kIBMi'BIPTIOSI BATES : Per year, in advance #1 50 Otherwise 2 00 No aabecription will be discontinued until ill arrearage* are paid. Postmasters ueglectiug to notify on when subscribers do not taie on: their pa pen will be held liable for the subecripucn. Subscriber* removing from one pott office to another should gi re us the name of the former ta well an the present office. All communications intended for publication n thin paper moat be accompanied by the real name of the writer, cot for publication but aa a gnat an tee of good faith. Marriage and death notices must be accompa nied by a responsible name. Aidroas THE BUTMR CITIZKSI, BCTLEB. PA. PHYSICIANS. JOHN E BYERS, PHYSICIAN AND SURG EON, m>2l-ly] BUTLER. PA. Office on Jefferson street, opposite Klingler's Flour Store. DENTISTS. DENTISTR Y . 0 1# WALDRON. Or dnaie ol the Phll ■ adelpl-ia Dental Cotlejre.U prepare ■ l< no do any thine in the lice of h'i profes-ion in a satisfactory manner Office on Main street. Butler, Union B'.ook, upetiir*. *T>ll FARMErfS TAKE NO I ICE !! Look to Your Own Interest. T1 c Celebrated Clydesdale Stallion FL3ASANT LADDIE, Wiii at an 1 for serried the ensuing searon. r >m m«-ncing April 11th and ending Augort 14tli, ltytl. at the follovrmg plac««. viz : BUTLEB. At the etable of Walter A P'xm, in the bor onub of Batler. on Apnl 11th. 12th. 13th. '4th. 15th. 16th 25th, 26th. itftli. 2tth. 2»th and Mnh. May 9th, 10th. tlth. 12th. 13th, 14th, 23rd 24th. 25 Kfi'endid Stallion was im potted by Lawall A li-ios. tnd ha* beeu pro nonrice>l by the most competent furlgea to he the hent Draught Horse in ttie State- He is a dark bay. nine rears obi: without bie.uirL. and muscle cannot be excelled II'; was got by Clyde who gainel many pre miums, including the Sterling pretrium : when one and two years old be gained the piemium of the Codder Kaimers' Hhow. A" He is nearly connected with the great Mir Walter Bco t. who la well known and alio obtained the Glasgow premium of two years til sac eseion ; he also won the first pi /A- at the Royal Hnow held y fJa(tjjr ov a. Luudou. Mia Dam was a pure t/lroesifalr) Mare who won many first prizes at Kiikintullnck Show. He is known to b>- the best foal getter in tins part of the State TEBVf): Fifteen Dollar* for insurance, to be paid when th" mare ia known to be with foal. Irregnlar attendance, or persona parting aith a mate lie fore she ia kuowii to l>e vritli foa! for feits the iiiaurance. f.'aie will be taken but uo acconntaMlity for accidents BOOH, LAWALL A CO . mar3o:3ro ownera. Coughs, Colds, Sure Throat. Bronch'tit, Contention and All DUeasei #f THROAT and LUNGS Put up lii Quart-size Itoitle* for family U«e. Rciciif ineally pr"j»ared of Hal am Tolu, Crjstal -11/H Hlea->ant to take ; if weak or debilitated, It gives ((me, aUlyily and ->rricifiU to tty- v.h»:r.iVKi» I %)J\ I I" * \ •)>)' nnj>rlnel[fllei|(|eal- \ { t-r* who try to palm oft uj>oii )oo K>h-k & Uye | I 111 place of our Tol.l 10 *K AXI> KYK, wklcjl I ' I* the only mcU Htrwt,<'hlea(fo. fW Ask yotir Druggist for It 1 I tr Ask your Orocer for It t {tr Ask your Wine Merchant for it! |4r~ Children. a»k your Mamma for it! l-tr- Soldby imtWJISTS.OROCKItHauI WINK Mr.lM'll WfH everywhere. anil by I,A WHENCE A MAIM IX. No fl llarelav St., Net* York. WHITE OAK SPRINGS NORMAL SCHOOL. The White Oak Hprifitcw Vormal School will open August x, nnd continue six week*. Tie design of the Normal in to prepare teacher* for thorough work in the M-hovl room. Tuition, SI.OO. For particular* uddrc*s the principal It. C. IK)DW, A. It jfMIW "I- litter fwi./Fa. Summer Normal Term. The Summer Kormal Term of the Wither «poon Institute, llutler, Pi., conducted by Pro fessor* I'. H. Hancroft and J. C, Tinstman, will open on Monday, June 20, \HHI, continuing *t* weeks and eloiring July 30. Tuition IH.-V). A thorough course of iuntruction will lie t/iveti in all hranche* U) {lie h^li.h.W NOTICE TO FABME«S. I.i.rife iium'M-r of Kami* for onteor exchange nt low pric<-a and on em-y pnyim-nt*. Be crsil rmalt farm* trom Vi to 60 acre* wnnte I AUo, loan# llirnl*h* d t(J lurui'.-r* liayitig lmcioved l«rcu» otl Idnif (line ai d rven that an application for a charter will lie made Ui Hon. Jit men Bred) 11, Law Judge, of th« Court* of llutler countr, at Chamhcra on the 2-Hh day of June, ISHI, incorjHiratinif the New Hop«r I'ritoliyleriati < hnrch In New H#|* «aH county. The n'-jei I,* iali| -I O'-riiorati'in U reli^iou* and the oh|wt tl ereof the piotiioiiuu of rebuion ia the world, T. J. StfAJtHON, ) J. I>. HTi:i'HKJfso*, i TruHteea. K. A. IIAKTLKY. J June «, '81,3t. Admliil«ilraf»r*M Police. J ettern '>t "dii)iiiiatrktt!ili I|%M'IK W'«l> ttrmilisl luthu iorj on lh« «•(»!