THESE ARE GOAKS■ j 1 An infant is the primer of humanity bound in more rocker. Not the income but the outcome j causes the racket in married life, says f the New Orleans Picayune. ; 1 People who have to pay plumbing j bills would like to know if the plumb- , I er's assistant is a "legal tender." I ' Msud (an aristocratic child): "How ! j pretty and clever you are, mother! I'm so glad you married into our fam- ' My" j The mule puzzle—Draw a circle tif- ] teen feet in diameter, place a mule in , centre, and walk around him with out getting out of the circle. The New Haven -Register is inti mately acquainted with "a man who i changes from winter to spring clothing j by simply ripping off the tay sole of his boot." A Leadville man who was seen com ing out of a gin mill at 10 p. m., felt terably ashamed of it. No Leadvill ian thinks it proper to leave such a "place before midnight. Five hundred dollars reward is of fered for the return of a dog to Miss Irene Lynch, of New York. Miss Lynch appears to be the most opulent Irish sufferer of the season "l nominate Mr. Hayes. Having traveled with the gentleman through the Great Western Circuit (during which trip I twice beat 2:15), I can testify to his great popularity."—Ra rus. A hen's brain isn't very large, but it is large enough to comprehend the fact that she never was the mother of an Easter egg, and that if she was it would not hatch painted chickens. A famous fibber told an extraordi nary story, which, strange enough, chanced to be true. "It is so extraor dinary," said a listner, "that if I did not know it to be true I should believe it to be false." "Ah," said the narra tor, "if it had been false I should have toMit in ft much more truthful manner than I did."— Paris Wit. A woman in New York accidentally went to church with two bonnets on her head—one stuck inside the other— and the other women in the congrega tion almost died of envy. They thought it was a new kind of bonnet, and too sweet for anything.— New Or leans Picayune. "You get up all kinds of brick here, don't you?" inquired a man at one of our leading brickyards. "Yes, about aIR What do you want?" The man edged toward the front of the yard as he replied, "Cambricks would do," and then cambricks at his head in every direction as he took to flight. Female printers plop the question to the .male typos by simply handing then! an interrogation point (?). If the latter intend to embrace the opportu nity and accept, they return a brace thus but if they wish to decline and dash the cup of happiness from the fair one's lips, they hand over a —. —* New Orleans Picayune. finiat need it there to worry and fret, And vainly try more trouble to borrow, When we know that after the sun has set To-day will be yesterday to-morrow. —Bolton Transcript. But if there', a note that's due you bet, You'd better remember it while you may; For it', important you shouldn't forget To-day was to-morrow yesterday. —American Quern. *79 during the struggle for the exclusion , of the Duke of York from the line of succession, the name being given to the followers of the Duke because he , favored the Irishmen. Johnson's def inition of a tory was this : "One who adheres to the ancient Constitution of : the State and the apostolical hierarchy of the Church of England." The word "Whig" is a contraction of "Whigga more," which in the South of Scotland i useil to denote a drover. In 1684, a i party of Covenanters attacked Edin \ burg, and after this "Whiggamore's • campaign" the word was taken up as , a term of reproach and applied to the ' opponents of the Court. Since the i passage of the Reform Measure of this [ I century the political successors of the - j two parties have been known as "Con- IBervatives" and "Liberals." Suiter Hitbtn: iiufclet:, j.ltt., HI ay 12, 1881. Prof. E. Hamilton's GREAT iW YORK CIRCUS Gold Band!! ISfß."fc3L^ir Tuesday, May 18th, ? 