terms. Immediate possession will be given Call on or address T. W. YOUNG, Mt. Chestnut, Pa. uiiyTrn AGENTS VI nn ILU "POM.ITICAI, DISCUSSIONS. 1 ' DIPLOMATIC aud POPUI.AK," Including all liLs speeches. by .IAMBS G, BLAINE. Apply at once lor terms ami territory. I'. .1. FI.KMIMi & CO., 4.is-It 4, sth Ave., Pittsburg. For Dropsy, Gravel. BrigUt's, Heart. Urinary or Liver Diseases, Nervousness. Ac. Cure (iuar ftptoed. OQlce S3l Arch street- Philadelphia. sl. psr bottle,«for *3. At DruggUts. Try it. THIS PAPER;- " THE BUTLER CITIZEN. | A DRAMATIC SENSATION, I The Ttrcbbirg, Thrilling Dama. How to Save Money. Hy T>. HECIC, ' Author of the "The Bride Won; or. What :i New | suit or Clothes Didwill be enactcd c\ery day and evt nlntr (luring thecoining season at D, A. lIECK'S GREAT CLOTHING E\MM t So. 11, \orlh H ;Iu St.. Biiil'j's iilorl, BDTI.EE, - pa. L'ntll further notice. This powerful work is a wonderful air I varies ated combination of tragical comedy, and comi-il irugtily ana never falls to bring down the lit use. The actors are all star*. The < stuiulr.;; will be a strong feature, The lolluwnig brie fly outlined Is the Sose- fhe happy man no more reflects. Who bios his clothing at I). A. lieck's AT-r I,—St'Exr. T—Time 9 a.m: Enter young man wltli friend. Youag mail explains to his friend that the direct cans.'. t his en;;age nient to the wealthy fariwi's daughter was his purchase of an elegant suit. at l>. A. 11 ECU'S Great Clot hlmr Emporium l'rlend tumbles to th.' Idea ;'.u-l Is made happy with a new bull. llat, Shirts, < 'ollara Ties. t'liderwear, Gloves. llose,. Trunk Valise. I'mbrella, etc. Scene closes with song. Joined In by the audience. SONG— The day will be intensely cold. When l>. A. Ueck is und-isold, &c. ACT II.— SCENE 2— Time 11 a.m. Enter throng of people, old men, young men, livilfs. chil dren. mainglng matrons w.th marrlarable daughters, who with oa; u-vord fairly shriek with delight at the wonderful.bar gains shown, ihe beautiful young iady. Cinderella finds soni'- Jeweiery, a palrol Corsets, a pair of Kid Gloves, an elegant pair or llose that set iier off so exquisitely that a dude from I'nlonvllie and a young man from Gr.i.w Citv both propose.as the Greece City man ha- on one of l>. A. lieck's Irresistible suits, Cinderella decides to patronize home Industries and incepts lilra. The I idcnvdle dude talk:; of duels, suicides. ,vc., but decides not to leave this world while he can get clothing so cheap at U. A. IIECK'S Great Emporium. Song by company, joined by audience: % 'Tls our experience, one and all. And every one who tries it knows. That 1). A. liE'-K has got the . all, And takes the town in selling clothes. ACT in.— SCENE 3.—'TIME ten years lat >r: l/ECK'S LARGEST EMPORIUM. Ten years are supposed to have ( lapsed. I>. A. 11 fcX'K'S store quadrupled In size. Butler a metropolis. Arrival or several excursions, electric trains and a number or balloons, with crowds of people to buy Clothing, Underwear, Hats, Caps, Collars, Neck Ties, Hosier}', Suspenders, Handkerchiefs, Umbrellas. Trunks Vuli- s, Satchels, Bill and Poeketbooks, cloth. Hair and Tooth Brushes and Innumerable otuer an ivies which space forbids to mention. Scores or pros perous men and plump matrons gather around the proprietor, all agreeln < i'.iat their rise in the world began from the mo ment they began to buy their goods irom D . HSCK. Cinderella and hc-r husband about to de jiart for Mt. chestnut (this !s no chestnut) The Unlonville dude, a dude no longer but a rich business man In theelty of Butler. Population 10,000, note.l chleily lor being the most enterprising city la the county, and for lair dealing and (or the fact t>. A. HECK'S Emporium, Bully's Block, is the headquarters for good goods, fair dealing and low prices. All will now join In singln g:— llow B. A. Ileek is selling clothes, Way down at bed rock— .lust watch i lie crowd that dally goes To B. A. lleek's In BuCT'y Block. Curtain falls to 3low but sure _ CATARRH HAY-fever ELY'S CREAM BALM Is not a liquid, muff or powder. Applied into nostrils is quickly absorbed. It cleanf.es the head. Allays in Jlammation. Heals th.-i sores. Restores ihesenses of taste and smell. 50 cents at DruggUtt; by mail, reqiutered , CO tx.ita. ELY BROTHERS, Druggists,Owogo,NY. SliarpPains! I Backache, Bhgnin(itl»m, Crick, Sprains, Neural. Bj gla, Stitches, Sciatica, LomeSidoorlllp, Kidney B Affections, Bore Chestor pain In an? part, local ■ or deep-seated, quickly eo when a Bop Planter Ej is applied. Prepared from Burgundy Pitch, B Canada Balsam and the modielnal Tirtuesof fresh HE Hops. Acta instantly, cures quickly. The ereat- H est strengthening plaster ever known. All ready g to apply. Sold by druggist and country stores, B 26eta., sfort 1.00. Mailed for price. Proprie*H tors, HOP PIiASTEIt CO., Boa ton, Mass. |5 Hop Plaster f Tutt's Pills stimulate the torpid liver, Ktretisrfh cii thedl|[C)itive organH, regulate I lie bourls. and arc unequaled us uu anti-bilious medicine. lu Malarial Districts their virtues ure widely recognized, autlioy pouMeuN peculiar properties in freeing tlie system I rani it,at poi son. Tills popular remedy rurely fails to effectually cure Dyspepsia, Constipation, Sick Headache, Biliousness and all disorders arising from a Torpid Liver and Bad Digestion. A Proclamation! Dr. I. <>iiy I.cnis, Fulton. Ark.. xu}-h: | "A year ago I lind bilious fever; Tutt's Fills were NO bithly reccom meiided tbut I uscil them. Xever did medicine liuvo n happier effect. Al - u practice of u quarter of a cen tury, I proclaim them the best ANTI-BILIOUS medicine ever used. B always pre scribe them in my practice.*' Sold Everywhere. Office, 44 Murray St. New York. Tutt's Manua. of Useful Receipts sent Free. Swithin C. Shortlidge's Academy, For Yoiuig Men aii.l Hoys, Htvlla, I'a. 12 miles from Philadelphia, l'lxed price coven every expense, even l>ooi:s. Av. No extra ! charges No Incidental expense:*—No examina tion lor admission. Twelve experienced teach ers. all men and all graduates. Special oppor tunities for apt students to advance rapld.y. Special drill lor dul aud backward boys. Pa trons or students may sele. t any studies or . choose the regular English, SclentlUc, business. Classical or civil Knglneerlng coarse, students tlltt.ed :tt Media Academy are now In Harvard. Yale, Princeton and ten other Colleges and Polytechnic Schools. 