HOLCOMB & TRL
BRAD. -c IINTY
e ' - -;" 4,4 !" • "" '—""" •," -= •
THURSDAY,. SEPTEMBER 1, 1881
-
Bradford Republican,
s pooliabed every Thursday at. Towanda. Pa.,
t . .y ilul.oollß it TRACT, Proprietors. • •
Tort/at—lf paid in advance, $l.OO per annum
not paid In advance $1.25. To subscribers out
of the county; $1,25. Invariably in advance, the
addition being made to cover prepayment of
postage.
Advertising Retest—Sir cents a line for grit
turerlien, and Ave cents per line for
all anbrr
quentinsertions. Heading notice adiertiting
ten cents per line. Eight lines constitute a
sqruire, and twelve lines an hich, Auditor's
notices $2.50. Administritor's and Executor's
notices $2.00. Yearly advertising $150.00 per
'column.
Tux iltrusixicas is published in the 1 racy,
Moore and Nobles Block. st' the corner of Main
and Pine streets, ova J. F. Corset's Boot and
Shoe store. Its circulation is over 2000. As an
advertising medium it is unexcelled in its im
mediate
Our Clubbiem Terms
We will furnish all paying' subscribers for
he REPUBLICAN within the county with any
of the following publications, until further
notice, at the rates given below.
The REPUBLICAN $l.OO in addition.
Subscribers residing out of the county will
be charged 25 cents additional.
Now York Weekly Times,
Semi-Weekly Times.
New York Daily Tribune,
Weekly II
Semi-Weekly 44 2
New York Daily Evening Post, S
44 16 W ee kly 46 6 4 .• . 1
. St
Semi-Weekly 2
New York Weekly World, 1
1
Semi -Weekly
Philadelphia Daily Times,..
Philadelphia Weekly Times,
Philadelphia Daily Press, ..
Philadelphia Weekly Press,.
Harper's Magazine,.
, Harper's Week1y,...... .....
Harper's 8azar,..:... .......
Scribner's Monthly,....
St. Nicholas,
Appleton's Journal, . • 235
with 'steel engraving of 'Dickens.. 3%0
Popular Science Monthly, 4 OD
6 6 " Supplement,.... 2 50
Magazine of American History 400
North American Ileview 4 00
New York Medical Journal, 3 25
American Agricu1turi5t,... . ........... 1 10
Country Gentlemen, 2 10
Mural New Yorker, L 85
Toledo Blade, L6O
Littell's Living Age, 7 00
Atlantic Monthly, 3 25
Wide Awake,
Babyland,—
Lippincott,..
Memoreat....
Godey,
Scientific American,.
Peterson's Magazine,
rho 'Nursery,
Farmer's &View
Burlington Hawkeyei
Ni:w England Journal of Education.. 200
Kendall's Treatise on the Horse 25
arrival and - Departure of
Mails arrive, and depart at the Tawanda Poet
office as follcfq;
Phil., N. T., and Eastern States ... 4:00 A. Ai
busbore, Laporte, ...... . • .
L. V. walvall from the North . io.t*
Sheshequin kc 11:00
New Era, /i.e., Tuesday, Thursday and •
Saturday...
Asylum, &c., Monday, Vi'edneaday mud
Friday
Tray. Burlington. kc
Leltayaville, Rome, .kc
Closed vouch from Erie and NC R Ito 2:30
L. V. , way mail from the 50uth....... 4:35
(Anton, 5 - . c... .. . . 5:00
nerclay.. - 6;30
Closed pouch from Elmira and E It E 10:40
DKPAII7
Canton, slonroeton, /cc
Lehigh Valley way mailitouth.
Closed Pouch 'Pamirs. Erie and North. .
em Central Railroads 10:00
Troy. Burlington, de 10:00
Shealiequitt, kc 12:00 is
Barclay 1:00 P. 11
New Era, Tueada.y Thursday and Sat. •
nrday 1:00
Asylum, mondiy, Wednesday. and •
Friday 1:00 -
Leltsysville, Rome. kc 1:00
Bushore, kc —•••. 2:45
Lehigh Valley way mail North 3:45 -
New ilrk Phila. and Eastern States. 7:45
' .9the.e open from 7:00 A. Y. to 7:45 P. X. 2dOney
order office open from 800 A. IL to '7:00 P. Y.
°dice open on Sunday from 9:00 to 10:00 A. if.
P. Powrzz., P. M.
EHIGH VALLEY'S, PENNA. AND
-4
I NEW YORK RAILROADS.
Ai:RANGE:I4EIa DP PASSENGER TRAINS
TO TARE EFFECT 31Ay 15, isSO.
EASTWARD.
41'4 TiONB
reiagara Balls
•
Buffalo
aochestor
Lyons -
Geneva
Ithaca.
Auburn
Elmira
Waverly
'Sayre
Athena
Milan
Mater
Eau - nada
Wyeauking
Standing Stone
ituturuertleld .
Fronchtown
Wyaluaing
Laceyville ......
Skinner's Eddy....
SleAboppon
Innkliannock
LaGrange
Falls
Junction .
.a.Barre....
Ilaucn Chunk
Allentown
BM.hlebem
L'iston ..
Ph ......
New York
WESTW
STATIONS
.
Sew
Bethlehem ....
Mauch Chunk..
Wiltes-Harre...
L B Jinction
Valls
rankbannoct .
Mehoopany....
Meglyippen
alliance' Eddy
Laceyville .
Wyaluttfug
Froichtown
Itutuntertielk..
titautlinteStoue
Wysanking
Ulster
Milan
Athens
Waverly
Elmira
Owego
auburn
Ithaca
Clone?"
Ly0n5,.........
liocheter
Buffalo
Niagara Falls..
'No. 32 leaves Wyalusing st6:oo, A. X.. French.
town CH. Rnmmerileld 6.23, Standing Stone 6.31
WTsanking 6.40. Towanda 6.53. Ulster 7.06,
Milan 7:16 Athens 7:25, Sayre 7:40, Waver
ly 7:55. arriviitg at Elmira 8:50.
No. 31 leaves Shuira 5:45 P. 11., Waverly 6:35;
Sayre 6:45. Athens 6:50, Milan 6:59. Ulster 7:08,
Towanda Wysauking 7:35; Standing Stone
Stuumertield 7:52, Frenclatown 8:02, ugly
kV.; at Wysinaing at 5:15.
Trains a and 15 run daily. Sleeping cars on
trains 8 and 15 between Niagara ran, and
Pbila
delphia and between Lyons and New York with
out changes. Parlor care on _Trains 2 arid 9
between Niagara Falls and Philadelphia ith
tint change, and through coach - to and from
Rochester via Lyons. •
Wll. BTEWM , I3O2I, Supt.
&ans. PA /lay 15 1881 kN.Y.IL II
_ _
• • GEORGE -OTT,
4 0 lainatal bride I Gruite Win
Yi d
ra? Prices cheaper than the cbea
m3o—tt. WTBOZ PA.
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ILLIB, E. L. Office over Kirby's Drug Stele.
H
Mercur Block. nos' 13,1
QMITH. ELHANAN. Office over Kirby's Drug
IV More, Merc nr Block. . may26'7B.
j. N., Office in Wood's Block, south
Fitit National Bauk, upstairs. June 12,18
VIIMBREE it SON (N C Elabree and L Elstrire.)
4 4 1 Ofitcalultercur Block, Park St. mayl4,lB
"IDECIL‘k OVEBTON (BeV M Peck and D A Orer•
ton). Office over aura Market 49-19
0 VERTON & SANDERSON (kOvertoxi and Jam
FSanderses.) Officehada= Block. julyViS
MAXWELL, vim. Office over Dayton's Store
. aprlll4;l6
WILT, J. LNDBEW. Office in Mean's Block
sprli,l6
Dh.viES,CAutioctiili k HALL. ( W navies.
W Carnoekan, L N Ha/1.) Office in - ? CU
or Ward Ilonue. Entrsnce on Poplar St.. 1je12,75
MERtOII, RODNEY A. Solicitor of Patents.
Particular attention paid to business in.
Orphans' Court and to the settlement of estates.
Ofice in Moutanye's Sleek _ - 41:419
1/1" 43 PHERSON k YOUNG, (I. McPherson -and
/XL • W.I. Young.) Office south side °Mermen
Block; fob 1,7$
1
1
5 65
1 SO
8 00
1 10
3 10
325
3 25
3 25
2 50
. 1 65
. 60
. 325
.250
1 65
2 75
1 GO
1 20
40
i5O
OM
1:00 P. 11,
1:W
9:00 a. 111,
9:15
15 9 7 1 3
-- -,-,--
'P.M; A.M.A.M.IP.M.
...• 2.05' 7.20 ; 7.15
...; 2.50; 8.25•..t...1 9.20
...t 5.15110.301.:...1,....
....6.30 11.30 • I
_ I 6.54;11.551
...18.351 1.181 8.30.....
...' 5.10; 8.05, 1...„
...; 9.00;10.501
..." 9.101 1.45; 9.001 3.45
.. I 9.45 230' 9.40' 4 15 1
-10.10, 2.30,10.001 4.30
-10.151 2.3440.051 4.34_ 1
... ; 1 '10.15 1 .....
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10 . 4e - 3.00'10431 SOS
. 110.54' 5.13
... -......--
111. 03 1. -
........• ,11.1 4 , '6.26
.... .111.18
... • 3 • .;0•11.301 6.45
... 11.4 i, 3.54 . 11.40 6.03
!I. 1 11.5 S 6.07
... . 11 4.1012.101 6.23
-.I 12.15 j 6.24
. 12.0 1 4.35 1.001 7;to
...
.1! . 1.....;'1.10 7.20
....' . .... .; 1.25 .7.35
..:.; 1 . 05. 5. 1 0; 1.45 8.05
....! 1.351 5.25 2.20 8.35
....; 3.45' 1 7.30 4.5 011.00
....I 4.44; 8.24 5.5312.00
....; 5.00' 8.55 6.05'12.15
...I 5.30 9.(x), 6.40112.55
..1 6.55 10.35: 8.251 2.20
• 8.05 • 9.151 3.35
Alit:P.M. P.M.P.11.
ti 9
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9.2 u 10.15: 5.50
11.50 10.45 6.15
.. 10.65 10.5C:11.24
-11.05 11'.5 `•'7.25
1.05 0.00 2.034 9.45
1,35 6.35' 2.25'10.10
7.02
7.20
2.18 7.1°
3 3.03
40.30
'10.42
10,52
BM
Bail
....... 8.01, 3.28,11.19
:
• 3.03. 8.23 3.46 . 11.36
...1.... 1 8.43 4.03'11.65
8.55 .... - 12.04
9.191 ( 12.3 i
' 400. 9.30; 4 43'12.45
9.43; 4.55112.57
..... .... r 1.06
4.30 10.00 5.101 1.15
1 , 4.4010.16 5.20; 1.23
4.45110.26 5.301 1.30
5.2511.111 6.15( 2.15
5.391 ....1 6.25( ....
8.30 ( 9.35; ....
...... .; 6.16 2.10; 13.40
1 7.411 5.00. 9.161 ....
8.40 1 B.so i
9.501 7.40
... , 11.50( 2 ;12.0518.110
1.03. --- I.OSi 9.40
P.111.1:31. A.M. A.M.
T: Wanda Businesi Direciori.
ATrOfill RYS-A r•LA w
X/rADELL & KINNEY. Mice corner Msla and
AXL Pine at. Noble's block. second floor front.
Collections promptly attended to. feb 1 78
WILLIAMS, ANGLE & BUFFINGTON. (// N
Williams, R J Angle and E E Buffington).
&Mee west sideW Math street, two doors north
Of AnO.llCe. All tuuineas entrusted to their
care will receive prompt attention. oct 26,17
ItirAl3o2: & TIIOIIPSON, ( C. F. Massa E. A.
MONipSO4,) Attorneys-at-Law: Spe cial at
tention to conveyancing. examination of title
and all matter relating to real estate. Collec
tions 'promptly remitted. °Bice over. Patch &
Tracy's store. marlo-81.
34-ARIES 11. AND JOHN W. CODDING, Attor
neys and Connsellors-st-haw. Office in the
ercur Block, over C. T. Eirby's Drug Store.
July a, 'SO ff.
ITIHOEIPSON, W. H. and E. A., Attorneys.at
.. 1 .1.4 - w, Towanda, Pa. Mee in Herons Block,
over C. T. Kis,by's Drug Store, entrance on Hain
street, first stairway north of Post-office. All
business promptly attended to. Special atten
tion given to claims against the United States
for Pensions, Bounties, Patents, etc., and to
collections and settlement of decedent's eslates.
April 21, ly
PHYSICANS AND SURGEONS
TOWNSON. T. 8., It.D. Office over Dr. H. C
14, Porters's Drug Store. fob 12,78
NEirroN.Dre.M. N. &F. G. (Moe at Dwelling
on liver Street. corner Weston St. itebl2,l•7
ADD. C. S.. ALD., - Office Lt door above old
L
bank building. on • Main street. Special at
tention given to diseases of the throat and
langs. ju1y19.78.
WOODBICTRIZ. S. M., M.D. Office and rest
dente. Main street, north of M.E.Church
Medical P.sinitier for_ Pension Drpartreent.
lob 22.11 i
PANNE, E. D.. 111. D. Office over lionisnye's
Store. Ofßee hours from 10 to 12 A. :a. and
from 2 to 4 p. Y. Special, attention given to
Diseases of the Eye. and Diseases of the Ear.
oct 20.77
HOTELS
=EMIT HOUSE. Main st.. next corner south
• of Bridge street. New house and new
firniture throughout. The proprietor has
Spared neither pains or expense in making his
hotel first-class and respectfully solicits a share
of public patronage. Meals at all hours. Terms
teasonable. Large Stable attached.
mar 8 77 WM. EiMilllT.
SECRET SOCIETIES
WATKINS POST, NO, CS, 0. A. R. Meets
every Saturday evening, at Military Mall.
GEO.-V. MIER, Commander.'
J. R. EITTFIDGE, Adjutant. feb 7, 7.9
CRYSTAL LODGE, NO. 57. Manta at. E. of P
Hall every Monday evening at 7:30. In
mance $2,000, Benefits $3.00 per week. Aver
age annual cost, 5 years experience, $ll.
J. a: KITTRIDGE, Reporter :
Jeers WARDSLL, Ja., Dictator- fob 7].78
BII. 4 4DFORD LODGE. N 0.157, I. 0. 0. F. • Meet
in Odd Fellow's Hall, every Monday evening
st 7 o'clock. WannEN MIA Noble Grand.
June 12,75
HOUSE AND SIGN PAINTING
POST. P. E. No. 32 Second street. All orders
will rocoive promo, attention. inns 12,75
EDUC4.TIONAL
VYAN, G. W. County 'Superintendent. Office
xv days las t Saturday of each month. over
Turner & Gordon's Drug Store, Towanda Ps.
July 19,75
SUSQUEHANNA. COLLEGIATE INSTITUTE.
The Fall Term of twenty-eight year com
mences on Slonday August 22nd, Mil. For cata
logue or other information. address or call on
the Principal.
EDWIN E. QUINLASI, A. M.
my 19,78 ' Towanda, PS. •
PLUMBER' AND GAS FITTER
TITILLLUIS, EDWARD. Practical Plumber
V and Gas Fitter. Place of busbies' in Her
cur Block nett door to Journal office opposite
Public, Square. Plumbing, Gas Fitting, Repair.
ng Pumps of all kinds, and all kinds of 'Gearing
prom attended to. All wanting work in his
ne sliould give him a call. . July 27,77-
_ INSURANCE.
RUSSELL, O. General Insnrance Agency,
Towanda, Pa. Office In Whitcomb's Book
Store. July 12,76
NISCELLANBOUS„
nELEVANHOISBE, ELMIRA, N. Y. 0., T. Smith.
formerly of the Ward House. Towanda:Pro
prietor. This Hotel is. located immediatly
opposite the railroad depot, Every pains taken
for the comfdrt of guests. july 5,77
130 !OMER, H.
J. HOMIZOPAIIIIO PIITEICIAN k Bratozosr.
Residence and office just north of Dr. Corbon's
gain street. Athens. Ps. -
NEW FIRM I NEW STORE
NEW GOODS I
Ed. Mouillesseaux
(Formerly with Hendelmai,)
ILkS OPEN'ED . A
Jewelry Store
1 OF 1118 OWN
lIMil
IN PATTOWS BLOCK
With Swart; & Gorden7s Store,
Main Street,.Towanda,
Where ho keeps a FULL ASSOIL:MENT or
Go 16: Silver' Watches
SWISS AND AMERICAN;
CLOCKS ) -
SPECTACLES,-ETC .
His Stoat is all NEW sod at the FINEST
QUALITY, Call and see for yourself.
REPAIRING DONE PROMPTLY
ENGRAVING A SPECIALTY
deel6-
KENDALL'S SPAITIN CURE
Is sure in its effects, mild in its action as it does
not blister, yet is penetrating and powerful to I
reach every deep seated pain or to remove any
bony growth or other enlargements, suck As
spavina, splints curbs, callous. spraine,swell.
Inge and any lameness and all enlargements of
the joints or limbs, or for rheumatism in rash
and for any purpose for which a liniment is used
for man or beast. It is now known to be the
best liniment for man ever tued.acting mild and
yet certain in its effects.
Send address for Illustrated' Circular whfrh
we think gives positive proof of Its virtues. No
remedy beta ever snot with such unqualiffed no-
Zen to our knowledge. for beast as well a Inau.
• Price Al jper bottle. or sir bottles for $5. AN
Druggists have it or can get it for you, or it will
be sent to any address on receipt of price by the
proprtetors.D*. 13, J. HrovALL It Co, Enos
burgh 'Falls. Vt. • ' •
Sold by all Druggists.
• CURES
OYSPEPSL
HIES
=PM
:MT 011
CllRESErve'll", ; el.
!ism, Dropsy; Ilearriltsease,'B.,-
lousness - Nervous debility, etc.
rho rest itEEZIZ ittan to Man!
11,0009000 Bottles
.777 is Syrup passassa Vaiied • Spa. tie's.
It Stimulates the Ptyaline in the
Saliva, which converts the Starch and
Sugar ofthe ibod into glucose. A dell.
Jamey in Ptyssline causes Wind and
Souring of the ifbed in the stomach: It
the medicine is taken immediately miter
eating the fermentation of Shod it pre.
vented.
It cuts upon the'Lteeri:
It arts upon the Kidneys •
It Regulate, the Dined&
It Purifies the Blood.
It Quiets the Nervous System.
~
It ftemotee Digestion.
Zt Nourishes, Strengthens and Znaft ,
It carries off the CM Blood and usa , • nem
It the pores of the Skin and inducei
y Perspiration. -
It neutralizes the hereditary taint, or poison
In the blood, which generates Scrofula, Erp
sipelas, and all manner of skin diseases and
Internal tumors.
There are no spirits employed in its mane
facture, and it can bo taken by the most deli•
sate babe, or by the aged and feeble, oareontil
being recuiredin attention to directions. 3
DRUGGISTS SELL IT.
7...aboryttory, 77 West sty st.,
• Ashland, Schuykill co:. Pa.
Dear Sir:—Thin is to certify that your INDIAN
BLOOD SYRUP has benefited , more, after a
short trial , than all the mecUclue I have used
for 15 years
Dear Sir:—l have used your excellent INDIAN
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Dear Bir:—l was troubled with Nervous De
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Sure Care for Liver Complaint.
Dear Sir:—This la to certify that your INDIAN
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_
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ptaint.'and have 'derived great relief therefrom.
DAJCIVB SLISPOON.
- An Agent's Testimony. -.
Tuftle Point, McKean co., Pa.
De Sir:--I was a life•long sufferer from Liver
Complaint until I used your great INDIAN
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Joszieg P. BRUBAKER.
Berlin, Somerset Vo., Pa.
Dear S(r:—l take pleasure in :recommending
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cine made. People who are Dyspeptic should
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a r minable medicine
• Berlin. Somerset co.. Pa.
Dear Sir:—l was troubled with Liver Com
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your Agent. I commenced taking your excellent'
INDIAN BLOOD SYBDP,which has greatly bene
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highly valuable remedy.
Pain in the Breast.
Berlin, Somerset Co." Ps.
Dear Sir:La was sfficted with a Pain in my
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could scarcely breathe-for Pain, I was also very
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your INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP and ant how near
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Philadelphia, Pa.
'Dear Sir:—This is to certify that your valua
ble INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP has ' cured me of
Dyspepsia and Indigestion. which I had been
afflicted with for years,
For Kidney Diseases.
• Philadelphia, Pa,
,Dear wsa subject to severe Pains in my
Kidneys, Weakness and Painful Sick Headache.
for Years, and failed to obtain relief, until I was
induced to try your reliable INDIAN BLOOD
SYRUP. a short trial of which restored me to
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No• 1525 Bank= St
' ' Philadelphia. Pa,
Dearßir:—l Wits troubled with Costivenes and
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No. Sl7 Fedora! St.
1 - Philadelphia.
Dear was afflicted with Dyspepsia and
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lief until I began usin g, your INDIAN BLOOD
BUMP, which soon effectually relieved me. I
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Fuss T. 001 3Ct o gY
No. mas Locust St.
JEWELRY,
13nehtill. Pike Co., Pa.
Dear Sir:—Thie is to certify that I have sued
your INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP for Disease of the
Stomach and Liver, and have been much bene:
!lied thereby. ; _ •
• •
-Best Family Medicine.
, Dugan% PM CO,.
Dear Sir consider your reliable
BLOOD SYRUP the best medicine Taves used In
my family. it is just as recommended. - -
MAU=L COW.= •
Remedy for Worms.
, Pike Co.; P.
Dear Sir:—L have ;need . your great INDIAN
BLOOD SYRUP in 'my family for Worm :and
summer Complaint. sod it bas proved effectual
in all CS/ell- •
Dear Su:-Sy daughter•int" in Poor Health
and a abort trial of your INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP
entirely cured tier.
AGENTS WANTED for the "le
col the INDIAN BLOOD
SYRUP In every town or village, in which I have
no agent. Particulars given on application.
CURES
ILL MSEASES Of
'RE STORM
WETS, Ull;
LOO D.
SOLD SINCE ISIS.
NEW YORE CITY.
Never toils to Cure.
B. B. Bu.r.suar
Dgease of the Stomach;
Ashland. Schttyldll
Mile. J. AtrxeN
Nervous Debility.
Turtle Point, Mekesnco., Pa
D. C. W/NSIIIP
For Scrofula.
Turtle Point, McKean co., Pa
Nir'muuma fizrru
Turtle Potnt.McKeun co., Pa
F. F. BISHOP.
Remedy for the Rheumatism
Turtle Point, McKean co., Pa
flm C. Eimnsoli
A Valuable- Medicine. •
Berlin, Somerset Co.,Ps
Dyspepsia and IndigesUon.
Herrizilimsarsom
4yer - Complaint. ,
Dyspepsia and Indigestion.
Grosaz M. Exasar
For Costiveness.
For Blllionsness.
Disease of the Stomach and, Liver.
nAPmnsWimrimmic
Tumuli Coirratints
Never Falls to Cure.
Busbkili. Pike Co.. Ps
Uzsat VANANIEZN
Mar IS TIM' GAIX?
• Timms s. ooistim.
Whitt is the gain ?
If ono should ran a noble rice, 71
And at the last, with weary pace.
Win to the goal, and finable rears
Abarrest field of waste and team
Of turmoil and of buried trust,
Rich with dead hopes and bitter deist,
And strife and fear mid ceaseless pale,
What is the gain?
What is the gain? - •
When, having reached a audit height,
Through barren sweeps of glooniful night,
Hoping to see beyond the crest
Fair !ands of beauty and of rest,
There lies- before, stretched far away
Unto the confines of the day,
A desolate and shade less plain,
- What is the gain?
What is the gain ?
To sail for months of cold and toil'
Across wide Selig. where Winds recoil,
Only to gather ■trongth ad rem
A lender challenge than. before,
And find;when through fogs thick and don
The rocky coast at last is won,
jtlo haven from the storm-vexed main,
What is the gain ?
What is the gain?
The'raCe is won. we see the light,
We conquer where the storm-winds flight;
We show the way to those who wait
With taint hearts by the walls of fate;
Oar banners dutterin the van
Of battles fought for thought and man,
And ignorance and darkness Wane,
This is ithe gain.,
MAW 4'B BADDISIK BOY
t lCatting steamships on the chair,
Cutting off the dolly's hair,
Cutting papers on the Stair,
Cutting capers everywhere,
That's Willie.
Making "doggies" on the wall.
Making mud-pies.in the hall,
Making "horselnes" of my shawl,
Making trouble ter us all,
• , That's Willie.
Hammering upon the floor,
ghouting. tilt his throat is sore.
Making allyoutles batteries roar,
All of this and even more,
1 r That's Willie.
Soiling all his finest clothes, .
Stubbing out his "French-kid" toes
Dirty cheeks, and dirty nose, •
Caring little where he goes,
That's Willie.
Ah I my heart Is sore and sad,
Thinking of my naughty lad.
Other mammas never had,
Never had a boy so bad
As Willie.
Bit when cuddled down to sleep,
And his arms around me creep,
Asking God his soul to keep,
Then in tender love I weep,
Then I know I hold too cheap,
My. precious Willie.
. /toward jr..FtiVer.
;ONR MORE-ONZ xEss.
Ten little cigarette's in s wrapper fine,
The small boy samples them, and then there
aro nine.
Nine little cigarettes quickly one by one
Get their work in on the Youth. then tbero
are none
Four bearded doctors sitting 'round the be, ,
Each with a different' shake to hie teamed
head. • •
Three big ;diseases waiting to destroy,
All bearing Latin Hanes as Icing u the boy.
Two undertaken, aatitude iu cye,
.Bow low to the doctors as they pass 'em by.
One little funeral to the gravvartl tore,'
Ono little smoker less—one angel more.
One of the breach of P - romise snits
which occupy a large share of the time
of English juries and are condUcted in
such a diverting manner as invariably
to produce '"roars of laughter" has- just
been tried at the Warwickshire Assize!.
The defeiidant was one of the curates of
Leamington parish and. the plaintff,-
whose, - appropriate name' was Lamb,
was a - lady ten years her senior. Many
of the letters which poised between
them, and" of which, it is asserted, there
were several miles, were produced in
court. One of them; addressing the
lady under a pet, name, contained the
fallowing stanza:
EDWARD EORS.
- During the cross-examination the
curate's lawyei asked the plaintiff if
she had even, been engaged before
"Never," . replied the lady. "What,
never?" queried the lawyer; but such an
uproar of laughter folloWed that it will
never be known whether or not the
plaintiff completed the familiar ques
tion., It Makes little difference, how
ever, for the jury gave her £l.OOO dam-'
ages• • .
D. 11. DLLs.
In Tennessee live. William Nye, his
fair daughter Isabel and. Walker Pen
dergrast, a , young man of the moun
tains, -to-wit, a moonshiner. • bold and
brave. As much as be likes whisky,
Mr. Nye dosen't favor the moonshine
brand—he wants it straight or not at
all:. So when young Pendergrast
came to his house a-courting, Mr. Nye
warned him to keep away. On the 12th
instant Pendergrast suddenly appear
ed on Sm.-back porch of the Nye house,
where Mr. Nye was taking his noonday
nod, and pinioned him in his chair.
Then Isabel tied her ftither's feet,
bands and body , with a rope, her _lover
holding a revolver at hie bead, and
mounting horses the daring runaways
fled to - the mountains. It is under
stood that Mr. Nye has organized a par;
ty for pursuit, but he gave up the idea
in consequence of his son-in-law's des
perate Character. _
destEs Itztxx.t
Us. A. Baowx:
Leos or Am.—Some workmen think
themselves 'tired' when they aro only
poisoned. They labor in factories—
breathe air . without oxygen, and live in
an atmosphere of death. They are too
often allowed to smoke, and thus add
fuel to the flame which is consuming
them. They knock off work lired'and
listless, when they are merely weaken
ed by foul air, and made dull and heavy
by an atmosphere charged with disease.
They keep the windows shut and close
the door on health, while they lilt the
gratings of the tomb by breathinglind
rebreathirig the poison from their Own
and. the floating particles of Mat
ter :about them. Open the windows,
let in the sunshine and the breeze, stop
smoking, and you will soon find that it
is the poison of confinement, and not
labor, that wearies and tires.--Montreal
Herald arid Star.
"Ob. fidget, my dear,
The socks. I declare,
Are Jost my little foot's size;
Not too large or too small,
•
But, taken in all;
An agreeible and kindly surprise."
MANY bit P'S.
•
•, Only a,broken violin►.! There it' lay
in the intuVa worthless piece of wood,
rudely:snapped in torain, with a few
loose fragments of string, soundless.
voiceless; yet beside it,, as merently as
though . bending over a = something hu
man that had -died—witk a passionate
burst of grief, as for some dearly4oved
friend, knelt a little lad, of some thirteen
summers.
Out from the mud, with tender, Parley's heart was to win this *roman
catesaingtonch, he lifted up the shat- for his wife.
toted remnants, his tears ' falling the She turned tessera him as the music
while thick and fast, his' s li ght frame died, with a quick indraiiing 'of her
convulsed with the sobs which would breath.
not be repressed. 'Tell me,' she whispered, 'was it.not
He made no outcry. bat his face was - i , erfect ?' , -
white with the anguish of despair. He . , did not bear it,' he replied. 'I IV"
bad lost his all—the friend to stihoin hoithinkin' g but of you.", • „
poured out all his woes; the companion A, vividllasb, 'almost Of 'annoyance,
whci, until now, never had, failed him; rose to her brow; but that moment the
his second, better, nobler self. young musician, recalled by the thnn-
Not many paces distant on the side- daring plaudits of the people, reap
walk stood the perpetrator of the -oft- peered.
rage, a sort of undefined remorse gnaw- His gime now wandered Over the
ing within his. breast. For mere bra- house, finally resting on that: one ox
vado he had wrenched from the hands quiaite face. He gave a sudden start.
of tho little musician his instrument and Of what, of whom, did it remind him ?
broken it 'across his knee, throwing:the For a full moment their eyes met; then,
pieces in the mud. with a sudden inspiration, be drew his
Realizing dimly that he bad commit- hew, •
ted a coward's and a bully's not, betook Whst was he playing ?. was ' ca
ffein his poeket a smell coin Sul tossed denie no man had' ever heard before.
it toward the boy. It seemed to tell an" unknown story, if
'Take that,' he cried, 'and atop your but one could have interpreted it. It
whimpering. You've no business to began in a storm of grief, of passionate
play your made in the public streets. anguish and despair, unreasoning,
You're a beggar and a nuisance l' hopeless; then following a lull, a rift. in
But in an instant, with flashing eyes the clouds, a sudden gleam of sunshine,
and head thrown proudly back, the lit- a heavy toiling of weary feet, often torn
tie street Arab halting the money and bleeding; bat with that rift of stun
back. , shine never quite hidden by the clouds
( you think yon can pay me thus he overhead. no matter how dark •Or dense
replied, in frenzied tones. •It is I who th e y ga th ere d ; they came a beret of
crwo - yOu a debt I yet win use to wipe triumph, a song (it many, a transpors,
out I' of passion, and then peace.
.
_ They stood one instant looking stea
dily into each 'other's eyes—one the
senior of the other by some three or
fear years, tall and powerful, clad in
bioadcloth and fine linen—one a little,
shrinking lad, his ragged clothes be
spattered with the mud of the streets.
At this moment, au open carriage
rolled by, bat ihe little girlaeatedwithr
in it had; with her quick eyes, discover
ed something amiss.
She had seen the disdainful return of
the rejected coiu; - she had heard the
bOy's words; she had marked the traces
of a passionate grief upon his fitee; and
with a hasty command to the coachman
to stop, she called him to her. , 1
'What aro you about to jlo, Miss
Selma? questioned the lady : :with her,
her governess.
'Nothing naughty, dear Miss 'twin,'
she replied; 'This poor boy—see, his
violin is broken. lam so sorry for
him!'
The lad slowly had approached the
carriage, in obedience to her command;
but there was no light is his face, no
eagerness in his step.
'How did this happen ?' asked the
little girl.
Carl, looked up. Was this an angel
who spoke to him T He bad never seen
any one half so lovely Her hair float
ed about her shotilders in a shower of
gold, and resting on it was a white hat,
with elong white plume drooping far
down ;behind; her eyes were like two
purple pansies; - op: her 'cheek was the
flush of the sunrise; her lipt were red
as the carnation, though they quivered
with her unspoken sympathy.
The boy held rip the broken pieces of
his violin.
'lt was my all I' he said.! 'I shall
starve now, but lam glad of that, for I
did not love it only that it brought me
bread. I`loved it—l loved it because it
talked to ine; and with it I was never
' 7 Bfit cab you not buy another ?'
'I have no money, miss.. I can never
make enough, since this has gone. I
had hoped one day. to buy something
better than this, but now the day will
never come 1' ,
A shade of thoughtfulness crejit over
the sweet; fair face. •In one little glov
ed ' hand she bald a tiny purse, and
within it three bright, glittering gold- .
pieces shone. They were to purchase
a coveted doll; her fond father's
birth
day gift.
She; turned hastily to her governess.
'Please, 'Miss Irwin, do you think
papa would be displeased if I do _ not
buy thy, doll? No, no—l know he
would not I'
Then, waiting for no' reply, she preen
ed the purse into the boy's bands.
'Go by your violin,' she said. 'No,
you must net:retura this as you return
ed the, other money; but some day.
when zee are a great musician, you
shall repay me. Who know! ? you may
play at my wedding.' -
And with a little, light laugh, as the
carriage started forward, the child, with
a wave of her baud, disapwared. -
The boy stood motionless, wrapt in a
sort of ecstasy. No doubt that a veri
table angel had visited Mil, crossed his
mind. Hid be been dreaming ' ? No;
for within his hand lay the dainty purse.
Opening it almost with
_reverence, the
shining piece of gold met his gaze; but
something else as well—a . little piece of
pasteboard., and upon 'it written a name
and-addresii. The lad Pfted it to his
lips.
'lt is another debt I owe,' be said
softly to himself. -
• * *
Ten years later, and on a bright star
lit night in .January, the New York
Academy of Music was filled from pit
to dome: The great vitdinisto Herr
Carl Beiberg was to appear. He was
very young, not twenty-three, the crit.
ics said, ind yet he bad reached the
zenith of hie fame. A great wave of
applause greeted biro as he came for
ward to the centre of the- stage. He
was tall but alight, with larp, dreaniy
eyes, and a month whoae - sensitiveness
the blonde musta-die could not wholly
bide. With& soft, caressing motion,
he drew the bow acrois the strings. Ai;
almost human voice of exquisite melody .
'mmed to respond. The house held its
I breath to .
In one of the lower proscenium boxes
sat a „young girl of nineteen. She wore
no hat, and in bill' golden hair ihere
gleamed a dbunoad star. Sbe., was
heiutiftd with a rare loireliness. There
io fairer in all 'that crowded as-
Semblage. Behind her,. Wining on the
back of her °Lair, Was' a - young man
wheats gaze of rapt adiniration never
withdrew itself—a mai of superb height
and breadth of fors:LOW with eyes and
hair dark as the nigh—eyes which
glowed with feeling as they dwelt upon
her Lace, for the hope nearest Fairfax
The last note seemed to have no end
ing. Its echoes lingered in amelodione
hash, and rang iq the of ap
plause.
The girl in the box tore the violets
from her breast, and threw them at
Herr , Seiberg's feet. Flowers rained
everywhere, bat these only he stooped
to gather. These ho held so tightly
that their crushed fragrance was waft
ed to his asides as he bowed his adsisix.
The riling musician was the lion of
the hour. Fashionable ladies sought
. him out. Invitations to fetes, and re
ceptions, and dinners, rained upon him.
It was at one of these latter that he awl
Miss Laurence met:
have pressed your flowers,' he Said
to her, in a low voice. . 1
'My flowers ?' she answred, with a
blush. i
Then she remeribered the violets she
so imphlaively had thrown hini.
had almost forgotten,' she added.
'What was it, Herr Seiberg, that you
played ? It has haunted me ever
since.'
•
'Some day,' he replied, 'I will tell
you., Now yon shall' know only that
you were its Inspiration.'
Were his words presumption ? She
could not answer; 'neither could she
know the strange power iwhich ever
swayed her in this times presence.
'You do not teach ?' she said to him,
one day.
'No.' he answered. 'But if You will
be , my pupil , it would be indeed" a
pleasure.'
'And your terms'?'
HiS face Suited.
need no gold,' he responded. t 'lt
is only that some day you should hear
my story.' .
-*• * * *
see nothing of you, Selma.' said
Fairfax Farley, during :this time. 'Do
you forget that I have some claims ?'
'No, I forget nothing,' she said.
'But there was min' ee rather than
happinestin her tone. ; .
'Are you not yet ready to give me
your answer, dear ?' the man continued.
'Why do you hold me in. suspense'?
Why, darling, may I not have the . sweet
:promise that I crave
'Did she shudder? If so, it was but
momentary, as the sweet young' voice
Made answer. .
'Tule,' it said, •you have been very
very patient; but be so yet a little lon
geri Let me but be sure of myself. It
ier only.for this asstinuies, Fairfax, that
I wait.'
But underneath Fairfax Farley's
courteous calm was a seething mael
strom; a burning jealousy.
Two weeks later, he , waited outside
Mies Laurence's home until Herr Bei
berg stood 012 the steps, in the moon
light. He had been passiiii the even
ing With her. The two tied dined at
her table. hoar before, Mr. Farley
bad made his adieux. •
'Herr Seiberg
It was his voice, addressing the young
gIUSIOI4II.
'Yes,' he responded, his surprise i
showing in. his tone. .
have waited for you.' continued
Mr. Farley, 'in order to ask Of you a
pier. It is a great favor, but money
need be no object between as. lam
willing to ply you any price, however
fabulous; and although I know it' is
quite out of your line, I want very
flinch that you should play one solo at
my wedding.'
' In the moonlight, Herr Seiberg'i face
showed a strange pallor.
• 'At your wedding l You are to be
married ? May I inquired to whom r
*Miss Laurence is' my .betrothed.
Had pin not heard r
Both in question and answer - rang a
strained intensity; but the silence that
followed bad dumbness more
force than either. Then He* Beiberg
spoke. _ '
'To-morrow night. at this bow; you
shall have my decWoo,' be said. and
Rapidly strode away. • -
Before noon. the day following, Bliss
Laurence received Herr Seiberg's card.
Penciled on it were these wards:
'Pardon my intrusion, and grant me
half-hour's interview *lsiah to bid
yon farewell.'
Farewell ! There was a certain epos.
nualb3 Buttering of her heatt , as she
dimly realized its purport.
What (IA this sudden departure por
tend ?" and •by--why did it cause this
taint sio.ness , which stole through every
pub° and fibre of her being ? -
'Mow Herr fieiberg up, , she said to
the servant; then, schooling berself to
calm. sat wilting him.
On the - threshold of the rOom he
paused.
"'You salted me once, Miss Lattreme t '
bo began. 'the story my violin told on
the night we met. I answered that
some time you should know.
it worry you_ to hear it now.'
`She bowed assent, and motioned , to
a chair; but he still stood.
'I must go back many yeari,' he said,
'to the time when I was a HUM hid,
foot-sou and friendlesa • Nay not
friendless I had one friend—a poci,
little piece of wood, with strings mow
it; but forgot' that it was wood.
In my hours of loneliness:and griei
and sadness,- I would talk ' to it, and
then by idly drawing my bow across its
strings, it would answer me. Ab, no
one would have believed it but
myself,, but it pointed to me the
future--it told me all that I might be—
•
it whispeied courage—it breathed hope.
Well, one , day, strolling through the
streets, touching its chords, asking no
alms—l never begged—a boy older than
I, taller, stronger, a boy richly dressed,
and with- a gold chain hanging at his
vest; stopped and mocked me. I wak
ed In silently. He followed , me, 41:,
in au unprepared moment,;snatched my
violin. and, snapping it across his knee,
threw Win the filth and mud of the
street.
• was stunned. The magnitude of
my loss overwhelmed me. The surging
tide of my despair closed in about my ,
soul. I saw neither- earth nor sky—
naught save the shattered, voicAdess
wood. Wlkbork L ..Le &ilea -wscriaattli the
wanton, Wicked, act, threw me a coin.
It roused me from my stupor. I caught
and hurled it back. Not thus might he
pay the debt I owed to him.
'ln that moment a carriage passed:
Seated within was a beautiful child—a
little girl. She ordered the coachman
to atop. She -had seen something of
what had happened: She inquired the
cause of my distress. Then, with a
tender pity in hereyes, and a voice like
music, she put heti parse into my hands
and bade no use its contents as I would.
"Some day,' she said, 'when you are
a greai musician, you shall repay me.
Who knows ? you may play at my/wed
ding I"
The girl's head was towed now. Her
bosom rose and fell. Two sparkling
tears glimmered on the lashes which
swept her cheek. Like a dream it all
came back to her; like &Vision, she saw
the boyish face uplifted to hem through
a mist of tears. ..
Herr Seiberg strode to her side. He
put his hand within his coat and drew`
something forth. Instinctively she
knew it to ; be the little purse. -
'lt has never left me,' be said hoarse
ly. 'I owe all that I amio you. The
gulf between us is as wide now as then.
I have never hoped: to cross it. You
are the heiress of a rich man. •I, too,
have wealth, but that cannot wipe out
the past. Let me tell you though what
I did. I took your money and bought
with Wray, violin. The man who sold
it to me bad a kindly face, and when A
paid him for it I asked of him a favor.
_"The money with which I purchased
this was lent to tue,' I said. 'I would
like--oh, so very much !—to keep the
same gold. Will you. lay it aside for
three months, when may redeem it ?
I do not know that I can, but I will save
every penny I earn, if you will but do
this for me.'
'The man smiled an] consented. '
'He marked the gold' in my sight, and
laid it away. Within the time I had re
gained possession oft it. It is 'here,
Miss Littrence. It seems a trifling sum
now to both of us, but , remember that
it has made me all that I am. Yet its
payment does not pay .'our debt. You
said, perhaps I might play at your
wedding. Command me, and I obey,
even though I thus forswear my second
debt to the boy who a second time, in
manhood, causes me thedeepest misery
my life hail known.'
He paused, and held outstretched
toward her the opeft purse. -His face
was like marble; his eyes shone with a
wonderful fire.
'Of what are you \speaking ?' she
said, gently. 'Whom am Ito marry
'Last night, he told 'me you were his
betrothed.'
'He ? who ?'
'Fah4ax Farley I'
'lt is not true. He has wished , it so,
but I did not know my own heart, and
asked that ho should wait. I know' it
now. 'I know that it can never be.
Carl, You spoke of the gulf between us;
Is it one that love will 'hot bridge ?'
:The next night, Fairfax Farley and
Herr Seiberg, met.
'You have decided ?' asked the for
mer.
"It is impossible Carl replied; 'but
since you so kindly have asked me to
play at your wedding, 'may I not 'ask
you to dance atj mine r
'Ah, you are 'betrothed, then ?'
'Yes.'
'And to whom ?'
'Miss Laurence.' the young musician
answered proudly.
Two little wards—a name won't* be
merged into another identity; but their
moment-utterance had canceled his two
fold debt—redeemed his boyhood's
vows.—Saturday Night;
A leafy background, two noble trees,
a hammock swigging beneath, and she
on whom your heart is fixed lazily
swinging in the same, is a very pretty
picture, young . man, very pretty, and
we do not Warne you for being attract
ed by a magneto! such wondrous power.
But consider ilyoulmeans will enable
you to keep that picture all your days,
or whether in the...coming time it will
not be
. l sopplakted by a chromo of a
wornorit, jaded woman frying dough
nuts over a hot fad in the middle of a
hot summer day. The two pictures are
intimately conOcted. -- New Haven
Register; , 4 o _
A Doubleßarreled J'o.
The other evening. round at MeGov.-
ern's ealoou,' the boys Were put,tbg up
an elaborate practical joke on some
body, and they i nsked old Capt. Skiday,
vfllo had jnst happened in, to take a
hand.
; 'No, gentlemen,' said that estimable
old citizen, decisively, 'you doitot catch"
me taking part in any practical jokes.
I went out of that business for good
over ten , years ago.' • ,!
"How was that?' asked the group of
beer exterminators.. -
Would
'Well, it was in the winter of 1870,
may. be 1871. I was living at Daven
port, lowa,-and a mannsmerounfi there
giving balloon aseenadonii.. One day it
was advertised that the Mayor of the
town was going up with Adm. Now;
the Mayor was a big, fat man always
wore a light suit of clothes and a white
hat.. Tbia put me in the notion of
working off a joke on the people. I
got acquainted with the ieronint, and
he agreed to assist in the scheme. We
then got an old snit of light clothes,
and fixed up a dummy, which we filled
with sand, so that it weighed' about two
hundred pounds, and would, therefore,
drop straight and heavy like a man.
The ilayof the ascension there were over•
thirty thousand people on the ground,
and the excitement was very . great, as
theie was a high wind blowing at the
time. After the balloon got up about a
mile, and may be that fir south of the
town, they dropped the dummy
'Big sensation then, eh,' -
• 'Well, I should say so. But that is
just where I" lost- my grip. While the
crowd Was shouting aid going wild with
horror," I just laid down on the grpund
rolled over, and laughed until I was jus •
sick.'
411 w -um think tha asewara urcissLi .
taken a tumble, too,' suggested the
audience.
'But just wait.
~of coarse the crowd
made a break out of town to serape up
the remains,' and I rutted home to get
my fishing tackle, for it struck me that
the most healthy thing I could do would
be to go fishing for a. day or two. Be
fore I left the house, however, I was
arrestrd for - murder.'_
`For murder?'
'Exactly. A lot of the boys, accoM
panied by . the sheriff, rushed in and col-.
laced They claimed that the dum
my had fellea on a farmer. and driving
his skull clear into the heels of his
boote. • . They said that -the ballooned°
had. turned- State's evidence; and the
chances were I would be hung by a
mob before night.'
'That was rough.'
'Well, so I thought. I 'was just scared
1 plum - to 'death, and begged the boys to
stand by and protect me. I ponied up
$5O for legal expenses, and they hid me
in , the garret of a neighbor's house.
They kept me there ten blessed days;
and there was note day - but_ they struck
me for a twenty or, two for contingen
cie& One 'night' the whole gang came"
around full of beer—on my money,mind
you:--and said that they•had concluded,
as additiofial precaution, to hide main
the hollow of as old i.oak tree about
three miles out in the woods. I saw
through the whole business then, and
drove them out with a club,. It was a
goOd square case of the biter bit, I
know, but' they never let up calling me
'Dummy Skiddy' after that, until they
actually ran me me out of town, and I
'had to - emigrate to this lumping-off
place of creation.' and the captain
shook hie head with a disgusted air as
he paid for his hot Scotch and walked
I Out. —Amick Dodd in San Francisco
k AM.
Swope and Mn.s Swope are barely
out of their teens, and yet they have
fOund 'time to meet, to court, to love, to
marry, to quarrel and to pa 4. The
Swopes live at Mendota, 111. I.. When
they parted - the wife carried off the
baby. The other day thd baby was
taken by its mother to_ the court house,
the father, snatching" it from the mater
nal arms,tried to get to hiscartia' ge,near
by. Mother; mothefin-law and quite
a number of women performed a wild
wardance around the paternal kidnap
per, but the kid was napped and placed
in the hands of a noise in a neighbor.
ing town. Before the child had been
in the custody of the nurse twenty-four
hours the mother made her appearance
and, before the nurse could offer object
isne,, she caught up the child, Skipped
out. of thdhouss, drove furiously over
into her county and arrived safely at
her father's house with the little charge.
The spunky hiroine is now master of
thd situation. Inaganch as both hus
' band and Wife are of wealthy and re
spectable families the affair is caning
considerable interest for miles around
Mendota
*The Use of Wealth.
There are thousands of rich men who
are not skinflints, who have the reputa
tion of being so, becaise they
. have nev
er been known to have done any special
good with their money. d. man who is
worth $50,000 can do more to inake
himself loved and respected by 111/1 with
whom he comes in contact by the judi
-diens expenditure of $l,OOO in charity
than by giving the whole 850,000 after
he is dead. It seems as though it would
be mighty small consolation to a .mil
lionaire to leave money to some charit
able purpose after death, and be so con
founded dead that he could not see the
smiles of happiness that his genervity
had created. -
Supposes millionikire who has never
had a kind word said of him except by
fawning hypocrites, who hope to get
some of his money, should lay out s'
beautiful park, worth 111,000,000, and
throw it open free to all, with walks,
drives,- lakes, shade and everything.
Do not you suppose if he took a drive
through it himself and saw thousands
of people having a good time, and look
ing they love and respect for him, that
his heart would be warmed up and that
his days would be lengthened? Would
not every look of thanks be worth
$l,OOO to the man who had so much
money that it made him round-shoul
dered? Would notho - have mom pleas
ure than he would in cutting off oon
pone with a lawn-mower?—Peck's Mil
waukee Bun.
'i
PACTS 42ND FANCIES.
r
Bitting Ball is horribly ugly. -Au ()Bl
eier showed him Olooking-ghust the other
day and frighteiml the old mut so that
be rushed up to headquarters and sur
rendered six times in ten minutes.
'You do not find any flies in the but
ter which I put on my table.' said a
Boston boarding mistress, proudly.
'No,' replied it boarder, 'it Leto° bong
for them.' That boarder rntaiOen im-
mediate notice to quit.
Which is the greatest nuisance. the
Canada thistle, the white daisy or the
English sparnreiwas the 'talent subject
bbfore an agricultural mist*, and all'
agreed that city brass beat thothree
noiatneet two to _
When he returned to his seat in the
theatre and said he bad just stepped out
to see some one, she gravely responded,
'lt must have been the Evil One; and
when the young man- asked tit she saw
the cloven Soot,' -she turned rip her
pretty nose and said, but I smell
the clove in breattO
The manner in which the isHle.clah
young men of the period - cinema the
billiard-ball nixed knobs that Auld to
them in lien of heads when meeting
dies can only be equaled in grace by the ,
financial secretary of the organ-grinder
when he removes his heid•covering for
the ptirpose of making an assessment.
—Susan B. Anthony:
Nobody can &Lipase the average
country apothecary for a truly accom
dating spirit, and genuine politeness.
'Can you give me a postage stamp?
asked a young lady of the pharmacy
Send. 'No,' he replied, bending his
body at a Chesterfieldisn angle -.and .
smiling seductively at the fair fpplicant.
'1 can not give you a postage stamp, but
mai oeunnak 41711,111111114
He' came to bid her good-bye / and
found her weeping, 'Cheer up, du
ling,'t he slid tenderly, feeling-for her
eyes with his pocket-handkerchief.—
'Cheer up; I am only going to be ab
sent for a week.' 'But I can not cheer
up,' sobbed the disconsolate maiden,
with a • fresh yank at her . tear pump.
'Poor little Gyp got into 'S fight With
another. dog to-day and he is nearly
chewed up'. , -
I'wolrishmen were poring overthe news
in one of our city 'rapers, andeoming 4
to the heading "Latest," and izamediate
ly following it "Very Latest," one said
to the other: "An' sure, Tim, will ye
be either explainin' what this means?' -
'Arra, boded,' said Tim, .'an' it's me
self that can explain that to ye. Sure
the latest is what comes 'in time to be
printed, and the very latest is what
comes either the paper is oat.'
A sense of the fitness of things is in
some natures superior to the agitation
which either great joy or sorrow *ruses.
A Long Island lad who had
. visited the
watermelon bed once too often came
home quite suddenly and after a contest
with the 'grim destroyer' which lasted
all night, gave up the ghost. A - few days
after the fiuseral the artist who was pre- -
paring the tombstone asked the bereav
ed mother what design
from
would have _
on it. Tears gushed from hereyes and
sobs half choks her as she answered:
'A - w
-w-watermelon
Smith, Jones and .the editor: Jones
rushed into the office of she Weekly
Squash vine the other day. There was
a wild look in his eye and a copy of the ,
Squashvine in his band. 'Did you put
that piece in here?' he demanded of the
editor, pointing with trembling finger
to
_a paragraph stating that salt scatter
ed about the yard would kill fowl.—
'That?' said the editor, inquiringly,
stopping in the midst of his editorial
'and layiisg down his - paste brush: 'yes,
that is mine—what of it? True, ain't
it?' 'Yes, and that is just what is the
matter,' said Jones, 'and you may atop
my paper right off—do you bear?' 014
yes,-certainly,' said the editar. 'John!'
he esped out, stop lorses' paper. Any
thing else, Hi. Jones?'. 'Yes, there is
something - else!' shrieked Jones, mad
dened alba editor's coolness. 'I would
like to know what you put such things
in your paper for. There is Smith who
lives next to me; he got your rascally
sheet Saturday night, and . Monday
morning, sir, his yard was full of dead
hens—my hens, sir! He had salted his
vegetable garden, • the villain—sand all
owing to that confounded piece of
yourn.'
Miss Nellie Reed is the name of a
young woman of . Georgia who recently
acconipained her uncle to Nag's Head.
North Carolina's delightful
,resort.
Last Wednesday aftzioon she accept
ed an invitation froni one O i lier adinir
els to go sailing on the sea, The day
was pleasant and the young folks enjor:,
ed themselves. starting just before sod.'
down to 'return to the shore. In - going
about the boom struck ,the young man
a terrific blow on the head and hurled
him into the water. Miss Reed =taut
ly seized a boSt-hook and by hanging
over the rail; exercising her utmost
strength. she was able to bring her corn:
panion's body board. Her efforts
to restore the young man to conscious
ness were not so suooessful, however,
and it moored to her that the best
thing to do was to sail with all speed
for the shore. She had never kindled
a boat, but she had watched saikis
closely, and in a few minutes the craft
was scudding along at lively speed.
Many persons would have been appall
ed at such a task, especially as it -grew
dark - and the wind freshened. A steady
run of three-quarters of an hour brought
the boat to its landing, and then the
plucky Georgia rails delivered her
wounded charge into the hands of his
friends. The young man has recovered
from the blow and the young woman is
the gawked of the Nag's Head oom-
PM% _
Why dost thou soar. my. love?' Map
Celia Thaxter in an exchange. Proba
bly it is *tame he has been trying to
mount the fiery, untamed bicycle. Ce-
Ii . it.will make any Man sore.
When a Wirierly man wantedhis pic
ture in a heroic attitude, the artist
painted Mal in the act of refusing to
drink.
NO. 14.