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OtttOft
The whole art of -Government consists in the art of being honest. Jefferson.
VOL. 11.
STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA,, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 19 1850.
Noi 4;
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AT THE OFFICE OF THE
Jeffersonian Republican.
I Love She TLailies Every Ouc.
I love the ladies every one .
The laughing ripe brunette,
Those dark-eyed daughters of the sun,
With tresses black as jet.
What raptures in their glances glow ! ;
Rich tints their cheeks disclose,
And in the little dimples there
Young smiling Loves repose.
v I love the ladies, every one
The blonds so soft and fair,
With looks so mild and languishing,
And bright as golden hair.
How lovely are their sylph-like forms,
Their alabaster hue,
And tlfeir blushes far more beautiful
Than rose-buds bathed in dew.
I love the ladies, every one
E'en those whose graceless forms
Are rugged as the oak that's botne '
' A hundred winter's storms,
The young, the old, the stout, the thin,
At' ' The short as well as tall,
- Widows and wives, matrons and, maids,
Oh! yes 1 love them all.
1 love the ladies, every one
4 None but a wretch would flout 'em ;
This world would be a lonely place
, . If we were left without 'em.
, But lighted by a Woman's smile,
U - A way all gloom is driven,
And the most humble home appears
Almost a little heaven.
I loye the ladies, every one
They're angels all, God bless' em !
And what can greater pleasure gire
Than to comfort and caress 'em ?
I call myself a temparence man,
So 1UI drink their health in water
Here's to the mothers, one and all,
And every mother's daughter !
BAD II USB ARBS.
A lady sends us a leltter dascnbing the unkind- ;
ness ot two men to their wives, and asKing our ad- be a dream, and marriage the awakening. As it
vice in the matter. We give the . following ex- is, most marriages are commenced in deceit on
lract: J both sides, and consummated like any other piece
,..,. , , . , .... , , . , ! of acting in a stage scene, where the bridal cost
But enough, he is killing her; and married but Ilfnft - ?hR . ffa BUrarti The hannv rminlfi
nve momns. uo not casi uns way anu say mese
m t :
are monsters, a nu not men. you would cnange
your opinion if you heard their names
; Jor my
pait, I think them a fair sample of the whole.
' 1
vme m t.a uCai uau , uu ... a rya.u.au, wu
, . ii ii , . . . ;
ioiq iii in ner ujsease was uui iu ms ime 10 cure, as
it was a disease of the mind. I have ascertained .
. since, that he is not quite as tvranical as former-! uea,,"8' ana neve I0 any emergency, depart irom iard and rosin a valuable ingredient in the compo
Iv but she is in the decline " U, h,S-1S aPPh?aJb,e lo bolh "but more especi- sjtion of shaving soap. The quality of shaving soap
,4 Dear Mrs. S. your .ludge Watson was a very
good man ; I think I do not know any better, and
j-j . . , i
Susan did not grieve twenty years as another ac- (
quainiance oi mine nas, wno, tnanks to a gooo
constitution. ts not in a decline, and don't intend
to be. It is a long time since the fervor of her love
was gone, and she
has found it ner-Pssirv tn hnr I
has toui.d it necessary to her
irden her heart against any re-
peace of mind, to harde
every man is a tyrant one way or another, and I !
turn oi me atiections, or rather against the going ! herseu upon his knee and kisses his 44 beautuul tency, and then mixing intimately with it half its
out of the affections, knowing by sad experience ! eyes" u' wy of varety. There is no time of a ' weight of our resinous preparation, adding a few
they would be dahed iuthlesslv back Do not1 w?man's l,fe hn tlie vvanl of some regular pur- drops of some odoriferous substance. The same
trv tnmaiiP mp thint u .., ,t ; ' f . s i 8uU ,s s. raucn. fel1 as j"st aflor marriage. It is compound forms an excellent water-proof paste
try to make me think you know nothing of this ; ! generally the time she has least to do, and it is the ror lather. Boots when treated with it. will soon
am always glad to see an old bachelor, thinking j would save her irom a world of mistakes and rnis
there is one less to be tormented " T',e hushand has a great deal to think about.
