HJBMi'BIPTIOSt MATES s Per JMT, in «d*»uoo I' "® Otherwise ' 00 No aahecriptinn will be discontinued until >1 MTFerage* ere |>nJ. Foftueoteni neglecting to notify IU when nabacnbcro do not tt)U oat tL*ii p»pera will be held liable for the eabeenptk-n. Babechbetß removing from one poetoflice to Another ehoukl give an tiie name of the former ee well M the preeent office. All communication* intended for publication n this paper moot be accompanied by the real name of the writer, not for publication bat ac a gnat ante* of good faith. Marriage and death notiOM moat be Meompa aied by a responsible name Addrena TBI BOTt-ta CITIZIIB. BCTLER. PA. Liol ol TrßTfiw Jwrorw drawn lor » spcftNt Terot or Conn, ci»muipurill| Snd Hon* dm of April, llih Uiiy. Jacob Adder, Wlnfifld township. I) M And'Tsou, Knuittllti. Mtclurl Augert. Clearfleld. Andirw Hart, CwatHTry. Jaiue-i Brown, *l«*or. Botwrt Bov:»hl, esq. \ enango. John Boo*. Jr. Worth. 8 VT "iailger. Wortl;. 0 H ("nichlow. Forward. John DJey, Kainrlew. Patrick Donahue, Clearfielc. A Dickey, Worth. W V Kakin. C'oiuioqueneasing. T S Fletcher. Barker. William C Hemliiß. Buffalo. Hir.uu M i»ervrock. jo11 II tiromaii. Butler borough. Aite A limiid, Oakland township. ( ai>t lolin He»*"lge*Her. Win field. Ahram Heushew. Mlllerslowu bor. p J kclley, Buffalo township. K <» K.iiie. Zelieuoplc bor. Samuel Kerr, Harrbville. ,J C Murllanil, Brady t/iwmhlp. J C Moore. Centre. Austin M'flyioon'l*, Moddycreek. John r Met aod!e-».' 'lay. .1 it MiHjutafcin. Butler i«>r. Veal Meßn-le. ( lt-arttel. I'airview twp. Wesiev K «<*nsitig. Butier bor. W W St. Clair. Worth twp. poster S -aton. Marion. Albert Siarr. I'eim. 1 r- i-n'-. S;ark. Haxoabin* bor. John rHuble, Mi Id.edcx twp. H C Turx. Brads'. Arthur Turn -t. leilenjn. Jacob F Wise. JackMio. Hear) Forward. SKIIXD WKM -r:tt:io MWSW, I?TH. S.vmwt Adams. F tlrview township. Willi mi Adams. TV istiuuton. Andilbald Black. Donegal. John Bi-ifnur. Adams. Chare* Cranraer. Clay. 1> M Cnrss. Marl'm. Joseph Curry. Sllpwryrock. John Cannon. Barker. Allen Campbell. S uiDory bor. John Doerr, Butler twp. T B Ifxlds. Franklin. Joseph Kwing. Clinton. W II Knsininger. Butler bor. 0 I' (iraham. Cranberry. K S (irant. Allegheny. William Gibson. I'etrolla bor. John Itainii.Summit twp. Faul Kelster, Hllppenirock. Tlioma« Kennedy, WinfiWd. Minimi Keefer, LaneMter. J amen Kellev, «s*i. Sunliury bor. John M !»u:len, Clav twp, Alex I»wry. Butler fior. J W McNaughton, Washington. J H Muntz. Ccntreville bor. 'Hi'unas Morrow. Clearfield. James Monroe. I'etrolla bor Jain •* Mahond jr. Waor. J W Young, Allegheny twp. F Ze liner, Jaekium. TKIRI> wr.r.K- YOVttTU MOXD.tr, 3BTO. Solomon Albert. Franklin township. F M Brawley. Barker. Alex Brown, Mercer. J K Bard, Centrevllle bor. James Barr eso. Adams twp. Samuel Cross, Worth. JamesColgan, Allegheny. Israel Craiuner, Clay. John Cypher. Wlnfleid. James Crawford, AlleKheny. Thomas Chantler, Middlesex. John Carrotliers. Clay. John Cumlierland. Conconl. William Crtilksiiauks. Wiufleld. B l>oiigh>-rty, I'etrolla l*>r. T.iarles Deftriek, Middlesex twp. John B D»vK eso. Clinton. John Ferguson. Middlesex. Benjamin linrvln, Cranberry. A D tilllespie, Washington twp. John Ooenrtn?, Jiu-kson west. J W (ileun, Mereer. Abuilom (Irajr. Connoqueneaelng north. Mleli.tel Hlggins, Venuigo. J M Heeler. I'etrolla lior. James Kildoo, Clav. King Ijiwrence. Muddycreek. Thomas Mctiafflck, Hllp^ieiyrock. J Kussell Met 'and less. I herry. A II Mor«e, ew|, Buffalo. Hamuel Meals, Venango. A Mll'er, Fairvlew west. Hugh M< Fadden. Donegal. James NlliUx'X. ( onn'Miuenesning south. James Norrls, Summit. Henry Billow, eso, Butler bor. John I'iirks. of Win, Middlesex. Lewis lteellg. Siliniutt. (i S Slink el*. Parker. Abraham Heckler. Jackson west. V tward Sefton, Clinton. A ex Wilson, Allegheny. John Webb, Cl>>y. 1 Wild.worth, (lay. LUI oI Tr Mt-rse Jiir«»rM er. Middlesex. ■folio Olark