10 students sent to col lege 111 IsVJ. 15 111 ISS4, in 111 IStw. lu in Nso. A gradual lug class every year lu the commercial 1 department. A Physical and chemical i.tii,- " ratory. Gymnasium and li.ill Ground. 1500 vols. • added to lu Physical appar.tlu douliled In ls->.l. Media luis seven church.-i and a temperance charter which prohibits the sale of all intoxicating drinks. For new illustrated circular address the Principal and Proprlei jr. KWITIJJS 0. SHOUTMIibK, A. M., (ll irvcr. Graduate) Media, Px. b-o-au-iy SIMON SHUCK'S FO'TH ER JULY. Hooray fer Cncle Sam, b'gosh! Er'm soin ter hev sum fun: Er've tfot e r paound erpaowder An' mer granther's rusty gun. Er'U raout tiier nayburs in ther morn Afore th sun hez rose— Er'U play antique an' horribull. An' dress in skeer-crow clo'es. ■ July ther Fo' th's but once er year 1 An' yew kin bet yer skin — No matter whut ther ole folk sez— Er'U hev mer leetle spin. Ter ta.ee mer gal ter see ther shaow Thct s in ther sariciss tout. An' let 'er ride er swinging hoss, Er'U spend mer last red cent. We'll go an' see th r b'ioon go up. An' drink sum leinin pop; Til: r's nutt'in mean erbaout mer Yer bet Er'm there, ker-flop. Er'm lib"ral naow, on treatin' gals- Yes, sir-«ee. Er 11 be darned! Er half er dollar woan' break me, , j Not w'er mer Sue's consarned. Naow, w'en Er du er thing er tew, Dad allers hez er rs^e; But 'taint no use for 'im ter rile— Er'm gitting n>ist uv agil 'E thinks 'e's kind an' giu'rous tew— f=7|rm| fen »«.*. , v( * stPSsb ' Drawls psam chewnes like an 'elf; Dyer's er fire-cracker 'e gin me An'sez: "Enjoy yerself." Er teU yew v.-hut, ut makes me latTl Haow ther ole man will stew W cn 'e gits up termorrer morn An' licz t ?r milk old Moo I ; Bill Jason's gwinter puil er string J Er'll hitch on mer big toew; r An' w'ea th;r ole man calls me up, ) 'E'U find thet Er hev flew. Er recken naow Er'll go ter bed An' play off hacw Er'm sick; Cuz Er wouldn't wauter miss mer fun. An' wauter git up quick. Er've got mer paowder an' mer gun Staowed a jutside in cr rick; Great gngcr! Haow ther folks 'll rave— They'll tiud Er'll fool 'cm slick. * * * * • « • " Merlindy," said old farmer Shuck, " D'ye hear thet curus noise? Er b'lievc mer saoul thet aour Sim's er Gwinter j:ne ther boys! Jest take cr poep in Simon's room An' Er'll si p daowa ther stairs; Er'll bet mer craps that's Jason's boy Er eatin' uv aour pairs." " Th'.t's him. yew guse! ez sure's yer born— Tiier skimpy leetle thing! 'E's under Simon's winder, pa, Er pallia' on er string. Ugh! Haow Er would jest like ter git J Mer lingers in's hair! , E'd right saoon stop 'is nibblln' on Thet great green, iiartlett pear." " Gimme thet Hire .liing-fiall, Lindy; Er brought it i l last night Ter mc ,u tie r 1 >:.tUer on ther flange— An' it's cam in jest right. Er'll 1' uin iher s« amp ter spile aour Sim— -1 1 _ Hi \ — _J '2r;r%S^i ~ |'l Xs'": t Ther pesky leetle brute! ! An' com raour.d hyer afore we're up ! Ter steal aour suaimer fruit. " Take thct, yew rogue 1 an' thet—an thet 1" The old man said, with vim. " Jest cu:n raound l'.ycr crgin cr stealin' An' enticin' mer bey Sim! Yew, tew, yer scamp! yer most ez bad, Er slidia' aout th'-r windy; Er'll tenter yew, mer precious lad I Jest hold O'l tii_.it, Belindy I " Naow, railU ther caow en' dew yer chores, An' w'en yer git em done. Jest let mc know an' Er'll find work Ter keep yer aout ther sun. Ef yer'd cr stayed cr bed, mer boy, Ycr'd gone with Uncle Cy; Naow, rawin' wood 'll <;• w, Er guess, Tiier Fo'th er this July. " Th-'t boys is boys, Er knows right well, An' hat' r bo so strce'ui; But ef Er hedn't caught yer, Yer'd hed mc nicely tricked. W'en ycr've growed up ter be cr man, Yer'il lock sua ia ther eye, And thank mo cuz Er kctched yer, on Ther t'u'th cr this July." 13"JUT All?!OLD. MEDDLESOME TIM. The Story of a MinrliievotiH I<«iy'.s Pranks. "Now, Timothy," said Mr. Spriggins at the breakfast table, in an impressive man ner, "mind what I tail you, sir, and don'l you touch that box of fire-works in the store." "Naw, sir," mumbled Timothy, as he munched his doughnut, and looked his parent in the eye, to see how far tho in junction could be safely disregarded. When Mr. Spriggins said "Timmy," his dutiful son governed himself accordingly, "Tim" brought him a little nearer tlio line of obedience, but "Timothy," in full, usually meant business. Tim's ten digits wore possessed with a most unaccouutablo itching for mischief, consequently ho was nearly always in a scrape of some description; only three months before, when the new roof was being tarred, he amusad himself in bal ancing on the edge of the tar-barrel, which was only half full, until aa unlucky lurch landed him head first into its sticky depths, snd his ad ventures might have ended there and then, hi d not his father opportunely turned the corner in time to see the striped leg 3 sticking up from tho barrel and in season to l-oscuo him from his perilous position. Tim's head felt liko a buzz-saw, before ho was through the scrubbing, scraping and shearing necessary to get tho tar out of ht3 hair, and even then one-half cl his face was as neatly colored as if a half of him hal Icen born in Africa His next appearance was when the painters, who wero at work on the paternal mansion, were gono to dinner; Master Tim concluded to branch out a little on his own account, and, keeping Growler, the family mastiff, still by means of sundry bits of meat stowo-l away in lus numerous pockets, the embryo artist decorated tho long-suffering dog with a coat of colors in zebra stylo, which were brilliant, if not tasteful, thereby earning a thorough dust ing of his jacket by his father, ami num berless invectives from tho workman, who spent the best part of tho afternoon re pairing the damages. Then there was tho affair of tho littlo German twins, who wero so exactly alike that Mrs. Schmidt was obliged to tio a blue armlet on Hans and a pink ono on Fritz, to tell them apart. This was too rich an opportunity for meddling to bo lost, so Master Tim enticed tho babies into an alley and replaced their armlets with cigar ribbons exactly alike, and to this day it has never be MI determined which ouo of tho twins is the other. "You dells dot poy of youra dot I kills him right off uwick in two minutes if I cfer catches him meddlin' mit mine dwins no more pritty soon 1" said Mr. Schmidt, ju a rago, as ho shook hia li >t over Mr. Sprigsjins' counter. With such a record, is It surprising that tho father felt tho necessity of saying ♦'Timothy" with unusual gravity, as ho thought of his unruly son in connection with tho box of explosives in the store* Tho average good littlo boy would have gone on hia way with no thought of diso* oodiencc; but Tim wasn't built that way, and his father's words only roused in him | a burning aud insatiable longing to see the | interior of the box; and he hung about the store all day with alarming pertinacity. "Can't I have one peep, pa?" said Tim, imploringly. "Not a peep!" replied Mr. Spriggins, sternly; "it will be soon enough for you to see them when they are sent up from the platform to-morrow night" Stern parents have nipped young hope's fond illusions in the bud before, but to tell the truth, in this case, the parent dared not do otherwise, for Tim was like a trail of gunpowder—give his curious desires ever so little a touch of gratification and there was no knowing where it would end. Tlio following day was the Fourth ol July, a day dear to all lovers of noise and confusion, and under ordinary conditions Tim would havobeen a happy boy; but the unexplored wonders of that box stood a very Mordecai at his gate, and even fire crackers lost their charms. There was to HE WAS RESCUED JUST IN* TIME, be a gorgeous procession in the morning, a greased pole and prize-races for the after noon, and the fireworks in the evening; but Tim's interests, like Lady Bluebeard's, all centered on the forbidden and uu at tainable. "Where's Tim?" said Mrs. Spriggins, as her husband came homo late in the even ing. "At home and in bed, probably," replied Mr. Bpriggins carelessly, "at least I sent the young rascal home two hours ago." "I'm sure he's not in," returned Mrs. Spriggins decidedly. "Mary, go see if Timmy is in bed." Mary went and returned, reporting Tim's bed unoccupied. "Great jumping horned spoons!" ex claimed Mr. Spriggins as a terrible thoughl flashed through his mind, "I believe the little villain has hid in the store, so as tc pry into that box of fire-works," and the very hair 3 of his head stood up in horroi at the idea of what might bo happening. It was even so. Timothy had apparently obeyed his father's command, but, as the night was warm, had found it an easy mat ter to slink in at the back door and hide under a counter, until his father and the clerks had departed. His mischievous fingers fairly trembled with delighted eagerness, as he lit a can dle and fitted it into an old lantern which lie had provided for the occasion, not wish ing a bright light, for fear of betraying himself to the passer-by, and he wrenched off the cover, which had been loosened dur ing the day by the clerks, and there were the treasures open to his longing eyes, and, holding his lantern dangerously near, ho bent over them with itching fingers, but only inteudiug to satisfy his eyes, and then creep out of the back windovv and return homo. He never could tell just how it hap pened, but probably in his excitement ha did not fit his candle properly into tho socket, and out it fell into a vacant space in the end of tho box, and fizz, fizz, whizz, AfPfl \V T liOTfcSi FIZ 1 F!Z ! BANG 1 BANG! whiz-z-z, went tho contents; crack, snap, and explode, until tho room was in a blaze of light, just as Mr. Spriggins and a night watchman crashed in at tho door, and, seizing the crackling mass, hauled it out of doors at tho risk of burned hands and scorched faces, and it blazed aud fizzed, and popped, in the middle of tho street, tc the delight of the vagrant street boys, and the despair cf tho committee 011 fire works. There were no fire-works that Fourtli, and Mr. Spriggins declares, that, in case of another such emergency, ho shall put the boy in a strait-jacket to commence with, and run 110 risks. Hits. F. M. HOWARD. SHUCK TROTTER'S FOURTH And How lie Observed It—\ Celebration Under Dilliculties. Shuck Trotter, having "laid by" his corn on tho third of July, was lifted into such exultation by his maturing prospects of a good crop, that he decided to hold a sort of celebration on tho Fourth. Throughout I.hs neighborhood of "Lick Skillet" Shuck enjoys that peculiar leader ship which certain oddities of character frequently grant a man who lives in a backwoods community. Those oddities, however, are never of an intellectual sort, for, in Shuck's neighborhood, a character istic that is purely mental is always re garded as a weakness, while a certain "pranliishness," particularly an ability to jump higher and dance faster than any other man is italicized distinction. The celebration at Shuck's house can doubtless bo given most appropriately, and lam certain most entertainingly, in tho exact words of Zeb Finch, the brown jeans beau of tho "Lick Skillet" neighbor- 1 hood: "When Shuck come over whar I wuz cr cleanin' up some now ground fur er tur nip patch," said Zeb, "an' told mo er bout the cilybratlon, I sorter hung fire cr bout goin'; but when he 'lowed pino blank that Liza Baker an' the Jimison gals would be thar, 1 told him that nothin' but er pow erful mixture uv tho rheumatiz an' cramp colic could keep mo er way, an' I meant whut I said, even ef Liza is fat, an' not C 7 pale ez the most uv folks like to see a gal. Wall, when I ariv at Shuck's house X seed that all tho necessary preparations had been made. It wuz too hot to stay in tho hou3o, so a lot uv cheers an' benches had been put in the yard under er low, spreadin' mulberry tree, that givo a thick shale. Thar wuz er right smart sprink lin' uv folks, I toll you. Ole Uncle Mose Gayner, that went to the Legislatur last year wuz thar. Uncle Moso ain't much bigger cr round then er hoe-handle, an' it i fVVy:. A /EH :V, I : —ZZZ iz: 41 |\ /: - (, y-'c ■ ; • gjp|jy= "DON'T FOOL YO' SELF,"BAYS HE. I do peer like that whin natur sot into malc i in' his logs sho come mighty nigh not j stoppin'or tall, but in spile uv all these J here drawbacks tho ole feller has got a way uv sm.ickin' his mouth when the jug is passed, that gest liachuily keep.4 him I fruin fallin' into obscurity, cz tlio preach er nays. Ole Gayner was thar, too. 1 don't think I ever se-.-J a fatter woman then she is. W'y, she's so much thicker then she is liiyiitli.it when siio wants to •' reach up on er shcif after any thing she BUTLER, PA., FRIDAY, JULY 1,1887 ays down. The Jim'.son cjals wuz tharsho mil, an'—ges ho.' i.iv hat. somebody, while I think uv h.-r—JiUs Liza, bless her fat aws, wuz thar life, uncraver tsre hoss. Doa't understau' me to mean my disrespect v.!; a 1 compar that lovely ?reetur with er hoss, fur 1 .nn;e tell you, :he human fam'ly will hive to improve Hight'ly befo' it ketches up with tho hoss. "It mout not peer to bo necessary to speak about tho sizes uv thoso folks, but I'll jest say th t weight ha I cr good ieal to do with tho tallaesj uv the capers that wuz cut that ilry. "Old Shuck wuz in his glory, aa' 'lowed that the country's birth lay should bo cily bratcd in er manner that tha neighbors wouldn't soon furgit. " 'How you g< in' to do it, Shueki' says L 'We kain't do nothin' but set cr round an' stuff ourselves with watermilons uu' sich.' " • Don't fool yo'se'f,' says he, 'l'm goin' to have some 'splosicns here airter while that'll lay all the firecrackers an'tawpe ters you ever seo l in tha everlastin' shade. Sec this,'taki.i'er package oaten tho pocket uv his duster. ; Here's two pounds uv the finest blastin' powder you ever come cr cross. Airter we eat an' drink er while we'll step out here an' bore holes in legs, load 'em up an' have the all lircdcst bombard men t yen ever seed. Folks Way over tho creek will think that the big est, Fourth uv July this country ever seed has jest been turned loose on the com munity.' '"Oil, Cou3in Shuck,' sa!d Miss Liza— r.n' ez X remarked jest now, bless her fat jaws—'please don't havo no shootin' fur it skeers me.' " ' Bless yo' soul an' body, Lizv,' Shuck replied, 'I wouldn't skeer you fur nothin' in the world, but on this crcasion I'm jest nachully bound to turn tho liiils an' hollers wrong side out'ard, cr haw, haw—plum wrong side out'arJs, Uncle Mose,' he added, grinnin' at the iean old man. "Laws a massy,' cried Shuck's wife, 'the white sow is in the milon patch. Run Shuck an' knock her fetch-taked head off.' "Shuck he drapped the package uv pow der in er cheer an' er way he went, an' Liza snatched up the powder, retched up an' put it on a limb uv the tree an' begged us not to tell Shuck whar it wuz which we all promised that we wouldn't. Shuck braught er big milon back with him an' we div into it red-eyed. Then he axed fur his powder. We all 'lowed that wo hadn't seed it. " 'That'll never do in the world,' says he. 'Er fou'th uv July cilybration without pow der is like cr set uv plow gear without er back-band —jest nachully won't go. Undo Mose, whar's the powder?' "'Ain't seed it Shuck. Bleve you tuck it with you when you went airter the white sow.' "'That's gest erbout whut I did,'says Shuck, an' ho put out to look fur it, an' when ho couldn't find it, he went up iii tha fence corner an' cussed that 010 sow fur ever' thing ho could think uv an' Liza— bless—but never mind, laughed fit to kill her sweet self. Then Bhuck fotch out his jug. It made the gals gr.n miglit'ly when they tuck er pull at it jest to be sociable, you know, but I tell you it made ole Uncle Zvlose's mouth pop like er hickory bark whip. "'My stairserlive' said one uv the Jimi son gals, 'the black gnats is so bad er body caint hardly live.' " 'That's er fac-k,' said Liza, 'an' they run mo nearly stracted.' " 'l'll fix 'em,' Shuck lowed, an' he went into the house, an' soon come out with some fire in er big dinner pot. He sot it on the ground an' the ladies all thanked him fur his kino an' plite cr tention. " 'Shuck,' says Uncle Mose —tho 010 fel ler is powerful frolicky—'they tell me that you learnt er new step when you went over to the Bran dance the other day. Give it to us.' " 'Oh, yes, do, Cousin Shuck,' said Liza —that'sall right. Give it to us, fur I know we'll bo so much edified.' That , ' |p % THE WAY IT ENDED. word settled it with me right thar an' ei I coulder got holt uv her hand I would have sartinly squz it. " 'I ain't round thrown' my steps er way,' says Shuck, 'but ez we've all met here to cilybrate the Fourth, here's at you. Hero, Zeb,' turnin' to me, 'pat for me.' I commenced to pat an' ho hopped up an' went at it. It wuz er sort uv Ingun dance, with er lot uv whoops scattered through it, an' tho fust whoop Shuck fotch he leaped up an' struck tho limb whar Liza had liid the powder, an' down come tho powder an' I wish I ma3 T die dead ef it didn't come slap dab into the pot uv fire. Tiiar wuz er bout cr second befo' any thing happened an' then tho cilybra tion tuck placo sho null. The fust thing sporienced wuz the earth sorter shakin' it self, an' then thar come er noiso that I ain't goin' ter fursjit soon. "Somehow I wuz permitted to sec the per formance without takin'much uv cr band in it. Shuck an' Uncle Moso peered to go into partnership fur they went up in tho tree together, an' it did seem like Uncle Moso'slegs wrapped erround Shuck erbout throe times. Shuck's wife riz like cr tur key-lien an' went over the fence, an' Uncle Mose's wife, ez goo l-hcarted er ole soul cz ever lived, wuz jest rolled erway like er bar'l. The pore cle lady squealed but lcep' on er rollin'. Tiic Jiinisun girls fluttered ever' whicher way, an' put ino in mine uv cr lot uv young patridges. But Liza — alas, bless her fat jaws, the powder, findin' that sho wuz so heavy it couldn't pick her up, turned her round er time er two, fluttered her over tlio fence an' started her off down the lane on er trot, an' she hadn't mo'rn got started good till er watcrinilon cotch up with her an' I hope I may die dead cf I didn't jest nach ully think it had knocked all the mazin grace outen tiio dear crectur. Holler! I never licarn cr pore soul holler liko sho did. I run airier her aa'didn't ketch her ti'.l she got to the foot uv the hill. Sho tlung her lovin' arms round mi an' sobinly cried: 'Ah Lawd, Zeb, who woulder thought that dinner pot woulder busted!' When we all got ter gether ergin, Shuck, seein' that nobody wuz killed, lowed that the saf.'st thing wuu'.d bo ter git down an' pray, an' wo gest nachully got down even ihough wo seed tho white sow mako cr r.uther break fur tho milon patch. I ain't axed him but I j ;.-;t liaehuilj think that Shuck has gone outen the col-, bra'.in' bu.--.i aesi." On E P. READ. A JlHnic Actor and a K ink K^ff. "They have the mustiest rs in this town ever 1 met," said a cheap variety star to a member of hi i troujie. "You must liavo met with one of thorn,'' replied liis companion. "Well, I did. An cgfj that was laid by a dead hen, too." "How do you know?" "Howdo 1 know! Great Scott! Sly noses was against one side of the cg:;-sheli when it broke." •' Hrbout Tiler S.iuio Kinder Tunc." "Did you cv r dance to the air of that piece in the M.'.: ;lo called *\\ illew-'i it- AViliow-Tit-V. iiiov/'? " asked Dan.'.ymau of liii country cousin. "No, but da I often made me sin;,' and danco tor the willow-ta, -willow lie keep-s in ther wood", lie J. Er rocl.c 11 it's orbout ther same kinder tune, ain't iti" —tl is meet and drink tiiat is de priving many of food. Among the Zu!m young people fight and pet married. Here they married and fight. —' Potter the day, better the deed, will not prove true when you come to diting a deed on Sunday. All men try to get the earth.but the earth gets them. This is not a joke; it is the grave truth. O v \ t / . v fireJlracker , . . 1776! . . . Hurrah for Independence Day! Cheers for this Yankee Nation Who's yearly racket aud display Just startles all creation. Our Eagle, red and white and blue, Will flap his wings like thunder And crow a 'Yankee-doodle-doo," To make the old world wonder. Our Uncle Sam will make a speech. And we're a-going to hear him. And when he waves our llag we'll screech And toss our hats and cheer him; Then, when the " Yankee-doodle-doo"' Comes from our B-ird victorious We're going to crow a little, too. For Liberty Is glorious. Cheers for America's small boys With patriotism aching; Who'll fire crackers till the noise Sets all the earth a-quaking. Ring bells,beat drums,bang cannon,too; While this grand Yankee Nation Crows " Yankee-Doodle-Doodie-doo " In Freedom's Celebration. • * BY H. C.DODGE. * • AN "ENEMY WON. 1 Returning Good for Evil—A Fourth ol July Story. For years a bitter feud had existed be tween the two leading physicians of Oak land. At one time they had been intimate friends, and young Dr. Parker had been the acknowledged suitor of old Dr. Ro mans' sweet daughter, Cicely. It was at a Fourth of July celebration that tho trouble arose, and tho beginning of tho quarrel had its origin in a very ial thing, too. Both men had been invited by the citizens to participate in the exer cises of the day, and in his address the old doctor saw proper to take exception to some statements made by the younger one. Boing something of a politician, Dr. Parker resented tho liberty taken by his friend, and then the old man in scathing words denounced the "young upstart, who thought to teach those who had forgotten mere than ho had ever known." The idle tongues of tho gossips were not slow in repeating the comments made by thoughtless persons, and thus, instead of the breach being healed, it grew wider and wider. Dr. Parker, though quick to re dress a wrong, was the more generous, and even after hot words had passed between them, came to his enemy and, frankly con fessing his own fault, sought an amicable reconciliation. The old man, though tho one to give the first offense, was furious, and ordered his antagonist to leave his houso immediately and forever. Strong as was the attachment existing between Cicely and the young doctor, she was too dutiful a daughter to carry on a clandestine courtship, even if the honor able young man had proposed such a course. No formal engagement existed between them, and when at her father's command, tho letters she had received ■were returned without ouo word of ex planation. Dr. Parker quietly submitted to his fate, more convinced than ever that women were as fickle as they had been rep resented. Thus several years rolled by and the two men were still estranged, and perhaps would have so remained during life, had not a circumstance brought them together. It was as follows: One dark, stormy night Dr. Parker was riding home as fast as the rain, which boat in his face, and the slip- JL STORMY INTERVIEW. pery condition of the roads would justify. Slackening his pace, when he entered the "narrows," ho was moving along very cautiously when his horso shied suddenly, almost throwing him to tho ground. By the faint light of the lantern which he carried, he could see the debris of what seemed to be a broken sulky. Supposing that some unfortunate traveler had met with an accident, and had left the vehicle by the side of the road until morning, he attempted to pass, but tho horso only snorted and scented tho air with his nos trils; he would not move astep to the right hand or the left Dismounting, to ascer tain tho cause of the strange actions, ho discovered to his dismay, that the battered sulky hung half over tho precipice. Ue was about to lead his frightened steed to a placo of safety, when a faint moan startled him. Listening attentively, he was horri fied to hear from tho rocks below tho foo ble cry of— "My God! will no one help mei" He shouted back: "Who is there, and what is the matters" The despairing wail came back: "It is I, Dr. Romans. My horso took fright and precipitated me over tho narrows. I am entirely helpless, and tho creels is almost up to mo. If help doc 3 not come speedily I will be washed away. For God's sake, be quick." The young man recognized the voice and his brow grew ominously dark. For a moment a horri'.Ao temptation assailed him. He had only to ride jji ar.d he would bo free from his bitter enemy forever. The secret would be his own, and no one would think of attaching biaine to him: but it was only for an instant that th : dark thought haunted him. In spito of tho increasing storm and the extremely dangerous descent, he was soon malting his way, laboriously,down llio steep, treaeh jrous cliff. Reaching his fallen foe, he obseived the spasm of pain that pas.; ;.t over tho old man's lace, when ho know that he was in the power of au enemy. " You have com: to gloat over my fall, have you?" he groaned in despair. " 1 have come to render aid to a fellow being in distress," Dr. Parker answered, in a subdued voice. "I would rather per ish than bo saved by an enemy," Dr. Romans answered, savagely. Nevertheless he obeyed tho firm, rapid commands of Parker, who l'ouad ho had a herculean task on hand, for tho man was thoroughly drenched with the rain, be sides having sustained the fracture of an arm and tho severe contusion of his right ankle. At first the pain was so great as to cause tho strong man to cry out in agony; but Parker, fearing that tho flood would overtake them, hurried