JNow, that he has a wife to provide for, his busi-
Our readers must not think we have our finger ness becomes doubly interesting. If she was do
in a.family jar ! We do not know who the parties' inS anything before this, she is sure to quit it
are. and speak of th R,ihiont t.QoOQ r,Q . ,'
.,, t0r0 Ti mo 1. u , , B
mu 1C"WD " uc Husmoie we can give some
advice that may be useful to some one. In the
first place, we hope the writer will excuse us for
'saying frankly, You are a bigot, madam, for hold
ing such an opinion as you express of a
the aggregate. It wants every vestige
probability. All men are mortal, and a
err; buj in the whole circle of our acquaintance,
we know of but two entitled to the name of tyrant, 1
and we consider them both insane. Our constant
wonder is, that with our present marriage laws we
have so few bad husbands ho few who are dis
posed to exercise lhe full extent of the power con
ferred upon them by the marriage covenant.
There are quite as many wives, who, by cunning,
subterfuge and deceit, tyranize over their hus
bands, who, by superior power, enslave their
wives. This we look upon as the natural conse
quences of the doctrine of woman's inferiorty and'
dutjr of subjection.
ying is ihe'vice ofslaves.and is taught to wo
men, .as the .highest virtue. In the first place, an
"accomplished education" is a little more, than the
art of appearing what she is not, to get a husband.
Then comes the long life of managing him, by
those little arts of cajolery, which the Dana school
poetizes with such phrases as, " the strength of
weakness," "the sceptre of love." Our literature
ts teeming with particular directions about the mo
dus operandi. If Mrs. Brown wants a new car
pet, she does not ask Mr. Brown directly and ex
plicitly about the state of their finances, and the
propriety of the purchase; but she contrives to call
with him at the Jones,'1 where a superb one has
just been put down. She must talk about Jone's
carpet, cast side long looks at their own faded one,
sigh, look sad, speak with a melancholy cadence,
and always address Mr. Bown as "my dear."
Particular attention must be paid to his dinner
his coffee must be in line order, and his slippers
just at hand: but still a soft melancholy must reign
on a placid face of his injured wife as she waljjp
mournfully over the old carpet. All this time no
thing must be said ; but Brown must feel that the
sunshine of happiness can never beam upon the
face of Mrs. Brown, until it reflects from a bran
new carpet. When the carpet comes, the lady
has managed her card, it is that much of a gain
to her, no matter if it should be a heavy loss to
him. Their interests are not one. The business
of the firm is not a joint stock ; out door matters
are his business, in door interest are Iters.
Upon this principle a majority of married lives
are based ; and the phrases it assumes are almost
infinite. The more tyranical and domineering a
husband is, the more cunning and deceitful a wife
must become to manage him, unless she yield and
sink into an abject slavery as some few do.. But
to the case n point. The sorrows of a wife of
five months are not to be approached lightly. We
have heard much about 44 honey-moon," but have
an idea the honey is all in the moon that the im
aginary happiness is all moonshine. Observation
leads us to think the first year of married life is
more generally unhappy than any after period
thai there is in fact more intense wretchedness
crowded into that space, than she was ever before,
or is ever after capable of enduring in a life-time.
Our advice would be to all " burTor and be
strong," watch and wait until you have grown ac
customed to your new position. You are in a
transition state ; and should take no very positive
step, because you will seldom act wisely. Above
all things never make a confidant like this writer,
who will aid you to see your wrongs, or whose o
pinions of men will lead her to take it for granted
your husband is wholly in fault. When you are
unhappy, try to think the, fault your own, for very
likely it is so, either in whole or in part, and it is
natural for love to take blame rather than lay it on
the beloved object, just as it is natural or love to
wish to suffer for another. Then never utter, nev
er act a lie. Never put any show of seeming
never use any art of duplicity or cajolery, or
wheedling for any purpose, or with any one. Do
not understand by this that any ''art of affection,"
is wrong that coazing and endearments are de
grading. It is right to kiss a father, or husband,
or brother, in return for any favor or, no, not as
remuneration, but just to coax one to do as you
wish, only let the object be fairly understood.
