A JOKE ON A HUNGRY MAN. Ulm a Theatre Maaaaer Tantalised as "Sadness Drantattat.” Manager Stetson, 'of the Globe, Wes • joke now and then, and I heard. of ' a most clever one he perpetrated on an eminent drianatist a while ago. Mr. Stetson took the literary - man to Lowell, where his cbm pany was playing a piece that he wanted re- . written. On the way down the • author re marked that owing to a series of accidents he had missed beat breakfact and lunch that day and was nearly starved. " Well," said Stetson, ?well have a royal dinner at Lair d:L." So when 'they arrived he took the author to the hotel, ran him up to the coun ter and said, '" This is Mr, —, the eminent dramatist, and he's hungry. Get up a fine dinner for him!" Presently dinner was ea nonnced and the two went in: They sat down and the viands. were brought. The author, hungry enough to eat shingle nails, was abbut'to begin, but Mr. Stetson gazed at the, collation ,and said :•,-"It won't do ! Take it away !" " Oh," cued the famished man, "It's all right I" "It Isn'i," said Mr. Stetson. "Do you think Mallow an emi nent dramatist and my- guest to eat' that stuff ? Take it away !" It was removed,. and after . a long wait, during ; : which the author went nearly wild with 'impatience, more food was brought in. That, too, ex cited Mr. Stetson's disgust. He would not consent that his, guest should eat it,d the author did not absolutely dare disob ey, and was dragged away to anotherfhoteL 'There, the sauce performance was ' ‘ gofilli through, and the dramatist, tantalized by the sight of Mood he could not devour, became so - - hun gry... he wanted .to cry. ButStelaan was Schmid that he sho4i have a repitst'4worthy of an eminent dramatist, and used 4 'the time seeking it till it became necessary to go to the theatre.' The author protested that. he' must have a bits of something, hut Stet son dragged him away anstkeiikhini in the theatre till the, performance was over.' By that time the literary man's hunger had be come frantic, and he swore he - must have 'food or perish. Stetson said he knew of a good restaurant, and he took the wretched man for a two mile walk, which, in the keen night air, largely increased his appetite, and when they reached the restaurant the hotr was midnight and the place closed. So _they had to walk back. They found a little German saloon open, but' the food wasn't good enough for aneminent dramatist, Mr. Stetson thought; so the hapless wretch was torn away. Finally the victim concluded that he didn't wet any more food, but would go to bed, and at last, about two' A. M., Mr. Stetson. permitted him to do so, - but kept coming into his room and watching him, so he Lad to go to bed. But about three o'clock, when the irrepressible had consented to ttimself 'retire, the eminent dramatist piled out of - bed, hastily dressed, went down and aroused the night clerk and persuaded him tck: hunt up,a lot of crackers .and cheese, which were - devsured with an eagerness almost amounting to frenzy, and which positively bctired hotel attache. • Throughout, the entire 'rformanee Mr. Stetsoh appeared to be me ly actuated by a desire to obtain food for • distinguished a personage as his guest. —Boston Post. • CONSUMPTION. '.., It is said that 50,000 people die annually -in the United States alone from this disease. In some sections of the country one death in every' three is from Consumption. This can be, and should be avoided; our people are too careless about an ordinary cough or cold; and other symptoms of throat and lung affections that lead to this disease. You should arrest it while it is in the germ. 'Two or three doses of Dr. Bosanko's cough .. Sid Lung Syrup will relieve an ordinary cough or cold. It does not dry ; up a cough `like many preparations on the market and leave the disease behind it, but acts directly on the throat and bronchial tubes, remov ing all the phlegtn and morbid matter that accumulates in the throat and lungs. It allays all irritation, and renders the voice clear and distinct. Sold by ,C. B. Porter's Werd House Drug Store. *ly27ly, NEW CORK DOC T ORS. Apropos of doctors, a curious case was de: sided a few davit ago, remarks a writer' in the Buffalo Cimrier,, A .doctor, who was also a ilruggigt, sold his practice to 'another ioctor, retaining his drug store and stipn . -biting in th( sale that the other doctor •,,should send all prescriptiots to him. This the latter failed t 4), do, and a suit for brawl of contract kiliosredl- - The court, held Met_ the contrtOeivas good in:law and should be fulfilled., The purpose 0 the contract was of course _to have the dOctor play into the "hands of the druggist bisending him plenty of prescriptions. I snpjose it is - rpretty well known that a great many doctors and drug. gists hive partnerships c?f that kind, though not on the,same terms. Fully two-thirds of the doctors in New York are supplied with prescription papers by .11rug,gists. The ad dress dt the druggists its printed on each paper, and in most cases the person receiv ing the prescription is told to take it to that address. The compe4tion of the doctors for this little kindness tit, the druggists is a commission on the cost of the medicine pro s_ scribed. There are doctors who do not stoop to anything of this kind, but they are a small .minority. Anther, ciistoni 'among doctors is to farm out t t iieir' practice. This does not o/cur until a li t llysician has built up a lug.: practice. BeAhen lets in a younger ' dcictor, turning over - such cases as he , cannot conveniently attend to aid taking part of the fee for hiss nic-e. My author-* ity for this is a physician who has beet over -the whole ground himi•elf. But there are good things to be said for the doctors as well as thinpitt the other sort. They give more , service without pay than any other profes. eland k class. There are physicians in - New _York whose Igratuitons practice represents 4=1500 tol $3,000 a year. It is not un common for a doctor to give one-third of his time to patients too poor to pay/ him any thing. As, a rule, the doctoni who do this' are well eii'itablished and have a good income, but some also do ii:whe have veiyilittle cash surplus at ttte end Of the year. if FREE OF COST. By calling at C. B. Porter's Ward House drug store, you can get a sample: bottle of Dr. Bosanko's Cough and Lung Syrnp which wilei:elieve the most obstinate Cough or Cold, and show you what the regular iO cent size Will do. When troubled with Asthma, Bronchitis, Dry, Hacking Cough. Pains in the Chest, and all diseases of .the Throat ant - Leings, try a sample bottle of this 'medicine. jnly27ly. Till SHAH AS AN ART' CRITIC; • • A yontig•prench painter was showingtlit r Shah of Persia - his picture of Herodias bringing in the head of John the "Baptist. The Shah asked him how .many mittutati were supposed to have passed since the heat . was cut off. 4,` Two minutes," said thi painter. The Shah then told him that; the lipiT ought to be wide cipiin and, of an, ashy, white. As the artist was unwilling to be' :onvinced, the - Shah chipped his hands, ad a slave'appearing, drew his swrird, and wit one tremendous- sw'pep i severed his hea from' his body. He then pulled out hi' watch and two minutes After stooped down picked,up_ the Weeding head,' and, walkin to the picture, held the real head by the sided of the painted one, and said to die, French!' man : " Monsieur, you can . see for your. self that the lips ought to bp , ashy white - and wide apart, and you will to believe the Shrdi in fatule." Then he tossed away the head and calmly walked out, leaving the painter more dead than alive to' take him. self and his unfortunate. picture back to hie ~.. own apartments. The shock was so severe to the painter's nerve that ho became - hys: terical and remained so for months, iinablt to do any work. The Shah conferred deco ; rations and- titles upon him, which cost nothing, and, giving him just enough mon ey to take him home, allowed him to leave Persia, and he now occupies a studio in the Pedals Royal in Paris. • " ' r ••• t6i POSITIVELY 'CURED BY Benson's Capcine Jorous Plasters. Reasons Why they are Preferred to All Other Porous Plasters or External O. tamales: - First. Ilemaatse they possess all the merit of the stringthealeg porous plaster, mad cantata in ad dition thereto the newly discovered. powerful and active vegetable combination which acts with in creased rubefacient, stimulating, sedative and counterirritant effects. Soctiead. Because they are a genuine piarrumentical prep. oration, and so recognized by the profeasion.„, Third. Because they are the only plasters that sellers pais at once. , toiarth. Because they will positively cure diseases other remedies will not even relieve. Fifth. • Because over MOO physiciansand droggistshars voluntarily testified Mat they am , supeiorto SB other plasters or medicines for exterall use, I, F 4,1 Because' the manufacturers have rsesiridtas only medals ever given for porous plasters. . • Base's Cocke Foram FMII SEABURY & JOHNSON. Menaisetarm Owmiste. New "fork: A!IWIM REMEDY AT LAST. • es mu. BEAD'S Iletilattal CORN and BUNION PLASTER. MICROSCOPES TELESCOPES STEREOPTICONS THERMOMETERS BAROMETERS Oitaloom, as gorLows, sent on JlPPlintiol2: - Part Istll , :thenal..6.lllnstruments, Ha pp. Part 2.4--Optical Instrument, list pp. Part 3.l—Stereopticon and Magic Lantana, Lto pp. Part 4th—Physical and Chemical Apparatus, 188 pp, Part Lth—lletenralctrical lns'7uments,l93 4 pp. - QUEEN &' CO. 924 CHESTNUT PHILADA. CU TTH IS O-U T ACENAKETS, 15 fo 840- P ER M W EEK. %Ve have Store's inls leading Cities, tram which our agenta obtain their auppliez.nui,;lay. Qnr Factories and Principal Mires are at te em Erie. sto ag Pa. Send for our Ea 'New Cala/061 12 e and enta Addre M 1 N. mei 312 Lackawanna Ave LUINGLI. SCRANTON. .PA. HORSE oS:ncdur2rsencctp for o in r s t =ii vim =mon of .14-Treatise on the Horse and his Diseases." It gives the best treatment for' all diseases, has. 60 line engravings showing BOOKr,sitinns assumed, by sick orses better. than can be taught in any.otherAray, s table showing doses of all the priacipatinedicines used.for the horse as well as their effects and antidotes when a 25 cis poison, a large corsl.lectioesn for r f anis telling the age - of a horse, with an engraving showing teeth of each year and a large amount of other valuable horse information. Hundreds of horiiemen have pronounced it worth more than books costing: $6 and, $lO. The fact that 200,000 sold in about one yetr before , it was re. vised shows how popular the book is. The re. Tilled edition is mum moan n - ranterneo. Rsarn so* a cram:men., AGENTS WANTED. Dr. 1. B. Kendall k Co.; Eaosburgh Falls, Vermont, Mar. 11-Iyr. .1 • ramp iiirr trwrrnsm WO3WS. (Front lye Boston Glo,be.) Alm EdUo;- - The above 1J• good likeness of Mrs. Lydia E. Pink. Lam, of Lynn, Mass, who above all other human beings may be truthfully called tha "Dear Friend Of Worcum," as of her correspondents love to call her. Ohs is sealcusly devoted to her work, which Is the outcome of a lifectudy; and Is obliged to. keep six- lady amistssits, to help her answer the blge ccammose;ktnce which daily pears in upon . bet s , each bearing Ma special Darden of suffering, or-Joy at release from it. am Vegstabb Compound is a medicine for good and' ud evil purposes I have perm:MDT investigated it and at=of the truth of this of its proven merits. It Is rocomasd and prescribed by the beephysicians in the country. One savoy "It works like a charm and eaves mach pale. It win cure entirely the worst form of falling of the uterus, Lencorrhate, Irregular and painful Kenstruation,all Ovarian Troubles, Inflammation and imceristbm, Fkoodings, an Displacements and the eon• ssquentspinal weakness, and is especially adapted to the Changes of Life." It permeates way portion of the system, and gives new Monad vigor. It removes faintness, flatulency, destroys all craving for stimulants, and relieves weak ness of the stomach. It cores Bloating, Ileadachea, Nervais Prostration, General Debility, Eileserd, Depression and Indigestion. That feeling of bearing down, causing pain, weight and backache, is alwaysi, permanently cured by Its use. It will at all times, and . = under all eimisucs, act in harmony with the law that governs the female system. It cans only sl . ..per bottle or six for $3., and is sold by druggists. , may "grim - required as to Special cases, and the names of nanny who have been restored to Perfect health by the use of ut_o Vegetable Compound, can be obtained by iddrendng Mrs. F., with stamp for reply, at her beam In Lynn, Mum - For Kith CkyComplaint of either sex lids compound is unsurpassed as abundant testimonial; show. "Hrs. Pinkhata's Liver Pills," my* one writer. "are the best in the scorid for the care of, - ConstMatlon, Ilillonanea and Smpidity of, the liver. Her Bleed Purifier works wanders in its !pedal line and bids fair to equal the Onammnd in its popularity. • AD must respect her as an Angel of Mercg whom sole ambition is to do good to of Itikedelphie, Pa.. (2) • "NEW FIRM! LANE (C, DECKER - G • PROPRIETORS OF' • • Livery and Boarding Stable - Washington Street, belo.wliain. ' ' The best rigs to be found. in any stable iu the country, furnished at ream:Vile rates. Diczza will give the business his personal 'attention, and invites his fri7nds to call when'in , :want of livery. • • B. W. LairE. • . ED: DECKER. 1061101 tint TOWANDA FA. CAPITAL PAID - IN $125,000 SURPLUS . FUND 80,000 •, (IV • A - iZ This Bank Offers =mull facilities for the transaction of a general banking business. N. N. BETTS, ' Cashier. SSQUEHANNA "COLLEGIATE INt3TITI7TE., - The first winter term of the twenty-ninth year , commences MONDAY; NO VEMBER 6th., The faculty has been enlarged, buildings tfiorp u ghly, refitted and heated by steam, the' accbmniudationa increased, - and the school fitted to accommodate its growing patronage. The attendance has nearly doubled in seven years. For circulars, catalogue or other particulars, address the Principsr. EDWIN E. 9,I3riLAN. A. M. Towanda, Ft. Arkansas City is not Unlike the rest of the wretched little towns;long the lower river. First, there is a high levee about thirty feet. up, to re*h which you have to crawl rip i foot in pine board incline, Oen a footin :..an berooly obtained ' , carefully pi ' one's Way up a line of" cleats nailed and w. there is a long warehouse at the top. TEC is well built and clean: That is because it ie owned by the steamboat interests. The town is made up of on street, flanked by small, cheap, dirty-looking houses. A tall, broad-liiOuldered citizen, dead dun*, lay tlat ofa iris face ia the middle of the street. Nninerons nudes, wearing high.horited Mex ican saddles, were hitched up and down the itreet, generally in • front of some saloon. - - No horses were seen. The mules were poor and ungroomed,' with their tails so thickly Madded with burrs that nothing. hut ampu tation of the former would ever; get rid of the latter. There were perhaps thirty or forty men in the street, corn-crackers 'arid negroes. I walked through the street, aid, from one end. of the town to the other khere was not the first' trace of anything hidieating one symptom of modern civilization. There was. not a flower on the , entire street. Not e , house was painted. Thefences were falling loam; everywhere,ther,e was such a spirit of decay quite in keeping with eta) Morose, sneaky, lotinging groups that hung about the saloons. Back of the town was a flat, God-forsaken country, cut. up .by muddy, ; red clay roads. No one would, imagine, from the poverty-stricken.look of the village and the wretched attire of the slack-figured victims of melancholia ranged along the . rtreets, that the cotintryround about is one of the richest in natural advantages of . any place in the world. , Here, upon the bank' of the river, just beyond the village, many thousands of bales of cotton are lying.' • A short distance above the village is a huge mill for the reduction of cotton seal into oil. From the superintendent of this mill I learn that cotton seed produces enough on to pay the entire expenses of the cotton crop, leer. ing the cotton clear profit. In this rich bottom it is possible for a planter to clear at least $4O from Every acre he plants. Witt this enormous profit possible,, there is no- where the slightest-sign of wealth or ever ordinary comfort.—Corraponderice ChicaQe Nth&l,--- . " 4. - • v.z.4 , 42.:,/. Fit ES. • -V. , , f - ' Piles are frequently_ preceded 'by a sense k of weight in the back, loins a lower part of the abdomen, causing the 'nt to sup pace he has some affection of e..kidneys or neighboring organs. At tim - symp toms of indigestion are present, as flauency, uneasiness of the stomach, etc. A moisture, like perspiration, producing a .verr disa greeable itching, partiFularly at night , after getting warm in bed, is a very. common at tendant. Internal, .-External and Itching Piles yield at once to the application of Dr. Bosanko's Pile Remedy,' which acts directly upon the parts affected, absorbing the Tu mors, allaying_ the intense itching, and ef fecting a . permanent cure where all other remedies hare failed. Do !Mt delay until the drairL'on the system . predimes perma nentdisability, but try it .and be cured. Price, 50 cents. Ask you.r s druggist for it, and when you can not obtain it of him, we will send it,' prepaid, „on receipt of price: Addiess The': Dr, Bosanko Medicine Co.,Piqua; Ohio. Sold by C. B. Porter, War House Drug Store. .july27ly. _ Talking 4:4 tea, the correspondent of the Rochester Democrat and ChroUide thinks it is curious to ilotice the changes of fashion in that as welkas in every other article. ' For merly it was bohea:and sonchong. Then old hyson became the style, then young hyson, then the oolongs came into use, and now Ja pan tea, is almost universal. Gunpowder and imperial teas never had a - great sale, but there are rich families in this city that use no other and are,willing to pay :$2 50 per pound . for the best article. There is not only a fashion in teas, butAlw in the style of get ting up a tea store; and the latter in this' city are painted blue with red trimmings. Theßteiners are the principal tea retailers and have ;early thirty stores devoted to this speciality. / The question concerning the proper' pronunciation of the w ord -' remains unsettled. Some hold Oat' it was once pro nounced " tay," and they cite Pope 01' au thority in the following couplet: "Hera thou great Anna, -whom three realms - Off. • - Dost :sometimes counsel take and _ Sometimes tea." • >. • The same:poet, however, set-; up a differ ent standard in another illace, thus : Pope is the first poet that refers to this beverage, and the - next is . Cowper, who speaks of "the cup that cheers,hnt tot inn. briates." jObrison - yhts:The first distin guished tea drinker; and aescribed himself as "one. whose' kettle •had hardly time to cool--whciWith tea amuses the evening— with tea solaces the ; miduight, and with tea welcomes the morning." Johnson's teapot (which is still preserved) contains marathan two.. quarts. lie mentions in one of his conversations drinking tea with Garrick and Peg 'Wellington; who act tiall4m ade - the tea. What a' remarkable tr.:6 at a -tea table, and what- a scene for on artist—the greatest literateur, the Oeated tragedis}n, • and the mod remarkable comedienne -of tile- seven teenth century grappling at the 'quiet tea ta• ble. . • . "Wells' Health Renewer" restores health. and vigor, - cures .Dyspepo" I —f.ttnee Reznal Debility. A NEW itOEPAPATTZE MI WEATHER TALE • If we mugt s talk about the weather, why not vary the forinpin, "It is a pleasant day?" Every one is tired of admitting that it is. Why not be scientifically accurate when one meets a friend?.the following is submitted as a spepimen dialogue : Jones—Ab, Mr. Smith, Ilaee we have cloudy weather, with light rain; ?" Smith(with a cheerful smile), Yes, and variable winds shifting to colder northeaiterly, .stationary, or higher pressure." Bones—" Quite so; but it is gratifying to know that the rivers will re main nearly stationary, and that the temper ature has fallen thirty degrees in ;the Rio Grande Valley. Good morning, sir."—Boa. ton Advertise 4 Mrs.& SL 1 i( - -; al*, .:-... , ' 11/ ,108. - TO 14 ' r 'l r 1 ent tab. 1.'78. A- :TOWNS 'TIM DRINKING. - "The enter box of Cor&lia I decree, Now leaire complaining and begin your tea. SKINEY DIENt anal. VAN straitres LADIES' TONIC. A Positive )ure for all Female Complaints. Ladles' Tonle Is by the Women's Medical Is. ,s.eltute of Baftale.and 11111 been used successfully ty ladies for years. It •; is a sure ewe for all Female t omplaints, Sick and Nervous Headache. Dyspepsia. and all weaknesses caused by those inegularitses which are ...common to wonsankbad. This Is no Patent Arthriwe, but Is Pielmred, after years of Ed:wk.:ice. and recom• mended. knowing that it will give neirilfe to any broken. down, vorn.out or averiporked member of the sex; If you have tried other remedies without stects. do rot be discouraged. but give "LADIES' TONIC I Si.Zie tria4 it ..err 'ails to give faith andoerme. went reffef. If you are toosbied with Isenimeni or complaint common t o our see Jay *dde the doctor's prescription once, and try " Laett' Tonic, width we .itirantee will positively rortyou..l one Mattis Is ettmd sell. Women's lilican...rte is smAsseciatkin of Whits sad . .afer/ters of years' taperiemati who give advice and answer losers from ladietArt• lmo will titt ie d a yinefor i zi . cese . iid re will :La t ie Weakens is a o or_Caab 44 °Ser. mule r.tiL i rereir ladies ',hokum. from erprerears what " /HS' TONIC" can dew 5030 stiunp toe chesty's,. =:n2Mt!!sl _ D'OLARKJOHNSO . 'S • ... Blood Syrup Ilms all diseases of the- Stoma*, • Liver, Bowels, Kidneys Skin 'and Mood. Millions testify to its efficacy in healing the above named, diseases, and pronounce it to be the . I . F *: Besti Remedy Known to - Man. sirAGENTS WANTEDmig -c Laboratory 77 West 3d St., New York City:- Druggists sell it. ml DL eur r usiz ur 3 .T . orr s u o t e go m st ed r e r . yc r ost Indian Bloat tytt c r i blit t gA ß ig e at " t Ct° “ . ilr f tior PILIEL. GO V: HO TI'S EJV'DORSE.IfE.N7 ETAXtliiVe lllansnort,. Harrisburg, , • Ha r urq, Pa., June 7, lsse. • John L ScrantOn, Pa:— • My Dear Sir:—Promptly upon th- receipt of your ' Elixir ten days since, !entered upon its use accorcting f to your directions,) stoPping my bdid Potass., Phos. Amtruin, and Wine of Ootchium. At that time I was completely disabled with gout in both feet and rheuma , . . ham in both knees, and helpless. 'Now I comfortably „ hobble about the house, and expect to be out in, a week.-, , It may be a coincidence ' my amendment and the talee your medicine. I hope for_ no occasion to try it ayain, ' but if need be I shall,try it again - in afresh attack, with great vn.fidenre. Very truly yours, HENRY 4i. . HO.YT. sll9.lps' Rheumatic Elixir cures rheutentiem IA all it. forms. 4 W Dr. H. a Porter & Son, Druggists, •Agenta for Towanda, firs. - .IT IS=A 1r C THAT THE WHOLESALE PRICE OF KEROSENE OIL Has advanced. Wei still retail at the OLD PRICE. Bring in your cans at once. TO DEALERS—LWe -Coffer kerosene and headlight - oil atlo*est whdlesale prices. AT TREI OLD RELIABLE OASR DRUG STORE. Dr. H. C. Porter & Son Corner Main and Pine Streets, Towanda. Pa. -.~.~ ..~ mow Cblir 3IE Mi ik.:f_l_.D.. DYE Ha *.C0,.. Hog~IOK sioliFisi 4.. • • • DON'T BUY BEFORE IN: THEIR STOOK! MAIN .STREET ' T . • . LARGE ~ ST OC • • I 4how the LARGEST VARIETY of Mens Boys and Childrens S V,E•RCOA. TS .• .110 BE FOUND IN TOWANDA. • They are made',offirst-elassinateriali - 4nd , I . guarantee a p9rfeq fit: 'orery time. • ~t I keep constantly on hand a'IIARGE,'ASSCI,RTMENT of GENTS FURNISHING :GOODS HATS, CAPS;. TRUNKS, (TRAVELING' BAGS &c. DRESS I AND BUSINESS SUITS. . • I Form a special feature in my: business I take the lead in this Department as well as all others. I have no Plate Glass windows or polish - ea counters, but I keep THE RIGHT GOODS and thepublic appreciate their extra value. safe in saying j:. - • MY STOCK CANNOT BE EQUALED IN THE COUNTY. - I have just received a large invoice of ail and.'7llilhter Clothini • 1 and will be pleased to show these foods, .Call at M.. E. ROSENFIELD'S ••• •, - and buy where yfm2 see the Crowd. - . I , EIUMPHREY BROS.& TRACY Manufacturers and Wholesale Dealers in all kinds of MEN'S, BOYS, WOMEN'S. MISSES AND CHILDREN'S Boots, hoes, Rubbers, &c o s CORNER MAIN AND ELIZABETH STREETS, 1rt,...)14 7 A SDA. s PA. ' e , - Rented', for Bikeumeatiaiss. HAVE A NEW STOCK OF. lEEE ME PECTMG .OWANDA 7 4 - SENSITIVE CALiFORNIANS. At 8 o'cloct this morning the thermoms. ter registerod 51° above sere, and ma r ! en. c r asef in heavy overcoats , war's complaining Of the cold. In 'tedious of the Union where snow falls, uch a degree of tempeuture would be 'considered mild and is not necesa. hating the wearing of an overcoat or extra warm clothing. The climate of California, NA of this city in particular, seems to. ren. der human beings more sensitise to slightly increased degrees of-heat and cold. 'lt is true,_we have no extremes; big persons who hive been accustomed to extremes of heat end oold, become after a: short residence here so setilitiveto the changes that degrees of heat and cold that would be considered meliorate in the colder affect , them u severely as the extremes to which they were before accustomed. Persons of this clan can feel as cold in a San Francisco rain As in a Sierra Nevada snow storm, .! and a slightly frosty morning here pinches their -toes and fingers as severely as would freeze the nose off of a bonze statue-8a Fran. loco Past I-, "%MAIII ON RATS:'' Clears out rats, mica, roaches; Gies, ants, beB•bogi.,ekuoks,'chipmunks, gophers. Lic. Druggists. NOW NB GOT IN. The most astonished 'man in California at the present time is probably James H. Budd, IL C. of San Joaquin.. To say . that Mr. Budd never . ed the, the people of the Second Congressional district would 'elect him to the place so _bong disgraced by Horace F. Page . is to is . press 4 mild opinion of the situation. At ilia convention which nominated him some one said: "Who shall we put up this time!" Lambs for the daughter were not numerous. Hold on a minute," dually Said a delegate ; " Dave Terry has got a man; PS go and get -him." He disappeared, but returned iota moment with Budd. Mr.'; Budd did not like the idea, but the httlelnot of delegates wither._ ed around him and one ofy, them said: " Why, take it, Tyin it won't hurt you. We all have to get ' beat at first." The others echoed: ;'Yes, take it." and Mr. Build, with his hands in his pockets and his hat rakishly tipped to one side, mounted the 'platform. ",Of course I can't beat Frank Page," he " but ru give him as lively a rattle as I can, you bet."—Son Francisco Chronicle. “BUCH 11 PA IR A.” Quick, complete core, all annoying Kidney, Bladder.snO Urinary s. $l. Drug gists. PERILS 0 - 1 4 LIMO IN NIISSISSIPI O I. . Several attempts ba*g'heen made by im migration agents to brinthi : Celonisis, writes a Blississippi correstiprident of the Chicago News, But all efforts fail. The difficulties in the way of finding even bare endurance existence in this country ars - too great. If an hanest luird-working citizen wants to he finds break-bone fever, malaria,- and dumb-aktie in, his road. If he' lives _through that combination, and keeps cheer ful is the society of cheap whiskey-drinking, sullen-faced small-minded,, ugly, &rill' , corn.erackers and ctldish- perms, and holds on long enough to gain money, then heat once becomes an object of envy to the white ruffians of the country. 'Then, if he is not waylaid and killed for the mere object of robbery, he is certain to become involved in some quarrel with the ,• saloon gang. Then; the loaded gun, filled with buikshot, will finish the career of the would-be tolos-' isti. It can only be settled by armed,' or ganized associations who will fight the white trash here as the border people have to fight the Indians. Delicate Females. - TiFie exactions of society, added to the cares of maternity and the household, have test4d beyond endurance the frail constitu tions Which have been granted the majority of women. To combat this tendency to premature decline, no remedy in the world possesses the nourishing and strengthening properties of Malt Bitters. They enrich the blood, perfect digestion. • stimulate the liver and kidneys, arrest ulcerative weak nessoand purify and vitalize every functiori of the female system. How A IPOOX Boy W• 11 irtle felloW fiom one of our charitable insti; tuticms was being taken to a 'l§l . ,ew Jeiwey farm by en agent,' the owneni of the feria havhig h 4& boy "bound" to them for 'a term of Aars,when the agent noticed • that he boy kept placing his hand inside of his acket on the left side, and occasionally wonld peep within with a tender -look. At /< 'ast he said, "What bare yoti. got .in there, my little friend?" " Oh, ,nothing , sr," he replied ; " only a bit of my mother's dress, which I've iiewecton - my coat ; it was. the dress she had on when she died, and now it kind of comfort.; me when I touch It."— fragerstown Globe. ~ . ......., .=. - A CONSCIENTIOUS: BAGGAGE timianza."7l. case of insanity Was brought to light, in a peculiar manner ktst week in Pennsylvania. While a train - was stopping at a station do the Central Road, a phtsician, who was about to, get on board, observed the baggage master repairing a trunk which seemed ready to burst4o pieces. This appeared to him so carionaland inexpliCable that he niade an investigation, and discovered that the poor fellow was a hopeless.unatic.—Roches ter Post•Expras. .• • Pczmzumv.—New York policemen are to Mve signal boxes on tbtir beats connected oiiiiire-'with the central' office so that by :onching a knob every little while they wilt . know at headquarters whether the men are m duty or not. This is a much 'simpler plan than the old One of tending an officer spnind to wake them up.overy hour.—PhiL zdelfihki News.. • • fiictrEn SENSIBILITIES OF WOMF.N.-• A Pennsylvania woman, who thought she had used arsenic instead of baking powder in her biscuit, solved the question , by feed. ing it to tramps: ph, the tender sensibilities if women I How Many- instances come tc light from day to day, to cheer us onward through this vale of tears.—Lowell Courier. NATHAN TIDD, (Successor t Mr. Mcieests,) DEALER rN' PITTSTON, VV ItKESBARRE 0 0 At. L, FOOT or PINE STREET. NEAR COURT HOUSE. TOWANDA, PA. Lbrvzsr PRICES FOR CASH. -ea The patronage of my old friends and the public generally is solicited.:_ I Seep • FIRE AND WE INSURANCE CLAIM Ans CO mi LIL • hCIION AGENCY: BRINK -& BUCK; Leßaynill e, Will write Policies for .risks-in Fire and Life Ie nuance. Collect Gains with Aare and promptness. They represent mine but- FIRST-CLASS COMPANIES ! they solicit theconfidence and patronage of those having business in their line, and will endeavor to merit it. Apply to or address ius3 tf BRINK& BUCK: Laßaysville. pa. CAUTlON.—whereas my wife Alice C. Davis bai left my bed bud Wird, Without just cause or provocation, all persons are hereby forbid harboring or trusting bar on myaocount. as I will pay no debts of her bontricting after this date. unless compelled by law. - ASHLEY DAVIS. New Alt* 3 4, Deo. 6, 1582 AND LOYAL SOCK rittietir F N ~N.0:0,; atiOk ka o 10 00 Witt OPERATES WITH EXEROY UPON THE RIO NETS. T NEIL BOWELS. APO PORES OP THE 81EIN, NEUTRALIZING. ABAORBING.AND EXPELLING SCROFULOUS. eANCEBOUR Min . CANKER • • - - HUMORS . The cause of molt human BM, and curing when physicians, limits's, and all other methods and remelies fill, Scrofula or King's r TYI. Glandular Swellings, 17Icers, Old Bored, Milk Leg, Mercurial Affections, Easipelas, Tumors, Abscesses, Car buncles, Boils, Blood Poisons, Bright's Disease, ,Wasting of the Kidney. and Liver, Rheumatism. 'Constipation, Piles, Dyspepsia, ind all itching and Scaly ERUPTIONS - Of the Skin and A:Op.—such as Salt Rheum. PaosLals Tetter,Ringworm, Barber's Itch,Saild illesd; Itching Piles,. , and other Disfiguring and Torturing Humors, front s pimple to • scrof• ulitic ulcer, when assisted b Ctracans and Crs -Icvis.l3,ost. the great Skin ellrea. CIITICURA A sweet:unchangeable Medicinal Jelley clears Offal' external evidence of Blood Humors, eats away Dead Skin and flesh, instantly allays Itch ing and Irritations, Softens, Soothe. and) Heals. Worth its weight in gold for all Itching Die esiu. - • --rCIITIOURA An Exquisite Toilet. Bath, and Nursery Sens: five. Fragrant with delicious flowir odors and healing balsam. Contains in la modified form all the virtues of Ccrricamt:the great Skin Cure, and is indispensible m the treatment of Skin and Scalp Mimeo', and for restoring, preserving. and beautifying the complexion and skin. The only Medicinal Baby Soap: . • Cirricoss lISIMMIXB are the only real curs.' fives for, disease* of thi Skin, Scalp and Blood. Price: Cunctraa lissoLvamv, SIX° per bottle; Cirrictrim, 60c. per box; large boxes, $1.00: Curl caLt Maancivar. Ton.= Scar, 2.5 c.; vrciatraA M/CDICUIALi 1311/MIXG. SOAP, 15C. Sold everitrhere. Depot, - WEESS k POTTER. Boston, Mum. cATARR,. r,f-i; ; ) Sanford's Radical Cure. • THE ()MEAT AMEICAN BALIRAMIC DISTILLA TION-OF WITCH HAZEL. AMERICAN !PINE CANADIAN MASIOOLD; '- 1 CLOVER BLOSSOM. 'For the Immediate Relief-4d Permanent cure of every form of Catarrh, from a simple Head Cold or Influenza to the... Leda of Smell. Taste, and hearing. Cough. 'Bronchitis, and Incipient Consumption. Indorsed by Physicians. Chem ists. And ,Medical Journals throughout the world. as the only complete external and inter nal treatment. One bottle Radical Cure, one 'box Catarrhal Solvent and Sanford's' Inhaler, allAn one pack age, of all druggists for $l. Ask for Sanford's Radical Cure. WEEKS & POTTER', Boston. • c;131.11 B , ELECTRICITY i . Oiiile'yet Effective, united .....,„ . . 'with Healing Balsam, Yen firaPeLsAiSTu . L ....I_ der COLLINIr VOLTAIC !II ------ b E itn Eer dre lt d! ti t I . - - - • ki: - ..: , all other plasters for every pe E ror on to e Pain, Weakness and Infirm pi -- aeto Aition. Price, 25 cents. , . s. 4511. 1% . Sold everywhere. • KENDALL'S SPAVIN CURE Is sure in its effects, mild in its action ►s It does not blister, yet 11 , penetrating and powerful to reach every deep seated pain or to remove any bony growth or other enlargements, such as spark's, splints curbs; callous, sprains, swell ings and any lankeness and , all 'enlargements of the joints dr limbs. or for .rlieumatism in man and for any purpose for which a liniment is used for' man -or beast. It brmow known to be the best liniment for man ever used, acting mild and yet certain in its effects. 'Aland address for Illustrated Circular which we think gives positive proof of its virtues. No remedy has ever met with such unqualified no case to our knowledge, for beast as well a man. Price $1 per bottle, or six bottles tor $5. All Druggists have if or.can get it for you, or it will be sent to any address on ireoelpt of price by the proprietors, Ds. KaNDALL G CO., Enos burgh Falls, Vt. ' • ' Sold by all Druggists. SREI. D. V. ”'EDGE, •. Manufacturer ofand neater m ,HUMAN HAIR • GOODS. UCH AS W 1 1 7 ., BANDEAUX, the popular Ch elaine Br aid, EVEIiTTRING BELONGING TO TU HAIR TRADE iga+Special Attention given to COMBINGS Boots all turned one way. SWITCHES from $1 upwards. Also Agent for Hruiter's Invisible - Face Povider, MUdam Clark's Corsets, and Shoulder Brace Elastics. sarParticular attention paid to 4ressing ladies bairst tbelr bomes or at my place of business, ore r Evant k Hildretbes store: ' - - lae. D. V. STEDGE. • lESTAI(LIPIIED IN 1385.] HOWARD - A. SHOW , Solicitor of . . • AMERICAN AND FOREIGN • F A. 'T T S. • G3LF StREET,N. W.. WASHINGTON, D. C.." (Successor to Gilmore. Smith k CO., ate Chipman, Homer /t Co.) . if I ! • Patents procured upon the same plan which originated And succes. fully Practiced bq the above-named tun., , • r Pamphlet, of sixty pager sent upon receipt o stamp. Inovel 4 • THE RUSH'FOH JACOB S -:AT THE:- Old Reliable Cloth- P O l pre . Is to examine his imittense 1••• • Iv FW: J1E11401:1 PrrirM Ready-Made Clothing. He is prepared to offer bargains' that will induce customers to boy. Ocupying the, large and commodious store, No. 123 Main street, formerly M. E. Solomon & Eon, he presents a full and complete- stock, in all lines of Clothing. • HENS', BOYS', YOUTHS' CHILDREN'S SUITS Of every grade andquality. GENT'S PIMNISIMNG GOODS, TRAVErING -BAGS, lIKBRELLAS, CANES, &C. OVERCOATS Of every quality. RUBBER GOODS a specialty. All are invited to call and secure bargains • H. JACOBS. Towanda, Pa., Oct. 8, 1882. Stevent4 . &7l6':Ong J General Dealers in GROCERIES, PROVISIONS, LIU COUNTRY PRODUCE HAVE REMOVED MIS fo their new,,norb MAIN AND PINE BTB (Th• 011 !mad at Vox. Blau &Samar) `-~"~~ . They invite attention to their complete asoortment awl very large etock s. I I. Choice New G3ods, whiChiiiwy i nay? alwayr, oni hand. SPECIAL ATTENTION OItEN To tiAt PRODUCE TRADE And Cash Pahl for ISeiratde Linda . . . . . i . . . . . I . ' , . . ' . •. , ' , ...-..,,T. , i' . IL J.- LONG. • ago;:elivzsa. STOP AT T. MUIR & FOR GROCERIES • AND PROVISIONS. -The I,l*oe to save money b myths cheep ts et timer Kahl and Yrsoldin SIMI& lOWA DA. PA.' . Tiny neyoittally soaccaoa to tha_ public that they Lana latilliAtoril of FLOUR. nip; weAL. emu; . e4T. • FIBS .1 1 9117 L. sad PllOVlEaoss ;saintly. • • We iiave also added toasts stock a 17artetr of WOODiN WARE. each as BERMES 11788. TIE Saxe, catmace, ZTO, , Just recetied 's large stook of Swam: 'Teak Coffees, Spices. ' MOULISOkiII PURE SOAP; the t , .. • .., beet ICthe market, and utast mates of soap Byrue o +in d Mobilise, which low offer at lo pet , 'Cub. . - ' ' [ sot IS 11 Roos &Carriages Cheaper 4asi ever it the 6 OLD ssrAnzassmszer . 1 . . 'JAMES BRYANT, would ' - call the atten tion of FARMERS and others to his large and complete 4 ,_assortment of ppenikr, Toup,Xliiggies PLATFORM hisWAGONS -_ all of own MANUFAcTURE and war - • ranted in e*tery par-, tietdar • Bryant's Flexible Springs used In all Plitibraz Wagons. The 01111111/11 and best In nee.' NOW IS YOUR TIME TO BUY! Look et these figures Two Seated Carriage' ism 5150 to $175 Photons. one seated • 121 to 150 Top Buggies 125 to 15.1 Opera Ragg Democrat es Wagons • 00 to 100 _ , • 90 to 110 Remember that the above are all !tally warrant. ed, first-class or no pay. Repairing promptly &Melded to at 25 per Goat below last Toms prices. Officeand Plactory oor. 'Calais& illiaabani lita. JAB BRYAN?. 2tfe 1032• I t 1 1 JOB ;RINTING OF ALL KINDS as =bort notice and eametidge Mao THE MOST EiCCCIWiFt7I, ftklff:DT covered. as it is certain in its , effects a%;:1:-; boll blister. Also excellent for human 1:5.6 BeAD PROOF BELOW. • PROM COL. L. T - ..FOSTrIt; • ••: Youngstown, Ohio, May it:t%, Dig.D. J. &UDALL k Co:—I had a very cal , a ble Rambletonlan celt which I wiz - et ly. he bad s huge bone spavin ott °tie lo:ct ar.l inialli moon the other which undo Li j; , lame; I had him under the charge of tw. nary surgeons which failed to cure Liu, oneday reading the - advertisement • • , • swift Cure in the Chicago Extirpss, emit at once, to try - ;t, and got our to send for It, theytirdered three bott,es . them all and tliought'l would give it a t1.•4 4 ;-,;.: tll4, I used it according to directions : fourth day the colt ceased•to be 1au.e.1%.: ••• lumps have disappeared. I used buil t . : , and the colts limbs are as free from hags as smooth as any horwin the state, s tirely cured. The cure was so rsm ar k a ,, , 4 I let two of my neighbors have tikP m , two bottles, who Are now ruing it. - Very Beipectiolik, L. T. Kendall's :spavua cu re ON HUMAN FLESH:'' 'llPatten'll lffilli, - Wash'ton co.. N.Y., 14,t, Ds. M. J. KL7DALL„ Dear 81r:-1 Le part,uar cessren which; used your liendall's S a was a malignant sale sprain of •ixtett :La standing. I had tried many things. 1.1 , a; .% Your tterill -Cure knit the foot to again, and for the met time since 1. it, a natural position. for a family liu:u.,%t ,•1 oels anything weever used. Yours, truly, IBEX. M. P. BEL:. Pastor of M. E: curarcii,.Pattfrna M.... ••; • i • Price $l, per bottle. or six bottles; i••.r A;1 Druggists have It or can get it ter be sent to any address ' on receipt of I. ' rta t • proprietors, DE. li. J.. KENDALL k „. Marsh Falls. Vt. Sold at .• 1 Dr. 11. C. Poster's thug' St6c KLINE'S .MARKET MO 131,t a more convenient. location, arol himself in the Carroll Block, opPoct- :••• Hotel, is prepared to supply hie patr,t,. nig/CHOICEST OF MEATS. -F/SM,;OYSTERS IN MEDI SEA:- FRESH VOETABLEN, . DOMESTIC FRUIT ~ /MVO Main . Street, l'irst.Watil JOHN W. KLINE. IN - MG fIE3TOVED FIN MEAT&VEGETABLE th /LFLKET sir BOLOGNA SAUSAGE.* specialty. Ay.r. des% promptly deliveted.. t? You need nit Die to II in IN THE MUTUAL ENDOW MEN T AND A;CININT AS30;;ATI:11 Of MAN' N. I' You 'receive one-half of your lnsara ;e; ac cording to the American Life Table. when tv) thirds of your life expectancy is ilutsto,!.-1.1 illustration, a man or woman Joining the elation at 34 years of age taking a certiacsftf:r 12,500, receives 11,275 when little aket of age, exactly the period in life when financial help is generally more need,d tax a: any other time. " BLADES EWERS, ' General Agents for l'eLt'a June2tt T EL F.: itwAildas'tt - Sitge _ . MAIN .11JE - NEXT DOGS TO FELCH 111 Is preparat to offer rt cinplv'e merit of - DRY AND FANCY GlioDi, CrocVety, Glassware, WHITE and DECORATED Latest designs.ami patters,,, MAJOLICA BIRD CAGES, SATCHELS, &C .For. the coming Spr Trr.k. -adfiere.as heretofore tu ,i)ur principle-that a quick Nile «ith prOfit is better than a s'.ow• or;e large profit—and - therefore our in any line of goods will con•pr" favorable witlf,=the-prke:4 ‘)f hous4. . . . /tarWe esrideavor to sei tho article fcir the least roisible • m 3-041 • LOEWUS .& FREIMUTH. • SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT JAMES McCABE. HAS REMOVED 1118 CUOCERY THE SOUTH-EXET CORNER OF 11A/N AND BRIDGE BTREErs; BE HAS ESTLIILISHED - • 1 - Et6ad Quart