Ii
HOLCOMB & T RACT, Publishers.
VOL. VII.
Bradford Republican,'
1 .- )lthlisheu every Thursday at Towanda, Pa.,
hr'ilOLCoaitt TRACY, Proprietors.
TITIII. paid in advance, $l.OO per tumult
Lot paid Jii dvance $1.25. To subscribers out
t tut, conto ly, $1,25, invariably in advance, the
3,l.iitton t Ltg made to .cover prepayment of
blvertioni 4 'Bates:--Stx cents a line for first
tn-i•rtion, an 1 five cents per line. for all sub;.:6
q rout insertions. Beading notice advertising
ten cents per line. Eight lines constitute a
vinsre, and twelve lines an inch, Auditor's
notices f 2.50. Administrator's and Executor's
?epees $2. 00 . Yearly adtertising $lO.OO per
c.dumn•
TUE UEPUbLICAN is 'pplilialied in the 'Juicy,
More and Nobles Block, at the corner of Main
end Pine streets, over. J. F. Corsier's Boot and
Shoe store. its circulation is over r lOOO. As an
advertising medium it is =excelled in its im•
mediate fie d.
Our 'tubbing Terms.
We Will furnish all paying 2tfuncribers for
he lir.ecuticsa within 'the county with any
ut thit fullowiug publications, until farther
❑etice, at the rates. given below.
The REPUBLICAN 11.00 in addition.
SiVJectibers residing out of the county will
x' charged 25 cents additional
New York Weekly Times,—
Senii-Weekly Times,
New York Daily Tribune,....
Weekly "
...,
Setni,Weehly ..
....
New,York Daily Evening Post, 8 00
" " Weekly '"' . " .... 115
-- semi-Weekly 4. {l. =. 2 25
New York Weekly World, 1 00
-StAill•WeeklV 611 r • 1 90
Philmleiphia Daily Times, '5 65
Philadelphia Weekly Times, - 130
Philadelphia Daily Press, : ... - 8 00
Pailadelphia Weekly Press, .. ..... 1 10
Harper's Magazine,.. ... 3 10
Harper's Weekly, 3 . 25
liarper's Bazar, • 325
Seribuer's Monthly,.... • . 3 25
St. Nicholas, 2 50
Appleton's Journal,.... • - 235
with steel engraving of Dickens.. S 10
Popular Science Monthly, - ' 4 00
II Supplement,— ••• 2 Str
Magazine of American History 4 00
North American Review, 4 00
New York Medical Journal, 1 3 23
American Agriculturist, • . 1 10
Country Gentlemen, - 2 10
Rural New Yorker, _ 1 85
Toledo Blade, 1 60
LittelTs Living, Age, - - 7 00
Atlantic Monthly, 3 25
Wide Awake, . , . • 1 65
Bibyland, 60
Lippincott, 3 25 .
Demoryst, 2 50
Goder;l 65
•
Scientific American, 2 75
Petersii's Magazine,.... 1 60
.
The Nursery, • 1 20
Paruier's Review ' - 40
Ludington ilawkeye, 1 50
: New England Journal of Edncation.. :2 00
Kendall's Treatise on the Rorie - 25
A Ili val and Depariure of Mails.
'Mails arrive and depart at the-Towanda Poet—
se follows:
En!., N. V., and Eastern States ... 4;00 .t. et..
ba.iltiore. Laporte, &c.i • ... tlidd
L. V. way mail from the North . .... 10.00
t.ll,4lwiutu 4:c... -... 11:00
New-Era; 5:e.. Tuesday, Thursday and
Saturday i
Asylum, a:c., Monday, Wednesday iiud
-Friday - - , •
Trey, Burlington. Sc , 1:00 : P. lit
1.-liaysville, Home. &c... • ' .. = 1.00
Closed pouch from Erie and NC It Its 2:30
L. V. way mail from the South 4:35
Cautou, /ac ... 5:01
It relay - • ii:3o
Closed pouch from Elmira and E It II 10:40
DEPART
Canton, Slonroeton, _
Lehigh Valley way mail South
Cloned pouch Elmira, Erie and North.
ern Central Railroads
Troy, Burlington, Sc
Sheaheoutn, cc
Barclay.:.
New Era, Triesda,y Thursday and Sat.
urday
M.)l:flu._ - Monday, Wedheaday and
' Friday 1:00
Leitayerdle, Rome, &0... I:00
Puthore, ke... ; 2:45
Lehigh Valley way mail North 13 . 45
New Ylrk Phila. and Eastern States. , 7:45
zrflieo open trona 7:00 A. IE4 to 7:45 P.-if. Money
Order °Mee open from 8:00 at. to 7:00 P. at. •
0:1:ee open on Sunday fro 9:00 to 10:00 A. IC
P. Powell., P. 11.
•.
I
EHIGH VALLEY PENNA. AND
-4 NEW YORK RAILROADS.
ARRANGEMENT OF PASSENGER TRAINS
TO TAKE EFFECT MAY 15, PM,.
EASTWARD.
mTATIONEI
h (wire Falle.
Lutalo .. : ... • ..
Rochreter
Lyons .1
Geneva
Ithaca .
auburn ...
Owego_ ......
Elutiri
Waverly -.
gayre
Yuan •
rrtgp3r
ra,taioa
4) . e.auking
itsuding Stone.
ituaur.crfteld
Frenchto wn
WyAlusiug
Lac.•yrille
Skiur.er's Eddy
11 ,, Loppon -
khoop an y
lunkhanneck•..
I..trirauge
Fah.
II Junction
W.: ,
llaucli Chunk ..
Ail town
11 , thi.tern
Eaton
Kitalelphia
New - York
WESTWARD.
STATIONS
Sea*
Easton
Bethlehem
Cleutown
3liuch Chunk..
Wilkes-Barre...
:4 h 11.1nuction
Valls
Laiiranke
Trinkhannock .
Skinner's Eddy
U.:yr. - 111S .
Wralusing
i'reuchtown
Rumnerfield
titaudiug Stone
WYsauklng
TOlianda
L'lster .....••• •
Milan
Athens
'Sayre., •
Waverly
Elmira
U 5.0 .40
Auburn........
ItMea
Genera
Lyons
...
.
Rochester .
ficetslo
SlaZara Falls..
•" 7 • 20 •••• 110.42
.... 2.11,7.33; 3.6010.52
'••• 1 ••••• 7.57;••••111.13
:•••! ••••; 3.2811.19
••••1•••••1
3.03! 843 ; 3.46,11.36
8143 4.0'311.155
•••• •••• I 8 • 55' •• • ••12.02
•• 9.0+ -02.17
. . .... 9.10 ....12.24
••••• 9.19; 12.34
4 00; 9.301 4 43 12.45
9.43' 4.55 12.57
....1 9.52:..... 1.06
....1 4.30:10:011 5.10 1.15
4.40 , 10,10 5.20 1.23
....1 8.4510.20: 5.301 1.30
5.2511.10.: 6.151 2.15
.. 5.32' .. 6.25!
-4
8.30; 9.351
.... 6.10. 2.10; 6.40:
7.41; 6.00 , 8.14
8.40: 8.50
.... 9.501 7.40 9.40'
....!11.40 '13.05
••••1 1.03 1 1.08
P.M. P.M. A.M.
No. 3.1 leaves Wyalusing at6:oo, A. M..'Prench-
Wwn 6 11, .itnmmerlIeld 6.23. Standing Stone 6.31
trmauting 6.40. Towanda 6.53, Ulster 7.06,
7:16, Athens 7:25, Sayre 7:40, Waver
arriving at Elmira 8:50.
N,e.3lli.aves Elmira 5:45 P. M., Waverly 6:35,
Sayre Athens 6:50, Milan 6:59, Ulster 7:08;
7...aanda 7:23, Wysanking 7:35, Standing Stone
4 4. lltuumerfield 7:52, Frenchtown 8:02,
leg at Wyainsing at 8:15. arriv-
Irains 8 and 15 run daily. -Sleeping cars on
trains ii,and 15 between Niagara Falls and Phila.
dtlphis and between Lyons and New York with
oa changes. Parlor oars on Traine 2 and 9
between Niagara Palls and .Philadelphia with
change. and through ooach to and from
Loiter via Lyons.
ATZE, WM. STEVENSON, Supt.
6. May 15, 1E431. Pa. dN.Y.B. B.
• "b GEORGE OTT' I
it
loinmental Lrble Granite Work'
.
- —O--
Prlces cheaper than the chea
m 3O- -tt i WitiOX. PA
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0_ MTH k HILLIS, Attorneys-at-Lave; OMo
0 over Powell & Co.
•
nALIFF. J. N., Othcq to Wood'is Block, south
First Na tonal Bank, up stairs. June 12,78
MIABBEE k SON C Elsbree Ind L Elam.)
Jul Mee in 31ercur Block. Park St. nityl4:lB
DECK & OVERTON (Dial I Peek and D d Over=
tout, Office over UM'. Market 49-'79
OVERTON A SAIIDERSON (8 Overton and JoAn
FRanderson.) °Dice In Adams Bleelt.jnlys'7B
MAXWELL, W. °Mee over Dayton's Store
aprillt,7o
WELT. ANDREW. Office in Mean's Block
i ape 14.70 -
nAVIES, CABNOCHAN & HALL, (W T Davies.
W H Caramkalt.,L Al Hatt.) ',Office In' rear
et Ward !loom Entrance on poplar St. (Je12.75
MERCOM, RODNEY A. Solicitor of Patents.
Particular attention paid to business ;in
Orphans' -Court and to the settlement of estates.
Office in Siontanye's Block 49-79
c PHERSON & YOUNG, (1. MePtersois
W. I. Young.) Mee south side of &formes
Block. fob I,7ii
AR - ADILL & KINNEY, Office corner' Maui and
il-T 1 Pine at. Noble's block. second door front.
Collections promptly attended to. feb 1 78
Trrnuims. ANGLE k BUFFINGTON. (H N
WV IVi Maths, E J Angle and E D Bupingten).
Office west side of Main street, two doors north
of Argus office. AU business entrusted to their
care will receive progipt attention. oct 26,77'
$ 95
2O
9 25
1 00
26
IVI~ASON k ~T IIO3IPBON, (6, P. Afitswi, E. A.
J.Va Thompson.) Attorneys-at-Law. Special at
tention to conveyancing, examination of title
and aU matter relating to real estate.- - Collec-.
How; promptly remitted. Office over Patch it'
; - inariO-81.
Tracy's store.
TAMES 11. AND *IMP.; W. COI/DING, Atter
t) net's and Counsellors-at-Law. Office in the
Mercur Block, over C. T. larby's Drug Store.
July 3, 'BO tf,
KEENEY, J. P. AttOrne)-at-Law. Office in
Montanyo's Block, - Main Street.
Sept. 15, 'Bl-tf. • •
rpuompsos, Ay. H. acrd E. A., 'Attorneys•at
Law, Towanda, Pa. Wilco in Mercer Block,
over C. T. liirby's Dreg Store, entrance ou Main
street, first stairway, north' of Post•oIIlce. All.
business promptly attended to. Special 'Men.
Don given to claims against tho United States
for PensioLs, Bounties, Patents, etc., and to
collections and settlement of decedent's estates,
April 21,. ly . •
TOMNEKM4. T. 8.. M.D. Office over Dr. H. C
_Porters's Drug Store. ' tab 12,,18
NEAVTON. Drs. D. N. &F. G. Office at Dwelling
on River Street, corner Weston St. feb 12,77
LADD, C. K., M.D. Mike Ist door above old
bank building, on Main street.- Special at
tention given .to diseases of the
, throat and
lungs. jn1y19.78
WOODBURN'. S. M., M.D. Office and resi
dence. Main street, north ot M.E.Churth.
Medical Examiner for Pension Dcrartmeut.
lab 22.78
__A
PAYNE, E. D.. M.D. (Mee over li.)ntanye's
Store. Office hours; from 10 to 12 a.m. and
from 2 to 4 P. M. Special attention given to
Diaeaaea of the Eye, and Diseases of the Ear.
oct 20.77
HENRY HOUSE. Mail at., nett corner south
of Bridge , street. - New house and new
furniture throughout. " The proprietor has
spared neither pains or expense in inching his
botel first-class and respectfully solicits a share
of public patronage. Meals at all hours. Terms
reasonable. large Stable attached.
mar S 77 'Md. HENRY.
On
WATKINS POST, NO: 68, G. A. It. Meets
every Saturday evening, at Military Hall.
GEO. V. MYER,.Coninapider.
J. It.-litrrtuuou, Adjutant.... feb 7,
CRYSTAL LODGE, lio. 57. -Meets at H. of P.
Hall every Monday evening at 7:30. In
aurance $2,000. Benefits $3.00 per week. Aver
ago annual cost, 5 years experience, $ll
- Reporter.
4,115158 E WAIIDE.LL, Ju., Dictator. feb 22.78
BRADFORD LODGE. H 0.167, I. 0. 0. F. _ Meet
In Odd Fellow's Hall, every Monday evening
at 7 o'clock. WiIIICEN MIX, Noble Grand,
Juno 12,75 ;
9:00 A. M
9:15
10:00
10:00
12:00 Y.
1:00 P. II
POST. F. E. • No. 32 Second street. ill.orders
will receive prompt attention. June 12,75
1:00
WAS' G. W.,
County Superintendent; .0111ce
days last Saturday of each mon th;t, over
Turner & Gordon's Drug Store. TowandicPa.
01..TSQUELIANNA COLLEGIATE INSTITUTE.
Da The Fall Term of twenty-olght year com
mences on Monday. October 31st; VAL For cata
logne or [other information. adclass or call on
the Prindipal.
EDWIN E. QUINLAN, A.M.
uly 19,781 Towanda. Pa.
•
I I LUMBER AND GAS FITTER.
WILLIAMS, EDWARD. -Prictical Plumber
and Gas Fitter. Place of business in lifer
cur Block next door to Journal °Rice opposite
Public Square. Plumbing, Gas Fitting, Repair
ng Pumps of all kinds. and all kinds of Gearing
promptly attended to. All wanting work in his
ne {should give him a call. 4 July 27,77
15 L 9 7 i 3
1P.M.1A.51. T.M.
2.051 7.20. 17.15
2.50, 8.25: 0.20
5.15!10.30:
! •
6.5411.55 . .....
8.35, 1.18; 8.30.
5.101 8.05 .....,
9.0010.50:
1
1 9.10, 1.45: 9.00 - 3.45
9.451 2.10' 9.40 4 15
110.10; 2.30 10.00' 4.30
40.15' 2.3410.03! 4.34
10.15: •
1046 3.001043! 5 05
...f 1 10.54 --1 5.13
; ;.• -.41.03 ,
.. ..11.10 4„26 -
..... .11.13 1
' 3.3 . 6 11.30 5.45
41.41, 3.54 11.40 6.03
I '11.4 G. 07
4.10 12.10 6.23
I 12.16 6.24
42.25 4.33: 1.00 7.10
1.10 7.20
1.25 7.35
RUBSELL, 0. 8, General Insurance Agency,
Towanda, Pa. Otßee in Whitcomb!' Book
Store. - • July 12,7 E
f L EVANHOURE,ELVIRA, N. Y. C. T. Smith
formerly of;the Watd House. Towanda. Pro)
prietor. This Hotel is located immediatly
opposite the railroad depot, Erfery pains .taken
for the comfort of guests,- juirs,77
TOWNER, 11. L., M.D.. -
110AHEOPATII/C PHYSICIAN & EiITHOZON:
Residence and office just north of Dr. Corbon's
Main street:Athens. Pa..
NEW FIRM ! NEW STORE !
NEW GOODS !
Ed. Mouillesseaux,
, 1.051 5.10 1.45
Las: 5.25' 2.20
i 3.45 j 7.30' 4.50
4.44' 8.24' 5.53!
5.00' 8.35 6.05!
5.30: 9.00 8.40'
6.5510.35' 8,25
8.05' 1. 9.15
A.M. P.M P.M.
8.05
8.35
lb®
12.00
12.15
12.55
2.20
3.35
P.M.
Jewelry Store
S 30 , 2
12
P.M. A.ll. N.M. P.M.
.1 6.30, ....j 7.40: MO
.i 6.00 9.00! 4.15
.1 9.2 C, ....;10.151 5.50
j 9.50:....'10.45] 6.15
-10.65 ..,..10.541 6.24
-111.051 ...ALBS' 7.25
•I.oB'. 6.00 2.03 1 9.45
.1 1,35' 5.35 2.2510.10
..j ••••:7.02: :...!10.30
IN PAT TON'S BLOCK;
Whore he keepi a FULL ASSOIL.: 'AUNT or
Gold sz Silver Watches
SWISS AND AMERICAN;
CLOCKS, - JEWEO2.Y)
- sir His Stock is all NEW anti of the FINEST
QUALITY. Call arid see for yourself.
8.00
9.40.
A.M.
REPAIRING DONE: PROMPTLY.
CM
KENDALL'S. SPAVIN-CURE
Is sure in its effects, mild in its action as it does
not blister, yet is penetrating and powerful to
reach every deep seated pain or to remove any
bony growth or other enlargements, inch as
swine. - splints curbs, callous, sprains, swell,
lugs and any lameness and. aU enlargements of
the joints or limbs. or for rheumatism in man
and fur any purpose for which a liniment is used
for man or beast. -It is now knoirn to be the
best Liniment for man ever irsed,acting mild and
yet certain in its effects.
Send address for Ilinstrited Circular which
we think gives positive proot of its virtues. No
remedy has ever met with such unqualified nc.
cess to our knowledge, for heist as well a man.
Price $1 per bottle. or six bottles, for $5. All
Druggists have it or can get it for you, or it will .
be sent to any address on receipt of ,price by the
proprietors, Oa. 8.. J. HEND.us. k I Co., Enos,
burgh Pas, Vt.:
Sold by all Dragglotk
fiowand4 Business Directory.
Arroim EY 3- A T,L4 W.
RHYSICANS AND SURGEONS.
HOTELS
SECRET SOCIETIES
HOUSE AND SIGN
-IR
EDUCATIONAL
INSURANCE
11:ISCELI.ANEOGrS
-. (Formerly u - f.lx
lIAS 6I'ENED A _
OF 1118 OWN
With Swarts '&
Gorden's Store,
Main Street Towanda, Pa.,.
SPECTACLES, ETC.
~'
5
ENGRAVING A SPECIALTY.
. Z ,
i
- II
cuts
DYSPEPSIA,
Ulll
tOIIPUIITS,
& '
IART DISEA
C R E Sft
: eP es sktrive eeieverl i
euma
sm, lrogy, Heartfl at
Disease; Ii&
tousness, p ervous
debility, etc.
rho Best BEEBDY KNOWN to Man!
11,000,000 Bottles
This Syrup possesses Varied Properties.
- If Stimulates the . Ptyalino in the
Saliva, which converts the Starch and
Sugar of the teed into glucose. A deli.
cleric,. in Ptwiline causes Wind and
Souring of the food in the stomach... It
the medicine is taken immediately after
eating the fermentation of teed Is prep.
vented.
It acts upon the Liter. ; -
It nets upon the Kidneys.
It Regulates the Bowels. '
It Purifies the Blood,
It Quiets the Nerrous Systems.
It Promotes Digestion:
It Nourishes. Strengthens and Mei km
It carries off the Old Blood and make nee
It opens the pores of the skin and induces
Healthy. Perspiration.
It neutralizes the hereditary taint. or polsot
in the blood, which generates Scrofula. Ery•
sipelakand all manner of skin diseases and
Internal humors.
There are no spirits employed in its menu.
facture. and ft can be taken by the most deli.
cate babe. or by the aged and feeble, early onig
being requtrodin attention, to directions. . 5
DRUGGISTS SELL IT.
XAajtooratory, 77 West 341p3t,
NEW YORK CITY.
Aever. falls to Core.
Ashland, Schuyilll co., Pa.
Dear Slr:—Thin is to certify that your INDIAN
BLOOD SYRUP has benefited me 'Moro, after a
short trial, than all tho medicine I hare used
for 15 years.
Diseasei of the Stomach.
Ashland. Schnykill co., Pa.
Dear have used your excellent INDIAN
BLOOD SYRUP Or Disease of the Stomach; and
it has proved to be a valuable medicine.
..31na. J. AumArr.
Turtle PoiuL, Itlckean co., Pa.
Dear was troubled with Nervous pe
billly and partial Paralysis, for a number of
years, and obtained no relief „until I used your
INDIAN BLOOD. SIRUP, a short trial of which'
restored me to health.'
•
Fo?,Scrocula.
•
Turtle Point. McKean a.
Dear Sir:—My little girl was cured.of co.. Lia
m of the Face and Eyes, by the use,of your
reliable INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP. A physician
had previously !until to afford relief and it was
thought thit the child could not live. Its neck
and breast was entirely covered with Scrofulous
Sores, which are , now entirely gone.
Sure Cure 'for liver COmplaint
Turtle Point. McKean co., Pa..
Dear Sir:—This is to certify that your INDIAN
BLOOD SYRUP has effectually relieved me of
Liver Complaint and Dyspepsia, after the doc
tors failed. - •
•
Remedy fot 4 the Rheumatism
Turtle P.ohat, McKean cp., Pa.
Dear have used your excellent INDIAN
BLOOD SYRUP for Rheumatism and Livet Com
plaint. and 'have desired great relief therefrom.
Daum &UPSON.
•
• An Agent's Testimony.
Turtle Point. McKean co., Pa.
Dear was a life-long sufferer from Liver
Complaint until I used your great INDIAN
BLOOD SYRUP, from which I soon obtained
permanent relief. I also lithi the - Syrup to be a
valuable Bowel Regulator. . •
flE2ifltY C.'SLIMON. ,
MIMI
- - -
A Valuable Medicine.
' Berlin, Nonierset Co., Pa.
Dear Sir:—This Is to certify that your reliable
INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP is. the best medicine
ever used in my iamily. Hoping the public will
be benefited by this great remedy, I take great
pleasure in dying my testimony °fits value.
JOSEPII P. IinuDASE/1.
Dyspepsia and Indigestion
_Berlin, Somerset Co., Pa.
Dear Sir:-.4 take pleasure in recommending
your INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP se the best medi-
cine made. People who are Dyspeptic - should
not fail to give it a trial. For tne Stomach it
his no equal.- I have used it and :know it to be
a-valuable medicine.
Berlin, Somerset Co., Pa.
Dear Sir:—l was troubled with Liver Com
plaint for a long time, end by the permission of
your Agent, I commenced taking your excellent
INDIAN BLOOD SYBUP,whlch has greatly bene
fited me. 1 have never found any medicine to
ocual it, and can confidently say it is a safe and
highly valuable remedy.
Pain in the Breast. - -
•
Berlin, Somerset eq., Pa. -
Dear Sir:—l was :Meted with a Pain in -my
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Dyspepsia and Indigestion.
s ' Philadelphia, rt.
Dear Slr:—This is to certify that your valud
blo INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP has cured me of
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• '
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For Kidney Diseases.
Philadelphia, pa.
Dear Sir:—l was subject to severe Pains in my
Kidneys, Weakness and Painful Sick Headache,
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\o• 1535 . Bartram St
Philadelphia. Pa.
•
Dear was troubled with Costivenes and
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SYRUP proved most beneficiallo me. It la the
bekt medicine I ever used.
No, 817:Feders1 St.
, • Philadelphia. Pa.
- Dear Sir: —I was afflicted with Dyspepsia and
Iliousitess for years, and failed to procure re
lief until I began using your INDIAN 'BLOOD
SYRUP, which soon effectually . relieved Me. I
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• ' Fusi9l T. Gonicurar,
No. 1 0 35 Locust Bth,
Disease of the Stomach and. Liver:
. _
Bush/ill. Pike 00., Ps.
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• Mots= lississamm.
Best Family Medicine.
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!dam= CLUMULD.
Dear Sir:—T Sava used your• great INDIAN
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summer Complaint, and it has proved effectual
in all cues.
Dear Sir:—lify.daughter was-In Poor Health
and a short trial of your INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP
entirely cured Der.
Iris= VANANSir.
A GENT S .. IT A Z E EN D D for ia
lAN t
EITILLT•fri every town or village, in which I have
no agent. Particulars given onapplication. •
•
TOWANDA •B
Ami.: l4 A FOlt
• _ • . • _ D 4•A”
I • • .• • • -- -,r'••••` , • •
•••;::
CURES
01SLISE8 01
THE STOMACH,
MONEYS, S4l,
B 100 D:
SOLD SINCE 1870.
B. B. Bzt.i.mAx
Nervowi Debility
D. C. WINSHIP
Wratra:N Slirru
F. F. BlBllol'
HATTIE ERISSINGER
Liver Comp laint.
EDWAILD ZonN
D. 31. BALI.
GEORGE I. ERLIOT
JANES Ex=
For, Costiveness.
JAL A. Biittwx
For Biliousness.
.'You did that.' I
; .'Well, I'm laying my pipe's for a sec
ond term. • If I lose you, I might as
well bang up. The opposition will hold
it up in letters four feet high, and 'hun
dreds of men in my own party, will slip
Imy 111/111P. Do yon hear. me ?' - i.
basun]. ymr9 co., p* .__ 'I do.'
Remedy for Worms.
Thou ConnuaßT
Never Falls to Cure. -
'Boom% Pike Co.. Pa.
r --- .1
"00
, • ,
FOR. TIM Bantam Ax. c i
i ii Atirtrits. I -
.- .
• _
.. I ur MM. T. It. DA , 79. ' - •
Wh; autumn first, appears Ito ws,
• She wears her best array'
But chadgessoon her rich attires
For Robes of sober gray,
Yet here, and there among the trees
Upon the hills hi seen; '
Some shrubs, and trees whih yearly wear
A dress Of evergreen.
Fou TUE Branumems.
•1.
GRIEF'S MISSION.
BT BUS. T. B. BATIEB
'Grief haiits . mission -hen') below
• • For human kind; - ',-
And they who learn the lessonright
True peace will fled. I
Peace iu the chambers of the soul
For God is there,
.The still "maltydee is heard within,
Answer to prityer.
Then there is formed a union sweet,
• With that grand Power, •
Who guh'es humanity iu
,Love
Each. passing hour.
'Ms grief beings forth the gospel birth
For you, and me -
And inspiration flows within
The soul—eau see;
Can see and feel our An ties clear
•And ad our part
Iti,eartlea 4Ci•anta, on liff'd atage
With joy of heart.
PRESULENCE:
The uew moon hung iu the sky, the sun was
• low in the west, -
And my betrotlied and I in the churchyard
- paused to rest—
Happy maiden and lover, dreaming, the old
dream over;
The light winds, wandered by, and roLins
chirped from the neat,
And lu 'in the wail the grave
. of a little child,
With a crumbling stone at the feet, and the
ivy running '
Tangled ivy and clover folding it over and
overt .
Close to my sweetheart's ; feet was the little
mound up-piled.
Stricken with nameless fears, she shrank and
clung to me. _
And.her eyes were fillOd with tears for a'sor
- tow I did not gee;
Lightly the winds were blowing,.koftly her
tears were flowing—
Tears fur the unknown years and a sorrow
that was to be !
T. B. Aldrich, in ie Deembetlfarper.
LIFE'S ESSENCE.
• BICI.IAILD MALE.
• •
Fair arc the flowers and the childreit, but
" their subtle euggt.stion is fairer; I
Rare is the rosebtfist of dawn, but the Secret
-
that clasps it - is rarer.
Sweet the exultince or song, but the Strain
that precedes it is sweeteq "
And never was poem yet writ, but the mean
ing outtuasters the meter,
Never a • daisy that grows, .:but a mystery
guideth the growing;
Never 'a river that flows, but a majesty seen
- • •
ters the flossing;
N6 t rur a nuattspere that soared, but a stronger
than he did enfold him;
--
Nor even a prophet foretells, but a mightier
• seer bath foretold Lim.
Back cirthe canvas that throbs the painter is
hinted and hidden; 1 . •
Into statue that breathes the soul of the scul
ptor is bidden.
Under the joy that is folt lie the infinite issues
of feeling; i • •
I
Crowning ,the glory revealed is the glory
that crowns the revealing..
Great are the symbols of being, but that
which is symboled is greater;
Vast' the create and beheld, but vaster the in
ward creator;
Back of the sound broods the silence, back of
• the giving,
Back of the hand that receives thrill the son
' silive nerves of receiving.
Space is as nothing ; to spirit; the deed is out
done by the dog;
The heart of the weber is warm, but warmer
the heart of the wooing;
And up from the pits where these shiver, hud
up from the heights whore those shine,
Twin voices and shadows swim starward; and.
the essence of life is divine.
AUTUMN LEAV.L7B,
Red o'er the forest fade's the setting sun,
The line of yellow light dies fast away
That crowned the Eastern copse and chill
and dim
Falls on the moons the brief November day.
Now tho tired hunter:Winds a parting note
And echo bids,good"night from every glade,
Yet wait a while rand see the calm leaves
float
Each to his rest• . beneath their parent
• shade.
•
How like decaying lit© they seem to glide 1 -
And yet no second spring have they in
store,
:But where they lie forgotten to abide' •
Is all their portion and they ask no more.
Man's Fortion is to die, and rise again,
Yet he complains, while these unmurmur
ing part
With their sweet lives as pure from sin and
*Atkin •
AO His when Eden held Elio Virgin howl.
—Edge's Christian Year.
HELPING THE PAETT.-111 the days
gone by, a Detroit Sheriff who had
made a clop shave of being elected. had
the ill-luck to lose a prisoner from the
jail. The fellow made good his escipe
to-the country, • but the Sheriff over
hauled him about eight miles out, and
drove him under a barn. The prisoner
was captured, and yet he was not. If he
could „not get out; the Sheriff could not
get in, and threats had no effect on him.
In this emergency the officer called out:
• 'Say, Jim'
'Yes.' -
'You know I had a mighty close
shave getting this office ?' •
'Well. I ask you to come out, not
exactly as a piisioner going back to jail,
but more as a patriot bound to stand by
his party. Come, Jim.'
be hanged if I don't 1' 'replied
the prisoner:
'The judge was ag'in me, my sentence
was unjuat, and I hate your jail, but . if
it's going Iv help t he party, and crush
the hydka-heuded 'opposition, out I
come r—Detroit Free Press.
A sarcastic Georgia editor, in notic
ing a fair which recently came off in
Macon, says: 'One of our contempora
ries took a very valuable premium, but
a meddlesome and firm policeman made
him put it right back where he took it
from.' !
' ;tit " . I ' ' "
r.) . " 41/ ' 1) 4 4 ' 4 4 . 4 ') 4 jtmiLdttliki..l.l...r2LAll
=
MRS. MW7WS
:NESS.
• „BY 111411r4:11421111 lIALP*I4.
Richard Irwin toiled slowly and
wearily up the two flights of stairs
whion' led to the poor abode, 'whose
scanty furniture had grown still more
scanty as want and poverty prsesed
More and more hardly upon him.
But poor
. as it was, everything was
us neat as his pretty wife Mary's tipsy
handspould make it, who turned upon
hi& the same brave cheerful smile with
which I she always welcomed . him,
though her heart sank as she saw the
gloom which shrouded his face.
'lt's of no use. Mary,' be. said, sink
ing down into a' chair. 'l've walked
the streets all the morning, and there is
no work to bo had; men 'are' diseharg
log their old hands instead of taking
new I've bad no work for three months
noti, with the exception of an odd job
or'se. Winter is coming on; all my
hardly earned savings are, gone, and
what is to become of us is more than I
know!'
'lt is always darkest before the dawn,
Richard.'
'That's what you have been saying
for a long time,' was the gloomy re
spons9 'hut the night keeps, growing
darker and darker. I wouldn't care so
much it it wasn't for you and the baby;
but to , see you growing; so pale and
holloweyed, and to know that Freddie
is neither comfortably fed or clothed
drives the almost wild.'
Thci young wife laid her hand softly
upon : the bowed head of the speaker.
1 4:316d is good„ i my husband. He will
not forsake tiro seWho put their trust in
Him, and do the bestthey can.'
'I sometimes dcinbt whether He cares
much for what is done . here. It don't
look as if he did. Them is Tom Stev
ens,.who has, got rich . through fraud
and extortion. As I was going through
the market on my way home I saw him
bringing a turkey . for to•morrow—for
to-morrow is Thanksgiving day at
is, for some people. I don't know Mat
we have to be thankful for!
Mrs.. Irwin's chief -comfbrr in these
dark days had been her..flrm belief in
the wisdom and goodness of God, and
it cost her not a little effort to repress
the eager protest that arose to her lips.
But she was a wise little woman, -who
knew when to speak and when to be
silent.
know what I have most reason to
be thankful for,' she said, touching her
lips lightly to his forehead; 'that I .am
the happy wife of a „man who never
gave me Occasion 'to blush for him, or
regret the day that made me his.'. -
Lifting his head Mr. Irwin looked
eagerly into those sweetly seri.ius eyes.
'ls this really so Mary? I have
feared, of lute, that it was a selfish
thing in me to take you from a home of
ease and comfort is share my hard and
toilsome life. You had many suitors)
If, knowing all that you do now, you
had your choice, to make again, would
it be the'same?'
'lt would be the mine. Yon little
know the heart of your wife, Richard,
if you think that I have the shadow of
a regret. I only wish that t could help
you'in Emile way,'
ellu do help me! 1 Wit were not for
/
your love, and-all that it gives me,
head and strength would utterly fail.'
, 1 0ee whatai nice dinner I . have for
yoiiii said Mrs. Irwin; pointing to some
coNered dishes upon the hearth. ' 'I
don't believe you can guess where I got
it?'
'Begged it. perhaps,' was the bitter
regpouse. ,
'No,- indeed! we haven't got to that
yet, and, please God, we never will.
We had,only a crust of bread left from
breakfast, and thii I moistened with
some milk for Freddie. As "I was think
ing of it, - and feeling tronbled at the
prospect oft having no dinner for yorr on
your ; return, Mrs. Allyn's little girl
tapped at the door' saying, 'that her
mother hoped I'd excuse her for send
ing some meat and vegetables, as she
had more than she wanted for dinner.
Mrs. Allyn is the woman who,, has the
rooms under us, and 'with ,whose sick
baby I watched one night la't week.'
The savory dishes that Mrs. Irwin
placed upon the neatly-spread table
gave forth a very grateful odor 'th the
hungry- man, who, with all the rest of
his dis Comforts; was faint for want of
food.
• It mfiy be .1 humiliating admission
for them to make, but it is nevertheless,
true, that the world loolia very differ
ently to most men after and before din
ner; and Mr. Irwin arose', froM the taT
We with more courage for the sharp
conflict, the inevitable hardships, that
the majority of people have to endure
in one form or another. . •
'See how nicely I have mended your
coat,' mid Mra. , ,lrwin, holding the ar
ticle alluded to before her huoband.
want to go to church in the morning.
You will go, too, won't you?'
Mir. Ilwia bad his hat in his band
preparatory to going out again on his
almost hopeless errand. He turned
back.
'What fOr?' •
The voice was very low and ..reverbnt
that said:
'ro render thanks to the Lord for
all His mercies.'
'Poor little' woman! For what will
yen render thanks? , For those thin,
faded garments, the 'bare walls, and
scarcely, food enough to keep soul and
body together?' • j,
'No, Richard. For this' that health
and strength are continued to us; that
while so many households have been
made desolate irrour land, we are spar
ed to each other!'
Mr. Irwin felt his eyes moisten as he
descended the stairs, though he did not
feel the full significance of these words
until a few houri later.
• Wary is a good woman,' he thought;
'the best wife in the world! I wish I
could feel as she' does about these
things, but I can't.'
As he entered a store whose proprie
tor bad sometimes employed him in do
ing odd jobs about it, he was accosted
: - .: , :Tiwg.pAy:.i:pgcpitj3gß.-1:,..1841,
PM
by s pleasart.looking elderly man, who
addressed him thus:
la your name Irwinr _
'Yea, air.'
'You worked, at one time, for the
Waterville Swing Machine Company?'
'Yea, sir. .I worked for the company
untill they failed, abont.a-year ago.'
'lt did !not fail 'exactly,' said the
stranger. with a smile,' 'it suspended.
It has gone into operation again. My
van is one of the Arm. Rd wrote me to
try and huat you up. He Is in want of
a faithful, competent man to act al
foreman. Would you like the place?'
Mr. Irwin felt It choking sensation in
his throat. awl his voice was a little
husky, as he said:
'I should, very nanc I nave a de
pendent family: and h ave been, out of
steady work for some months.'
Those keen eyes took a rapid survey
of the speaker's wortk,and shabby gar
ments.
'My son writes that there is some
thing due You on the old account. Let
me see—' Here the speaker referred to
a letter which he took from his pocket.
'Seventy-flve dollars. I think . 1
have
the amount with me, and if you will
give me a receipt, I will make it square
with you now.
•
It was a,long time since Mr. Irwin
had bad a sum like this' at his disposal,
and ho could hardly realize his good
fortune, even when the roll of bills was
in his hand.
His drat collected thought was of big
dear, patient wife. 'Poor Mary ! how
glad she will be to know this !' he.. said
to himself as he went down the steps
into the st r eet, puttifig hizi hand is
breast-pociet to make
,sure that it was
not a myth, the monii he had placed
there, as well as the bright prospects
that nad Aso. suddenly opened ,before
him. •.-.! - '
I s
As he harried along eager to tell her
the good lams, and impatient at -every
obstacle in his way, he saw a dense
cloud of awoke in the quarter where he
lived. As he drew nearer he saw a crowd
Of people following some ghastly thing
that was being borae past him to the
station.
'What ia it?' he inquired of a by
stander,
'A woui'an and child burned to death
iu a tenerm6t house on Front street.'
- Front 4treetl There was where he
lived,and ` with qu s i s ckened step and sink
ing .hearf he pushed on. His worst
fears wfrti . lealized. The building he
bad left aifew hours, before was a mass
of sraokinOnini, whose numerous ten
ants were-luddled out upon the side
walk beiside- the few thinga they were
able to snatch from the flames, but
among ;whom his eyes sought vainly for
those that he moat wished to see.
Dastiog•tap to one of am 110thell, lie
seized lier almost rudely by the arm.
Allen, where is my wife?' •
Patting down the child she was hold
ing, the4oman arose and stared wildly
.
-around.
ha*eift seen • her. • The .Lord be
ipod r tn us! it couldn't be her they took
away snchurned and-blaekened that her
own mother wouldn't know her!'
Fors moment Mr. Irwin Stood-Inc
tionlesi, struggling , with the stckeniiig
horrqf that palsied limb , and •brain.
Theo, ss he remembered the ghastly
spectapfle he had met, pushing through
the croWd, he turned his tottering steps
in the direction iu which ho had seen it
borne. :
In the sbadow of such a terrible be
reavement, how light seemed every
other OA, how black • the ingratitude
that hnemade jhim so unthankful for
the rich ti9asur l e of love that had been
his I What cared he now 'for. the oppor
tunitiethrown open to him! How
poor and empty seemed all that he bad
hoped to do and win. now she was gone
whose presence had made his lowly
abode such a heaven of piece and love!
'Merciful Father! take all else, but
spare my wife and child!'' was the cry
that went up kom his tortured soul, as
the officer in charge turned the key of
the room where the dead_lay.
Upon a rude table, their faces charred
and blackened beyond all recognition,
were the unfortunate mother and child
.awaiting identification.
'Oh Mari !—oh my boy I —can
this be yon?' - groaned the wretched
man, at; he turned his shuddering gaze
upon them. -
Here Mr. Irwin felt a light touch on
his arm.
'- 'Richard!'
• I
Turning,',he Eaw his wife with their
child iu her arms, standing just back of
•
him.
The revulsion, trom the extremes of
grief and despair to this blessed reality,
was too strong, and had it not been for
the officer who was standing by, he
would have fallen to the floor.
It - seems that Mrs., Irwin, who had
barely time to t eseape . with her life; had
biked refuge at a house opposite. She
had seen her l4lsband rush past,
.on his'
way to the station, and di , e,ining hie er- .
rand. follbwedl4s gniakly as possible. r
The folloWiu ' day was truly 'Thanks
givingtr day" to both and not only for
the material bl swings that surrounded
them. I I r
And through all the'prosperons years
that followed, years that whitened their
bait and knit their hearts more closely
together, never did Mr. Irwin omit, 'on
that day i to refer to thls eventful sea
son of his life, or fail to render most
hearty thanks to the giver of all good'
for this crowning proof of His good
ness,
."that they were spared, to each
other."
'Say; nia, tell me, is there any truly
ghosts?' asked young lilinallface last
evening. 'Why no, my child, there are
no truly ghosts.' Welt Jimmy Tuff
boy says he's seen 'em. .4 they were
all dressed in white.' 'Jimmy Tuffboy
is a very bad boy to fill your bead with
such stuff. I don't want to hear any
more abolit ghosts. My gracious !
What's that? John I John I 0-h-h-h,'
and the woman screamed at the top of
her voice. Jimmy Tallboy had just ap
peared at her window on dills with a
sheet wrapped around him.
[Freely Transleted froth the French of Eugene
' • Charette.3
(Arguinent: The hturband has treat
ed his wife to the theatre. The action
takes place: in two front seats during the
first net of the play.) -
She--43onsidering that this is the first
time' that you have deigned to take me
ariywhere, I am surprisea that you paid
rxr little atention to my comfort': A
devoted husband would have sOcured
better seats, but you said, of Course, _
'Ob, anything is good enough for . iher
He—but, my dear, these are the best
seats in the house aid I cannot see what
more Jon can ask, fOr I hardly suppose
you would wish to occupy the Emperi .
or's box.
a
She--You.mean that .I am not good
enough for it I don't thank you for
bringing me here since it was only lo
have an opportunity of paying inc
such compliments.
Ile—you are wrong my love. I sim
ply wished to point out when you re
reproached •me with neglelitlog your
comfort that I came to the theatre, said,
'Give me,two of the hest seats in. the
horse rand paid down my 16 francs,
as I would have paid 60tto :give. you
comfort.
She---kby you squandered 10 franca
without knowing what seats you were
getting, so that if when we arrived they
,had opened a dark cupboard and said,
'Get up on the second shelf r we would
have no recourse but"to do so !
He—That is going to an extreme, my
love. When yon, pay to see a play, it
is manifest that they can't, put you into
a dark cupboard. Any one witli com
mon sense can see that.
She—Oh, thank you! So I don't
possess common 64135 e. But I see what
it is—l understaiul it all ! You are
trying to take the l l6 francs' you have
'wasted, out of me. As I was to- blame
because some one else swindled you by
giving you such seats.
Ho—No one swindled me; I select.
ed them myself on the diagrani.
Slie—Yes, you parted with' your
money on the strength of a diagram
without looking to see the seats and
find out if they were comfortable.
He—But it is not customary.
She—When you bay a two-franc
chicken you feel it to see it it is ten
der—
He—And in the day-time the theatres
are dark.
She—Bosh ? Do you want me to ba-,
Hew that inia city the size of Paris such
a thing us a )astern isn't to be found ?
But no ! The least little thingcosts too
much - trouble—you would sooner, see an
unhappy Woman, whose health_ and
happiness the law has confided to your
keeping, suffer agony on a seat harder
than a road.
11e-4'll go for a pushiou, my dear.
(Rising) .
She—Oil, thank you. Do bring me
a cushion every one has sat on. And
while you are about it, see if yea can
find a cast off bouquet that has been
lying under a seat for a few weeks..
He—you want flowers ? How stupid
of me to forget 1 I'll get them this—
, She—lf you took the trouble. _to re
flect about such a trifling matter as my
health, you would know that the smell
of flowers makes me sick.
He-Lforgive me. my loVe.. I had for
gotten—
She—Your confession was not need
ed to (xspvince me of your neglect. Any
other husband, on finding that the wife
of his bosom was placed alongside of a
fat soman escaped from a circus and
reeking with- patchouli, -would have
seen to it that a door was opened.
He—l will; with pleasure, my tlove,
only-as the act has been begun. I shall
have to disturb every one.
She --Rather than incommodate stran
gers yon would see , the, mother of your
children suffer. I suppose that's her
husband there—that grinning
Ife—'fishj my love. He's doing what
.we should do—follow the play.
She—And a nice play it is, too, no
one can make head , or tail out of it.
He—lf you were,to listen instead of
She—l suppose you'd like a poor wo
man never to open her mouth when
she's away from home.
He do not say that, but it'is cus
tomary after the curtain . . goes up to lis
ten to the actors, and indeed the prac
tiCe Conduces to obtaining an idea. of
the.atory.
She-4 flue story it is too. Your
Countess who receives Tom, Dick and
Harry—ha l there; they're singing—
while she shows him oat. Do people
in good sciciety sing when they go from
one room to another. .I'd ; like to know?
And only just now they said there Was
a nervous notary had his citice in the
lower story ! He - must have a nice
quiet time of it, poor man, if they howl
a duet• every time a door is opened.
And look at those doors I Every door
has two leaves, and each time any one
goeS in or out he opens both leaves 1 Is
that the fashion in good 'society ? . I
suppose they draw the bolti at the top
and bottoni. 'pact
.44ce. And they never
dint a doo'r+-not eY ! The - door has
to shut itself.
He--You ilea, my dear, on the stage
it is assumed that there is a lackey on
the (Abell skis to close the door—
She—Oh , t hen there was a lackey in
the Counte ' bed-room when she went
into it to drcas, as she sai3. A nice
Countess, that '? If those arc the morj
ale and manners of ,the noble age of
Longs XIV. I thank heaven that I'm
only, a common woman. And that's
what you paid your 16 francs to see 1
He—Yenta° severe, my loye.
She—l am not, but since .the theatre
is a school of manners, I don't want to
hear people screech in a ncitarra house,
or. see a Countess lock herself up with a
footman. Thore ! one of them has
to dance
He—Didn't you hear hini say, 'Let
me take advantage of the Countess'
absence . to practice the pas I am to
dance with her to-night' That's why
he is dancing. •
She—And what about the :notary
RESERVED SEATS.
She 7 -Easy enough to: get a lantern.
He—Bosh t
down stairs ? He must pay a very low
rent to induce him to remain in such s
place ? Andwho is this new character
that enters the Countess' apartments as
easily as a knife enters a pound of:but
ter 7 She's a Countess that takes pre
cautions about her dressing-room I I'd
as soon thipk of dressing myself in the
street.
He--Ssh ! He , said--didn't you hear
him ?—that ho found no ono in the dnte
chamber to announce him.
She—Then who shut the door from
the outside ?' It must be a nicely run
household--not even a servant to an
swer the door. I hope the notary's
clients, don't —leave their securities
with him.
He—Oh, if you come down to such
trifles— - -
She —Trifles ! Yon consider it a tri
fle to call on a lady
. while she is, dress
ing. But lam riot surprised.; You
have no sense of decency. lam only
astonished that you haven't quitted p2e
hours ago, to go and meander round
the Countenes. I have been waiting to
hear you_ say you bad an engagement
with the notary. r.
He—HuSb, my dear. Everybody is
staring . at.us. You forgot that you aro
at the theatre.
She—Now I see why, you were ready
to spend 16 francs to take me to the
theatre. It was with the" triple object
in -view of breaking me on a stone
bench, poisoning me _ with patchouli
and perverting my morel sense. - You
wish to reduce me to the level of your
Countess, who opens her doors to whole
cities—races.
He—l beg of you my dear They
are laughing at us.
She—l ,won't stay here another in
stant. I'll go
,and get the money back;
let theui deduct the price of the act we
have seen, if they are mean enough to
exact it. Oh, "leaven 1 There all five
of them are kissing the Countess.
He—You see she has just recognized
her five long-lost brothers.
She—Don't tell me I No woman
ever recognized five long-lost brothers
at once. If she pretends they are her
buithers, it is only becanse .there is
some faint spark of shame left in her.
He—if you understood the plot
.T9u-----
She—So I'm an idiot, am I? - Here,
let me .
r out.'
He--Wait till the end of-the act.
She—l won't.
.He—We will have to derange 'every- ,
body—
She—Come r this moment or I'll
prance along, the knees of the audience.
o—oh (Goes into hysterics, and is .re
moved to a carriage by her husband and
a stranger.Y
Stranger-4 hope the air will revive
your wife, sir., If I can be of_any fur
ther service to you, here is my card.
He—Thank you sir. (Reads) 'Mr.
Lion King, Wild Beast Tamer !' (Cur
tain.'
SOCKEEY'S SETTING UEN
NEW MODE OF RAISING-POULTRY, OR TER
LATEST STYLE OF OyER-SEIRTS.
A Dtitchm an writes to the editor of a
poultry journal and gives his experience
as follows: '
Mzzsrzn VE11111S:—I. see dot mesa
efferpoty "wades something fOr de
shicken bapprs nowrays, mid I taught
props meppel can do dot too,so I wride
all spout vot dookplace mit me lasht
summer; yeti know,noder of yon dond
dhow, den dells', you—dot Katrina
(dot is mine vrow,) und me, . ve keep
some skickens for a long dime-ago, un
von tay she said to me, 'Sockery' (dott
is mein name) vy dond you put some
alga under dot olt pine hen shickena,
disk she vants to sate.' Vell,' I sait,
'meppe I guess so I . bicked ond
some of de best alga, nnd look um ond
do de barn fare e olt hen_make her
2'nehit in do side uf de haymow, pond
fife six vest now you see I nefer
vas ferry pig np and town, but I vos
poot pig all de, vay arount in ; do mittle,
so I koodn't reach up dill I vent nnd
got a parrel,4,..uhd ven my bed rise up
py de nesht, dot olt hen she gif me such
a bick dot my-moso 'runs all of ter -my
face mit glood, -- und yen I toge pack
dot plas t ted olt parrel het break, nnd I
vent town kershlam, py cholly. I
didn't think I kood ge insite a panel
pefore, put here I r vOs,'.und I fit so ditn
dot I koodn't git me ond effery way my
feat (vest) vas bushed vay up unter my
arm-holes; von I vas dito shttick, I
holler 'Katrina ! Katrina l' nrid ven
she koom and see me shtuck in te par
rel up to my arm-holes, mit my face all
li plood and alga, py cholly, she chust
lait town on de hay raid laft and laf t,
till I got so, mat I. salt, •vot you lay
dere nnd laf like a olt wool, eh ? vy
deed you kooni bull me ond ? nail den
she set up pod Said, wipe off your
chin, mid bull your , fest town,' den she
lait back mid laft like shoe vood shblit
herself more as ever. ' Mat as I vos I
tought to . myself, Katrina, she sbeek
English booty good, bat I only salt, mit
my greatest dignitude, 'Katrina, viii
you bull, me and flis panel mid she
sees dot I look poet red, so she salt. - 'of
course I viii, Sockery,' den she hit me
rind de darrel town on our side, und 1
dook hold de door-sill rind Katrina she
bull on de panel, but de first bull she
made '1 yellet, 'Donner blitzen,
shtop dot, by golly; ders is nails in de
parrel You see de nails town vent von
I ventin, but van I out kyy shtick
in me all de vay rount; yell, to make a
short shtory long, I told Manna to go
'nnd dell hyper Hausman to - pring a saw
nod saw me dia panel off; veil, he koom
111211 he like- to shblit himself mit laf,
too, but he roll me ofer nnd saw de
parrel all do vay oround off; nnd I git
up mit half a panel around my valet,
den Katrina she say, 'Sockery.. vait
little till I get a batters of dot new ofer
skit you hid on,' but Indidn't salt a
void, I ahust got a .nifn nnd vittled do
hoops off and shling chit confountet olt
panel id de voot-pil.
Pimepy ven I koam in de house. Kat
rina she sait, so soft like. 'Sockery,
dond you going to but 'some alga unter
dot olt plus hen ?' den. I sait in my
deepest voice, 'Katrina, uf you effer
say dot to me again I'll git a' pill from
$1..90 a Year, la A.dvaaea.
you, help me ohiminy cranimuy' I 611
yon, she,didn't my dot any more." Veil,
Mr. Verrie, yen I step on n . parrel
I dond etepp on it, I git a pox.
- Werry drooly yours,
SooLisy Narosacrre.
FACTS 41VD . FANCIES.
We cannot, mug not, bear Patti so
long as potatoes, are fifty cents apiece
and apples two for a quarter.
A hotel on the European plan ha,
Asiatic laundrymen, African waiters,
and a North - American clerk "with a
Borah American diamond in his shirt
front. •
- Heroiint in theft: "These defendanti
are dismissed. The Court finds they
stole a large amount—enough to entitle
them to admiration. Call the so*
ease.• •
'ls your father a Christian ?' said a
gentleinan to 11MM boy on onellooca
sion. 'Yes, sir,' said the little boy; 'but
I belieie he hai not worked much at it
lately.' -
Seethe Wasp. He baa pretty yellow
Stripes around his Body, and a Dar
ning Needle in his Tail; If Yon Will
Pat the Wasp upon. the Tail he will give
you a Nice Picture Book.—Denver
Tribune Primer. -
Preacher (arriving drenched)—"What
shall I do, Mrs. McGregor ? lam wet
through"- and through.' Old Scotch
woman—'Get into the pulpit as sane as
ye can; Yell be dhry ono' there.'
Young lady (suddenly starting): 'My
goodness !' Young gentleman (bite
stayer): 'What's the matter ?' Young
lady (glancing at the clock)! 'Nothing
I thought I heard the' milkman.'
.'I wish ion wouldn't talk, so about
good people,' said a New Haien woman
to her husband. !They sU have their
failings; but many of them wilt get to
heaven, before you do.' sincerely
hope so,' was the curt reply. He was
in a hurry to go.
Is this a picture of Maude- Brani
combo ? No, it is a Picture of Mr.
Tilden. Is it not Beautiful ? The left
eye is closed. It must be Tired. Re
is sitting on'a Barrel. It must be a
Barrel of Jam. ;Would you like to get
I your Little Hands into the Barrel ?
We would.—Denrer Tribune Primer.
'Friends,' once said a clergyman to a
number of people who had entered his
ohurch for the purpose of gettint oat
of the rain, I have often heard . of the
church being used as a clock for One's
sins, but this is the first , time I ever
heard of its being used as.an umbrella.'
• firs. Agassiz found one morning in
one of her slippers a cold' little slimy
snake, one of six sent the day before to
her scientific spouse and carefully set
aside by him for safety under the bed.
She screamed: 'There is a snake in my
slipper !' The savant leaped fiom hie
couch crying: '1 snake f Good heat/:
ens, where are the other five-l'
• e
We can't bap - entertaining a severe
respect for that science which' lisin in
staneously photograph a flying horse,
but forces a man to sit for four eternal
minutes in front of a camera, his head
braced into a pitchfork and his nerve-.
less eyes staring hopelessly out into the
fathomless realms of the undefinable.
'Don't you think white gloves make
line's hands look awfully_ big?' asked
Angelina, holding out her gloVed bands.
'ls it the gloves that makes theria look
so large ?' ssked Mary unite carelessly.
When Angelina got alone that evening
she confidently remarked to herself that
somebody or other was a great hateful
thing. •
Several scientists are predicting that
'the earth is drying up.' Those wes
tern people who haie been catching bull
heads in their parlors and going boat
ing in the streets must think it is about
time for these scientists to dry up.
When a maa sees his house and barn
being washed away by the floods , it is
pretty hard to convince him that the
earth is, drying up.:
This is a Contribution Plate. It has
just been Handed around. What; is
there upon it ? Now Count very Slow,
or you will make a Mistake. Four Hi:a
tone, one Nickel, a blue Chip and one
spectacle glass. Yes, that isllartht.
What will be done with all these Nice
things ? They will be sent to Foreign
Countries -for the good of the Poor
Heathens.: • How the Poor Heathens
will Rejoice Tribune Primer.
It is mentioneii is a peculiarity of
the West that a certain Deadwood man
saw another reaching for his hip-pocket,.
thought the fellow meat to- draw a re
volver on him, and so - shot him dead.
Then - he ferind the man; was about to
draw a flask to treat him, and he much
regretted his hasty act. But he remark
ed that the last wishes of the deceased
should be carried out, and took a drink
from theft:l'6k.
*and McP., San Antonio.—'ls a gir l
.
sixteen years of age too young to be
engaged ?' Not being a girl. we cau
-1
not speak from, experience, further than
that at one period of the writer's exis
tence many years ago, he was engaged
to a few girls udder or about sixteen
years of age, and the engagement didn't
stunt them or affect their prospects in
life in'any way. They are ail married
now (not to the writer, however,) and
seem to have experienced no, : bad ef
fect from the early engagement. ;You'
may risk getting engaged, Maud. We
give you this advice, because we know
you would risk it, anyhow.— Texas SV
tings.
•
Jones was sitting on the front steps the
other night, waitinglor his sweetheart
to come out. She knew, what time to'
came and Jones didn't wish to ring the
bell for fear of alarming the old follui.
Presently be heard the door. open and
the old, man muttering , about some
body's being 'too freak.' Do you Ad
dress yourself .to-me ?' said Jones,
springing up with a flaahing eye. 'No,'
said the old gentleman mildly; 'I was
speaking of the paint on the rasps. It
was put there this alternoon.'. Jones
clapped his hands to the spot, and rea
lizing the force of the old man's re
marks, -reached his room in five minute.
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NO. 27