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The whole art ok Government consists in the art op being honest. Jefferson.
VOL. 4.
STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY, JUNE 7, 1843.
6: is4
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TTefffersoEtiasi lieSElIic:in.
Jonathan's ThanKsgiving-
Did you ever go up to thanksgiving?
I swaggers ! what oceans of cakes !
Confounded fine lots of good living
What a darned sight of 'lasses it takes !
By golly ! what despot great chickens !
As big as old roosters, I an !
And turkeys as fat as the dickens,
I never did see such, I swan ! "
And then there's the gravy and tatur,
Gaul darn it ! how mealy and fat! .
And puddins it does beat all n.atur,
I couldn't get one in my hat !
Good laud ! what a thunderin' pie,
3Jade right out of punkins, I guess ;
I wonder if the crust's made of rye
I swanny, I'll eat a whole mess.
Jiy thunder ! just look o'here
What a 'tarnal big pile of plums,
' And cake, full of 'lasses oh, dear !
Odd rot it ! how it sticks to my gums !
And then there's the fiddlin' and dancin',
And gals, all as cute as a whistle;
The fellows are kickin' and piancin'
Their legs are as nimble as gristle.
The old cat ! if there aitit our Salj
Jumps up and down like a grasshopper
By jings, what's -ot into the gal 1
I don't s'pose the devil could stop her.
My stars ! how like Saficho they blow it;
What darn'd curds capers, I swow I
I vpmper, 1 wish I could go it,
Ptf-kickup a bobbery, I vow.
Marie.
Some seven years ago a funeral train swept
through the wide avenue of one of the modi
beautiful mansions in the southern part of Ma-i-1uiif1
The mil nnnlnrs nn fiithfir side, stirred
by a liht breeze, bowed their heads as though i
lor tne last lime iney were paying a mourniui ,
ubeisance lo the hearse that boie the mistress
of the ville to her grave. At the window, the
curtains of which were drawn aside, the pale
face of a beautiful girl was seen. It was Mane,
anrl sh wa wainhlrnr with a tearful eve the .
0 -j - -
inmh A fnw hnnrs nfipr this, at niaht. a vnuncn
man and maiden were kneeling, hand in hand,
. .- - , o J r
beside a narrow hillock of fresh earth. I hey
were Marie Dunbar and Henry Barbour the
orphan girl and her lover ; and there upon the
dust lightly piled upon her dead mother's breast
they prayed lhat heaven would heal their
wounded hearts. That parent, then cold and
lifeless, on her death-bed had placed her daugh
ter's hand in Henry's, and, blessing them, bade
him be her guardian. Upon her grave her dying
words were recalled, and Henry vowed thaf
while life was his he never would desert oisr
bsaurjful .Marie. Silently they rose from that
ll&rrotv mound, and though their hearts were
chasened by affliction, and tho fresh memory
of the virtues and affection of the lost one, still
thev were full dT hope,-and trusted with all the
buoyancy of youth to' the future for joy and i
happiness.
Ivlarie Dunbar was wealthy, and she placed i
'he whole of her lortune in the hands of her lo""!
er, who resolved to invest it in property in the
fSouih. In the section of the country in which
ihey then resided, Marie had no relatives, and
it was finally determined that Henry should
lsit the South, and after he- had established
himself in business, they were to be wedded.
Viih the promise for the hundredth time that
lie would write to her twiee every week, Henry
tore himself away from his beautiful love, and
j.fter a short voyage he arrived in New Orleans.
Tor a tune every thing went on Hmooihly, his
l-mspeeisi were brilliant, and, in the thought of
enjoying the luxuries of life in company with
Marie, a raitibow spanned his . visions of the
future.
One evening he was induced by a friend to
sit one of the gaming houses then licensed in
mournful band that bore her mother to her'P"a' ra ma ,aM ag,,l,y oreameu a prayer
the cily, and with liitlo difficulty he was
persuaded lo pay a small amount. He threw the
dice and won, and being pleased with the fever-
:t. :. . t i 1 1 . t
iau eicuemeni wnicn grauuauy grew upon mm,
he tried his chance and won again. Wine was
ordered, and to the gamester wine is like oil
poured upon fire. A large bet was offered, and
scarcely knowing what he did, he took it up.
He lost and then, and not till then, he recol-
Iected that it was Mario's money he was gam-
bling away. This thought almost maddened
him, and as a desperate resource he resolved to
throw again, in the attempt to retrieve his for-
tune, tie did so, and lost, and so he went on
- 1 - I 1 If t ,.!
unm at last ne rusncu irom tne lien, a oeg-
gared and dishonored man. That night was
passed in misery. He recollected how he had
wronged the confidence ol the orphan girl ; how
they had knelt together on her dead mother's
grave, and every word, men spoken rose up
and taunted him with the thought of what he
was then and what he was now. Goaded to
desperation, he resolved to break the last tie
that bound him to honor, and in an evil moment
he forged a check on a merchant in this city
to a large amount. He presented it at the
bank for payment and was detected and thrown
into jail. His trial came on at the criminal
court, and there his guilt was made so clear
that he was sentenced to five year's imprison
ment in the penitentiary. Heavily ironed, he
was placed on boaid the steamboat which was
to convey him to Baton Rouge. In the middle
of the night a plunge was heard, and the stale
room which ihe convict occupied was found
empty. Every one ori board came to the con
clusion that he had thrown himself overboard
and was drowned !
Marie was silling alone in her chamber. She
had been weeping, poor girl, and in her lap lay
her mother's miniature and one of Henry's let
ters. She had not heard from him lor months,
and his silence was the darkest enigma that
ever her young heart had tried to solte. He
could not be dead no, no! Like ihe wife of
the gifted Raleigh, she believed that
"Living or dead, he would not tarry from her."
At This moment a servant brought her a let
ter, and a single glance told her that it was
rom Henry. A glad cry escaped her lips she
hastily opened it, and instead of ihe warm
outpourings of a lover's heart, she read Henry's
confession of his guilt ! The servants heard a
shriek, and when they came in, they found
their mistress lifeless on the floor... For many
weeks alter Mane Dunbar was a maniac, and
when she recovered her beauty was like lhat
of ihe lily which had been crushed by the
storm. Willi a calmness lhat savored not of
earth, she announced her intention of quilting
her place ol birth lorever. Ihe old homestead
was sold, and the servants, many of whom
had grown grey in the service of her family,
crowded round her with tearful eyes, as she
bid them farewell; Again, and for the last
time, Marie knell down upon her mother's
grave. A prayer aKtn lo iiis breathed in the
garden of Geihsemane, went up to Heaven,
a,ld the orphan was alone, with none but God
In ihe year of calamity, 1837f when ihou-
sands were torn away by the hand of disease,
there was a sisler of Charnv in this Uitv
whose origin none knew; who was universally
beloved. Many a haggard wretch in ihe Hos-
. ,- i i,i . ,
lor Hie pale lady, who HKo an angel had so
kindly relieved his wants. She never smiled;
. ,, -.. . , . , - ., ,
buta holy radiance would sometimes overspread hjmf but he showed a calmness and self pos
her beautiful features, and then as she turned session which indicated a consciousness of
her deep blue eyes to her spirit's,home above, strength. Tho picadores attacked him on
she looked like a being of another world, horseback, and like the Noir Faineant, or Slug
Some said that she carried in her breast a bro- gjsh Knight, in the lists at Ashby, for a time
ken heart. She was never seen to weep, but he contented himself with merely repelling the
still ihere was a sorrowful shade on her coun- attacks &f his assailants, but suddenly, as if a
tenance, that spoke of blighted dieams and the little vexed, ho laid his head low, looked up at
wreck of earthly love, ' tho spears pointed at his neck and shutting his
One evening while the yellow fever was at'
its zenith, a poor outcast, who was evidently in i
tho last stage of the disease, was brought to
the hospital. Medicine was given him, and
the larger rooms being full, he was placed in
one. of the small chambers of the building. It
was now night, and the sky flung with a lavish
hand ihe lustre of its jewels on the sleeping
earth. The calm sweet noon -the Mlvcr heart
of the heaven above threw its light upon the
timid flowers, and thev with their rainbow eyes
returned its glances. The breeze flew by With
ambrosial wings, and as the dying ones inhaled
its passing fragrance, they thought how hweot
a thing it Wiis to live in health, and they remem
bered lhat when they were young ihey had
loved tho fresh blooming flowers. Then they
felt sharp pangs dart through their frames, and
the cold dew tstood upon their foreheads, and
ihe grave seemed pleasant. Tho tinkling bell
iir some of the wards told them thai one of
their - number was no more, and ihen they
wondered how a bell sounded io a dead man
if he could hear it, and if it would be rung
when they were no more.
The "palo lady" wns passing by the cham
ber where the outcast lav, and ihe lump in Her
------- - 2
hand t life w a ""strong gU am upon her' features
The sick man fixed hi3 eye upon her retirin
form, and covering his face with his hands, li
munnurtd, " No, no. It cannot be she !" Th
i i i. . - .
lauy mougui sne remembered the voice, and
she trembled like an aspen. She went back io
the room from whence the sound proceeded and
.looked upon the patient; -but his eyes were
closed, and she could not recognise him. Sh
laid her thin white hand upon his temple, and
the touch seemed to revive him. He looked at
her for a momeni, and then the muscles of hi
throat swelled, and his lips quivered as though h
tried to speak. A tear coursed down his sallow
cheek it was the last drop in ihe well of sor
I If a
row, ana it ltowea lor some bv-gone memory
The "pale lady" took her hand away, for
though ihe outcast was dead, yet his features
assumed a Jiving expression. She knew it all
She was standing by the corpse of Henry
iJarbour!
Marie, the "Dale ladv." tittered no sound
but she kissed his still heated brow, whilo
thoughts too big for utterance rose in her mind
Poor heart stricken girl ! Her trials on earth
were ended, and in a few months afterwards
on the celebration of All Sainis Day, a little
child placed a wieath of flowers on the "pal
lady's grave !"
Siss and Ozits.
I'm out of cash, and so of course,
I've pocket-room to let ;
I'm out of patience, just because ,
I'm never out of debt.
Besides I'm dreadfully in love,
And more than half in doubt '
Which is the greater evil, that
Of being in or out.
I'm deeply in my tailor's books,
But I don't mind a dun;.
And, if I w'asn't out of funds;
I'd pay him, out of fun.
He always gave me ' fits,' he said,
But heaven bless his eyes !
'Twould put him in a fit, I guess
He'd be in such surprise.
I'm out at elbows in distress, '
Ah I mine's a sorry tale !
I'm out of favor, out of sorts,' - '
But then I'm out of jail. -My
landlord says my time is out, -
Arid thinks I'd belter shin ;
I'm such an "out and outer" he
Won't have me in his inn.
I'm put of office, but in hopes
To get put in some day :
If I don't 1 run' for something loon
I'll have to run away.
I'm out of spirits, and I'm out . -
Of more than I can think; .
I'm out of temper; hang the penJ.
By gosh ! JPn out of Ink !
A terrible sceisc at a Still Fight.
Extract from Stevens' Travels in Yucatan.
The next would have been woriy of ihe best
hull fifilits of Old Soain. when the cavalier, at
ihe elanco of his ladv's eve leaped into the
rjng io play the marador with his sword. He
wnn lnrtn hlnr.U hull, without anv narlicuiar
marks of ferocity about him, but a man who sat
in our box. and for whose iudgment I had con-
cetved a great respect, lighted'a new straw ct-
. ' r
Uar. and nronounced him "may bravo." Ihere
was no bellowing blustering, or bravado about
o ' i . . .
eyes, rushed upon a picador on one side, struck
his horse in the belly with his horns, lifted him
off his feet and brought horse and rider head
long to the ground. The horse, fell upon the
rider, rolled completely over him, with his heels
in the air, and rose with one of tha rider's feet
euiangled in the stirrup. For an instant ho
stood like a breathing statue, with nostrils wide
and ears thrown back, wild with fright ; and
then, catching sight of ihe bull, he sprang clear
of the ground and dascd off at full speed around
the ring dragging lifter him ihe luckless pica
dor. Around ho went, senseless and helpless,
his whole body crimed wilh dirt, and with no
more life in it apparently, than a mere log of
wood. At every bound it seemed as il the
horse must strike his hind hoof into his fore
head. A cold shudder ran through the specta-
lors. The man was a lavorue, ue nau menus
and relatives present, and every body know his
name. A deep rnurmer'of "El Pobrc" burst
from every bosom. I full actually lifted from
my seat, and the president of the Life and Trust
would not hare given a policy upon him for any
premium. The picadores looked on aghast:
the bull was roaming loose in the ring, perhaps
the onlv indifferent snectaior. My own feel-
ns were roused against his companions, who
after what seemed an age on the rack, keeping
a special good lookout upon tha bull, at length
started in pursuit wilh the lassos, caught the
horse around the neck, and. brought him up
headlong. 'I he picadores extricated their lal
len companion, and carried him out. His face
was so begrimed with dirt lhat not a feature
was visible; but as he was borne across the
rinp. he ODened his eves, and they seemed
o, i 1
staring from his head with terror.
He was hardly out of the ring, when a hoarse
I"
"on fool! on foot!" The picadores dismounted
and attacked the bull fiercely on foot, flourish
ing their nonchas. Almost at the fir&t thrust
he rushed upon one of his adversaries, tumbled
him down, passed over his body, and walked
on without even turning round to look at him
He too was picked up and carried off.
The attack was renewed, and the bull be
came roused. In a -few- moments brought an
other picador to ihe ground, and, carried on by
his own impetus, passed over th.e body, but.
wilh a rioleul effort, recovered himself, and
turned short round upon his prostrate prey,
glared over him for a moment with a low bel
low, almost a howl, and: raising his fore feet a
little from the ground, so as lo give full force
to tho blow, thrust both horns into the stomach
of the fallen picador. Happily the points were
sawed off! and furious at not being able to
gore and toss him, he got one horn under the
picador's sash, lifted him and dashed him back
violently upon the ground.. Accustomed as the
spectators wero to scenes of this kind, there
was a universal burst of horror. JNot a man
attempted to aavo him. It would, perhaps, be
uniust to brand them as cowards, for brutal and
degrading as their tie was, they doubtless had
a feeling of companionship, but at all events
not a man attempted to save him, but the bull
after glaring over him, smelling" and pawing
him for a moment, a moment tod of Intense
excitement, turned away and left him.
This man, too, was carried off. I he sym
pathy of the spectators had for a while kept
them hushed ; but as soon as the man was
out of sight, all 'their pent up feelings broke out
in indignation against the bull, and there was a
universal cry, iii which the soft voices of wo:
men mingled wilh the hoarse voices of the
men, " Maialo ! matalo !" Kill him ! kill him !"
The picadores stood aghast. Three of their
companions had been struck down and carried
off the field ; the bull, pierced in several places,
h blood streaming irom him, but fresh as
when he began, and fiercer, was roaming
round the ring, and they held back, evidently
afraid to attack him. The spectators showered
upon them the approbious name of " cobardes!
cobardes !" " cowards ! cowards !" The dra
goon enforced obedience lo iheir voice, and,
fortifying themselves with a strong draught of
aqua ardiento, they once more faced ihe bull
poised their spears before him, but with faint
hands and trembling hearts, and finally, without
single thrust, amidst the contemptuous shouts
of the crowd, fell back, and left the bull master
of the field.
Popping tlie Question.
One of the merriest fellows of the day is tho
gallant Col. Carter of the Lycoming Gazette.
rhe following are his grave and profound re
marks upon the important science of " Popping
the question."
Girls are queer little animals ; angels we in
tended to have sjiid ; and we love 'em all, in
pjie of their faults, folly and flirting. We have
popped the question, at least a dozen times
have we been refused. The reverses have not
engendered a feeling of despair ; and strange as
it may sound, we are on as good terms with
ourself as ever : We rather attribute this want
of success to a want of tasie and discernment
on the part of certain fair ones ; and dark as the
prospect now is, we entertain a faint hope that,
perhaps at some distant day we may yet woo
nd win somo young, middle-aged, or even old
ady, worthy of our small means, and extensive
prospectsfworthy of our high standing, (six feet
in our socks,) and worthy of those graces of
mind and person which we are supposed by
-r a .
many to possess. iut tnis is an episode only
indulged in to show our dear " Maria," that the
decision of this momentous question has been
eft to a person who has had some experience
in the wayward, strange, queer, puzzling, pro-
oking, perplexing, incomprehensible and ca
pricious ways of lovely woman"! Now to the
text.
If a gentleman should meol with a repulse
refusal it is wholly and solely his own
ault. It is in ins-power io ascertain the stale
of the lady's feelings before he " unbosoms"
himself. But. how Of course, she will never
make a tender confession in tender words or
lender looks, h, no ! Sho will use very little
artifice to convince him that she does not care
two siraws for him, but if she really loves, she
betrays the existence of the tender passion in
a hundred different ways in the presence of the
' dear object." II sho meets the "object" m
the street, she tries to look cold and composed,
)ut blushes to her temples. II they should bo
en alone, and are in close proximity, they be-
i come excruciating embarrassed ; .have a sort of
croaking sensation about the throat trembling
of limbs faltering of words changing of col
or, &c. If he admires any peculiar mode df
wearing the hair any particular style of drcsa
he will discover that she innocently and on-
consciously enough accommodates hpre!f to
his fancy. If, on entering the room she is th'oj
last to greet his approach, he limy set- it down
as a very favorable symptom, ad JiniliAl; but
we have furnished enough for all Uselul pur
poses. .;ri
If, then, a genlldman finds a lady in the.itaia.
which we have attempted lo describe, he imv '
propose wilh perfect safety. 13m he must ta
careful as to time and place. The seusnit f
sunshine and flowers is ihe time when moun
tain and hill, plain and valley, are clothed m tjt.i
richest verdure when the birds carol forth
iheir songs of joy and luve---when the balmy
yinds of the south give color to ihe check anti
life to iheslep when the sweet murmuriiigljf
the brook breaks upon the silence of tho furu.it
when the goddess of the morn bathes !&,
smiling landscape in one bright'stream of g i-den-effulgence
when the eyes become, ofir
tender, dewy, and the lowing of herds proclaim
tho close of day when each field speak' of
joy and plenty when every trembling Ui.it
wnispers of love Oh, then, then is the tirrie I
As lo ihe place m some secluded w:iUx
where there is no possibility of iiiternlptidiu
Tremblingly place her delicate, while, soft
hand within your own 'mutton list, pop tho
question, and murmur inio her expecting ear
vows of love and constancy ! If she is a sen
sible, candid, off-handed sort of a girl, she wilL
say " Yes," and thank you. If she is a timid,
loving girl, she will probably burst in tears,
hide her head m your boadm, and refer you lo
her " pappv." If she is a foolish girl, she vtill.
say, " Yes" eagerly, and jump up and kiss you.
If she is a coquettish girl, she will look pleas
ed, but pretend to be astonished, and it will
require many succeeding interviews before you.
are able to make her " define her position."
True love, we all know is diffident, and tho
question is frequently "popped" without the
" popper" knowing what the complexion of tho
answer will be from the "poppee." If ihe -lady
hears you coldly and unmoved betrays
no alarm, no embarrassment, no soft fluttering"
of the heart, hand and voice and blasts your
hopes by polite utterance of the terrifically
terrible monosyllable "No," we advise you
immediately to get on your feet againcareful-
ly brush the dirt off vour knees, take your ha
in your hand, bow politely and indifferently to
the lady, as if the disappointment was not so
great as she expected, walk yourself off to
your lodgings, light a cigar, compose yourself
on a soft cushioned chair.- speculate upon the
future, the caprices and imperfections of the
sex, the blessings of a bachelor's life, and it is
probably you will oon forget her. It must be
evident lhat she don't care a copper about you.
It is true, by dogged perseverance you might
oventually obtain her consent; but, in nine
cases out often, hearts do not accompany hands
won in that way. But if the lady says " No!"
when all her looks and actions say "Yes," do
not, we beseech you, tear your hair and fly off
in a tangent. The hook has caught, and by
giving her plenty of line, and playing with her
delicstely and scientifically, you can, in, good
time, draw her to your arm, as sheblushmgly
confesses the power and potency of your
charms.
A booby of a fellow, now may spoil all, in
his haste or tardiness, and let the fair one es
cape from his unskilful hands, to be caught iuv
the net of some old sportsman. .
A JBriMglcr in Flattery.
There was my poor friend Snifton,he hated
pig and prune sauce as he hated a poor relative;
nevertheless, for twenty years did he consnnt
io eat it at his uncle s table ; nor could he find
words rich enough wherewith to do honor to
uncle's pig and prune sauce. Uncle died.
' Thank heaven," cried Snifton, " I shall now
receive my reward in hard cash for my sacri
fice to that demand pig and prune sauce."
The will was read, and thu was Snifton re
warded ; " And 1 hereby give and bequeath to .
my dearly beloved nephew, Peter Sntfion, in
consideration of his peculiar lore of my pig
and prune sauce, the whole and tole recipe,
whereby he may cook it. My son, be wary
and avoid such wretches. Punch's Letter to his.'
Son.
Temperance Toast.
' Revolutionary armies and cold water, ar-
mtes
tho
one drove the red coats from our
land, tho other the red noses.'
. Pretty Fair.
A corset-board supports and strengthens th
chest of a lady. If so, says a wittv editorn
may be properly termed the " board of liealth."
To remove warts from a cow's udder, wash
the part two or three times a day with a strong
decoction of alum and water. It is an excel
lent and simple remedy.
Let no man anticipate urertajn profits
t it'