Washlngum. Charles C.itioljy, Peun. John II Cunningham. CUtilon. rteo W Campbell, butler bor. O sV Dodds. Connoquenessiiig. Nicholas Diimh'tch. Cranhnrrv. John W Kkis. Saxonbnrg bor. Jsme« Freeman, t'rwib irry township. Paul Oottl eb. Jefferson twp, Banuiil Otllagher, Muddycreek. A W Oroeaman. Brady, Henry Oreenawald, Jack son. Jaeoli Orai'tm. Clearfleld. B F Milliard, Waehington. Jacob llilgar. Sllpiwrvrock. David Henry. Buff do. Jneeph l ogan, Jefferson. John Mnk Jr, Worth. B-txter I,'iwan. Penn. Peter Miller. I Aocaixer. Alonzo Franklin. Patrick McNaiuoe. Venango. William Moore, Fairview. Ales Morrisop. I.ancaeter. W T Muchling. Butler bor. Jame* K*y, • eon t iwuship. A M Beyu'tlds. Venango. Bobt. Ht. Clslr. Outre. J F Htltieiorf. Washiiigtnn. William Sh»phard. Middlesex. Frank Klator, Donegal. John Studebskor, Worth. Ch*« Tinker, Cheiry. John Vensil. Donegal. W F Wick Clay. Chrlxt Walter. Jackson. J O Zieyler, Jackson, "W| r AND"WisoolT" 'HE BEST HUVOROU3 WEEKLY PAPER IN THE LAND. ILL TIIE FUN OF TIIE DAY, I P'gee of good reading matter. cent*. MRK 'l'll FT3 CLU II IIATK-I I copy 1 year, #JOO : 0 m lithe, |1 00 i copies 1 •» H 00 ; " 4 Ml » " " Ir. C); " 800 Otitis not neoesearily to otie address. WUBTELE A CO.. 2 CITT Han. PLAOB. Nrw Yoa*. iubecriplions either single or in club* will IK tteived at Cmzns office. Or the CITIZB* will I olnued with WITAMJ WISDOM at BK 00 for Mh. feb'2H-Ht HOT KLiS SRAND BOULEVARD'HOTEL Corner 59th St. A Broadway, NEWIORK On Iloth American and European Plana. PmuliiiK I II Central I'ark, the tirmid Boulevard, roadway and Fill)-Ninth St.. this Hotel occu rs the entire square, and was built and fur klicd at all cx|M-usc ot over »U*> Jit*). It is oue of e most elegant as well as lieltig the Dnest lo ■ modern improvement*, and Is wllhln one Hliure ol the detsns of the Sixth and Klghlll i :ievnted ii. B. ca/s and still nearer to the curs- cotiveulenl and aeeeaslble (mill li.tilsof the city. Booms with hoaid.ft! per ■>. Special rates foi lamilles and |MTiiiiiliciit ■e>i«. K. I (ASK hi. 1., Proprietor, K-IIP. SBIIBEIREIt HOUSE. ■ L NTCKT.AS Prop'., ■AIN STREET, BUTLER, FA. taken of the shove well H.wn Hotel and it being fiirnit-hed In the of style l«ir tlm «c«;.>m nlalii.ti of t'UeMto. tie sre teepi'cl'ully "lulled lo give me s esll hsvn aUo posoewion of the barn in rear of H»l, which Itiriilfhen i-xisjllmt «tabilng, ao y< VOL. XVIII. MRS. LYDIA E. PINKHAM. OF LYNN, MASS. MCUVEB£H or LYDIA E. P!r*KH®B VPSSTAELS COrPOTTHD. Th? Po'it'r* Crr i: 'J. O-l r-n"-iat cf it: : rev:;i i:u %It 1; 1-v ' jr> and ty tlj l. t in the eocntrj. It will rtire *rtirc.!7 t.Vj r r-t form cf f-lllrj of the Btcrsx, L..t: rt orrl:< a, ir:cjul .r and f clzZij Ueti-Ttniatloii,raOvaria:iTraubk% I:.r.amnsalio.i r.r:J Ulceration, f Joc-dins*, a!l L'lrr-lacenKnU •oqnc weaknerr, txxl is er;x.ciaUy adapted to the Cianffe of Life. It villclliaiolre ar.d tumorj fromtlientcroelaancartyrtsco of Cvvclrntamt. T.:e tcadcacy taraaceroushumori tlie. j i; cLociusJ rtry •peedil7 t y It* mtc. la fart It has prcrod to I*o toe rrreat est and best remedy tiict 1 .an crcr been dierovcr- I ed. It permeate# erery portion of f~e ry*tcm, tnJ gird aew life and - | stroja ail cn-ring tor stimulants an 1 rcllcr. • r/eal noai of the stomarh It cores Bloating, ncadarbci, Nrrroas Protrtration, CJeneral Debility, Clecplf.;.:ncnr, Depression a::d In/.i lestlon. That fecllnj of bearing dov-n, cautir.gr pain, weight and backache, Is alr/sjs j* rrnancr.t!y ctsrtd t j Its use. It will at all times, sad under rII kLty of the Llrer. Li c< nts ix r Lot GlO. A, K£l LY & CO. General • ts, Pittsburgh. Pa. Sold by I). 11. Wuller, - Butler Pa. if you arm a niaa l f you ai • BMr ofba'tTiftM inwn of Wt- ■ aoec by t!ie strain of Ui«Uiliii«overmfd ■ ■ your 'Jutle# a? >td 1 * tim\A work, u» res- M H stimuUiiUand use ■/ Uimliiniii u-vt auu B I Hop Bitters. Bjwmk, u«o hop I. I J If you are j >un* sn J|| safferlnir from sry in pj dl«.rt;tlon or HR tion , ir you ate mar- u rital or »in«l--, old or IJ vuuu*', suifcriiiic from ■ tioor health - ■ new, ivly on Mo p U Bitter*. U Wbierer vouar*. A ll.ouMands die an- ■ whetM ti*r you feel |od fl nuuliy fro in some ■ that yoar sysien fonn ° r .|C »dn• y H fu-odj t ton- disea»«> that initrht 11 i rue or »«.linuiatbiif t ■■ 3 hare oj-en |>ret« uU-d Pj without tntoftculiiiy, H[| by s timely u»* of t.k. Hop ilKv Hopßltt.r* Bittor*. MW&\ Have f on dye- . a. ' ---y mSV| O. I. O. or urinnrucom- I. " w " plaint, dueaw! fl: j 1 * ebeolute oflb. W IT OT) L' 1 "* I *.'*" bow,!., blood. »! 111 J y <•» r e for liver orneroa fm * gL * J k , w lit * II »»se of opiora, Y^ I 1 ? 1,1 » niTTrnft tobacco, or BTTFRS r~ Ifjoa.ra.lm- '« t | Wli; hjArog. |; NEVER a^u M T. ndtß ' •aver 1' CA I| - uor u,TTm I If®, it hna g |A I L I " ,ro n saved hun- jn , DHMn, I. T. Or*da. * >"■»", f »i- WILLITCUR£IE? Hiinl a mini, wIK H.-» norlirgMK- r otinl. II Wuller,. I. I Itcdlck, /Immemiun & tiller. Coulter Hi Moll. Union Woolen Mlll7 BUTLKIt. I'A, 11. FUl.l.i:itTO\. I'rop'r. Matiulin tuicr ol HI.ANKET., Ki*nnki,«, YAKNH, Ac. Abo cu.tiiin work done lo order, .uch n» cardlnir KolU, unking Itlunkei., Pbniucl. K■■it - and Wcavliie Yiru., i lilnl In ll e IJ. H. eervlce fn ni .Itv cuin-e, *:>-II ii.i I i ire ol ileie.e ed roldlcte. 'lie |ei fin. I I'NMONH INflll AH|l I.,iit.ly .nd new d|srhat(!«-H p'ot'iircd 'Hoc in di.nl I a-to »Utli" m till* dto mi* till tf etionld m nf liberty and the restored Un'on win the grander victories of peace. The prosperity which now prevails is without a parallel iu our history. Faithful seasons have done much secure it, but they have not done ao. The preservation of the public credit and the resumption of specie payments so succes.-fully attained by the admin istration of my predecessor, has ena bled our people to secure the blessings which the seasons brought. Hy the experience of comiuerc'iil nations in nil ages it has been found that gold and silver afford the only sale foundation for a monetary system. Confusion has recently been mealed by variations iu the relative value of the two metals, but I confidently believe lhat arrange ments can he mi'de between the leading commercial nations which will si cure tl o general use of both metals. Coll grci-s should provide thu' the compul sory coinage of s Iver, now required by law, may not disturb our monctaiy sys em by driving either metal yut of cirVulu'viou. ft jKlb'u/ble, b'ticb u'd- ju9tment should he made that the pur chasing power of every coined dollar will be ex ctly equal to its debt pay ing power in all the markets of the world. The chief duty of the National Government, in connection with the currency of the country, is to coin money and declare its value. Grave doubts have been entertained whether or not Congress is authorized bv the Constitution to make any form of pa l per money legal tender. The present issue ol United States notes have been sustained by the necessities of war, but such paper should depend for its value and currency upon its convenience in use aud its prompt redemption in coin at the will of the holder, and upon its compulsory circulation. These notes are not m >ney, but promises to pay tnoncv If tue holders demand it, the promise should be kept. The refunding of the national debt at a lower rate of interest should be accomplished without compelling the withdrawal of the national ba:ik notes, and thus disturbing the business of the country. 1 venture to refer to the po sition I have occupied on financial questions during a long service in Con gress, and to say that time ami experi ence have strengthened the opinions I have so often expressed on the.