80. Triumphant Welcome. 33 Artists, Female 5 Riders, 3 ni~m»ihFo™»Sl». AH New. H» 20th Annual Tour. aitiats of tL- We value reputation above a few dol saved on salary. Every act and ar raeuti° ' n any of our publications 'sirn, 'no Peanut Men on the seats to an r\ - Prof. Hamilton will introduce his six e=a^? ?= * l e « l JLe trained horses, two of which will teater on yfr a plank, balancing 1 themselves, and will perform the dying horse trick. Over 100 jtt f? vi-f separate tricks performed by them. Mrs. Loveley, the Iron Jaw Lady, will 3\j\T \\4tf hold by her teeth, a cask containing forty \ r*J " two gallons of water, and will be drawn to & the dome of the canvass, carrying heavy weights with her by the teeth, having no equal. I) OORS OPEN at 1 and 7 P. M. ADMISSION 50 and 25 Cents. Beaver Saturday, May 15. Harmony. Monday, May 17. Butler, Tuesday, May 18. Millerstown, Wednesday, May 19. Petrolia, Thursday, May 2Q. GOOD DAY FOR GUDGEONS. I BANKS. ''Hi, sonny," said a keen-looking Chicago business man ; "what are you looking for ? Let me see that letter." "No, I can't let you have that let ter ; there's bonds in it." "Why, I 've been waiting for you this half hour to bring me those bonds I bought 'em of what's his name." Upon this the lad took out a big en velope marked "J. Smith Esq., pres ent;" in the upper corner, "$2500 U. S. 5 205," and in the lower eoriier ( "commission due, $5. Please remit by bearer." "That's all right, sonny," said the keen-looking business man, as he hauled out a scantily furnished purse, and gave the boy a live dollar bill and a quarter, and said : "There, sonny, that quarter is to re ward you for your cleverness and fidelity and putting the envelope in his breast pocket he walked leisurely round the corner. Not till lie had reached Union i'ark did he draw the precious envelope from his pocket and tear it open, lie then found that the envelope contained a copy of the Chi cago Times, which he could have pur chased at the office for five cents. "The lish are bitting very numer ously to-day," said "sonny," taking another big envelope from his pocket. NEW PUZZLE WITII WORDS. Students at the Institute of Tech nology have designed a rival to the Gem puzzle, which is beginning to ex cite considerable interest about town. Given two words of an equal number of letters, the problem is to change one letter at a time of the first so as to make a legitimate English word, con taining the alterations until the de sired result is attained. The conditions are that only one letter shall be altered to form each new word, and that none but words that can be found in Eng lish dictionaries shall lie used. Here are some examples of the changes : East to West —East, vast, vest, West. Boot to Shoe —Boot, soot, shot, Shoe. Dog to Cat —Dog, dig, iig, fit, fat, Cat. Millc to Hash —Milk, mile, male, mate, hate, hath, Hash. lioad to Rail —ltoad, rood, root, coot, coat, coal, coil, toil, tail, Hail. Soup to Fish —Soup, soul, foil, toil, foil, fowl, fool, foot, coot, cost, cast, fast, fist, Fish. The game is becoming quite popu lar in railroad officers, as well as in family circles and at firesides, and seems to furnish instruction with amusement. A TOWN LIGHTED BY ELECTRICITY. Wabash, I nd., boasts of being the first town to adopt the electric light for general illumination. A beginning was made March 31, with four Brush lamps of 3,000 candle power each suspended jon the flagstaff of the court house. A I seven horst-power generator supplies i the electricity. The contract called for 1 a light equal to a gas burner at a dis ; tance of 2,040 feet from the lamps. The tests were said to be satisfactory. Many visitors from adjoining towns I were present to witness the first trial of the uew method. TBID BSJTL.EII SAVINGS BANK II IT 'X- JLBII. PA. NEARLY OPPOSITE LOW BY IIOUSB. CAPITAL STOCK 60,000. FFA. CAMPBFLL. JAH. D. ANDERSON, President. Vice President. Wa. CAMPBELL, Jr., Cashier. DIRECTORS William Campbell, J. W. Irwin, ■ as. D. Anderson, George Weber, Joseph L. Purvis. Does a General Banking A Exchange business. Interest piid on time deposits. Collections* made and prompt returns at low rates of Exchange. Gold Exchange and Government Bonds bought and sold. Commercial paper, bonds, judgment and otliorsecurities bought at fair rates. ia2o:ly Executors* Police. Letters testamentary on ihe estate, of Bernard Rocsshig, dee'd, late of Cutler, Pa , having lecn grunted to the undersigned, all persons knowing themselves indebted lo s:iid est.itt will please m;ike payment and any having claims against the same will present them duly authenticated lor payment. MRS. R. ROESSING, Executrix, np2l~lt Butler, Pa. ALL PARTIES GOING WEST TO lowa, Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, Colorado or California, SHOULD GO VIA THE Chicago, Burlington & Quincy R. R, fcTTiekets cau be had at all offices where Western tickets aro sold. aplG-tf PENSIONS diers disabled in D. H. (Service from any cause : also for heirs of deceased soldiers. All pensions date hack to day of discharge, and to date of the death of the soldier. Pensions inereased ; Bounty and new Discharges procured. Address with stamp, STODDAUT ei- Y ai-cl. J. L. PURVIS. L. O. PURVIS. S.G. Purvis & Co., MANUFACTURERS ANI) OEAI.EUS IN Hough and Plansd Lumber OF EVERY DESCRIPTION, FRAMES, MOULDINGS, SASII, DOORS. FLOORING, SID.NG. BATTENS, Bracket?, Gauged Cornice Boards, PORCH POSTS, STAIR RAILS. Newell Posts and Balusters FENCE PALIN OS, Ac., &c , MICHIGAN SHINGLES, Barn Boards; Plastering Lath ; Ilem lock Bill Stuff, such as Joist Raf ters, Scantiiue, ■>>*. wiithlP. P. A J.. P. D. **-.1- »• * E-twicn cS!£go At I'ol'SCII BLrKFS. LEAVENWORTH and ATOUI- Island Short Line," and Hock Isl d & Peo. Kds. SON Through cars arealso run between Mil wail- At DAVENPORT, with the lJavenport Division kee and K:insas City. via the - Milwaukee and CM. * St. 1.8. K. „ „ if ink lalxml mi,»rt I ine " At W EST The Great Hock island" is magnificently At (Jrinxei.u. with Central lowa UH. eauioDed Its road bed is simply perfect, and its At I>es Moin es, with D. M. AF.IXIL R. •2! »l?*i*».i with steel rails At COUNCIL BLUFFS, with Union Pacific R. R. What will please you mast will be the pleasure At OMAHA, with B. X Mo. R. R. R. In of enjoying Your meals, while passing over the AtCOLTMHUSJi'NCTIos.wIth 8.,1. H AN. RJL beautt fiu I prali rres of Illinois ancf lowa, in one of At Om»iWA. with < entral lowa R. R. ; W.. our magnificent Dining Cars that accompany all St. U A Pas., * v-R- ««»• n il ron irii i>'rnro« Truin*> \ 011 cfit an entire At HLOKI K« witn ini., i eo. «x war., v» ao., - u HSfHHHr 5 '- *""■ w.JSor.a.varjVs. w • h *• purposes land the Immense passenger business At I.KAV EN WORTH. with Kan. Pac.. and Kan. of i his line warranting it i. we are pleased to an- Cent.lt. Itds. . „ r nounce that this Company runs l*uUmai% PuLict At Kansas CITY, with all lines for the West Sleeving Cart for sleeping purposes, and PiUace i and Southwest. PEL ■ U| \ PALACE CTM arc run througli to PEORIA. DEB MOINES. ror\ciLßLrrFi KASsi" ciTY. ATCHISSX. »a leavexwokth. Ticket! Tla thU Line, known as the "Orcat KUCK Island Uoute." are sold by all Ticket Agvnt. In the United States and Canada. For Information not obtainable at your home ticket once, address. A KIMBALL, 2£. «ST. JOHN. ,^ A «enl Tkt. and P^ 3 gr AgU E. GRIEB, DEALER IN FINE Watches, Clocks, Jewelry, SILVER WARE, SPECTACLES, &C. ENGRAVING OF ALL KINDS A SPECIALTY. MAIN STREET, (North of Lowry House,) BUTLER, PA. IST WATCHES" AND CLOCKS REPAIRED, AND WARRANTED.-«« A NEW DEPAIU'UKB $1 BOTTLE PATENT MEDICINES FOB 38 CENTS ! JAD WIN'S TONIC LAXATIVE Is Appetizing, Palatable and Non-Alcoholic, AND ALWAYS CUKES Dyspepsia, Sick Hcndnehe Constipation, Bil iousness, Sour Stomach, Liver Complaint, Want of Appetite, Indigestion. Jaundice, Kid ney Complaint, Nervousness, Dizziness, Sleep lessness, Heartburn, Colic, Debility, Foul Breath, Worms, Piles, Fevers, Colds, cine ever made ; the 44 Invalid's Friend and J Hope," and no person or family should be with out them. Try the Bitters to-day. Try Hop Cough Cure and Pain Relief. J *l-QB BALK BT AH. I>KCOr puckering the lining of the goods at the seuin, requiring no assistance from the operator, except to run the machine and to guide the work.' V point which no other machine possesses. > Itistheonly practical machine for hemming l.i-tsalpacas, poplins, muslins, and other similar goods w.ihout basting,and it is the only machine in the wor d that wiii turn a wide hem across the end of a slice t without fulling the under or upper side of the hem. . „ , It will turn a hem and sew In a fold at one oper ation. It win e produced on enr'other ui chine with tho same number of operations. ITD.ics not change length of stitch on 8.T0.1 w* rk. It sows from lace to leather without chining g-t'eh or tension. Kvery machine Is warranted fnr five yea. J ..na wi't l.e irept i*i repairs free of e x jienso to the pur _|-iir;\ i.E BY— II. GJ-rieb, BUTLER, PA, Warner's Safe Kidney Cure. J (Formerly Dr. Craig's KUlnr*/ Cirre.) A vegetable preparation and the onlv mire reiiMMly in tne world for lirliclit*» hincaM>, Oiab<>te«, and ALL Hltliivj, Liver, and I rlnnr.y IliK iUM -t. of the highest order iu proof of these statements. ■WTFor the cure of Dlahef es, call for War* ner'a Male 4'urc. •iffor the cure of Brlirht*a and the other diseases, call for Warner's Sale Kidney and Liver Care. WARNER'S SAFE BITTERS. It is the best HI.-MMI Purifier. nnd stimulates every function to more healthful action, uud is thus a benefit In all diseases. II curesMeronilous and otlierKliln Ernp tl(in» and Diseases, including Caarrn, 11- rer*, nnd other Horn, O.tipepiia, n'ealiiimofthr Klomarh, Constipation. IHnlncs.. tii-airral IM-bil llj, etc., are cured by the .Safi- Hitter*, it la unequaled as au appetlztraiul regular tonie. Bottles of two sizes ; price*, Sue. and 81.00. WARNER'S SAFE NERVINE Quickly gives Rest and ftleep to the suffering, cures ilea«l:i<-lie and Neuralgia, prevents Epileptic FIU, and relievesNmona trallon brought on by exc<*sslve drink, over work, mental shocks, and other causes. Powerful as it is to stop pain and soothe dis turbed Nerves, it never Injures the system, whether taken In small or large doses. Bottles of two sizes; prices, ftOe. and $1 .00. 4 WARNER'S SAFE PILLS Are an Immediate and active stimulus fbr a Hrure Oottlvsasss. Dyspepsia, Bil- « A loosnsss. Bilious Dtar rhues. Malaria, Fsvsr flfei r d u?T« 1 should I No other Pill* i«tli I nl Hull dmr* for tkorowh work. Frier 16 Cta. » bov MM bj DrupfisU h Dotlen la Med lei ac cvrrjvhm. Proprietors, . HWkTWPm EOOHESTEB, N. T. £H in C.'(9n P® r day at home Samples worth pj IW v fs free. Addreua STISSO."' 4 Co., Portland, Maine. dec3-ly NEW CURE, §—! irith uUinp, "HOME," Faoaxuuao, MB. U»7 lj f Time ol Holding Count*. I The several Courts of tbe county of Butler commence on the first Monday of March. June, September and December, and continue two weeks, or ho long \*> necessary to dispose of tbe business. No causes are put down for trial or traverse jurore summoned for tbe tirst week of tbe seveial terms. JAMES J. CAMPBELL, Office iu Fair view borough, in Telegraph Office. jaiiU] BALDWIN P. 0.. Butler Co., Pa. PIIIIRIB AUMOK, Justice of the Peace, Main street, opposite Postofllcc, J'y'" ZELIENOPLE, PA. ATTORNEYS AT LAW. BUTLEB, PA. ~ J. F. BRITTAIN, Office with L Z. Mitcbcll, Diamond. A. M CUNNINGHAM. Office in Brady's Law Building. Butler, Pa. S. H. PIERSOL. Office on N. E. comer Diamond, Riddle build *"B 'novl2 JOHN M. GREER; Office on N. E. corner Diamond. novl2 WJI. 11. LI.'SK, Office with W H.H Biddle, Esq. A EWTOTBLAUK; Office on Diamond, near Court House, south side. E. I BRUGH, Office In Riddle's Law Building. S. F. BOW SEli. Office in Riddle's Law Building. fmarK 76 r B. McJUNKINT * Special attention given to collections Office opposite Willard House. JOSEPH B. BRED IN, Office north east corner of Diamond, Butler Pa. H. H. GOUCHER, Office in Sclineidcman's building, up staii s. J. T. DONLY ' Office near Court House. r - 74 W. 1). BRANDON, ebl7-75 Office in Berg's building CLARENCE WALKER; Office in Bredin building- marl7—t FEUDUEIBER, Office in Berg's new building. Main street.ap9lj F. M. EASTMAN" Office in Bredin building. LEV. McQUISTI ON, Office Uain street, 1 door south of Court House JOS. 0. VANDERLIN, Office Main street, 1 door south of Court House. YVm A. FORQUER, ♦sT" Office on Main street, opposite Yogeley House. GEO. R. WHITE, ~ Office N. E. corner of Diamond FRANCIS S PURVIANCE7 Office with Gen. J. N. Purviance, Main street, south of Court House. 7 "jnCTMoJUNKIN, " Office in Sclineidcman's buildintr, west side ol Main street, 2nd square from Court Houce. A. GTWILLIAMS, Office on Diamond, two doors west of CITIZEN office. ap26 T. C. Office in Berg's new building. 2d floor, east side Main st., a few doors south of Lowrj House. marH-tf. n A. & M. SULLIVAN, raay7 Office S. W. cor. of Diamond. BLACK & BKO, Office on Main street, one door south Oi Brady Block, Butler. Pa. (Sep. 2, 1874. JOHN M MILLER & BRO^ Office in Brady's Law Building, Main street, south of Court House. EUOENK G. MILLF.h, Notary Public. jun4 ly THOMAS ROBINSON, BUTLER, PA. JOHN H. NEGLEY, •aTGives particular attention to transactions ia real estate tliroughout the county. OFFICE ON DIAMOND, NEAR COURT HOUSE, IN CITIZEN RCiLPrNQ E. K. ECKI.ey, KENNEDY MARSHALL. (Late of Ohio.) ECKLEY & MARSHALL. Office in Brady's Law Buildiug. 8ept.9,74 C G. CHRISTIE, Attorney at Law. Legal business carefully transacted. Collections made and promptly remitted. Business correspondence promptly attended to and answered. Office opposite Lowry House, Butler, Pa. MISCELLANEOUS. McSWEENY & McSWEENY, Smetliport and Bradford, Pa. M. N. MILES, Petrolia, Butler county, Pa. | jn3 WILLIAM It. CONN, Offico in Brawley House, GREECE CITY. |junc7-ly M. C. jan6 tf Petrolia, Butler co., Pa HOTELS"" WILL AL