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The whole art of Government consists
m the art of BEING' honest. Jefferson.
VOL 6.
STROUDSBCJRGj MONROE COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 1845.
No. 15.
PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY
SCHOCII & S PEKING.
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To all Concerned.
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ters, to the following reasonable, and well set
tled rules of Law in relation to publishers, to
die patrons of newspapers.
THE LAW OF NEWSPAPERS.
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ent to the former direction, they are held re
soonMble. I
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take a newspaper or periodical from the office,
or removing and leaving it uncalled for, is "pri
nn facie" evidence of intentional fraud.
Sorrows of Sensibility.
BV A FACTORV GIRL.
Oh ! why was feelings finer sense
To a weak mortal given !
When at each step in life's dull path,
Some qniv'ring chord is riven.
The awil's deep gushing sympathy,
Meets no response on earth.
And dreams of Nature's inner life
Are rudely crushed at birth.
I wandered late, oppressed and sad,
Into a lonely wood,
Where only Zephyr's gentle sighs
Disturbed the solitude.
Methottght some hidden dryad lay
Where gorgeous leaves where allowed;
The trembling foliage fell: I gazed,
And forth there hopped a load !
Oh ! wearily I turned me then
And sought the mighty sea ;
W7hat solemn music then arose i
The sea nymphs called to me !
I spread my arms in eager haste,
And murmured, 'Here I am!'
A faint death shriek 1 beard : L slipped;
I V trod upon a clam !
A form eiherial crossed my path
A lovely cherub child :
Her lips were wreathed with sunny smiles;
Her glance was brightly mild.
I said, 4 Fair child, come ! view with mo
Yon glorious sunset sky !'
4 1 can't : for mammy said sie'd have
At tea, some pumpkin pie !"
I wandered where a stranger stood
With earnest heavenward gaze ;
As if some vision mystic lay
Beneath the horizon's haze.
His eagle eye met mine ; he spoke ;
I stood entranced and dumb !
' It's gunne rain like sixty, gal !
You'd better dig for home V
Ah me ! ah me ! where shall I fly
Congenial scenes to find ?
I cannot waken sympathy
With grovelling human kind.
Bah ! what an onion-odored gale !
And Sue, with greasy hand,
Screams, 4 Pork for dinner ' Let me go
And dwell in fairv land !
We find the following bustling article in the
Salem Gazette :
Mysterious. Found, a thing 44 without a
nane,"so far as our eXDerience goes. I is of
'ne feminine gender, luna-like, crescent-shaped,
siring pendant from each extreme; when viewed
eugwtse, meniscus-formed, opake soft is it,
ind rnealy or cottou stuffed. Reasoning 44 a
Pustenori," it is of no possible value to any bo
dy but the wearer. It is probably an article of
s,Iaclimeut, or to be attachednot sheriff-wj..e,
crporaly horizontal, since string-provided.
Whoever baa lost, may find, and by proving
P'openy may obtain. Apply to the printer.
Diamond cut Diamond.
When there is a scarcity of natural pigeons,
sporting; men by way of keeping their hand in,
occasionally pluck one another. A rich case
of this kind, in which two of the fraternity, one
a Southerner and the other a New Yorker. fi
ured pretty conspicuously, occurred in this ci
ty last week. We will give the facts as they
were related to us: indeed they need no ampli
fication. The whole sporting world of Gotham
has had a pain in the side for several days past,
consequence of the paroxisms of laughter into
wnich it was thrown by the denouement. We
omit the names of the parties, but in other re
spects the statement may be relied on as full
and faithful.
It appears that in the early part of last week,
Mr. , of South Carolina, an upper crust'
gambler, arrived in town with plenty of the
fluid, for the purpose of belting on the approach
ing race between Peytona and Fashion, and of
picking up anything verdant that might come in
his way. Soon afier landing from the Phila
delphia boat he wended his way to a certain
well known restaurant in Park Row, where
blacklegs most do congregate, and for the pur
pose of meeting some of his old acquaintances,
and making some professional inquiries. He
had just lighted his segar and was in the act of
raising a glass of brandy and water to his lips,
when the flash of a large jewel on the finger of
one of the craft who was performing the same
operation, arrested his attention.
4 That's a fine diamond,' exclaimed the South
erner, sitting down ins tumbler, and stooping
forward to obtain a closer view of the jewel.
4 Yes,' remarked the other carelessly, 'it
ought to be ; I gave five hundred dollars for it,
and got it cheap at that. 1 wish I had the val
ue of it now though; for I got regularly cleaned
out at 's, Barclay-street yesterday.'
4 What'll you take for it, cash down,' said the
Southerner, who, like most of his tribe, is fond
of showy bijoucrtie, and having a pocket full of
rocks, felt retnarkahly self-complacent.
4 Well,' said the New York land shark, speak
ing slowly, and taking a pull ai his segar every
second word, 4 as I want money and you're s
pretty clever fellow, I don't care if I let you
have it for four hundred and fifty dollars.'
4 Say four hundred,' was the reply, 4 and it's
& bargain.'
4 Well as it is you, the half hundred shan't
spoil a trade. You shall have it.'
The ring was transferred and the money was
paid. By this time the parties had become the
centre of a little knot of knowing ones, upon
whose faces sat a sneering expression, which
the Southerner, who like all gamblers, is a good
physiognomist, "perceived and did not relish.
When the transaction was completed, his keen
ear caught the sound of a sniggering whisper
which ran round the little circle, and he at once
concluded he was done. He showed no symp
toms of suspicion, however, but called for cham
paigne, treated the company, declared himself
delighted with the purchase, and bidding his
friends good evening, left the place. Proceed
ing to the store of an eminent jeweller in Broad
way, he placed the ring on the counter, and
asked the value of 4 that brilliant'.' The jewel
ler looked at him and smiled. 4 It is paste,'
satd he, 4 and worth about fifty cents.'
4 Have you a real stone about the same size
and shape," said the Southerner.
4 1 have, was the reply, and a beautiful table
diamond, of which the mock stone seemed a
fac simile, was produced.
The price was four hundred dollars. The
Southerner then explained that lie wished to
borrow it for a few days, and would leave the
value in the jeweller's hands until it was re
turned, and pay twenty-five dollars for ibo use
of it. The proposition was agreed to, the real
diamond substituted for the counterfeit, and the
Southerner left the store.
On the next evening he paid another visit lo
the restaurant, and found the old party assem-
bled. They all began to quiz him ; declaring
that he had been regularly 'sucked in ;' thai his
ring was not worth a dullar, &e.; the former
owner of the trinket appearing to enjoy the joke
more than any of the rest.
Well, gentlemen,' said the supposed dupe,
in a complaicent tone, ' you may think what
you please ; I know its a diamond. I ve trav-
lled orae, and I'm not lo be taken in at; ea-y
as you think for. I'll bet a hundred dollars this
is a real brilliant.1
The bet was taken up in an instant, the
others offered to the amount of five or six hun
dred dollars more ; all of which were promptly
met by the Southerner. The stakes being put
up, out sallied the sportsmen to find a jeweller.
The first they questioned pronounced it to be a
fine diamond and worth from four to five hun
dred dollars ; so said the next, and the next !
The betters stood aghast ! it was a diamond,
and no mistake ; and as ihe Southerner pock
eted the 4 tin,' he coolly observed, 1 1 told you
gentlemen that I had travelled some.'
The following day he took the stone back to
the jeweller of whom he had borrowed it, and
had the composition counterfeit replaced in
the ring, and in the evening he sought the re
staurant for the third time. The same 4 set'
were again there, but looked somewhat crest
fallen. After joking them for some time, our
hero gravely addressed the cute gentlemen from
whom he had purchased the ring, after this
fashion.
4 Weli, my dear fellow, I have had my laugh
out of you ; I don't want lo rob you, and I don't
want the ring. Marquand has offered me three
hundred and fifty dollars for it ; you shall have
it for two hundred and fifty dollars, and you
can go lo him to-morrow if you like, and make
a cool hundred out of it.'
The offer was too tempting to be refused.
The shark bit, and the Southerner received two
hundred and fifty dollars worth of gold, and the
sharper fifty cents worth of paste. The next
morning the Carolinian was non est inventus ;
and the over-reached sharper found lying on
his (able a beautiful billet, sealed with perfumed
wax, and stamped with tho figure of Mercury,
the God of thieves. On removing the evclope
the note was found to contain only three words,
viz;
DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND.
This was a puzzle ; but the first jeweller to
whom our ' sporting man' showed the ring ex
plained the mystery. The victim unable to
bear up against the ridicule brought down upon
htm by this denouement, has left town a few
weeks on urgent business.
Queer Legislation in Florida.
When the youthful slate of Florida adopted
the motto, Let us alone," we expected to see
her do some queer things, but the strangest act
for a young state, is that which she was guilty
of at the last session of the legislature, which
compels all ihe girls to remain without annexa
tion until the legislature meets again. The
laws forbid, under severe penalties, the marry
ing of persons without a license obtained from
the Clerk of the County Court of the county
where the marriage is to take place, and during
the session ol the legislature, winch has just
closed, a law was passed to abolish all these
Courts, after the 1st of October, without ap
pointing another officer to grant marriage licen
ces. The consequence will be, that all single
persona at that time must wait for the action of
a future legislature, before they can marry.
What young girl of spirit would live in such a
state? Unless the legislature minds what it is
about, the statu will indeed be " let alone."
A Gem. When you find a well disciplined
character in the female form, what a noble one
it is; the labor of the understanding, the educa
tion of self-control have made her groat. She
is a whole host. Look at her influence in so
ciety ; see the majesty of her deportment, the
easy assurance of her countenance. How com
mon men quail before her ! What respect and
attention she exacts from the titled profligate
uud the talented vicious ! She is all that is
equalled on earth. There is no beauty to com
pare with sut-h beauty ; no wealth with such
charms She is the nicest workmanship of
God ; and in her dwells a soul that scatters
blessings around hor. Tho heart of her hus
band delighteth in her, and he has no need of
spoil.
Diarrhcea. A simple cure is proposed in
the Albany Argus for this disease. Three
Strawberry leaves eaten green, are said to be an
unfailing and immediate cure for summer com
plaint, diarrhuja and dysentery. Strawberries
are out of seaMin, but we presume the green
leai es can be hd,
Humors of Polities.
Rev. Win. G. Brownlow, Editor of the Jones
borough Tennessee Whig, is a notorious wag,
and, as his District is invincibly Loco Foco, the
Whigs have perpetrated a practical joke on him
by running him for Congress. He takes it in
good part, however, and enters so heartily into
the spirit of the thing that it is really "as good
as a play." He throws out each week a new
manifesto to the constituency, giving strong rea
sons why he should be chosen, so cleverly put
together that they must like him as a candidate
if not as a Congressman. Here is his latest:
TEN REASONS WHY I SHOULD BE ELECTED.
I. Because, I am not troublesome lo the dear
people never was a candidate before for any
office and never asked for a crumb from the
public crib in all my life
II. Because I have been serving the public
all my life at my own expenses, as a Parson,
uniting together man and wife, especially run
aways, free of charges; as an Editor,. a stump
orator, and a leader in all the political contests
of the age !
III. Because I have not called the honest
people out from their work, under a pretence
of making speeches, like my opponent, solely
to get home with some of them and sponge up
on them, because they live better than we poor
dogs do in these filthy little towns, it has been
a great cross to me, big eater as I am, to stay
away from the cool milk and butter, and beau
tiful spring-houses in the country aud the
greedy dog against whom 1 run could not with
stand the temptation !
IV. Because Pam naturally a clever sort of a
fellow whole-souled, real go-ahead man, lib
eral, willing to divide the last cent with a mor
tal, or even the last hoe cake and not above
mixing with my equals and superiors, because
they have wool hats and tow breehes on, and
no shoes. These are my sort of men, and I
don't care who knows it !
V. Because if elected, I would cause this
District to have more character and fame than
ever Wise's, Peyton's, Stanley's, or any body
else's ever had. I would make the noisy world
foret there ever was such a State as Buncombe.
The papers would speak of nothing but "Drown
low and the first Congressional District oj Ten
nessee" Aud it would make even a Tennes
see Democrat proud to be in the Capital at
Washington, and hear a stranger ask, 44 What
tall, sharp nosed, big mouthed, keen-eyed man
is that speaking there, who cuts to the quick, and
has more voice than every man in the house !"
when the answer would be, "That is Brown
low of Tennessee .'" Only think of it !
VI. Because, if elected, the district would
be rid of the scandal of Infidelity, and all the
churches would have a friend and representa
tive there. True, I differ with some as to the
details of the thing, but then, in the great mat
ters of Faith and Practice, we agree to a frac
tion !
VII. Because I am a liberal man none of
your misers or note shavers and would spend
all my wages in purchasing Tracts, Almanacs,
Newspapers, Pamphlets and Pictures and un
der my frank, free of charges, I would flood this
Distiict with them sending them into every
man's cabin and causing the women and chil
dren to laugh "during the long winter nights, till
they split their sides !
VIII. Because, if elected, I will havo a law
passed lo do away with all party names to re
quire all parlies to make friends and to unite
us all as we used to be, under the good old name
of Republican Democratic Whig American Free
men; adopting as our creed, Religion, beneral
Politics, Good Eating and Drinking, Pretty
Women, Smart Children, the United Stales,
Oregon, Texas, East Tennessee, United States
Bank paper and Gold and Silver.
IX. Because, if elected now, my chance is
good for the nomination to the Presidency, in
1848 aud what an honor it would be to this
District to furnish a President ! In giving out
the offices, I would first furnish every man in
this District who had voted for me, so that this
District would then rule the Nation, just as it
should.
X. Because it would bo a disgrace to this
District, and to this State, if not to the Union,
to have me beaten, and sent into the shades nj
private life ! Only think of it ! Come bays,
one and all, cut louse from the leader 0( both
parties, and vote for me. Try me once, and
see if I don't suit you to a gnat's heel ! I fet-l
a good deal like I shall shine out like ih
boys are with me. The votes of ihe poor
claim, who like myself have nothing and uni
of those rich rascals of either party. Aud if
elected, O what a time wo shall have, in tins
country !
Respectfully your Fellow-citiz-n,
W. G. BROWNLOW.
Prentice, of the Louisville Journal, gi-i
the following humorous account of Mr. Polk'i
new collector at Cincinnati, who displays tha
usual Loco-foco thirnt for the 44 spoils" tht
" faas," as he calls them.
The New Cincinnati Collector. When
Pat Collins got his commission as collector of
the port of Cincinnati, he sucked in about ons
half of the voluminous lower lip in which he
rejoices, and walked down to the collector's of
fice. He entered the room, glanced at the gen
tlemen present, took a chair, placed his old
weather-beaten hat between his knees, and
bending forward very gracefully, cleared his
throat and became refreshingly vocal a follows
" Faix, but I'd like to be afther looking at,
the faas."
44 A Her what V inquired a gentleman present.
44 The faas iv yc plaise," said Pat pleasantly.
44 What the devil does he mean 1" said the
gentleman wonderingly.
44 1 tnaan," said Pat, 44 that my name's Path
rick Collins, and I'm jist been appointed col
lecthur in Misther Wing's place, by his excel
lency Mr. Polk, an I jisl slept in to see about
the faas of my office."
44 1 reckon he moans fees," suggested another
gentleman.
44 Adzactly," replied Pat, 41 an iv ye've got a.
list ov 'em stuck up like the jury faas in the
court-house, I'd like to be afther seeing 'em.
Arrah, my honey, but I see 'em over here."
Up jumped Pat and walked across ihe room,
and after looking earnestly at the counting
house calendar for a while, remarked :
" Iv these is the faas, by Saint Pathrick. but
1 1 can make neither heads nor tails out iv 'em.
and I'm in rayiher a bad way to find out what
the office's worth, now I've got it."
One of the gentlemen, taking pity on Mr.
Polk's new collector, very benevolently inform
ed him that he had been examining a counting
house calendar with great minuteness, aud then
proceeded to inform him of the probable value
of the office which the President had conferred
on him, to all of which Pat paid particular at
tention, his little eye and big lip watering with
delight all the while.
Having got the desired information Pat sbuf
fled himself out of the office, greatly edified
and pleased with the interview.
Pal's love of the 44 faas" of office is truly Lo
coish, but we hope he will not become so enam
ored of them as to pocket more than his share
and start hastily for California, to the great loss
of the Queen city and all the lovers of Irish,
wit, fun, humor, pathos and eloquence.
Unparalleled Liberality.
A few days ago, says the New York Herald,
a boy picked up a gold watch down town, worth
about a hundred dollats, and spent several hours
in finding the owner, which he at length suc
ceeded in doing. He carried the watch to him,
and upon presenting it, was scolded by tho
owner for not returning it sooner; but relenting,
he put his hand in his pocket and gave him, as
an encouragement for his honesty, the enor
mous sum of twenty-five cents !
Not many years ago, a pair of miserable leas
horses, that .looked as though the' next gust of
wind would take them into the air, and whri
were, already waiting to have their understand
ing secured by a few nails, attracted the aitt-n-tion
of a wag, whilo passing by a blacksmith's,
shop. The fellow paused a moment, and ex
amined these objects of anatomy, then stepped
into tho shop. 44 Do you build horses sir?""
14 Build horses L" exclaimed the astonished sou
of Vulcan, taking off his paper cap and length
ening down his round good-naiurod face
"build horses sir! what do you mean!" 41Why,'
replied the wag, 44 1 saw a couple of frames
standing at the door, and I thought I'd enquire."
The aggregate population of New York U.
estimated to bo oyer 'hirea millions.