VOL. XX. BOOTS and SHOES SPRING STYLES NOW OPENING AT" THE Bonf li Ifiof iiE i|OF||- I. C. fIDSETOS. Ltirseoi aud Fliknl Slyles and Lowest Prices ever shown by any lloiihc in Bnller. All Frewli CJoodH MADE TO MY SPECIAL ORDERS an.l warranted. Our motto is FAIR DEALING WITH EVERYBODY, goods just as we rep resent them, same price to all. Quick sales and small profits. I WANT THE LADIES To look at my French Kid Turn Button Boots (Cur Kid. Mat Top Cur. Kid Fox Boots.) Gondola, (St Goat, Pebble Goat.) Serge, (Goat Fox. Cloth top Boots.) Pebble Grain, OLD LADIES' WIDE SHOES AND SLIPPERS. Walking Shoes, Sandals, Opera Slippers, Ladies' Button Boots from SI.OO and upwards. Ladies can find in this Stock any style and priced shoe they want. I WANT THE OEWTLEZHEBT To step in and look at my Calf Boots, Calf Bals, Button Shoes London toe and tip, Veal Calf Shoes cloth tops, Congress Gaiters, Base Ball Shoes, Oxford ties strap shoes, Plow Shoes, Brogans, Hob Nail Shoes for miners, all of these are cfcsirable goocjs frofn the cheapest Brogan to the F' n ® s t ffand Sewetj Boot and Shop. X WANT THE BOYS AND GIRLS To see our School Shoes, Fine Button Boots and Bals, Slippers, &c., all New and Nice Styles very cheap. Infants' and childrens' Shoes in endless variety, from 25 cents upwards. The Largest Rtoelc of Leather and Findings of any House In Butler. Lowest Prices. New Goods Constantly Arriving. piMIRIXG.—AII kiudH done at Reasonable Kates. ££ME AND SEE THIS STOCK BEFOftE YOU BUY. B* C, UUSELTON, Butler, Pa. NEW STORE. NEW STOCK A NEW AND COMPLETE STOCK OF 11111111 l IIP tIIDIIHS JUST BtCHHDJ " GAK AND HEMLOCK Sfil F. PFJ'PR. BiLTING, HARNESS AND LACE LEATHER PINK LI IN-JUST C3-S, ETC. ALSO HANVFACTt'RUR OB 1 ALL KINDS OF Carnage, Buggy and Wagon Harness, Collars, Etc., Etc. And carry a full Ktock of Whipu, Robes, Blankets, Bru»licn, and all other Oooda belonging to the Btuineiw, All Kind* of Repairing will Receive Prompt At^tiop. ft* yiwtiie ;alj Md exau>Ti,e Plastering Hair Always oil Hand. CANII PAID FOR HIDEH AND PELTH. C. ROESSING, lioibor'b Block Jufferaon Street, oppouito Lowry Houue, Butler, Pa D. A. HECKT CARPETS, CLOTHING A N V GENTS' FURNISHING GOODS. JUSTICE TO ALL. ONE PRICE ONLY. BLOCK, MAIN ST., BUTLER, PA. C. B. BARRETT & CO., W4 im L sß^ E k! RS ' Have U It to much larger and more commodious UB roo|lls in "AUBUCKLI'J BUILDING," Nos. fl-18 ys- Kpsia, Liver Affection and Debility, but never ve found anything to benefit me to the extent Simmons Liver Regulator has. I sent from Min nesota to Georgia for it, and would send further for such a medicine, and would advise all who are sim ilarly affected to give it a trial as ii seems the only thing that never fails to relieve. P. M. JANNKT, Minneapolis, Minn. Dr. T. W. Mason says: From actual ex perience in the use of Kiinmons Liver Regulator in my practice I have been and am satisfied to u&* and prescribe it as a purgative medicine. Ite?* Take only the Genuine, which always has on the Wrapper the red Z Trade-Mark snd Signature of J. 11. 2EILIN & CO. FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. * HOUSEHOLD WORDS. » m 44 For Hick Htomach, bad taste, sinking B* S spells and palpitation, rely wholly on l'K- g. ■3 • 9 '' For Want or Appetite. 1 >)rfipeiwla. In- M q digestion ami I.lver Complaint, take l'K- o BUNA; It never falls." {■■■■■■■■ l jt ? "For Cramp of tlie Sumiacli or ( olic. E 5 FEBUKA In largedoses la infallible. ** BK • ••Those In literary, professional or com- «• tmcrclal pursuits, need I'kkuna. " IMBI t" 1 "Forsick Headache, pain In the liead, o dizziness ami lowsplrlls, take PERU* A." f? J# ltnad and Btuily our luuik on the "Illstjf ... P I.lfe follow Its teachings and he happy. -~ q "l.adle*. If you wish strength, health, " and beauty, sweet breath, cherry Him Mia 3 rosy cheeks, lake A liefore each o "For tHir'Jfilc ("atatrri. Nervous I>e- jj" t> bli'lt/; lllww'ieiiof the l.lveraii'l Kidneys, m take I'KIU NA." pnMßMpii v> S Ask your druggist for our pamphlet