« of Win fiiml'le nwiwd. lat« of Mid-il aeut lh"iu ! uly •uthtiiiticale'l for payment. HO BERT THIMBLE, June I-fit Adm'r, ttaxouhurg. ()., |'». Union Woolen .Mill, UU . I.Eli, PA ii. rui.LKHroK, rrop'r. Manutactuier ol lii.A<»Kar», lfi.A*M«L*, Vakki, A'-. Al-o cU«lom work done to order, auch a» C.inllng lloll", Injklli; Utankcto, El:intieln Knll tiug and Weaving Yarna, A"., .it very low price* Wool worked on the aiiarea, II de wired uv7.|y A ( 1 IJ\i I'C.Wli WAM >kw A' • f'rtniK ."vhi-ki Mwkk.l'KH. Voii can make from » i<« ln«', iii |x-r<|ay llie year round. Oood prollt* and rajiltl »ale», Ca|iiUU not liecemary It you call furilUh H<«>|| retcreiice*. Addreaa at once I'AOK < ARI'KT SW».H'KII < o. I oleilo, O. wan TEDiiirtsiisr ju'juircoi ileury (i. Jiule, coruvr ol i'euu mi«l Hixtb Mftok, I'iltaburgli. , Mmy'/r, VOL. XVIII. S^IEIt FOB RHEUMATISM, Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago, Backache, Soreness of the Chest, Gout, Quinsy, Sore Throat, Swellings and Sprains, Burns and Scald:, General Bodily Pains, Tooth, Ear and Headache, frosted Feet and Ears, and all othor Pains and Aches. No Preparation >.n earth < viil- Pi JA c< ih On. ai M -f ~ urr. nimi.li and r/irr/p Externi.! Remedy. \ tr:al r-ntails but !i:o < i&i iju«t del- W*ato Invn! >l. I'pfiti ono trUl lb« locrtti of tl.i» Corn pouud will be re* W.z !, a/relit? I*4 lraj»<-fJlot'. ; an'] when It* twt I*ln nlmtj-nlno ca« *in a hua dro«l, ap nwh' tcur* UcJf Vmrxrvui will fr:» tify. On a' /ant of It* \ mfrrit*, it l« txlay r» romarKm'!M «u»«l pw; n » 1 l,jr tbo tewt pb/ekiaaa in (biwautry. It will cc-o t'»r» *■'>::* form rf filling rf ttf titerm, L urorrflC* ir.-*|p.L.r anT'jriA to \v>. th« fTfut *nd. It itHnuLAlft ym»itu>u ot nytV m, cii-1 Kite* Wfor. It rtnit' -n A ,Z&t 'sncy,4i& Btroyx«»:! rrzr'.ng for a*i 1 rciicrc« w uLnem tit tbii r.twAZs U It euroi VA'aUuk, I! tulm/Vj"', rtrvoun I'rofitration, (kintrul him \>i> ft. 'I luC\ JMntl k u h#-, In tHr.r. ja ir. rrr Hiu-nt\y cnnA ! 7 lt« u»o. It w;ilr.t *3l tirwn, n t if on rtal,»l ♦»f |»rtCf, irt* 1/*titrt»«.rt*Jll«tt^ mot Iruiutry. HenU tor p*tu ptlvi. A-!f!r«3 *« mla/to Jfgrrffon thU jmper, Xo fun.../itliot.n bo without IVIHA K TV XTUM' hl\ ZZ\ lILUI iktuiToryUllly ottlwjjvtr. 'J*fuUn r Lot GKO. A. KELLY &. CO. Qensral Age-t& Pittsburgh Pa. Sold by I). 11. Wullor, - Butler Pa. If von feel dull, drow*v, delulltitlvd, have fre <|uctit heaitaehaa, m M utli m»|ea haoly, |wior it|>i*'- Hit- and tilfiKili- coated, yi-u are xuttciiiiK Irom lor [iwt liver, nr "itllt|nu*lieiw," and nothing will eure von *n «|i«i !ltlv mid permanently u* to take Him- Kl| li^J. ATOn nit MkIIK'IMK. Wi" iwiwei. « k OM- I'I.AIM.H rtKnTLEHH- it 1 f M M.H .1A t Mill V. and 3» XAI'HKA. iiA'tl wuarHi WouiiitK it to unplcAiaut. nothing mi common a* had Uprftth, ai d In nearly every caae It comch ft-om fne »lom;u li. and can he ho canity corrected if you will take Hliiinuni*' l.iver ICeuulalor. tw> nut neglect no *ure a rclucdy for ihln puiutaivv dlnor der. It wilt at*o Improve jmp- \|,|.cfitn,l and Ottyeriy] U''an It- t'tLKS t Ifow many anffer torture day after day, inakinu life a hupliii and rohluiiK existence of all |> e mure owing to the "tecrcl *utTerlng froln I'lle*. Vet re lict i- ready to the hand of almotl any one who will u»e systematically the remedy that hiui pt>'i lii;iucntly cur< d tlioiisai di. t-lVKti liKuigc ; Ii ahi 111 tli»* Mr<'(inij»;iii.< fl vvjfli liniiMMi, and lhl« U popularly known it* Hick Ifcfulriclii*. MAM Y\* ll Ixrtt oni,v HY J, 11. K1.11.1\ A €"<»., i'iiti.Ar»v.U'»OA, ►'a. S a i' ; l/I »' ,M ' ,iV Al,f ' YOUNG CLYDESDALE, Prince ol' Scotland, Can he -cetl nt the *ti|li'e ol the sulisi rllH-r, nenr Leiis'irevdle. Wlnlteld township, liuller Co., I'a , the tli»t three da)* ol eneh week,and Tiitlt>dny* ■ill I Krld.iv* nt the slahle ul Joseph Klicfc; (q Coylesvtlle. tfttlNCti Of SCOTLAND Is ii larjiu'ltul W ip;»le liny, rlrlm: »l* jc i'n old, with luiiin iisc t 'lise and inu-cle, *upeilor 'Ctlon, and a perfect l«Hit, win n-tn mist 10-.ivj ho ses luck, and lor disposition Is unexcelled ; stands tttJ-J hand» high, weliths over 1,800 poends, and w <* tired (torn one ol tl.e Unci draught horses In Scotland. Farther truce ol pedigree I- an ncces«nrj, a* lil» appearance will recomou Dd him to competent Judue*. UuOk.HI I ZO.U'rtfm Owner. J/fIS. Tli OMPE rs TEL ESC OPE M rs. Wainwaring Trumpet was a u idow—fat, fair and fifty Had you tansaeked the English language for a word to describe ber you could have found one only that would do her jus tice. Mrs. Main waring Trumpet was prodigious. She was prodigiously rich, prodigiously stout, prodigiously active, prodigiously versatile, prodigi ously talkative and most prodigiously self-important. She was good humor ed, too—stout people always are ; the adipose substance produces that quali ty