-e sub jects. The finances of the Government shall suffer no detriment which it may be possible for my administration to prevent. The interest of agriculture! deserve more attention from the Gov ernment than they have yet received. The farms of the United States afford homes aud employment lor m ire than one-half our people, and furnish much the lar/est part of all our exports. As the Government lights our c uists for the protection of mariners and ;he ben efit of commerce, so it should give to the tiller of the soil lights of practical science rid experience. Our manufacturers are rapidly mak ing us industrially independent., and are opening to capital aud labor new and profitable fields cf employment. Their steady and healthy growth should sfill be maintained Our facil ities for transportation should l»e pro moted by the continued improvement of our harbors and great interior water WBVS aud the incease of our tonnage on the ocean. The development of the world's commerce has led to an urgent demand for shortening the great sea voyage around ('ape Horn by construc ting ship canals or railways across the Isthmus which unites the two conti nents. Various plans to this end have been suggested, and will need consid eration, but none 'of them have been sufficiently matured to warrant the United States iu extending pecuniary aid '»he subject, however, is one which will immediately engaire the at tention of t' e Government, with a view to a thorough protection to American interest We vill urge no narrow policy, nor seek peculiar or ex clusive privilege* in any commercial route, b't in the language of my pred ecessor, I believe it to be the right and duty of the Uuited States to nssert and maintain such supervision and author ity over any inter-oceanic canal across the slhmus tliut connects North and South America as will protect our na tional intercFt. The Constitution guarantees abso lute religious freedom. Congress is prohibitcl from making any law re specting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exorcise thereof. The territories of the United States tire subject to the legislative authority of Congress, and hence ihe General Government is responsible for iinv vio la ion of the Uoii.-titution in any of them. It is, therefore, a reproach to the government that iu the 1110-JI pop ulous of the Territories the Constitu tional guarantee is not enjoined by the people, and the authority of Congress is set at naught. The Mormon ("uirch not only offends the moral sense of mankind by sanctioning polygamy, but prevents the administration of jus tice through the ordinary instrumeu talies of law. In my judgment it is the duty of Congress, while respect ing to the uttermost the conscientious convictions tintl religious scruples of every citizen, to prohibit within its jurisdiction all criminal practices and piety of that class which destroy the family relations and endanger social order. Nor can any ecclesiastical or ganization be safely permitted to usurp in the smallest degree the func tions and powers of the National Gov ernment. The civil service can never be placed on a satisfactory basis until it is regu lated by law. For the good of the service itself, for the protection of those who are entrusted with the appoint ing power against the waste of time and obstruction to the public business caused by the inordinate pressure for place, and for the protection of incuui bents against intrigue and wrong, I shall at the proper time ask Congress to fix the tenure of the minor offices of the several executive departments, aud prescribe the grounds upon which re movals shall be made during terms for which incumbents have been appointed. Finally, noting always within the authority and limitation of the ('(insti tution, invading neither the rights of the Mates nor the reserved rights of the people, it will be the purpuse of my administration f o maintain the authority of the nation, and in all places within its jurisdiction to en force obedience to all the laws of the Union in the interests of the people, lo demand rigid economy in all the ex penditure!* of the Government, and to require ihe honest and faithful service of all executive nfli-ers, remembering that the offices were created not for the benefit of incumbents or their support ers, but for the service of the Govern ment. And now, fellow-citizens, I am about to nKstitm' the great trust which you have com nittcil to my hands. I appeal for that earnest and thoughtful support which makes this Government in fact, as it is in law, u Government of the people. I shall greatly rely upon the wisdom and patriotism of Congress and of those who may vhurn with uieihe rc-pou-.ihi!iiics and iln tie;. of administration. And above nil, tijsin our efforts to promote the wel fare! of tbis giVut l'Wi>pfo dud tboir Government, I reverentially invoke the support and blessiugs of Aluiightv God. ' 117 G MACOM HEX'S HEART- S THING *. There has been an elopement up the river, and some of the hoys were sit j ting around the Cri-ssman House stove | talking about it. As the girl in the ! case was soon to have been married, 1 the burden of the conversation wast v e I disappointment and grief that must i have over we I ill ;?d tue deceived bride \ groom. | 'Yes.' said the Sheriff, striking a | match on his trousers leg and lighting j the stub of his cigar for the fifth time j —'Yes, the poor fellow must have felt i bad ; but what is his din't i know whether you ever knew Wig. j He was a solemn cuss, and lived down l in Ul.-ler l.' m i'y. He wis i;i I ive i with a girl named Simaatha Jane Mi.rr s. Tbis was before the war. Thev were engaged to be tiiarra-d. A fill ir ti i ib-d .I. HI Archer cauv t i th:> town where i!* - y lived. Ilf was a tinker, and set up a tin sii >o lie fell in love wil l Saiuaotha IM call her Sa tiiu.itlit now, but it she was here 1 wouldn't. I'll tell von why. I was a young blood in those days, aud a mack erel soaked for a mouth couldn't be any fresh 'r than 1 was then. Nit long af ter I vveutjtothe town I got acquainted with Wig. lie tonk tiic over to see his gic! oiie night, and introduced inc. Uc lure I went one of the boys said : 'You'll like Sain intha. I vouwantt* make a good impression, don't be too formal. Act as if you'll kn >wn her for years, ; i ( J she'll take to you.' 'Wig and 1 went to the house. I saw at once that Miss Morris win a girl whose appetite must be good, and that she hadn't been raised on ice cream and cake. She brought out some of her old man's cider. That ci der wasn't intended for boys to tamper with. There was ten dollars or ten days iu every two glasses of it. I didn't seem to get along with Miss Morris verv well. 1 thought maybe I wasn't familiar enough. After 1 had drank two glasses of that cider 1 made up my mind that I'd show her I didn't come there to put on airs She sat by a window. Ii was in July, and the window was up There was to be a festival in the Methodist Church. I walks over to where Saiiiautha sut, anu sto id iu front of her. 'Are you going t) the festival Samantha? I said. Then 1 thought to myself. That's familiar enough to suit her, I guess.' ami 1 smiled all over. 'Boys, Miss M irris got up like a jack-in-the-box. She swatted IUO on the side of lhe head with her flit liairl 1 dropped out of that window as if a coal train had struck me, an 1 doubled up in a bar el ol' rain water thit stood under the window. As I crawled out 1 saw Saiiiautha leaning out ol the win dow. 'Sauriutha, is il ?' the yelled. 'You ever come 'round these iliggin's again, an' I'll git you up a festival, an' you'll think tin y re cruniniiu' ice cream down you red hot.' 'I found afterward that Samantha was a little lender on being called Sa mantha, and the boys had played it uu urn. 