Newspaper Page Text
She Wouldn't do Iletause She had a
She was at one of the Union S pool Houses
half an hotir before school opened. She bad
"Linda" with her. She was a tall woman, for
ty years old, with a jaw showing great deter
mination, and "Linda" was sisteen, and rather
shy and good looking. They mother said she
hadn't bein in the city long, and it was be: du
ty to get "Linda" into school and see that she
was properly educated. When the teacher
tame the author boldly inquired: '
"You know enough to teach, do your •
"I think I do" replied the .teicher, blushing
• "And yoU feel - competes'
scholars; do you?"
"Do you pound 'em with a ferrule, or lick
'ern .with a whip Y .
"We seldom` .resort to .punishment here" re
plied the embarra4ed teacher. .
"That's better .yet," continued 'the mother.
"I know that if Linda sheUld come tipple all
poUnded Td 'feel like killing someone. I
suppose you are of- respectable character, ain't
"Why--7—shenly—wtr! , stammered,, the
teacher, grOwing'white and then red.'
"I expert you are," - continued the woman.
"It's - well, enough to know . who,our children
are 'associating with. Now, - then, do you allow
the boys and girls to sit together? -
"That's right. They never . died to when
was young, and I don't think f Lindi is any bet
ter than I am. Another thidg—do, you allow
.winking? is 1
"Any what!" exclaimed the puzzled teacher.
"Do you allow , a boy to brink at algirl ?" •
asked the woman. .
"Why, no 1" ,
"I was afraid you did. Linda is as shy as a
bird, and if she should ome home some night
and tell tile she had been winked at, 'I don't
know what - rd de. Now,E another thing—do
'yod" have any, beau ?" • •
q;',Why—why—" was the. stampered
think pm do I" reiumedithe
verely. "I know. - just bow it works.—When
you should be explaining what an .A.relepeligo
is you are thinking of your Richard, and Your,
mind is way, way off ; !"
"But, madam --. 1 .
"Never mind,any explanations," interrupted
the woman. "I want Lmda -brought up to
know joggerfy,. figures, writing and. spellogra
phy and if you've got a beau and are Spooking
to the theatre one night, a candy mill back the ,
next, a horse race the next,' and so on, your
mind can't be on education. Come. Linda;
we'll go to some other school j house."
And they j ogged. . •
A JudlviAl Brink.
An Alabama papPr says that the other day,
while sitting in the Circuit - Con:l , , Judge Hum
phreys grew weary of ithe ' endless tongues - of
• attorneys,,and calling tn,i a bailiff, said huskily.
"Go over to the Hole-in-the-Wall and bring me
a drink of whiskey," , •
The bailiff disappeared and'ireappeared short-,
' ly with an bitch and a halt ofcoin juice in ,a
glass, enough , for any Christian man but not a
sufficiency tor an Alabama judiciary 'system.
"Gii back," thundered the judge ; ego back
and tell Hagerty to rent me a drink—a drink
'The bailiff disappeared again i , and reappear
ed again with a tumbler brimming full.,
said i. the wearer of ermine,"that now
is a drink. - But what," wiping his lips with
the cufff of his coat, "what did he say r
"Oh, he didn't say aiiythin, your honor am
- veered the bailiff, blushing.
"Oh,yes he must !haYe. made some remark
now what did he say ?"I .• •
"Well, sah, your honer, he said, 'I sent him
a drink of whiskey at first.; knowthat
the old fool wanted to take abathr:
"Efem, go on with the examination of your
witness, l k - saidAhe judgei.to the attorney for
Some one says ; . The grea 'objection to smart
children is, that when they commence having
whiskers they leavo off haVing brains. - Boa
that ar. philosophers .at six yearifoi age, are
generallY blockhea4 at twenty one. 'lBy forc
ing children, you get so much into thitir heads
that they become cracked order to hold it.
Jenny Lind, on board the Atlantic; asked
one of the fireman, an Irishman, If he had,it in
kis poi,ot:,, would he exchange plinth witicher.