Deal candidly, speak truth in all sincerity. With
a husband this candor should be commenced be -
fore marriage, and it should be on both sides
r - it i ill t.i i
We believe that much more suitable selections
would be made in the choice of partners were the
parties to reside in the same family circle for a
time, during which both should be engaged in their
usual avocations. TSach should make it a point
h fauhs or foibIes Then Jourlshfp would not
1 i t
hnd out m a week, that each has been most egre-
BU - - -w -. - - i r j
giousiy misiauen in tne otner, ano ii tney are pru-
: -! . .t : i : r t .:i:.:n r..
ue,,l lUKJ me " a hcii:w U1 uu&umics ior,evenin damp situations. I usually add to it a
1 T
11 Je t
. - - -......j.j ...... ihv, ... uiuww
VIoCiT n( nlir itn lannu mnrrmrroc i rn il tliio slnua
and ha, t0 df) w,lh j,, n,)W lQ mend matterSj
is tne question uui better late than never.
Commence a system oi truth and candor of lair
ally to wives and do not surfeit your husbands
with caresses. Do not teach to think him all you
reserve modesty-and delicacy of girlhood were
mere trapa. Courtship is represented as a heav-
en of enjoyment; be sure you prolong his until the
iast day of his life, if you live so long
It l
it is no uncommon thing for newly married peo-;
pie 10 uu iiKe ciiuoren, gei sick on sweetmeats; ano ;
afler lhe fa,r w,fe ,or wanl of something else
Q dt)j has lwjned her arms aroumJ .,dear Cnarle8
neck, until it is weariness to both ; she placed
very time when a pursuit of absorbing interest
she goes to board, or if she keeps house, her fur
niture is new, her family is small. She has cloth-
in enouBn inade UD for a vea- No sewin nn J
Visits to mantuamakers nothing to think about
o o j - i
r i but her Charles, and nothing to do but caress him ;
. --"live for him. Well, the Great Creator, when
. ulUes 01 m,nd and 00tJy lnal belong to a
lrllCtin." nrA . All .1. .,
. T
T;: a"u eHraw existence, ah tuo iacui-
, uuo ui mviug, uru lying dormant wiai
llmpn in ' ... womani Q,a nl mane ner lor this purpose rosin to one gallon of oil, and applied a mode-
nf r ' . ,v" uuv iuac rate neat sumcient to prouuet poriect solution. I
ui prooi or j her for an appendage to man "a creature to lv ' iun r,iio,i ,x,n Ofor lomno o.,ai Mor,Qi. .t,
liable to a"nd be loved." and nothine else. He frave hor all
one, irom over culture, becomes a kind of over- comparative intensities of light, -which J found to
grown mushroom. The course of nature is per- be as 7 to 5 in favor of the prepared oil. This
yerteq, and misery iS the result. No doubt there burned with u flame of peculiar richness, plainly
is a teat variety of causes, but a large amount of exceeding in density that from the simple oil ; but
all the unhappiness of early married life, could be j after two hours the flame of the prepared oil be
ameliorated if not cured, by "something to ."jgan to decline slowly, and soon became inferior
and by as much dignity and reserve as wnnl.J ore
vent the dietythe angel, "the ruling destiny of
my faib" of yesterday, from being converted into
the tame kitten of to day. But now we have corn
commenced, we must make this the subject of an
other article. Mrs. Swisshelm.
The New York Herald contains the following
abstract from a papei read by professor Olmstead !
.-u o c- i t -ii i. r , '
at the .Scienufiicconvent!on,vwhch. will.be found
to contain matter of much ihterat.
Professor Olmstead, on some peculiar proper
ties of a compound of lard and rosin, said :
" I do not know that notice has been taken by
chemical writers of certain peculiar properties
possessed by a compound formed of Hog's lard
and the common rosin of the shops. An accident
first led me to observe something remarkable in
this compound, and I have since made a few ex
periments, with a view of further investigating the
relation between these two substances. Wishing
to fit the brass plate of an old air-pump, so as to
make a close joint with the receiver, I had been
accustomed to apply to the plate a disc of leather,
saturated with lard. With the hope of rende ring it
more inpenetrable to the air, I added to the lard a
small quantity of rosin, and melted them together.
I expected the rosin, would give greater hardness
to the lard, and make it fill the pores more effect
ually, but was surprised to find that the change
produced by the rosin was to impart to the lard at
tendency to remain in the fluid state, so that, in a
winter's day, the compound, when cold, remain in
the state of semi-fluid, at the temperature of a
room moderately heated. 1 found also that this
preperation, when applied to the leather of the air
pump." rendered it peculiarly soft, and, at the same
time, very impermiable to air, so as to form a good
joint with the receiver. But what more particu
larly arrested my attention was this, that, having
inadvertenly left the leather on the plate of the
pump for nearly a year, during which time the U3e
of the apparatus was discontinued, I should sup
pose, when 1 took it out again, that I should find
the brass plate much corroded, as I had sometimes
seen it before, when exposed for a much less time
to the action of the oiled disc of leather ; but on
the contrary, the brass was entirely free from cor
rosion, and I have uniformly found the same to be
the case since, however long the leather may have
remained in contact with" the plate. This obsei
vation suggested another and more important use
of the same preperation for lubricating the pistons,
which being likewise of brass, and moving in brass
barrels, had before gave me much inconvenience,
by their liability to corrode by the action of the
oil used for lubricating on brass. Moreover, the
tendency of the preparation to assume the fluid
state by friction of the piston, made a very conve
nient and effectual application for this purpose.
1 had recently made a few experiments, with the
view of ascertaining the melting point of this com
pound, and the proportions of the ingredient which
give the lowest melting point. The best propor
tions are by weight lard three parts, rosin one
part. If the rosin be added in fine powder and the
mixture well stirred, (with application of heat,) it
softens, and so nearly approaches a fluid as to run
freely when taken up on the stirring-rod, at a tem
perature of 72 degrees. On melting the mixture
and setting it aside to cool, the following changes
take place : At 90 degrees it remains transparent
and limpid; at 87 degrees a pellicle begins to form
J on the surface,, and soon after it begins to grow
slightly viscid, and as the temperature descends it
passes through different degrees, of vicidity liko
oils of different qualities, until, at 70 degrees, it
becomes a dense semi-fluid.
44 It is an unexpected result, that the addition o
one part in four of rosin, whose melting point is
near 300 degrees, to lard whose melting point is
at 97 should render it more fluid, reducing the
melted point to 90 degrees imparting to it the pro
perties of a semi-fluid, at a temperature as low as
7G degrees, and even rendering the preparation o
; a softer consistency than lard itself, at a temoer-
1 ature as low as 60 degrees. This compound o
. .
lard and rosin, therelore, two somewhat remarka-
ble properties :
1. It prevails in the lard, and probablv in al
the animal oil and. fats, their tendency to generate
an acid, and thus undergo spontaneous decomposi
tion. A much smaller proportion of rosin than
one-fourth gives to the lard this property, destroy
ing as it does the tendency of these substances to
oxidation, oeveral important practical applica
tions result from this property. Its use for lubri
cating surfaces of brass or copper has already
been adverted to. It is equally applicable to sheet
ItW.I. " ' .w...- -w.j ...... UMU,u
irnn I hnvfl Fnnnn n rrv flun pimlinrr onnliaH
with a brush, sufficient, to preserve Russia iron
j stoves and crates from rusting durino- summer
- .
I - ....... ...
portion ol black lead, and this preparation, when
1 : ,1 ...iiK n l.nm K ; rt . ... I. . at
auuucu vim uiuaii) ik we uiuiuusi. pusstuiu mm
m bg found R complele protection tO sheet iron
stoves and pipes
The same property renders the compound of
is greatly improved by a larger portion of oil than
is usually employed so as completely to saturate
the alaki; but such soap becomes rancid when wet
with water, and suffered to remain damp, as com
monly, as when in use. If a certain proportion of
this compound is added to common Windsor soap
(say one-half its weight,) the tendency to grow
rancid :s
s prevented. A very soft and agreeable
shaving compound, or 4 cream,' may be i
steami in a close a cake J
shaving soap, so as to reduce it to a soft
made by
common
ng soap, so as to reduce it to a solt consis
after take the usual polish when blacked, and the
soles may be saturated with it without danger of
soiling the floor, as it does not rub off, while the
leather is rendered, in a high degree, impervious
to water.
41 The perfect solution into which the losin pas
ses when heated with oil, suggested the possibili
ty of improving, in this way, the quality of oil used
... " f" " . - ';"T "ull
in liiuwjina nun, auu uy ito icuuuiiiL uiu lUClLlllL!
nnint of lartl. to rnder that morp miimhlp fnr hurn-
ing in solar lamps. I, therefore, added powdered
rosin to lard oil, in the proportion of 8 ounces of
; holding the roBin in solution and regulating-the
I. ... P
-"" .
lamp so as to be nearly of the same size as possi
ble. I measured by the method of shadows, the
to the other, an effect which doubtless rose from
the clogging of the wick. I had hoped, on ac
count of the perfect solution which the rosin seem
ed to undergo, that the compound would burn free
ly without encountering this impediment; but in
this respect I was disappointed, and can only say
that if some means can be devi3ed lor avoiding the
tendency to clog the wick, the addition of a small
P.Jlon .f r9,n t0amJt ol? or !ar ttnihv
tially to its alue for burninfi jn solar lamps, by
rendering less liable to congeal, and by increas-
ing its illuminating power.
New Orlcaias Thirty Years Ago.
Death and the Hotel Keepers.
A worthy and eloquent wriier, who enacts
ihe part of New Orleans correspondent for the
Concordia Intelligencer, a new paper published
in ihe interior of the Siaie of Louisiana, quoies
an article from a Boston gazette, relative to a
man who once nearly escaped premature burial
in New York, during the prevalence of the yel
low fever, and adds the followihg Mory by the
way of illustration :
The foregoing reminds me of an incident
thai transpired a few weeks ago. Having dined
ai ihe Planter's, a firsi rale family hotel, kept
by Murry, formely of the Natchez Mansion
House, and repaired to ihe balcony, overhang
ing Canal street, to enjoy the sea breeze, I
fell iulo conversation with a gentleman regia-
rered on ihe books as Major H 1, late of
ihe British army. Like all oihers of hi class,
he had seen much of the world, and was cour
teous and communicative. He had served in
India, in the Peninsular, vin Belgium, in the
wars wnh this coumry, and subsequently, was
an aid-de-camp to Bolivar.
44 More than thirty years ago," said he, " I
was at this hotel, then known as Beale's. It
was in September, and the yellow fever was
prevailing, but as 1 had long been quartered in
the tropics 1 fell no apprehensions. My vis a
vis at dinner was Mr. Cameron, a young Scoich-
in an in ihe prime of life, commercial agent of
a Glasgow house. For three days we dined
and spent our evenings togeiher. On life founh,
he did not appear. While sipping my sherry
after dinner, I sent for the landlord, and in
quired for Mr. Cameron."
44 Major," said he, "your friend will never
dine with you again, but whenever you like 1
will conduct you to him."--
Struck wiih these wqrds which though ut
tered with a polite nonchalance, had something
ominous in them, I rose from ihe table and in
silence followed Mr. Beale. He threw open a
small parlor, and there lay my young friend,
with whom I had parted at two o'clock the pre
ceding evening, dead ! Sir, I have had my
comrade cut down by a cuirassier at my elbow;
l have seen whole battalions swept away by
artillery; 1 have seen a storming party torn
into fragments by (he explosion of a mine ; I
have seen brave men sink, at sea, and hundreds
perih in hospitals by the wasiing ravages of
wounds and disease ; but never have I been so
shocked and apparelled, as by (he livid corpse
of that young Scotchman ! He had been seized
wiih fever immediately after leaving my room,
and expired at daylight ; and so little impression
had it made, and so much was such a death
within ihe every day line of incidents, it had
not disturbed ihe business of the house, nor
jiad the landlord, who knew our intimacy, nor
ihe waiter, who attended us at table, and served
us with champagne the evening previous,
thought it of sufficient importance to me. In
those days, in New Orleans, resident gentle
men never appeared at. breakfast. They took
their coffee with a cher amie, some beautiful
quadroon ; but if they were absent at dinner,
you might, without further inquiry, apply for
letters of administration, on their estates ! My
poor friend was already in his duffin, and even
in my grief I could not help noticing its elabo
rate finish, solid mahogany, trimmed with velvet,
with a silver plate, his name and escutcheon
beauiifully engraved. I expressed my surprise
lhat these could be procured when the subject
had only been dead a few hours."
44 Major," said Mr. Beale, 44 lhat is easily
explained. We have an undertaker attached
10 this bouse. Cameron's coffin has been ready
twelve months."
44 What sir, had he a presentiment of death ?"
44 No, major, not at all. But in this ciiy the
march of disease is rapid'; our fevers kill in a
few hours ; mortification immediately ensues,
and it is the rule of my house, from July to Oc
tober, io measure every man for his coffin the
moment he regisiers his name. The chances
are ten to one he will be dead in a fortnight.?"
44 As l looked incredulous at this statement,
Mr. Beale continued ; 41 perceive you do not
credit this, major, but follow me, if you please,
and you shall be convinced.1"
,4He led the way to the attic of thehotiso, and
there, ranged around tn grim array, stood sixty
coffins of different finish and dimensions, one
for each boarder, with my own conspicuous
among them, my name and coat of arms bla
zoned upon it ?
44 Major," said the landlord, " your measure
was taken the moment of your arrival. You
announced your intention to slay three mornhs,
and while legisterring your name, my under
taker, who waiches the arrivals, and is very
adriot, applied his tape to you. I hope, sir.
you are pleased. Inspect the heraldry. It is
all right. We consult the .best authorities on
ihe British peerage."
44 I was too much shocked to reply imme
diately retreated to my room, packed up my
baggage, and rang for my bill, determined not
to sleep another night in a city where coffins
were made and probably graves dug, oeioio
hand. My bill was as follows Major n ,
io Beale's Hotel, Dr. -Four days noaru at
12 00 : Lights, $1 50 ; Cigars Si 00 ;
per 25 cents ; Wine, $20 00 ; Coffin, $15C
fa
150 00;
E E, $!80 75.
,4 1 descended to the bar in ho amiable mood;
threw down thirty-four dollars and seventy-five
cen', b'tft refused to pay for the coffin. I had
never". ordered such a thing ; on the contrary,
j is a liberty I should not excuse. 4 ery well
Major,' said Mr, Beale, with a low bow and
one of his blandest smiles, 44 just as Vou please:
t makes no difference. The coffin was mauo
n pursuance of a rule of my house. Had you
remained a we'ek, you would, most probably,
lave needed it, and ai we bury strangers be-
bie they are quite dead, had this coffin not been
ui
ade, your aristocratic body would have been
sent to the trench in a pine box ! Do not pay;
Major. It is quite unnecessary. But your
coat of arms, the escutcheon of the noble house
of H 1, is on the coffin, and the first
pauper that dies shall be buried in it."
44 This was too much for my ancestral pride;
I threw down the sovereigns, made a bonfire
of the coffiin, and the same evening hired a
baige to carry me from a city were such dred
ful customs prevailed. Imperative business
continued Major, brought me to New" Orleansj
a few days ago. By a singular sort of fascina
tion, I was drawn to the same Hotel from which
I fled thirty years ago ; and by strange coin
cidence, my stay is of the same duration. (I
leave this evening) and my bill is about the
same."
4How Major," I exclaimed has Murry charged
you for a coffin ?"
44 No, sir, not exactly that it occtued in this
way. While registering my name, I felt some
one touch me on ihe shoulder, as I felt it thirty
years before. Indignant that ihe same trick
should be played on me a second lime, I
wheeled, and at one blow knocked the man
down, and placed my foot upon his breast.
The mistake was promptly explained. It was
an attendant of the hotel in lhe act of brushing
tho dust off my coat. I felt much chagrinedj
and ihe least I could do was to ask the poor
fellow's pardon, and insist on his accepting the
same amount that I had paid for my coffin oil &
former occasion.
44 Saying this the servant shook my hand
and departed. Curiosity led me to visit the"
attic, but the rule ofthe house has been changed,
and instead of coffins I found long rows of
Sherry, Maderia, Port. Cognac, Holland, Old
Jamaica and Irish Whiskey, in boitles and
Demijohns covered with cobwebs, like old
monks tn the dark gowns, which Murrey here
holds for his guest.
The ITKormon and the Germam
The following incident, which is said to have"
occurred in Louisiana, was related to die wri
ier by an old Methodist Itinerant who had trav
elled in that country at a very early day :
A Mormon elder, one of Joe Smith's thorough
bred disciples, engaged in his peregrinations
over the southern portion of our country, found
himself in a neighborhood, where the people,
drawn out by any thing that carried novelty upoti
its face, were willing io go out and listen to him
every day for a week. Among them was an
elderly, venerable German, whose eyes flashed
keenly from ihe walls of chaffy cheeks and
heavy brows, bespoke that no sluggard mind
slept there only half awake. Ho was the lea
der of the Methodist class in the neighborhood.
Every time the Mormon would hold forth his
enlightened speculations, like many others in
divinity, he would in the most pompous man
ner'possible, call for any questions that any
might ask any objections io anything he ad
vanced and as a further trick upon his aud
itors, would chalange any one, he cared not
ho. to controvert any position he had assum
ed, knowing very well ihat there was no person
anywhere about him who would with any like'
lihuod at all, think of accepting it ; and after
he had finished his lecture, reiterating his call,
he would add, that if there was any passage
iu Scripture at all, which his hearers did not
understand in his theory, he would gladly ex
plain it to them.
Af.er he had been there about a week, the
old German became heartily tired of him, and
concluded to try his hand upon him ; so in the
morning, after the people had assembled, and
before the Mormon had begun his lecture, he
rose and addressed the Mormon thus :
4 If I dush understand you, you dush vant
any of us to aok you any questions 'bout vat
you ses.' "
4Yes certainly ; any questions you wish to?
propoundj I will answer wnh great pleasure.
Veil, if I understands you right you ses you
dush believe in languages and the interpretation
of languages.'
. 'Yes, certainly.'
'Also in dreams, and de interpretation of
dreams.'
Just so ; so far you underatnd me pefecily
sir.
4Vell, den, I had a dream last night vill you
be so kind as to intarprot it for me an' my
neighbors, if I vill tell it to you ?'
'Certainly, sir ; I will give you the exact in
terpretation : and I am sure I will be enabled by
it io convince you all fully.
Veil, my neighbors,' said the t3erman, turn-"
ing round and facing the congregation 'yout
musht all listen good to de dream, and see if
he dush give a good inierpretation-
'Vell, I dream last night dat I vash very
sick ; and at last 1 vaah so sick dat 1 dlot.
An ven I diet, I goes avay off, very far ; ah ven
I did go a grbat vays, I come to de gate of
heaven, an ven I got dare, 1 did knock ; den
Cabril, from do inside, ses, 'Who comes dere l'
1 told him 'Vat dush you vani ?' 1 told-him
1 vants to come in. 'You ish not gute enough.
'Veil den, vol must I do if 1 cannot tome Jn
here?' 'You see avay, off yonter ish te gate
of hell, You go dere and knork; and dey
must let you in dere.' So 1 goes away off, till
1 come to de gate of hell and ven I gets dena,
I dush knock at de gate. 'Who comes deej';
ses one inside. 1 told him. 'Vat dnerYyou
vant?' 'I vants to coma in.' 'Veil, den, lvTlf
see vat Peelzebub ses about it So he goes avay
off into hell, to see Peelzebub. After avile he
comes back, and 1 ses. 'Vat did Peelzebub say ?
Peelzebub ses you cannot come in.' 4 Vat for?
(being quite excited in his tone of voice at the
thoughts of being so pertinaciously denied an en
trance,) ' vat for I cannot come in V ' Peelzebub
ses he expects Chue Smith an all his company- in. .
a few days, an ve vill be crowded out ?
The uproarous laughter which followed can
better be tmmagined than described. Suffice it to
say, the Mormon mysteriously disappeared, some
said through the back window, befme Uenoo wail .
Vestorcd, and-baa never been heart of since,