The Susquehanna register. (Montrose, Pa.) 1849-1854, January 30, 1851, Image 1

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VOLIME XXVI. I I,
THE REGISTER.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY' BY
Jame* W. Chapman. '
Ar'ranee psi -went in Cash per year In 50
If paid within the year, 2 00
If not at the,ead of the year, 2 50
(An Original tiltor7-:-very4
THE WILD GOOSE CHASE,
A TALE OF THE TEXIOAN REVOLUTION,
..-•••••• . 4
nICISZEP. B. PEACOCK, KIKI. ' ;
Prologue. -
Tyro editors in their sanctum sat,
Talking of this and thinking of that; '
The one called Dicky,the other named-Dick,
ind both liern r 4tarp es asinikden
SATs Dicky to Dick, our fame's at IoW ebb--;
We must do something to raise it 'klieg :
Ile true, replied Dick, but what shall it be,;
Viri:f a Lees Story, quick answered, Diokee:
So at it they went, helter-skelter. pell-mell,
And between them they managed to make rt!great
swell. •
They bottled a quart of nonsense in a jug,
Then boiled it down to a pint—all so snug—
',lliad with it a sigh, a kiss, and a hug,
Then took it in, doses, as fOr a disease,
And the tale, like a tape-worm, came out by de
grew I
Chapter 1.
Tall oaks from little acorns grow,
Large streams from little fountains flow."
I: 19 a strange world we live in. There •ale oc
currences on•every side of us too subtle for Hera
hos philosophy. In the vegetable kingdom, mush
-•oms grow up and mature of a single night; but
Sol, the great leveller of premature vegetation,
lentos upon their pulpy heads and long legs, and
they vanish. In the anirnal : kingdorn,'we have al
so our mushrooms -2babes of grace, who grow apace,
sad mature asquick as the tender dung-hill herb.
i s irst the baby, crawling liken crab opon.the floor;
then the Pedagogue, teaching the youthful mind
how to suck eggs • then the politician and brilliant
barrister, takidk princely airs, in thefull flush ISfa
wild-goose Chase for fame. Nature has her freaks,
her phenomena, her ruypterios.
Chapter IL
"And my name was Robert Kidd,
As I sailed, its I sailed."
•
Amulus Influenza was a Texi l
can of great re
nown. He raised the fattest pigs, drank the best
whiskey, and chewed the best tobacco of any Man
in the county. Twenty miles from the house of
Mr. Infitzeiliza, Icrackee! What a name to fill the
:r2rap of fame!) in a s straight hoe, as .a crow flies,
iced another rer,owmed Te=ican, who had a daugh
ter Clara. Mr. InEuenia had a great gossoon of a
on , whose name, like that of his daddy, was Am-
Chapter 111.
- Oh. poor Luc:. Neal, ob. poor Lucy Neal,
If i Lad you in my arnit how happy I should feel."
The goscoon .-tmolus had not mingled much in
tar: society of ladies; indeed, like Calaialo on the
1.:42ti. he bad never in his life seen any other NVO
ruo than his own dam, who stood six feet four in
, of , c...asirts, and vrjso, in a fair fight, was a match
for eleven Mexicans. What wonder, ...then, that
tee poor youth was petrified with love and aston
htment, when, being out one day, he spied the
b7ely Clara taking trout with a hook and line.-
2e clasped his hands and struck his forehead, like
Ned Forrest before the footlights, and approached
..11e coy nymph as stealthily as he would approach
a bear. The damsel twigged the youth " cornie
through the rye," and started full speed for home,
like the frightened deer. Thigossoon Amullis fol
lowed after as fast as his gerrymander legs would
carry him.
Chapter IV.
Laukee here, Lookee dare, Lookee way down
yonder,
Dont yon see de old gray goose smilin' at de inn
der ir •j -
A wild goose Chase ! a wildgurise Chase I and a
severe trial of speed it Was. But "lore has wings,"
sod of course assisted the pursuer, so that, with ,
his legs and wings, he made the'speed ot the Ost
nth, and soon overtook the &Sine Clara. He
Ru-ed her softly and tenderly, but the gal clonted
ta m in the face With her fish bag. "0 my darling
1 '"ILI:' exclaimed iii:po pryouth,, "if you willuot
gis ice any encouragement. at, this time, ',entreat
. .rau to accep t this (haqMg ding-her A Xerrie 4 Pire a
c::sit u, length,) as a remettlietance gift." .Clara:
:;; f.•riz;ifeble I;erlport wil/) agestto°, intik:
but no fooner had she grave:o,4mill' Aloe !she . -
turzed4a. The - wooer " Ilowints ALM 01. 1 1:goe.'
tar yourself away instantly. or. I'll split lotilikee ,
c shingle." Amulgs tore . the-greasy shirt from hie
bosom, sad :addressed her in the words of the to-
" Tberee your dagger, mid here's my 'naked kiwi.
di aas thou st.=---": • •
"Seize her r - eileiftile-hemit .I D 7 COP b* * 146 4 531:
in; her weapon seize. 'hq. if you
dare, Brit the" poor de4il
meant her no fiarm,'iiid
wanted s way ieisnrelg,~—
"D my lovely IV
;PO° W;,ga./..14°1
°f 11° 1 4, * key
if you will poi
beseetir thee t p '
rosy lips with e, '1404 1 ": ' -
Ah, who 4 With his d4tt_kiidikiiafe liro
,leis
o
to the - irOlf ifait
descends toll4-00—ka:q0,`"?"..4-:'
To w
Yeri.1.P11474, iuigl 444:.*0rg1*
*44904, /41460.*4410ivitit.
!nutk •- '
'l44'
. $5, •
"TEE WELL OF THE- EOPLE IS THE LEGIT LI . TE SOURCE, AND,THE HAPPMESS OFtTHE PEOPLE THE THirE END. OF GOVERNMENT."
What 1 Itell you the 'Mexicans tire coming!'
te I gave ber my knife," -replied the bumpkin,
"and I - offered her my heart
t Are yoti a fooli" , Continued the old - man, " I
tell you the Mmdeans abs,coming, and we'll have a
sebi li ituly with them; so get your pitchfc4., and heave
*teem, boy ri •
She accepted the'preeent with aimile," contin•
&auks. "and 0' there is bliss in the thougbt,
risyn name Was engraved upon the handle 1"
The bcii it mad," said the old man, musingly,
has-been bitten by the tarantula."
1 Epilogue. .
Ai editor if his sanctum sat,
gimbing Wit whiskers and brushing his hat;
Right over his table was a small looking glass,
Q$ chichi thoe Teemed painted the head of an ass.
Bi.t a close ;observation would explain to the view
Tlie face of the editor admiring his chg.
44 Mb he to himself, " My tale Is now done,
I ink it will stand about is Ns): 1.
' finished, tke story, and run is the race ;
d so, long live ' the wild goose Chase!'"
, i
t . d From Graham's Magazine.
; My Heart is With Thee.
SY GEO. D. PHENTICS.
a . When dewy eve closes
•
; Her flowers with a sigh,.
And sunsets bright roses -
• Grow pale in the:sky,
I When Bpirits seem stooping
O'er• Day in his grave,
Theirsolemn wingi• drooping
T:" Arai" cEer the wave,
When. the love star is keeping
Her Watch o'er the sea,
I,ly warm heart is leaping.
1 Sweet spirit; to thee.
'4 When the breeze 'with a whisper
Steals soft through the grove,
A sweet, earnest lisper
Of music and love,
• , When-its gentle camssings
Away charm each sigh, •
1 And the 'still dada's, like blessings
Descend from the -sky,
), When a deep spell is lying
1 . On bill vale and lea,
Diy warm heart is flying
Sweet spirit, to thee.
When stars, like sky-blossoms
Above seem to blow,
And waves, like young blossoms
Are swelling below, -
When the voice of the 'river
Floats mournfully - past,
/ And the forest's low shiver
Is borne on the blast,
When the wild tones are swelling
From earth, air and sea.
My warm heart is dwelling
Sweet spirit, with thee.
When the night-clouds are riding.
; Like ghosts, on the gide.
And the young moon is gliding "
k Sweet, lonely. and pale,
When the ocean is sobbing
In ceaseless, unrest,
And its great heart is throbbing
" All wild in its , breast,
When the strong wind is wrestling ,
t t With billow and tree,
II M y warm heart is nestling
Sweet !spirit, with thee.
- " When the r sonz birds are dreaming.
Of bliisoins and love, .
And the green leaves are gleaming
In moon-light above,
• 1 When silence leans_listening
• From Heaven's blue steep.
And the shot-star is glistening
Aboi.e the blue deep,
- Vihen lovti seems upspringing
Bri,,ht,honndless and free,
.8
I Mir warm heart is clinging
; weet spirit, to thee.
E
When in slumber thy fancies
' cr , Ii loveliness gleam.
•j Anil a thousand romances
i kre bright in thy dream,
. .
. Vtlien visions of brightness
Like young angels start'
In beautiful brightness
ill wild from thy heart,
t When thy calm sleep is giving
• Thy dream-wings to thee ,
• *say. art thon : hving,
• Svreet spirit,with rnel
t •
dll AtOld Joke in a New Dress.
Aii old lawyer in the f i lty . of New York 'tells a
Oolijeke about one of hi's clients. 'We have read
or hird 4nethtng like it before, but even i( we
have so'Owl a-story will bear a repetition. Here
litis ; ,i, -
1 ,A; f llo: had been arraigned before the police
1
I fin stielline a set of silver spoons. The stolen ar
,lt tsclestwere E rforrod upon the culprit , and there was '
1 Ms usis'in attempting to deny the charge. .. Lawyer
44 , --t• wailapplig4 to by the prisoner as counsel ;
ataclloseing4no escape for his client except on the
plea of kli y, be . Instructed the fellow to put teas
silly lOokas.possible, and when any question *as
put • turciltoutter' in a drawng manlwith an
,4 - 13- ensiles-ion -the word .4' ipoOns:" success
fil • fee.lWas to:be twentr i dollars. e-couri
' ' '' • ' ; lo businessi,the .charge; wasrread, and
tiiisOeitles.put JO 4he,prisoner--"Holity- or [RV
viz
l ions
oty l . -
-13 5 'ejliiiiiii i ited the culp . rit. - .
IMsec put-sere& 'quOstsoni to hitii . ,. but
" ' ' , s r was: all'• th el answer ' it wield
*ha' : 1 . -- —• ": - • ---
i i ` *now is ft foolr isaid,ithe judge i,"lot...him
k iii;t , business ."_ Ile "- " -- - , '- ,
; prisoner left die room, and helawyer ; _ o. -
10 atieltwe \id his itidii; , inerriitA lbl hod grit.
i t
in Ltho 44'14 admollor ItiNiethift cloWpa:the
% , ,lr Olt Yi_alk , "l4w. lay good tallow", tiOten
tt 4 Pit%r%• - - '," ' . 4
, - ..,,, ipoet.loo - _lheiiiiiryer AA in: tht-..fliq ,
li do
, pott on sigrOtelfiiio kind ~ 71111,i - e*prOß9l4,,, pod
*DI with one eyk l iscislaisnis&L".kpoOrter' um
ti: 11 - 1 ,01AAR-rgY1 8 00.-WhO.WIti blifijaillt`
11 10 3 9r * * * : lokrth l t / 91 . 1 k 0 fi l bUiii , ". l, fp)kii,
I ira*orfiericskiceTtrtui L diii - ..
= 1
f - I lia; z4iiiii'47.leirel:4 '1 '' ''''`i iiii*,
f . . , aid iitookiiietl*: - , , , ' , ittr afe w s
Ltrl-...' -1 ' '-' lor*Leuhr. _tett, iwir' ndialivrof.
...k..:2 - '4,Y4ts!-.., ~ - ,10. 1 r , "7tite,,lttio*,
, 1,4 , ' , ; it 24 9= ,•- % ,„ , . - , rt..l: ,
rii T 4o ,4 =:r ' ''e 4 . , r',OtAlt s ..!iy , -, r.A
!: ' • ''`
IGIONTItOSE, 1 6 tNN'A:, THURSDAY,JANUARY 36, 1861.
THE RI. :WAY MATCH.
• on.
110 7 THE SCHOOL MASTER MARRIED A
FORTUNE.
HY' MAJ. J. JONES, OF p2IES'ILLE
It's about tea years ago,pence the inciden what
I'm gwine to tell tuck place. It. caused a great
sensation in Pineville at the time, and the effect to
make fellers monstrous ~ c•arefill bow they runaway
with other people's daughters ever sence.
Mr. Ebenezer Doolittle was the aborninablest
man after rich gals Over was. He hadn't been
keepin school more'n six months, before he had
bound out every gal in the settlement whose father
bad twenty niggers, and he had courted all of 'em
within a day's ride. He was rather old to be pop
ular with the gals, and somehow theydidn't ike
his ways, anti the way they bluffed him off was
enougli—to--discourage-iany •body hit
schoolmaster what wanted to get married and had
n't many years of grace left. But it didn't seem
to make no sort of difference to him. He was
bound to have a rich wife out of 'em, and if he fail
ed in one case it only made him more persevering
in thnjnext. His motto was, "never say die!"
Betty Darling, as they used to call old Mr.
Darling's daughter, what used to live on the Runs
—was about the torn downest gal in all Georgia.
Betty was rich and handmome and smart, and had
more Admirers than she could shake a stick at; but
she was such a tonnentatia' littie coquet that the
boys was afraid to court ber in doti•nright earnest.
When Mr, Doolittle found her out he *ern rite
at her like a hous-afire. She-was just the gal for
him and he was determined tp have her at the risk
of his life.
Well, be laid siege to old Darling's house day
and night, and when he couldn't leave his school to
go and see her, he nt letters to her that was enuf
to throw any other gal but Betty Darling into a fit
of hysterick.s to read 'ern. Jest as every body ex
pected, after encouraging him jest enuf to make
the feller belAve he had the thing did, she lucked
him flat. But slum. be was perfectly used to that
he was too much of a filosopher to be discouraged
by sich a rebuff, when the game was worth pur
He didn't lose a niiuit's time, but just brushed
up and went rite at Her agin. Every body was
perfectly surprized to see him gwine back to old
Darling's, after. the way he had been treated by
Betty; but they was a great deal more surprised
and the boys was .terribly alarmed' in about a
month, at the headway he seemed to be makin' in
his snit. All at once, 31Iss Betty's . conduct seemed
to change towards him. and though her father and
mother was terribly opposed to the match, atty
body could see that she was hegira:Cu:lg to like the
schoolmaster very well.
Things went on this way for awhile, till bimeby
old Darling got so uneasy about it that he told Mr.
Doolittle one day, that he musn't 'comb to his
house no more, and if he ketched him s:endin any
more love letters and kiss-verses to his darter by
his nigger gals, he'd make one of his boys give
him an aifired coshidcn.
But 3h-. Doolittle didn't care for that neither.
He could see Miss Betty when she came a shop
pin' in stores in the town, and there was more 'n
ono way to get a letter to her.,What did he rare
that old darling His daterr was head' and
heart in love with him, and was jest the-gal to sun
away with him too, if she was opposed by her pa
rents. And as for the,property, he was certain of
that when once be married the gal, -
One Sdturday, when there was no school, Mr.
Doolittle went to old Squire Rogers, and told him
he must be'ready to 'marry a couple that night, at
exactly ten o'clock.
'mum; ses he, 'you musn't say a word to n..,body
Squire. The license is all ready, and the party
wants to be very private'
Squire-Rogers was one of the most accommoda
tin fellers: in the world on' such':' occasions. Mrs.
Rogers was a cranky, cross old lady. And nothin'
done the squire so much good_ as to marry others,
it didn't make no odds who they was. Besides,
Mr. Doolittle was an injured man and a great
scholiar in his opinion, and belonged to His clnirch.
Mr. Doolittle. arranged the whole business in
first rate order. Miss Betty was to meet him at
the end of her fathers lane, disguised in a ridin'
dress borrowed for- the occasion, when he was to
take her in a close One horse baroliche and 'fly
with her, on the wings of love,' as he said he would
to the squire's office, where they was to be united
in the bands of wedlock,, before anybody in the
village kneed anything about it. He had made ar
rangements at the Hotel for a room, which he
seed fixed for the auspicious occasion, and he writ
a letter to a friend of his down in Augusta to be
thor the next week to take charge of his school as
he thought it might be necessary for him to keep
out of old Darling's way for a few weep till the
old feller could have time to come to. All day
Mr. Doolittle was hustling about as if he wasnt
certain which end he stood on, while the sunshine
of his beak beamed from his taller colored face in
a way Ice let every body know something extraor
dinary was gwine to happen.
Just after dark he mought have been seen dri
ving out by himself in a barouche towards old .
Darling's. Every body 'spected something, and
all hands was on the lookout It was plain to see
Squire Rogers' importance was swelled considera
ble with sofriething,' but_nobody could get a word
out of him.
Mr. Doolittle didn't spare the lash after he got
out - of town, and with straining eyes.and palpita- ,
ting heart, he soon reached the place appointed to
nfeet the.object of his consumin' affections.
Was e,he titan No! Yes! It is! Yes, thar sheis!
the dear creator! The skirts of her nankeen ri
din' dress, what sets close to her angelic forit,'flot , .
terie "in thebreeze. She . stands timidly crouchii;
in the fence, holdilg her veil close to her face,
tremblin' is every jint for fear'she, mought be dis
covered and tore- away from the- arms of her be
loved beneeer!
• : liesiest angel!' says he in a low voice.
Oh, thenezeil" and sh tied o' fell into his
•
'Comma yourself', my . • •
'Oh, if father
.
`Don't fear dear creature "hly,arm.ohall protect 1
yon-litgin- the . . iiroi.De And he ;was just g wine .tn
pall her veil to: her • •
`013,' says she,-`didift X hear - somebody Comin'ir
„says mitod;-..let'a • wit in, ray
dear: • •
• A:ndthat helps tt her, toto.the haxOucha,.l
and cosifentidliiiiiself With IMprintinki a burni4,l
lout that ilmo t.ingi d the kid glake4 hei•dear
litile4malluirbe closed /the tdoory • - jMhphe•:!..
eu ht front idt,: - ,ex*f)Prili.V.her•all:thOirgy,.latatj
I s AW to her-losi he would love her
j audtroaloCl
Iker.l4o, and Unite he.r 4 1 ! tx
hici skid' think, jilet Qs twieft
4
,Rot r silo iniitsmilAymitategh gg abccould'
itetikopottliff '-but 40icryr, which flood, Kr. -
/*1 1 414 "LP* i mice. '` .
i b 4 top:( 4 / 1 4e. — an** hitch isettA ifilkoey`pilt
,
. 7 thipistailidNigmovseilitigfiEtWAVlOtey*
.$104 10 4 akfuli• seekithor ezeitivos*
jar !etittja. of ths feller.
was bailout of their sens.es and it was tiecessary
to hurry the - cerimonv ovfr as quick as possible,
for fear of the row that werkevidently bruin'.
'Be quick, Squire,' sea Doolittle, handio out the
license, end shakin like he had'the ager, 'far this
Darling is very much Agitated.'
The Squire hardly waited to wipe his.spectii:.
les, and didn't take tune to , enjoy himself in read
in' the ceremony slow, and putting in the ditnisimi
quavers in his voice like he alway . e'did: Tha noise
was-gettin louder out of doors and somebody was
knocking to get in.
'Oh,' sea Betty, leaning on Mr. Doolittle for sup
port.
Oo os,' sea Doolittle, pressin b i er to his side,
his eyes on the Squire, and hie face as white as a
sheet.
'Open the door, Rogers,' see a hoarse voice out.
side.
Silt the Squire didn't hear nothin' till he pro
nktuleed the lastiwords of the ceremony,
Elhotbetb IXttlitlyte7tltiro`
nouneetl man and wife.
Jest then the door opened. In rushed old Dar
ling, and Bill and Sam Darling, followed by a
whole lot of fellers.
The bride screamed and (ell into the arms of the
triumphant. Doolittle.
Take hold of her,' see nld Darling, flourishing
his cane over his head. Take hold of the huzzy.'
'Stand off l' see Doolittle, throwing himself in
a real stage attitude; nod, supporting his faiiiting
bride on one arm. 'Stand off, old maul She is my
lawful wife, and I claim the protection of the law.:
'Knock him down! take hold of Min,' says half a
dozen; and Bill Barling grabbed the bridegroom by
the neck, while Squire Rogers, jumped up on the
table and hollered out:
'I command the peace! I command the peace in
the name of the State of Georgiar
'She's my wife—my la'wful wtfef shouted Doo
little. 'I call upon the law!'
Jest then the bride got over her faintin' fit and
raised her droopin' head; the veil t'lJ off, and=oh,
cruel fate! Mr. Doolittle stood . petrified with hor
ror, holding in his arms not
_Miss Betty, but Miss
Betty's traitin* maid, one of the blackest Diggers in
Georgia, who at this interesting crisis, rolled her
eyes upon him like two peeled onions, and throw
in' her arms around his neck exclnimcd:
'Dis is my dear husband What Miss Betty gin
me het own Qelf I'
Stch a shout as did fuller!
'Go to the Devil, you black
tryin to pull away from her
'Stick to him Silly,' says the boys,"he's
. pours
accordin' to law.'
Old Squire Rogers looked, like he. had married
his last couple, poor old man, and hadn't a word to
sac for himself. The boys and young Darlings
liked to laugh thenlVelves to death, while old Dar
ling, who was mad as a hornet, was gwine to have
Doolittle arrested for nigger stealiti right off.
Poor Doolittle? He made out nt last to git
loose from his wife, and to find the bact,.._dmir. He
haint never been heard of ie Pineville 'from that
day to this.
.
An Eloquent Appeal.
One Paul Denton, a Methodist Preacher in Tex-
as, advertised a barbecue, with better liquor than
usually furnished. When the people assembled, a
dellarado ittthe-crowticrieiftmt---
- Mr. Paul Denton. your reverence has lied. You
promised us not only a good barbecue, but - better
liquor. Where is the liquor r'
"There !" answered the inis-zionary, in tones of
thunder, and pointing his motionless finger at the
matchless double spring gushing up in two strong
columas, with a sound like a shout of joy, from the
earth. "There rhe repeated, with a look terrible
as the lightning, while his enemy actually trembled
on his feet, '' is the liquor which God, the eternal,
brews for-all his children'. ,Not in the simmering
still. over smokeY fires, choked with poisonous gas
es, and surrounded with the stench, of sickening
odors and rank - curruption, does our Father in • ea
yen prepare the precious essence of lire, the p re
cold water. But in the green glade and g sy
dell, white the red deer wanders, and the e Rd
1
loves to play, there God brews it ; and down, •
down, in the deepest valleys, where the fountain
murmurs and the rill sings ; and high up the moun
tain top, where Jim naked granite glitters - like gold
in the sun—where the storm cloud broods and the
thunder storms crash ; and away fur ont on the
wild, wild sea, where the hurricane howls music,`
and the big waves roar the. chorus, sweeping the
march of God—there he brews it, that beverage of
life, health-giving water. And everyhere it is t
thing of beauty—gleaming in the dew-drops; sing
-1 in.' in the summer rain; shining in the ice gem, till
the trees all seem turned to thing jewels, spread
-mg a golden veil over the, setting, sun, or a white
gauze around the midnight moon ; sporting in the
cataract ; sleeping in the glacier; 'dancing in the
bail-shower; folding its bright snow-eirrtains'softly
about the wintry world ; and weaving the .ntany
colored iris, that seraph's zone of the sky, whose
woof is the sun-beam of. heaven. all checked over
, with celestial dowers, by the mystic hand of re
fraction. Stilt always- it is beautiful, that blessed
life-water ! No poison bubbles on its brink ; its
foam brings not madness . and murder; no blood
stains its liquid glass; palewid - ou's and starving
orphans weep not burning - tears in its depths ; no
drunkard's shrieking .ghost from the grave curses
it in words of eternal despair. Speak out, my
friends—would you exchange it for the` demon
drink, alcohol V- 3 -
A shoot Like the roar of 'atempest anavrered
"No r
Possibly our sage westem'judges suffer unjust
reproach at times, writessonelwho'knrws, from the
conduct of some among-them"; but, having lived in
their midst. I can bear witness to the truth of the
following circumstances; A formes...residing in.
this region, had remarked during the sittings of the
Circuit Court, a part of his cornfield loAsi beiled
clown in f regular trackOf tarot- twelve paces in
length, as if by the ranging of some animal to and
'fro. Anxious to detect the cause, he, ensconced
himself one day among the thick leaves, and ob- r ,
served about the hour of adjnhinment, one of , Ole
_judges cautiously appriisching the spot. Arrived
at the path, he commenced- pacing: it - gravely op
and 'down, _with knit brow.. , and, air of cogitatilM,
rod at ength," draiing a finial' chip frcim,his pock—
vat on and side of it, aianced,it - an in tent
on his ringer, ,tlip'p'ed it lin m
ita,descent intently. wad/gaucho'. it fell: "Wit for
difenchuit--rtfrll, for plaintiff r.".tben.stoopinc, down;
addet "Pliintifflute it t" Tho,farmer, avoido all
M T :Stied from thitemiiirientl#KrikkerbOai
you - 41mi gad a' femalci, apoti` tirntr itetTP 4 l
pod et a countiy:tavern. Melt, swkwarit appoikr , ;.
" cc "citedlhe attention of one of the members of
ibk irbo eicattepiea,ck, couyersidion„ Lyrit)l
thelenistle, 'Ate had tj ' raped
Air'itnArek;
some}! 11i
sigoikes,tPt#4-197
kC,'‘ in - 011 ui
binip`obio
tanood:in' -0* edloolirsier inest toithije
ir# floik
iMi
~ . • ..
tans Stries.—A plebs soldier, in economical'
.
sailor, a rich author, an impartial critic, an incrithsi r
__..
lable widow, a happy ; ,,old bachelor, an uncenson-ri
ous old maid. a moderate reformer, an under win=.
pine projector, a Oace:thaking lawyer; a clergy= :
man who practices ill he preaehei, a physician'lvho
does not kill more patients than: ho cures, a smoker s t
who is not just on the.brink of leaving inTip -wall- !
ed boarder, a cheerful tailor, a lean butcher, a .si.
I nt barber, and a successful gold digger. i
UNPOPULAR PERSONAGES.—A fat man, in an om-1
nihus. a tall man in a crowd, and a short Man" on I
parade.
Two PEOPLE.—A lover about to pop the ques- i
tion, a man who doei not like to be shot at, and a-I
steamboat company with a cholera case on board. i
DIGNIFIED MEN.—A .cit. in a4country town, ai
midshipman on quarter deck, and a school commit- 1
tee on examination day.
- ...S.v.sar-Poiats.,..ate4lent....th* - -driver-tlia-fast- 1
horse, my youngest boy, and the fellow, that-took ,
.the prize for the coonundrum. -
KNowxxo Curt—Those country merchants that
bid 'oft those cheap gold watches. Those chaps
that give those gilt books and jewelry to the girls;
and those far-seeing felloWs that give us the latest
news from Washingtou. -
&cm FOLKS.—The man who cannot see am
fun in yam' jokes. The editor who respectfiilly de
clines communications, . and the old folks that will
not leave you alone with your ladylove:
.SoattowFot.ll.sx.—The'doctore in time of great
sickness. The man who is not able to lend your
. any money, and the friend that regrets that you .
cannot stay any lon g er.
GeAvu l'Eortz.An undertaker at a funeral.—
A deacon on Sunday, and the titan who thinks the
Yankee Blade too trifling. .
GOOD rsons...--The man whose religions opin
ion is the same, as yours. The man who never
laughs. The young lady who has a horror of nov
els. The lad -whirl:lever entered a theatre; and the
chap who does not know the meaning of trumps.. ) -
Mao Fots.s.—The man who makes you presents
you donut want. The friend who gives you so
much good advice. The lady who Insists that yOu
have not made out a good dinner: The old gen...
denim who is siarving•hinaself to lay up money
for you. The shopkeeper who abates the price of
an article because it is you, and the dear mother
kvhd lets the dear children do as they *sae. •
asset PeopLe.-=--A child with a-rattle, a small
one drumming on a tin pan. A school boy do a
holiday-. ;Two lovers walking by moonlight. A
gent imbibing a cherry cobler, A boy sucking
new cider through a straw, and two country misses ••
over an ice-cream.
,' se! Doolittle
Furs FELLows.—The man ivho advertises in your
paper. The man, who never refused to .lend you
money, and the fellow who is courting your sis
ter.
INDEPENDENT MEN.—A wood sawyer, a philoso
pher with no post at his back, a turn coat.
Gesrma. PEorte.-e-The young lady whO lets her
mother do• the ironing for fear of spreading her
hands. The miss who wears thin shoes on a rainy
day. and the young gentleman. who is ashamed io 11
be seen walking with his father.
Ixnustetous PEOFLE.—The young ladrwho reads
romances in bed. The friend who is always enga
ged when. you call, and the correspondent who can
not find time to answer your letters.
Itsurcur Fr.mows.—The chap who found a guar=
ter which was a pistareen. The man who left his
pocket book at home. All fellows in my business.
Peasectrim Psome..---Woman by the tyrant
man. toys by their parents, and teachers and all
poor people by society at large.
UNITAPPY PEOPLE.—AII old bachelors, old maids
and married people.
Anarrtous Onars.—The writer who pays tho
magazines for publishing his communications. The
politician who qtkits-lispaity becauSe lie canhof
get au office. The boy who expects to be Presi
dent.
HUMBLE Peasoss..,-The husband who goes his
Wife's churning. The wife -who blacks. her hus
bands boots, and the man who thinks you do him
much honor.
MODEST Mr.s.—The man that blows his oleo
trumpet. 'The editor of the best newspaper in
the United States," and the new contributor who
expects cash for his first attempt.
I MEAN Nortx.—The man who kicks people when
they are down. The subscriber who neglects to
pay for hid papers. and daddy when ha refuses - to
let you have money. -
SENSIBLE PEOPLE.---YOU and Yankee Blade.
13arviry.-1e find in a California diary the fol-,
lowing glorification of a quality we slioulcl
"A man of few Words" is well; but a'' woman of
few words" is a matter open to argument :
." I encountered today, in a ravine, some three' i
miles distant, among the gold washers, a womin,
from San Jose. She was at work with a large
wooden bowl by the side of the stream. I asked
her how,iong she had been there, and , how much
gold ihe , averaged a - day. . She replied , 'Thr?q
weeks aiiitatt ounce! Her reply reminded me . Of
an anecdOte of the -late Judge B, who met a girf
returning from market, and asked her, How deep ;
did 'you find, the streamt What did' von Amt.:frit
your butter r 'Up io the knee and - ninericeA
was the reply. 'Alt !' said the Judge
is the girl for me; no words lest 9ii - nlOgiir'
turned back, proposect - wati abeeptcd.."-.111
the next week, and a more happytlnti - C;sb,
jugal bond never united: . the:olloga' amp never'
waned; its rav was Steady clear to theiast.—=,
Ye who paddle offend on tOr.seven years, and:are .
at last capsized; take - a lesioWof theJii4g,e. That
up to the knee and ' is worth all. the
rose letters and melancholy rhymes ever penned.'
Not long since. writes an old friend" and Cortes?
pi:lapel*, as. I ,was returning. from, Buffalo; . 1 was
amused, while the caes made,amomentary, stppiat
a denionitration nuttle!:by"* crazy riput r on'hisway.
to the State Lunatic Asvltiti'at'llthnt:! Was
standieg on the track s in - front„ of theiron lane."
" Yott•thinlCyon:are something!' iie said, 1441tilig
. at- thejocomotlie..and-aiwumieg aboXing ,
attitude ; o'heret I out whip , youl.' , Tee ,
flogged the:fiery bulls of Bashi*. and WA/cottheir'
horns off I iSay don't roki stand . there;,whletling.:
and smoking, b lackguard in a hat7m*al jeat
jtiMri to me andllt hikethe : conceit oat : ,of rh
you.darn'ff old- ciokinglitteve sos While
erboeker. • ut •
.7 . : : •,. - :t-,!.:4 . .. igi i .,4: 7 l 4i-;;_
- - it•Covirenta. _
. 7tbAntrEkator" - smt,weith fattitl4l4
dtallisi.o-xlituf:..Lattertnitici.44l4',l4l4,:ift
iolleot .. ,,beeratr : exab. _, 44t.s k 7, .... : .
..,'-' 1, - that Daguerreoty pes,_.. - thir , •l o 4 - l iiel ii lak
im:dthe pal : * meet. art,,....1.wu-",.d....?;. nkinWtii**4
m.04704)44 ')ool.l.o4kmf.atrt '4!''''`-''' iblitOutio-,
tom"' al jai: 1; 444000 z islt 1 . 01,,e- P lace •--lf' - '. ' - • — aisl
' l i- ,itelideto :iistt '4* . - OV f , -_- ►
6064140 • 1 11 ' r
~ E itrolo'..Jitit ;1 1 r,ou, .4
neit:i l ithi e v i n C l44 , l : L. ,tter,_' - • 'ere j,ick - ' I
like! to tditiititlriN w it h "11414: - tfio '
chance 1.4101_ ladiii.tilkilek ' stigt*. ..,,
1"1",..iii.i.V---!: '04711L,..__„„;- *--rk
ii;r4744,10.4''W1-4T7-777 :;*,.,X7',-__-ir'',..:i
wa r
1iexhii_,44.1...,..40.f..0,.wv,i1,:i,i,,...7,
Characters Classified.
EINIMIE
~~a
. . ,
1•1•; , t 6.,“-F.:,,,,._.-- ~-,.- -- - .. ,‘4•, , ' - k;-..: - .: = : , -- •
---f-L;-_.±;%-- :j.::_'--,-'.._....'-:"--f.':;Y-Q7-='.
4
t , boxy-011,0C POP: ,
4)stpi r of:thii",kigiclilege told 4ei-sr!l.
A
which we thirds trio. g tt he lost, amp, their
rirtive
In the liyestarn`rtirm oficiew'l r teirstlieithit.
Um -crated emseitledhle- - *.•
ci enseot, - .Aiunn the
;i4-# iiin4le Man of middle
rrtAvellonerief;a and reVerence
_Mu. was, of course, superitiriousfyqieligipoi,
the knockings, bf which he had take! eager
Si4il to be witness, impresse4,op344'. 7411e14tiiii;)
aWe. •
1111
The mans , wife was' a very. aiffirerit 'At 0 s-
She scoutedllie "spirits!? latieind
huieblind, And took every Ocessienlarellyridini r
j ',what the dtemed his special weskness.
' One ‘Mbrning, after the old.. elan 114 been out to •
heir the knonkings.thAiemembTaace of Which 10.1 -
stolen away - a n rie - striae citriy; - , Ari -
..ilishiout,.to _mike -a-fire'.;:,-Thi - Larriiir.liisa;;shwitLS - 14,,.
art determined, on having - 'eorne
lieVoelf ,on ,ber elbow, she. regar,did '...her'hustette:
not more than half tiriesed, certrOdy,4o . .:he *keel. ,
Tadi nt the stove, and'axstivnin4ly - linked -t iuziotrg •
Ashhs: • - ,
ha. ' Wife appliealker nineties to the head4Aitit.4 •
of , e rap : rap l .
he 'victim ttafted, 11-itli his listir oti.erit&Alfri
peeped nnvously over thp staTe.
Rap-rap-rap!
Me tiegan to tromblikand anziously,fsitei*Ont.
tins a Spiriti"
ii..*raFerrip
Does the spirit wisli:to coMmenicnte
itnp : re:rnp 1 - I
art thon,on errand of triert*- - to tee r
Spirit, whnt wilt thou have me to der -
r, Make that fire, - voil infernal 'old fent Teel'',
,slibuted his. wife, with e :-mingind mirtir,#ter3ridi -
disgust, as the „irembling_husband luined:wrinied
nni saw the saucy creature regarding hen calash: - <.
!;, - 7i i iti) eyes 'shit . entirely overshadowed fear of ; _
'Spirits. lie Wm: , reim.—Sprinifre/dR liters: •f;
,
i i t9.'ntt." a -poirespondent. of the l3cet - on. Paid, I
w ote the following, whickas it contains a ww,lyso , '
w id, should not he read by apybodyi.
,-:- ':„,.:. d...
' ' .oounty court was sitting a while sigolw l ,,
'on' the banks of the .Connectient:' It:Was.isoVlar.l-;
,fro,in.this time of: year—cold WeithK:anYlulie— [.
and, a.. knot of • LaWyers.-had. Atollected , .)Stoinicl the ,i'
old Franklin in the ,bar.room. The flrehliaeg; tiottt
1 Mks of flip were passing ltivac.v.-,itheni,a.groati,d
wheri.in came a rotqk gaunt looking "bahe of go.
~..woDas," knapsack on shoulder and Staff iif hatil : =.;-.4,
:Efe looked cold and, half perambulated the cirelti r.
th'rit hemmed in the lire, as with a wall of brass
lohkinm for 'a chance to warm his shins, Nobedn
Nobody
inbred, however; and, unable to sit downi6eiranf I.'
,of st chair, he did the nest best thifig.r4earied
)'against the wail and listened to a legal discutiiiinl".
that was going on, as if ho was the to . deCide 4 , -
the °tatter. Soon he attracted the attention Cif `i
1 the company. and a young sprig spoke io hitn. 7 -1 , •
4' You look like a tarveller." ' '
1 l' Wall,-I 'spoke I am-1 come frxma - Wisconifist,
afoot at any rate." . . • . .' ..':...,-. ;
''From Wisconsin! that is a 'clistatfez to goon 1-
i .onelpair Of legs. I say, did yOu.eYer pass through 1 ,
ih-+ll on yom travels?" -z , .. -.
i -4 .•Yiss sir;"' he tinswereda kidaw - iiidefini*T-:
1 , etealitiz over his ugly phismahogany,-"l4iilii
[thi j ough : the outskirts.", ..•
i , Welt what are the manners and custoinitheret 4 ,
k;otie ot us would like to know.". . - -, 1,,,
r Oh." says the oil - deliberately —halfaliot- t
-7
.g. his eyes. rind dra ''ng around the .coniere of k
hi i mouth till two ro s 'of y,ellow.stabal.witit a 4
.huiss of masticated pigtail appeared thio*tliO
Flif in his cheek; " you'lt , flud them Much:the akin F.
as Lin this sem o iotic the lcuityets sit niclOst thefts's/7 '' r
N
i 1 4. Goon §XORY.-.--Epeit Sargearit r .of the' .Bo st i
tninscript, , tella a good; many : 4;1)W sfortps'lttidit: ?,
OtO head of "Dealings !with the Deid:!" "Otte - 'ot, i.
ihriite number* he devotes to TOrtunelitinthig.ririd I
initygst other illtittratioint giies the tutee of ifift. f
. i
Utitts..
1 • e was , courting a Tering lady of sotpe.
(hits arid sterriething of le fortribe tate the ha - *in.
Alier's liberal amingemeut h...i'd beinittaderfhtilii
yoitrig lady by her father, Mr. !dewing,' liavirig : *
heti, 8 particular fancy to a• little • brown 'Wate r ' de=-
minded that it should be thrown_ into the - U*l6'4'
anitupott a positive refierid. the tuatchwari bridtat;,
off f After a -couple of years, -the parties accithsv,
i i tt*" ;net, at a' countr!fr ball-:• . -Mr.'Idewinri wart,
.guile willing to the engagement-L , the kat:
I 1
peated not to have - the slighteet recollectiriirk. ,
int. . , - ~ .i '-.?1 - -1!. , :
, I,Sttrely ;. you have not forgotten ne,!.faid •
be:., , ,,, , .
i.l'iVhat name ctrl" She 'endutivid. • ?„--..- „:: . ..,7 t
1 , 4f,ldeWinA ,* he - replied: 0 . 1 bad the' horiiieflittr
ioli,:rity Addresses to , yea about twit Yeati rigri. •-- --
A 1 remembif 11-PerseWof,thatmune:sherrikai;
who paid his addreises ttt m y fatherit,browa
tiaii: 4 . ''
'
it'imlttairirr.- , 4 few d
-, 1 ,-----,-- - !VII! Vi IouLLAT:er
eloped from Loniiville !hi order tov-*get nt( ' ' ......
i?' L 6 q f k .PAseaie on
a itearner bdnd-np7thell7
unc ,„ Eentnesteener scriyed at onpinpati; 40 4 f I.
-
S./datittal tint onhfd,fonnd
,out
„the
,toots 4.: -
',• , Aftitnitn.; and announced tether thittleled received!
iftelegraphic despatch from. ber-father; . ; vviteltiiiil
litiesed to the match:rettelLLPS**L 6ll M l 4* . i . .
'under:Abe,. law Congress fot!!:the4eclifinit#6 ±of,-
fuiaivee,,hnen -7stervicenrilaboePslarbeing4if*:
f e
ltetf r ,_9-I.lge. Th-retfilangertt intgtere4,,ikf,t44C,i,
'et — 3:ionplejepresentinetn the Atrsind thfif-hei
; had 4kriight to ' take'? the tirl' - ividititit*,',liiitiAe'
fro' sthe, , Commissioner-4*nd '-finally VOA..'ilfieili?..:
enniientett to depart.' and leave ;,theAxelphi:tetet...,
•
. •T Em torrt;--An itiot'iiiiibiit'itikidiatruil„
s i.. ; ',' 1
blZl,n'tcled ( 44 many - be . Jukt - kw* kigtlh. , , I .
w, ir_..bit„ en) blr,P*Mtml- (tilthilr'-wp- And 31 0 Wit; r ,
ekiurgi (mon °At ierM9 l = ''-' • ~,b. st op . ,, 2'C.'.Pe' -,1
tis litieneeiVeint e*ii,ioo=l; ". ; %l,
Orotiortiointi :ftelikin*d4'l' '''
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"00'ioN me.bid,Dre-seet the iel)rf
th a c s . enougie -=-, f - 4 - - ' . '.= ; ---..-- •
~ A I_4IUPW.-Etunwtti: around ind 3 '!# t:aa . a . lit il r Y!,
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i metZ
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"1 40 ' I 111110 efilfigilltit It figiiiio -
rescherii t or en _ , ,
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hi . ,t:ise4gegiii bNvitleMit_iLLlV:irargfto:as,
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NUMBER - 5'