Newspaper Page Text
110LC()Ill 1 & MACY, Publishers.
TO L. VII.
,it,listw! every Tharatlay, at TOwillaa. Pa.,
;or,' );li' TRACY, Propiletors.
T; „,, t paid in advance, $l.OO per anuntn,t;
,t. •Ivauce st3.i. 'To subscribers out
1;1;', i;23, invariably in advance, the
made to cover prepayment of
her:1 , 1:1 Ilates:--Six cents a line for first
rtiou. 311 i five cents per Hue for all subi: ,
• ..,t ;t..••;ti ns. lleadin g notice advertiv ing
:r line. Eight lines constitute a
,11,aro: we've lines au inch, Auditor's
Administrator's and Executor's
s2.,t•i. Yearly advertising Sir.o.oo per
• lityruttee.: is published in the 1 lacy,
gt,:,re and Noldes Blcck, at the corner of Main
Pine streets, over J. F. Corner's Boot and
• store. Its circulation is 'over 2000. As an
aj.vcrt:sing medium it is uneicelled in its
Our 1 . tubbing Terms.
wt, al: furnish all paying' subscrwers for
ItteI:PLICAN within the puiunty with any
publication - s, until
a! :he rates given below.
fne ItuerpticAs $l.OO in ad,titinn.
St, ,s •rilptu 6, runizlihg hat tlie eutility
U. 2' eents adatihlhai
%;, Yore . , Daily Tribune,
New Y. 11; W.:L:1;1y World',
!• •11'.11a Weekly Times, •
.11.1rp..r ., Weekly,
pi .1•!4.11 . :1 .....
t,itlt steel engraving of Dicke%
N •L•tti American Review,.
Dural New Yorker,
Littell's Living Agc,
Atlantic 11011011 y, .........
cif. 1 y,
I.':.terou's )lugazine,.... .. : . .. .. 1 GO :
! • .
Fla. Nursery, 1 20'
l'.l..rnier's Ileriew : 40
'Burlington Ilawkeye, ' 1 50
\.,:i England Journal of Education.. 2 00
Kendall's Treatise on the Horse.. .. . 25
rrivai and Departure of Mails.
iiis arriva and depart at th' T )wsuda Post-
,!;:e a.; 6,110ws
V., and Eastern States ..
!. V. A; ac (flail [ruin the :North
I.ra, rte., Tuesday. Thursthty una
Lt Rome, -oo
.0 , e,1 poach from Eric and ti C MI
L. V. -e. - ay'xuail from the South 4
losod p,iucli from Elmira and E 1i it IO:40
r.mten, SiOnroeton, Sc
Valley way mail South
l pouch Elmira, Erie and North-
w I:ra, TueStls.y Thursday and Sat.
Momlay. Wedi.carlay and
Friday 1 . :00
1.-11aysville, Rome, etc 1:00-
I .e , lo 2145
1. •I.tigh Valley way mail North 3:45
7:...v; Y , rk Phila. and. Eastern States. 7%45
open from 7:00 a.:at. to 7:45 r. t. Money
1-•-: oilier open from M :OA. M. to 7:011 C. 3d.
gI:C.• open on Sunday from 9:00 to I0:0 a. M.
POWELL, P. M.
Ei-lIGH VALLEY & PENNA. AND
• NEW YORK RAILROADS.
IN , iEMEST OF PASSENGER TRAINS
To TAKE EFFECT MAY 15, Mit).
f:l4: , •r
t..... • •
'ln t 1,041 ,
• • rra ..•.. .• •
r.: .• ‘•• •
N.. r York
•-.. - ‘llle .
Fr. il. Ltown
S U" 1 1 114 stone
V Jan .
‘t.‘ , •rly
T. • •A'at
N 32 lefves Wyalusing 'MOO, A. 31.. French.
tummertleld 6.25, Standing Stone 6.31
' ''' 3 ' 34l3 ng n. 4 . 1. Towanda- 6.53, Ulster 7.06,
51 , ;in 7:16. Athena '7:'25, Sayre 7:40, WaVer
arriving at Elmira 8:50.
leaves Elmira . 5:45 P. 31., Waverly 6:3.5,
_6:30, Milan e;:50, Ulster 7:os,
7 :23. Wysauking 7:35. Standing Stone
nummerneld 7:52, Freuchtown's:o2, arrly
Wyainaing at S:l5.
I r. 14, w and 15 run daily. Sleeping cars on
and 15 between Niagara Falls and ?hill
:1,1:fa and between Lyons and New York with.
Y i t eLanas. Flak)r cars on Tralue 2 and 0
:Niagara Fans and Philadelphia with
(,.lt riAntie and through coach to and from
10. t., st,. r via Lyons' _ _
WM. STEVENSON, Supt.
l'A.. 3fap - iz, , 11. us. A: \.l. lt.
ti Et /Ktirld 'TT,
VtillliPlellial Marble It Granite Work
\ Prices cheaper than the thra
. , . .
...... _ . .
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T'cit - ril44 . B . gain4 . i.io:',Plt,i;. - .,.;1i;g....
/v. lIILLIS, Attorneys-at-Law; OM,
over Powell I: Co. /
WLqI3IIEII a. SON IN C Elsbree and L Ifisttree.)
J, office in Mercur Block. Park St. mayll,7B -
.10ECE k. OVERTON (Beni M Peek and II A Or,r
foal. Office over Mil's MArket 41-'79
Q` MERTON .t SANDEUSON (E Overton and Joan
F Sanderson.) Office in Adams Block. jn1y5.78
MAXWELL. WAS.' Office over Dayton•• Stan
WILT. J. ANDREW. Office . !Jean's Block
TNAVIES, CAHNOCHAN It HALL. OW T Davies.
Carnochan, L M Hall.) Odic° In rear
cf Ward House. Entrance on Poplar St. HeLl.7s
MERCUR, RODNEY A. Solicitor of Patents.
Particular attention paid to business in
Orphans' Court and to the settlement of estates.
Office in Montanye's Block 4949
c PHERSON' A: YOUNG. (1. "McPherson and
i-v 4. W.J. Young.) Office !tenth side ofMercur's
flock. fob 1,7,4
ANADILL '.sc KINNEY, Office corner. Maui and
'JAL, Mr° st. Noble's block. second floor front.
Collections prom . ptly attended to. feb 1 7R
ANGLI k BUFFINGTON.' (f 2 N
vv Williams, E J Angle and E Bagingtord.
Office west side of Main street, two doors north
of Argos-office. All tusiness entrusted to their
care will receive prompt attention. oct 2p,,77
~ 'L ;i~l
WON & * THOMPSON, ( F..Afasis. E. A.
Thompson.) Attorneys-at-Law. Special at
tention to conveyancing. examination of title
and all matter relating - to. real estate. Collec
tions promptly remitted. Office over Patch &
Tracy's Store. toarlo-81.
4 1 00
TAMES H. AND JOHN W. CODDING, Attor
til neys awl counsellors-at-Law. • Oillco in the
llercur Block. over C. T. Kirby's Drug Stoio.
July 3, "1-o,tf.
EENEY, .T. P. Attorney-at-Law. Office in
Itlontanyo's Block, Main Street. .
rruiomPsoN, W. H. and E. A. .Attorneys-at
. I ... Law, Towanda, Pa, .offico In kercur Block,
over C. T. Kirby's Drug Store, entrance on Main
street: first stairway north of Post-aide: All
business promptly attended to. fipeciab atten
tion given to claims against the United States
for Pei/81(31.s, Bounties,. Patents, etc., and to
'collections and settlement of decedent's es tes.
April :B. ly
TOHNSON. T. 8., M.D. Office over. Dr. U. C
. POrters'e Drug Store. fob 12,78
NENCTON. Drs. D. N. &F. G. Office at Dwelling
ou River Street, corner Weston St. tab 12,77
M.D. Office Ist door above old
bank building, ou Main street. Special at
tention given to diseases' of ttif. throat and
3 25 °
WOODBURN': S. M.. M.D. °lnce sud reel
deuce. Main street. north ot M.E.Cliurzh
Steateal Examiner for Pension Dc , -trtment. •
Pare, E. D.. 31. D. Office over 5 1 mtanyo's
Store. Office hours from 101,0 It a. x. and
from 2 to 4 p. z. Special &Mutton given to
Diseases of the Eye, and Diseases of the Ear.
oct 20 77 •
HENRY HOUSE. Main st., next corner south
of Bridge street. Now house and new
furniture throughout. The proprietor has
spared neither pains or expense in making his
hotel first-class and respectfully solicits a share
pt public patronage. Meals at all hours. Terms
reasonable. Large Stable attached.
1 :I 11 I'. VI
9:00 ~. DI
15 9 7 t
2.05, 7.20; 735
2.50; 8.25:: 15.20
6.40 11.30, ....
! 8.35! I,llv .
5.16' t 4.05
9.10 1.40 9.00 3.45
9.45 2.13' 9.40 4lid
10.10' 2.30 1q 00 4.3
10.15 _.:)410.4L;. 4.311
• • ;10.25 ...Z.:.
1046 3.001043 505 ,
:...... 10.54' 0.13';
'11.1:4' 5.26 '
..... • ....;11.18'
3.30 11.30 15.45
11.14. 3.4 11.496.03
• 4 11.53''.0 . .07
..'12.10 i 0.24
12.20 , 4.35' 1.0 , 3 7.10
1 t 1.101 7.20
• ; i 1.25 7.20
1.05 i 6.10, 1.40 14.05
1.35: 5.25; 2.20 8.: 5
• 3.4517.20 4.00;11.0
' 4.44; 3.24 5.53i12.40
0.410 8.30 0.05';12. 5
•.:1w 0.Ø4) 6.401.2.55
6 . .55 10.:t5: 2:20
A.M. P.M . P.M . P.M.
S 3U '2
6.30 i 7.40 3.40
.00 9.00' 4.13
0.20 10.15 i 3.50
0.30 10.45: 6:13
10.63: .... 10;4: (1.24
'.....11.55 : 7.25
1A• 11.03 2.63; 9.45
6 . 35 2.250:10
2.1 s 7.3:4 :LW 10.52
.... 7.5; 11.13
.... 5.19 .:..11.33
3.0.1 5.23 - J. 4( 11,34;
.... 8.43 4.03 11.5.5
•00 9.30 ♦43 12.45
4.3010.00, .s.lCti 1.15
126.96.36.199 5.20 1.23
4.4510.20 1.30' 1.30
5.25 1 11.1 b 5.15: .2.15
5.39; .... 6:251 ....
! 6.10 j 2.10' 640:
7.411 6.00 8.14;
! 8.40. ... t 4.501
9.50 7.40. 9.40 ....
.'11.40 q 2.0 0 ,14.00
P.M. P.M .
ALIF ,d. N., Oilico lu Wood's. Block, south
[ First National ilarat, upstairs. Juno
PII rSICA NS AND SUHGEONS
TX - I - ATKINS POST, NO. Gs, 0. A. L. - • ACelts
v.; evp*y Saturday evening, at Military Hall.
J. kimutnor. Adjutai:t. fcb 7, 7'.1
riIiVSTAL LULGE, NU: 57. Meets at IL of P.
Hall. every Monday evening, at, 7:30. In
surance $2,000. Benefits $3.00 per week. Aver
tge-annual cost, 5 years experience, $ll.
J. R. liarlill)CiE,'Reporter.
JESSE WAUDELT.:4II., Dictator. . feb
RADFORD LODGE. N 0.167. 1. 0. 0. V. 51e - a
in Odd Fellow's .Hall, tivery Monday etcuing
it 7 o'clock. WAIMEN HILL, Noble Gri,ui.
110rSE AND SIGN PAINTING.
DosT, F. 1.1. Nu. 32 Aec 0:1,1 ,sire t. An orders
r will receive prompt ittlttution. june 12,75
EAC Ca 21()N A L
- - 1 ---
110017A.N. G. W., 'County Superintennent. Odlce
-t-u days last Saturday of each mouth. over
Turner .l• Gordon's Drug Store, Towanda Pa.
QUSQUEHANNA COLLEGIATE INSTITUTE,
Tho Fall Term of twenty-eight year com
mences on Monday. October 31st, 1881. For cata
logue or other inlormation, address or call on
s EDU IN E. QUINLAN, A. M.
uly 19,78 - Towanda. Pa.
PLUMBER AND GAS FITTER
WILLIAMS, EDWARD. Practical Plumber
and Gas Fitter. Flaco of business in Mer
cur Block next door to Journal office opposite
Public Square. Plumbing, Gas Fitting, Repair
ng Pumps of all kinds, and all kinds of Gearing
promptly attended to. All wanting work in his
ne should give him a call. jray 27,77.;
RUSSELL, 0. S, General Ineurance Agetic,
Towanda. Pa. Office in Whiteonibem Book
Store. July 12.76
.IIISI;ELL.4I~EOIiS. ~ ~~ '
nELEVAN HOUSE. EL'HIRA, N. Y. C. T. Smith.
formerly of the Ward House. Towanda, Pro
prietor, This Hotel is located immediatly.
opposite the railroad depot, Every pains taken
for the comfort of guests,. ju1y5,77
OWNER; D. D., M.D..
EIOIICCOPATIIIC PIIISICLk7: L Suunrox.
Residence and Wilco just north of Dr. Corbon's
Main street. Athens. Pa. ' ' •
NEW FIRM .!
NEW GOODS !
