lIMOrO 0.• LEhOLE -YACO : ST 'MUSS. I haf von: funny leedle poy, _ Vot goons schust to Inykiee ; Der quesrest sehap, dercreatest toghe, • As efer, you dit see ; Re runs,und schuirtps,und achmashes dipga In all harts off der house But vot off, dot.? he vas mit:O l son, Nine 'tied% Yaeob btrauss.l He get measles und'her mumbs, ITnd.eferyding dots_out ; : r Be sbilla Mine glass off, legepier. s * Puts selinuff into mine kraut He fills mine pipe mit Limburg ,Cheese :Dot vas der roughest - a:louse I'd take dot \from no oder poy But leedle Yaeob Strauss. He d.akes der milk , bin for a &mum, Und cuts , mine cane in dwo, To make der shticks to heat it mit— . Mine cracious dot vas drue clinks mine headVas seliplit abet% He kicks up sooeh a touse-- But Defer mind, der poysvas few •.''. Like dot young Yacob Strauts. He asks Inelipestiongsoocb as dese i• Who , baints mine n sel so red? , , , • Who vas it cuts dosehmobat Waco oudt Irrem , thitalr übpon inine bed ? Und itere der plaze goes vro# der lamp. Vene'er der glim I douse— ' Row gan I all, d:-se dings eggsblain : To dot schmall Yacob Strauss, 1 somedimes clink I schall go wild hiri sooeh a grazy poy, Und vish vonce more I gouid baf.rest Und neacetut dimes enshoV But ven he , vas ashieeri in , ped, So quiet as a mouse, I prays derLord, "da,ke anydings, But leaf dot Yaeob BtrausS,." ONLY . 11,1.5. HABIT, A Detroit drug store hired a' new .soda fountain boy the other day,' and after the boy bad been instructed how to work the apparat- us the proprieter added : "Now you see thi's faucet up here? Weh there is brandy behind, that, and when a man C:omes in and winks and says he'll . takeia Rafe hokum in. his, then you will know that he means brandy. • Everything worked alp right till about yes terday, tieveral men droped in',.said "hohum” got their brandy_ and soda and the boy saiv no cloud in his horizon. At noon the brandy bottle was empty, the drag store man at his dinner, and it, didn't do any good to, "hokum" around that fountain. Along came &man who had perspired until all th;e color in his suspen ders could be seen on his - linen coat, and as he stood helore the fountain, Waiting his turn ; winked at the boy. He had ,'a habit of wink ing his left eye, and he' winged at the fountain as Much as he did at the boy. The lad hower _ er called out : • "riaven't any brandy left--have to al e syr up !" \ • The man- was a, goad I man.. He winked again in ; his;;amazement, and the boy replied ; : "Didn't I tell'you that we hadn't any, brandy left •?- D'ye s'pose I'd lie about it ?"` "My • nikion -ymu—yon shouldn't—shnUldn't!' stammered the good' man as all looked at him. MS great embarrassment he'winked ag ain; '`CanTmake'brandy' out ' 'at `iarsapaillla, and pineapple syrup ri 'yelled "the' bok. t'll you you've got to take the plain soda till the boss miles flack PL'' • didn't wani- any - brainy,' gesped•-the man. "I'Vell.:we don't. kciftP•;;a ui,s,r nYtPing',stcsef in the fountain' and I conl n't tell whiskey-from arnie3 ifl was to - labk o "the shelves !" gnYVil e4 the ; boy.a what. y wa4it e , h you itt tfie - stiloori around the corner." The;winker :winked all aTlmnti.the cyctivtl t t4C .: to explaiq 7 las pOsition, and then :hust(ed otit'aid,.beitded a street-carl . , .THE__.: i rvt4o .w . EpM.4s'.' When Mt. , Webster vistted 'England after be= had attained .facie:enough to precede him,-air EngliSh gentleman took hint one day! to. see, Lord 13roughaK That elhinent4triton ed our Daniel' 'with 'inch ihai he -wash glad 'to get away and:back 0 - Is,roOras..-: The., friend who had taken bitt at once returned in, Lord Broughain in haste and anger, " M y : could 3'_o,ll l 4)e„b4Ye with suh urlseePtbrlVdeness and'- discourtesy to so great a lawYeir andLatcallail,? .7asinstkiti_ng hluni_and 11'0 1W:2 . 44 f with mortitit4tion. "Why, vstit(oliaii:,-1: &D i e; and whom have I been rude,to • 'To bakilel ' Webster of the 84nate of the' United' States." Great Jupiter, what a blunder ! I I. thought it 'was ,that fellow Webster. :who made :a die tionary and nearly ruined - the nglialk lan guage.' ° Then the great Chancellor quickly hunted u the.A.merlean Senator; and havingothr testes iu-cOrkunori hesidealaw , and politics; they knade rvioyal of it, , Lord. lillenborough was strangely possed, once-by-a witness, a laboring bricklayer, who came to be sworn. "Really witness,',' said the eWel justice, " wheW you baye4oappear "before the court, it i s your bnunddii '454 . fo' be more Onan and decent in ionratirogare" • . said witness, "it your lordsliip'enUtes. to that rm. every bit as well dresse4 as your lordship." y, "How 4:16 you mean said his lordship ~.', ..-:' . 41'....::: -. :, -. : '..i . ...`sY4riN.tl i :4 l ,i:#4 , kl4 l P;4 oo . o ; ; ..A ir9*::::4iiiii. ,k,cinitliekini::::t4iFitiiikilititotbeiii : *ii i * lia, A: Witte' sittlir—Tile,'olLerye* met received and for Bole by , :, - 4 J. WWI. UPOI , INE F 0 .IJ , R. rot, FOI! by , 188Q.:ALLliDS , OF 446 ' '• - . 01t004dES' At the store of i&Orose, Apt110.1&15. 18743. 4t ' IiAWLEY pßusmat. ALSO. 11. J. WEBB. -11. J. WOR. 1.1.1911 1 a.