.,-ji I'iinimr mmtj
The whole art ok Government consists in the art of being honest. Jefferson.
VOL 6.
PRINTED AND PUBLISHED JJY
SCIIOCII & SPJ2RIWG.
TERMS-Two pilars per annum In advance Two dollars
aal a quarter, half ycaAy-and if not paid before the end of
Hie year, Two dollars and a half. Those who receive their
pmers by a carrier or stage drivers emploved by the proprie
J0rs, will be charged 37 1-2 cts. per year, extra
X, papers discontinued until all arrearages are paid, except
at the option of the Editors. 1 1
iDW.lvertisemcnts not exceeding one square (sixteen lines)
ml) be inserted three weeks for one dollar: twenty-live cents
f,)r iverv subsequent insertion : larger ones in proportion. A
tiDonl discount will be made to yearly advertisers
y.i o -.-. w uiu uuuur? must oc post paid.
To all Coiaccrticd.
We would call the attention of some of our
subscribers, and especially certain Post Mas
ters, to the following reasonable, and well set
tled rules of Law in relation to publishers, to
ihe patrons of newspapers.
the law of newspapers.
1. Subscribers who do not gie express 710
iicc to the contrary, are considered as wishing
io continue their subscriptions.
2. If subscribers order the discontinuance of
their papers, the publishers may continue to
send them till all arrearages are paid.
3. If subscribers neglect or refuse to take
dieir papers from the offices to which they are
directed, they are held responsible til they
line settled their bill, and ordered :heir papers
discontinued.
4. If subscribers remove to other places with
out informing the publishers, and their piper is
tent to the former direction, they are held re
sponsible. 5. The courts have decided thai refusing to
lake a newspaper or periodical from the office,
or removing and leaving it uncalled for, is "pri
ma facie" evidence of intentional fraud.
From the New York Tribune.
Shadows.
Life! what art thou but a shadow,
Fleeting as the Autumn wind !
As thou cam'st, so thou departest,
Leaving Hope and Love behind.
Like a stream whose placid current
Mirrors in its tranquil flow,
Tree and shrub and tuneful fountain
In thy brighter hours art thou.
But when angry storm-clouds hover
O'er thy late unruffled breast
So thy pleasures, dimmed by sorrows,
Only for a season last !
Yet though darkness palls the Future,
And the Present gloomy be,
There 's a haven of rest unending
Far beyond Life's troubled sea !
Robert F. Greelev.
Affecting Stanzas.
Ureathes there a man with soul so dead,
Who never to himself hath said,
When he had heedless hit his head,
" Thunder !"
Or who, when shaving in morning cold,
Haih gashed his chin with razor old, .
And could this powerful word withhold,
" Thunder !"
Or who, on ice or slippery stone,
Hath fallen and jarred his "crazy bone," ,
And not exclaimed with angry tone .
" Thunder !"
When one's suspenders give away,
While dancing brisk with ladies gay, - -Where
is the man that can help but say
"Thunder!" --
Tis a convenient interjection,
To use at news of lost election,
Depending' on the question Textan
"Thunder!"
Or when one's notes or bills fall due, t
And banks are hard, and won't renew,
In saying this there's comfort true -'
"Thunder!"
Or when one's bent on writing 'rhymes,
And tries in vain a. hundred. times,
How well this wordwith any chimes--' -
"Thunder J"
In short, when things have gone past bearing,
'ill into threads one's patience wearing,
Say this,-'tis belter than swearing
"Thunder!"
Eiblica! Curiosity.
The 2 1st verse of Ezra, chapter 7, contains
cry letter of the alphabet, andis the only one
hs. tliiinouished:-"-And 1, even i, Artaxerxes
1 ii Kino, do make a decree to all the treasures
"Inch are beyond the her, iliat what to ever
K.ra the Priest, tlip scribe iof the ,la w,qf the
Oud of Heaven shall require 'of.yyiJ,' it shall be.
tl'tue -jicedtly."
STROUDSB URG; MONROE COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, MARCH
The Flight off Captain Crabtree.
BY HAWSER MARTINGALE.
Captain Ebenezer Simcox was a dapper lit
tle fellow, who had an exalted opinion of his
own merits and good looks, and who took great
pleasure in decorating his person, especially
when about to enter into the company of the
ladies. He was a little choleric in his temper,
but as smart as a steel trap, and on shore al
ways looked as nice as a new pin, or as if he
had just been taken out of a bandbox marked
'this side up with care.'
oaptam simcox once commanded the Ship
Spouter, of Providence, on a voyage to Copen
hagen. One evening, at a patty, he formed an
acquaintance with an odd-looking German no
bleman who seemed quiie pleas-ed with the con
versation and bearing ofthe gentlemanly Yan
kee. A few days afterwards, his friend, the
American Consul, put in his hands 3 note, writ
ten on embossed gilt edge paper, (not so com
mon in those days as now,) with armorial bear
ings on the seal. What is in the wind now V
exclaimed the Yankee, with a look of surprise,
as he took off his kid gloves and opened the
note.
An invitation from Count WogonstrofTsky to
dine, I expect,' replied the worthy Consul.
I believe it is,' remarked Simcox, with a
smile, which was soon changed iiTto a terrible
frown as he read these words:
Count Wogonstroffaky's compliments to
Captain Ebenezer Simcox, Esq., and would be
much happy to be honored with his company
to dinner on Wednesday next at six o'clock in
the evening.
N. B. It is expected that Captain Simcox
will not make his appearance at the table with
out his shirt as ladies will be present. A
dicky alone will not do.'
It is difficult to conceive the rage which
burned within the bosom of Captain Simcox, on
reading this letter. Although a pigmy in size,
he was a giant in spirit
' What does the ras-
cal mean?' said he with a grin of defiance
Dicky, indeed ! I will go forth and pull the
fellow's nose in the public Gardens. Even the
presence of the king himself shall not screen j
him from the chastisement he deserves.' Say- j
ing this, the redoubtable Simcox seized his
cane, a ratan switch, with a convulsive grasp,
and was about to sally forth in quest of Count
WogonstrofTsky.
The Consul, with a quiet smile, saw the ex
citing effect which was produced by the harm-
less looking missive. 'Stop,' said he, as he; head, and darted up the companion way, Cap
gentlv laid his hand on the arm of his friend ,a'n Crablree's countenance kindled with a
'What is the matter?'
' The scoundrql !' sputtered the furious Yan-
kee ' the sour-croui-eaiing, gin-drinking lies- jy ofthe old Syracusan sage, when he untied
sian, sends me an invitation to dinner, and says' a knotty problem in mathematics and he has
that as ladies will be present, I must nut come '"ed to avail himself of the wise thought
without my shirt! Let me go, my friend, I j which had just popped itself into his noddle,
beg of you I long to be at him. I'll learn him Now Captain Crabtree had a very neat dickey
to play off his jokes" on a Yankee. Dickey,
indeed!'
4 But there is no occasion to hurry,' added
the Consul, after indulgino in a heartv lauoh,!
4 you can as well give him his lesson half an
hour hence as now. I have a little Mory to
tell you, which may possibly account for the
Count's singular message which has so very
naturally excited your choler. After you have
heard what 1 have to .say, if you are determined
to give the Count a thrashing, why, peg away,
that's all.'
Captain Simcox with a dogged air, turned
round, looked in his friend's face, which was
lighted up by a meaning smile, and threw him
self on an ottoman, saying 'You are right
there is no hurry I can flog the rascal as well
an hour hence as now so heave ahead, my
fine fellow, as there is no time to be hist. Bui
don't think to change my purpose for a terri
ble flogging I will give him as suro as '
Poh, my dear fellow, don?i make rash reso
lutions. The Count is a good fellow enough,
and has not the least idea of insulting.'
What! ask a man to join his dinner party,
and insinuate that he never wears a shin, and
yet intend no insult ! The idea is preposter
ous;' and the little man brought his fists down
upon the table which was conveniently near,
with a violence that threatened to demolish it !
. 4-Count WogonstrofTsky,' resumed the Con
sul, without seeming 10 notice the fury of ihe
Yankee, ' is a German noble, of great wealth,
and is distinguished for his hospitaliiy to stran
gers. He has always admired the characier of
the Americans, and for years after he located
himself in this citv was fond of forming ac
quaintances with respectable and intelligent
Yankees, and inviting thm to his house, and
his parlies, where they always found a largo
and select company, and good entertainment.
About a year ago, a large American ship, the
Backwoodsman, of Boston, arrived here from
Pernambuco, after a long passage of twenty
five days. The Count fell in with the Capiam,
whose name was Crabiree, soon after the ship
was hauled into the inner harbor. He found
him an honest, open-hearted sailor, liked him,
and invited him to dine with him that same af
ternoon, which Crabiree unthinkingly accepted.
He got through his business with all possible
despatch, and hurried on board the ship to
adorn and beautify his person for the dinner
part)'
he entered his stale room, and in a few
minutes his gruff voice was heatd calling for
the steward. That important functionary soon
opened the door of the state room, and thrust
within it his sable visage.
"Steward!' exclaimed the skipper with a
tremulous accent, indicating alarm, ' find me a
clean shirt !'
' Clean shirls all gone, sare.'
' All gone ? What do. you mean? Get me
a shirt at once and don't stand grinning there.'
' Your last clean shirt, massa captain, you
put on yesterday morning, when you went
ashore, and that would hardly keep together, it
was so old, and all the others have gone to be
washed.'
' Here's a pretty predicament,' growled Crab
tree, 'invited out to dinner and can't go for
want of a shirt ! Oh ! it is too bad. Steward,
what shall I do V
' Belter wear the old one, sare,' suggested
the steward.
' Thai's out of the question, Snowball,' re-
plied Crabtree, 'I found it unseaworthy when
1 took it off and threw it out of the cabin win
dow.' Ah !' said blackey, ' thai' very bad. I
peck I shall have to lend you one of my check
shirts that I scrubbed nice and clean in the salt
water 'tother day.'
' Be off, you stupid blockhead. You lend mc
a checked shin ! Away with you on deck;'
and as the steward, with a broad grin over
spreading the whole of his face, successfully
dodged a Bowditch's Epitome' aimed at his
gleam of satisfaction. 1 1 have it !' said he 4 1
have it!' he repeated, with all the enthusiastic
11 bis trunk. A dickey, as every one knows,'
J is or was, a short bosom, with a handsome col- j
iar attached, and would serve on a pinch, as a
vcy good apology for a shirt indeed, dandies
in losc days ofien dispensed with a shirt for
weeks and months together. Crabtree, with a
degree of presence of mind and fruiifulness in
expedients, which were characteristic of thai
worthy seaman, resolved to fret himself no lun
ger for the absent shirt, but to make the dickey
do double duty on the important occasiou.
He arrayed himself accordingly, looked in
his glass, and admired his appearance. lie
felt cool and comfortable too and that is some
thing gained on a sultry day in July. He even
began to entertain the idea of discarding alto
gether, as superfluous, that article of dress'
which he had hitherto considered indispensa
ble, especially when in full dress. In the
meantime, as he had a strange habit of throwing
off his coat when oppressed with hca', without
much regard to his company or circumstances,
he took the precaution to prevent such an awk
ward occurrence on the present occasion, by
stitching his coat and black velvet vest together.
At the appointed hour, C;ip'ain Crabtree en
tered the mansion of the German nobleman,
where he was received with marked courtesy
by the Count, and gentlemen, principally natives
of Denmark. Crabtree understood no language
but his moiher tongue, but by dint of a tolerable
assurance and emphatic gestures he got along
tolerably well. Dinner passed off and 'the
1846.
wine, as is usual abroad, circulated freely.
Crabiree found himself Bomewhat in a medita
ting mood, and soon ceased to remember the
peculiarity of his costume.
When dinner was over, he wa9 challenged
by a lady to play a game of billiards. The
greater part of the company adjourned to the
billiard room to be witness of the game and
the Captain, afier a few unsuccessful strokes
with his cue, involuntarily essayed to throw off
his coat, declaring that he could never play
with heavy garment on. The coat clung with
a sort of fraternal affection to the vest, but the
impetuous sailor could not take the hint or brook
delay. Another desperate effort, a couple of
billions gave way, and the coat and vest, being
unwilling to part company, were both stripped
off and thrown triumphantly on a chair! when
Io ! the Captain stood in the midst of the as
sembly, grasping his cue with a business-like
j air, and arrayed as if for a pugilistic contest in
the prize ring !
A scream from the ladies, and some emphat
ic exclamations from the gentlemen, first re
minded the fearful sailor that something was
wrong. He glanced at his bare arms, then
caught a view of his whole person in a large j
mirror, and the truth rushed upon his mind like
a flash of lightning. The dickey was doing all
it could to supply the place of a more ample
garment, but it was woefully deficient in di-mensions-and
to the astonished Captain seemed
shrunk to half its usual size !
Captain Crabtree dropped his cue, gave a
sort of convulsive jump, which would do credit
to a harlequin vaulter, uttered a loud demi-sav-age
salt water howl, which was heard a mile
off, and scampered down stairs into the street,
regardless of the blushes of the ladies, or the
storm of hisses and revelings from the scandal
ized gentlemen. He stopped not but flew thro'
the streets, looking like a frightened madman,
while the wandering populace shouted and
clapped their hands, or sprang aside to give a
fair field for his race. This only added to his
speed, and in a few minutes he was strongly
moored in his slate room, on board his good
ship, with the door closed behind him, and se
curely bolted. The flight of Captain Crabtree
was a theme of story and soug for months af
terwards and those who witnessed it, will
never forget it until their dying day.
As for Count WogonstrofTsky, he hardly
knew what to make of it at first, he was dis
posed to resent it as a deliberate affront and
sent Crabtree a polite and pressing invitation to
meet him in the Deer Park, to settle the affair
with pistols. An explanation however, dis
armed the good hearted German of his wrath,
and provoked his mirth and -he dearly loves to
tell the story to every stranger who visits his
house. He formed a resolution at the time,
however, to be cautious how he invited 'old
salts' at his select parties in future and so-
lemnly declared that if he ever again asked a
Yankee ship-master to dine with him he would
caution to bring a shirt along with him ! You,
. my dear fellow, are the first Yankee whom he
has honored with an invitation since Captain
Crabtree's 'hegira.'
Such was the Consul's story. Simcox, whose
anger had been gradually oozing away at the
corners of his mouth, while he listened to the
adventure of Crabtree, laughed heartily at its
close and Count WogonstrofTsky was suffered
10 escape with a whole skin.
Tiie Monster Brewery.
Barclay's celebrated Brewery, ir. London,
covers an area of fifteen acres. It contains
conduits half a mile in length, railroads, hop
pers, steam engines, &c, enough to confuse
one. One hundred and eighty-seven horses,
each worth three hundred dollars, are constant
ly employed. One copper boiler will contain
4,200 barrels of beer. Thirty tons of coal are
consumed daily. The mall bins will contain
1 ,600,000 bushels, worth S2.500.000. Fifteen
hundred barrels of ale are made every day, and
sixty cats are kept to destroy mice. This es
tablishment does vastly more to deprive tho in
habitants of Great Britain and Ireland of food,
than "short crops," yet we hear much less com
plaint about it.
The whole of human virtue may be reducodt
to speaking -'the -truth always, anil doing giiotf
to others.
5,
No. 39
A Sunday 111 Itfexico.
Whatever may be the impression of a stran
ger in Mexico as to ihe gayeiy of the eity dur
ing the week days, though comparison in thu
particular may be much in favor of many cities
of Europe of equal size, yet no one can doubt,
that in extent, and variety, of diver-ion, and
dissipation, Mexico on Sunday, can more than
compete with the most festive of them. A
soon as you are awake, you are saluted with
the sound of military music, in which the Mex
icans profess to decided excellence. Regi
ments of soldiers assembled in the Piazza May
or, are reviewed, and on this day they exhibit
a neat and cleanly appearance, which is moro
than can be affirmed of them on anv other.
On thi3 day, the Cathedral is crowded with the
fashionable of the city. By far the greater pro
portion of thevisiters are of the fair sex ; an 1
there is here presented a display of beauty and
excellence which cannot fail 10 impress the
most insensible. Ii is a spectacle of great beau
ty to witness two or three thousand of the sex
adorned with the rich and picturoque mantilla,
in unaffected altitudes of devotion, mingling in
exquisite harmony their rich and melodious
voices with the military music, which is rever
berating through the 'long drawn aisle and fret
ted vault,' of this most gorgeous Cathedral.
The impression is one you will like to retain
forever.
The service over, you pass into the street,
where ever and anon a religious procession
crosses your path, accompanied with all ihe
parade thatNrich dresses, gilded images, and
gold and silver church furniture can afford.
The houses, too, are decorated, the inhabitants
exhibiting from their balconies the most costly
ornaments and dresses. All is bustle and ani
mation. At a corner of a great square are sus
pended huge placards on which the nature of
the day's amusements is depicted in every va
riety of colour. Here is a pictorial illustration
of the most prominent attractions at the great
theatre, which, in common with all the rest, is
open twice on this day. A little further on, is
a full length portrait Figaro, which draws your
attention to the fascinating allurements of the
opera. Tho bull-fights next solicit your no
tice, announcing the most terrific particulars.
Nor are the minor theatres behindhand in
presenting their attractions. Endless varieties
of other exhibitions put forth their claims. A
balloon ascension is advertised for the after
noon. One would suppose, too, that the old
Roman gladiatorial shows were revived, for at
one speciable is a contest between a man and
a bear. Cock-fights, dog-fights, and fandangos
are announced in every quarter of the city.
Horse-racing, the circus, jugglers, posture-masters,
tumblers, fire-eaters, monstrosities, con
certs, cafe-gardens, fencing matches, pigeon
shooting, gymnastic exercises, country excur
sions, balls graduated to every pocket, form but
a fraction of the entertainments to which the
day is devoted.
In the afternoon the public promenades are
thronged, and the long array of equipages, with
the rich and gay dresses of the senoras, is cal
culated to convey an impression of the wealth
and luxury of the city. In the evening, the
theatre presents a spectacle, which, probably,
but few theatres in the world can parallel.
The beauty, elegance, wealth, and luxury of
Mexico seemed concentrated into one brilliant
focus.
The finale of the day is generally wound up
by a splendid display of fire works and thus
concludes the Mexican Sunday, and in no oth
er part of the world, probably, is a Sunday so
spont not event in Italy. ir. O. Tropic.
Fresh Water.
Lake Erie has about thirty-five fathom! of
water above its lowest bed, though 11 U not of
ten more than twenty-five in depth. Lake St.
Clair is shallow, scarcely exceeding four fath
oms. Lakes Huron, Michigan and Superior,
aro, in places nine hundred feet deep, sinking
about three hundred feet below the level of the
ocean.
Epitaph ou a Tailor.
Here lies below a tailor dead,
His name was Edward Prim.
He cabbag'd buckram, cloth andjthtcad,
Till Satan cabbaged him. '
M