itself. We may be sure there is more good nature lying potentially in a tub of Dorset butter than the most vigorous disciple of philosophy could evolve bv the efforts of his righteous will in a twelve-month. Mrs. Main waring Trumpet was therefore good : humored of necessity ; she was far too fat to be anything else. And this noisy, ; buttery good humor of hers so lubrica- I ted her failings that she was tolerable and even agreeable in society. It is true she did bustle about and put you j i down or thrust you out of sight, but , her voice was so rich and her smile «o , I sunny, and she was on such unmistak- I able good terms with herself that you forgave her. That is, if you were not of ber particular sex you forgave her. But if you were or are of her particu lar sex you never did and never do for give a drawing room snub. Is it not so, gentle reader ? Mrs. Mainwarinp Trumpet went in for 'the world.' She loml races, and would l>et gloves and eat lobHter salada and drink champagne. .She was crazy about balls, and would dance until, for her size and weight, she was as great a wonder as the sun on Easter I)ay. She frequented the opera and could hum you all the new tunes next day, getting a little out now and then, but still you knew what she meant. If any questionable play was on the stage Mrs. Main waring Trumpet would be in a side box, giggling and blushing and exploding behind her fan in such a very honest and absurd way that she half ruined the piece for the people who wish to enjoy their vice seriously 'ike rational creatures 'Have you read it?' she would ask when any fa.-hiohable lady novelist came out with something more shocking than usual. 'Have you read it? Because I have!' in one of her s age whispers that you could hear across a hay field. And she would drop behind her fan, allowing her great rolling eyes to appear that she might telegraph at you, and hiding the rest of her face, while her big jolly laughter Rounded like a river underground. She was the best hand at croquet in three counties. She took up lawn tennis and played so splendidiv that one day in the Binhop's garden she sent her win ning stroke right fnto the study win dow, covering the prelate with frajr ments like a working glazier and s< confounding him that for a few seconds he really thought that the end of the world had come. She applied herseif to rinking with the usual enthusiasm and got the thing up in two hours, af ter which she went round and round at an awful puce, like « seventy-lour gun ship in a high wind, until she came into collision 'With tall Mr. Index who hod just come out as senior wran gler and was trying if a little exercise with his legs would not be nice for a change and useful for put poses o» health. Him she drove to earth with a velocity which by itself was the hint of a problem, and upon his prostraU frame her own descended with a crash so terrific that, amid the ruin of his faculties, Index could scarcely colled reason to register a solemn vow that ii his life were only spared he would re ucunce all athletic sports for evermore. Thus did r«». Main waring Trumpet move through life's various scenes lik< a catapult, u battering ram, an eighty one ton gun, a thunderbolt, or any thing that is the embodiment of all conquering force. She was, we sijid, a widow. Fifteen years ago she had been Mi** Main war ing, with plenty of good blood i:t her veliitt, but no money in her purse. Ben jaruin Thursby Trumpet, Ksq., a Bris tol merchant sprung from the gutter, and worth a heap of money, 'came'and 'saw' Miss Mainwarinp, and was 'con quered.' lie proposed for her ; she ac cepted his money. In three weeks' time she ww# \lr*. Mairiwaring Trum pet- "be liecame rich, and rare were the gents she wore ; but oh ! that vul gar husband ! With all her eccentrici ties she was a lady; and oh ! that hus liajid! Mrs. Mainwarinjf Trumpet learned this lesson that others learnt before her—that you cannot sell your self and have yourself at the same time. Well, she fetched a handsome price, and, to do her justice, she did not grumble much Benjamin Tburaby Trumpet—like Mr. Bounderby in "Hard Tlmea"— loved to tillk uf ii 1 h origin, and how ho rokt! from nothing, leaving the audience to infer what a clever, hard-headed fel low be wuMt lie. Hut he grew too fond of this practice, and one day when he had been riding bin hobby rather hard, a watf, upon bin leaving the room, caught up hi* visiting card, and readiug his iuiLiuln aloud—'ll. T. Truin f ailed him on the apot Mr. Blow the Trqniliet. The name stuegaii to ex plore anew. Another long alienee fol lowed ; and then Mis. Mainwaring Trumpet, nover taking her eye from the glas*, called out in a grave vole®, t like uu astronomer who discovers a comet, but who having expected it, is not amazed, only gravely elated. 