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The whole art ov Government consists in the art of being honest. Jefferson.
3 t
VOL 8.
STRO DDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 2,' 1847.
No. X10.
m
published by Theodore Sehoch.
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IC? All IctteiTS addressed to the Editor must be post-paid.
.TOI5 PRIIVXIIVG.
flaring a general assortment of large, elegant, plain and orna
mental Type, we arc prepared to execute every
description of
i a
'Cards, Circulars, Bill Heads, Motes,
Blank Receipts,
JUSTICES, LEGAL AND OTHER
BLANKS,
PAMPHLETS, &c.
Printed with neatness ahd despatch, on reasonable terms,
AT THE OFFICE OF THE
Jeffersonian Republican.
The following lines were written some years
Miicc by the late Col. Hardin, while in Wash
ington City, and enclosed in a letter to his wife.
They arc replete with the. most touching elo
quence :
Bury me not when I am dead,
Amidst the city's glare
"Where thoughtless, careless mortals tread,
And wealth and misery are wed ;
Oh ! bury me not there.
Bury me not, when I'm no more,
Hicli on a mountain bare
Where nought but eagles o'er it soar
And storms and tempests round it roar;
Oh ! burry me not there.
Bury mo not, when I'm at rest, , -
Where martial pennons glare . , .
For empty show and gorgeous rest .5
Can never sooth an icy breast ;
Then bury me not there; :
s -" '
Buty me not, when I shall sleep; ' '
By ocean's rocky lair ;
Where winds and waves their vigiUtkeep,
And ever moans the restless deep
Oh ! bury me not there.
Bur' me not when I am gone,
In boundless prairies, where
The buried dead are left alone,
Unmarked except by a cold grave stone
Oh ! burry me not there.
But bury me, when I shall dip,
'Midst woods and flowers rare ;
When o'er my grave the winds may sigh,
The birds may sing, and friends are nigh,
Oh ! then bury me there.
On seeing a poetical youth from the country
pay fifty dollars for a galvanized watch, at a
mock-auction establishment in New York, a
correspondent of the Bosten Post thus writes:
Peter, spare that bard,
Touch not a single dime ;
In youth he labored hard,
And now he's in his prime.
He hoed his father's corn.
He carried the grist to mill ;
He worked both night and morn
Don't touch a single mill.
You pocket up his pewter,
Look pious as a monk ;
Pity he was 'nt cuter,
O ! wicked Peter Punk !
You cannot long 20 free, f
You worthless, lazy cheater ;
Some day you'll punished be.
As sure 's your name is Peter.'
Some agent of Old Nick's
Will lake you in his junk
Then row you o'er the Styx,
And roast you, Peter Funk.
Medicine for Hogs.
The American Farmer furnishes the follow
ing: When your hogs get sick, you know not
of what, give them ears of corn, firs.1 dipped in
tar and then rolled in sulpur. It is ten 10 one
that it arrests the disease and resioroa ihe pig
to perfect health.
Cure for Use Gout. .
First pick a handkerchief from the pocket of
an old maid of fifty years, who never had-a wish
to ehange her condition ; 2, wash it three times
in an honest miller's pomTj 3, dry it on a par
ti's hedge that was never covetous ; 4, send
Jt to a ctoctor'shop that never killed a patient ;
5, maik it with. a lawyers ink who never chea
.td a clisrn ; G, apply it to the parf affected.
Amusing Official Correspondence.
The Spirit of ihe Times furnishes the follow
ing as genuine letters, which passed between
the Post Master General and one of his depu
ties in Mississippi. We all recollect the fate
of a Post Master; who, on answering the offi
cial inquiry " Does the Tombigbee river run
up to your place ?" gave answer that it " didn't
run' up at all" and forthwith was officially in
formed that the Department had no longer any
demand for his services. We trust the witty
occupant in Mississippi will meet with no such
fate.
Auditors Office for P. O. Department.
June 9th, 1847.
Sir : Upon a general revision of thq ac
counts of this Department for many years back,
with a view to the correction of such errors and
omissions as may have occurred in the keeping
and settlement thereof, I find an unadjusted bal
ance against W G 1, Esq., for
merly Postmaster at M-
-, Missisippi ; on
his account from the 3d quarter of 1820 to the
4th quarter of 182G, both inclusive, amounting
to Six Dollars and Ninety-five Cents. This
balance seems to have been wholly overlooked
and no steps appear to have been taken to bring
it to his notice in order to its collection.
