Twelvi POllticlaners. _ . Thetollowhic 'touching rhyme of thv Welve • _ pohtictanera is to be sung to a pOpular air. Twelvo-politielatters on-he road th heaven--- Colfax went to t'ether place and then there were eleven. . • • El'Wen politicianers—very,plona"men— • Henry Clews' goose s was enoked l and then there were ten. Ten politielanets, cutting quite a shine-:- Black Friday . svallowed,RiChardsun then there r- , •, wrre nine. _ Nine pulit \ ttaners at tlle Vh'te rf ouse g t e Williams bought, a landanlet and then there were-eight. Bight politicianera soda-wouldn t leaven--. anterior gripes killed Delanio d ,Oen there were teven. • Seven politicianep, in a "crooked" fix— ,Bal3cotk stole the Piarepont lintel and then • - there were six. Six politleisners still left alivp,- I - i. Schenck, stuck in the Emma. mine :and then there were five. Five politicianers feeling very iore— ' -Belknap tumbled in a Marsh and then. theie were four. ' Four poltticianers bad as , bad could be—, _Orville took .a : : . black (mail) draught and then - there were three. • 'Three politicianers, lookipg rather blue— Robeson eat a big cock-Roach and then there were two: TwO O)ore. politicianers hulling no 'rnoreAnn; Cres7vell rati.against a post 'and then there :was one.. t. • One politielaner, term nently'd6 ne— . Took a, coffin ia a gift and then , there were none. • All the crooked whiskey crew gone to re3t with Blaine-. Massa Wasliburne come from Franch and set us up again. • Brief Ilihitory of the Republic. 1776—The vrOist penmen ih America signed the Declaratiotl of Independence, a d the United states is born. 'lnner invents ccina tion, and Garrick disgusted, with amateur Ham• lets quits the stage forever. . 1786—Articles of confederation treatey with Morocco; Columbia College, New York, founded, but no crew entered for the regatta. 1796--Tennesse, natures hoOp pole and tar repository, admitted to the Unicn. Washing ton steps down and, outs without itny hand some presents or itching for a third term Susan Anthony fust getting intO society and smash-, ing male heart; generally. 1806—Fulton hopes to blow up the wOrld and invents steamboat's. Total eclipse this year of the sun. Arun Burr. First soup house in the world established. - , 1816—Indiana admitted tO l the Union. Trea— ty with Algiers. Dr. Mary Walker first medi tates pantaloons. • 1826—Adams and Jefferson . dia. Sing Sing . Prison built and stocked 'with the great - spirits of the age. English grarranar \ kicks the buck et in the person of Lind* 'Murray. About this time the "little hatch 4" story was' carved out of gossamer. 1886--Ar kansas admitted, Seminole war, rail ways begin to slay their thousands. The bag gage smasher springs into existence : ; AnttlonY\ no longer dotes on slate pencils and pickels, but aspires 'to suspenders.; Davy Crockett kills his last "bar" ' , . 1846—The sacred order of "'Mexican Veter ens" is founded. The author of the Star Spangled Banner digs And leaves the eountry . t weepiag. Under the n ifitience of a new inven tion called the lunches th3o country\ recovers. 1556-87.ansas to- bleed -and so i does Sumner's - head. Base hall and sewing 131Etet in e agents -spring into existence.. .Mrs. South worth writes twenty-five . redhat novels, • .1866—Andrew' Johnson vetoes every bill' except Lis washerwoman head. Fentanistn ,"goes up;' .and the Aoantic 'cable goes down. t A.boizt tatitime Beecher sfes Elizabeth.quite `frequent, and Sergeant Bales having escaped 'from the lunatic, asylum / Continues his flag per ambulation% 1576 --Centennial. 'One unfired .. niiilioh acres all imPhiladelphia Ebody's going if they walk. • Board slB' a day. .One biscuit fishball $2,50. Striped stockings loVlier than ever. St. Louis wins the base ball cham pionship Hooplah t' - • • "Pull DOWn Your\ Vest. 9 i l "You keep vests, my . friend ?" said a ifutch man entering a Fulton clothing\store, the other day., ,::The clerk proinptly anawoed that the store was cramlnPd with theta. I • "I varit a vest," said the teuton, "vat' don't rise up on,lts hiptlegs.-mit the neck. I bought one in Syrecnsp not\long ag9 mit a dow dollar andpy , shintrniny I don't notice dot myself but, everywhere I go the boys gry out mit der streets, "Yaccttb vy in der name of• der board of drustees don't you pull 'down your vest ?"L -and py dam I. have pulled dot vest more'n dree dOttsand dimes, till I. wore all de, pindings off mit de buttons. . Tlae clerk explained the joke and sold him a vest, and the old man went lout with the Cx clatnation, "py shintrOini, I don't hear some tinie abont dot over In Shermany before?' 1 curious example of geographieal Ivo - ranee IS DIM in one of the new French Centennial drift as,where the,author locates the Comanche Indians in Pennsylvania, treats 31otint.Vernon sta towii fake Ne 4 'Veil, and calls the Blue _Ridge the Blue Purest, • Itis observed that there are few thine that will puke a - map-carry!, his head so straight as to 'bait; a ragged neck binding-on his shirt,with -plenty of 'starch On it, well ironed in:, A Si. Louis woman says 'it Ao,worse to swirl akaAy a waist with I your arm l in - d ballroom -,AbLat to<bno your friend's .s . ter on thi bank Maim worsol ' Vithy, it is not as good I vt&tobject'kiliter. 4 . ~t` `What Weide all the , Diffeience. Jacob 13liven is , a young man who lived in Allegheny; he was desperately in love ,With Amelia and ,Amelia was said to in* re eiflbeate the •• youth's attachment. Jacob thought it was time to broaith i . the sublect to Amelia's tather,who was u`naware that Bliven's uncleshad dies , two weeks bef i ae, leaving Jake a ,handsome legacy. The young man, with Amelia on his arm, came into the awiblpres enceof the father; "good evening, Mr: . S said Blivens,bes itntingly, while Amelia grew scarlet. • • r i .exlaitneti the- old gentleman, looking np,nral- his prnibetic Soul-telling-him what was coming. . • . • :'"What'S this?" - • , A.chelia and me---" • "Amelia!" interrupted the • 011 l • man. "By dad I haw the young .fleas do get familiat on short acquaintance; it was Miss Amelia a, week `. l Yes. sir ; but things hey changed since last Week," said. Blivens: boldly, an' we've come to ask your consent - -," , • - "DiaholiCal wretch 1--" Amelia'-here commenced her pat by stop „. • • ptng the old man's mouth with a kiss.. "Your consent,” continued Blivens, taking Arneliaqv the Wind and ,kneeling at th6"stern parent's" -feet, to be joined in the b6nds of —" "Pernicious catiff ! Out of my housa!", cried ."D'ye think my daughter shall marry a beggar?'",.. • `!Oh, just bold up minute ; yOu git mad's e as y that .uobody , cap tell you nothing," said poor Blicens: ;‘!My uncle .died—" "And wbat the deuce did he die for ?" said Mr. B. • ' !