on a 2 the "lUsnf l.lfu,'"S. 11. Ilariinuii \ i'q.. Ostxirn. Ohio, proprietors. JPHNHHI © For I oiutlpatli.ii, Liver, Kidneys, take * THE TESTS QE 40YEARS I PROVE BEYOND DOUBT THAT PcrryDavis'sPainKiller THE PRE AT HEALTH KpEPER THE RELIEVER Oj- I^l STRESS ! | fOR PAIN THE ENEMY OF DISEASE AND A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY, WHICH SHOULD * ALWAYS BE AT HAND. . ... {iVE&Y DRUGGIST keeps PerryDavis'sPainKijler BUTLER COUNTY Mutual Fire Insurance Co. Office Cor. Main and Cunningham Sts. G. C. ROESSING, PRESIDENT. WM. CAMPBELL, TREASURER. H. C. HEINEMAN, SKCRETAKY. DIRECTORS: J. L. ParTls, E. A. Wllllaip tiiiapball, J. W.Mlurkliart, A. Troutiaan, Jacob gchoene, 0. 0. KoeMing, John Caldwell, Dr. W. lrviu, J. J. Croll, A. B. Rhodes, H. C. Helneman. JAS. T. M'JUNKIN, Gen. A*'t BUTLBB FA.. T[ICH[RS w »jppP^ I UHIIIILIIU ■I'KINU mni HUMMER. A'Mrett J. C. MtCenoV b Co.. rhiluMliiila.Pa. MEN WANTEn B« s u&m mK-Msemmmmgr SWOJKT SAI.ARY.H W> yrt a fow nr»r<* ro!tabic men to sell orit Xinm-ry Ktoluc:k. energy ami jh»jv M*vcrancc « , mi without previous experience. Sltuatio'is iter wuh'ii/.iiiiil pay lurgc. I'urtDulnni frce on appllcut 1011. AduroMM. xtntimr agr, and . IN-'-tnrip, tt. U. ( io,. «• pfb* films* U#» in »<*!laii|{ 7.»* i. ••vrry«lhia, I'v '* TMC BEST IS CHEAPBBT." KNGIMS. THRF^HFR^ SAWXILLB > HoruPowert» nnLOnLnO ciorcrHillen 1(nult«fl to all MVtlanjl. Wrilr for FRKE lllun. I'ainnhlt* mutl I'rioMi Ui Tiu> AulUuan A Taylor < 0.. Maiulltia. Ohio. Advertise in UTLER, PA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 9, 1883 JUDICIAL HISTORY. An Interesting Resume of Old Time Legal Proceedings as Presented Before the Western Pennsylva nia Historical Society. At a recent regular meeting of the i Western Pennsylvania Historical So ciety, the eveniny was devoted to the ! Hon. Judge White in a lecture on the "Judiciary of Allegheny County." He began with the first court held west of the Allegheny mouutaius, in Bedford, April 16, 1771. Two years later Wtstmoreland was formed out of a part of Bedford, and embraced all the province west of the mountains. The law directed that the court should be held in the house of Robert Hanna, three miles north of the present site of Greensburg. Hanuastown wa3 formed and afterwards burned in 1782, but for fifteen years court was stiil held there. A low jail was erected near Hanna's house. William Craw ford was the first Presiding Judge. He served for nine years, and died a horrible death at the hands of the In dians, in the fatal expedition against the Sandusky villages. The Justices of the Peace in the county formed the court, both civil and criminal. Three of them formed a quorum, with one acting as president judge. Later in 1777 they were appointed and commissioned. Edward Cooke, Esq., was the first appointee. In 1785, John Moon, a Justice of the Peace, was commissioned as the first resident president judge west of the mountains. The Pittsburgh courts, up till 1788, were held at Hannastown. The jail, a log pen, was not for imprisonment as a part of the sentence, but a place where prisoners were kept pending trial. The penalties were usually fines, whipping, standing in the pillory stocks, and clipping of ears. The whipping post was a stout sapling with a cross to which the prisoners were tied. The pillory allowed the prisoner's head to be exposed, at which, at common law, each passing citizen was allowed to cast a stone. TIIp FIRST EXECUTION. The records of those days show many sentences to each mode of pun ishment. Sometimes the whipping post, the pillory and the ear-clipping process were combined. The first person convicted of murder west of the mountains was an Indian of the Dela ware tribe. In 1785 he, while drunk, killed one of the Smiths on the Alle gheny side of the river. He plead guilty before Chief Justice McKean. While in jail he was twice allowed to go to the woods, once for roots to cure a sick child of the jailor, aud once for roots with which to paint