Twelvi POllticlaners.
_ .
Thetollowhic 'touching rhyme of thv Welve
• _
pohtictanera is to be sung to a pOpular air.
Twelvo-politielatters on-he road th heaven---
Colfax went to t'ether place and then there
were eleven. . • •
El'Wen politicianers—very,plona"men— •
Henry Clews' goose s was enoked l and then there
were ten.
Ten politielanets, cutting quite a shine-:-
Black Friday . svallowed,RiChardsun then there
r- , •, wrre nine. _
Nine pulit \ ttaners at tlle Vh'te rf ouse g t
e
Williams bought, a landanlet and then there
were-eight.
Bight politicianera soda-wouldn t leaven--.
anterior gripes killed Delanio d ,Oen there
were teven. •
Seven politicianep, in a "crooked" fix—
,Bal3cotk stole the Piarepont lintel and then
• - there were six.
Six politleisners still left alivp,- I - i.
Schenck, stuck in the Emma. mine :and then
there were five.
Five politicianers feeling very iore— '
-Belknap tumbled in a Marsh and then. theie
were four. '
Four poltticianers bad as , bad could be—,
_Orville took
.a : : . black (mail) draught and then
- there were three. •
'Three politicianers, lookipg rather blue—
Robeson eat a big cock-Roach and then there
were two:
TwO O)ore. politicianers hulling no 'rnoreAnn;
Cres7vell rati.against a post 'and then there :was
one.. t.
•
One politielaner, term nently'd6 ne— .
Took a, coffin ia a gift and then , there were
none. •
All the crooked whiskey crew gone to re3t with
Blaine-.
Massa Wasliburne come from Franch and set
us up again.
•
Brief Ilihitory of the Republic.
1776—The vrOist penmen ih America signed
the Declaratiotl of Independence, a d the
United states is born. 'lnner invents ccina
tion, and Garrick disgusted, with amateur Ham•
lets quits the stage forever. .
1786—Articles of confederation treatey with
Morocco; Columbia College, New York,
founded, but no crew entered for the regatta.
1796--Tennesse, natures hoOp pole and tar
repository, admitted to the Unicn. Washing
ton steps down and, outs without itny hand
some presents or itching for a third term Susan
Anthony fust getting intO society and smash-,
ing male heart; generally.
1806—Fulton hopes to blow up the wOrld
and invents steamboat's. Total eclipse this
year of the sun. Arun Burr. First soup house
in the world established. - ,
1816—Indiana admitted tO l the Union. Trea—
ty with Algiers. Dr. Mary Walker first medi
tates pantaloons. •
1826—Adams and Jefferson . dia. Sing Sing .
Prison built and stocked 'with the great - spirits
of the age. English grarranar \ kicks the buck
et in the person of Lind* 'Murray. About
this time the "little hatch 4" story was' carved
out of gossamer.
1886--Ar kansas admitted, Seminole war, rail
ways begin to slay their thousands. The bag
gage smasher springs into existence : ; AnttlonY\
no longer dotes on slate pencils and pickels,
but aspires 'to suspenders.; Davy Crockett
kills his last "bar" ' , .
1846—The sacred order of "'Mexican Veter
ens" is founded. The author of the Star
Spangled Banner digs And leaves the eountry
. t
weepiag. Under the n ifitience of a new inven
tion called the lunches th3o country\ recovers.
1556-87.ansas to- bleed -and so i does
Sumner's - head. Base hall and sewing 131Etet in e
agents -spring into existence..
.Mrs. South
worth writes twenty-five . redhat novels,
• .1866—Andrew' Johnson vetoes every bill'
except Lis washerwoman head. Fentanistn
,"goes up;' .and the Aoantic 'cable goes down.
t A.boizt tatitime Beecher sfes Elizabeth.quite
`frequent, and Sergeant Bales having escaped
'from the lunatic, asylum / Continues his flag per
ambulation%
1576 --Centennial. 'One unfired .. niiilioh
acres all imPhiladelphia Ebody's going
if they walk. • Board slB' a day.
.One biscuit
fishball $2,50. Striped stockings loVlier
than ever. St. Louis wins the base ball cham
pionship Hooplah t' - •
• "Pull DOWn Your\ Vest. 9 i l
"You keep vests, my
. friend ?" said a ifutch
man entering a Fulton clothing\store, the other
day., ,::The clerk proinptly anawoed that the
store was cramlnPd with theta. I •
"I varit a vest," said the teuton, "vat' don't
rise up on,lts hiptlegs.-mit the neck. I bought
one in Syrecnsp not\long ag9 mit a dow dollar
andpy , shintrniny I don't notice dot myself
but, everywhere I go the boys gry out mit der
streets, "Yaccttb vy in der name of• der board
of drustees don't you pull 'down your vest ?"L
-and py dam I. have pulled dot vest more'n dree
dOttsand dimes, till I. wore all de, pindings off
mit de buttons. .
Tlae clerk explained the joke and sold him a
vest, and the old man went lout with the Cx
clatnation, "py shintrOini, I don't hear some
tinie abont dot over In Shermany before?'
1 curious example of geographieal Ivo - ranee
IS DIM in one of the new French Centennial
drift as,where the,author locates the Comanche
Indians in Pennsylvania, treats 31otint.Vernon
sta towii fake Ne 4 'Veil, and calls the Blue
_Ridge the Blue Purest, •
Itis observed that there are few thine that
will puke a - map-carry!, his head so straight as
to 'bait; a ragged neck binding-on his shirt,with
-plenty of 'starch On it, well ironed in:,
A Si. Louis woman says 'it Ao,worse to swirl
akaAy a waist with I your arm l in - d ballroom
-,AbLat to<bno your friend's .s
. ter on thi bank
Maim worsol ' Vithy, it is not as good I
vt&tobject'kiliter. 4 .
~t`
`What Weide all the , Diffeience.
Jacob 13liven is , a young man who lived in
Allegheny; he was desperately in love ,With
Amelia and
,Amelia was said to in* re
eiflbeate the •• youth's attachment. Jacob
thought it was time to broaith i . the sublect to
Amelia's tather,who was u`naware that Bliven's
uncleshad dies , two weeks bef i ae, leaving Jake
a ,handsome legacy. The young man, with
Amelia on his arm, came into the awiblpres
enceof the father;
"good evening, Mr: . S said Blivens,bes
itntingly, while Amelia grew scarlet. • •
r i .exlaitneti the- old gentleman, looking
np,nral- his prnibetic Soul-telling-him what was
coming. . • . •
:'"What'S this?" - • ,
A.chelia and me---" •
"Amelia!" interrupted the • 011 l • man. "By
dad I haw the young
.fleas do get familiat on
short acquaintance; it was Miss Amelia a, week
`. l Yes. sir ; but things hey changed since last
Week," said. Blivens: boldly, an' we've come to
ask your consent - -," , • -
"DiaholiCal wretch 1--"
Amelia'-here commenced her pat by stop
„. • •
ptng the old man's mouth with a kiss..
"Your consent,” continued Blivens, taking
Arneliaqv the Wind and
,kneeling at th6"stern
parent's" -feet, to be joined in the b6nds of —"
"Pernicious catiff ! Out of my housa!", cried
."D'ye think my daughter
shall marry a beggar?'",.. •
`!Oh, just bold up minute ; yOu git mad's
e as y that .uobody , cap tell you nothing," said
poor Blicens: ;‘!My uncle .died—"
"And wbat the deuce did he die for ?" said
Mr. B. • '
!`I didn't ask' Ilim, Slr ; but .being as he
dead, and Amelia loves me, and—"
91enditeious :parvenue ! Do . you love this
•
?"
"Yes, papa," replied the . fair Amelia blush
ingly:
• !TB, disoyou for it," said My.S
expeeted,greater. things of du."
"Well, as I was' saying," Blivens went on,
"she loves me and I love her, and we both love
each other, and we want your consent."
[This was yerj bold in Blivens, and the old
man didn't answer. Amelia looked hopefully
at her Jake, and Jake looked anxiously at
Amelia's papa. , •
"And if you did marry her, what have you
of in the wyty of furniture ?" st length 'said
Mr Smith ; "a piccadilly collar and a boiled
shirt, 1 sup Pose." ' •
7. "No, sir ; l'lre got ,eight piceadillys and five
shirts," replied Jacob, after a moment's beg
itation, "besides $lO,OOO that my uncle left me,
"What my dear \Jacob ! illy dear
boy, bless your heart, why the deuce didn't you
say so befori?" cried 'the old Irian, shaking
Blivens. by the hand. "Here, Amelia ; take
her, young man, and may
,beareu bless you
both." \
It is reported' that - Mr. Smith has asked his
son-in-law for .a loin of $9,000, and that Jake
has refused and, taken his wife to New York,
where he intends to be free from father-in-law-
•
gA Fegirtul Sumuions.
. .
.1 "-Mr. Smith; I nave called to see it 1 could
take you-life." . .
".Wh—wh—*hat d'you say ?" *.exel4imed
Smith in some alarm;. • : • :-'
.I say that rye come round to - talte your
lie. •• My mime. is Gunn. As soon as 'I heard
L u
y' were unprotected that you bad ,nothirignn -
Y - life..l thought 1 would : just run. initud :
Settle. it for you. at once." . .
Then.Stnith . got up and went.„to the other,
side of the table. and said to hirnself--:: : . ,
"Iti's a lunatic who • has -.broken out, of:the
asylum. 1ic. 4 11 . . kill 'mc it 1 „halloo or, run,
must humor him." -
Then Gunn, fumbled' in; his. pocket 'after-his,
lnortality.tables, followed Smith around the
room and .s4kl
• "You can choose your 'own plan , you know
It's immaterial to me: Some like one way.
and some. another.. It's a • matter of taste.
Which one do you prefer?" •
rather no; die at all;! said Smith in de-'
spair. . . .
"But you've got -to die, of courie," said Gunn:.
"that's a thing there's no . ehoice about.' 'All
can do is to make death easy for you ; to make;,
you feel .happy .as you go off. :Now which
plan Will - you take ?" .
"Gouldn't.yon postpone it until, to Morrow;
.so ad to give me time to think?" •-•
"No, I. prefer to take you on the spot .I might
as well'do it now as at any other time. Non
ht ve'a wits and children I .'" '
"Ycs, and I think you ought - to have some
consideration for them, and let me off."
. "Well, that's 'a curious kind of an argument,"
said Gunn.: "When I take you your family
will be perfectly ;protected of course, and not
of her-wise." - ,
I :lsut why do you want to murder me ?
."MUrder
„you! Murder you !;WEa in ibun- -
tier's
_t about murdering you ?" •
. _
"Why' didnt you sap" .. • -."
"I bailed to get you, to take out a life,.iniur
aueepo4ey n our company
"Oh, You . did, did you.?". saki.Stuith,staitehii.
hicorning fierce, well I , ain't a going to do it
and want you to skip out of,this office. or I'll
brain you with the poker: Come, now, skip f"
Theo Mr : Gunn withdrew without elling a
policy, and. Smith, is still uninsured.
A Wisconsin woman recently tried salting
the feed of pens, to 'matte them lay, The expe
ritnent was so successful that seven fat hens
soon 'lay dead.
Some one to love ! It is the cry. &4 the soul,
the note to which every , heart responds ;. the
bund-which will bring us il .togetlier in that
other:world Where Mournera `shall..ne'ootnforted
And loge Shall reign, forever. • • _ 4
4 11 1 1 , -41111.-- -
Iron, -Hardaritre, etc.
NEW FIRM,
NEW GOODS,
NEW PRICES,
-BOYD - Co.,-
($1700111911011 TO . Bo D it cOMWIIII .
. .
DN*I2ERS iN " ' .
CoOk Stoves- wises Beat
,. 1
•
ing ' S oves.
ONT ME •
Is the name of a new Cook Stove.. just out, containing
a new principla in baking, and is destined to make a
revolution in the construct* of Cook Stoves. Come
in and see it.. -
TILk APGAND --
,
As cheating stove standsithout a rival, in beauty.
durability and economy: ' orne and satisfy yourself;
lv
and get names of parties n w using them.
TIN W I ARE.
We take special pleasure offering to the Wholesale
and Retail Trade, our desirable supply of Tinware. We
use nrne but t he beet of charcoal plates.
OUR WORKMEN 4313 EXPERIENCED !
OUR STYLES ARE FAULTLESS !
GOODS ARE WARRANTED!
And we defy any to produce better good's' fGr less
money.
• \ LAMPS.
• .
A full line of Lamps of beautiful design. Also Chim
neys of :every description. •
STONE WARE.
• ,
VP:4er Jars, Banging P.ts, Churns, Butter Jars,
Preserve Jars, Jags, Dtov= Tubes, &c.
1 BUILDERS ;HARDWARE. .
Butts and Screws, Locks a i td Snobs. Latches, Catches,
Doors. Sash, Blinds. Gi es. Building. Paper. White
Lead, Zinc, Qiis, Varnishes, Paint Brushes, Spirits of
Turpentine, Paint cf any 4itwde desired.© Also colors
for mixing paint. .1 • •
LTS.•
A fall assortisent of Philo del .hta Carriage Bolts. and a
full line of Iron Aales, Bar Iron. Horse Shoes, Nails,
Rode, ace.
.
;-
.\, -
We'purchase in Car-load lots,' therefore can sell to tho
trade in less quantities as cheap as any house in the
city. -
Wm. H. BOY , I J.11,*
hiontrose, March 15; 12
HAYDEN
STOVES, TIN, I
IRON WARES
, sISHING: GOO
. . ..ERS - HA •
BL4NCEIARD,
. 'SASH, BILIN
DOWS,. CO
. - IN .
- .
which we at B 1 nchard, Bartlet & Co's. pet ea
•
T 7 -7
I - •
NAILS, SCREO, LAT() ILES, 8UTT1r,...!,
SASH. AND. BLIND FASTEN
' ERS- AND HINGES, HOES,
FORK SHVELS, RAKES, •
WIRE ( GOODS, &Q.
Special inducements cin Pane, Pails, Cooleir and al:
Daibrhig Goode.
IRON - CLAD, FIRST PREMIUM.
MII4K PAINS,
VOHN IiA.YDEN, General Agent.)
OTSEGO COUNTY. LUMBER, I-LAT
' FORM;_SPAING AND BUG
. GY WAGGONS. .
thiatirpaßsed for
We Mitre recpbtly ai
TUB CI
made by Rathbone Bard & Co., Albany N. If.. and the
Armand Base Burningi Parlor Stove, and Canard. Cook
stoves, numfactnred - hy Perry Co., Alban, N. We
alao keep the celebrated
DIAMOND BASE 'BIJRNING AND
FEARLESS UOOKING STOVES.
Ratnhone, Jewett &
_Ransoin, Ranges. with Copper
Reservors anti Nickle **flutings of the latest Improved
,jpatterns. Repairing promptly done and orders, for
obbing solicited, _
HAYDEN I t CLUMENTti.
New Milford, May I2th. 105.—tf.
T.3 1 .4:14:rtte11r1. 1 .3:11.fge•
The andetsigt ~ ~ ~,, ~ , od will retake
Urta,...tuktag ~,,,,, , a Speciality
t • la their busbiess,
their tairviceltirlit• tegi PrPmPtlY attended
to. Eistillacliott guarinteet, • 4' • •
. FriestierilHa. Pa.. 4Pril 7,.1576. 14-04 • '
ORWIN, I J. It. COOLY.
CIIMUATS,
lore in
OPPER & SHEET
HOUSE .17URN
piS, AND BUILD.
tDWAUE,,.&C..
onto 'lor
IBAtiTLET & CO:,
DOORS, WIN
-NICE MOULD
:S; &C.,.
Style and DurabiNty.
to our selection• of Stoves
Coos ?
.-xm - #w : 44.fi!‘q: : . _.T:41 ,, : 0 : ;:, , ,-! .- ia . .z . ,
GEb_RGE.;.;- - : 'L.' . .' - . ; .-':::,I4EN.iiM-A.t
k Has inst - returnid jrom New York with a large and complete assortment of
.oy,„:•:qoo,os,.ip_L - 0T,H!.!4,..9-;.-: , Bgq:r§... - : . ..!,, -- .§,HgEs-
Eats and Caps, -Notions, Svc., Ste.,
Filling his large fftemporarj" on the Nadonal'. Hotel grounds. We shall
• N: remain here until our new .
• • „
BRICK' stalls IS COMPLETE ON\THE -OLD GROUND.
Our stock is new and bought with -care. We will,
,us heretolmv, offer the largest
' sortxneut And best bargains iu t6e
.
, •
I3utier sed.Yroduee shipped.
Money advanced: when desired.
Grea\ Bend, July 1tii,.1875.
PlagEs OVIEUN
J. [y. , . B : toNsoys
-
MU 'lO a ..JEWELRY - STORE ...
A LARGE ASSORTMENT OF
'EN WATCHES AMERICAN
&FOREIN.
AN ENDLESS V'AltlElt OF CLOCKS.
•
ms..Lisrla
Of all !Description..
.&RW _GoobS COStANTLY ARRIVING:
GREATiiiinit!crioN is PRICES
; . 1 , This Spring. - ,•
1 - ! ' ' ' •
. .
.e.... ..,,,,,„.....,..,
:... -, A ,,..,.._„. , i'' _ - ; :r- ......',•wiN.
fr.4 7 . ‘ -- ..., / ^4p.. . • r, , -_,,_' l ',• , ;-!:
i I
1
.
A FINE 'ASSORTMENT. -
•
glgr Wat es ~
clocks, and Fi n e Jewelry re-., n
paired on short notice a. d 'warranted.
Fine Engravingidone.
113834:i
In MUM DRY GOODS:ND MIN NOSE
,Q-U . TONII : 011 -1, R9SE.NnAU'ilfit &-, CO.,
„ • .
, t .
Is still in Montrose, being established nearly a quarter of a century. and intend to be Limber. Art carrying the
largest and most complete Aisortment of Dry Goode, Deady:Mader Clothfue, ,se., a c... of any other firm is the
County. Ouffacilities for buying inl ige quantities of first hands by the original tus,kapet‘, ana) Y hrtilugg
resident buyer constantly in the mark t,is such,that it makes it almost an impossibility for soy new or.old dealers
to conipete with us in prices. ! • I ,
Id. S. Degroner.llavitig just returned from New. York with a, large stork of scasim:.ble goods. houghtfor
cash at the most favorable rates, prices being so tempting - that he bought heavier'thUn usual. and mostly at large
Auction Sale's. IWe will, an and shall sell them at'astontabingly low figures. - , ' ' ' .
i
,DRY GOQDS, , CARPETS, MILLINERYAIiD d 'FANOT GOODS, LADIES'
AND GENTS' YURNISHIN Gool* .
'
Leyet -INIE et ell e 40 1c• t li. 1 22. g
ci..
, A
• . •
OF our own mannfs tnr ~ e and well appreciated for its superior workmanship
• I
• •
Cloths; Cassimera adu -uitlnp, for Custom Work. Measures ..tl4ken and rerfect titling guaror
! reliable goods told that will beer trecomniendation. Price list furnished cavappliratteu Our ctP
ill say l'or one and all, that we def. competion. Respectfully yours,
' -
GUTTENBU ROSETTBAIIPI Co.
Flee lot ,*
teed. Only!
tom. We
~Apdb 19. Wt 6.
319nOose
• - ;
A. MINER.!BINGHAMTC tsf
, f '
. ,
• • .
o
WHOLESALE DEALER LIS
.- : •
1 . •
BRONZE LA UPS, OPAL LAM S; ALL GLASS LAMPS. TiAND . LAMPS!
BURNERS, wicgs, STIADtS, SHADE 1101.1)E11s. &c., '&c.
EVEIRY STYLBOP FLINT AND:COMMON
;:BP*OIAL; INDUCEMENTS
•
ALSO *ATTUFACTURiR .OF
Titer .a5..x433 af"23):Esa.rrisrieno w.A.re a.
Prises Guarafnteed ate Low ess anylrouie i» Seuthern New , Yark.
Addireni by Mail TioniptlY Ationded. To. . March laws. S . : 111N1H.
111Q011(50113 PRINTING 1.
sio:eoUili34ll,7- : pair. material to our pflicr. Mind our
a.
Large Stock I nf JOB TYPE y and Ton Printlug Presses, we DAY 001110pet1011
ut - roi**, dui/Aria
- i :IVfit* !,H I . 2 z • •'4
' Y '
ibstelliiiijtiii: l 4d*orthiei3iiiiis.
Prreett Imes.
=%-AT-
Facts Better e,
Tlfan Fiction!
OUR STOqK cOMPRISES - AS. US If Al,
WC., &C.
Highest torice. and' guaranteed.
GEO. L. LENHEIM.
MAT.HUSHEK AND CtIICKERING
George Woods & Co's
mosiezermr eti 00. Par
AND OTHER ORGANS.
J, F. BRONSON, AG'T,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
MUSICAL MERCHANDISE
Of all DeScrlptiolis:
BREET 3113510 2 1 INSTRUCTION BOOKS,
Brick Block; •- ';fillkltiTßOSE, Pa.
• March 2241,1876. - • • ,
AT TAE E.,113t3 FAT !RATES
etc., etc., et.i.
. H. S. DES'SAUXII, Managing l'artirr.
ilAwisix a
1870
jiQUit•