'Adams, be isat hisdinner.' 'LaWs, ma'am !' Adams said, because that committed her to nothing. 'At his soup, Adams,'she continued, fixed in her posture. I see the -ladle quite plainly ' 'Laws, ma'am, how clever!' Adam said, feeling the ground better us;der her feet. Hereupon, for many minutes nothing was said. 'Adams,' Mrs Mainwariug Trumpet said at last, 'he has had three helps of soup.' Adams scarcely knew how she was to take this. 'You see, ma'am,' she said diffident ly, 'he is a very thin gentleman.' 'I don't see what that has got to do with it, AdamS,' the mistress said, re turning to the telescope. 'Here comes the fish.' Another long pause ensued, at the end of which Mrs. Mainwaring Trum pet turned round upon her maid. 'Twice, Adams. I could not be sure, but I think it must be cod. Well, three and two make five.' 'So they do, ma'am,' Adams said, wisely giving a free assent where the fact was indubitable and the safety of a coincidence of opinion tolerably cer tain. 'Shoulder of mutton!'called out Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet in due course; 'and I suppose that's onion sauce. What a pity one can't smell with a tel escope, and one would be sure!' 'You can't smell with it, I suppose ma'am V Adams said humbly, like a true disciple of science# 'No, you can't smell with it, Adams,' the mistress answered. 'Bless me,' sh>- added, before this piece ot informa tion was well off her lips, 'two glasses of sherry, one after another, without breath between. I don't quite like the look of that, Adams.' 'He is such a very thin gentleman,' pleaded Adams, who knew well that she might take up the defense without vexing her mistress. 'I suppose they do take more build ing up, Adams,' the mistress remarked still gazing. 'l'm sure they do, ma'am,' Adams replied fervently. 'There's mv father, ma'am, thin as that pii|»er knife, ma'ain, and the quantity of beer he takes to keep himself up you wouldn't believe. It is quite ruin, ma'am, that it is. I'm sure, ma'am, nothing Mr. Arrowsmith does can be wrong, ma'am, after them sermons.' 'Quite right, Adams,' replitd tLe mistress. 'Order the brewer to leave a nine gallon cask at your father's house to-morrow.' 'Thank you, ma'am,' Adams answer ed. 'But as 1 was a-sayin', what a dear good man that Mr. Arrowsmitb is 'He is just cutting into his cheese!' called out Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet. 'The very cheese I sent bim on Tues day !' Thus things went on until the rec tor's dinner was over, when Mrs. Main waring Trumpet rose to her feet and said: 'I know everything. Soup three times and fish twice; shoulder of mut ton three times at least, and 1 am not sure about a fourth, for I breathed on the glass and bad to clean it. Sweets twice, for certain ; cheese, dessert, and six glasses of wine in all, I think. Ad ams, I do think ' 'They required it, ma'ain,' Adams suid firmly ; 'it's the call of nature, that's what it is.' 'Well, I suppose so,' the mistress said, reasoning with herself as her maid prepared to go down stairs. 'You see my size and how little I eat.' Must so, ma'am,' Adams said 'The doctor savs, continued Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet, luughiug, 'that I live on my fat.' 'That's just it, ma'am,' Adams said, leaving tin; room ; only when tho door was closed behind her she added : 'Three eggs and bacon to breakfast this morning, and cold trout with mar malade to follow. That's living on your fat, I suppose. Well, it's easy knowing what your fat lives on.' Under the most fifvorable circum stances Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet never Could keep a secret long, and now, in her elation at her own brillian cy, she told several friends of the con trivance by which she was enabled to wat'li her beloved one at itll hours. Of course people laughed and thought the whole thing a capital jofce ; that she did not mind the least. Lot mat ters grew serious when thoroetor heard that his whole parish was laughing at him on account of Mrs. Trumpet's tel escope. He had never heard of tho telescope before. The observing reader will have re marked in his journey through human life that just in proportion as men are ludicrous, in that degree do they hate the idea of becwmilig so. To smile like 1 Falstaff, Is'cause we are the cause of ' wit in others, is given only to the im mortals in waggery ; your average man hates of all things to bo laughed at Now, when Arrowsmitb. the grim, the solemn, the lank, discovered that he WHS the laughing stock of his congre gation, he came to a determination that he would break off his engagement with Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet. Bui how accomplish that? lie could not i openly allege the telescope as a cause Fancy an impassioned counsel harangu ing a jury against, a reverend defendant who broke off his engagement because a woman who loved linn better than lile had looked at him through a telc | scope ! That would never d«f. The matter must be accomplished by craft, and Mr. Arrowsmith set himself to think how it could be done. At. tliis time there came to settle in his parish a maiden lady o! enormous wealth that is, for every thousand pounds Mrs. Main waring Trumpet pos sessed Miss Quick possessed three. Miss Quick was fifty-four; probably she had been pretty in a lackadaisicaf sort of way thirty years ago But since then Time and Miss Quick had had several interviews. She looked now rather like an old wax doll which had fallen on its cheek in the toy shop win dow on a hot day and put the feature out of shape Traces of bloom were on her lace still, but the two cheeks did 4 not mutch in size, which wus u littles awkard. Ah ! yes ; but while certain of M iss (Quick's charms had faded oth ers had burst into bloom. Her papa, who was something iu Bermondsev, and used always to have a leathery kind of suiell, died and left Miss Quick £150,000. How many faded charms will that sum renew! Bethink you, how many dimples, ringlets, pearly sets of teeth, carnation lips, fairy feet, peachskin cheeks, ivory fingers and taper waists are equal for bewitchment to i! 150,000 ? Ah ! pretty dears, who boast yourselves in mere lieauty of na ture, remember to us males a day comes when we begin to sec that we cannot dine of an eyebrow, however fine its arch, nor sip the sparkle of an eye, nor pay rent and takes with a breath, perfumed though it be like gar dens of Araby the blest. In a word, dears, we grow stout, practical ; we come, as that sad little song of Th ck eray's says, 'to forty year.' And as for Mr. Arrowsmith be had come to fortv year, and to fifty year ; indeed, he had come to fifty-five year. Let an Iliad of lovemaking be written on a finger-nail of paper. Miss (Juiek made open love to Mr. Arrowsmith, though never a word she sp"ke ; Mr. Arrowsmith re plied that if the thing could be arrang eJ he was ready, though never a word he spoke. And now for Mrs. Trumpet and her telescope. Six days later Mr. Arrowsmith drove past Mrs. Mainwariug Trumpet, and in his carriage was seated a young and pretty girl. No sootier did Mr. Arrow smith sec his engaged wife than he drew back in the carriage with all signs of confusion and tried to hide himself. 'O-bo !' thought Mrs Trumpet, color ing up till she was as red as a soldier's coat. That was Saturday. At Sun day school next morning Mrs. Main wariug Trumpet severely, suddenly and with evident distrust in her voice, asked Mr. Arrowsmith who that young lady was with whom he drove out yes terday afternoon. The clergyman was so palpably confused and made such fearful blunderings in his reply, and he so obstinately declined to tell who the girl was, ti at Mrs. Mainwariug Trum pet closed the interview by glaring at him like a drngon. Indeed, had the dragon ever glared at St. George so, in all probability the champion would have tumbled off his horse before the fight bejfan, and we should never have had any legend at all. Mrs. Mainwar iug Trumpet came home after church as sulky as a I bunder cloud. 'Adams,' she said, in an appalling voice, 'I have been deceived !' 'Lawk, ma'am !' said. 'Yes, deceived, Adams,' the mistress went on. 'He has been flirting with a woman—a minx—a hussv not twenty!' 'Lawks, ma'am,' said Adams, 'to think of it! And him such a thin gen tleman !' 'I don't sec what that hus got to do with it, Adams ! remarked her mistress.* 'Hut,' said Mrs. Trumpet, pacing her room like Lady Macbeth, 'I shall—l shall—l shall—' 'I would, ma'am,' Adams said, 'if I was you.' 'You don't know what I was going to say, Adams,' the mistress rejoined. Next morning at twelve o'clock Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet sat down to her telescope as usual ; only the eye that gazed through it burned so that it might have melted the glass. In u mo ment she sank back with a scream. 'Adams!' she cried, 'she's there !' 'Who ma'ain V asked Adams. 'The minx!' screamed Mrs. Main waring Trumpet. 'Lawk, ma'am I' said Adams. Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet applied herself to the telescope for a few min utes and then burst into another scream. 'lie's kneeling before her, Adams !' 'Well, I never!' Adams ejaculated ; but her excited mistress heard her not. 'Adams! screamed Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet, in agonized tones, 'he has got his arm around her neck ! 0, Adams, Adams,' cried HIIC, drawing back from the instrument, 'I aiu going to faint I Hold me up, Adams !' 'Couldn't you see it out first ma'am,' suggested Adams, 'and faint then, j ma'am, when all is over? 'I will, Adams,' the mistress cried, ' resolutely , and she began to gaze again. Alas! new disclosures awaiting her. 1 'Adams, are 'you there—are you there V she screamed out. 'He is kiss ing her !' 'My gracious I' Adams exclaimed.! 'Well, there's no being up to the men !' , 'Once, Adams !' the infuriated lady j continued; 'twice three times! Again, i again! That's five, isn't it'( Another! Six kisses, Adams and the last such a long one !' 'Long or short is much the same, ma'am,' Adams ventured the remark. 'lt is not the same!' cried Mrs. Main waling Trumpet. 'lt makes a gread deal of difference ; but of course you know nothing about it.' 'No, ma'am,' Adams said; I haye been mercifully preserved.' Adams was thirty-live, brisk and good lo iking, and had just quarreled with her eighth beau. More like Lady Macls«th than ever, Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet stood up and said, in tones that made even the favorite Adams shake in her shoes, 'The carriage !' 'The rectory ! f she called i ut, iu the same thrilling tone, to her coachman, as she stepped into the vehicle. 'I must see Mr Arrowsmith,' she said to the servant at the rectory. She never ask<'d was he out or in. 'I must see himand she strode with avenging steps across the hall into a small morning room. 'Say that Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet wishes lo see him instantly, instantly ! do you hear? she said to the servant. 'Yes ma'am,' the man answered. 'ln a taking she is!' he remarked, as he went to deliver the message. The infuriated Mrs, Mainwaring Trumpet might hive heard two or three gasp-like inhalations before the door opened She might have seen the faintest, remnant ot a grin on the rector's lean face ns In? entered the room. Hut she saw no smile, heard no sound of laughter ; she was riding on the whirlwind of her rage and alive to nothing but the chastisement she mint inflict. 'Arthur Arrowsmith,' she began, 'you uro found out. Walls have ears and windows have eyes. Oh, you per jured man!' 'They may have,' retorted the rector, who seemed wonderfully well prepared I lor the attack ; 'but even if that be so, I however curious and interesting the [ fact may be considered in the light of an unexpected and rather inexplicable phenomenon, still I don't see what it | Las to say to my being a tortured man.' 'You were seen in this room,' the lady went on : 'seen when the clock was pointing to twenty-eight minutes past eleven. What was going to hap pen just then, Arthur Arrowsmith ?' 'I should say the clock was coin? to strike the half-hour,' the rector answer ed, with perfect composure 'O, you wicked and most shameless man !'cried Mrs. Mainwaring Trump et. 'I could not have believed it only I saw it with my own eyts.' 'Aided by Dollond's telescope' re marked the rector. 'Yes, aided by Dollond's telescope !' his accuser answered. She did not care that the fact was discovered. 'And let us be thankful for any instrument that finds out the baseness of men. Carrying on with that chit of a girl ! I declare I could not have believed it!' 'Why should I not carry on, as you call it, with t'uat girl, if I please V de manded the clergyman, not the least moved by her vehemence. 'Hear him speak!' she screamed, in voking some invisible power. 'Oh Ar thur Arrowsmith, to behave so with that while tie round your neck!' 'The only thing to be said about the tie round my oeck is that there is not quite starch enough in it,'replied the recor. 'That, I take it, is the laun dress' fault, uot mine.' 'And your gray head 1' continued Mrs Mainwariug Trumpet, sweeping forward in her invective, regardless of this flippant interruption. 'Now, as to my head,'the clergyman said, for the first time with a little warmth, 'there is not a gray hair on it.' 'Well, with your bald head then !' cried the frenzied Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet. 'With your bald head, to behave so, it's appalling!' 'lf 1 were to behave so without my bald head it certainly would be appal ling,' retorted the rector. 'Surely, Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet, you don't* mean to say that if I were decapitated my conduct would have been more becom ing?' This sardonic mood he maintained through the interview, but no such toy ish opposition could stem the rush of Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet's wrath. 'You knelt before her !' 'Yes ; her shoestrings had come un done.' 'You put your arms about her neck !' 'She asked me to fasten her neck-rib bon. liy the way,' the rector added, 'what do they call these ribbons that stream down their backs? A name is jest. Follow me-Iflds ! That's it. She asked ine to fasten her follow-me-lads.' 