him self on the day of the The rope broke once and the whole mat ter was a bungling affair. He died like a warrior. The first courts held withiu the present city limits were under the laws of Virginia iu 1775, under the authority of Lord Dunmore. Pennsylvania and Virginia both claim ed the territory, and the organization of Westmoreland county in 1773 rous ed Virginia to an active agspft'PH fcf her claims. L or( l Huumoio appointed Dr. John Connolly bis agent here to urge Virginia's claims A Westmore land county justice threw Couuolly into prison. When Couuolly came out he|put the Westmoreland county justice iu jail. When the Revolutionary War broke out, Virginia abandoned her claims, Lord Dunmore and Dr. Con. Nolly both fleeing the T°»'y headquart ers. In 1776 the tcrritovy was DIVIDED INTO THREE COUNTIES, called Ohio, Yohogania, and M°nonga hela. Pittsburgh wa» in Vohogania county, cumprised of the present terri tory in Allegheny and part of Wash ington counties. The courts were held regularly until 1780, sometimes at Pittsburgh, sometimes near the pres ent site of Washington, but oftener on the farm of .Andrew Heath, on the Monongahela River, near tip jinp be tween AUeglipny and Washington counties. A ducking stool was built at this point to punish scolding wives. It was a large see-saw arrangement with a chair near tho water, in the victim way lash ed, and her virulent temper cooled by repeated tills into the cold water. Two thousand dollars Continental cur rency, worth two cents on tho dollar, were expended on a whipping post and stocks in the court house yard on Heath's farm. The following sched ule of prices was decreed by the court in 1777 for tavern-keepers : Halt pint of whinky 'h The same made '.nto tcd«!ty .... l» d Allegheny county was established September 24, 1788. It embraced all tho territory now iu Allegheny county, Beaver, Butler, Crawford, Erie, l aw reuce, Mercer, yenanuo, Warrpn, and parts of Indiana and Clarion. Tho first Court of Quarter Sessions was held December 16, 1788, by George Wallace, President Judge, and James Scott, John Wilkins and John Johnston, assistants. The first term of the Common IMeas was held March, 1789 The appearance docket had 56 cases, but all that the minutes of the court of that date say about it is, "Cpurt vy&3 (leld before John Wal lace and 'hi.T assistants," not' even giv ihg their names. • CHANGES IN TIIF. JUDICIARY Radical changes were made in the judicial system tth year. Charles Shaler succeeded him as President Judge in 1841, but resign ed the office in 1844. As a man of honor he was widely respected. His legal knowledge was wonderful. T. B. Dal las succeeded him. A Grain of Wheat. Although we partake of the manu facture of this staff of life daily, how few have ever thought of the marvelous complexity of a single grain. An ex pert in the "American Miller" gives the following description of it, which doubtless will be read with interest by every one : Through the centre of the kernel runs a groove, so that a horizontal section is heart shaped. Under a glass we see that it is very composite in structure. The outside layer or cuticle, which forms the bran, is composed mainly of silex, the mineral base of sand, which by means of the potash iu the soil is made soluble, and is carried by the little veins of the wheat plant and deposited with the wood tissue. The nutriment in this triple coat is not digestible by the human stomach, but is excellent for cattle. The layer next inside this is the styled gluten. This is a complex substance and in the highest degree nutritious, esj>ecially to the muscular tissues of man. Gluten pure is composed mainly of protein, which is the basis of the nitrogenous compound albumen, fibrin aud casein, with a slight addition of sulphur. Oil this layer depends largely the nutritive value of wheat. When flour stands for some time after grinding some of the gluteu changes its form to albumen, aud thus improves its bread making quality, to that the baker considers flour a month old better than the fresh ground. The substance is not strictly limited to this layer of the grain, but is found both iu the bran and distributed through the starch. Within this gluten layer lies the Btarch constituting the mass of the kernel. The starch con aists of minute granules about 1.000 of an inch in diameter. The nuclei around which cluster these tiny granules some think are gluten. This is certainly true of oats. On the mingling of the gluten with the starch depends the value of wheat for making bread. For besides the protein, crude gluten con tains sugar, gum uoluUu albumen. I'he decoßmouition 0 f sugar in fermen tation produces carbonic acid, which becomes entangled in the tenacious gluten, expands in the heat of baking, aud renders the loaf light and spongy. In the centre of the kernel, when the outer layer turns into the body and doubles around, forming an inner heart shaped section, lie the phosphates of soda, lime anil nwju«sia, 1 which are the hone an(l Uraiu making elements of wheat, in the crease, near the large cm} of the kernal, lies the germ, which, though rich in gluten, contains oily and dark matter that injures the color and quality of the flour, and should bo removed. Over the germ is a thin scale like pellicle, easily removed with the thinnh nail, revealing the little germ containing cells beneath. The germ, by slight pressure, may bo re moved, leaving the cell, whiph, how ever, is coated oily flatter, which should also bp kept out of the flour. At the other end of the kernel is a sort of fine brush appendage formed of ntimer : ous downy filameut£ of a slight salmon tint- are useful to the seed in the.ground as absorbents of moisture, but in the flour impair both its color and flavor, and should be eliminated This brush end and the crease, with the wrinkled surfnee of the grain, are grand dust and dirt catchers, and a large amount of the machinery of our modern mills is for the solo purpose of cleaning the grain from dirt and freeing it of the bran germ, brush and oily matter, whi< h injures its capacity for making white, v,nd nuUitious About Dogs. Little Johnny relates an amusing anecdote about dogs : One time there was a feller hot a dog of a man in the market, and the dog it was a biter. After it had bit the feller four or five times he threw i\ cloc ovei its ,jc'v.k and led it back to the dog man in the market and he said to the dog man, the feller did, "Die man, didn't y. Harlan (just elected in Senator Evcr hart's place) of Chester, in the Senate —and mauy who made it a plank to slide down into a position of simple bread and butter. Let me name thoso only which now occur to me: Adam Woolever, Harry Iluhn and William C. Shurlock, from a scat in the House to the desk of a chief clerk; I). L. Ini brie (once a Senator) and Robert S. Franier, to clerkships iu the Auditor General's office; 11. S. Grcenawalt and E. 11. 11. Stackpole to the Treasury; M. Edgar King, to the Auditor Gener als department, Lucius Rogers ar.d | J. B. Agnew, to that of Internal Af fairs; J. Q. Stewart, to the School De partment; J. E. Allen, A. W. Bell and i James J. Monagban, The point that I would make in all i of this, and which I would impress' upon the young men especially, is that I there is nothing in politics a*i a busi- ' ness. If successful, nothing more than a haro living; if unsuccessful, nothing but an outlay of time and money. A government clerkship makes u man a machine, stunts his business development, and dwarfs all his uobler aspirations into a simple de sire to keep on the pay roll. Any honorable occupation affords as good a j living; anything reputable is just as ' honorable; anything honorable more permanent and independent. The chances, as I have endeavored to show by the actual figures, for either promo tion or permanent are «t - the chances of being struck by lightning. If what I have written deters any young man with the legislative or any other political bee in his bonnet