Tattuorous.
VIE EARLY BIRD CATMBS Ti3B WORK
poor foolish worm ! if he had lain
Snug in his earthly bed,'
That early fowl had never Made'
A. breakfast of his head.
At noon, no donbt, the bird had' sought
Some distant forest bough
And if the worm had slept till then,
lie might have lived till now.
Take warning, early tigers, all, T
And heed the lesson taught ;
The worm that lies in bed is safe
The early work is caughp. •
NE'V ENGLAND WEATHER
/t.t . the New Enghtnd; l society's,regehtlinnual.
dinner at New York . ,- Mr. Bantuel - 1k 'Clemens
(Mark Twain) spoke in response to the follow
ing toast; -., •
..
"The Oldest Inhabitant The Weather"— I
Who bath lostand doth , forget
Who bath it still and doth.regret it ?
Interpose betwixt nei,Twatir.. ••,' •!.
• l • • -Ifei•Maizt of
I reverently believe that theMuker who made
us all makes everything in New England but
the weather.. I don't know ,who makes that,
but I think it must be raw apprentices in the
Weather Clerk's factory, who experiment and
learn how in New England, for, board and
clothes:and then are promoted to make weath
er for countries that require a good article and
will take their custom elsewhere if they don't
get it. There is a sumptuous variety about the
New England'weather that compels the stran
ger's admiration—and regret. The weather is
always doing something there ; always attend
ing strictly to business ; always getting up
new designs and trying them on the people to
see how they will go. But it goes through
more business in spring than in any other sea-
:ln the ;spring I have counted 136 different
kinds of weather inside pt•four apd twenty
bours. It was I that made the fame and for
tune of that man that had -that marvelous col
',ion of weather on exhibit* at the Centen
o that so astonished the for',Ogner& He was
lug to travel all over the world and get spec
ula from all the climes. I said "Don't
do it ; you conic to .1!1 . .w England on a fa
.able spring• day." I „told him, what we
Ad do, in the way of style,variety and quan
ty. Well, he came, and he made his collection
four days. As to 'variety—why, he confess
that he got hundreds of kinds of weather
Ahe bad never heard of 'before. And as to
atter he had picked out and
;arded all that was blemished in any way,
not only had weather enough, but weather
spare ; weather to hire out; weather to sell;
deposit; weather to invest ; weather to give
the poor. The people "in New England are
tient and forbearing ; but there are some
Igs which they will not atand. Every year
kill a lot of poets for writing about"Beani-
Spring." These are generally casual vial
, who bring their notions of spring from
where else, and' cannot, of course, know
the natives feel shout spring.. And so,
first they know, the opportunity to inquire
, they feel has permanently gone by. .
Old Probabilities has a mighty reputuation
&Curate prophecy, and thoroughly well de
on take up the :pap* and observe how
ply and confidently he checks off what to
's weather is. going to be on the Pacific,
7n South, in the Middle States, in the: Wil
lie legion, see him sail along in the joy
pride of his power till he gets to New Eng
!, and tkien see his tail drop. -He doesn't
'w what the weather Is going to be in New
;land. He can't any more tell than hacan
how many Presidents of the United States
:e's going to be next year. Well, he mulls
it, and by by he gets out something
this : Probable nor'-east to son'-west
1, varying to the southward, and west
and eastward, and points between ; , high
low barometer, sweeping around from
ice to place ; probable areas of rain, snow,
it and drought, succeeded or preceedd by
, hquakes, with thunder and lightning.—
% he jots down this polthicript from : his
lering mind to cover accidents : "Brit it
,ssible that the programme may be wholly
iged in meantime."
cs, one of the brightest- germ in the'New
;land wealher is the dazzling uncertainty of
There is only one thing certain about it :
are certain there is going to be plenty of
Aber ; a perfect grand review ; but you can
tell which end of the procession, is going
move first. You fix uPF for the drought
leave your umbrella in ; the house and sally
with your sprinkling pot, and • ten to one
get drowned. You make up your mind
the earthquake is due; you stand - from
tr and take hold of something to steady
, and, the first thing you know : - You get,
kby lightning. These are great disap
tments.- • But they can't - be helped. The
fling there is peculiar ; • it is so convincing
it strikes a thing that it doesn't leave
ugh of that thing behind fOr you 'to 'tell
:ther—Well, you'd think it was something
;able, and a Congressman had been there.
id the thunder. When the thunder corn
ices to merely' tune up, and scrape, and saw,
key up the instruments for the perform
!s, strangers say : "Why, what awful thun
you have here I" But when the , oaton
ied and the real concert begins, you'll find
stranger down in the cellar, with his head
he ssh-harrel.
)w as to the size of the weather in New
la nd — leegthwise, I mean, It is utterly
"oportioned to the size of that little coon.
half the time, when it is packed as full
can stick, you will see that New England
her sticking out beyond the edges and pro
around hundreds and hundreds of miles
the neighboring States. She can't hold a
part of her weather. You can see cracks
about, where l she had strained herself trying
to do it-
I could- speak volumes about the inhuman
perversity of the New England wbather,.but I .
will give but a single specimen.. Llike to bear
rain on a tin roof,. so I covered part of my roof
with tin, with. an eye to that luxury. • Well,
sir, do you think it ever rains on the tin 2, No;
sir ; skips it every . time. ..
in this speech I have, been: trying
merely to do honor to the New Englind Weath
er ;no language could do it justice. But alter
all there are at least one or two things about
that weather (or, it you'please r effects produced
by it) which the residents would not like to
part with. If, welad not our bewitching au
tumn folke we should still have: to credit the
weather with one feature which compensates
for all its bullying vagaries—the . ice-storm
w hen a leafless tree is clothed with ice from the
bottom to the top—ice that is as bright and
clear as a crystal - ; every boiv and twig is strung
with ice-beads and trozen dew drops, and the
_
whole tree 'sparkles, cold and white like the
Shah of Persia's diamond plume. Then the
wind waves the branches, and the 'slim comes
out and turns all those myriads of herids'and
diPps of OHMS, that glow and hum and flash
with all manner of colored fires, which Change
and change again, with inconceivable rapidity,
from blue to`red, from red to green Wand green
to gold ; the tree becomes a sparkling foun
tain, a very explosion of dazzling jewels . ; and
it stands there- the acme, the climax, the su
premest possibility in art or nature of bewil=
dering, intoxicating, intolerable magnificence !
One eanttot make the words too strong.
Month atter months I lay up hate and grudge
against the New . England. weather ;* but when
the ice storm comes at last, I say : "There, I
forgive you now ; the books are square be
tween. us ; you" don't owe me a Cent ; go and
sin no more ; your little faults and foibles
count for nothing ; you are the most enchant
ing•weather in the workt!!'
ANECDOTE. OF PRESIDENT LINCOLN.
A. certain person whoin we • will name Mrs.
Watson, called upon President Lincoln, but
found that a number of persons were in the re
ception room before her. Eihe' took a suit near
the door, and listening to the conversation,
observed that each who went up mentioned his
business in a IoW tone. Whereupon the subject
was repeated by the President in a loud voice
and an off-hand manner, thus
"So yon want a place in the custom-house do
you r
When Mrs. Watson's turn Came, as she saw
no opportunity for a private interview,she step
ped up to the President, and speaking distenct
ly, said
"Mr. Lincoln, I want a commission for my
son in the army."
"So you want a commission for yourison in
the army ? Just like all the Women, coming
anii coming and coming";—rolling US . hands
orie over the other, to express this. " "You want
me te, put a horse into a stall where there is
one already." '
"No, Mr. Lincoln, I didn't come to see about
horses at all. I came , to get s commission for
my son. , He has been educated in a military,
school, and Is entirely capable of taking such
a place." - ,
Mr. Lincoln said: •
"You are a good, honest-looking woman.—
Who - are you ?" • ,
She answered :
"When you were a cadidate for the Presi
dency, 1 was editing a paper, and I did. all I
could tor' you."
"Ah, now you touch me on a mean spot.—
Have you any introductions i"
"I haie a letter from Theodore Smith."
,"I know Theodore Parker ; I don't .know
Theodore Smith."
"1 Kaye a letter from Thomas Spring, a well
known Republican in our State.".
"I know Lebanon Springs ; I don't' know
Thomas' Spring. Bring me aletter from Gov
ernor'NeWell, and I will talk with you."!
Mrs. Watson left, 4ind a few days after
with a letter from' the Governor. Bnt , just
as she was walking into the reception-room,
she was forcibly pushed aside by a large wo
man,, who stepping up before her, made a very
Imi : courtesy to the President, and as gradually
rising, began, in a loud voice.
"Mr. Lincoln, my grandfather fought in the
Revolutionary war, my father fought in the
war of:1812, I havoc brother now fighting in
the Federal army tout down this wicked re
bellion, and now I want a commission for my
son."
Mr. Lincoln looked up with a smile.
"Why, ma'am, you belong to fighting fam
ily. You have done Your share. Go home. and
learn the arts. of peace."
As the discomfited claimant stepped aside
Mrs. Watson was in view, and said :
"Good morning, Mr. Lincoln." •
"Oh, you're the woman that wanted me to
put a horse in a stall where there• was one al
ready." - • .
"No, Mr. Lincoln ; we settled that the other
day. I have a letter from Gov:. Newell."
The letter *is kindlyreceiyed,and the young
main finally received the commission.
The rector of a prominent Episcopal church
in Brooklyn is subject to spells of ebsent-mind
edness, and on , several occasions when preoccu
pied he has exposed himself to the jokes and
laughter of those - who have heard his "mixed"
speeches. The climax was reached a short
time since. The rector had prepared himself
with a sermon appropriate to New Year's eve,
a feature of which consisted in warning his
bearers of the wiles of the evil one. The text
was from the New Testament, and a smile
broke over the congregation as the minister
soberly and with great emphasis said, "Christ
healed the blind,and raised the devil." .
Up, in Muscatine the musical and literary
young men of the Unitarian Church organized
the Muscatine Unitarian Musical Philosophical
Society ; but, when the abbreviated title tame
out in print M. U. M. P. 8., it struck in on the
association and 'IL
BILLINGS sTßoup,
GENERAL
FIRE, LIFE ~AND ACCIDENT
INSURANCE AG-ENT,
atEcsaztrcosis a ..IPaa.
Capital Represelated, $100,000,000:
Fire Association of Phil., Capital & Assets, $ s,soo,ooc
I'lsl:franca Co. of N. A.', Phil., " 5,000,000
Pennsylvania ?ire, Phil., /1700,000
Ins. Co.of the State of Penasyl • .
vania, Phila. Pa. " ". 700,000
Lycoming _
of Alanney, " " 6,000,000
Lancaster - of Lancaster, " " 400,000
Newton -of Newton, 1 150,000
Rome Ins. Co., N. Y„ " " 6,000,000
National " .. " " :480,000
Commercial Fire " " " 450,000
Fairfield Fire ins. Co; South
Norwalk, Conn. " " 225,000
Atlas " ' " " " 500,000
Royal Canadian, of lOntreal, • •
Canada. " • 1,200,000
Liverpool. London & Globe,
of Liverpool Eng., " • 27,000,000
Providence Washington, of
Providence, It: 1., " " 400,000
Trade Ins. Co. Camden, N., J. " " 270 OOP
Pnttereon Piro Ins Co. ratter
son, N. J.. ' - - '340,000
Conn. Mutual Life Ins. Co., Aseette $40,000,000
American Life, Phil'a. •• • $5 000 000
ACCIDENT.
True!arsine. Co., Hart., Capital and Surplus $8,000,000
Railway Passengers St •
$500,000
Thenndersignedhasbeen welknownin thiscounty,for
the past 20 years, as an Insurance Agent. Losses sus
tained by his Conmainies have always been promptly
paid.
Officeupstairs,in building east from Banking
Office of Wm. R.Cooper &Co., Turnpike street. •
BILLINGS STROUD, Agent,
CHARLES H. SMITH, } Office Managers.
AMOS NICHOLS,
Montrose. Jan. 8. 1876.
JO. W. 3P1:11ILrl'Ir,
Manufacturer of
WAGONS, VARRIAGEB,
i 91.01611.13.
BUGGY, CONCORD, PHATON, ANI
SIDE-BAR GEARS.
EVENERS, SINGLE AND DOUBLE
WHIFFLETREES.
BODIES OF THE LATEST STYLES
JOBBING, &c., DONE PROMPTLY
E. T., PURDY.
Montrose, Jo ne 7.1876.
WE I L FLOWERS BLOOM IN
Ate you aware that you can obtSin Rummer but in
January t That you can impart balmy air to you,
families 1 that you can, give spontaneous growth to
plants and Flowers, and that you can make home a
little paradise by purchaiing one of R. C. Sayre's, Hot-
Air Furnaces ? These Furnaces are now cOistructed
with VAPOR PAN by which the atmosphere is tem
pered to that resembling Summer heat.
NO MORE CRACKING OF FURNI
TURE-NO MORE DRY
HUSKY HEAT.
HOT-AIR
And the time has come when consumptives may re
joice in coal Ares. These furnaces are told entirely up
on their own merits, aed are now the leading Furnace
in this part of rho country• All Furnaces are Wirrallt
ed to give entire satisfaction or no Babe.
3E II
3E : r6 IST 61. M
4
I keep competent men on the road who are well ac
quainted with the Furnace business and they are con
stantly putting up these Furnaces. Their work is war
ranted to please. These . Furnaces are now scattered in
the following towns and cities:
Binghamton. Scranton, Providence, Wilkes Barre.
Kingston, Pittston, Elmira. Waverly, WiSummon;
Great Bend, Suspuehrnna Depot, Hancock,
Downeville, Andes, Kazgaretville, Franklin, Unadilla,
Owego, Northumberland, and many other towns.
MilizzLiaraotv=e dt,
Any person wishing& recommendation from any one
living in the above named places. I will gladly coi rss
pond with them, giving names of parties now using
these Furnaces.
•
B. C. SAYRE,
Montrnse Pa.
— d itentrou, December ltd. Is7s—
A NEW STOCK Or
1 .4 C:14:335..erW r
just received and for sale by
8.7
RUE/WINE
FLOUR.
Par' sale !),/
ALSO, ALL KINDS OF
. GR O CERIE S ,
Atthe stereo!
Fresh Cloramigoast
War sale by
i• WAIL
illorstrose, Aprill. 1•111.
LIFE.
S. LANODON, Solicitor.
'---o--
R.. 1• WBBII.
•8. J. WUL
AT COST-AND. BELO
Our large Stock or WINTER' GOODS consisting of
~fti4..hue of
I t•
BOYS;: - ''. : YOUTHS!: y AND ,:y.- CHILDOEWS ..,:,OVERCOATS
MEN'S,
SHAWLB,
DRESS' GOODS,
CLOTHS.
OUR WINTER STOCK MUST BE SOLD OFF!
M. B. - DESSAU/ER, Managing PArtner.
GLENN'S
,- SULPHIII? SOAP.
THORoVoHLY CURES DISEASES OF THE SKI%
-BEACRIFIES THE COMPLEXION, PREVENTS
AND. REMEDIES RHEUMiTISM AND GOUS; •
HEATS SORES AND ABRASIONS OF THE
CUTICLE AND COUNTERACTS CONTAGION.
This Standard External Remedy for &up.
lions, Sore's and Injuries of the Sian, not only
REMOVES FROM THE COMPLEXION ALL BUM*
iglu arising from local impurities of the
,
blood and obstruction of the pores, but also ' lr those produced by the sun and wind, such as
`tan and freckles. It renders 'the CUTICLE
MARVELOUSLY CLEAR, SMOOTH And PLIANT,
and being a WHOLESOME: BEAUTIFIER is
'preferable to any cosmetic.
. ALL THE RE M EDIAL . ADVANTAGES OF SUL.
'PRUE BATHS are .insured mr 'THE USE OF
Glenn's Sulphur Soap, which in addl.'.
,lion to its purifying effects, remedies and PEE
VENTS RHEUMATISM , and GOUT. . •
It also DISINFECTS CLOTHING and LINEN
and PREVENTS DISEASES COMMUNICATED BY
CONTACT with the PERSON.
-IT DISSOLVES DANDRUFF, prevents bald
miss, and retards grayness of the hair.
Physicians speak of it in high terms. • .
Prices-25 and 50 Cents per Cake; Per
• Box (B'Cokes), 60c. and $1.20.
11.--The so cleat cakes axe'tit*. the site of thiass• at
• I'S emu" - ."
" MINS !um AND WEISNER DYE,"
Black, or Brown, 50 Cents,
C. N. CSITTLITON, Prop'r, Sixth 4.,!1.T.
i _ : &.a.:._,.•
..z.
'SULPHUR SOAP
aensiag. Deodorising, Disinfecting , Sooting,
bl~~teg a nd Parityidg.
It renders `the coarsest skin remarkably
soft and healthful. It imparts a beautiful'
- smoothness to the skin, mid forms an elastic
whiteness. It cures burns, scalds, chafing,
excoriation*, roughness, tan, sunburn, rreck
les, liver spots, chapped hands, sores, ulcers.
dandruff ; blisters on the hands and feet, itch,
ground itch, itching between the toes, itching
of the - body, piles, corns. Also relieves the
itching and Irritation of biting and stinging
inseCts. As it is especially adapted to the
TOILET, IitYRSERTi and BAT/I.BOOM, you can
take a Sulphur Bath at pleasure. For bath
ing Children, it is unequalled. Ladies who
use it in their. Toilet would never do without
it. It neutralizes the odor of perspiration,
and; an external - remedy, can - scarcely be
used amiss.. Full directions accompany each
Package. TRY IT.
hitt 25 Cts. Der Cge. 3 Caterfsr
By moil 35 Cts. By mail 75 Cts.
• MAIN DtPOT AT ,
Dr:. Van 33 - ylce's 40#14313,
No. I'B2l Oren St., Philadelphia.
. Sold by All Driarrista,
USE NO OTEER,
HOLIDAY BI.USIO BOOBS I
• • Two splendid volumes for prssents.
THE WORLD OF SONG I
Price in Bde $2 50. Cloth $B. Gilt $4.
, Rarely have we issued a book of rongsincludis_g_such
a variety of really Ara class slid popular Vocal Must
250 pages, full sheet Music size. Songs by nearly sixty
different composers, and among the compositions are
many such gems u Come to me quickly, Golden licks
are silver, My heart's beet love. She's a rosy, she's a
posy, and Millard's Whippoorwill.
We publish 19 valuable collections uniform with the
World and Gems.. Send for catalogue of Home Musical
Library, and select one or more of its books for Christ
mas.
GEMS OF THE DANCE!
A Committal to the famous •§Gems of Strauss 1"
$250 in Boards. $2 Cloth, $4 Gilt. •
Tae Gems of Strauss bad a 'wonderful success, and
this new work is tally its equal, and contains{ the re.
cent Strauss pieces and many otbers by Gung'l, La
motbe, Faust, Coote, Zikoff, and other eminent com
posers. 982 pages, full sheet Music size,
.well filled
with Waltzes, Galops, Polkas, Quadrilles , etc .•
Any book or piece sent, post-poid, for retail price.
OLIVER DITSON dr, oston.
C 0. ,•
U. H. Ditson I Co., J. S. Ditson I Co.,
'lll Broadway. Successor to Los I Wal k er,
. New York. Phila.
, ,Tuly 5, 18'16. [6lw4l
IC:TrLdertetWxk.a.
The undersign ed will
UnderinklnBllolllllPs 8 ' " 6
in their basin
All need their their services will be promptly/biotin
to. tlattsfactios gurantood.
• .& satirsmanis ;
ymadirdue. rsiotiorti uwi.
1tF,,41,i.t) 7 ,Y.-,g41;1,8..,.CL0T13.1NG,: g 1. ; , - ,,•,,. ;
MOINi
BLANKETS,
:FLANNEL SKIRTS,
BEAVERS,
Closing out for CASH' and for CASH' Only!
GUTTENBERG,' ROSENBAUM & CO..
W 'COST!
FUE
- r ,
SA GS) &OS &Cf . .) 10.
A N IMPORTANT LOCAL REFORM !
rioreatter goods, will be sold yt
E. P. STAMP'S STORK.
In Montiose, for CASH at CASH PRzose.
I will keep good' goods and make . the
_ prices to suit the closest buyers.
- - rLotrn.
•
I have had seven years experienee tin
buying and selling FLOUR wthat I know
where to buy and what to Inv to snit the
. • • etuitomers of this vicinity.
I WILL HAKE A SPECIALTY or WHIM
wHEAr FLOUR
and warrant every barrel and - sack is
suit, or refund the_money.
CINEWTNO TOBALCCO
'I have recently made arran . ffements b a y
whichl can sell CHEWING TOEACOO
the pound as cheap as you can, buy of an.
wholesale.' Tobacco House by, the band.
I alsci keep Chewing .Tobswco in =
cadd'gs for whi v o I will: make a
prices.
I keep on band' $ largaquanitty of SAW
and keep under cover, and will sell it it
low as possible - kir this Market:
Auger, Tea, Coffee, Syrup, Soap, Peak
Fish, at the nimble' sit pease
prices. •
• I trust I will receive sufficient patnissik
age from cash buyers to make the calk
system a success. Respectfully,
• .4. P. STAMP./
Opposite the. Banking Roue of Wm. , . a
Cooper &' Co., end . the Dry Goods Hopis it
Guttenberg; Rmnbatim & Cap - - •• •-
Montrose, 0et.11,1876t.t. --3
AA LWAYS.UP TO THE TIME!
GRIUTEST lADtrginfirtliTS EVER OIMIVID
caglit9l; mum PAY 1
.
Raving just retained d'rom New Yorl&with alam
and well selected stock I 'ball be able to ere ay gillo
roue the bast b.uvites seen in this countyzibr_yeass„
they will be fully *minted by giving u 64/1 Mid de.
&mining our stock. Read this f . owing list
Calicoes, __ _ ----- _
1 to
Medina I Se
Detains,'
Dress Goods.— .. le to 1Ntl•
Al r 15 to I:
Shawls ° ~•• •-.... 711
Ladies' Jacket/ % .. $5 ts
to •
GROONRY.ZS4
Matt0...A..... _ ' • '
7, -
C.. • a
Japan Tea ' 81
flyeen Tee . , . , , _ . .
******
...:.' , ; 74* •
Rice.
Boss Chewing. Tobacco
Netting, new .
• • . r •
1300 TO: AND snows: - - • .
.
Kipßoots. . A. ' Sill
Cau Boots • SOO
.
Boys' Boots 1 00 . ,
Ladies' Calf Shoes . ' .- ... .. i 110 1
Ladies' Grain Shoes , i ..... 1 211
Children's Shoes • • • • - se ,
BRADY-MADE CLOTHING. .
Snits $,6 to $lO-1 Overgents.....lls IN) in
Suits, all wool—. II to .„15 1 Walking Coats 6 60 - tel
Salts,all'wool,farp; , •
I Pants • 106 to
cy . .10 tn.,18 - •
Aiso, Hate and Cape, orenkery, Glue And Woodele
Ware. Table and Pocket Culls, Birdwar_ t ot Stank
, Tinware, Ropes, Cordage,and in fact, everything *SOP
ally kept in country stores. -
Oarmotto is,our customers' interest are our in
therefore It is for our benefit to give them all the
vantages of a well bough t stock.
We are still alive on Poultry', and want 10,000
dressed immediately, for which the highest CM
price will be paid. •
Bring on your Poultry. Butter, Eggs, and other
duce. and we guarantee you will be well pleased!.
you called.
T. s.'swiarEALircitorr.'
Rush, Pa., Oct. 25,,1876m8.
SAND , -
i FALL AND WITTER. -
MILLINERY, HAIR ANWIPANOVIPOODt
AT TEN . - • .
•_ , •
F_RENCitAILLINZaIra
Ha4inir returned born New York with the finest lei
best selected stock of goods: ever In this section W
B i 17417 ,rat.ticaoiribiriti).be.nituta,
with prices to suit all.
Also Frank Leslie's Cat Paper Patterns in fall yids*.
, RNUNNBEIL TEN PLACII,
9? 1 1114WHAMTON, -OW
Court St. l N. Y.' I Collin Ns
l'.llnsibittntois N.Y ., April 19;1876.-1.y.41
rawaTiAituoN
BOOK BINDERY
P. A. HOPKINS . SONS, Pitozutes
No. 41 Court Street, Mt Moor, Binghamton. IL T.
ALL STYLES OF BIEDIRiI
AND BLANK K AANUFACTVRINS
RIABONAILI
ilkiONAteith Ng Si t wrs..sia.
=.ROBEI3; ~,
[Deo. 11418744
tel.ar.Xer.
DRY WODS.