(Formerly with Ilendelman,l
IJAS OPENED A
OF MEI OWN,„
IN A T TON'S . BLOCK;
With Swart; 'Gorden's Store,
Alain Stre'et, Towanda, Pa.,
Where ho keep a FULL ASSORE..MENT OP
Gold &Silver Watches
SWISS AND AMERICAN
air His Stock !Wall NEW anki of ;Ilie FINEST
QUALITY. t.. 11 and sec for yourself.
REPAIRING DONE PROMPTLY'
ENGRAVING A SPECIALTY
KENDALL'S SPAWN CURE
Is sure in its:effects, mild in its action as it does
not blister, yet is penetrating and powerful to
reach every deep seated pain or to reniove any
bony growth or other enlargements. inch as
mpavins, splints • curbs, callous, sprains. swell:
tugs and any lameness and alt enlargements of
the Joints or limbs.. or for rheumatism In man
and for any•purpose for which a liulinent is used
for man or beast. it is now known to be the
best liniment for man'everused,acting toll l sud
yet certain in its effects.
•• send address for .Illustrated Circular which
we think gives positive proof of its virtues'. - • No
remedy bas ever met with such unqualified uc ,
cess to our knowledge, for beast as wells man.
Price el per bottle. or six 'bottles tor4s. All
Druggists have it or can get it for you, dr it will
be sent to any address on receipt of price by the
proprietors,lm. B. J. KENDALL & CO., Enos.
burgh Falls. Vt. •
Sold by all Druggists. -.
CURES .ltt a : I L B Fever iv e
!ism, Dropsy,' Heart Visease u ,7l7l.
rho Boat =MDT KNOWN = to Man!
_ SOLD SINCE ISM
his syrup possesses Varied .Properiies
It Stimulates the Ptyalin in the
Saliva, which converts the Starch and
Sugar of the food into glucose. A deft*
claritey in Ptyalin. causes Wind and
Soaring of the food in the *stomach. Ii
the medicine's taken immediately after
eating the fermentation of tboAls pre
It arts_ upon the Liver. 1 .
It arts upon the Kidneys. )-
It Rtyptiates the Bowels.
It Purifies the Stood.
It Quiets the Nervous systeii.
It Promotes Digestion.
It Noarlihes. Strengthens and In
It carries off the Old Blood and ma r t r res s ;
It opens the pores of the skin and traduces
Healthy Perspiration. •
It neutralizes the hereditaryluint. or poison
In the blood, which generates Scrofula, Ery
eipelas, and all manner of skin MN:saes and
There aro no Spirits employedln its mann.
1 acture, and it can be taken by the most dell.
eate babe, or by the aged and feeble, earn on1 3
being re!guiretUn attention to directions. , .
.Laboratory, 77 West act St.
Ashland. Selnykill co., Pa.
Dear Sir:-:-This is to certify that your INDIAN
BLOOD SYRUP has benefited me more, aft& a
short trial, than all the_ medicine I have need
for 15 years.
Dear Sir:—l hare used your excelle
BLOOD SYRUP for Disease of tbe Rtg
it has proved to be a %minable tuediciu
: . Nervous Debility..
• Turtle Point. hick , .
Dear Sir:—l was troubled with N
Why and partial • Paralysis, for • a
years, and obtained no relief until
INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP, a short tri
restored ion to health.
Turtle Point, McKea\
Dear Sir:—My littlo girl was cure
!nation of the Face and Byes, by thq
reliable INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP.
had previously intimd to afford repo
thought that tho child could not livr
and hieast waioutirely covered withp..
Sores, which a•e now entirely gone.
Dear Sin—This is to certify that your INDIAN
BLOOD SYRUP has effectually relieved- me of
Liver Complaint and Dyspepsia, after the doc
. Remedy for the Rheumatism
Dear Sir have used your exeelletit'lNDlAN
BLOOD sinur for Rheumatism and Liver Com
plaint. and have (Jellied great relief therefrom.
Dear Sir:—l was a life-long sufferer from Liver
Complaint until I used your great INDIAN
BLOOD SYRUP. from which
,I soon obtained
permanent relief. I also find the Syrup to be a,
valuable Bowel llegulator.
Dear Sir:—This is to certify that your reliable
INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP is the best medicine
ever used In my iamily. Roping the public will
be benefited by this great remedy, I take great
pleasure in giving my testimony of its value.
JOSErkl P. BIttIBASER.
Dear Sir:—l take pleasure in recommending
your INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP as the best medi
cine made. People who are Dyspeptic should
not fail to give ira trial. For inn Stomach it
has no equal. I have used it and know it to bo
a valuable Medicine.
Berlin; Somerset Co., Pa.
Dear Sir:—l was'troubled with Liver Com
plaint for a long time, and by the persuasion cif
your Agent, I commenced taking your excellent
INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP,which has greatly bend
' fired me. 1 have never found any medicine to
eonal : it. and can confidently say it is a safe and
highly valuable remedy
Berlin, Somerset Co., Pa.
Dear Sir:—l was alllcted with a Pills in my
Breast and Side. and when I would lie down,;
could scarcely breathe for Pain, I was also ver7
weak in my Breast and Lungs. I used some of
your INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP and am now near.
ly well. My Lungs are strong once more and I
am very grateful to• yon for such a valuable
Dear Sir:—This is to certify that your valua
ble INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP has cured me of
Dyspepsia and Indigestion...which I had been
afflicted with for yqrs
Dear Sir:—l w subject . to severe Pains iu my
Kidneys, Weakness and Painful Sick Headache,
!or years, and failed to obtain relief, until I was
induced to try your reliable INDIAN - BLOOD
BYRllP.a"short trial of which restored ins to
. Philadelphia, Pa.
. Dear Sir:—l was troubled with Costivenea and
headache, and the use of your INDIAN BLOOD
SYRUP proied most beneficial to me. It is the
best medicine I ever used.
rim Billiousness. •
Dear Sir: I WAS afflicted with Dyspepsia and
.Dillionsnessl Soz years, and failed to procure re
lief nntill bbgan using your INDIAN BLOOD
hYII.UP, which . soon effectually relieved me. I
take great .pliasure in recommending its use to
N0..1n3.1 Locust St
. Dear Sir:—This is to certify that I have used
your INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP for Disease of the
Stomach ana Liver, and have been much bene
TO ANDA, BRADFORD :CO UST
DRUGGISTS SELL . IT.
liV.V.r YORK. CITY.
"iiever- falls to Cure.
Disease of the Stomach
Sure Cure for Liver complaint.
Turtle Point, 'McKean co., Pa
Tprtle Point McKean co.. Pa
An Agent's Testimony.-
Turtlo Point, ➢lcliean co., In-
llENrix C. SI3IPSON
A 'Valuable Medicine.
Berlin, Somereat Po
Dyspepsia and Indigestion.
Berlin, Somerset. Co., Ps
I 4 iver Complaint.
ruin in the -Breast.
Dyspepsia and Indigestion.
For Kidney Diseases.
, •Philadelphia, Pa
N. 1525 Bartram St.
Nt 51.7 Federal St
Disease of the Stomach mid, Liver.
Postaill, Pike Co., Ps
- Best Family Medicine.
Bushkin, Pike Co.. Pa.
Dear Sir ;—I consider .your reliable INDIAN
BLOOD SYRUP the best medicine I ever used in
my family. It is just as recommended,
Remedy' for Worms.
Dear air:—l bare used your great INDIAN
BLOOD SYRUP In my family for World and
Summer Complaint, and It bass proved effectual
in encases, • _
?icier Fails to Cure.
• • • Bushkin, Piko Co.. Pa.
Peat Sir:i-317 daughter was in Poor lisaith
and a short trial of your INDIAN BLOOD SYIUTP
entirely cured her,
AGENTS WANTED Air the sale
ot the INDIAN BLOOD
SYRUP Bravery town or village, in which I have
no agent. Partlctilers given on application.
•Thou dear, - mientilerstood, Delay;
What gintler 'hand than- thine can any .
brow . .
How dolt - thin rotten Death's) unkindly
And halt his meat nAer non the attyr
How dg‘st thou unto Sli ante's - swift herald say,
"Linger a talc with thy weightier woe!"
• How art than rituto. - tlicse whese. joys o'er
: now, . •
A man highwayman, bidding . passion stay,
Robbing the lover's palliest:4 ; their beat
Within the lonesome shelter of thy
Wall Lite's varied accidents we' meet,
Where can we. do great an' offered
Even the longed-for beayen alight seem less
Could we hut-harry to it when. we would.
—Andrew B. Stirlen ialhe Century Magazine.
Baby and I in the twilight sweet;
Bearing the weary birds repeat.
Cheery-good-nigh tA from Iree to tree;
Dearest of ail day's comfort see.
Fur weary, too.'
We kiss and cco,
He gives up alt his world—for me.
Baby and I in the twilight's glow,
Watching the branches to 'and fro -
Waving good-nights to the golden west.,
Welcome the hour we love the beat.
We rock cud sing,
Till Sleep we bright,
Who folds him in her downy nest
Lingering still in the twilight sray,
After the radiance fades away,
I watch, my darling so still, so fair,.
With thankful heart that to my care,
NO words expresri,. 1
Awhile God trusts a gift so dear, ,
As in his little bed I place
My babe in all his slumbering grace,
Heaven's Starry lamps are lit on high,
One, angel-borne,. now Clashes by,
And by their light,
Through all the night,
Celestial watchers will be nigh. •
R. B. DILLm
I bold Lim great who, for love's sake, .
Can give with generous, earnest. will;.
Yet he whit takes for love's sweet sake
I I hold more generous still.
I bow before the noble mind
That freely some greatwrong forgives;
-Yet nobler is the ono forgiven
Who bears that burden well and lives.
1 of which
It may be bard to gain, and still •
To keep'a lowly, steadfast heart;'
Yet be who roses liMs•to fill • ,
harder and a truer part. -• •
Glorious it is to wear the crown
Or a dmierved .nrl pure success;
wbo'knows bow to fail : has wow!
4 crown whose !intro ifi not lesS.
Great May be be who can command
of In m
ime of your
and it was
And rule with just itud tender sway;
Yet is diviner wisdom taught
Better by bini who can obey,l, •
Biessed arc 'they who die for Got •
Aud earth the martyr's crown'of light;
Yet he who lives for God-may be
A water conqueror in his eight.
F. F. BISIIOP
FLINT - VERSUS STEEL.
Mr. William Gray was le young man
of twerty : oue. As a .youth ho bad
never poked forward to manhood with
that expectant enxiety so characteristic
of the very young gentleman. .He had
not enjoyed the advantages of collegiate
instruction, and his education was such
as he acgrnied from the cominou school
curriculum and a course of private
study and general reading. Naturally
thoughtful, having a distinct individual
ity, and being horn with no gilded sur
roundings, the ,world to him was a flap
of labor—a fielain which lay his un
carved future. It was difficult to forin
his aNuanatunce, consequently be had
few intimate friend:4.-H
His observation ofiloniestic life had
inclined to male liiina misogamist."So many marriages Occur in which
there is a want of adaptability eome of
them coraposea of nothing but love—
that very necessary element--bnt . there
most be adaptation. There are other
essential ingredients, not the least im
portant of which is gob(' Bound - judg
n,ut—diecretiou. Alin, other mar
riages are coMposed bf !ten parts of love,
ton-of adaptability, mid eight parts—
poverty. Such couples delude them
selves with the idea that if the only
'love each other dearly, they will live
happily and -prosperously. Oh yes!'
Theirs will be au unclouded Eden of
blibs. The dear, deluded creatures!
stead of their dreams of . Elysium being
realized; they will find a life of toil be.
fore tirtt[c—bllivish toil—to support an
WiNinereasing family. Tueir exper
ierice, like that of thousands of deluded
ones gone before, will be an aditional
proof of the truth- expressed iu the
D: 31. BALL
(IF:GIME L. ELLIOT
Love in a hat, with water and crust;
• Is—Love forgive nal—cinders, ashes,dust.'
I do not believe in poverty marriages."
So thought wise Mr. Gray; and this
inclined him to look upon matrimony
as being, after religion, the most see.
ions affair of man's lite. Holding the
views ho did, it is riot remarkable that ,
he was an individual not easily captivat
ed by the charms of the ladies. In fact,
to beauty of face combined with alt the
'artifices and blandishment of the sex,
he was scarcelynmore susceptible than
.TAB. A. FatoWN
His Wis. was Werary, and he claimed
that trite beauty was not facial, but
mental., Faces and forms are only de
signed to individualize 11£1; that we, may
distinguish .each other with thel , eye;
while' the true being whom we love or
hate dwell; - inside the head, in the
brain. The inner being, the soul, is
what we love, not the face:
This. is a long . prelude to a short
aiory, but we thought it nedFsai y to
take the dimensions of our hero upon
this topic, that our readers may com
pichended the fol owing: \
' It was the last d y . of August. 1880, • ti
usual, August day, I very warm. and just
as dry. Mr. Gray, in connection with
his business had occasion to .peed sev
eral mouths in the State of Illinois. He
arrived at the village on the morning of.
the day above mentioned. ,His personal
acquaintance in his .new location was
extremely limited, ernbracini bat two
or three individuals, gentlemen.
In his business relatiOns he -formed
the acquaitance of Mr. James Leighton,
and -it naturally- followed that he
. should meet that gentleman's daughter,
. ' '''''
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. . . .
lIABY AND I.
_She ;was a; boll, slender
blonde of eighteen; hair of • the poetic
golden color, very heavy, and.'when.
noosed, reacbirig below ber wai4i her
!fratnres W 4 re clearly. cut, with n,
: firmeem'abesit the Meath; her , daik
grist. eyes were remarkably brilliant
and expressive. Gray's observing eye
saw all this, but tbe impressuie upon
him was r only optical.
Bein frequently in her presence. it
was not long ere he found that tis lady
possessed an individuality of character
the most remarkable he met in her sex.
She was unusually intelligent, had an
independence of thought and Character,
combined with-the most polished femi
nine glaceP, which of necessity must be
felt even by such a stoic as be. In fact,
aft( r• u feni weeks' acquaintance, he
fo r ,ind Miss Maud quite an interesting
lady; but that was all.
Time passed away, • and be began to
find her company decidedly; entertain
ing; it was refreshing, vivifying; she
P ossessed,, be thought, lame, I d that
essential of his—mental beauty, He
had considered woman as a weak area;
hire in clmiracter and intellect; had al-
ways imagined her to be in every sense,
except intensity and susceptibility of
feeling, man's inferior. He .found in
Maud Leighton no such Creature as
'this, but a lady possessing : all innate re
serve and a native independence of
mind which commanded his sincere ELl
Mr. Gray became a captive unawares,
and be enjoyed his eapitvity. If Miss
Leighton had any reciprocal regard for
him, he had.as yet re i ceived by word,look
or act 110 token; this, rather than still.:
rag the feelings which ho was now fully
sensible of sustaining toward her in
•creased the intensity, and made him
admire and 'value ber more highly. She
!wait a lady to be won; and it was a
powerful incentive to hint to know that
froin her dignified reserve, whether na
tive or diplomatic, he could expect no
Mr. Gray was a vet) , austere individ
; he was:naturally so and he mani
fested in Miss Leighton's ' presence
none of the feeling& raging in his heart.
Between two ench persons there was
little prospect of either ever , knowing
the feelings of the other. '
A Social Circle had
.. been organized
at Glendale several years previons to
the openilag of this story; and the young
'people of the village and , neighborhood;.
meeting. , weekly during the winter
mouths, I pored their evenings very
pleas.' ently and profitably in social and
1 literary • exercises.
r Gray ad been frequently solicited ,
1 to,joiu he circle. - and , finally, after
i much hesitation and deliberation, 'did
so. Miss Leighton was also an attend
ant.. These social gatherings, together
.rti: •i. utprary exercaies, be .fonn!l
very agreeable, and the circle of his
acquaintances greatly increased.
James Sheldon and Manzi( Leighton
had been schoolchildren together, and
in their childishness bad flattered.them
selves with the idea that they loved
one another; and in their innocent way,
probably they did. Tames` Sheldon
was now a yciung man; and his feelings
toward Maud, it was said, were still
It was very apparent that in Mr.
Sheldon's company Miss Leighton ex-
hibited . much more animation than /
when in' the presences of Mr. Gray. On
several occasions when with Sheldon
and other of her friends, the appear
ance of Gray among them would in
stantly transform her buoyant gayety
into a queenly reserve. 'Was this caus
ed by that peculiar !sense :of restraint
which one feels when‘ in the presence
of the person one loves ; or by a culti
vated diplomacy? Cdr. Gray was -un
able to decide.
Such uncertainty could not long be
endured, to make some developments
by which, as he expressed himself, "to
see if there is any occasion for me to en
courage my feelings for the lady; it
not, then I am arlool for allowing my
self to harbor any other sentiment than
that of friendship.,'
He took the initiative one wintry
night in December by requesting the
pleasure of accompanying Miss Leigh
ton home from one of the meetings Of
the circle; a request which, although
having had more than three months'
acquaintance, , had not previously
made. Her reply, a negative, Was
sufficient to cause a relapse into his
own true state of misogyny. It was
slightly consolatory to know - that Mr.
Sheldon did not accompany her home.
Bat this relapse was not serious, and
he had so far recovered in the course of
a couple, of weeks as to
_repeat the re
qw.st, and on this occasion thmight
himself supremely blest by her accep
tance. , After , this he was frequently
favored,' and he found those
little germs of loie in his heart bad
grown with wondrous rapidity, until
Maud Leighton seemed to him to have
became essential to his being.
• This was comparatively a new feel
ng to Mr. G ray, as be had ;previously
held that he could get along without
womankind, but he was repentent now;
and was willing to admit that he- bad
teen mistaken. He lived .in Elysium
for a while; but the day neared when
he mast leave Glendale, with► ittmany
pleasant associations; but above all
others he must leave Maud. He had
made 11l avowal of his feelings, as that
conveyed with it the idea - of marriage,
and he did not think that a few months'
acquaintance would admit his taking so
serious a step; however, be determined
to continue his. - relations with her by
correspondence if she would permit it;
so he had concluded to 'ask her for
this privilege• upon the next and last
night of hie attendance at_ the circle.
Maud was there as usual, arid' he ex
pected to accompany her home, when
he would ask permission to correspond
The evening-passed pletutantly; some
expressed their regret 'int the prospect
of loosing Mr. Gray, who in return
assured the _circle of his sorrow aver
log the many pleasant associations he
had foil/led. At a late hour the yopng
ladies and gentlemen began.: preparing
r' • :Tr • - , .
- 4- • -
„. • . • • ••
: to go to.their homes, when Mr. Gray
:apprOached Miss Leighton to ;mattehis
wonted request for her coripany. _
"Miss Leighton; may I have the
pleasure of accompanying you home?"
• thank you, Mr. Gray; not this
To say that ha was anrpritea will but
eebly express his feelings. , It • WdR so
entirely unexpected as to completely
confound him. With a profound bow
he left her:
.WivAt could hawcaused her refusal
atter the almost universal acceptance of
his company? Ile .would seek an ex
planation; it -was due- him, and he
would demand it!
An oportunity presented itself. when
finding hiMaelf in the presence of the
only being whom 'he -had over truly
deeply loved, after the tuna ! oliserva
tiona concerning the weather," and upon
other topics of tndifference, he be-
g a n—
"Miss Leighton I wish to ask you a
question of greater iutereßt to me than
to you, I presume, and I will not make
any long preface to explain it; but I
hope you will answer in the same can
did way in which I ask it. Will you
explain, please, the refusal,of my com
pany at the last meeting at the circle?"
"I have no explanation 'to make,"
was the reply.
"I am fully aware, Miss Leighton,"
Gray went on in his pompous, way,_
"that you have that peculiar privilege
of refusing when and whom you please;
but in view of the fact that I had - be
come almost habituated to accompany
ing you home previously, and yon.were
apparently satisfied, or at least resigned
to it, it occurs to me that it is due me
that you tell me why., without any
previous sign or apparent provocation,
you so positively declined my cora-
"I cannot see that an _explanation is
neceattry Mr. Gray."
"I see that yon exercise your pqrog
stive to _its utmost. Let me say a word
further, please;• and before doing ao I
wish to say that this is n 6 time for di
plomacy, but I shall try-to be as candid
as my thoughts, and will be brief. When
I first met „you Miss Leighton, the im
pression yen created was decidedly an
indifferent:tine. As I became - more. fully
acquainted with you I became conscious
of the fact that yon possessed such iutel,
lectual qnaltities and- feminine graces tt .
created in me a decided
: interest. In . my
attendance upon you,; you always ap
peared perfectly Satisfied, and certainly
encouraged ma by permitting my 'con
stant attentions. Now, if this was caus
ed by the charity of etiquette, it islcer
tainly of a very peculiar species; if the
- spirit which actuated you wag that 'of
coquette, you Were wrong in letiding, a
man to think the being he admired
reeiproca ted his own feelings."
"I didn't think it was so serions es
thatr" saict_Mand austerely.
"That was juit how serious it was
with me," said Mr. Gray, "and I have
been a fool for ever allowing the weak
ness of the heart to run riot with. my
reason; with no gain but a painful ex
perience. There is u grim consolation
in knowing. that such experiences • are
not.repeated with me."
"Mr. Gray, if I have ever given you
cause to fancy my feelings toward you
more than friendly,-I did not intend to
do so. AS for • your 'experience,' I
fancy it will do you no harm."
"And why not, Miss Leighton?'.'
"I cannot answer you without giving
"I will run the risk of that." "
. "Then, Mr. Gray." and a roguish
smile curved the girl's lips, "you . re so
intolerably 'conceited and self-Opinion
ated, ao disposed to eontemptuously'
regard my sex, that it would serve yen
quite right if every woman you know
Shoiild snub you as you deserve to be
snubbed. Yes, sir, snubbed! GOod-by
Mr.. Gray! Allow me to advise you to
cultivate humility!" , •
And with a slight bow Miss Leighton
slipped away, leaving Gray to swallow
the bitter pill jiist administered as best
he could. Let us hope that the medie
eine did ; him good.
A month afterivard, Miss Leighton
became Mrs. Sheldon.
Dr. HIIIIWANTIIIII.F..—"A man," said
Rev. Plato Johnsbn in the course of a
very eloquent sermon, "is a vary cum
animule dat don't have a good time
when tie is a baby. Did dat idee ever
'cur to your mind before? After he is
dead he may go to hebbeni but after
he's born, an' till he gits Ale to take
care of himself, "he has no comfort, an'
he don't let nobody else hab: any.
Look at de dogs, wat time dey has
togedder. Dey is born - free or four at
a time, so dey ueedn, be lonely, an' de
minute dey gets dere eyes open dey
begin to plcy an' fool- - wid etch other
en' to 'joy deirselves. Look at'-delamb.
Well, dat lamb ob Mary's . had a good
deal better time dun Mary had herself
I before she was big enough -to go to
school. Whoever heard ob a lamb's
havne de' toofache or !de measles or
colic? W'en night comes de calf lies
down quiet by de side ril, its madder,
an' dat's'lde last you hear ob it till sun
rise nem' mornin'. Did you ever, hear
ob a calf halm' de chickenpox or de
munipt? Echo answers, 'None oh dose
things' 'curs is do lower animule
world.' Now how is it Arid de human
bali3 2 kte ban't gen'rally in de world
mor'n half an hour befOre he begins to
let de whole neighborhood know dat
he's come ut last, an' intends to stay.
He's got a immortal soul, which Mary's
lamb bad to go widont: but it does seem
to me, bretheren, dot lie pays for dat
privilege wid lot ob things dat de
lamb and de dog wouldn't have. on no
consid'ration. He no sooner gits well
started hefbre.he has to bite a rubber
ring all day to get, his teeth through,
an' w'en'dey's comity' through de fader
has to tote de baby all Hite, an' de baby
yeilin' all de time loud ! 'nriff for a town
crier. No, de face is dat de human
animule done have no happiness till he
growii big 'Duff to have a home of • his
own, , an' even den , his misery has just
begun. Bretheren„ dia . complex prob
lem has stilled my sleep a great many
The fodder shocks reeled as the train span .
The stnbbled farrows their whirled 'and .
The frost or. the fence-rails glared aghast,
And the long kinked shadow the oak-anag
Pricked at the pikrupkina , that , pimpled the
The smoky plume of the saw-mill drooped
Low a-down o'er the plank-roofed shod,
As the man at the furnace forward stooped,
And . the old cracked wh t latle whooped and
And our own laughed back as we • onward
A GOOD GIRDS MERITED REWARD. -RE
CHARITABLE AND YOU WILL CATCH -
'Why. bless, me, Fanny, you grow
more old-maidish every day. I wonder
what your next idiosiccrazy will be !'
'I wonder what it can be, mamma ?'
And Miss Belle iliindsity languidly look
ed up (vim thei low fauteuil on which
she wag reclining,•to take part in the
arraignment of her sister.
'Was ever a mother so vexed as I am?'
continued Mrs. Lindsay, frowning upon
the subject of her displeasure.
'Here you are, Frances Lindsay,
daughter of a rich and honorable house,
running around the city among the low
er classes, seeking out your
objects, as you - call them, which objects
ere generally dirty ragamuffin children
whom yon bring hero regardless of our
feelings, and expecting 'us to feed and
clothe-them. There is not a tramp in
Boston who does not know the Lindsay
residence and does not come here some
time or other to be fed and pampered. .
I tell you, Fanny, it is simply outra--
geous.' ' •
'But mamma, do they trouble you 2'
'No, thank goodness. I can't ray that
they do—but then the idea—how very
plebeian and vulgar.'
'Father sympathizes with me—'
. 'Very likely he does. His tastes were
always vulgar; but in my veins there is
no plebeian blood. and I cannot.' And
Mrs. Lindsay raised her aigretta to her
nostrils as if there was something con
taminating in the very name of 'pie
A MILE A hirefur&
—James IV. Riley.
. 'Fanny is just like papa,' said Belle,
with a contemptuous shrug. 'He'd
sooner dine with a poor man any 4y
than the Lord Mayor of Boston . .'
'Whereat Fanny laughed. The idea
of a Lord Mayor in this republican land
WAS very rich, and she appreciated it.
''What are you laughing at ?'demand
ed Belle, wholnew it was at some mis
take of her's.
was onlythiliking I should like to
see the Lord Mayor. 0 Belle, I fear
'lt has not been neglected so that I
am t only in my element among, the
tramps and beggars !' was Belle' spite
'Fanny, you are very rude,' said her
mother, with severity. 'Belle's nerves
are very delicate, and ought not to
be jarred the least. _ Dr. Wallace says
Fanny smiled: . She knew the doctor's
private opinion on the subject. but as it
was given sub roa, did-not then repeat
Making her escape from the room,
she hastened to the kitchen, where she
found a small basket of delica.nea pre
pared by the cook, another of her sym
pathizers, and, taking this
arm, she left the house by the area door,
taking care that none of her relatives
should see her. .A short but rapid walk.
brought her to the door of a dreary
looking tenement house, and, entering;
she passed up the narrow staircase, dis
mal and unsafe. and rapped gently upon
the door of one of the rooms.
'Come feebled voice responded.
'Why, Mrs. Galt,' said Fanny, as she
obeyed the invitation, 'are you alone?'
'Yes E dear Miss Fanny,' replied the
invalid, for such she was, sadly, am
alone, and am compeped to remain alone
the most of the time. Johnny must go
out and sell his papers or we could not
live, and I have no one else. Bat niter
all,' she added, brightening up, _get
along quite well. I have my Bible al
'But if you should happen to be tak
en with a violent fit of Coughing ex
claimed Fanny, sorrowfully gazing up
on the waited ;cheek, on which con
sumption's hectic teal was plainly visi
`God would take care of me,' said
Mrs. Galt, looking upward reverently.
Fanny's tears were flowing, but she
took her basket and spread its delicacies
before the poor woman. whose eyes
were also full as she found voice to mur-
'God will surely remember you for
all your kindness to me. t pray that
he will bless you forever.' •
And Fanny, not the least aristocratic,
stoopedipd kissed her.
'Where have you been,lFanny r• task
ed Belle, as Fanny appeared in the'par
lor two boars Wl'. • e
Fanny did not perceive the • tall gen
tleman who stood conversing ,with her
father in the recess of the bay window,
and she replied unhesitatingly: ,
, have been to-see poor Mrs. Galt,
'who is slowly dying of consumption. I
carried her a few trifling comforts, for
she has not tong to live.'
Belle crimsoned with vexation. The,
gentleman started violently and stepVed
out from the recess. -
'My sister, Mr. Hosmer,' said Belle.
He bowed as he took Fanny's band,
then r asked in some excitement: .
Whom did you say yon,visited, Miss
Lindsay ?' - -
.A. Mrs. Galt,' said Belle flintiantly,
'a sick and poverty-stricken protege of
hers.. We don't encourage ber in such
'I spoke to your sister, Miss Belle,'
said Mr. Roamer, with such emphasis
that the rebuke was keenly felt.
'Miss Fanny, will you please inform
me what her Christian DAM iS r
'lt is'Arelia. I believe.'
LIC•.. , .
• = :
•• . •
_ - r
Mr. Hosmer's voice grew husky.
'And you say she. is dying ?'. -
'Yes=going in quick consumption
'You seem to take great interest in - a --
beggar, Mr. liosiner.' Ilelle iuterrnpted,
liix dark, eye---11:islieit with sudden
limns be rejoined: . ,
'Bo I should, Miss Lindsay, when
that beggar is my sister; for 'Mrs. Galt,
the only 'Ater I ever had, - I could not
find for years. Of Course you would I
not wed the brother of a beggar; there
fore, if you please, we'll consider our
engagement at an end. I: do not care
to have - my wife • looke down upon me.'
Tharp was a scene, of course, , but,Mr.
' Hosmer, who had wooed and won Belle
at Newpori, where he lied seen but one
side other character, was inexorable as
Fate. and humbled to the dust, she gave
Mr. Roamer went to line his sister, seated his son-in-law with 80,000 head
and in a day or two ihe was removed -to of cattle. 'Papa, dear,' exclaimed- his
the grand house over which Miss Belle daughter, when she heard of it, 'that
had once so fondly hoped to preside as was so kind of you; Charley's , awfully
mistress. , But his visits to the Lindsay fond of ox-tail soup.'
mansion did not cease with that unfor- , Have you 'Watts on the Mind ?'r
tanate one—or fortianate,
prefer- to solemnly asks a clerical-looking -, old
say—and after the death - of Mrs. Galt, gencof the roguish damsel behind the
who, in prosperity tls in adversity,• re- counter. 'No, sir,' she answered, 'but
garded Fanny as almost an angel, h is I havd nine on one hand and two on.the
house Igrew strangely lonely. And so— other. Are you a.wart doctor ?'
but why prolong the tale ? He married
Fanny,, and is not sorry yet; while
Belle,' whose 'delicate' nervers could
scarcely endure Newport : n or Saratoga,
went through four seasoi+nt one place
or the other before she caught a bps
Miss Lindsay's views were -somewhat
Getting Married in Nortk-Car o-
A couple from Virginia landed in
Milton the other morning to be married
by 'Squire Lewis. They. walked hand
in-hand up Main street and took a seat
npoa the front step of ,the 'Squire's of
lice, and' the man askel for license. As
the 'Squire nas preparing to make it out
the buxom girl began :to inch off, and
heiitated, and finally sitid to the young
man in a Half whisper: l
'John;' said she, 'I don't believe I
will—l never did feel so flustrated—
lawd ! I wonder what pappy's doing
now—l feel right trem - blesome—less go
back, come on, John.'.
'Well, you "don't want the license,
then ?' said the ?Squire.
'Hold on, thar, Mister; yes, we do,' I
said the man; and he Moved closer up ,
and set his chin to earnest work. 'Non,
Sally,' said he, 'don't go on thater way;
what ,'ral ; the folks say ? It 'ad be aw
ful hard hard on me. , 411' there's the
candy stew at Bob Brown's . tu-night, an'
alter that;-and Sukey Jones would jest
die a-grintiin' over you. about it.' She
was mad is vizen vistetdav when she
, heaid we was comin'—'
don't mind her more'n the. dust of
My feet, - but I feel so skittish-like, John;
wisher mydie if I hain't sorry we come.
I don't want'er get married, John.'
' ; ',Say, Mister, fix on your papers,'-said
John. 'Marryin's nothin'; no moie'n
staudin' up in spellin' class at Oldfield
'Well, stand up,' said the 'Squire.
Bilt as the ceremony was under way.
the girl jerked back; exclaining:
beJohn-dinged of I do.'
The 'Squire suggested that the license
bad been given', and they had gone most
too far to back oui„Aow.
'That so !' said John. 'Stand fast.
Sally ! . Don't git all in'er quiver, now,
gently taking her arm. 'Com'er 'long
in place; It's most over with;' and she
'As the 'Squire said: now - pro
nounce you man and wife !'
‘Lud'amerey P cried the bride, 'an'
is it done ?'
,'Yon bet 'tie—easy as spellin', and
now we'll go,' said tlie man, and they
mounted the horse dbu;ble and rode out
of town.—Reidsville Times. '
Lovuzo Urrrth DpAru.—"Wheti I am
dead take , the manuscript from beneath
my pillow, have it produced again, see
it is well done, and be sure that his
name is remembered with it;' said a
young womanfiyingin one of thdwards
of a New York hospital but • a few
months since. The manuscript to which
She alluded in that parting injunction
to a friend was that of a play, a melo
drama in which little more than a year
before as- a heroine she had won the
plaudits Of enthusiastic audiences which
crowded. he. houie night after night for
weeks in one of the largest theatres of
the conatry. --- It had been written for
her by the bright young journalist who
was her affianced' husband. From it he
and she hoped to reap the • fame and
fortune that would insure the realization
of their cherished, dream of matrimony
and bring their a happy future. In the
very hour of , their *iumph,- when
the success of the - play i was assured, the
author was strielfen'down by a r;telden
and, intensely violent • puluroriary afflic
tion, and after a very brief illness died.
His betrothed wife, the actress, had no
heart ever again to depear upon the
stage. Grief „hastened', the" progress of
the hereditary nialady, of which the
fatal sign' was even their a conspicuous
part of her beauty—the hectic flash
upon her cheek.' Very- speedily she
followed her lover' own to "the dark
river." When her illness and poverty
forced hei,to seek refuge in a hospital
Are carried with her the manuscript 'of
the play, the one sole thing of -value
that was left to her and which she had
refused to part with even when the ,
most tempting offers were made 'to her' '
for it in the hours of her greatest
financial distreas. That play was then
known as "Adele, the Saleslady." The
dying girl was poor Agnes Weed, and
the lover whose death robbed life of
valud for her was Alfred Mack.
The drama has 'beep retouched and
strengthened materially, and will be
magnificently ; produced at the Eight
Street Theatre, of this city, on the 15th
instant, under the new title of "Eve,
the Saleslady."—Philadelphia Record.
Fine Job Printing a -specialty at the
,•. • -
91.00 is Wane.).
FACTS AND FANCIES.
A hat upon the sidewalk !AY; - -
Autl'neath it lay a brick. • -
An aged bum came pact that way,
And gave the hat a kick.
And people who bad stopped to fl
The.awfnl kick he dealt,
All knew the old hat's quality,
They knew that it was felt.
The acme of politeness wai reached
by the Nevada mining superintendent
who posted a placard reading: .!Please
do not tumble down the shaft.'
The Graphic publishes a picture
King Kalakaaa's daughter. It is a very
good likeness, but it has since been-as
certain that the king beano daughter.
A young lady's hat blew off and was
run over by a broad-wheeled cart. The
ribbons were somewhat soiled, but the
hicis now the very latest fall shape:,
The father of a 81._ Louis bride. pre--
Two old ladies, evidently from out of
town, were walking along ,the street one
day last week' when ono of them dis
covered a linuch of bananas. Stopping
to Tooke at them uhe adjusted hiT glasses,
and exclaimed: 'Well, Ido declare, if
them ain't bigger string beaus than I
ever saw in-my life." -
She (bewitchingly)-"Oh,,- I am so
glad you're going to see me to my car•
riage, Mr. - Browne !_ He (fiattered)—
'lndeptl; and. may I ask why ?' "She—
'Oh, because the girls are so jealous,_
and I want to prove that I do not
mueopoiize alt the • gciod-uxiiing men.'
Browne satisfied, but not so happy as
he expected to be. •
hadn't been-tt-sea more than three
days,' yonng•Bubstay was telling his
admiring parents, 'before I caught - a
pike, by George,, that was so old and,
tough the. cat couldn't scratch it.'
'What kind of a pike was it ?' asked
his father. 'Marlin spike. sir,' said
the dutiful boy, and the old people won
dered and wondered at the marvels of
the deep. ..
'Dad, can God see in Übe dark ?' asked
a Brooklyn youngster who strongly _
suspected that his father's frequent
visits to the pantry were not wholly .nn
connected with the presenc& of an an
labled bottle upon one of the shelves.
'Why do you, ask such - a nonsensical
question ?' sharply queried the old
gentleman. 'Because,' returned,, the
candid child, notice that you never
5 . 4... Ittro . ..tarostlir totnatilissis
door after you.'
Indians get their queer names in the
following manner: When . an. Iyian
baby is born, the medicine man or some
member of the family looks oat of the
door and casts,his eye upon some object.
The first thing he sees furnishes' the
child's name. Hence .'•Sitting Ball.' ,
'Red Cloud,' etc. If this rule - was fol- -
lowed by the whites, most of the chit.
dren would he called 'Hoopskirt in the
Back-Yard,' or 'Msn-Going-into-a-Sa
A tu - au from the-country stepped into
a gun shop ou Austin avvritte to pnr
c4se a gun. A muzzle-loading gm
.was shown him, but he Bail he preferred
a breech-loader. 'On account of its be
ing easier and 'quicker to load ?'•. No,
it:s not that. I had an old musket. I
loaded it*, tilt muzzle, but it went off
at the breech and nearly blew my head
off. Instead of a gun that loads at the
muzzle and fires off at the breech, I
want one thstl can load at the breech
and fire off at the other end.'
The pistol in politics: jimmy Tuff
boy is despondent. But yesterday he
was defiant and challenged his intimate
chum to fight a duel, - the trouble' grow
ing out of a misunderstanding as to how
both could go to the SianMace party
with the same girl. His despondency
is caused by.the acceptance of the chal
lenge. Jimmy is only used -to fighting
when the charices are all on his side, but
to stand up and be peppered by a toy
pistol in the hands of his chum, who
has frequently knocked an apple off a
tr4e with a stone, is too mach. How
ever, he puts his trust in Providence,
R. I. He expects to go there the morn
ing before the duel is appointed to
Terrible accident:. The sentimental
young man of Nevr - Haveri was much
distressed. 'Mother,' said he, will
confide in you' I love her, but she
never will look at me. I am poor.
Would that I had barrels of bullion,' -
and he wrung his bands in despair.
'Have courage, my son," responded his,
mother. 'she is a good and true girL 1- )
am sure she cares nothing for filthy'
lucre—' 'Then lam resolved. I will
lucre in the face. I will—' 'My son !'
shrieked the woman, and she Yell to the
floor in a swoon. In a moment of ,
recklessness he had prematurely dis
charged the dreaflful pun.; He' should
haVe been more careful 'of -concealed
ASTRAIGIfr ANSWER WANTED.—Once''
of the East-bound trains coming into
Detroit the other day'was heavily load
ed, , and a passenger who got on , at
Yysilanti vialked,through two cars and
filially halted at a seal occupied by a
small man and a grab-bag and inquired.
'ls this seat occupied-?'
'Of course this seat is occupied,' was
the. reply. '
4 Are both halves of this seat occur
pied ?' was the next query.
'Of course_both halves are occupied.'
'Well, my friend,' said , the new arri
val, as he let go of the satchel.' 'I want
to bother you with Quo more
Had ,you rather would toss that giab
bag out of the window and sit down with
you, or chuck you out and ride into
Detroli with the grab-bag ?'
The grab-bag man got mad at that
and•wouldn't ride anywheie else eickpt
an the wend box: --,Doirnif Free ProPii.