from further follow ing the ignis fatuus of politics my object has been accomplished. —The Governor of North Carolina said to the Governor Caro lina . "Sir, the best remedy in the world is Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup" aud Ihe latter seconded the assertion. —A girl has been born out West with three tongues. If she does not die young some poor man will com mit suicide. Nothing so simplo autf per fect for colojiag *s trie Diamond Dyes, i'oi carpet rags, better ami cheaper than any other dve-stuffs. —"Here I've been talking for half an hour," said the auctioneer, "and 1 havn't got au offer." "Half an hour, indeed, murmercd an elderly maiden, "what's half an hour to many long yeafs, and still no hope of an offer ?" —That poor bedridden, invalid wife, sister, mother or daughter, can be made the picture of health by a few bottles of Hop Bitters, Will you let them suffer? \vh.'« »» easily cured! ('-eople who have been bostercd up and levered all their lives are sel dom good for auythiug in a crisis. When misfortune comes they look around for something to cling to or lean upon, li the prop is not there down they go. Simple Remedies Half a teaspoonful of common table salt dissolved in a little cold water and drank, will instantly releave 'heart burn' or dyspepsia. If taken every morning before breakfast, increasing the ' quantity to a teaspoonful of salt and a | tumbler of water, it will, in a few days, j cure any ordinary case of dyspepsia, if at the same time due attention is paid to the diet.—There is no better remedy than the above for constipation. As a gargle for sore throat it is equal to chlorate of potash, and is entirely safe. It may be used as often as desired, and if a small quantity is swallowed each time it will have a beneficial effect upon the throat by cleansing it and by allay ing the irritation. In doses of one to four teaspoonfuls in half a pint to a pint of tepid water, it acts as an emetic : and iu case of poisoning is always at hand. It is an excellent remedy for bites and stings of insects. It is a valuable astringent in hem orrhages, particularly for bleeding after the extraction of teeth. It has both cleansiDg and healing properties, and is therefore a most excellent application for superficial ulcerations. Mustard is another valuable remedy. —No family should be without it. Two or three teaspoonfuls of ground mustard stirred in half a pint of water acts as an emetic very promptly, and is milder and easier to take than salt and water. Fqual parts of mustard and Hour, made into a paste with svarm water, and spread on a thin piece of muslin, with another piece of muslin laid over it, forms the often indispensa ble "mustard plaster." It is almost a specific for colic, when applied & few minutes over the "pit of the stomach." For all internal painsl'&nd congestions, there is no remedy of such general utility. It acta as a counter-irritant, by drawing the blood to the surface, hence iu severe c ises of croup a small mustard plaster should be applied to the back of the child's neck. The same treatment will also relieve almost any case of headache. A mustard plaster should be moved about over the spot to be acted upon, for if left too long iu one place it is liable to blister. A mustard plaster acts as well when at considerable distanco from the affected part. An excellent substitute for mustard plasters is what is known as "mustard leaves." Tbey come a dozen iu a box, and are about four inches long; they are perfectly dry, and will keep for a time. For use, it is only necessary to dip one iu a dish of water for a minute, and then apply it. Common baking soda is the best of all remedies iu case of scalds and burns. It may be used on the surface of the burned place either dry or - wet. When applied promptly, the sense of relief is magical. It seems to with draw the heat and with it the pain, and the healing process soon com mences. It is the best application for eruptions caused by poisonous