6-
' r ' .w '"
WUKUJUllJi.ji.i.-i . .Mill ..., . .. .1.11 nil! I ..I I ' . ., l , , . , , i. . 1L"JI V.f 1 1 " -' ' I MT-1I1.JK1.M.U. !.L g-W
The whole art ok Government consists w the art of being honest. Jefferson.
-VOL. 4.
TERMS. Two dollars per annum in advance Tw o dollars
and a quarter, half venriv and if not paid before the nd of
the year. T.vo dollars arid a half. Tlwtfe ccene their
papers by a earner or stare drivers employed ly the proprie
tor, will be charged 37 1-2 ets. perjear. utru.
No papers discontinued until all arrearages are pakl, except
at the op; un of the Editors.
ICA.ivertiseoients not exceeding oik; square (sixteen lines)
-.via be inserted three week s for one dollar : twenty-five cents
for every subsequent insertion : Iarjrer ones in propoitioa. A
liber il discount will be made lo yearly advertisers
letters addressed to the Editor. must be post paid. "
J1B FKO'TSiTO. . .
Having a general assortment of large olevaiu plain and'ornk
menial Trpe, c are prepare-! to xe"Utc every
oesrripiron cf '
Cards, Cireahirs, Hill i2ea5$, Sfotcs,
UUxnK Receipts.
JUSTICES. LEGAii AND OTHER
TAMPHLETS, &c.
Prsnte i w i'h neatnefs a.ii despatch, on reasonable terms
A.T TIIH OFFICE OF THE
Ecffcrsoniau Republican.
Fort THE JEFFERSON IAN REPUBLICAN.
Tire Yoice o Autitim:.
Stccel Sabbath of the yenr."
I come again with my chilly breath,
1 come with tresses drear and pale;
Th forest leaves I'll sear and death
I'll send to flowers in yonder vale.
I'll go astray where water glide,
And rnb their coast of verdure fair ;
And oVr the vales and mountains wide,
111 strip them of their beauty bare.
Thro' verdant meids I'll proudly stray.
To snip them of their fragrant fiow'rs
My voice's not in the warbler's lay;
How drear and lone the blooming bow "r !
Ir.vftcis no more wnh transport ing.
To theni unwelcome is mv reign :
Ar ;!cks on melancholy wins,
R ep: ne es Autumn conies agxtn.
H. C. M.
Poet's G arret . WssljaU, Nov. 1S-J3.
ISatlzeaiatzcai Qaesticis.
One day I was standing upon the sea shore.
FnKTi the water my eyes were 10 feet, and no more, j
Then amnu.uain I stw whose height I well knew, I
To ; ? 1-2,000 feet of a deep purple blue.
Supposing tl.is earth in diameter then
beten thousand nine hundred, one score and ten
3: these observations be correct and just,
Tiv extent of my sight you can tell me. I trust.
CAnswer nest. week. H. C. M.
'Miles.
Fattesiug Turlieys.
On looking over some old paper? a few days
?Z i. we came, across tho following curious mode
4 .d'.Jemng Turkey. "In the wmicr of 181S
1 j. a gptitieuian in ihe city made the following
ew'n.neni. He placed a turkey in an enclo-
:f -bout four feet long, two leet wide, and
three or four feel high. He excluded as much
light as he could without preventing a circula
tion of air. and fed the turkey with soft brick
h'uken iio pieces, with charcoal also broken,
.e5fa
in
ked
!.! wnli mx grains of corn per da v. Fres
wer was daily supplied. The box or coop
.... .t i i l i iiti
, i . " 1 1 r .1 r I
dent that nobody interfered with lhe expen-j
mem. i
a . j r ,v . . - , j
i tho onn ni IMP. mnnlH na invilod a num. I
1 " " - " ' ..4V.I 11V It. . . . . V. 1IUUI
a num
her of his neighbors, among others, trro physi
cians. The turkey, now very large and heavy
was killed and opened by the physicians, and
was found to be filled up with fat. The giz
zird and entrails were dissected, and nothing
was found hut a residutn of charcoal and brick.
T conclude ihe examination satisfactorily, the
turkey was eaten and found lo be very good.
List winter he again repeated the experiment
wnh lhe same success. The circumstance
which induced him lo make the experiment is
a very curious one. One of his neighbors
informed' him, that being driven from the city
by the fever of 1793, his family recollected thai
some fowh that had lived in a kind of loft over
his workshop, had been forgotten in the hurry
cf their remoral, and would certainly be starved.
They re absent six or eight weeks, and on
i;i3 rptiruiP of the pestilences returned. To
ibetr great astonishment, the fowls were not
only a;ne, but rery fat, although there were
riothuig but charcoal and shavings that they
c uiti hnve eaten, and j-oine waler that had
been ic 1J 'le lrugh of a grindstone had sup-
-lied ihem drink." It appears from the
' 5 that turktes re a species of biped that
.,. - ' r on a Graham dief.
j.iric uDw
,lv correspondent of the National Intel li
r'm sneaking of Prince Albert, saya, "he
ts tail, inclining m slowness; oair, wm:.n.
mMcb of a light a cplor as my (fan?
A lady wh " hukexs and "Jscho,"
ruttt i - - , I
STROTJDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY,
Bealh in t'ac lYItifc ISotsse.
TROil THF. CITIZEN SOLDIER.
Tread softly with a solemn footstep, whisper
your words in a low voice, and iet your breath
be inched; fur ine air of the chamber is heavy
with death, and the faces of ail yon see are
damped with grief, and the suppressed sob of
the women, and the deep death-groan of the
strong man in mortal agony, mingle their notes
of woe, bi caking on your ear like voices from
the grave, and all around is tiiii and sad and
iearlul for the Hero is drill?. His keen eve
which a month ago, met the gaze uf millions. '
hailing him, in all the pomp of civic triumph,
their Leader and their Ruler, is now glazing
I with the chill of de3th, and his soul ts passing
mini tne valine 10 inc .wmi unseen.
He is dying ! The light of the breaking day
falls dimlv through the half closed thuttor.,
: the lamn bums with a sickir x!ar,. and m ih
t i o '
mingled light appear ihc faces of the watchers
hv thu bed-side of tl
oving, laces wan and
ghastly with prolonged anxiety and anguish.
He is dying! his face turned towards the
heavens, is paihd and wan, the cheeks are hol -
lowed, the eves sunken ; and the brow damn
with the dews of death, with the masses of
grev hair falling back from its outline stands
out so boldly in ihe light, speaking much of the
might of the Heros mind, while the whitening
lip, the convulsive throb trembling along the
lenoin oi tne jace, ine ncaving cnest ana trie
throat straining with the death-rattle, all an.
nounce the passage to the grave, and herald the
approach ol the Skeleton God.
And around him gathered ihe friends of his
path, and ihe sharers of his triumph
-there
was Webster wnh ins lowering brow
and '
eagle eve, there was Ckittende;
f
and v.-iNC
and Granger
t, men of mind from ail parIS'ofi
m, and there with a face stamped !
this wide union, and there with a face stamped
wtth genius, and marked with a high hoiiestv
purpose, was umjkge j. ajadger, r.e pride
iN,,rsn Carolina, ana an Mere gatnerea round
the' bedside, to see
he n
iightv
ma:
ight his
last battle, and after having battled Death an
1 -
nunurra limes m
the field, after
fiavimr
battled with enemies more bitter than death.
with slander, and falsehood, with low calumni -
ation, the Hero wad at last yielding to the final
victor of all, whose throne is on' the skulls of
nations and whOSe WaV IS OVer the realms 01
Time.
He was dying ! A month ago his footsteps j
had topped the highest rock in the steep psih-j
nainw had gone forth to ail the world, ss the
Ruler of ihe Great Land of New World Free
ee-
dom ; a month ago and he had s!Kd on
the.
fnitfi! nft Hi fro- fivfl kiiun ?nf hi fh
oi nuiiiou
on, and the earthquake shout of a free
had mounded on his ear and .'hied the
nponle
clear heavens above, and note
-ine snort space
.t i
of a Mingle moon had waned the insignia of
n i i i ... i . . i
fl
,
the
riiiTHr i:hi i.;ii:i: ivrfriiiii 111 iitn otjisii
Prestdeniiai Banquet had scarce grown cold
1
liie ast snout o ihe ocono was vtrl aoundin"
his ear, and he was summoned by a mightier
l l a -. I r 1. . . . j
inan ine k s, r u peupic, to .ue nirone oi
ihe Liernal God j
He was dying ! And t.ie scenes of the ter- j
nblo night oi Jippeeanoe were agatn around ;
him, the dars and featful night, wnen the yell j
of ihe savage and the gleam of ih scalping!
knife were m his camp; again ne Ird his rifle-
men to the quick struggle of hie fur hie ; again
lie snon,e.d ,he watchword ot ifle enarge, and a (
e aiiMiiicu uic k i
faint smile stole over ine hps cl the
J
ma"' as a8?ln ha b?hdd ,ho bariMtr of MT
; -"i - r
Hark a faint murmur breaks from nis lips-:
i
III I . 1 I
nis nancs ciuicn nervously ai mo vacant air. i Ezperinsesst osa A;i:ra:i3.
He is again beside the Thames. He is j A i-lB ,llraber f ,ile LQ(on Lancet con
agatn wnh Jokxsok and Shhlsy ; he is again j laitS a tin.jc(J f)f ceMillf experi...enis performed
beside Perrv, and again tne blue smoke oi the j (m onj ((f vhjLh) ,,, ., cnie ,s very sjn.
rule winds up irom me grenn wooas, an. me,
war whoop ol ill
ie Indian snnext along
T t ' 11
the
plain, i lien ihe irrrioie comet! : ui sweep
of Dick Johnson's mounted Riflemen m their
hurricane charge again pa.es before hi eye,
and the old Hero, would thotit wnh joy, ut
the death rattle is in his throat, and ihe deaih
devr on his brow.
ana t I
ill sW
Hets dyitigi for hi. death, the bright eyes
of woman h.il bedim with tears and the aged
jmen shall woep. and n ilsu'on will be sail and
gloom and civil corruption ana legalized anar
chy shall pas like a pall of gloom over the
land, and vet ihe fiat ha- gone forth, God hah
spoken ii.-and lhe Hero dies, ere yet lhe re
joicings of u; nation are lost to his ear.
And inihai lerribie moment, when his hands
were interlocked uuh lhe hnudsof death, when
his mind was arme-d to supernatural vigor, and
lhe Past and Future, mingled to his virion,
then aha thought of his country arose on his
mind, then- iha .thought of ihe ru?t placr-d in
his hands by the people, burdened his soul,
and with the last struggle of life, he imagined
a man of node heart and resolute sou! standi'.ig
befo:- uim, he imagined a succeor. cf, mind
and imeilect. and ihe word htoe ,mm his lips
"I wish yui naderMaudt'.ie tpiu principles
of Goeriiu!Ml Wq lgf got
L ask nothing ,-jnow
i"
The tittle Red Fox.
Tune- " Ole Ban Tucker."
The moon was up, and bright as day,
The stars they winked in their quiet way
When the Kinderhook Fo:c was chased by a Coon,
As the west wind whistled this bran new tune
Get out of the way, you're quite too late
You little Red Fox of the Empire Slate.
The Fox had hoped that the BuckeiaDos
Would beat of! the Coon with a thundering noise
But his heart grew sad, and his lur flew off, cough-
' As he heard, while he hiccupped a church yatd
Get out of the way, &r.
j Cwerthe line to old Pennsyllvck
I The Fox thought he'd go in search of luck;
j But the crv went up, "we dont want you here"
And they sung, as there dropt from his eve a tear
Get out of the way, &c.
I 00 n he went, to the old Aorlh Mate
With the hope that " Old Rip" would avert his fate;
i iut wnen he got there, l:e lost ins tail
And the Coon boys sung, as he "cut" with a wail
j Get out of the way, &c.
j
' rhe ta,llcS3 1 ox lhen went 10 TemiCSSCC
i To a lle help from Old Hick-o-ree;
j But he heard, as he went, a loud shout for Jones,
; And the song, as he scampered to save his bones
Get out of the wav, &c.
Breathless with fear, and without a tail-
I gm a won-smn maae mm quail ;
! 1Ie JumPed like a thiel to a cut-dirt" tune,
1 And heard, while he yelled like a frightened loon,
Get out of the way, &c.
On he leaped, with a limping gait
t tllt lUtn, ItlO U UllU'JIli .UUf 0(iiU Millie
' . " ... y .
But it followed him tl
That lerr,ble sour'd v;
tnere like a hue -and crv
Inch he could not fly
uet out ot tne wav, c.
. Wearied and worn, and chased by the
Coon,"
; His head became bald as
:, r, ,
a shaved babboon; !:"'
; ,T.
When he reached Lindenwald he signed 'I'munluc-
.. 31
. - ,n U1L l,cur,,u tu sl:,o" usl i suuui. auiiuum,
toutoi meuay.fic.
; So the Fox lay down, and his voice gotwheezy
His face grew pale, and his stomach oneasv ;
He heaved, he kicked, and cried 1'rn lost f ghost-
I Anrt t'no mrrl-.t -in mnnn ,n,l 'no .tovo it- th-
j A A. I llll. Illllk I U V 1 V A S AltO
The little Red Fox is quite unlucky
Fcr the people are going for Old Kentucky !
A. 'Screanaer' sacked.
Thf
Concordia (La.) Intelligencer tells
i :,.!. ..r .. f-ii ..1 m.:
w r , , i j i i i ti V
4
! . ...
itMIUIC Ulil lliUb OjJir.iIUIU uWfil, IlIU mill t Ul
his bundle tn one hand and five dol -
,a ; je ceriched in the other
. janki a,d hpcdes;! of his waVf
er on asm -
, ,
v, he tripped,
a'"
; , fftH ...
nan instant, (says
: i t , ii' 1 - irt i
, tne Inieliigencer,) recovering himself he struck
,-.... r ,t. t... i Hi :.. r..n
i it - i t 11 n
1 man 11 v Inr if mire. v:ii!efl finl ii In viv
j. lf ,. , , . i:i.,. i, ,
J j . i l. ...i ...j r i r.i
,,t if i, rt
g. opened hts hand and found but two of the
, ,cflhe WM eJ at h !ak mad
1 I 1
wilh hlv furI()tiS al ,he jo!,3 of his II10ney
and more than furious at the wo;wfroj ilwsii-
He ,ooked . ,he b(ja hp
rj ,ljs moneV amJ wound lhe slr bv
vemj )Ss , ',, as foows . .. Vvp , f
,.- ,h:v hrr, tltf?i ';,,,',
hand!iave jisl becn ducked-stand five feet ten
- m slacj:ing fcet-tohrabhj stout for my age
rc;lher 7mdand do? mi cats- if I can't finer
" "' "V ' if v
tumble!-Who'll say ves? Whoop! v:hoop !
rcnoopi Jlurra lor out ncnuicK r
1 '
, a foreistihr of ihe name of Wemhoid
took away the brain add spinal marroiv of one
of these animals, and fiiled up the space thus
made with an amalgam of mercury, quicksilver
and zinc. Life appeared lo be instantly re
stored, the animal lifted up its head, opened
and shut his eyes, and, looking wtth a fixed
stare, endeavored to walk, and whenerer il
dropped tried lo raise itself upon its legs. I:
continued in this state some twenty minutes,
when it fell and remained motionless. During
the lime the animal was thus treated, tho civ
eulation of the blood went on regularly; the se
cretion of tile gastric juice was more t'.san ual;.
a!, and the animal heat re-esiablislifd.
The Cincinnati Daily Messenr r man is
somewhat of a wag listen to hi'.n.
" We were surprised lo seo man yesterday
tvith a segar in his mouth, and a volume of
smoke issuing from lhe b'",ekof his neck. The
irpn had lieeu shot five years ago, the ball en
tering the back, of bis neck, and coining out at
'.no mouth, which is vciy capacious and getier
aily wide open. The wound had healed, bui
left the hole mado by lhe passage of the. bullet.
He keeps il corked up, except when smoking ;
and sometimo-, when in a great hurry, he eais
with his inoisih, while his drink j.- poured by a
NOVEMBER 23, 1843
The Romance of Frontier Life is well
exhibited in the following extract from an ora
tion on the last 4th of July at Camp Madison,
Kentucky, by the Hon. George Robertson :
In "the Blue Lick defeat," August the 20th,
17S2, the cormorant of death fed greedily on
the flower of the first settlement. On that dark
est of their gloomy days every settler lost a
friend, and nearly every family a prop. And
on that bloody field the Colonels Todd and
Trigg, and chivalrous Capt. Harland, and the
gallant sous of Boon, lay undistinguished
among the promiscuous slain, ail soon mangled
by devouring wolves and vultures, so as not to
be recognized by their friend?, who. three days
after the batile, buried the fragments. A few
of their crumbling bones, since collected by
their countrymen, now lie exposed to the ele
ments, in a confused pile, on the summit of the
bleak and rocky plain where the heroes fell.
We cannot now imagine ihe grief and despon
dence with which the mournful intelligence of
that day's catastrophe covered the land.
But the survivors, though wofuiiy bereaved,
were siot to be discouraged or dismayad. They
were resolved never to look. back or falter in
their first and last resolve to conquer the wil
derness or die in the attempt. Israel's God
stood bv and sustained the noble but forlorn
band, for their cause was his. On the long
roll of that day's reported slain were the names
of a few who had in fact been captured, and af
ter surviving ihe ordeal of the gauntlet, had
been permitted to live as captives. Among j vifes and de ciinblius and all lo jer insirMhinenii
these was an excellent husband and fnher, , anj ,lc ax me to eat sassage and sour-kruiit in
who, with eleven other captives, had been ta-!,,e Stadt house, mil lots of pretty gl and plcn
ken by a lribe, painied black, as the signal of i tv of hot viskev bunch."
torlurc and death
aih to all. The nigh: after the!
battle these twelve prisoners were stripped and
placed in a line on a log, he to whom we have
speeiaily alluded being at one exiremny of the j know me? I'm Major Johannes Schwari -YiiM?-devoted
row. ' man of Btinkinvtlle. No w den, vat von zavi to
The cittfl captors, then beginning at the I (at?
other end, slaughtered eleven, one by one; but "Oh 1 beg your pardon, Major Volkman, yon
ii'don lliot' iiinii tr ilia nrilv mrvirnr llinmili l.ll l. 1 .! A :lf .1 . .1 1 1-
"; w,
! ihev raised him up also and drew tlieir btoodv
j knives lo strike under each uplified arm, they
, paused, and alter a long pow-wow. spared his
' , , , ,
, ,e wttV. Il
never knew. For about one
year none
of his friends excepting his faithful
led his dealh; she hoping against
wife doubted
reason, still insisted that he lived and would
return 10 her. Wooed by another, she from
time to time postponed the nuptials, declaring
-l i l i i ii- ..r .!... i ':r
that she. could not divest herself of the belief
that her husband survived. Her expostulating
1 friends finally succeeded in their efforts to sti-
j fie her affectionate instinct ; she reluctantly
I yielded, and ihe nuptial day was fixed. But
1 ! :.. . i --. :. .t i .u ..r .n
J"31 41
jusi neiore u uawneu uiu uiutt ui it inie was
heard near her lonely caoin; at the lamiiiarsound
, -I t- it 1 f i
i , 1 . , , i.
! as sue sprang, inais .ionns run: ii was
: , , , r , 1 . . t
John s gun, sure enough, and m an instant she
- -ii.il."
: ,, , ,., , ,,..,.,,
IJHl IllliC VUill iiiiKivniiua mat oainu iiuouaiiu
, .. ,, . . ., . r . , ,; ,-
-H - Ciair's defeat,' and the same dis
appointed but persevering iover renewed his
..t.l n..l r t In. I Vl r. I.rlfl,. Ilfl0.1U Vl 1 ,.tlr
mill, illiu ill laai nii niuun ii..a.iici iii.-i unc.
,,,, ' r , ....
I I hn iono -r ttryn PliiO n f 1 I ft flM Oil t Q tt'lC
i suit, ami at last ine widow
within gunshot of my natal homestead, and with
ihat noble wife and matron I was myself well
acquainted.
As a Yankee pedlar of the genuine Conn.ec-
licul hree,J. wa" da"
,avpr" catering a raw bcn
might be as easily cnuntc
f in Irout ol a country
tied horse, whose ribs
counted as marbles in a
boy's pocket, a roguish looking horse jockey
l .1 II . .!!". 1
accosteu ine peaiar, ininKing to uvo some tun
with him, as follows:
" I say, I rather imagine it don't cost much
to keep that ere creature in feed, does it?"
" Wal now, what would you give to Know?
I make it a rule never t'.i trade for nothin."
" Well," said tbu jtickey, "if you can feed
him on any thirty escapethan laths and brick
bats, and support life, I'll treat."
"Done!" saul Jonathan, putting both hands
into his peckets and looking into the jockey's
face. "1 i.ake ycr up! stranger, i just gets a
lot of xaa.cings and put a pair of green spectacles
on the animal's nose, and the foolish creature
think its grass! t that rate lie oats a barrel a
day t Now, stranger, I'll take a sweetner, if
Y'iU please."
A Crusty One.
The editor of the Hagerstown News, him
self an old bachelor, says:
"Nothing can prevent an increase of bache
lorism save an amendment in the mode of edu
cating women. When they learn common
sense instead of broken French when they
learn some useful employment, instead of beat
ing the piano when they learn to prefer hon
est industry to silly coxcombry, and when men
find that a woman is a helpmate instead of a
burthen, then we may expect lo find fewer
bachelors not till then."
"The hardest fare I ever experienced," said
an old codger, "was the lime when I got lost
in ihe woods. I slept on a nick", and cracked
butternut with mr ;fte:h for a living. Them
f as 'hard times,"' i! ".
No. -33
iU-.L'i-J-
Bistlistfnisized arrival and rooepiliiu.
At half past three o'clock this monuug, Jo
hannes Volkman arrived in this great city. He
came from Lancaster county, slopi all night on
the Permanent Bridge, anil trudged info lywn
at an early hour as aforesaid, with a hligtv !tti
or knapsack of cheek on hts back, well filled
with something. The watchman according t
rule and custom, desired to know whai he eV
ried; therefore stopped Myneer VolkinduM.
corner of Walnut and Tenth streets, s.iyi:- -
'Hold on Mister, what have vriu gorftf tV ,t
bag?"
Vy, vat is del to you!" answered Jitor,e-?.
"spose it be mein closhe, vat for Vih goiu g u
tell you vat it i?
"You must open it, and let me see in."'
"I see you tam'd first; no pody shall see r.iein
vestcoals and sthoeking put meinltelf :na n
pody shall put on mein pruechcsTwt m;, and
mem vife."
"But the Mayor says' that every br.adle
package that comes in town at night untsi fee
examined."
"Veil, I put down mein pundle hr;e; jt rfs
mayor coom and peep into it if he c;osi':liI7t
no dam unterstrapper shalf has a ichnseH."
"That won't do. It's not ihe j'j;ivor' bi-
j ness to examine the bundles hin'.silf;
"Vy, you tam'd rashcal, I v s lord before I
leave home dat de mayor -and all do orr -re,
officer of your tam'd leeile village vohM oo:n
lout to meet nie and plav on tie iriiin? and do
"Whv who "are you tli
hat you should be treaf-
ed in that manner?"
"Who am I, you pluck-yard ! vy don't yon
i saau uu iuu"cu no iiav-Mgiu at ma puuiK ex
pense and then you s?iall be introduced to the
Mavor, I give vou mv word."
"Yaw, yaw ; verv coot : bote if von hnd'ni
1 pegged my harden, I should have snoke to A
mayor and oder pig men and u you huna'd as
sure as you're porn, pv chup'ter' Xowshest
show me vicb vay I must go."
The watchman redeemed his promise and
the Major got a public recentinn but was
, . , . .. . 1 . .
dismissed raihcr coolly, -when tho watchman
seemed unwilling to sweat positively that ha
was drunk wlren taken. Ev. Mercury.
Boited CaS.
The facetious cdii.or of the Lowell Time',
tells a good story of a fellow 'what got his suf
ficiency of boiled eat,' and as ii has a moral,
we gladly copy :A.
A few year ago, a farmer who was-noted
for his waggery, stopped at a tavern, which he
was in the habit of calling at on his way. from
K lo Sajem.
The landlady had got the pot boiling for din
ner, ar,d the cat was washing her face in thu
coiner. The traveller thinking it would be a
go,d joke, took off ihe pot lid, and while the
landlady was absent, put grimalkin in ihe pot
with the beef and potatoes, and lhen pursued
his journey to Salem.
The asionishtnent of ihe landlady may be
conceived, when in taking- up her dinner she
discovered the unpalatable addition which was
made to it. Knowing well the disposition of
i her customer, she had no difficulty in fixing on
the transgressor, and she determined to be a
venged. Aware that he would stop on his re
turn home for a cold bite, the cat was carefetly
dressed. The wag called as expeeted, and
pussy was put on tho table amongst other cold
dishes, but so disguised that he did not know
his old acquaintance.
Fie made a hearty meal, and washed it down
with a glass of gin. After paying his bill, he
ashed the lady if she had a cat she would give
him, for he was plagued almost todenth with
mice : she said she could not for she had lost
hcr's. 1 What,' says he, don't you know where
it is ?' 1 Oh, yes,' replied the landlady, ; you
just eat it !'
He was nerer known to boil a cat after
wards: A humorous fellow, a carpenter, being sum
moned as a witness on a trial for an assault, dna
of ihe councel, who was very much given to
brow beat the eridence, asked him whnv dis
lance he was from the parties when he saw tho
defendant strike the plaintiff? The enrpciuer
answered, "just four feet five inches and a
half." " Pray thee, fellow," says the councel,
"how is it possible you can be so very exact
as to the distance ?" " I thought," says tho
carpenter, " that some fool or other might ask me,
and so I measured it."
An old woman met a man with a crd!ev
"Oh, sir," said she, "behold ihe fruity of anti
mony." "Softly, softly," was the aiiswr.MS
is only the fruit" basket."
-
Punch says he knows a rnan'so fat tft.it tfiov
grease wagon wheels with his shadow.