`I didn't ask' Ilim, Slr ; but .being as he dead, and Amelia loves me, and—" 91enditeious :parvenue ! Do . you love this • ?" "Yes, papa," replied the . fair Amelia blush ingly: • !TB, disoyou for it," said My.S expeeted,greater. things of du." "Well, as I was' saying," Blivens went on, "she loves me and I love her, and we both love each other, and we want your consent." [This was yerj bold in Blivens, and the old man didn't answer. Amelia looked hopefully at her Jake, and Jake looked anxiously at Amelia's papa. , • "And if you did marry her, what have you of in the wyty of furniture ?" st length 'said Mr Smith ; "a piccadilly collar and a boiled shirt, 1 sup Pose." ' • 7. "No, sir ; l'lre got ,eight piceadillys and five shirts," replied Jacob, after a moment's beg itation, "besides $lO,OOO that my uncle left me, "What my dear \Jacob ! illy dear boy, bless your heart, why the deuce didn't you say so befori?" cried 'the old Irian, shaking Blivens. by the hand. "Here, Amelia ; take her, young man, and may ,beareu bless you both." \ It is reported' that - Mr. Smith has asked his son-in-law for .a loin of $9,000, and that Jake has refused and, taken his wife to New York, where he intends to be free from father-in-law- • gA Fegirtul Sumuions. . . .1 "-Mr. Smith; I nave called to see it 1 could take you-life." . . ".Wh—wh—*hat d'you say ?" *.exel4imed Smith in some alarm;. • : • :-' .I say that rye come round to - talte your lie. •• My mime. is Gunn. As soon as 'I heard L u y' were unprotected that you bad ,nothirignn - Y - life..l thought 1 would : just run. initud : Settle. it for you. at once." . . Then.Stnith . got up and went.„to the other, side of the table. and said to hirnself--:: : . , "Iti's a lunatic who • has -.broken out, of:the asylum. 1ic. 4 11 . . kill 'mc it 1 „halloo or, run, must humor him." - Then Gunn, fumbled' in; his. pocket 'after-his, lnortality.tables, followed Smith around the room and .s4kl • "You can choose your 'own plan , you know It's immaterial to me: Some like one way. and some. another.. It's a • matter of taste. Which one do you prefer?" • rather no; die at all;! said Smith in de-' spair. . . . "But you've got -to die, of courie," said Gunn:. "that's a thing there's no . ehoice about.' 'All can do is to make death easy for you ; to make;, you feel .happy .as you go off. :Now which plan Will - you take ?" . "Gouldn't.yon postpone it until, to Morrow; .so ad to give me time to think?" •-• "No, I. prefer to take you on the spot .I might as well'do it now as at any other time. Non ht ve'a wits and children I .'" ' "Ycs, and I think you ought - to have some consideration for them, and let me off." . "Well, that's 'a curious kind of an argument," said Gunn.: "When I take you your family will be perfectly ;protected of course, and not of her-wise." - , I :lsut why do you want to murder me ? ."MUrder „you! Murder you !;WEa in ibun- - tier's _t about murdering you ?" • . _ "Why' didnt you sap" .. • -." "I bailed to get you, to take out a life,.iniur aueepo4ey n our company "Oh, You . did, did you.?". saki.Stuith,staitehii. hicorning fierce, well I , ain't a going to do it and want you to skip out of,this office. or I'll brain you with the poker: Come, now, skip f" Theo Mr : Gunn withdrew without elling a policy, and. Smith, is still uninsured. A Wisconsin woman recently tried salting the feed of pens, to 'matte them lay, The expe ritnent was so successful that seven fat hens soon 'lay dead. Some one to love ! It is the cry. &4 the soul, the note to which every , heart responds ;. the bund-which will bring us il .togetlier in that other:world Where Mournera `shall..ne'ootnforted And loge Shall reign, forever. • • _ 4 4 11 1 1 , -41111.-- - Iron, -Hardaritre, etc. NEW FIRM, NEW GOODS, NEW PRICES, -BOYD - Co.,- ($1700111911011 TO . Bo D it cOMWIIII . . . DN*I2ERS iN " ' . CoOk Stoves- wises Beat ,. 1 • ing ' S oves. ONT ME • Is the name of a new Cook Stove.. just out, containing a new principla in baking, and is destined to make a revolution in the construct* of Cook Stoves. Come in and see it.. - TILk APGAND -- , As cheating stove standsithout a rival, in beauty. durability and economy: ' orne and satisfy yourself; lv and get names of parties n w using them. TIN W I ARE. We take special pleasure offering to the Wholesale and Retail Trade, our desirable supply of Tinware. We use nrne but t he beet of charcoal plates. OUR WORKMEN 4313 EXPERIENCED ! OUR STYLES ARE FAULTLESS ! GOODS ARE WARRANTED! And we defy any to produce better good's' fGr less money. • \ LAMPS. • . A full line of Lamps of beautiful design. Also Chim neys of :every description. • STONE WARE. • , VP:4er Jars, Banging P.ts, Churns, Butter Jars, Preserve Jars, Jags, Dtov= Tubes, &c. 1 BUILDERS ;HARDWARE. . Butts and Screws, Locks a i td Snobs. Latches, Catches, Doors. Sash, Blinds. Gi es. Building. Paper. White Lead, Zinc, Qiis, Varnishes, Paint Brushes, Spirits of Turpentine, Paint cf any 4itwde desired.© Also colors for mixing paint. .1 • • LTS.• A fall assortisent of Philo del .hta Carriage Bolts. and a full line of Iron Aales, Bar Iron. Horse Shoes, Nails, Rode, ace. . ;- .\, - We'purchase in Car-load lots,' therefore can sell to tho trade in less quantities as cheap as any house in the city. - Wm. H. BOY , I J.11,* hiontrose, March 15; 12 HAYDEN STOVES, TIN, I IRON WARES , sISHING: GOO . . ..ERS - HA • BL4NCEIARD, . 'SASH, BILIN DOWS,. CO . - IN . - . which we at B 1 nchard, Bartlet & Co's. pet ea • T 7 -7 I - • NAILS, SCREO, LAT() ILES, 8UTT1r,...!, SASH. AND. BLIND FASTEN ' ERS- AND HINGES, HOES, FORK SHVELS, RAKES, • WIRE ( GOODS, &Q. Special inducements cin Pane, Pails, Cooleir and al: Daibrhig Goode. IRON - CLAD, FIRST PREMIUM. MII4K PAINS, VOHN IiA.YDEN, General Agent.) OTSEGO COUNTY. LUMBER, I-LAT ' FORM;_SPAING AND BUG . GY WAGGONS. . thiatirpaßsed for We Mitre recpbtly ai TUB CI made by Rathbone Bard & Co., Albany N. If.. and the Armand Base Burningi Parlor Stove, and Canard. Cook stoves, numfactnred - hy Perry Co., Alban, N. We alao keep the celebrated DIAMOND BASE 'BIJRNING AND FEARLESS UOOKING STOVES. Ratnhone, Jewett & _Ransoin, Ranges. with Copper Reservors anti Nickle **flutings of the latest Improved ,jpatterns. Repairing promptly done and orders, for obbing solicited, _ HAYDEN I t CLUMENTti. New Milford, May I2th. 105.—tf. T.3 1 .4:14:rtte11r1. 1 .3:11.fge• The andetsigt ~ ~ ~,, ~ , od will retake Urta,...tuktag ~,,,,, , a Speciality t • la their busbiess, their tairviceltirlit• tegi PrPmPtlY attended to. Eistillacliott guarinteet, • 4' • • . FriestierilHa. Pa.. 4Pril 7,.1576. 14-04 • ' ORWIN, I J. It. COOLY. CIIMUATS, lore in OPPER & SHEET HOUSE .17URN piS, AND BUILD. tDWAUE,,.&C.. onto 'lor IBAtiTLET & CO:, DOORS, WIN -NICE MOULD :S; &C.,. Style and DurabiNty. to our selection• of Stoves Coos ? .-xm - #w : 44.fi!‘q: : . _.T:41 ,, : 0 : ;:, , ,-! .- ia . .z . , GEb_RGE.;.;- - : 'L.' . .' - . ; .-':::,I4EN.iiM-A.t k Has inst - returnid jrom New York with a large and complete assortment of .oy,„:•:qoo,os,.ip_L - 0T,H!.!4,..9-;.-: , Bgq:r§... - : . ..!,, -- .§,HgEs- Eats and Caps, -Notions, Svc., Ste., Filling his large fftemporarj" on the Nadonal'. Hotel grounds. We shall • N: remain here until our new . • • „ BRICK' stalls IS COMPLETE ON\THE -OLD GROUND. Our stock is new and bought with -care. We will, ,us heretolmv, offer the largest ' sortxneut And best bargains iu t6e . , • I3utier sed.Yroduee shipped. Money advanced: when desired. Grea\ Bend, July 1tii,.1875. PlagEs OVIEUN J. [y. , . B : toNsoys - MU 'lO a ..JEWELRY - STORE ... A LARGE ASSORTMENT OF 'EN WATCHES AMERICAN &FOREIN. AN ENDLESS V'AltlElt OF CLOCKS. • ms..Lisrla Of all !Description.. .&RW _GoobS COStANTLY ARRIVING: GREATiiiinit!crioN is PRICES ; . 1 , This Spring. - ,• 1 - ! ' ' ' • . . .e.... ..,,,,,„.....,.., :... -, A ,,..,.._„. , i'' _ - ; :r- ......',•wiN. fr.4 7 . ‘ -- ..., / ^4p.. . • r, , -_,,_' l ',• , ;-!: i I 1 . A FINE 'ASSORTMENT. - • glgr Wat es ~ clocks, and Fi n e Jewelry re-., n paired on short notice a. d 'warranted. Fine Engravingidone. 113834:i In MUM DRY GOODS:ND MIN NOSE ,Q-U . TONII : 011 -1, R9SE.NnAU'ilfit &-, CO., „ • . , t . Is still in Montrose, being established nearly a quarter of a century. and intend to be Limber. Art carrying the largest and most complete Aisortment of Dry Goode, Deady:Mader Clothfue, ,se., a c... of any other firm is the County. Ouffacilities for buying inl ige quantities of first hands by the original tus,kapet‘, ana) Y hrtilugg resident buyer constantly in the mark t,is such,that it makes it almost an impossibility for soy new or.old dealers to conipete with us in prices. ! • I , Id. S. Degroner.llavitig just returned from New. York with a, large stork of scasim:.ble goods. houghtfor cash at the most favorable rates, prices being so tempting - that he bought heavier'thUn usual. and mostly at large Auction Sale's. IWe will, an and shall sell them at'astontabingly low figures. - , ' ' ' . i ,DRY GOQDS, , CARPETS, MILLINERYAIiD d 'FANOT GOODS, LADIES' AND GENTS' YURNISHIN Gool* . ' Leyet -INIE et ell e 40 1c• t li. 1 22. g ci.. , A • . • OF our own mannfs tnr ~ e and well appreciated for its superior workmanship • I • • Cloths; Cassimera adu -uitlnp, for Custom Work. Measures ..tl4ken and rerfect titling guaror ! reliable goods told that will beer trecomniendation. Price list furnished cavappliratteu Our ctP ill say l'or one and all, that we def. competion. Respectfully yours, ' - GUTTENBU ROSETTBAIIPI Co. Flee lot ,* teed. Only! tom. We ~Apdb 19. Wt 6. 319nOose • - ; A. MINER.!BINGHAMTC tsf , f ' . , • • . o WHOLESALE DEALER LIS .- : • 1 . • BRONZE LA UPS, OPAL LAM S; ALL GLASS LAMPS. TiAND . LAMPS! BURNERS, wicgs, STIADtS, SHADE 1101.1)E11s. &c., '&c. EVEIRY STYLBOP FLINT AND:COMMON ;:BP*OIAL; INDUCEMENTS • ALSO *ATTUFACTURiR .OF Titer .a5..x433 af"23):Esa.rrisrieno w.A.re a. Prises Guarafnteed ate Low ess anylrouie i» Seuthern New , Yark. Addireni by Mail TioniptlY Ationded. To. . March laws. S . : 111N1H. 111Q011(50113 PRINTING 1. sio:eoUili34ll,7- : pair. material to our pflicr. Mind our a. Large Stock I nf JOB TYPE y and Ton Printlug Presses, we DAY 001110pet1011 ut - roi**, dui/Aria - i :IVfit* !,H I . 2 z • •'4 ' Y ' ibstelliiiijtiii: l 4d*orthiei3iiiiis. Prreett Imes. =%-AT- Facts Better e, Tlfan Fiction! OUR STOqK cOMPRISES - AS. US If Al, WC., &C. Highest torice. and' guaranteed. GEO. L. LENHEIM. MAT.HUSHEK AND CtIICKERING George Woods & Co's mosiezermr eti 00. Par AND OTHER ORGANS. J, F. BRONSON, AG'T, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL. MUSICAL MERCHANDISE Of all DeScrlptiolis: BREET 3113510 2 1 INSTRUCTION BOOKS, Brick Block; •- ';fillkltiTßOSE, Pa. • March 2241,1876. - • • , AT TAE E.,113t3 FAT !RATES etc., etc., et.i. . H. S. DES'SAUXII, Managing l'artirr. ilAwisix a 1870 jiQUit•
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers