VOL. XX A. TROUTMAN, DEALER IN DRY GOODS, NOTIONS. TRIMMINGS. Carpets, Oil Cioihs, Rugs, Mais, Druggets, Stair Ms, Etc, FOHFALL. FOR FALL. New Black 6;lks. New Colored Silkn. New Colured Cashmeres. New Black Cashmeres. New black Silk Velvets. New Colored Silk Velvets. New Colored Silk I*lushes. New Black Silk l'lushes New Shades Ladies Cloths. New Dress Goods. NEW EIBCOKB,FIS€UU9, TIES, HAND SATCHELS, Gloves, Handkerchiefs, Towels, Corsets, Velvet Ribbons, Knitting Silks, Embroidery Silk on spools, all colors. New Fall Hosiery. I Underwear for mcu, ladies and chil- j riren. Largest assortment, lowest: price?. CARPETS AND OIL CLOTHS Carpet Room Enlarged, Stock En larged;, Prices tha Lowest. \ T F*W FALL STYLES —We are now prepared and showing our entire Fall Stock of Carpets and Oil Cloths, in all the Newest Designs. OIL. CLOTHS, 1 i».2 YARDS WIOI2, IN ALL A.. IT K C Iv, The Leading One Price Clothier and Gents* Outfitter, 2id DOOR, DDFFX'S BLOCK, BPTLEK, PA Union Woolen TVlill, UUTLEK, PA. H. FULIiKRTOX. Prop'r. Manufacturer of BLANKBTS, FLANNELI?, YARNS, Ac. AIBO custom work doue to order, such as carding Kolls, making Blankets, Flanuuis, Knit- Ing and Weaving Yarns, Ac., it very low prices. Wool worked on the shares, it dc gtred. mfT-ly CutThisOsiflgpgg. brine yuu in Mo*£ "} Ouc So ii i;uu.an !■ thlmselKi'in AMERTEA. ABEK.l«tev:cUat. 3. V k. FOR FALL. FOR FALL. New Flannels, White Blankets, R'd Blankets, Blue Blankets, Bed Comforts, j White Quilts. Cautou Flannels. , Yarns of all kinds. Germantown \ arns, Midnight Yarns, German Worsted Yarns, Cashmere Yarns, Saxony Yarns, ' Country Factory Yarns, Zephyrs. Tlie above Yarns in all colors, i * j Ladies' Sacqucs In new Fall Shades, Ladies' Jersey 'jackets, Lace Curtains, Lace Lambre -1 quins. Large stock, prices low. PTJEEIirp M C INDXAAiM&IJ Fruni the Districts ol Ab'SAM, CFIIT I'AOONW OACHAH. KANGKA VALLEY, DAUJEEL ING, DEHRA DOON, a».d others. At>:olutelj Pure. Superior In Flavor. The Most Eeouom led. Requires ciily half the u*ual quantity Sold bv nil Grocer*. JOHN C. I'MLLIPri A 00., Alients of the Calcutta Tea Syndicate 130 Walir St., N. Y. Novß-ly, TC sf i|lDv' WAN! ED $ 100. I rRI Rill « Steady Employment durine 1 I ■ NHViiiiin#, c McCuRDY &Co Philadelphia,?*. -GEltfiingMEOY JPOFL SP-A-IiNT. CUKES Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago. Backache, Headache. Toothache. Soro Throat, Swelling:** Sprnin*, Itrulnca, Eturim. Senldx. Front IIUw. AM) ALL OTilfclt BODILY PAINS AM» Ai-liES. Scld by Druggists au-aler* everywhere. Fiftj Cent* a bottle. Direction* ia 11 Lr.nruage*. THE CHARLES A. VOtiKLF.R CO. —■ U'.VUC* to a. \OQLUJL k CO.i U<imorv. *d., 1.8. k. The only known tpecific for Epileptic Fits.-CJ fi.j-Also for Spasms and Foiling Sickness. - Non-one Weakness quickly relieved and cnrcd. Equalled by noao in delirinm of tf.'rNeatralizes germs of disease nnd sickness. Cures ligly blotches and stubborn blood sores. _ Cleanses blood, quickens sluggish circulation. Eliminates Coils, Carbuncles and Scalds.*®* jjyFermanently and promptly euros paralysis. Yes, It is a charming and hc.ilthfal Aperient. Kills Scrofula and Kings Evil, twin brothers. Changes bad breath to good, removing caube. 1-Cfßouts biliousness and clears complexion. Charming resolvent ar.d matchless laxalivo."Sß It drives Sick Headache like the wind.-\£& C-ifContiius no drastic cathartic or opiates. Promptly cures Rheumatism by routing ii."tis Restores" life-giving properties to the blood.-%5 Is guaranteed to cure all nervous disorders.-©* when all opiates fail.'C V Refreshes the mind and invigorites the body. Cures dyspepsia or money refunded.-^ Endorsed in writing by over fifty thousand .Leading physicians ia U. 8. and Europe.9 Leading clergymen in U. S. and Europe."®!! Diseases of the bl.;od own it a conqueror.-®* For sale by all leading druggists. $1.50. The Dr. S. A. Richmond Medical Co., Props., Ct. Joseph, Mo. (2) Chas. N. Crlttenton, Arcnt, New Yurk City. TUTTS PILLS HHHi A DISORDERED LIVER IS THE BANE of the present generation. It is for the Cure of this disease and its attendants, BTCg-HEADACHE. BILIOUSNESS, DYS PEPSIA-CONSTIPATION, PILES, etc., thai ttfTT'B PILLS have gained a world-wide reputation. No Remedy" hai ever been discovered that acta bo gently on the digestive organs, giving them vigor to a - iimilate food. As a natural result, tho Scrvous System is Braced, the Muscles are Developed, and the Body Robust. Oliill?* and Povcr. E RIVAL, a Planter at Bayou Sara, La., oaya: My plantation Is In a malarial district. For Hovcril years I could not nioko half a crop cn account of blUoua dlPoas® o and chills. I wee nearly discouraged whe» I began tho use of TUTT'S PILLS. The result was my laborers soon became hearty and robust, and I have had no further trouble. Thrr rellfTf Ihe «-«a#ror*ed Utct. elcaiue tti«» Blihml from poinonom bnraon, and ranar the bonoli to act naturally, Willi, out which no one o»n {«■! w»ll. ■TrT tills rpuiFft.T fairly, and yea will Bain a healthy »l«e*Uoii. Vigorous Body. Puro Blood. Mtronar-Ne.v*-*, jndaMound Uv«r. I"rice, 250'cnt*. Offiu,Bs Murray #t., Sf.T, mrSRARDTL f(EA v H air or WmsKERs chanjn>dto a Glossy Black by a Mogle application of t.ns DVE. It imparls a natural coloi, ami acts instantaneous y Sold bv Druggists, or Sent by express ou receipt of One Dollar. • Office, 33 Murray Street, New York. (J>r. Tt'T'l'S MANUAL of I'nluabfeX Information and Useful Itceciptn I trill be mulled FKEE cn application. J JAMES McKEE, JEWELER, AMERICAN WATCHES, Diamond Clocks, Jewelry, Silver and Table Ware, No. 13 FIFTH AVENUE, 0n« door below Market St, PITTSBURGH, PA. LOWEST PRICES IN THE TWO CITIES,. "Ton SALE CHEAP.' In the t >«i of Propect, butler county, Pa., a la-go lot o i which is erected a FOUR ROOMED DWELLIHG, with oi.t hi lues also a tp'.endid well of water. Biing p?c.t*cntly located it must improve in yaino rai i liv. as new railroads are shoitening the distances to all large business centres. En quire of W. GIBSON MILLER, 112 Page St., Allegheny, Pa., ortlO.if "ex POSITION Visitor* fch uhl not fail to call and examine the largest and finest stock of Imported acd Domestic i : ;'iors in the Sfti-to, at - Sffjtx FedcrjU Sfroot, AUeghci v <"iiy, Pa. Opposite Fort Wayne" Passenger Pnpct. PROSPECT ACADEMY. Wintetcir.i of sixteen weeks opo.ns Novem ber 13th. !BH;i Koora rent and boarding ex tremely low. All branches taught. A regular Classical and HiMtntilic coarse in progress. Preparstion for colleges, and teaching the chief aim a:»l purpose of the school. Mauy students will attend the common schools during the winter because it is cheaper than going to an academy, 'l'his is a mistake. It is not cheaper in the end You both time aud money, vou do not hue 1 ho advantages of cldssificavinu and choice of study offered von in our piimarv schools tl.at you have in an ac:vl.;n.y. Address, N 'M. CKOWE, Prospect 1» Elt 11J 1 *I N T NT A MPlHtt FOR KENSINGTON, AE3ASENE AND OUTLINE WOBK DONE, Also left lis iu sauic given by-ANNIE M. LOW MAN, North street, Butler, Pa. juc-20-ly "THE BEST IS CHEAPEST." ENGINES, SAWMILLS. Horse Powen » h iflLonLflO CleverHallera BUTLER, i J A., - WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 24. 188& SABBATH SCHOOL CONVEN TION. Report of the Sixth Annual Con vention of the Butler County S. S. Association, Auxiliary to the Penn'a State S. S. Association, held at North Washington, September 6th and 7th, 1883. First session, Thursday.—Meeting called to order by Chairman Rev. J. R. Coulter; devotional exercises led by W. M. Gr.'ham; address of welcome by Hon. Wm Graham ; response by Rev. J. R. Ccu'ter; notice being given of the absence of' Rev. Taylor, Kev. Marshall was ehoten to open topic assigned Rev. Tavlor. "What benefits may be ex pected from holding Sunday School Conventions," opeced by Rev. C. L. Streamer, co-operation, the pleasures of social intercou r sc, mutual instruction aud edification, the promotion of the interests of a common cause, particular ly the devising of best methods of in struction in the Sunday School, also means for conversion of children, mak ing it fruitful to the soul, great need of turning souls to Christ that they may be fitted for places in the church and even in the world; followed by Rev. Stratton, thinks it will intensify and in crease our interest in the work, our love will also increase, get new ideas and enlarges our ideas and views of the work. W. M. Graham said stirring up ideas is good. Rev. J. R. Coulter s-poke of good results of agricultural conventions so of others and especially Sunday School Conventions. "Failures of Sunday School teacher I #," opened by Rev. J. 11. Marshall, want of interest, want of preparation, thinks it a mistake for teachers to mention last before a class, teachers should examine com mentaries anil helps and prepare in order to teach with success, says some are too profouud, should not try to ex plain difficult parts of the bible, want of application, should be made so as to make it lasting. Rev. K. C. I)odds, many fail by spending all the hour lecturing before their class, thinks question method better and then select different members to answer, also seek out those who haye the natural ability to teach. Rev. J. L. Stratton says no person can teach successfully without preparation, the teacher should get deeper than the surface to teach suc cessfully, must prepare by praver, •teacher should have a definite object in view C. Daubeuspeck said pastors should o.versee and know what is taught aud whether teacher is a failure. Rev. G. W. Bean, we cannot prescribe a rule for teachers to go by as to ques tioning or lecturing a class, want of re sponsibility • has as much to do with failures as living inconsistently, and too many try to teach what does not be long to the lesson. Rev. Streamer thinks teachers should be methodical should follow lesson helps, fails by want of interest, also in making the application. Rev. Coulter said teacher became a failure by example of living before a class. "The necessary qualifications for S. S. teaching," opened by J. W. Orr. faith, next a belief in God, virtue, dar ing to live righteously not caring for the world, to hunger and thirst after knowledge, labor to acquaint them selves with Bible, to be without hy pocrisy, teach and practice temperance, also add patience, godliness and broth erly kindness, charity for all. necessary to make the salvation of the soul para mount. Rev. Bean, teacher should be interested in the work and undertake it with a zeal, get hold of the class en thusiastically and find something for each one to do, think 3 the time will soon come when Sunday school teach ers will be chosen by fitness as other teachers are; R?v. Marshall thought Christian experience a necessary quali fication Adjournment—benediction by Rev Stratton. Evening service.—Devotional exer cise led by Rev. Bean. "lluw may the children of the Sunday school, be trained in the grace of giving," opened bv Re'v. Stratton, instill in their minds objects to promote a good c.iuso, learn them to give from pure motives, a duty to give to the cause of Cbri.-t, impress on them the good results tL it follow; Rev. Streamer said yield to (J >d bis own bv the grace of giving, a timj to give, let the children know what the bene fits are that arise from giving, let them earn fairly and honorably for them selves that they may give to him that needetb; Robert Mcßride referred -to iudividuals being called as co-workers with God by giving to his cause; Rev. Marshall, have them give their contri butions for some benevolent or mission-. ary purpose by actual giving; J. W. Orr, let the children know what a grand thing it is to be able to give to the honor of Christ; Rev. Bean said, let them bear their part by givinga part of God's gift back. "The importance of temperance in our Sunday schools as it relates to in toxicating drinks," opened by Rev. Dodds saying, it should be of the deep est interest to the Sunday school teach ers, the Sunday school a training school, prevention better than cure as but few ever reform .impress it as a vital principle on which his future de pends,-a.sin against- God, the welfare of the chutch and the community de pcnds'on the training of ihe youth with respect to temperance; Rev. Strat ton, insist on saving the young, iustill irfg proper principles into their mindrf, teach them total abstinence and to pro hibit the manufacture and sale of all intoxicants, except for medicinal and mechanical or scientific purposes; R. Mcßride thought mothers should teach more temperance; Rev. 11. J. Smith said, the axe ought to be laid at the root of the matter as it was the vital question of the Sunday school, the children are here trained for good or bad as it relates to intemperance; Rev. Bean, our examples should be right, principles should be taught, great weight of responsibility resting on the ! young women of a community; Rev. j Marshall, Sunday schools should exert and exercise its powc.- u'so make good use of and advance to a higher stage. Adjournment—Benediction by Rev. J. W. Alspach. Morning session, epened with sing ing and prayer. "What inducements are proper to he used to secure attend ance at the Sunday schools. Rev. Streamer thinks best not to make the exercises too long; J. W. Orr talks to them and insists < n their attendance. Rev. Bean, proper help should be got for the children, furnish books, «kc.; Rev. Alspach, teachers should labor to induce them to attend and children should be missionaries; R. Mc Bride thought some one should visit Sunday schools and show how to run them to the best advantage, make them inter esting and secure a oetter attendance. "The duties of parents to the Sun dav schools, opened by Rev. H. J. Smith, set a Godly example, parents should dedicate their children to God, also should be .in the Sunday school with them; J. W. Orr thought parents too often given to fault-finding. "The importance of encouraging children to memorize the scriptures," opeued by Mr. Thompson, said it was good as it is always with us, rivets it to our minds. Mr. Mcßride thought it good to strengthen the mind. Rev. Marshall thinks it makes them more prompt and ready to answer. Mr. Me- Cracken gave his experience how he early memorized the scriptures and and now, when blind, it was such a great comfort to be able to think over what he had memorized when young, exhorted young people to commit to memory the scriptures as, when they became old, they too might become blind. Mr. Cubbison spoke of how it becomes a tort and when there how vcu have the ammunition ready to fight the great enemy. Rev. Bean said it strengthens us for Christian work and makes us strong against temptation. Rev. Stratton thinks it very important to have it as a fund, also for a foundation good to fortify us against infidelity. Mrs. Jas, Cham bers, teach them to memorize and en courage them, as they will then have the sword of the Spirit. Rev. Stream er insist that from now on we get our boys and girls to commit at least the memory verses of the lessou. On mo tion, He solved, By the Butler County Sunday School .Convention, that we heartily recommend to all the teachers of the" county that they hive their scholars commit to memory the scrip ture lessons of each Sunday, and that they report to this convention at its next annual session, the name of each scholar who has conwnitted all the lessons of the vear. Resolved, That the names of all such scholars shall constitute a roll of honor, also that these resolutions with the proceedings of this convention be sent the county papers for publication. Constitution being read . Proceeded to get names of ali wishing to connect themselves with the Butler County Sunday School Association. The following officers were elected for the ensuing year : President, Rev. 11. J. Smith, Butler, Pa ; Secretary, 11. S. Daubenspeck, Bruin, Pa.; Assistant Secretary, P. W. Conway ; Treasurer, J. W. Orr, Bruin, Pa.; Executive Com mittee, Rev. R. C. Dodds, North Hope, Pa., Rev. J. W. Alspach, Isaiah Meals, Wm. Graham and R. A. Mifflin. The time for next aunual convention was placed between June Ist and 15th, 1884 Place left for decision of Execu tive Committee, after corresponding with persons over the county and as certaining where it is desirable to meet. Adjourned. .Afternoon session—Devotional ex ercises led by Rev. 11. J. Smith. On motion moved that all expenses of the association be paid by treasurer. "How shall we give all the exercises of the Sunday School a more devotional character," opened by Rev. C. L. Streamer, thinks best to avoid extremes. Rev. Stratton said prayers are to long and singing sometimes too trifling. liev. Coulter says we should n£t forget that y.*e are worshipping God a::d dealing with sacred things. "Children's meet ing," addressed by Rev. J. D. Decker, refered them first to the lesson of Naomi and Ruth. Rev. Bean told them how Ruth was blest by following Qod's people, insists cn children learn ing about Jesus. Rev. Strattou told them they should be very careful about choosing" associates. Rev. Streamer spoke to them about the old people lav ing their armor by and wished children to get the idea that they are getting older, try'every day to grow better, in sists on obedience to parents. Closing address by Rev. Coulter, he first addresses the "children refers to how parents are attached to their children, asks the children to honor their parents, speaks of the pleasant meeting, expresses his thanks to the association for his long term, speaks of our need of increased enthusiasm, of the work to do after the adjournment of the Convention; impresses the dutv of teachers making' preparation and be ing present, next the duty of pareuts to have their children in Sunday school, get them helps and all they need; he next asks the young men and ladies to attend at Sunday school aud teach, not to get too old tojhelp in Sun day school—a call from God. Time is passing and the experieuce of all the country is that people are going to their graves. Remember the good things said at this meeting. On motion, resolved, That the thanks of this Association aud this Convention are due and are hereby heartily tendered to our President, Rev. J. R. Coulter for bis presence at all our meetings of this Association, for the Christian kindness, courtesy and efficiency with which be has invariably presided over our deliberations. A motion cf thanks was tendered the citizens for their kindness in enter taining persons attending the Conven tion Reports from Sunday schools were handed in and after a review of the work the Association has cause for renewed zea', aud not only members lut all interested in the coming of Christ's Kingdom should labor to b:iag those out of the fi>M to Christ. 11. S. DAUBENSPECK. Sec'y , Bruin, Pa. Letter From California. NEWII ALL, Sept., ISB3. I was at a Mexican celebration of the independence of Mexico (which took place in 1806 I believe) on the lfith day of December. It consisted of bar rooms without and dancing within, kept up all the time from Saturday night till Monday morning without cessation. All the people are as black asMulattoes. They had a barbacued hog and it was all free ; we were in vitei to eat and did so, and enjoyed the 1 meal very much. The large room had no. ceiling but the rafters were deco rated with different colored mosquito bars, giving it a rather pretty effect with a profusion of pretty mottoes and tensel ornaments and the pictures of prominent persons what took part in severing the Spanish yoke. From a high pole in the yard could be seen the Mexican colors red, white and green, a globe of wicket work covered with bleached muslin concealed four candles which were lit at night, for no other use that I could sec but to keep the drunken Mexicans from stray ing too far from the festivi ties of the night. The distance wo traveled to get to this places iu a val ley about a mile wide, was 13 miles, and that the farming is principally done by irrigation. On each side of this valley is a wall of mountains as rugged as'the Alps and as wild as the Sierra Nevada's, where wild animals prowl and the deer is found. We visit ed what is called the Canunloes Ranch an old and quite a noted place where there is a wine and brandy distillery and a large vineyard of all kinds of grapes; those large, white Califoruia grapes are in abundance, also oranges, lemons, appricots, pomegranates, figs, the finest pears I ever beheld, peaches and apples, English walnuts and al monds. In the garden was a fountain falling into a pool filled with 3sh. Aud nearly almost hidden from view by the thick foliage was a small chapel for private use, iu which I stepped and found it resembled a minature church within as all the people hereabouts are Catho lics and no church within 20 or 30 miles, they think they must have some thing in the shape of a church. We stepped into a cellar in which were about a hundred of as old antequated, ill-shaped casks, as any one ever be held with all kinds of wine and braudy, and several other kinds of liquors, and at almost any moderate age. The house was quite large ; it looked more like a fort being about 100 feet each way and a court yard In the mid dle, and no windows visible on the out side, and my recollection is they all faced into the court yard. This family is quite a noted family in that imme diate vicinity and rather hold them selves a step superior to the Mexicans here, and are extremely kind to us and also charge us a pretty round sum for all we get. As as in a general way, California is a very expensive place to move about in. Railroad tares are high ; also hotels, in fact, every thing but fruit I was down at Lost Angeles, about a week ago, and found it a most lovely city. The Tropical Foliage and the Blue Mountains in the distance, con trasted with the level valley, makes a very romantic aud picturesque scene. The Eucalyptus tree is one of the principal shade trees, and has a won derful fast growth, but the pepper tree is the most beautiful shade tree I ever saw. It resembles fine green lace and its branches spread like the weeping willow of which many can be seen, along the irrigating ditches. The streets are broad and thronged with vehicles, and everything bears a Metropolitan aspect. The business aud other buildings are gotten up iu a rich and most substantial style, and the gardens of some of the private resi dences are most superbly errand, sur rounded by cedar hedges 10 feet high and 4 feet'through, solid clear through, and as delicate as moss on the outside. The other day I saw a flock of Cash mere goats, which are clipped like sheep, in one of the valleys of these mountains. They were very pretty. JOHN. Railroad Wrecking. According to the report of Captain Breck, Master in the case of certain stockholders of the Pittsburgh, New Castle & Lake Erie Railroad against the Pittsburgh k Western Railroad Company, the sale of the franchises of the first named, company, under judg ment and execution, was fraudulent. In other words, it was an attempt at railroad wrecking on a small scale, i'he Master finds that the linaucial condition of the Pittsburgh, New Castle & Lake Erie, at the' date of sale, was not such us to require or justify that proceeding; That the sale was made in pursuance of an agreement between certain gentle men who wished to purchase the franchises and property and organize a new corporation, which was done; and that to facilitate their scheme they cir culated a statement to the effect that the sale was intended to get rid of a lot of bogus stock. On the finding, those stockholders who have brought suit are entitled to recover against certain of the defend ants, on the grounds that the sale was in fraud of their rights. The value of each share is fixed at $127, making an aggregate of $155,751. To this is added $40,010 interest since the date of sale. The defendants are all well known citizens and business men, and the case has excited a good deal of interest. Some of the gentlemen are entirely ex onerated from any responsibility what ever, legal or otherwise, but others have not been so unfortunate. Excep tions were filed before the Master, and will be renewed in Court unless there is an amicable settlement in the mean time—Pittsburgh Commercial Gazette, Oct. U. A Strange Companionship. PHILADELPHIA, October lfi.—Wm. Briiiberhoff, of this city, is the owner of an aquarium. At one time it was well stocked with gold Jfish, which, however, through the neglect of a care less servant became reduced to a single survivor. This one has been the object of the most jealous care on the part of Mr. Brinkerhoff, who objected strenu ously to the introduction into his house hold in July last of a large Maltese cat, the pet of his youngest daughter. The child, however, overruled her father's objectiojs and secured a berth for her pot, promising to guard the gold fish i from its attentions. That she had not kept this engage ment was to-day proved to her father as he entered the little parlor of his residence and found the cat its sole oc cupant save the gold fish in the globe, for which grimalkin was evidently pre paring to make a fishing excursion. For this purpose, apparently, it leaped upon a chair at the side of the glass. The fish showed signs of consciousness of the cat's approach but no fear. On the country, it rubbed its nose against the glass and splashed its tail in the water as if to attract the cat's atten tion. The gold fish came to the surface blowing in a manner which Mr. Briuk erhoff characterizes as impatient. Upon this the cat, raising itself on the edge of the bowl, reached over a paw. The gold fish swam gently directly under it, when the cat softly stroked its back, purring meanwhile with great content ment. The fish.however, seemed still unsat isfied,and darting »wav from its strange companion, swam rapidly about the bowl, and then sought bottom. The cat remained in its position as if puz zled. Shortly afterward the fish came to the surface again and snapped at a tiy which was crossing the water and rested after having done so on the edge of the bowl. The cat, seeming to ap preciate the situation, with a single swift movement caught the fly and dropped it into the mouth of its finny friend The latter then submitted con tentedly to the back scratching endear ment which it had before received. Mr. Brinkerhoff ascertained from bis little girl that the strange companionship had existed for some weeks, but she had foared to tell of it, as her negligence had allowed its formation. Score One for Greene. A Greene county turkey shooter cc'ives this account of his paralizing a lot of professional sportsmen, who went out to show the bush rangers how to shoot: 'Take one of tbem tur keys and tic her 1,000 feet off.' And after they did I took six bullets and asked them to mark 'em. 'Now,' says I, 'here's a piece ot paper on which is writ where you'll find them marked bullets when I git through shootin', and with that I handed the paper, fold ed, to one o' the men and commenced to fire.' When I was done they looked at the paper and it read, 'Stomach,' and sure enough, in the turkey's stom ach they found the six bullets How was it done? Why, jest by my takin' advantage of my knowledge of nature. I knowed turkeys would pick up' any thing, so I loaded light and struck the turkey's bill every time, so that the bullet stuck there. The bird would put its head down, scratch off the bul let, look at it a minnit and then swal low it, and so it did the whole six.' —The youthful "rake" is not as use ful as a fine-tooth comb. —lt takes only a grape skin to make the dude lose his balance. —A tongue-tied man should beware of the matrimonial knot. —Every dog that has a bark should be launched—"into eternity." —That man grows gross, sir, who waxes fat by not paying his grocer. —Many a fellow has tried "to fight the tiger" with chips—and failed. —"No time like the present," re marked the boy with the new gift watch. —The girls are gathering and press ing autumn leaves, and the boys—well they would prefer to press the girls. —A man is known by the cc-ipany he keeps, but a woman is known by the company her neighbor entertains. —A young man in town was 100 full for utterance last Saturday night, lie had been visiting several beer sa loons during the evening. —:Michigan boasts of a man ninety years old who was never known to say an ill word of a fellow man. Then he is not a musician. —lt is rather surprising, but we do no hear of many homicides who are proved to be so insane that they wish to be hanged for murder. —Winter is drawing near and while oysters are the natural successors of strawberries, hot coffee is easily spliced on cold lemonade, and roast beef on ice cream. —A Brooklyn young lady, who prosecuted a faithless lover for breach of promise, testified that they had, "by actual count," exchanged 30,000 kisses by mail. —When a man has nothing higher to worship than his own impudence it is natural for him to spell God with a small g and begin his own name with a capital letter. —Sin is yery much like the ordinary North American mule. It may be very tame and docile at the front, but in the rear there is always a sly kick hidden away, and you'd better be on your guard. —lt must have been a terrible state of affairs, that caused the Psalmist to at«k: "Who can stand before his cold?" IP his day the remedies were few and doubtful; how much happier should this generation be, that has a house hold remedy, Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup; so wonderful has been its cures that millions rise up and call it "blessed." THE MAN lfl THE MOON. Oh, the nun in the Moon has a oriek i:i his buck ; Whee! Whimui! Aiu't you sorry for him ? Ami a mole on his nose that is purple ant! black; And his eyes are so weak that they wntc-r and run If he dares to dream even that he looks at the sun ; So he iust dreams of the stars as the doctors ad vise. My! Eyes! But isn't he wise— To dream of the stars, as the doctors advise ? Aud the man in the Moon has a boil on hi* ear; Whee! Whing! What a singular thing ! I knew! but these facts are aatfceutic ray dear— There's a boil on his ear and a oara on kis chiir— He calls it a dimple—buTdimples ia— Yet it might be a dimple,turned over you kaow Whang !J Ho! Why certainly so ! Might be a dimple'turned over, you know ! Aud the man in the Moon has a rheumatic knee—■ Gee! Whizz ! What a pity this is! And his toes have worked rouad where his heels ought to be. So whenever he wauta to go north£he goe« south, And comes back \jith porridge crumbs all rouud his mouth, And he brushes them off with a Japanese fan. Whing! Whang! What a marvelous man! What a very remarkable, marvelous man ! J. IP. U. —A good sculptor ought to .make a model husband. —A tender place—between the loco motive and car. —How would you enjoy being treat ed like an oyster—made to shell out. —The world's estimate of a man is drawn from the shine on his coat and nose. —Kissing babies and making church donations are obsolete political practi ces. —ln Africa salt is a delicacy. A man might make a fortuue selling pretzels. —Enterprising Pittsburgers con tinue to "chin" about building another Exposition. —When a man becomes so conceited that he can't be taught he and a fool wear the same cap. —A profession of honesty by some people makes us think of a blacksmith with a white silk apron on. —Coffee-tinted lace is the latest. The ladies wear it to the theater; it matches their escorts breath. —When you get in a towering pas sion you sit astride a horse that is like ly to run away with you. —lt is a very popular saying that we should put off to-day wo ought to have done yesterday. —At the White Mountains the girls all comb their hair back from fte fore head. That is why it is called a bang up place. —Before handing your last over-coat to your wife for repaid, it is a wise plan to go through the pockets carefully —Connecticut is the land of steady habits. It is also the place where the Chinese can buy their idols at manu facturer'# prices. —When a man kicks a can of nitro glycerine he gets a large amount of in formation, but so suddenly that it docs him no good. —Mr. D. P. Crosby, Pottstown,Pa., says: "I used Brown's Iron Bitters for indigestion and debility and am much improved. —The man who runs for office also runs the risk of a divorce from his wife. No man knows how wicked ho is until his political enemies writo his life. —lt is said to bo a good plan to burn a little sulphur in the cellar occasional ly. The fumes sweeten the air and kills the germs which taint tho butter and meat, and they will do no harm in a sanitary way. —"Let us plaj we are married," said little Edith, "and I will bring my dolly and say : 'See, baby, papa.' " "Yes," replied Johnny, "and I willsay: 'Don't bother me now ; I want to look through the paper.'" —lt's a poor philosophy that makes a fortune in crooked ways and tries to smooth matters over by giving a moie-. ty of the interest thereof in charity.. The old English proverb pnts H strong enough when it says, "There bo those who steal a goose and give the giblets in alms." J —A New York Judge who was try ing a man charged with robbing a woman of her gold watch as she was stepping on a horse-car, did a neat piece of cross-examination. The man claimed that the watch wa3 his, and the woman mistaken In identifying it as hers. Suddenly the Judge asked, "Where's the key?" The prisoner fumbled in bis pocket and said he must have left it home. The Judge asked him if he wound it very frequently with the key, and he said yes. Then a key was procured, watch and key were handed to the prisoner, and ho was told to wind the watch. 110 opened the case but could not find any place to use the key, because the watch was a stem winder. The sentence was five years and six months, and the thief had uot a word to say. t-WSubseribc for the CITIZBN* NO. 48