IFaix;r4,: , ,eertainly would," he rePlied,
could pliy;,#,' , *ll." "And why ?" asked Miss .
Lind,reitit;juad because," said he,'" the wa
A very tell man was in the streets Of Poston
when an old lady, who greatly admired his gi
gentle stature, thus addressed him :
"Mister, were you large when you were
small!'" "Yes, mann, .1 was cotisiderabli big
when ,I was litt l e.
A man in the babit of traveling, eoMplaining
10 his friend that ha had often been rqbbed,and
was afraid of stirring abroad, was advised to
carry pistols with on his journeys - 4 'oh
that would be worse;' replied the 'hero, l`the
thieves would rob me of them also." ;
;- • .
"That? the - tain Building`" said a guide at
the Centennial to agieenhorn frOnithe Pie
TreuState the other day. "I knoiv'd ,, our bo gs
wouhl put up somethiu' one," said the Maine
„ , •
"DOn'i come to see Ina any, more just yet,
ICihu ;‘ fattiei has been having' his hoots half
soled with two :rows -Of nails : around ;the' toes,' '
wrote guileless girlco 'her
Phib' i,delphht.laii , more 'fat' womeithin
other',44 - In the 'Union
• I L
. LU.Mi3ER YARD
In or,der to bette 1 r accommodate the community. the
undersWed has es tablished a depot for tgai
the e et
tutnher I\fanufactUred at hit uewiy-erected building on
the. Old Reeler tannery Site, in the •
whcre wine kept constantly on hand. A full stock o
WHITE AND It, ELLOW PINE, HEMLOCK
OAK, ABB, MAPLE AND BLACK
which,wlth the aid Of the most Improved machiney and
competent work** is prepared to work into any shape
to meet the wantsicl Customers. -
• • •
r • •
WELL SEASONED LUMBER; INCLTYDING
FLOORING ;i 'CEILING. SHINGLE AND -..
LATH CONSTANTLY ON. HAND.
Planing, Matching, Mouldings. and Scroll Sawing
cone to order.
CARRIAGES & SLEIGH,
in connectlisn with the isbove establishment. ander the
management of M. E. 11. Rogers. Examine our work
before leaving yoiir orders elsewhere. ',Repairing done
Montrose. eeptemixti 29th. 1875.
The Pooto's Drug
I. N. BULLARIi, PROPRIETOR.
KEN,VON.Driaggiat & Apothecary.
PATENT ;MEDIOINE EMPORIUM
The undersigned would respectful]) announce to all
the people everywhere. that to his already extensiv
stock and variety of Merchandise in the Grocery, Pro
vision.and Hardware:line. - •
• He has added a vtry choice •assortment of PURE
DRUGS, PATENT MEDICINES. - BRUSHES, PER
FUMERY, iltc.; which he flatters hinis li he can assure
the public they will find it to their advantage to exam
ine before purchasing elsewhere. To all Physicians in
this section oi l the county he would respectfully au-.
nounce that helhassecared the 'services of It. Kenyon
as Druggist and Apothecary. IA hose long exnerience and
acknowledged Care and ability. entitle him to your en
tire confidence in the line of compounding medicines
or preparing prescriptions, and who would also esteem
it an especial favor to rece.ive calls from any of bis old
-ustomers or npw ones . . Will make the Patent Medi
sines a specialty. Also. Domestic and Foreign Mineral
Waters-an extenstvestock. Also fine Groceries—
LEIBIO'S EXTRACT OP .BEEP, FRESH SALMON
PICKLED & CANNED CLAMS. LOBSTERS.
. O.N. BEANS. OYSTERS, &c., &c.
'll9;and everything that Is ordinarilyneed
lly soliciting a call I remain
• I. N. BULLARD
In fact. anyth
el': Powder! Powder
de and Shot Powder, Shot. Lead, GIID
Gape, Poaches, Flasks, Fuse, ,
&,c.. .for sale by
FLOWERS , BLOOM • IN
PER• - • : _ • .