'Well, Jim Archer set up his tin shop, and fell iu love with Sim tilth i Jane Morris She was a blame g iod lookiiig g 11, if she was a little particu lar, iti d her old in in had the rock- 1 . I felt son's when Sam nil ha shook Wig. Mac >mb"r and froze tin to Jim lor Juu was a staving good fellow an I one <•! the boys, lie ti ed to set up with us and taken hmd in "ur little teu-eeut ante, four shillings limit, and general ly held his own. '1 remember a funny thing that c: me very m ar breaking up his match with Samantha. lie sang iu the cnoir ofthe Method st church. One Satur day night we had been holding a ses sion at poker ii little later than n-u 11. but Jim went lo church all right Sun day morning. The preacher was a flowery vouug roister, and when lie be gan lo preach Jim fell into a doze. The prcaclu r preached along, and grew eloquent, lie began to describe a scene at daybreak, 'See where it comes,' he said, 'the morning, all uflusli—' 'Jim woke up just then. He'd been dreaming I s'po.sc. 'A Hush V lie said loud enough to be heard all over the church. 'A llusli is good, old man; take the pot.* 'Jim saw where he was, and walked out Samaiiilia was there. She got mad. and it took Jim a good while to fix tilings with her. Then they got married. Wig Macomber was all broke tip over it. and he grew more solemn than ever. 'Poor Jim il cd a lew months after ward. lie left his widow *.!00. some second-hand stoves, ami other store goods. Maybe you Won't believe il, boys, but a year after that Wig, was engaged to Samantha again. Then Frank Law son came to (own, ami went to tending bar al Ihe tavern, lie had a black mustache and the biggesl watch chain I ever saw. Saniiintha met Frank at a pickuick, and I hope to uet shot if she didn't break o|f with Wig! again, and she and Frank were engag ed Wig was all bound up iu that , girl, and vuii can imagine how lie fell, 1 'Well, sir, while Frank and Sanian-' lha were spo ining, who should come to town lut a young Ii Mow named Will Wiirifins. He was from I'oiiglikeepsie, II nd went to clerking in a store in i town. You may tluuk I'm stretching it, but I'll Iri al il lie didn't capture Su inaiithii After she had given Wig the slip for Frank Laws MI, Wig, wouldn't speak to Frank, he felt so cut up. When Frank got tie grand bounce, | renumber -ecing Wig ineei him in the street, lie went up '.o Frank in his sojeiiiti Way, aud with out a word i-liook hands with liiin and pissed on That was a comical si;:hi, ut.d no mis-j take. I 'lt wasn't 1 mgb'fore it wns noised about Sam ini ha and Wi/trus were to lie inu• i i«-i 1 Frank Lawsuit went away. liui Wijr stuck to it. Well. Sa iu aui hi didn't marry Will Wiggins. He ijot ftill 'Of liter ou'i icfietudoii) ainl tW boys put hi in to bed. He slept until nearly daylight next morning. He looked at his watch. It was half-past 5. He thought it was half-past 5 ia the afternoon of the day he went to be.l. He was to eat supper at Saman tha's house at 6 o'clock the same after noon. He dressed himself and hurrivd down to the house. He thought it was funny there weren't any light in the house, but lie knocked and banged at the door. Pretty soon a window was raised op stairs 'Who's that down there, and what are ye 'tanking' that door fur?' 'lt was Saiuuntba's mother's voice. 'Whv, I've come to supper,' said Will. 'Ain't you well. Mrs. .Morris ?' 'Mrs. M irris came down stairs. She opened the front door Mr. Wiggins found that Mrs. Morris was quite well. The match wns broken off, and if you ever wanted to see a man get up and hop, all you had to do was to ask Will Wiggins to take supper with you. 'Now, sfc here. boys. L don't want vou to be suspicious of what I'm troing to tell you, for it's the ironclad truth, and of you ever go down in Ulster County they'll tell you the same. Wig. M ico nber and Samantlia Morris made up, and the old engage ment was renewed. Wig was ascer tain of her this time as he was of his dinner. I'm blamed, if you couldn't get a smile cut o! him once in a while, and he went in the tavern one uiifbt and set 'em up for the bovs Wig had an uncle named Barker—lob Parker— one of the jolliest old bachelors that ever lived. He wasn't much older than Wig. Maconiber. He lived up the Kondout Creek, and had about $25,000 showed away. He had writ ten Wig a letter after each one of Wig's little set backs with Samantha, kind o'making fun of him. That rather riled Wig, and he thought he would got even with his uncle by inviting hiiu down to see him married. Uncle Job didn't have much to do ju-t then, and he came down a couple of weeks before the wedding day 'to kind o' get ac quainted with his new relations, he said. Hoys, it's a solemn fact, and a hard one to believe, but ifW'g's Uncle Job didn't cut him out with Samantha I hope to holler. Cut him out dead, uml, more than that, married her. 'Disappointed ? Wig was all tore to strings. Talk about this young fellow ud the river whose girl ran awav with another man! Why, he'd think a soothing balm was running nil over his heart if he should meet Wig. M.icom ber. 'I was confidential with Wig in those days, and one day 1 went to him and told him to cheer up. 'Uncle Joh'll peg out one o' these days' I said, and then why can't you tackle Samantha again ?' 'Wig, sighed and shook his head. Then lie siid, us solemn as on owl: 'No. It can't l»e done. Under any other circumstances I might wait. But I never could bring myself to mar ry my aunt.' 'I hadn't thought of that. His !n« sqnars, one uiaaman. 91 ; M4k safcse queut insertion. 50 cent*. Tttflj adrerti*MWnl exceeding one-fourth of a column, liiwM I Figure wort doable these rate*; irtrHtioaa L-h»rgoe where weekly or monthly tbum in made. Local advertisement* 10 oanta per ha* for flivt insertion, tul 5 sent* per Unit for rrnfc additional insertion. Marriage* and death* pefc luned fiee ot ci *rge. Obituar* nrrtira* eh an *4 aa adrertiMmenta, and payable' whan haoded ia Aaiitor*' Notice*. $4; Executor*' and tratora' Notice*. *8 each; Cat ray, Caatfcm as* Dissolution Notice*, not *xeeedi&f tea Haas, each. ■ From the fact that the Cmni i* the oMh* ertab lr-hed and most extensively rirtnjaltd B»- pabii.-an news) »p« r in Butlar coanty. (a Repnfc- Lean county • it mast be apparent ta boatitata men that it is the medium they ahoold nee ia advertising tti»-ir bnsiueea. NO. IT A COLORADO OBITUARY. 'Haw much will this cost ia your paper T asktd a quiet looking man, "a* he handed in the following advertise* ment at the Eagle counting roooa yesterday. 'Smith Busted a trace in this eity, Friday, just after dinner, Mary Smith, wife of the undersig .ed. and daughter of old Sam Pratt, the leading blaek smith of Denver, Colorado. Tha corp.e was highly respected by the high touedest families, but doath got the drop on her, and she took the up bucket with perfect confidence that aha would have a square show on the other side of the Divide. The plant trans* pires this afternoon at her boarding house on Willow street. Come one, come all. ••I>ear?st Mary thou has left u», , For on earth there wasn't room ; Rut 'tin heaven that hast bereft us. And snatched our darling up the tun*. "Denver papers please copy and send bill' or d aw at sight. "By her late husband, P. Smith-', 'I don't believe you want it in just that way, do jrou?" asked the clerk, rubbing his chin dubiously. 'Why not, stranger? asked the qniet man. 'lt don't read quiet right, does it?' asked the clerk. •Was you acquainted with the corpse, stranger ?' demanded the quiet man. ' Was you aware of the lamented when she was bustling around amoag society down at the boarding house?,' •I don't know that I ever met her, * responded the clerk. 'So 1 reckoned, jedare. You was not up t» the deceased when she was iu the living business Now, jedge, the deceased wrote that oration herself afore she died, and I want it ia. Do you hook on, partner?' 'But it isn't our style of notice,' ob jected the clerk. 'Nor mine, ueither,' acquiesced the quiet man. 'I was for having a picture of her and a lot more talk, but she said she wanted it quiet and modest, so she whooped that up Say, stranger, if it going into your valuable space without difficulty ?' i '1 dvu't know,' said the clerk dele fully. 'I know, partner. Thia celebration comes off to-morrow afternoon, and that.s going iu in the morning, if it goes iu out of a cannon. I've got irrief enough on my hands, stranger, without erecting a fort on the sidewalk, but if you want war, I got the imple ments right in the back part of these mourning clothes. What d'ye think, jedge V 'Does it make any difference where it goes ?' asked the clerk. '1 want it in the paper,' said the mourner, 'and it's going in if it takes a spile driver. Think you twig my rack et, stranger?' 'All right,' replied the clerk. 'l'll put it in the 'Salad,' among the other mournful remarks. Four dollars, please., 'That's business,' and the quiet man paid the money. 'lf yoa ain't busy come round to morrow. I'm going to give the old woman a send-off, and if that gospcler don't work up a pretty good programme before he gets to the dox >logy his folks will think be has been doing considerable business with a sawmill She was a good one, judge, and she was pious from the back of her neck to the bunion on her heel; yoa can tell that from the notice,' and the mourning widower wiped his eyes on ihe sly, and later in the day was fined $lO for thrashing the undertaker, who had put silver handles on the caskets, instead of gold.— Brooklyn Sunday A'df/lr Rubber-headed tacks are handy to have iu the house in raaoy ways. They may lie placed on the backs of chairs to prevent injury to the walls, and in the rabbits of ratteling windows to stop tl.e noise, or in the jambs of doors for a similar purpose. One feature of the Day Kidney Pad, is commendable, that nothing is claim ed for it, except what it will absolutely effect Remnants of boiled or roast meat may IK; iftilized by chopping them with wicn their quantity of bread, season ing with salt,pepp'rand herbs, moisten tng with eggs and a little mel ed but ter beaten together, and either cooking iu a loaf or in small cakes on a griddle. Statement from a well-known Drug House.—Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup is the most popular Expectorant we are sell ing. Hadi.ry Bros., 317 Indiana Avenue, Indionapolis, Ind. The Florida orange crop has bees sadly damaged in some localities by the unusual cold weather. Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe writes that her cop has been completly ruined. A hundred thousand oranges, uipped by the frost, lie rotting on the ground in her orchard. The objections to the metal tip upon children's shoes do not held good against the A. S T. Co. beautiful Black Tip, and it is time parents were enquiring for them, for fine shoes as well as common, as they reduce shoe bills one half. Clergynl:*n, B inkers, Book-keepers, Mdi ors, and others that lead sedentary lives, will find much relief from the frequent headaches, nervousness and em-tipation engendered from waat of exercise, by taking Simmons' Liver Regulator. It is a harmless vegetable compound; it can do no.iujurr; and numbers who have trie I it will confi dently assort tli it it is the host remedy (hat can lie used. A celebrated preacher makes the rec ommendation of Ayer's IMIs a matter of religious duty. When po iple are bilious and dyspeptic, what they need is the (Jospel of Health. In such cases, the best creed to swtllew con sists of the thirty sugar-coated articles in a pill-box. There are said to be 400 places la San Francisco where opium is sold, and many of them are ssid to average $75 a day. If such is the fact the sale of this fatal drug In the United State* must be a enormous, and with tha influx of Chinese to this country, (a would *e«m that before loug soma national legislation will he necessary to doumfl tli* ft tbit