plants, as also for bites and stings of insects. Owing to colds, over-fatigue, auxiety, and various other causes, the urine is often scanty, highly colored, and more or less loaded with phosphates, which settle to the bottom of the vessel on cooling. As much soda as can bo dip ped up with a 10-cent piece, dissolved iu half a glass of cold water and drank every three hours will soon remedy the trouble and cause relief to the oppres sion that always exists from interrup tion of the natural flow of urine. This treatment should not be continued more that twenty-four hours. Consoling Widows. Jeremy Taylor is of all the old divines one of the most devout and sober-minded, yet there is a veiu of humor in him that breaks out most (piaintly oven iu his "Holy Living and Holv Dying." In his consolations to widows he cautious them against con soling themselves too soon with fresh husbands, and by way of an example of unseemly haste ho cites tho widow of Kphesus whose story is told by Petronius: Her beloved spouse was laid in the tomb, and the same night she came and went down into the vault to weep and die with him. In the midst of the cemetery was a gibbet, on which was the dead body of a murderer, and a soldier stood guard. Ho saw the woman go into the vault, and finding it yery lonely where fie wus standing, lie presented himself at the door of the tomb and scraped acquaintance with the disconsolate woman. Slio permit ted htii) to come in and then told him that she was there to perish with her dear departed. Ho succeeded ic the course of a few hours in convincing her that it would be .much more sensible to live for him than to dio for tho dead man, and they struck up an engage ment before the morning light returned. This being settled the soldier went up to look after his charge on the gibbet, when, oh ! the friends had been there and stolen him, and the soldier, rushing back to the vault, drew his sword to kill himself, for his life would be the forfeit of his neglect of duty. Hut she told liiin she could show him a trick worth two of that; tho dead husband was nothing to her now she had a live one, and so together they managed to get tl e corpse out and upon the gibbet in place of tho murderer. Thus the life of the soldier was saved and the widow didn't starve to death in the tomb. Jeremy Taylor thinks tbis was un becoming haste, and we quite agree with Jeremy. —lf an idea strikes you forcibly rub arnica on the bruised part, and you m»y never bo utfected in like manner ngaiu. Talent is power; tact in skill. Tal ent is weight; tact is momentum. Talent knows what to do; tucts knows how to do it. Talent mukes a man re spectable; tact will make him respect ed. Talent is wealth; tact is ready money. For all practical purposes of life tact carries it against talent in the proportion of ten to one. BREVITIES. FIRSTLINGS OF SPRIXf. Pretty'golden dandelions With your seeds of feather. Starring all the country side In the sunny weather; Violets filled with dewdrops, Pilicateand sweet. Giving out your fragrance rnderueath our feet. Daisies in the meadow. With your silver frills: Hoses by the wayside, Kingcups ou tiie hills: Star dowers and innocence: Windy, clouds swept clover; Lovely little blossoms All the wide world over— When I see you crowding I know that Summer comes Soou, I know, the birds sing. Soon the wild bee huni'.. When 1 see you blooming. All a honeyed crew, Into songs and gladness, My heart blossoms too ! The Vastness of the Goal Area. In a paper read before the Mining Institute of Pennsylvania we find the following: In the event of the exhaustion of the Anthracite coals, in 300 years, or less, what then ? One hundred years ago, perhaps, the same query might have been uiade with reference to the rapid destruction of our forests of timber. We can answer to our own questions by referring to the 11,000 square mile 3 of Bituminous coal in Western Penu sylvania; an area more than twentv times that of the Anthracite coal field From the Alleghanies. we move south ward over a vast sea, as it were, of coal area, stretching iu one continuous line iuto Ohio, Maryland, West Virginia, 1 ennessee, Alabama and Georgia. 1 hen farther west, iuto Michigan, In diana, Kentucky, Illinois, lowa, Kan sas, Missouri, Arkansas, and away info lexas. But these States contain only the true Bituminous coals that lie east of the Rocky mountains. Beyond theso fields we meet the post cretaceous fields of Colorado, New Mexico, Wy oming, and those of the far away Cali fornia, Washington and Oregon. \\ bore, iu this vast world of ours, mav not coal be found ? What shall we say of Mexico, South America and Furope':' \\ hat makes Great Britian prominent, buther coal mines? Three hundred and seveuty millions of dollars repre sented the product of all her mines in 1880 Her iron, copper, tin, lead, silver, salt, etc., yield her an income ol fifty-eight millions of dollars ; her coal miues, three hundred and twelve mil lions, or over five times more than all her other mineral products added to gether. Iler resources arc truly won derful. Then, too, coal is found in Germany, France, Asia, Africa, China, .lapau, Russia, and even up in Siberia ; as if 1 rovidentially provided for all nations of the earth. No trade, commerce, or civilization, can now exist without this great fuel, which has been provided, not only for a limited time, but for all the ages of the world. There is more sense than poetry in the remark of somebody's wife, who said she was glnd the family was not rich, ' for then we wouldn't hnvo half the fun we now have in paying our bills and trying 1 to nave a dollar for a rainy day. —At a school in the north of Eng. land, not long ago, u class was recit ing in natural history. Said the teacher: "Can any boy name to 1110 an animal of the order of Kdentata that is, a front toothless animal?" A boy, whose free beamed with pleas ure at the prospect of a good mark, re plied: "I can." "Well, what is.the animal ?" "My grandmother!" replied the boy in great glee. —An old lady who had purchased a new bonnet received it on Saturday.-- Not long after she was missed, niid iier absence was so protracted that the family became concerned about her anil instituted a search After lookiug the premises all over, her daughter found her in the chamber, sittiugquiet ly with the new bonnet on. The daughter exclaimed:—"Why, mother, what are you doing here ?"~"Go along down," the old lady replied ; "I'm only getting used to This thing, so that. I shall not bo thinking about it nil the time in church to-morrow. A son of toil from one of the woodsy counties entered a village jewelry store a few days ago, after a walk ofseven miles, and said to the proprietor : "Me an' the old woman have been disputing for tho Inst three months about eight-day clocks, and now I've dropped in to let you settle the mat ter." "Well?" "The old woman says that an eight flay clock is a clock which runs eight days if you forget to wind it up every night, wbila I say it's a clock which takes you eight days to wind it up " "Your old woman is right." "Is she?" "She is; she's got the best of you ill the case." "Waal, I'll l>« shot! 1 >itt she needn't do any crowing over it! I'vo just heard that her brother WIIS dead, and being that she's ahead on the clock, I'll keep the news to myself, to got even with her." To Physicians. We do not Hntl fault, reproach or condemn the practice of any regular physician this W not our nihwion but we do Hai'm if he were to add Peru nil to his prescriptions a- directed in hook on the "1 lis of Life" (furnished gratui tously by iili dr«l£ttists), he would eure nil his patients. '•OSWKC.O, l'otter County, Pa , IT. HAIUNAN J>ntr Sir: The smnll uloer* are all healed, and the two larne ones are not more than half so larye as they were. 1 am t'« eliiiir quite well. Ihe people *ay your Peru mi and Manalin are doing a mira< le. Ido uot take nearly so mtieh opluin as t did Iwlore. MItS. KI.LKN MAYNMID." NO. -25