Are that you can obtqin .Scimnier heat in
hat you can irnpart balmy air to you -
;; t p)u • can give spontaneous growth to
le and -tnat you can • make home a
p by purchasing one of B. C. Sayre's hot
; ? These -Furnaces' are now constructed
Are you am
families ? tb
)lant4 and '
Min pArudi -
with V A.PU
r PAN by which the atmosphere's tem
resembling Summec heat. . i
1 .. ,• • . , . •I. - .
E CRACKING. OF FURNI.
'RE-NO MORE DRY
joice in co:1
on their ow
n this part
•ed to give
Ime has come when consumptives may re
: fires. These furnaces are Bold entirely up
merits, aed are now the leading Furnace
of the country . All Furnaces are warrant
,ntire satisfaction.or no sale.
I 1 'L
I keep co
qna inted •
etantly - pnt
mpetent men on the road who are well, ac
th the Furnace business and they are con
ing np these IPurriades. Their work is war
ease. These Furnaces are now scattered in
g towns and cities;
An, Scranton, Providence, ,Wilkes Sarre.
Pitteton, Eiznira, Waverly, Williamsport ;
Stlspnehrnna Depot, Ilanco!k, Delhi,
*, Andes, Matgaretville, Franklin, Unadilla,
rthumberlaud, and.many other , '
!on wlshing a - recommendation from any one
e above named places. :I mill gladly COI res.
them, giving names of parties now using
: ,Dfxember 22d. 1875 '
• reigned has an on:minas line running to cv
L. a W. and Erie RailwaYt
or k6-SlOpping B#ggage
her depot will beprooiptly ottdndea to.
is no fe g
river bridge is now completed, hencithere
deIhAEL wax i a.cmin is
• ' 1- 4% _
hand to convey passengers to 4117 pvin
Ttiadluit Coilntry..' '
U. BUCIIANA I , rep r.
end. Aug. 19. 1874.—t1.
I. N. DULLARD
B. C. SAYRE,
Great pend, pa.
TwEn: . DENOCRIT,__ '3014* - : -- •:20, - 4,7.e0
W izi '
ENTIRE NEW STOCK OF bIENs%
BOYS' AND YOUTHS' ,
MRS' SUITS, SOTOS/5
801S' &YOUTHS' SSTOSN
• HATS. & CAPS,
BOOTS I AND SHOES, , YANKEE
NOTIONS, FANCY ,GOODS,
Cheap for cash.. No charges for showing our goods.,
New Milford. Miy 8d.1876.—tf.
BURNS & WHITE,
31anufacturers of and Dealers in •
ITALIAN & AMERICAN 'MARBLE:
MARBLE AND SLATE itLANTLES.
SCOTCH & AMERICAN
-gar Cemetery Lots Enclosed.''
P. C. BURNS, - - - . - Gso. WHITE
Tunihaturock. Pa. &mi. 19,' 1876.-Iy,'
- A. SPECIALTY,
With our four presses, a.large • assortment of
plain and fancy job type, bcrders,.itiks, papers,
cards, etc.,. and experienced Workmen, we. are
prepared to do. • • •
• All Kinds'of Job Work
at, the LOWEst PRICES. • Pforivtl3; upon
receipt of order; (by :mail or otherwise,)
. • •we can furnish
Envelopes,Bill Heads, Statements, Note Heads,
Box Labels, Snow; Cards, Admission Tick
ets, Bali Tickets; Law Blanks. Auction
• Bills, Lar,re Posters, Small Posters, • •
Bottle Labels, Calling .Cards, Address .
Cards, Business. Car&, Invitation' Cards,
Pamphlets, Business Circullirs, Wrappers', Tags,
HAWLEY & CRUSER,
FARM- FOR. SALE. •
The subscriber offers his , farm for sale, satiate in
Forest . Luke„ containing fis acres 511 improved. Will
keep twelve cows, and a tea Well watered, is also
a good grain farm, has a nice yonne• orchard. Terms
,will be made easy. For further particular:- enquire or
address, • AARON REYNOLDS, .'•
eel). In, "713.--tf
11 EYSTONE AC AD EM Y tt irhth
.year commences on the first Tnetiday In Septem 7
her. The fall term cloFe&. on the Tuesusy befort•
Thanksgiving.; The winter term commences on the
first Tuesday afti.i. Tnanksgivine. Cours of 1-tudy
full and complete: Expenses moderate: es
rate: For catalogue
or information addrebt., - JAMES FRIAR,
June 14, 1876.-4 m. Factoryville. Pa.
AGENTS b 3 su bscribersiail !. literarype;t ia ger
nlt)ayear tie CIO ehroin;
free.. Muni9 - 11 ft, Spomier, Pubs. Phila.i Pa. 27
AGENTS WANTED FOR THE GREAT
ENTEN N lAA. HISTORY
,It sells faster i hSl> any n. her book. One agent sold 61
copies In one ay. Stnid tpr our extra terms to agents.
NATIONAL PUBLIFM,ING'Ci>.. , 23
Men are earnlnir, $4O to $l2O per week.! ! selling
our IC) l. - . aitry
AND ITS RESOURCES.
Complete in the thrilling history of 100 eventful years
al-o the 1: - ..xhibition,—grand in description of our migh-.
ty resources in agriculture, commerce, minerals_ mum
factnring. naturnlivonders, curiosities. etc., all richly
illustrated: A Century Map and Birds-eye View free:
1,000 more agents wanted quickly for this and our stan
dard Life of Livingstone, 60,(sX) alma& sold, alsn new
Bible, 2,000 illtpurstions,Has no equal. Extra terms
write to BUBB RD Bft'iS., Publisher's, Phil. 23w4:
FOR , ••
COUGITS. COLDS. HOARSENESS,
AND ALL THROAT DISEAr. I ..PI
1 -118 - .
WELL'S ; OARBULIC ' TABLETS,
PUT UP ONLY IN 111161:TM;BOXES.
- A TRIED AND SURE REMEDY.
Sold by Droggiftsgenerally. and 28
Johnoton. Rolloway Cu. , Philadelphia, Pa.
1876! ~ WB.ERE NOW ? 1876!
To Michiguet, One - If the
,for . emoet, floarlehuig and
healthy Btate6 1 •
of-Snefarraing lande for pale by the Grand Divide
4k, Indiana R. It.
Strong Sae. Ready Marketti, Lore CiooB.. Good
Schoole,ll runs throujh centroif . grant; • Fettle-
meats all kindi rfooneto. rtdoed. Plentt,
of wt4er i . timhtn..and banding,okaAtAlo,. Price from
.14-tolln Per urge.; one. fourtirdown.liatrince on time
rrtiesid for Ma*trated .ptitopliletr lOU of facts and
Ingures and be convinced. .Addrees _
; •;W. A. LlOWAitrecOnlln l r.'
13-t-e , 04 -
P, li.L. PIRRCE sec'y Laud Dtputy.
3E14+3 7 - 4e19.
fiat just received an
At prices to suit the bard times
Also a flue line of
nchv 17. On,
lIBAIiIDB otwanner, Urn onoreted
to sell this famous new book. and yet vs
,000 more It hi' the True Xoq Of a
ws Aft to ilforrucosias." Itstrixtuown by
,B. STOWE. 00,000
14, arid it outsells ail other book. three to
A in ister
- rsay 7pli Vrted il L=O4lO
Aer. says xis
&jibe to toll° ser OUTFIT
Adaniest AMl'oiT Plti litN ees ertolt witli llt tkadstellalott
WHAT FOR ?
buy,BFatet out,uf the
11116E51 NO IIiST ISSORTMENT M lIIE CUUAIII
RY GOOpS, CLOTHING, HATS AND CAPS,
- • •
ROOTS AND SHOES, NOTIONS, - WALL .PAPER,
1 STATIONERY,. &C.
pr Ail inoae I;ou,ght with care and. for cash ' only.. An immense: line of Bar
gains just received. , • ,
Country Produpe of all kinds m a rketed: in ,Philadelphia and New York.
"Welcome" to bOthola - and new 'customers.
Great Bend, litay 10th. 1876.
J. - -. 1 %. BRONSON'S.
him -&_ JEWELRY sTORE.- -. ~
A LARG, ASSORTMENT OF .
GOLD AND Trr ERICAN
SILVER . vv 4
ITCHES 11 1
AN ENDLESS :VARIETY OF CLOCKS:;
:Of ail Descriptipzie.
NE W GOODS :thI4STANTLY ARRIVING.
GREAT REIIIICTIO N . PRI C ES
SHEET' MUSIC, INSTRIMTION BOOKS,
etc., etc: ete:
Watcbes, Chicks, and Fine Jewelry re-j Elli
paired on short notice and warranted. Brie Block, - MONTROSE, Pa.
Fine Engraving done. - March 11876.
THE POPUlifi DRY GOODS AND MIK HOUSE
GUTTNI.I.U.RO,,- , RH Y OSENBATiI. I. &' CO.,
Is still in Montrose, being established nearly a quarter of a century, and intend to be another. Are carrying the
largest and most complete Assortment Of Dry GoOde, Ready-Made Clothinv, &c : , &c., of and other ilrm in the
County. Our facilities for buying in large quantities of first hands by the origami packages, and ty having a
residen , buyer constantly in the market,iss,nch,that it makes it almost an impossibility for any now or old dealtrai,
to compete with nit in prices. . .•
M. S. Dessauer. having just returned from New York with a large stock of seasonable goods, bougbtfor
cash at the most 114vorable rates, prices being so tempting that be bought heavier than usual, and mostly at large
Auction Sales, We will, can and shall sell them at astonishingly low figures. \ a
. - .
DRY GOODS', CARPETS, MILLINERY - AND FANCY GOODS, LADIES'
• I AND GENTS' FURNISHING GOODS,
3EL e .v.311E. et a e Clc tlalXlg
Fine let of Clotha, Cassimers Arid aitinge, for Custom Work. Measures taken and perfect fitting guaran
teed. Only reliable gee& Fold that will bear recommendation. Price list furnished on application as our car
tom. We will say for one and all, that we defy competion. Respectfully yours,
- . GUTTENBIJRG, ROSENBAUM It 00.
Montrose, April 12, Mfg
••• WHOLBSALN DEALER IN- •
BRONZE LiAMPS, OPAL LAMPS,- ALL GLASS LAMPS, HAND LAMPS:
. BURNERS, WICKS,.SBADES, SHADE HOLDERS, ezp., &c.
STILE OP MINT
.45L'ATX:1 ir4163P.61.1\TN'3013 1217.6.1q1.13.
Prises Chiaranteed as Lots as any House in Southern New York.
Address biillia . fd Vromptly . Aitended To;
B EST j
i i ,
. - ”'.o.m.' :, : :E.x.'"Z:',!!
this Spri ng .
Facts - Better Than. Fiction!
OUR 'TOOK COMPRISES AS USUAL,
1 0( our own manufacture and well appreciated for its superior workmanship
A. S„ MINER, 1311410HAIVITON,
SPEdILL INDUOEMENTEI IN
e:are continually adding new material to our 00ee, tins) With our
~._.....,..._.,,:,,.. -,,,:••-•:..,...--', :,,, - .C• . '' '' :: ..,.."...::'
~..;,7:: .' -,'• . • ...
OVICILTYPE - An - IL:FOUR - 1- - .Ptisittag.:7Ptestes:tviDafy Com!Pepo. II
co end queliq, either .. .la Plain Wick Jr Colored Work
GEO, L. , LENHEIM.
(In EN New Store.)
MATHUSHEK AND CHICKERINII
: Georgia Woods & Co's
W. IBESTIEEIr elb ClCk.Few
J. F. BRONSON, AG'T,
• Of all' Descriptions.
HATS, CAPS, &C., &C.
AND OMEN MINH.
Great Bend, Pa.
1 2 1,axic•s.
AND OTHER ORGANS
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
M.B. iiIO3BAUER, Managing 'Ming.
/MIME thWEsT RATES
,; ,:' • ,
BAWLS! & CRUABR•