'Her follow-me-lads!' repeated Mrs Mainwaring Trumpet, in a voice that sank into the deepest bass with indig nation. 'Well, if the earth were to open and swallow me up But,' she cried, darting back to the main truck of her impeachment, 'I saw more than that; you kissed her.' 'As to kissing,' the imperturbable rector replied, 'that might be the kiss of peace.' 'Kiss of peace, indeed !' echoed the pcornful dame. 'A likely story ! The kiss of peace was not given half a doz en at a time And if the first was a kiss of peace, will you tell mo what were the other fiver' 'I shall answer no questions,' replied the rector, seeming to Income very grand and dignified all of a sudden. 'Oh, then you don't even repent!' Mrs. Trumpet went on. And now her last bit of patience vanished. 'You glory in it! Arthur Arrowsniith,' she cried, in a voice which rang through the room. 'I renounce; I cast you off. I would rather marry your coachman than you. We are strangers from this moment and forever, and 1 only wish that there were witnesses to hear me say the words!' 'Witnesses are here,' the rector said, breaking into A "mile, and throwing open the folding doors us he spoke. •You were not likely to miss much of Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet's interest ing conversation, were you ?' he added, addressing himself to the adjoining room. Here two ladies sat at luncheon. One was the pretty rival, the other Miss Quick, iloth ladies seemed try ing to suppress their laughter, only the younger one was a little rosy red amid her amusement. •Miss Quick you know,'said the rec tor, now quite calm. 'This is my dead brother's only child, my adopted daugh ter ;a dear, good girland he stroked her cheek with a wurmpth that was pleasant to see, while she grew rosier red than before. Mr*. Mainwaring Trumpet, for once in her life, lont her power of sj»eech She stood and gated, but words would not come 'Here,'Hilid the reetor, drawing bin nclce's neck ribbon through bisfltrgers, 'herd is her follow-ine-lads. I tied it smartly, did I not V 'I biive made a iniHtftke,'gasped poor Mr*. Mainwaring Trumjiet at last. 'I have made a mistake ; I apologise, I withdraw my word*. Wo nball Ihi aH we have been. 1 mean,' HII« added,, hanging her bead a little, 'an we have been thin past two months.' 'No, thank you,' the rector said; 'you have renounced mo and cant me off. If you please we Khali be as we have been the past two minutes!' 'What ! Do you mean that ' Mrn Mainwaring Trumpet could not finish the sentence •I mean,' the rector waid, drawing biniMclf up and buttoning bin coat tightly round hi* thin frame, 'that, any lady who tiikcM telcHcopic view* of my private life HIHIII for the remainder of her existence be kept at a telescopic diHtancM from me. From henceforth, Mr* Mainwaring Trumpet, dintance nhall lend enchantment to any view of me and my concerns that you may take, and from what I have neen I am inclined to think that any enchantment which I may derive from the in*|>ec. I tion of yourself will bo iu a great mufti- ADVERTISING! HATES, One square, one insertion, fl ; each snbse quent insertion, 50 cents. Yeirly advertisement exceeding one-fourtli of a column, #5 per inch Figure work double these ratet; additions chargea whero weekly or monthly changes are made. Local advertisements 10 cents per line for tii>t insertion, and 5 cents i»cr line for each additional insertion. Marriages and deaths pub lished free of rliaige. OLituxrj notices charged as advertisements, and payable nlwn handed in Auditors' Notices. ; Executors' and Adminis trators' Notices. fS each; Estray, Caution ano dissolution Notices, not exceeding ten lines, each. From the fact that the CITIZEN is the oldc-s' established and most extensively circulated Re publican newspaper in Butler county, (a Repub lican county) it must be apparent to business men that it is the medium they should use in advertising their business. NO. 32 , ure owing to the interposition of the | same agreeable medium.' Light broke on Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet at l ist 'I have been ensnared,' sire cried more furiously than ever; '1 have beeu deceived!' 'You have, by your own telescope,' the clergyman answered. 'Take my advice, and keep that valuable instru ment for the observation of the heaven ly bodies and let other bodies alone ' 'Well.' Mrs Mainwaring Trumpet re torted, with a creditable rally of her spirits, just as she marched out, 'all I f\in say of my telescope is this, I have not tried it on my heavenly body vet. Good morning to you !' and with some what of a recovery of majesty she swept from the room. 'Adams,' she said whan she reached her own chamber, 'it's all over. We are strangers now. Our lives are part ed, Ada.ns, and will run in separate channels to the ocean., Adams uot quite equal to this high metaphorical flight. 'Broke off. is it, ma'am ?' she asked. 'Broke off,' her mistress said. 'Yes; broken, shattered.' 'Well, ma'am,' Adams said, 'there may be a blessin' in it. You see, ma'aiu, he was such a very thiu geutie man ' Miss Quick became Mrs. Arthur Ar rowsmith, and the blooming niece lived on at the rectory. The story of the telescope got abroad, and of course everybody laugh*d, until at last Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet very wisely re solved to laugh herself. Aud finally, to show that she feared the ridicule of no human tongue, the doughty dame l"iit the instrument to the local muSe um, and there it stauds, with a great ivory plate underneath, bearing this in scription in Roman capitals: MBS. TRUMPET'S TELESCOPE.' THE LIME-KILN CLIUI 'At midnight las' night,' said the old man in a solemn voice as be looked up and down the aisles; 'at midnight las' night de speerit of Brudder Charles Climax Gosh port, a local member of dis club, passed from y'arth to dc un known. Only a week ago he sat in dis hall; to-night he am dressed fur do grave. What acksbun will de club take'/' 'I s'pose, sah,' said the Rev. Pen stock as ho rose up, 'dat it am in order to present a resolushun to de effect dat be was a man of do highest integrity, lilteral hearted, minded, an' dat his loss am a sad blow to do hull city.' •Yes, such a resoltshun atu in order. Brudder Penstock, can you remember dat you eber took Brudder Go.ihport by de hand an' gin him a word of praise fur his hard work an' honest ways V '1 l—doan' remember dat I eber did, sah.' 'Am dar a pusson in dis hall who kin remember dat he eber put hissclf out to favor Brudder Goshport ?' Not a man answered 'Kin any one of you remember dat you took any pertickular iuteres' iu how bo got along!" Not a voice was heard in reply. 'To lie a little plainer,' contiuued tho President, 'ain dar one single pusson in dis hull who eber felt five cents' worth of anxiety for Brudder Gosh port's worldly or spiritual welfare?' The hall was so quiet that the sound of Klder Toots rubbing bis back on tho sharp edge of a window-casing gave everybody a start. 'Not a man iu dis hull city, so far as wo know, el>er put hisaelf out to do a favor'for or speak a word in praise of our lameoted brudder, an' yet we have the cheek tu.talk of a resolushun set tiu'tortb his many vartues an' heartfelt sorrow. No, sir! We doan'pass no sich bizness beah! I should be ashamed to look his widder in de faco if we did. It am ue way of de world to let men alone jist when a leetle help would give 'em a broad an' easy road. Wo li'ar of dis man or dat man havin' won de gratitude of de people, but we doan' h'ar or it untill ho am dead. When a man has gone from y'arth do papers an' de public suddenly diskivor how honest ho was; what a big heart be had; how much jjood he was alius i|oin' an' what loss to do world his death will prove. De time to praise a man is when lu l am livin' beside us. Praise hurts nobody, but many a good man has grown weary fur do want of appreciashun. Ileah am seventy-two of us in dis hall to night, an' we have to own up dat not one of us eber went outer our way to prove to our brudder dat his gentle ways, his squar' dealin' an' his upright life war' any mo' 'pre dated by us dan us if he had bin a hoss-thief! An' to pass a resolushun would be to brand ourselves hypocri ties. Lot no man dare offer one.'—De troit Fret'. J'raxH. (I'ittihurgh Catholic.) Tlielr NIIIKMUIMIIH Indornnd. A strong statement unqualifiedly in dorsed must induce confidence. Iu this connection we note the following front Dr Louis Bock it Hon,. Sheboy gan, Wis.: VVe have been handling St. Jacobs Oil and are pleased with the largo demand. Hardly a day goes by without hearing from some one or another of our patrons having used it with entire satisfaction, saying it is the I>ost thing they ever tried, and wo join them in so saying. Cuba's sugar crop is estimated this year at 000.000 tons, which will bo tho largest ever raised on the island. Mrs. Charles Diloy Pittsbugh, says, she hud Chronic Catarrh badly. Peru* na cured her perfectly. There is a chicken In West Chester which scratches gravel with twelvo toes. Crystalene Is just the thing for brick houses, tie paint being perfectly wa terproof; No moisture can penetrate. Grant thinks the removal of his bi ographer from the Consul Generalship at London Adam Badeau-men for Gar- Ueld's administration. Mrs. F. Simmering, Millersville, Pa., had Ozena and Chronic Catarrh. Pe runa cured her entirely. Monograms on porous plasters for young ministers are worked in cool pink or blue for summer season.