In pursuance of the object above indicated,
I have to request that in the event Mr. G 1
yet resides near your office you will immedi
ately apprize him of the existence of this bal
ance, and ascertain whether he will be prepar
ed to discharge it upon the issuance of a draft
therefor.
If he has moved away, such information as
vou can possibly obtain as to his present place
of residence, and his pecuniary circumstances,
1 will thank you to communicate : or, if de
ceased, the names of his representatives (exec
utors or administrators,) their place of residence
and the condition of ihe estate.
Your early and prompt attention to this is
respectfully invoked.
1 am Sir, your obedient servant,
, Auditor. i
To , Esq. Post Mastea at M a, Miss, j
Post Office, M a, Miss. 1
July th, 1847.
- , Esq. Auditor P. O. Depm't.
Sir: Your letter of the 9th ult. is received.
In it you are pleased to inform me, that in your
antiquarian researches among the time horored
records of the Post Office Department, you fincl
an unadjusted balance against W G 1,
formerly Post Master at this place, of $6 95,
which occurred somewhere about a quarter of
century ago, and requesting such information
from me as might put you in a way of collect
ing it. On the first perusal of your lette'r, I
was half induced to take offence at you for
troubling an official dignitary like myself with
so small an affair ; but on reflection, and see
ing that you " respectfully invoked" my attention
10 the subject, I concluded to bend from my
" pride of place," and in greatest condecension
to answer you.
You say that " this balance seems to have
been wholly overlooked." To one who is ac
quainted with the almost proverbial sharpness
of Uncle Sam in looking after dimes, it would
seem strange that he should have overlooked
this small " balance ; but when wo take into
consideration how much time the old gentle
man has been obliged to Bpend of late years in
looking out for the big rogues, the magnincent
absquatulators who have. " levanted" with his
funds by thousands, we cannot wonder that
this littfe sum of $G S)5 should have escaped
his watchful eye. But to the subject.
On. inquiry I learn that twenty years ago,
and for some time previous, W G 1 re
sided at this place, and during a part of the time
of His residence here held the office of Post
Master. He was also called by the Military
title of Colonel or Major, or some such handle
to his name, indicating that he was a sort of
" commander-in-chief" of this place, and for
aught that I know he might have been " admi
ral of the navy." About the time that he gave
up the Post Office, he moved off, as it is said, to
the northern part of this Slate, into what was
then called " the Indian country," but to what
particular part I cannot learn, where he depar
ted this life for " kingdom come" some dozen
or fifteen years ago. This is about all I can
tell you of the personal history of Mr. G 1,
ahd I believe that I might have given you the
Kiim and substance ()! it 111 tWO WOrdS : U
M www
Hum fuit. The people here say that he was a
very clever fellow perfectly honest when he
had the means, and that he would not have died
leaving this small balance due to his patron,
Uncle Samuel, if he had had " the change"
wherewith to liquidate ii ; and I therefore sin
cerely hope that his ghost may not bo disturb
ed by the dun which you sent me.
As to IVlr. G l'a " present place of resi
dence," T can only say ihat ii cannot be near
here, as it is well known thai M a is a hun
dred miles from any place ; and allow me
moreover ip say, that I regard the question of
his present residence a private personal matter
of hia own, into which the inquisitive are not
al liberty to piy, even for official purposes.
As'I am riot infoimd what were his prospect
for aiioiher wd.'ldl' cari mu!ie: no conjecture a
to his present whereabouts ; but it becomes us
all to indulge the hope that he has gone to. where
Po.stj Office duns " cease from troubling," and
where defaulting Post Masters " are at rest."
I. do not learn whether or not there are any
" executors or-administrators" of his estate, but
I am induced to think that there are none, a9 I
am informed that he died most triumphantly
poort On the wholo I should think that, the
chance of collecting this small balance of 6,95
of Mr. G 1 or his estate is rather slim,, and
would advise you to mark it " desperate' on
your books, and think no moreabout.it. ' If the
boys in the Post Office Department can?t. have
a spree until they can pay it with this money,
I very much fear that thoy will have to remain
sober for a long- lime to come.
I believe that I have now answered your let
ter as fully as my knowledge of the matter con
tained in it will admit. If I omitted any thing,
or if you should think of any thing further, re
lative to the mutter, about which you may wish
to enquire, a respectful invocation of my atten
tion lo it will be met with a suitable response
on my part.
I am, Sir, very respectfully, your obedient
servant, , P. M.
Purchased substitutes for Torture
and Death.
In what country could wretches.be found,
who, for a small payment, would allow them
selves to be hung on a hook made sharp, to be
inserted in the flesh of their backs; and to be
whirled rapidly about in the air? Every spring,
at onOxol" the religious festivals, there are men
who willingly undergo lhis torture, being paid
by rich hypocritqs, who hope to save their
souls by these vicarious mortifications; and they
go through without a groan, some of them even
singing. After being cured of their wounds,
they are ready to undergo the same process the
following year. Yet-they are not martyrs,
cheered under their sufferings by the prospect
of heavenly beautitude. They know perfectly
well that their reward will be ten pounds.
The Chinese go still further. They not only
torture themselves by deputy, but sometimes
suffer decapitation in the same commodious
maimer. A. rich man, condemned lo jose his
head, is allowed to find a substitute, who shall
suffer in his stead, and he finds one ! Nor is
it merely decapitation which .the man has to
undergo, but ;he is usually tortured before he
receives the final blow. A man sells himself
in China to the executioner to find bread for, his
family, just as in Europe he devotes- himself to
the chances of war. What must be the love
of such a man for his family, or the obtuseness
of his physical sensibilities ? The one and the
other are to us alike incomprehensible.
Jacquemout'a Yoyage.dans 1' lude.
The Ladies of Lima.
Far superior to ihe men, both physically and
intellectually, are the .women of Lima. Na-:
lure has lavishly endowed them, with many of
her choicest gifts. In figure th'ey .are usually
slender and rather tall, and th'ey ,are especially
remarkable for. their elegantlyform.ed feet.
Their faces, from which the glowing breath of
the tropics banish every trace of bloorp, are ani
mated by large, bright, dark eyes. Their fea
tures are pleasing, the nose being well formed,
though in general not small, the mouth invaria
bly adorned with two rows of brilliant white
teeih, (the women of Lima clean their, teeth
several limes a day with. the root called, raizr de
dientes, literally root for the teeth, of which
they keep a piece constantly in their pocket,)
and iHeir long black hair, arranged in plaits,
falls gracefully over their bosom and shoulders.
Add lo all lhis a captivating grace of gentleness
and amiability, and it will be readily admitted
that the Limena is a.noble specimen of female
loveliness. Von TschndVs Travels in Peru.
Creatures with Thousands of Eyes.
What would be thought of a quadruped whose
head, with the exception of the mouth ahd place
of juncture with ihe neck, was covered by two
enormous masses of eyes, numbering upwards of
. . . i
12,000 in each mass? I et such is the condition
of the organs of vision in the dragon-fly. In
the common bee the same stricture is not- less
apparent. The fiery eyes of many gadflies,
(Tabttni), which present vivid bands of purple
and green, are composed, of similar lenses, and
each eyo contains nearly seven thousand.-
The ant has fifty lenses; the housefly four thou
sand ; while above seventeen thousand have
been counted in the eye of a butterfly, and
more than twenty-five thousand in that of a
species of beetle.
Ballerson's Introduction to Zoology.
A yankee travelling .lately, put tip at a coun
try inn where a number of loungers were assem
bled telling large stories. After sitting some
time attentively listening to tueir iuuy, uo ouu
denly turned and asked them how much ihey
supposed ho had been offered for his dog, which
he had with him. They all started ; cuiibsity
was on tiptoe to know ; one guessed live dol
lars, another ten, another fifieen, until ihey had
exhausted their patience, when one of ihem
seriously asked how much he had been ottered
Not a cent, replied he,
Drowning.
. The following is from a letter 'b$' Admiral
Beaufort to Dr. WajLlaston, in the Memoirs
of Sir John Barrow, just published in Lon
don :
Many years ago, when I was a youngster
on board one of his Majesty's ships, in Ports
mouth harbor, after, sculling about in a very
small boat, I was endeavoring to fasten her
alongside the ship to one of the scuttle-rings ;
in foolish eagerness I stepped upon the gun
wale, the boat of course upset, and 1 fell into
the water, and not knowing hpw to swim, all
my efforts to lay hold either of the boat or of
the floating sculls were fruilloss. The, trans
action had not been observed by the sentinel
on the gangway, and iherefore it was not Jill
the tide-had drifted me some distance astern of
the ship that a man in the foretop saw me
splashing in the .water, and gave the alarm.
The first lieut. instantly and gallantly jumped
overboard, the carpenter followed his example,
and the gunner hastened into a boat and pulled
after them.
" With ihe violent but vain attempts to make
myself heard I had swallowed mucji. water. ;.l
was soon exhausted by my struggles, and before
any relief reached me 1 had sunk below the
surface ; all hope had fled, all exertion ceased,
and 1 felt that I was drowning.
" So far these, facts were either partially re
membered after my recovery, or supplied, by
those who had latterly witnessed the scene ;
for during ah interval of such agitation, a drown
ing person is loo much occupied in catching at
every passing straw, or tot) much absorbed by
alternate hope and despair, to mark the succes
sion of events very accurately. Not so, how
ever, with the facts which immediately ensued ;
my mind had then undergone the sudden revo
lution which appeared to you so .remarkable ;
and all the circumstances , of which are now as
vividly fresh in my memory as if they had oc
curred but yesterday. 1
" From the moment that all exertion had
ceased which I imagine was the immediate
consequence o(?vcomjlete suffocation a calm
feelmg of the most perfect tranquillity superse
ded the .-previous' .tumultuous sensationsit
might be calied apathy, certainly not resignation,
for drowning no longer appeared to be an evil
I no longer thought of bertig rescued, nor was
I in any bodily pain. On ihe contrary, .my
sensations were now of rather a pleasurable
cast, partaking ol thai, dull but contended sort
of feeling which precedes the sleep produced
by fatigue. , Though the senses were thus dead
ened, not so the mind ; its activity seemed to
be invigorated, in a ratio which defies all de
scription for thought rose after thought with a
rapidity of succession that is not only indescri
bable, but probably inconceivable, by any, one
wro has not himsell been in a similar .situation.
The course of those thoughts I can even now
in a preat measure retrace the event which
had just taken place the awkwardness that
had produced it the bustle itrhust have occa
sioned (for I had observed 2 persons jump from
the chains) the effect it would have on a most
affectionate father the manner in jwhich. he
would disclose it to the rest of the family and a
thousand other circumstances minutely associa
ted with homo, were the first series of reflections
that occurred. They look then a wider, range
our last cruise--a former voyage, and ship
wreck my,. school the progress I had. made
there, and the time I had misspent and even!
a)l my boyish pursuits and adventures. Thus
travelling backwards, every passed incident of
my life seemed to glance across my recollec
tion in retrograde succession ; not, however, in
mere outline, as here :staied, but the picture
filled up with every minule and collateral fea
ture ; in short, the whole period of my exis
tence seemed to bo placed before ine in a kind
of panoramic review, and each act of it seemed
to be accompanied by a consciousness of right
or wrong, or by some reflection on its.. cause or
its consequences ; indeed, many trifling events1
which had been long forgotten then crqwded
imp my imagination, and with the character of
recent familiarity.
" May not lhis bo some indication of the al
most infinite power of memory with which we
may awaken in another world, and thus be com
pelled to contemplate our past li ves 1 Or might
it not in some degree warrant ihe inference that
deaih is. only a chango or modification of our
existence, in which there is no real pause or
interruption 1 But, however that may be, dne
circumstance was highly remaikable ; that the,
innumerable ideas which flashed ituo my mind
were all retrospective : yet I had been religi
ously brought up ; my hopes and fears of the
next world had lost nothing of their early
strength, and at any other period intense inter
est and awful anxiety would have beeri excited
by the mere probability that I was on the thres
hold of eternity ; yet at that inexplicable mo
ment, when I had a full conviction ihat I had
already crossed that threshold, not a single
thought wandered into ihe futureI was wrapt
entirely in the past.
"The length oftitno that wns occupied by
this defuge of ideas, or rather the shortness of
time into which ihey were condensed, 1 cannot
now stale with precision, yet certainly two
minutes-could not have elapsed from. the. rno-j
meni of suffocation to thai of my being hauled
up. . . T i i
" The strength of the fiuod tide made, .it ex,
pedient to pull the boat at once io another htp,
where I underwent the usudl vulgar process of
emptying the water by lotting my h(?cd Unyq
downwards, then bleeding, chafing, and. even'
adtninistering.git; .but my submersion had bemt
really so brief, that, according, id the account
of the lookers on, I was very quickly resiore.1
to animation .
" My Teeligns while life was returning: were
the reverse in every point of those which havtj
been described above.- One single but confuted
idea a mise rable belief ihat, I was drowning
dwelt upon my mind, instead of ihe multitude,
of clear and definite ideas which had recently
rushed through it ; a helpless-anxiety, a kind
of cdntihuous nightmare seemed to press heavily
on every sense, and lo prevent the fdnmuioin.uf
any one distinct .thought., and it was with diffi
culty that I became cominced that I was. real
ly alive. Again, instead of being absolutely free
from all bodily pain, as in my drowning state, I
was now tortured by pain all ove,r xue ; and
though 1 hate beert sinco wounded in several
places, and .have often submitted to severe sur
gical discipline, yet my sufferings were at. thai
time far greater ; at least, in general, distress,
On one occasion I was shot in the lungs arid
afierlying on the deck at night for .some, hour.!
bleeding from other wounds, 1 at length. fainted.
Now, as I felt sure that ihe wound iu th.e I tings
was mortal, it will appear obvious that he over
whelming sensation which accompanies faint
ing oniht have, produced a perfect conviction
ihat L was then in the act of dying. - Yet hoth
ing.in the least resembling the operations, of iny
mind when drowning then took placp;.'a:id when
I began to. recover, 1 returned to a clear con
ception my real stale."
Iron Carriage Wheels.
The Salem, N. J. Standard says that a car
riage wheel entirely of iron, and conbtrucied
upon purely scientific principles, is now being
exhibited al Mr. Mulford's Hotel in Salem. It
was patented by Ira Holmes of New York
State, and is called the " Doubled Dished Me
tallic Carriage Wheel." There is a double rov
ofslim iron spokes with counter sunk heads,
diverging alternately from the outer and iniiet
rim of ihe hub 1b the felloe,, where they are al
so counte.r sunk, and effectually fastenl'ii---thB
spokes -'thus drawing both ways, and throwing
as much of the weighi of the carriage ;updh he
upper as the lower part of ihe wheel.. The prin
ciple is that of an arch. Should the .iron fel
loe break, which.is . scarcely possible ? the wheel
under, ordinary circumstances could not be made
to fall to pieces. The burthen, which a very
slight wheel thus constructed is capable of
bearing is immense, if we may credit the cal
culations of Professor Comstock. H has an
exceedingly light and graceful appearance, is
not liable to get out of order., and can be pur
chased at about half the cost of the ordinary
wooden wheel.
A Tough Story of a Tough Fair oi
Breeches.
The Spirit of ihe Times relates a story told
by an old man, who has told it so often that h'o
now religiously believes ii to be truo' : " When
I lived in Maine," said the old man, i helped
break up; a. ne.w piece of ground ; we got the
wood off in. the winter, and arly in the .spring
wc begun to think of ploughing on't. h was
so consarned rocky thai wo had to got forty
yokejof oxen to one plough" we (lid, fa'ilh
and I held that plough for .more than a week
I. thought I should die. It e'en a'most killed
mc, 1 van. Why one,day I was holden', and
the plough hit a stump, which measured just
nine foot and a half through it--hard and so'uitd
while oak. The plough split it, and 1 was go1
ing straight through the stump, when 1 hap
pened to think, ii mighl snap iogeih.gr again, so
I just threw .my feet out, and I had no sooner
done this, than ii snapped together, taking a
smart hold of the seat of my pantaloons. Of
course, I was tight, but 1 held on to lie plough
handfos, and though iho toambters did all ihey
could, thai team of eighty oxen couldn't tear
my pantaloons nor cause me to let go my 'grip.
At last though, after letting the cattle breathe,
they gave another strong pull altogether, and
the old stump came out about ijic qiikkVsi ; u
had monstrous long toots loo, let tnis tt-il yu.
My wife made tho cloth for, ihmn painaKious,
and I haint worn any other kind tuco."
Wot Frightened Yet.
Wo copy tne following from the record of
marriages in the Wesleyan of July 28th:--"Ou
the I6lh irist., at ihe Centenary Chapel-, York,
by the Rev. C. Chooiman, Mr. Thomas Wise
man, of Fulton, late coachmaker of York, to
Mrs. Willah, of that ciiy. Th'e bridegroom has
now been married five times, is in his 83th
year, and made his own coflin 27 years ago....
The happy bride has had four husbands, and is
about 56." .
il 9
I