him along as fast as practicable. At last, aftor a tremen dous effort, m which lie half carried, half dragged the almost helpless man, Parker succeeded in reaching tho public high-way and placing tho wounded man upon his own gentle horse. Then, seizing tho bridle, ho proceeded cautiously along tho slippery "narrows" and across tho bottom, until they struck the smooth, safe road that led to tho vil lage. Arriving at the Romans residence. Par ker succeeded in arousing tho household and gaining assistance to carry his charge in out of the storm. In tho midst of theii alarm and consternation, the young phy sician briefly explained how the accidenl had happened. Speaking of tho injuries, ho suggostod tho propriety of securing medical aid at once. "I'll havo 110 surgeon but yourself, my friend," gasped the old man, "that is, ii PAKKER HURRIED HIM ALONG. you will consent to take charge of such an old bear as you have seen demonstrated in your humble servant." Dr. Parker assured him that if it were his desire to put himself in his hands he would do all in his power to restore him to health. '•lt is my earnest desire, my noble friend, although I did tell you to-night that I'd rather die than be saved by you. If you had taken me at my word, I would be float ing down the Ohio by this time. I owe my life to you, and after your heroism to-night I would rather owe it to you than to any man living." Mutual confessions followed, and as it is always easier to foreivo thoso who injure us than those wo injure, Dr. Parker ex perienced no difficulty in burying the past and giving the old man his hand in token of reconciliation. All the loug period of deadly warfare was bridged by that one night's noble work. Dr. Parker had ful filled his vow. He had saved his adver sary from a horrible death, and owned that his revenge was sweet. Cicely and the young doctor spent many pleasant hours in each other's society dur ing the invalid's convalescence, and as tho Fourth of July, 1887, is to be celebrated by their marriage, the people of Oakland have settled the question as to why beautiful Cicely Romans remained so long unwed, and why Dr. Parker should have chosen tho lot of an old bachelor when he could have had picking choice among the fair maidens of all the country-side. BET-LB V. CHISHOLM. tiILL NYE'S SPEECH. lie Delivers a C'liaraetcristte ami PatriottO Address—An Excellent l*lctur® of the Orator. FELLOW CITIZENS: It has now been one hundred and eleven years since tho most successful and most prosperous republic known thus far to history, sent forth upon the sultry air its first feeble cry. One hundred and eleven years ago this morn ing, the small red infant known as Ameri can Liberty jammed her purple fists into her watery eyes and made a few desultory remarks which were heard in the utter most parts of tho earth. To-day she is a full-grown person with a dignified mien, aud has had a statue of herself taken, which stands in the harbor of New York and although sho lights up the country for miles around, with her tall torch, there is no one who has evei been able to hold a candle to her in the Liberty business. Those who arc to-day within the sound Of my voice, and who are over one hun dred and eleven years of age. will perhaps recall to their minds tho deplorable con dition of things here in our young and struggling country at that time. If we moved out West in order to se cure more freedom, the venturesome sav age filled us full of arrows till wo looked like toothpick-holders, and when we came back for protection, tho haughty Briton MR? NYE A3 nE APPEARED ON THE PLATFOUM. assessed us and crushed us beneath the iron heel of the despot. Now, wherever tho starry banner hangs out to greet tho gentlo breeze, all, all aro free. Little do we know to-day, here in America, what it Is to suffer for freedom. Liberty doos a good business here in the United States now, aud the man who runs out of freedom shows that he is a shiftless man and a poor provider. Only a little over acentury ago wo dared not go out after dark without a chilled steel corset, for fear that tha maroon-col ored children of the forest might let the pale, shimmering moonlight in among our vital organs by moans of their crude tom ahawks. Then life was indeed uncertain and disagreeable. Peoplo remained at homo rather than return to their houses with holes in themselves and wildly dis heveled brains. Now a man can start out and go any where if ho will pay his fare. And so we are marching on. What a grand stride it is from tho despotism of a century ago, to the long and short haul ol to-day i What a mighty leap from the bar barism of a hundred years ago, to tho glor ious sunlight of freedom which we enjoy now! - Where once Iho slow-going ox team and Belcher box wagon cropt through the wilderness, liable to be scattered over the greensward at any moment by the yelling Injun, now tho patient newspaper man, the member of Congress and tho Associate Justice of the Supremo Court, with theii cjats over their arms, toil along tho leva) sweep of railroad which they assisted te build by moans of their land grants and moral encouragement, looking ever and anon over their shoulders for the approach of the yelling modern lujun. Times have indeed changed in the past century. A hundred years ago whisky was sold at forty cents per gallon, and every other man you met was a statesman. Now you have to pay fifteen cents foi enough iwhisky to wet the bottom of 8 small tumbler and thoro hasu't been s speech made in the House of Representa tives for three years that was listened t( by any body but the stenographer. So liberty, while enlarging her field, has not always ameliorated the condition ol mankind. Wo arc prone to boast over th« enormous mass of freedom which wo have accumulated here in America, aud yet the freedom of the press lias been greatly im paired, if I may bo allowed that expres sion. Too much caste has been tho result of re cent laws. A year ago I held up my head aud mingled with a class of men who to day refuso to recognize mo. They were then, and aro now, of course, men ol wealth and social position; but so am L I allude to the railway conductors of the United States. A year ago I knew them from New York to San Francisco, and associated with them frequently, allowing myself to bo drawn forward into the smoking-car to mingle with them and visit pro anil con. But what do I find to-day? I find the satno men running on the same trains, bul they are arrogant, haughty and reserved. Oue of them placed mo on a aide-track last spring in tho night, in the midst of a piti less storm, because I tried to renew a for mer acquaintance with him, and ride into Chicago. He said that 1 could not ride on my ac quaintance with him by uo means, but that I would soon bo ri ling on tho small of my back if I did not pay my faro to the city. «*•*•*• And so I remained thatni-;ht in tho midst of some ancient ruins called Monmouth. I was not acquainted in Monmouth, and 1 had no business there. Nobody ever had any business there that I ever hea'rd of, and yet 1 remained thcro through what was left of that terrible night. 1 often think that our forefathers did not suffer any more hardships than we do, and if I had fitted myself for it I would just as soon bo a forefather as to be the pampered <-hild of wealth that I am to-day Bill NYE. 15^™* Advertiau in the CITIZEN. The Declaration in Rhyme. In an imitation of Hudibr&p, writ teu in the time of tie fierce contest between Great Britain end America in 1777 and 1778, published in the latter year, was a parody, with com ments on the Derlur tion of Inde pendence. At tLat time there was no clue to the author or t'. 3 place of nativity of the author, but it must have been an American production and it may with propriety bo pub lished now. When in the c> ursc of human things All tuljects iuay desert their king', And thus becoming Uisai."-. bonds by which tiny we:-e connected; Assuming 'mcngst the pow. rs in earth Au equal rank to which their biri'u, The laws of heaxeu and r.t" nature, Entitle every human creature. Respect when men are thui inclined For the opinions of mankind, Kequirt s they should the causes tell That have induced them to rel.el. First let them downright maisms strike, That all men are born free alike, And r.rc undoubtedly allowed, By Providence to be endowed (As many a learned author write- With some inalienable right , 'Mong these we lay the greats' stiess On life, pursuit cf h&p| ints.-i, And (what is best cf all the three- Of uncontrolled liberty, For surely no one ccn believe But he's a certain right to iive, Without receiving check or stop here, As long as ever he think j i j ;r. Neither is life like chair or table, To one another alienable. Neither can any mortal have The right to make himself a -lave, (Although by thieving we may say Some people do it every day ; Neither can any one entrap ye From the just rights of bting happy, (Though your chief happiness iu life Should be to kiss your neighbor's wife) . To keep these rights ty their consents, Man instituted governments, Aud should they afterwards be tir' i Of systems that the world admit M, The people have a right t' al.eixb, After relinquish and demob- ■ By methods novel and surprisir.s:, New States and powers orgctul/iu..-, In such a form and figure drcst, As the wise authors shall (h.nk best. Prudence indeed, niiyht plainly dictate, (To any but a dull aud thick pate) That governments estabiisb'd ancient, Should not be cliang'd lor causes transient — And therefore ail experience shows That man would rather something lose Than to le ltsh, because they're strong, And right themselves by doing wrcng. But when we had refused assent To British acts of Parliament, (Tho' bulwarks of the Constitution), And stuck to this one resolution, When we determined to be free, And seized on other people's tea, Tarring arid feather!:every fc.d That spoke iu favor of £<x>d rule; Broke up the courts of law and justice (For iu ourselves our hope and trust is), Forcing from everyone concession To things of which we made profession, And settling thii-gs we could not guide To ride upon a stick, astride; Because we plainly saw designs To catch us in despotic mines; When after this the plans absurd Of that harsh tyrant, George the Third, Under a notion of e.\| edience, To bring us to a due obedience, Pursued through regular degred.ition, Of gross abuse aud usui pation, Prove an invariable eh sign Our liberties to undermine, A resolution to betray Aud rule us by despotic sway. It is our right and our intent To throw off sueh a government, While other methods may be tried For future safety to provide. The Coming Man. Harpers' for June.] The American man only develops himself and spreads hi nine If i:nd grows "for all he is worth" in the Great West. He is more free lind limber there, and unfolds those generous pe culiarities and largenesses of humani ty which never blossomed before. The "environment" has much to do with it. The great spaces over which he roams contribute to the en largement of his mental horizon. There have been races before who roamed the illimitable desert, but they traveled on foot or on camelback ard were limited in their range. There was nothing continental about them, as there is about our railway desert travellers, who swing along through thousands of miles of sands and sagebusli with a growing con tempt for time and space. But ex pansive and great ts these people have become under the new condi tions. the Writer has a fancy that the development of the race has only 'ust begun, and that the future will .-how us In perfection n kind of man new to the world. Out somewhere on the Santa Fe route, where the desert oi one day was like the desert of the day before,and the Pullman car rolls and swings over the wide waste beneath the blue sky day after day, under its black flag of smoke, in ihe early gray of morning, when the men were wailing their turns at the ablution bowls, a slip of a boy, per haps aged seven, stood balancing himself on his little leg?, clad in knickerbockers, biding Lis time, with all the noucbalance of an old cam paigner. "How did you sleep, cap?" asked a well-meaning elderly gentle men. "Well, thank you," was the dignified response; "as I always do on a sleeping car." Always docs? Great horrors! Hardly out of his swaddling clothes, and yet be always sleeps well in a sleeper! Was he born on the wheels? was he cradled in a pullman? ile has always been in motion, probably; he was started at thirty miles an hour, no doubt this marvelous boy of our new era. He was not born in a house at rest, but the locomotive snatched him along with a shriek and a roar before his eyes were fairly open, and he was rocked in a "section." and his first sensation of life was that of moving rapidly over vast arid spaces, through cattle ranges, and along canons. The ( fleet of quick and easy locomotion on character may have been noted before but it stems that here i 3 the produc tion of a new sort of man, the direct product of our railway era. It is not simply that this boy is mature, but he must bo a different and a nobler sort of boy than ouo born, say, at home or on a canal boat; for whether he was bom on the rail or not, he be longs to the railway system of civil ization. Before he gets iuto trousers he is old in experience, and he has discounted many ol the novelties that usually break gradually cn the pil grims of this world. Ho belongs to the new expansive race that must iive in motion, whose proper home is the pullman (which will probably be improved in time into a dustless, sweet-smelling, well aired btdroom), I and whose domestic life will be on | tho wing. so to speak. The inter- I State Commerce Bill will pags him along without without friction from end to end of the Union, sr.d perhaps a uniform divorce law v. ill enable him to change his martial relat ons at any place whore ho hap pens to dine. This promising lad is only a faint intimation of what we are ail coming to when we fully acquire the* freedom of the continent, and come into that expansiveness of feel ing and of language which character izes the Great West. It is a burst of joyous exuberance that comes from the sense of an illimitable horizon. It shows itself in the tender words of a local news j piper at Bowie, Arizona, on the i death of & beloved citizen: "'l)jath 1 -res a shining mark,' und she hit a dandy when she turned loose on Jim." And a!-o in the closing words of a N-w Mexico obituary, which the Kfin'oa Magazine quotes: "Her tired spirit was released trom the pain r.v ■! ': g b;. !y and soared aloft to eter nal git-v at Denver time." We die, i:s it were, in motion, as we *1 rn, and there is nowhere any Liuui diiry to our expansion. Perhaps \v shall never again know any rest we now understand the term—rest l»ing only change on motion—and we bliull not be able to sleep except on the ears, and whether we die by the 90th meridiau, we shall only change our time. Blessed be this .-iip of a boy who is a man before he is an infunt, and teaches us what rapid transit can do for our race! The oniy thiug that can possibly hinder us in our progress will be second childhood; we have abolished first. Mr. Beecher's Prompt Approval H. W. llipley, of Portland, Maine, who has passed forty-nine summers in the White Mountains, tells a story about llenry Ward Beecher. Mr. Utecher once drove a passenger wagon from the Twin to the Craw ford, just lor fun. In turning around his team became tangled up and his wagon bid fair to tip, when a Port land and Ogdensburg conductor look ing out of a chamber window of the hotel, shouted: "Let go your lead e;s, you old fool." "That's good advice, young man," was Mr. Beecher's calm reply, as ho followed it. Puts and Calls. "Papa," observed little Johnny Gray, "what does this mean in the ptper?" "What is it my son?" "Why what do "puts" and "calls" mean?" "They mean," said the old man, who had taken several flyers; "they mean that a man goes down to Wall street and puts some money in tho hands of a broker." '•Well, but what do "calls" mean?" "Oh, th&y mean, my son, that when he calls for it he don't get it. The Weakest Part. It is a general pr'nciple that local disease attacks the weakest part of the unfortunate victim at tho time he may be exposed to tho attack. This may be more satisfactory to tho theorist than to the sufferer. Tho l itter has often asked, "But why should that part bo weaker than any other?" That is a wise remedy that tends to strengthen all the weakor parts, and thus enable them not only to cast off the disease, but guard them fro a the encroachments of other disease?. For this purpose the Compound Oxygen has no equal. If you wish to know more of this treatment, you cun easily be gratified by addressing Drs. Starkey <fc Palen, 1529 Arch St. Philadelphia, Pa, for their Brochure, in interesting book of 200 pages, and it will bo sent to you free. —A bad scrape—an amateur's vio lin solo. —A burglar seldom does his work aljne lie generally has Jimmy with him. —Advice to a dressmaker—bo sure you'r right, then gore ahead. Enjoy Life. What a truly beautiful world we live iu! Natures gives us grandeur of mountains, glens and oceans, and thousands of enjoj'ment. We can desire no better when in perfect health; but how often do the majority of people feel like giving up disheart ened, discouraged and worn out with disease, when there is no occasion fur this feeling, as every sufferer can easily obtain satisfactory proof that Green's August Flower will make them fr<e from disease, as when born. Dyspepsia and liver complaint arc the direct causes of seveuty-flve per cent, of such maladies as bilious ness', indigestion, sick headache, cos tiveness, nervous prostration, dizzi ness of tho head, palpitation of the heart and other distressing symp toms. Three doses of August Flou-er will prove its wonderful ef fect. Sample bottles 10 cents. Try it. —lt's a wise child that resembles its richest relative. —A coquette is like a war veteran —-he goes through many engage ments. —"Yes,my child; duu is the future tense of due." An Important Element Of the puccess of Hood's Sarsaparilla is the fact that every purchaser re ceives a fair equivalent for liis mon ey. Tho familiar heading "100 doses one dollar," stolen by imitators, is original with and true only of Hood's Sarsaparilla. This can easily be proven by anyone who desires to test ;he matter. For real economy, buy only Hood's Sarsaparilla. Sold by all druggists. A Philadelphia policeman speaks "even different languages. To hear him talk iu his Bleep, you would think he \va3 a polyglot dictionary. —A distinguished physician has discovered that the gall of a rattle snake will cure its bite. From this we infer that the average rattlesnake Las nlmost as much gall as the aver age bouk agent. As Sure as the Sun Shines, Dr. Tutt's Liver Pills will cure fever and if taken by directions—a b>ld assertion, but a true one; a mil lion people endorse it Sold by all druggists. Price, 25 cents per box, five for sl. NO. 33
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers