.. .. . , " - ',-!,—‘ --,.. - - --. :-- . . . _ .. i.. . . e . .... - .4.741..;: 4,- .,, c -L- s7-1 10 F1- I _, --1, - , Aucill r-r- ,-.. 1 74 6 ) . : C - ri - C-'' '• , AP , t.. .•.,,,. ....... ..,.....,,,,..„0„, • _ ~.._ .... ' -- IC -, _ , 111 HOLCOMB & TRACY, Publishers. • VOL. VII. B radford Republican, riushau. , eye!" . Thursday at Towanda, Pa., 14. 11%11.c%%%1i: TRACY, Prop rietors. • • - paid iu advance. $l.OO per annum ; 1. it maid its Branca $1.25. To subacribera out t.th,:zocutl, $1,25. invariably in etylttice, the aa & L ou i.eiqg made to cover prepayment of t.gr. IMI Adortisiii Bates :--Six cents a line for Arst 11,,,rtical, au t Ave cents per line for all iiribazu ut int,rtylna. Beading notice advertlying - to , 0 . nta p. r line. Fight lines constitute a and (waive lines an - inch, Auditor's ~tic Z 's V 2.50. Administrator's and Ittecutor°l i yearly advertising $150.00 per TUE iii:PIIBLICAX Is pubiLslied In theTY. goon and Nobles Block, at the corner of Mit awl Nue atrerts, over J. E. Coffee. Boot and Shat itoru. Its circulation is over 2000. As an aasertisiui; medium it is unexcelled in its irn. moliate lir .1„ - Our i tubbing Terms. furnish - tai paying tramicribera for itcrrimicart within the county with any of tte publications, until further Lotiee, at the rates given below. • Tae ItcrunicaN $l.OO in addition. ~ertoers residing out of the county will eeuts additional. :5;..! , i - Vtlrk Weekly Times,.... • . ..... $ 95 5,. 1 ,,,-Weekly Time 5,...."... - . 2 30 ' New lurk Daily Tribune,, 9 25 We,•kly " 100 S. 'hi -Weekly _ " 260 Nov Yolk Daily Evening Post, 8 00 " Weekly " " .'.. 115 Ai ~,m-Weekly 14 2 25 St.w lurk Weekly World, ..... ~.... 100 Semi -Weekly " .., 190 • Philadelphia Daily Times, 5 65 • Philadelphia Weekly Times, 1 30 Philadelphia Daily- Press, 8 00 Putlatie!tibia Weekly : Press, .. ... .. 1 0 Harper's Magazinei. —, ' ~ 3 1 10 Ilarp,r's Weekly, 1 - • - 325 Ilarver'i , Bazar, - 325 Bc.ribtier's llontlily,i.... ' 3 25 tit. NicLolas, - - 250 Appleton's Jourual;.... 2 85 with steel engraving of Dickens.. 8 10 Popular Science Monthly - 400 Supplemeut,.... 250 Magazine of American 'History 4 00 ' North American Review. 4 00 5..4 York Medical Journal, 3 25 American Agriculturist, ' 1 10 Comitry Gentlemen , . , 2lO Rural New Y0rkei,..,... 185 Toledo Blade, -- • 160 Littell's Living Age, 7 00 Atlantic blot:ably, - , .. 325 Wide Awake, 1 66 Ragland,'''. - 60 Lippincott, S 25 Demoresti - 2 50 Gurley, - 165 Scientific American, ' - - . 275 Petersop's.Magazine, 1 60 The Nursery, , -.. 1 20 _Farmer's Review - ' 1 • Burlington - Rawkeye, - 1 50 - New England Journal of 'Education.. 9 t' li•qlall's Treatise on the Horse A rriyal and Departure of Maibh lfaila arrive and depart at the Towanda Post, 432.1..0 as follows: Phil., R. Y., and Eastern States Dashore, Lapoyte, 6:c 1.. V, way m ail from the North s.6,9 , hequiu &c Ner: Ent. &C.. Tuesday, Thursday and sstnnia . y., ..... WednesdAy mid 11;iday Tray. Ilsurlington. kc Rome, ko 1!00 awed pouch from Erie and FOR Rs 2:30 L. V. way mail from the South.— . 4:35 ovaba. /cc 5100 .12,re rity 8;31:1 CI oseid vouch from Elmira and E ft It 10:40 11121:2 tau ton, Montoeton. !cc ... . ..... ~.... 9:00 a. at. l.,lligli Valley way roll' Sorith...i 9:IS t. 1, , s e 4 pouch Elmira, Erie and North 'ern Central Bailroads 10:00 Troy, Burlington, tio 10:00 hhesuequin, So 12:00 at: . Larclay 1:00 P. Y. Nov Era, Tuesda.y Thursday and Sat. , urday... ,10:i0 Asylum, Monday, Wednesday and ..- ' ' Friday i • . 1:00 Lella`yerille, Rome, s:c 1:00 Puatore, kc.... 2:45 I.elligh Valley way mall North ' -- 9:45 ew Vnrk Phila. sad Eastern States. 7:45 •,:11.-., open from 7:00 s. te. to 7:45 P. Y. Money .:timer office open from 8:00 A. tr. to 7:00 P. Y. office open on Sunday from 9:00 to 10:00 A.*. P. Po WELL. P. M. ThGH VALLEY 4 PENNA. AND NEW YORK RAILROADS. ARRANGEMENT OF PASSENGER TRAINS TO TAKE EFFECT ML 15, 1880. EASTWARD. . STAINS. ~r ee . ••• ' ftre '1 i. !.._. . 1P.31.1A.U. A.M. P.M. Niagara Fells 1 2.051 7.20 1 7.16 Builato • 2.501 - 8.25 1 9.20 Rochester 1 5.1 a 10.30 ..... Lyons a.raIIZOL ..„ ... .. Elenevs ' .4.54 1 11.55 1 -... ..... - -Ithaca. a.ss l 1.1108.3 it..... Auburn 5.101 8.05 1 Owego... 9.00 10.50 1 . . Elmira 9.101 IASI 6:iii WI! Waverly 9.45 2.10 9.40 4.11 Sayre 110.10 2.0010z0 i.: Athens 11.0.151 2.3410.05 CI 514150 10.15 .... i Meter, lo . 2s .. . I-Jnauds t 04613.001043 50! Wyssuking . 1 , .1.110.54 a. - - St-andiug Stone .. ... 11.03 ... Ruunnerfteld . .....1.••.• 11.10 1' 5.2i irenchtown.. ...... : ... ....1 ..... . .111.164.•. , Wyalusing . 1 i.• 16 11.30 i iS.il Lacerville 111.111 3.54111.49 1 6. 0 : skluner's Eddy 1 I 11.531 G.o Mesboppen 1 1 4.10 { 12.1 0) 6.2 Stelteopeny ~....112.16 6.7 f l uuktunnock 12.25 4.35 1.00 Ti • LaGrange - 1.10 7.!1 ~ 1 alle ..... 1.25 7. i. t. 11 Juncuon .. ..... ..... 1 1.05 6.101 1.45 8. w.lk. A.Rarre.... - , 1.55 5.25 2.20 8. Slaucn Chunk .. I 3.45 7.30 4.60 U. Allentown . 14.44 8.24, 5.53 12: lie - tnleb.ena 5•00138•35, 6.0512•. Easton 5.301 9.00 6.40,12.1 Pli Lia,lelphia.... 6.55'10.351 8.251 2.7 Sew York 8.05, I 9.151 3.7 A.M. P.M. P.M. P.l WESTWARD. STATIONS. how 'York Puiladelphla Elsa ton ...... hothlehern Allentown Mauch. Chunk.. Wilke a.llarre... L LI Junction Falls .... LaGrange.......:. TnuLLautiock Steil ooßany Sizinuer's • • • • * l ' Lace yville Wyalusing ........ Ernudatown. Itunanaerneld standing 5t0tt5......... Wysmuking Towanda Plater Athena .......... ~„ Siky re Waverly - • Elmira t/WegO Auburn... Ithaca Geneva Lyons ... . • liocileater Buffalo Niagara Ealle I ti.oo , .. 1 9.20 1 9.50 1 10.051 ....... ...'11.05 1,35 No. 32 leaves Wyatt:sing at41:00, a. M., Preneh. lawn 4.14, Rummer:leld 6.23,Btanding Stone 611 Wtsuuklng GAO. Towanda 6.53. Mater 7.06, iltlst 7:16, Athena 1:25. Sayre 7:40, Waver 1Y 7:55. arriving at Elmira 8:50. No:31 laves llmirsls:4s P. IL. Waverly 6:35, Sista G:l5, Athena 6:50. Milan 649, Ulster 7:06, Towasda 7;23, Wyssuking 715. Standing Stone 7.11. Rommerneld 7:52, Prettebtown 8:04.. arrlw mu at Wpinaing at 8:1.5. 1 rains 8 and 15 run daily. Sleeping ears on, t a and 15 between Nina" labs and PMb detpltta and between Lyons and New York with• out changes. Parlor we on Trains 2 and 9 between Magus 'Ma and Philndelphis with• out change, and through coach to and fiVl3 I:4:wheats: via Lyons. STEVENSONEvt. savr.t. Pa., May 15,1881. k 16: x !. X. a. • Liontit luile t intik Id Prices showier thin tbs they WYBOZ.PA Toaratida Bistnep DtrOory:::, Arroßik SFS- Ar-Law. SMITH & HILL/ 1 3, 40torneys4I-Law; Op, over k Co. (CLIFF. J. N.. Althea to Wood's Block. south No Rest Stational Bank, up stairs. Juoo 12.18 LBBRIEB do SON (N C Eisbree and L Asbrre.) E •Office LA Kercur Block. Park Bt. ma 714,78 MA; MILTON VW I P -41 - ei and D Orr- I. Moe over Mira Market 49'79 MERTON k SANDERSON (H Orerto• and "As OPSanderimi (Main /mmo atlek.barTS AXWELL. Wit. Office Oil? toyfon's Store • &pi-1114.76 . • WILT. 4. ANDII.FIV. 0124.1 a Mesa's' Slosh apt 14.76.-.: M 4; YLES, CARNOCILLE HALL. (W. T Dacia. . 1 • 7 vra Canso:has; L AI" Mal.) Mice in - rear' 4.1 Ward House. Entrance on Poplar St. ae12.115 MITMk WONKY A. Solicitor of Patents. arUcular attention paid to business in Orphans' Court and to the aCttlement of estates. Mos in Siontanye's 4949 ?a °PHERSON & YOUNG, (1. McPherson awl ML W.L Young.) OBlce south side of liercnion Block. lob MS AKADILL & KINNEY, Office corner Kim and LY•B.I tna st. Noble's block. second, floor trout. CaUnctions promptly attended.to. teb 118 VTILLIAME. ANGLE BUFFINGTON. (11 )1" Wallows, E J An& and D BselagtosiL Offfoa west aide of Main street. two doom north‘ of Argos office. All ttudness entrusted to their care will receive prompt attention. oct 26.77 MASON k THOSIPSON. (O. P. Mum. S. 4. am& Tkozsiison,) Attorneys.at.Law: BPeolla-ot• 0 1010 0 to eolivolonring, examination of. title and all matter relating to real estate. Collar.; glens promptly remitted. Caw over Patch lk Tracy!a store. • . warlo43l. JAMBS H. ANDJOICVN. CODDDW, Attot *nye and CotusselloreAt-Law. 00Ice In the Berens Block, over C. T. Elrb,T's Drug Store. • Suly 3, 'SO ti. 17PESEY, J. P. Attorney -It-Law. OSlco• in .16n. Iliontanye's Block, Main Street. Sept. 15, rriIIOMPSON, W. H. and 3. A.. Attorneys-at Law, Towanda, Pa. Office in Marcus Block. over C. T. Eirby's Drug Store, entrance on Main street, first stairway north of Post-office. All businesspromp_tly attended to. Special atten tion given to claims against the United States for PensloLe. Bounties, Patents. etc., and to collections and settlement of decedent's ester. April 21. 17 • JOHNSON. T. D., M.D. °Mee over Dr. IL C Porters's Drug Store. feb 12,78 MERTON, Drs. D. N. &1.0. Mee at Dingling lA on River Street, corner Weston St. tab 19,77 LAMD, O. K.. M.D. °Moe Lt door above old bank building. on Main street. gpseLsl at tention given to diseases .of the throat and lungs. 311159.78 IWOODSI3ItI3. S. M.. M.D. Mies sad resi dence. Main street. north ot M-.E.Church. Medical Examiner for Pension De osrtntent. - teb22.78 • rIATNE. E. Office over Mantaxiye's 4. Stare. Office hours frOm 10 to 11.8.5. sad tram 2 to 4 P. It: Special: attention given to Diseases of the Eye, sad I:diseases of the Ear. oct 20.77 rrENRY HOUSE. Main at.. - fiext &corner south of Bridge street.' Hew house and new furniture throughout. The proprietor has spared neither pains or expense, in making his hotel first-class and respectful} - 10Hulis $ •Lure of public patronage. Heals at aU hours. Terms reasonable. Large Stable attached. mar 8 77 WH. EMMY. 4.00 4. ig 9.30 10,00 11:00 MEI WATKINS POST. 1.i0. - 68. G. A. It. Meets every Saturday evening, at Military Hall. ; GEO, V. MYER., Commander. J. R. Krrramor, Allis/ant. _ !et, 7, 'l9 1 :00 P. Id CISTAL LODGE. NO. 57. , Sleets at N. of P Bell every Monday, evening at 7:30. Ia sonnet $2,000. Benefit' p.OO per week. Aver 'go anew coat, 5 years everienoe. $ll. Z . EtTrItIDGE. acrokr. Stew WAnners.. Jn., Dictator- - • - BRADFORD LODGE. N 0.167,. 1 67, I. 0. 0. F. Meet in Odd Fedlow's Bill. aver/ Monday evening &t 7 o'clock. • Wannsit Buz, Noble Grand. June 12,15 'POST. F. E. No. 32 Second street. All orders a; - will receive prompt attention. June 12,7 k RYAN, G. W., County Superintendent. Office days last Saturday of each (month, over . Turner k Gordon.' Drug Store. Toivanda Pa. iuly 19,78 O n trEQUEEIKENA COLLEGIATE OSTITUTE. h. , The Fall Term of twenty-eight year cona r :peaces on Monday, October slat, 1881. Forests love or other Information, address or call 91 the Principal. I • Lily 19.78 00SSELL. 0. S. General Insurance Agency, .15 Ln Towanda. P. cats in Whitcomb's Book Store. jnlyl2.l; • ao .$4 ••• friolfNEß. If. Ti.. 1103e201fATIIIC PECINECUS & 8172011 Mr. Residence and office just north of Dr. Corbon's is Vein street. Athens. Ps. NEW FIRM I NEW STORE! NEWSOM 1 , i [d.,Midestiii I a 30 I 1! I 6.30' A. 21.4-31 IP. ' I 7.413 1 3. • ..... 9.00 4. 1 .. 10.15 5. 1 . .. 1 10.45 6. 1 .. 10.54 0. 111.65 I. F. 00! 2.03 9. I 6.25' 2.25 10. 1 7.02 i ....110. 1.%.. 10. 7.33 1 5. 0310.1 7.57-. .IL. 8.011 3. 28 It.' 8.19; ....Ill.: 8.2313.46 11.1 8,43 4.03 11.! 8.551 •...112.1 9.0 a t -12.1 940 1 • -. 1 ,12.1 9.191 • 112.1 19.30; 4 43 12.4 ~, 9.431 4.5512.! 19.52; .... 1.1 4.30 10.001 6.i 1.1 4.40110.11i1 5120 1 1 ' .l 1 43'40.20 5.30 1.: 5.2511.10 6.15 2.1 3.391 .... 0.25 .; , 6.30 f . !.. .0. 55 • • 5.10' ila 6.40 ~, 7.41 5.00 8.14 .. 8.40 . i 8.50 .. 9.50 t 7.40 i 9.40 .. 21,40 12.06 It.t 1 1.031 i 1.08 9.4 k PX. P,III. IX. A:II, PATiON'S BLOCH ( With Swarts & Gorden's Store '4 , 4. • 1 Main Street, Towanda, Pa., DC Dm GY6fili — fa - Ws -0--'- I JS HOTELS. SECRET soctEnss. HOUSE AND SIGN PAINTING BOVVATIONAL EDWINE. 4—to PLUMBER ,AND GAS FITTER. wytiriAstFl. EDWARD. Practical Plurciber„ and Qua Fitter. Place of business in Mei = Block nest 'door to Journal office o ppos ite Public Square. Plumbing, Oss Fitting, rig Pumps of all kinds. and all kinds of Oearing promptly attended to. All wanting work in his ne should give him a call. Silly SIM INSURANCE MISCELLANEOUS. DLEVaII UOTIBE,ELSIIRL, 11. T. C. T. Smith. formerly of the 'Ward Fiona% Tovrands, Pro: prietor. This Hotel is located immediatly opposite the railroad depot, Every pains taken for the comfort of guests, 5n175,11 (Formerly with Ilendeynan,) lIAS OPENED A Jewelry Store OF MS OWN is e Where he keeps a FULL . AI22OIIE.IMIT or 09 a il Gold & Silver Watches SWISS AND AMERICAN; El CLOCKS, JEWELRY, SPECTACLES, ETC. .. .. /fir His Stock 4 all NEW and of the:FINEST .. ()Mai. OW and see for Yourself. OD REPAIRING DONE PROMPTLY. t - • EI4OIIWIDIG SPECILLTY. 4 •-:,A S. ICENDAWS SPAM CURE Is sue in its - effects, mild In its action as it does not blister. yet is penetrating and powerful to reach every deep seated pain or to remove any bony growth: or other enlargements. snob is swifts. splints. curbs. callous. sprsins, loge and anylemenees and sit . =kluge:neut. ot the joints or limbo. or in rheumatism in man 1 and for any purse for which a liniment is used for man or bust. /I is, new known to be the beat liniment for mat over vaed.setiog mild and yet certain in its effects. Send address for Illustrated Ciretda which we Oink gives positive proof of its virtnes. No remedy Melva:melt With such unitwslititd emu to our knowledge. for beast as - well $ men: Price $1 per bottle. ot sir totUes tor $5. AU Droggists Uwe Itor am get it for yen. or it will bo sent to any address on reoeipt of price by the proprietors; Va. B. J. Samos& & Co.. Eno. burgh rano. , Debi by in Druggists. • CUM UM - OMIT lii E • • C U __kiktefie,e; Ague s swieurna- Wimp /prop*, earl Dieetuie, loWenesiVNerveus debility, ete. rho ItostptitlN =ON to Man! 111,000,000 Bonito, , This Syrup passesses Varied .Properties. It Stimulator the Ptyalin' In the Saliva, which converts the Starch and Sugar of the rood into glucose. , A del. cleat,' In Ptyalin" cameo Wind and Searlag of the rood In the stoarseh. Ii the medicine is taken Inevesdiatelyaties eats the fermentation of Sled is pre. It acts ofa Ow Liget% It acts. ite.lifil wd dtusw. It. the Stood. • - e It the 'ergots. Itysilonsw • A matte Dtkpatkna. . - It Newish" St ettautitetta toad Istgeorstas It tarries er emi Ord Mood and asahar net n mow the penes"! tire skin end induces away Perspiration. i i It neutralises thehereditatrorpoisas inalood•wbisil generates ols . Err el sadallnianner of skin diseases and 1 in humors. There are no spirits employed in its, mann. lactems ort can be taken by the most dell eats babe s by tbe aged and feeble, comma/ being sequin ed is attention re directions. lIIITGOISTS WELL IT. Laboratory, 77 Weiit a 4 f4r, Ashland, Bcbnyhil co.. Pt. Desk' Bir:—This it to certiO that your INDIAN BLOOD BYRUP hie benefited I sue more. after a short trial. than ell the medicine I have used for 15 year , Dear have used your excellent INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP for Disease pt the Stomach, and it has proved to be a valuable medicine. 3lns. J. Armax. Nervous 'Debility. . Turtle Point, lickean co., Dear Sir:—l was troubled with Nervous De. billy and partial Paralysis, for , a number 01 years, and obtained no relief until I used your INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP, * short trial of which restored me to health. Dear Str:—Sly little girl was mired of Inflam mation of the Face and Eyes, by the use of your reliable INDIAN-41MM SYRUP. A physician had previously failed to afford relief and it was thought that the child could not live. Its neck and breast was entirely covered with Scrofulous . Sores, which' are now entirely gone. - - s Waanme Swim. - Sure Cure for ,Liner Complaint Dear Sir;—Tkds T ra t o in ftint. McK y . ean r e : " P 4 . lf . BLOOD SYRUP has t o c ertify me p o f Liver Complaint and Dyspepsia, after the'doe tors failed. Remedy for the Rhenmatlom. • Turtle Polak McKean* co., pa, Dear Str:—l have used your excellent INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP for Elbenuotism and Liver Com. plaint, and have detived great relief therefrom, Dawn Snetson. An Agent's Teilimony. Tdrtle Point, McKean co., P. • Dear Sir was a lifelong sufferer from Liver Complaint until I used your great INDIAN DLOOD SYRUP. from, which I soon obtained permanent relief. : I also And the Byrnp to be a valuable Dora Regulator. Hamm C. Eftuesos. • A. Vidnabie Medicine. Berlin. Somerset CO.. Pa. Dear Str:—This is to certify that your reliable INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP is the best medicine ever used in my ismily. Roping the public will be beneAted by this great remedy, I take great pleasure in giving mY testimony of its value...- Josses P. Baussiir.n. !MI lIINLkN Dyspepsia and Indigestion. --, 7 Berlin, Somerset Co., Pt. Dear rite pleasure in recenuesedlett your. INDI&N BLOOD SYRUP as the best medi cine made: People who are Dyspeptic should not tall to give it a trial. For tue Stomach it bas no equal. I haveltued it and know It to be a valuable medicine,- 'Barns EXIINUSCINB. Berlin; Somerset Co., Pa. Dear Sir:—l was. troubled pith Liver. Com plaint for • long time, and by the persuasion of your Agent, I commenced taking your excellent INDIAN BLOOD STlCUP.uhich has greatly baie ated me. 1 have never found any medicine to equal it, and r e metly say tt is a safe and highly valuablemedy. Berlin, Somerset Co., Pa. Sear was &Mated with a Pala .tn my Breast and Side. and when I would Se down, I could sanely breaths for Pain, I was also very weak in my Breast and Lungs. I used some of your INDIAN BLOOD SIRUP and am now sear. lone well. My Lungs are strong ones more and I am very grateful to 70u for such a valuable remedy. • - • Philadelphia, Ps. Dear Slr:—This is to certify that your Talus. ble OMAN BLOOD SYRUP has cured me-of Dyspepsia snd Indigestion, which I had, been afflicted with for years. . • 'Or.eisol M. Erslor. . . • • For Kidney Diseases. Philadelpbfa, -Pa. Dear Sir:—l wbs subject to severs Pains in my Kidneys, Weakness and Painful Sick litaillae, for years. and Wed to obtain relief. until I was induced to try your reliable INDIAN BLOOD SYSUP.s abort Arial of which restored nt• perfect kealtb. No. 1525 Bartram St, Philadelphia; 'Pa. Dear Sir:—lvras troubled with Costivenes and Headache, sod the nee of your INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP proved moat beneficial to roe. the best Medicine I ever need. 1 Jas. Dawn. No.Bll Federal fit. I. For Blitiononeso. Philadelphia. Pa. • Dear Sir: —I. was befitted with DPlPeOelik sad BUlionsness for years, and dined to procure re. lief until I began using your INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP, which soon - effectually relieved me. I take great pleasure in recommending Its use to the afflicted. FILM T. Goma; Uwast St Disease of the Stomach and, Liver. " _ • Bushell. Pike CO., Ps. ' Dmir 131r:—.This is to eerti4 that I have used your INDIAN BLOOD SUM' for Disease of the Stomach mid Liver, and hsva _•been much beim. Ited4thsrebv. - Best Famfly Medicine. • Busbkill, Co.. PL. Dear 84-4 emitter your reliable =DIM BLOOD SYRUP the:beet snoilleine lever used So ml isokity. r it to pat V tecookeuelded. I Within. Wirth% ' • Itmedy for,Verms. , Dear filet-1 tome used your great lIIDIAIf dBLOOD SYRUP to my tinily for Worm sad' er Complaint, boa it Us provod ellectusl' In glasses. TOWANDA,. 13RAIWORD Ml= CORES 111.113USIS Of THE STOIIIOI, fl S, $lll, BLOOD. sena' SUMS U7O. NEW TURN CITY, Never falls to Cure. B. B. BruatAw 'Disease of the Stomach. Mtt=!tMl D. C WlNsaw For Serofab. Turtle Point, llicltean to., Pe F. KBIBIIOP Uvei Cosiphint. Paln in the Breast Dyspepatli any] bullgeatlon. For Costiveness. J~ TIIO3tAs Sever Falls to Care. , _ Boadkin. rte. Co.. Ps. Dear Bir:—f daughter:... Da , Poor, Width and ••shoat triel of lone Illman Dungy gum entirely cured her. BLOOD ACWINTS ' ot WANrE the D W I" the ils" MVP to wen tows no WI& ‘POlnolthno W est toMPUrsoola• THE EBB AND FLOW. The tide slips up the silver shore, Dark‘nighi and rosy' day; It brings sea-treasures to the land, Then bears them all away. On mighty shores ftom east to west It wails, and gropes. and cannot rest. O Tide. that Mid doth ebb and tow Through nightto golden day : • . • Wit, learning, beauty, come and • , Thou &Wel, thou tak'st away. . But sometime, on some gracious shore, Thou shall he still and ebb no more. ; • If2le ' n M. Hutchinson. WS PORTNAJtr OP NEB. Here is the face of my lady, ,1 ` Her face with its smile divine, Her eyes, with theft grave intentness, And their:thy, proud look at mine. O mouth, you are firm yet tender, Your tones may be cold r "or mild, yoti may keep back a daring lover, Yet comfort a grieviag child. • You are pure atel - fair as the es, '- You are bright as the July so n; You are grave and gay by flashes, You are roman and paint in One. —Kale L. Brown, in Boston 'Val/script JOHN'S LITTLE JOKE. " 'Well, I 'scum P exclaimed Uncle Phil Wheeler, in his his characteristic Gray, floishicg the speech with a pro longed, whistle. • -*What is the matter, UnelePhil 7 - 'Rey 'What's the matter ?' 'Why, your aunt Susan just bought another bureau The speakers were Mr. Philip Wheel er, commonly called Uncle Phil, and his handsome, l devil-may-care nephew, John Landon. Uncle Phil was stand ing under the big brown horse•chestnut tree, whittling a new handle for his hammer, when a bay wagon containing a bureau, stopped before the gate. 'Whose bureau's that ?' I demanded Uncle Phil. 'lt'a for Bliss Wheeler.' was the an• surer.. 'She bought it dovin at Squire ThomSe'S auction.' - 'Well, I IMUM John Langdon, just coming from the woodhonse armed cap•a pie, with rod and line, heard the exclamation and in qu,red the cense. 'So Aunt Susan has: bought another bureau, has she ?' be resnariled, aft*r moment's scrutiny of that 'awful piece of household furniture. say, Uncle Phil, where is she going•to,Put it r . 'Hey ?' ejaculated Uncle Phil, staring bard at his nephew over his silver= bowed specs. 'Where is she going to put it ?' • Unell Phil shook his bead and redcw ed his whining. 'l'm blamed if I kcow,' ho said at last. 'I reckon 'twill have to set atop of snmthing, for I don't believe therels f icwlrMA f2l, in th ; I shall protees against a fourth,' laughed John. %Ault Swan,' addressing ,thut, lady, who Lppeared on the - 'piazza to superintend the removal Of her newly acquired treasure from the cart tothe house, where are .you going to put that thing ?' John, if you want ; it. why of course you can have it; buti I did think I'd put it in the battery, it would be so hanoY — ' 'By all means,' interrupted John; 'the buttery is just, the place for it; three are as many as I can occupy, inas much as I only brought a band-beg along on my , little visit. If you were to give me a fourth, I should be reduc ed to the necessity of remaining in bed in order to use it.' 'Oh, go away, 'you rogue; cried his aunt, looking lovingly kt him; 'arm stop laughing at your old Untie. Here you,' in alarm to the driver. 'Take care there, you'll have that leg off I' Hold on to the glass I My I my I How careless you be I' After much anxiety on Aunt Susan's part; 'hair breadth escapes on the bu rean's, and a good deal of harmless swearing, such as, 'I snum l"hy golly r etc., on Uncle Phil's, the old ; bureau was at last deposited in the buttery, where it took up just three inahes more room than it could with any degree of propriety be accommodated with. Oen sequently, being of a firm and unyield- . jug nature, a sharp and uncompromis ing corner was thrust obtrusively and offendingly out; against which unwary toes and unfortunate shins would in all probability be frequently punished. But Aunt Susan was not • the woman to go forth to meet trouble, and lie shadow rested -upon her placid brow, nor misgivings annoyed or made afraid. The burcin *as a bargain, and that sublime fact shed inch s halo of glory over its somewhat battered surface as to completely put to rout the inconven ience of its position. - Next morning Aint Susan rose bu dgies, sent for , the woman who lived on the back road, and enjoyed a day of Viitting to rights.' Those days, in which ahe caused to be brought forth from garret, cellar and hidden store rooms, treasures collected from auction innumerable, were dear to ber heart, though abominations in the eyes of Uncle Phil, who wandered around amidst the household gods in bitterness of spirit. John watched the 'cleaning' operation with an amused smile curling the cor -1 airs of his- handsome mouth, till at lenith a bright idea struck him. Jove he muttered. believe we might do it 1 4 .Five minutes later, he might have been seen , in earnest confab with Uncle I Phil , who griimed and nodded his head in evident satisfaction, and fall approvii of the plan, whatever it Walt The day ended withfritell in the cleaning line. Before sunfioWn tin army of spotless mahogany, brass'', chins, britarmik 419 Ctai,,might have been sew ornactentng:l- - tinCo.s'hirs front yard—articles whieh..ll4.,,Wininfl rays of the Sun touched Ind caused to reflect like polished . mirrors. Bei" everything'lras replaced, the old woman departed, and quid broided over the old farmhouse once more. ' Nat day John was to return hornet" o—, and Aunt Susan was to accompany him, for the double impose of paying EnvAso Zags D. 31. BALL. Flr"'!ll".7n fll V - r "GOVEBN/11ENT OP THE PEOPLE SY THF=PEOPLE AND FOB , THE PEOPLE." lil her sister—lohres tiotherLa Visit, and witnessingthe ceremony which - should give to John a wife. This wedding arse very near to her heart; first, beartse sir loved Tohn very dearly, and second, because he had bought a lovely little nest of a home close by. her house and was—after a reasonable tripto bring hie young wife here, under Aunt Susan's motherly wing, while he began his career as a lawyer in the brisk little village near Nothing short of the immense impor"- - Mum of this event nonld have induced the good woman to Oeinnit the daring , net of risking her neck upon a railr s oad; for the twenty mile journey was as for inidable to her, with ber old-time no tions, as.would a visit to India be to a town bred man. " The morning arrived, and Aunt Su san, with many injunctions and can ticles, at last took her place in the wa gon which was' to convey her to the depot. , l. John delayedn few moments-to take special parting with Uncle Phil. What .wita said no-one beard save' the- pestle's interested; but John's low words called forth a series of energetic words from his uncle, and a dry, hart chuckle, be fraying an unusual amount of interest. The journey ended safely, and Aunt Susan was beginning to feel at home on springs, and to sleep in spite of the noise on the street, when a letter from home Completely upset the good wo man, and threatened to start her On the homeward track without delay. 'The house has been robbed,' wrote Uncle Phil. was down to see Mar thy'—his sister—laud it sot in 0 storm so bard I stayed all night. Wall, when I got borne I thought things looked sor ter queer, and sore euough, I found lots of things gone! The bureau in. the buttery, and all the ,things oaten the summer kitchen, a Okla lot of brass things from the stairway closet. and tad end of tlxin's gilt over.''' I can't see,' wrotethe.old gentlemai ri 'as any close or silver has been took, and I guess the thievis must hey kuowed of your bar ging and come fur them special. I've beard they set stores buy them in big places. I reckon at a ruff gees we'ire lost aboht ffveburows, three sophies and six or seven parlor stoves, to say noth ing of phiny and brass things.' To sa4 that Aunt' Susan was stunned . would be but faintly to express her state of mind; but she determined: : John's happiness shOuld-not be diromed by her anxiety. awl so by a- great effort ale ancceeded in overcoming her despond ency iseumini a cheerful face. The wedding-day came and passed. John and Mary were bound in the holy bonds of wedlock, and bad departed on their bridal trip. omjile e ,1111491C4.41 days to to the even tenor of hertiget and waited with what patience - Abe t could for John's return. - Uncle Phil was , waiting tod—silently, but no less anxiously. In fact, a little air mystery hung over the old house and hid shyly away amidst the wrinkles f the kindly old faces of its excellent earner. Uncle Phil had some secret he did not tell Aunt Swan, and Aunt 811- agn and some secret she did not confide tb Uncle Phil, and stranger still, each, sus so engaged with his own as to be perfectly oblivious of 'the other's pos session. Only one person San, understood, en joyed and remained silent—Uncle Phil's sister, Martha. The summer's heat slowly died out, and autumn` as beginng to paint the tree-tope in the gloriei . of red and gold, when John wrote that he was coming , with his wife to take np his home in the little house. They ikere to remain at Uncle Phil's till their 'house -was ready. , ' Of 'course everything was on Up-toe, Aunt Susan caused a supply of plea and cakes to be baked that would have victualed. ; a man-of-war; while Uncle Phil spent the entire , day shaking out. buffalo robes, and polishing up the old carriage and wagon. Train time came; so did John and Mary, and the old people drove them home from the depot critti great pride, under the scrutinizing gaze of the en tire village eye; so to speak• Tea was soon ready, but not so soon but Untie , Phil had found time to divulge his secret to John, for from the %madhouse came a lbw' murmur of voices, with now and then a hearty peal of laiighter in John's clear voice min glad with Uncle Phil's low guffaw. Twice did _Aunt Susan call out and demand to know the joke, and twice , did she get her trouble for her pains, for no hint was given. After tea the whole,party strolled down to the new houie. Now_ it was Aunt Susan's turn. With a prouil step she marched ahead and opened the door of the house, a faint flush, on her I withered cheek. Mary followed closely, but John stood rooted in the hall, star ing blankly and stupidly into the little joarler. - _ Certainly there Isis nothing there Which. ought to frighten two full-grown , men—only four or -five bureaus of some what antique design, several tables with Massive pedestals and .claw feet,, two sofas large enongh.to acceinmoiat the 4pre historic man' we hear about and a goodly assortment of clocks, and irons, shovels, etc. 'You don't seemed to be pleased,' said /taint. Susan in a crestfallen manner, her kind old voice, trembling 'a little. *Now I thought yen would be tickled about to death ,with them I found them all in 0-- (Prude Phil and johi exchanged guilty loose), and I was to took aback at losing mine, and I notic ed you looked kinder red and cut up the morning the news comes, so thought to myself. just buy these for you. John. This, here' bur con'—placing here d lovingly on- a large and imposing piece of furniturfr-- 'did look so exactly like the One / bought of Squire Thomas and had in buttery, that I couldn't help gifting it You know you kinder wanted It, Jobi,the night it come home, aid I ales felt sorter mean that I (Udall girt it to you then; so as soon as I sot my eyoe on this one I upland bought it and. seat it down with - the - rest o unbeknown to anybOdy, so as to surprise you. You didn't even mom* did yea, Phil ? But Uncle Phil was still speeehlees;- and even JOhn's ready tongrie refused to doltausurd work. Wile they yet stood, a silent and crestfallen group, a shrill, - high treble broke upon the - silende, and Aunt Wasn't came walking in. , Wall I" I do, say you look meeching enough l I told you, Phil, that Susan 'would Snd you out I Ithought I should burst when Susan went to Caleb to go 'down to the , depot, and haul up these . things just ten &rya after he hauled um down, through as far that, 'Was dark enough when be took um down, be ige g night—' - At this awful stage John recovered himself sufficiently to confront Aunt Martha and by dint of winks and nods make her underst.sild that she was Mak iag a mess of it. . Poor %still' stared, as opened mouthed as the rest; but the warning bad - chino too late; Aunt Susan was by no means slow, and the whole plot was as plain as daylight to her. "AndliO, Philip Wheeler," she burst out with withering scorn, 'you thought %would be line fun. to deceive me with your trtunpt up story of theives that has made the shiver's sun down my back every night since I came home 1 Oh, you needn't say nothin"--as Uncle Phil attempted to speak--'it's mity honest, mehbe, and does great credit to your profession. As fur you, John, I wouldn't have bel'ved you , would bey treated your old auntie in snob a way. You ken take them old things and send um back to 0—; I hate the sight of um I' And Aunt Bann fairly broke down, and bowing her head. on Mary's shoulder, burst - into a shower of tears which caused Uncle Phil and John to feel not, only like sneaki and ,scoundrebs, but 'like midnight assassins and burglars as well. There vas not tauch to say, but what could be said John said; he explained that no harmvas intended, and that' it was bit a foolish boyish trick, And Uncle Phil scratched his head and tried to look boyish, and failed utterly be cause he slreadyllooked so sheepish and mean. Bat Mary did just whO a 'warm hearted, clear-headed won an should have done. She kissed Aunt Swain af fectionately, and said-- 'Uncle Phil and John meant to play off a good joke on you, but you have turned the tables finely, and I am clout). ly glad—first, because Ido love to get the best of a joke, and secondly, be cause I Boat on these dear, quaiiit old tbifin...,_Why. aunty, you have . given how sweet - I'll make "this little place look.' . And so she did; so quaintly sweet, and altogether charming did the little house grow under her skillful fingers that it became' the rage. and the de mand for old things was- almost as high in Abe village as it was , in our big City, where something, always rages. John became a convert at ovary early day, and even Uncle Phil said— spun) I I didn't know the old track could look so kinder caratic,' To which Aunt Susan would reply,— 'I altars knowed 'twas iristooratio; Philip.' rThey are all very happy, and Aunt Sham has long since forgotten and for given 'John's little oke. Old Hickory's Wife. When General Jacluion was .111 candi date for the Presidency in 1828, "not only did the party opposed to abuse him for his public acts, which, if un constitutional or violent, were a legiti mate 'subject for. reprobation, but they defamed the character of his wife. Oa one occasion a newspaper published in Nashville was placed apois the General's table. lie glanced over it, and his eyes felt upon an article in which the charac ter of Mrs. Jackdon was vilolentiy as sailed.' So soon as he bad read it he sent for his trusty old ;servant, Dan woodle. 'Saddle my horse,' said - he, to him, in a whisper, 'and put my holsters on him.' • Mrs. Jackson F watched. him, 'and though she heard not a word-- she saw mischief in his eyes. The General. went out after a few moments, • when she took np the paper and understood every. She ran out, the south gate of of, the yard of the Hermitage, by which the Gemeral, would have, to pass. She bad not bee. 1. ere more than a few' sewn& befo e the General rode up with the countenance of a madman. ,She placed herielf before the horse and cried out: - 'O, General, don't gO • to Nashvilld Let that poor editor live ! Let that poor editor live ?' - 'Let me alone,' he replied, 'bow came you to know what , I was going ksr ?' She answered: 'I saw it in the pa. pee after you went out; put up your horse and go back.' • replied, furiously: 'But will go—get out of my way l' Instead of this she grasped his bridle with both hands. ' - • listeried to her: say let go my bailie 1 The * villain that reviles my wife shall not live l' • - • She grasped the reins but the tighter and began to expostulate with him, say ing that she was the one who ought to he angryi but that she forgave her-Per metitors from the bottom d her heart, and preyed for them—that he should forgive if he hoped , to be 'forgiven. At last,hy her reasoning, her entreaties,. and her, tears, she so worked neon her husband that he seemed Mollified ton *erten: Indent. She wound up bt say ! ingi • (lepers), you mail not take the life OfeVen my miler—you darenot do it for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay. shit h the Lord V ' • The iron nerved hero gaveway before Y, DECEMBER 8. 1881. ME the earnest pleading of hie beloved wife, and ieplied: • yield to you; but hal it not been for you and the words of the Almighty, the wretch should not have lived an hour.' FAC273 FOB ME C 771110178. The ancient Etrurians are said to have used lightning conduebirs. Damask bible linen was imported him France to England 'in 167 g. The natives of India say that the bays bird lights up her neat with fire flies. 1 Drowning vaus punishment men. *rued in the ehartee of Richard L only. A rhinocercuni has been kniiiin to' have been tamed to be ridden as patient )." is an elephant. A large boa in the Zoological Gar dens in _London swallowed a blanket, and disgorged it in thirty-tbrea dap , . A notion prevailed in Egypt thiit a citron,'eaten early in the morning, was an antidote against all kinds of poison. The practice of kissing is unknown among the New Zealanders, Tahitians, Australians,. Bomanlis and Esqnimaux. It is said that croons sometimes I change color. Blue and yellow . the first year have changed to ,'yellovs the sec ond. In Sicily' and the neighborhood of Naples are found huge masses of pure Dative sulphur, between lime-stone and matey. clay. - The pianoforte was invented in Ger many, and began to be popular in Eti gland and France near the close of the last century. • The most anCient of ail recipes known to us comes from Egypt. from an an cient papyrus roll, and is a recipe for hair dye. In 1444 a patent was granted John Cobbe, that," by the sit of philosophy, he might transmit imperfect metal into gold and silver. • The Gothic styleof architecture was' first adopted for churches about the eleventh century. It is distinguished by its pointed arch. The Parliament-which met in F6b ruary, 1420, was called the Parleament of Bats, since the members being order ed to wear no alrords, attended armed with clubs or bats. JosEra BABA, THE CHILD EfElto..-The etatpe of the obihl hero, Joeeph ' Bera, has heeti,ereeted in the church square at Palais' can, on which st chateau of tho Coadoes, in which he was born anti reared, ,looks down. i Joseph Bart's father was a woodranger on the PiLns- can estate of the Conde s, and his moth er was a; domestic in the chateau. She was'a widow when her son, , at!= the age His head bad 'taken fire' at a patriotic meeting where Carnot'a appgal for 450,000 men was read before !dui. The bOy learned to play th'e fife and drum, and . farbisbed the arms and cleaned the horse of a major of Spahis who had fought in India under Bussy. This officer 'le petit tambour' followed to La Vendee. To harass and throw the enemy off the track, this major often sent hie little drummer running through the bocagel to beat here and there the drum or sound the fife. Bars was one day surcrised .by a baud of peasants. lie was! a boy of ' delic4e features and aristocratic air. The Veudeans thought him some noblenian's child who had been perverted, and told him that if he criedlrive le roil' they would let ,him off. He answered by beating his dram. 'Are you .deaf?' roared a country br ute, l who took aim at Tin a republican, replied the boy. 'Ab young brigand, have a care Give up your drumming and, like us, cry, Viva le roil' 'Viva larepubliquer cried Barn. Twenty firelocks were discharged at him, and he fell dead. Horrified at the execution; the Yen- 4osns fled. Bat some of them returned Picked up the corpse, and respectfully bore it to the camp of the blues, The convention decreed a pension to Bara's mother and ordered that an engraving of the little drummer's execution should be made and hung up in every priiaary school to show what a child can do when inspired by ' a noble sentiment. Chenier, in 'Le Chant de Depart,' alludel to Baxa's execution, and David _(d'Angers)j, who found one of the engrav ings orderid by Abe convention, chose his death as a subject for his 'chisel in 1837. The statue at Palaisean repre sents the youthful hero in the uniform of a hamar. A drumstick has fallen from one of his hands, the other he still held& The boy has been strut* with the_tienty bullets, but the expres sion of heroic exultation still lingers . in 'be delicate face.- r -Pall Mall Gazette. Cimino Borer Wrrn BUN= SPCIONS —.Benjamin Brewster recently said 'Sometinies I favor limiting by law the amount of money a man shall leave bis sons. Twenty.tbonsand dollars apiece is Plenty for them. Above that it might profitably escheat to the State. The consequence would be that rich men would do good while they lived with their enormous profits. It is common to hear_beys educated by bounty to be gin -the battle of life say, 'Oh, I think I ought to have been a iich man's son !' Look; around you at the young woman in the hotel. In every pair of ear& is a, pair of big diamonds, the aggregate being right here as many diamonds as a palape contains. Yet nothing seems to accompany the dia monds but a novel. You see nobody reading anything but that. - A young woman in 'big diamonds hearing me mention Franklin once said, 'Mr. Brew ster, who was Franklin ? He , was the Inventor of printing, was he :not?' 'Yea, dear,' I said, of , printing awl of thunder and lightning.' She said, thank you r and never knew it was a reflection upon her. Now, tier mother would have known %rho. Franklin - was.' At. his" death, Washington was the richest President we ever had. He left an estate worth $800.000." ? THE, KAN XB4s ZAN:. Ono swohnsing day_in hot Jti ,tt beer saloon he wandered by. Arid seeing that he wa4not seen, He entered at, the otinging4ereert. And to tribute the drinking men Whom he observed around blot then. Re ordered, as he knew he ought ter, A glass of pure, clear, crystal.water. Re set it down; "At. ha," said ha,' "Cold water is the drink for me. And so, to make it cold sad nice, He pounded ins little ice. - Ben ' . ham and good, sliced very thin, He dropped a little lemon to. And then be said, "Sweetio the sweet, And stirred some anger in the treat. To hied of brace the Waters up, lie 'bushel some bitters is the sup. Then pat a lee-tlo wtwky-•xeU, B►y twenty line. of nonpareil. And while ho stirred it with ii . spoon sang. in gleeful tones, this tune "Water, cold water, pato and free, Water is the drink for we." Ile raised his head; Toad, load he laughed, And to the dregs the goblet quaffed. "nista Um new amendment plan," Remarked the temperate Raines mw. ; Then set hie course, and held that 'lay, Due west, hia - ealm, iraper4l way._ —Burlington HatikeYe. T 013.4 CC 0 FEW. Tobacco clouds produce the reign sol peace in a smokers' heart. . Is the Cuban maid to smoke cigar etta? They are pretty sure to do so. The rune may come when to'' buy two cigars for a nickel will not be evi dence of bad taste. Will Carlyle s short. , black pipe be preserved among the curiosities in the British Museum? 'ln these piping times,' is now the prevailing expression of the heavily tax• ed cigar manufacturer. _ There are a good many, "breaks" in the tobacco trade; though few of its followers get broken, ' The Cin - einnati Commercial 'speaks of a prominent cigar dealer's place of bus iness as a "smoke-house." Does the small boy stump his toe against a discarded cigar? No he brings it ia•contabt with his month. "Mystetre would , be a good name lot a ',brand of to tobacco, be !ease everybody would buy it to see what' it was. I snnff to disgust anybody with tobaced,' said the seathiatie belle to her aged grandmother, who was fond of dipping. If seventy-flve years of indulgence prodaces 107 years' of age, how long would a person live who smoked ninety years? I A rturolkaser of a nickel cigar pat ao waa told: '4.ltta• w.. 0 Luau's' your match.; - ea with you lad I'll give you a cigar.' 3frawrms sor TT= COUPOBrIOII.- Some ono has *ken the pains to col lect for tile Chicago Times some of, the more famous typographic blunders o recent days: OS thQ proof-reader - on the Herald, who underscore I the line of the hymn, 'Hark the herald angels sing!' : so r as to give-due credit to his own paper. Of the World's report of ai political meeting—'the snouts' (for shouts) of ten thousand Dimaocrats rent the' air.' Of Goth's Fourth of Jnly oration about the effect of the immortal dodo- ration penned by Thomas Jefferson, a which limas reeled' he was made to say, instead of 'thrones reeled.' A local reporter represented Talmage as reading_the well known hymn thus: 'Nearer by God to Thee!' Instead of the flat of the Almighty, a New York paper spoke of - the 'fist of the Almighty.' • Another paper declared that the Meeker massacre was caused, not as the. dispatch said; 'by the , hunters pulling down the Indians' tents and corrals,' but 'the. Indians' beets and carrots.' Out West, the obituary of a right reverend 'prelate' . was described as the 'death of a pirate.' . In a sermon a clergymen was an nounced as preaching about 'a woman clothed in scantity,' instead of sanctity; and the subject, 'lnfluence of Rome on the Formation of Christianity,' got'into print as the 'lnfluence of Rome on - the Digestion of ILumanity.' The, compiler should have added to his collection the story of the Connec ticut.editor who wrote what he thought an unusually fine article, • entitled 'ls there no Balm in Gilead?: and awoke nest morning Ito see it read 'ls there no Barn in Gaillard?' HMV WOrra Gar HIS IDEAS or Huss. —M. Wcirth has a country house far- nished in lavish fashion, but cohtainin g • nothing more striking .to the visitor , than the extensive aviary, inj which scores of birds of all conceivable-hues fltt about it their ease. The aviary, it seems, is more than a whim of its owner. He declares that he derives from it some of his moat striking combinations and daring conceptions. 'Wnen I'am at a loss for a new idea as to color blending; he says, • go and watch the birds, and almostcertainly see some chance- ooni bination of hues as they flit about which giveme the desired notion.' 'lt &ill be indeed &fact, and 'we have no reason to doubt it, it would appear that his worthy bites are in reality helping him to feather his nest when they !eathei.their own.—London Figaro, came over to see about your. boy,' said a „neighbor last evening. 'Hes ' very troublesome about my house. He has been throwing rotten apples into my front yard and balling my. Wife ..'Old Molly Grubs.' And I was. going over to see you you about your, boy,' was, the rejoinder. 'He °hall , ed Fay wood sheds/Winer with a picture If my wife driving aincait of the back - door with a kettle of water in one hand and a broom in the Oil/er."( 'ls that so? Then I go in for civil service reform within our families.' The boys never linear what they were "licked for that night." $l.OO a Tear s la Mbar*. PACTS AND PANCZS; , ha the fail the landlord's hue/ ' Lightly tarns to ralsing,vettis; And the coal men every chance he - Ras Ri 1 add on filly coati. - ',Anueber lie nailed,' as the.wag re marked when the merobent tasked 'up a C 06 1 .- - • "Pobloom can be carried too tur. 'Didier day I lilted ply hat, ter a 'mean an kelt do hiu4erchief omen IV! lldr. Cobb decently married Miss Webb; he knew they were intended for each othet ns 80 011 as he ETNIAIL _ The. Maine Signal Service man who went up with King . reports that he could find nothingahove the clouds, to furnish consOlation to Chicago people: The world wilt never progress far enough to believe • that a man's black eye wail caused by anything else than somebody's fist. - If a two-wheeled vehicle is a, bicycle, and a three-wheeled a tiicycle, it does not follow that the one-wheeled is an icicle. It is a wheel-barrow. . A. Jersey City husband who remained • out until midnight ,and forgot the story he had cooked np to tell his wife, hing ed away in the hall as she met him. - If you want to read a sensible, in structive and elevating book.' go to say public library and ask for the one that is called for the least. 'I wouldn't give that for any man's opinion,' exclaimed Fenderson snap ping his finger. 'Excepting your own.' remarked Fogg. •A. party of San Juan ranchers made a bonfire of an Apache Indian, end the coroner,s jury returned a verdict of "overcome by the heat." 'This pie len% fit for a dog to eat,' muttered Pingry. 'Oh, beg pardon!' exclaimed the landlord; 'I didn't mean to give that to you, Mr. Pingry. Of course it is , not fit.' 'Et de descendants eb de rooster what crowed at Peter was ter make a noise ebery time a lie is told dar would sick a noise in de world dal yer couldn't heat de hens cackle.' Late experiments in Indiana have shown that a hearty boy can draw cider through a small rubber pipe a distance of eleven feet, in case the family are all away to church - . 'Are you feeling very ill?' asked the physician; 'Let me see your tongue, please.' It's no use. doctor,' replied the poor patient; 'no tongue can tell heir bad i feel.' The will of a man who died recently in Berke county, contained this clause: 'And I further disinherit and prohibit from participation in the distribution of my estate such of ray male descend ants as presist is wearing. mustaches.' Edith—Your question. 'What are tti.- 1 -IgswaiLegpa ater qbappwapiat Adaabia 'Sye-openers' we have never seen, but suppose they taunt be some kind'of au tomatic contrivances worked in con nection with alarm-clocks. 'The best medicine a person cm take is a horseback " ride in the pure sir.' Marked copies of this receipt should be sent to those train robbers who were recently ienteneed to sevepty years' im prisonment We hear that they are in poor,health. "My dear child," observed kgood, deacon to an urchin who was polishing 1 a cat's back with a blacking brush on the Lord's Day, "have you never at- tended Sunday school?" ""liaw," re sponded the gamin frankly, "I don't go to phuaei of asausemept. 11 Job Shuttle 1 0 abandoned going to the theetre altogether. When he wants an evening's enjoyment be y hangs his wife's new 'Rembrandt' beaver- hat on the gas-bracket, sits behind it and looks . at it intensely. He gets just as much as be wovld by going to the theatre and saves the pike of the ticket. - "Papa," remarked the enfant terri ble, who was mounted on the back of the old gentleman's chair engaged in talking crayon sketches on his bald head, "It wouldn't , do for you to fall asleep in the desert, would it?" .` . 'Why not, my darling?" "Oh, the - Ostriches might sit down on your head and hatch it out." The Philadelphia News says. the • fra ternal telationsi between the North and South have become ao warn that seven teen Northern visitors to the Atlanta exhibition were carried up to bed by the hotel . porter, and it didn't 'cost them a cent. 'The same old story, Northerp men can't go South without I , getting "shot"—in the neck,' or some- I where. ' . The Jersey City Journal copies from this column a paragraph reflecting on the perennial stove-pike joke, and adds: 'And lo! in another column bobs up the stove-pipe joke.' Which compels us to call the Journal Democratic elect ion table the mornln after the . battle, which contains more li---'4l - ore errors, that is, to the squa r inch than a gas meter does to the square foot. Charlie Bum Mace is continually mis laying his memorandum book. We noticed it carefully , huig tip "on the floor of his room this morning, and opened it at the last entry; which was: 'My father says, fAn honest man is the noblest work of God.' I. saw the same remark in a newsmor. This proves the old man a plagiarist, and no plagi arist is an honest man. There is no 'noblest work' in our family.' Boys, you'll find this life- just like a game of- seven-up. Yon want to save your tens and look oat for a game, and never beg when you have a good hand: Also, recollect in the long run.. low counts as much as high if_ it is .only a - trump.'. Tbe devil, atackaa the-cards, but just play. em honest, , and when it comes your deal; Ter boort', to get a winnin' hand every tuns, and -the old split-hoof will just have to jump the goinf l and look for a.g9iter mop- Alao, if you harpen to turn jack:o4lU lucky, but don't forget to remember that turn in' jack in uncertain businees, salt never do to bet 0n.,-7444,Prstrell MIME xo~ ~~s
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers