„
tit/
V% I:.i:v.".P-'''';
,`:-.*'. illittelro 44P •
1
°lrt
The New Yankee Doodle.
Ya4tee Dtkeidle cabs o°4on
' Oft bis .
Opened wid his 4eislto see" ,
Vow timado vary ;
Telegraphs in the, air,
' •11.orse-cars roll round You,/ ,
.Steam engines carry you off, ,
And all things do astound you.
Yankee Doodle took a car, . ' I• \
• Thought he was a goner,
TpoktheOiAtetyciao
And stopped' every corner;
"Peck take me if I don't
Think it's rather
Trav i iin, in the air like'this, ,
Though it makes you frisky.'!
•
Yankee Doodie l ll77 \ lt girl - •
Wearing of a pull bask;
'rn-iny, bp ttups, it' Ohat ain't
t3o.tei
Cornstalks twist her hair, ^• •
Ribbons run round her,
Striped stockings end her up ;
Wonder whfre 'they toundjier
•
Yankee Doodle went to church,
. Heard a woman preacher ; •
prefer
To inYstieli bold creature.,
False hair on her hetid,
How she'll roar and holler;
. Bet sue thawed her husband - up,
A shillin' or a dollar."
MitrWrwaliknuys .= itle r xic4n Ong.
I bought the horse at auction ; they called it
a "Mexican plug."- I. : ..diti.not,kno.what that
was, hut supiiiised i w s all t fight = , .(Th6 broth•
er in-law of the auctioneer took nie; to one side;
and said "Now, I could cheat 3i,on;lint tWOn't ;
I see y4tiare ic.stranger. thattorse,is.
genuiji" 4"lleXican: plug,' 'and; besides, he can
but buck' anyibing in'the country."' I did not
knoW, what "bucking" • WaS,bat I wanted. a . horse,
that could excel to something, so I bought ban.
The riataf,ernoon 1 tho4ght 1 would ride. hitn•
bio
so I Ught . bintout t aid 'two men held his
. head and another' nian•'l4elds him down to the
" ground by his tail and' I mounted, andjust,as
soon as they let ;g6 that horde brought all his
Peet together ins blind, and loWered his back,
and'Suddenly elevated. it, throwing me:some
feet in the air. I' went' • straight up and came
straight down again and tagaitti •This.time I lit
on thepeclt - of - the anitnal and lung fast: Then
he rose on filnd feet acid went'throngh , with
, all the gymnastic perforinanceS be"•kneW of, and.!
finally ended by throwing me up again, and
while I was in the air 4.,hesrd..sone one 'say , .l
"Alt, how he bucks!" SO that Was "bucking."
Before I got down some on.e hit that horse, and
when I.got down
.he was . .not there., - Plenty
friends gathered round tO , Offer nie:sympathy.--
They id* - 01:do wl n 4oeWant, , :to,he alene.—
I wanted to sit sown. and I did sit down, and I
was so sore and . bruised and shaken' I put one
hand on my bead, the other on my - stomdch,and
it Iliad sixteen bands I could have found plates
for them. One friend said,l "Why you might
have lipown,,he „was ‘, ".nothing,
_hut. agexican
plug." 'YeakieViit. 'anther,:
..you cculd'see`'l.hat:o4‘ animal - 'Yes,
that was what r l bought him,for,"
?, •
marklii - pml4 . tohith
- Aid Mark Twain made, ibis mind that, he
must marry, and that no one else bin that par
ticular girl rphtld il bi Mrs 4 •.14,sekabout
ot
that crrisblic ,io 14s twat slow, de4teratii,
drawling fashion, because `liark\`Twain, in the
conception and execution ~ of. ev,ery, : piece, of bu
' slaw, rate I r above the mere literary adven
tiro.. He is a man of inscrutible 'depth.'He
goesift?ritis garne in the most extraordinary
• fashion: ue drops on' it), and makes his pointi
-as he dbes his stories ihla 'manner and'from a
direct*. least expected by the lookers'on.
there was a father , to be 'Won as weli as
the girl, and the father-in-law bad to be carried
• first, like theyuter parallel in a :dine of defense,
The failier-in-law was iinmersed in business-
He 'haqn't much time to think or familly mar
ten, atlast it occurred to him that. Mark
had bOOme very; frequent at the house, and
that his objective Point seemed to be the daugh
ter.• So he called Mark 'aside, one day, and
said : Twain;you seem to be paying at
tenth:4. to my alatightei; low we all like,
you pretty - Well, you - krio*,arid we are of course
acqßainta lath ,yont - ' f reputation
I, as a literati
man. -Stilt regpecti you ate astrangiii`
to us, and some relerauces as' to rour;tharacter
,
and standing . *bh .4 .ityrt ! may/
reasonable," slid Mar . Mar Very lialttral
and pateftial.qz .It?..44uSt what 't Should "do acre
rin yonr.position. guess" can give you some
names that satisfy you. Now, there'ilfr:
Uoodmitn of the Territorial fEntOrkise. And
there's ly,,,,Pßecterick McCrellisit of the Alta
California.. 4. 1
- au Write to ttietn. guess they'll
give inc a good character,. I - guess 4hey wju,
lia for me. I've done tile, antne 401 . 4kpmwhen.
evar's reuqisition has been made upon
But. Martirinfrie4lt6 girl 'notwithstanding:
4111 ,
The BrPoWle: jefersonia,n is responsiblefor
the report" th'st ' B.—T.-1869—X? • frescoer
mistook" theear of a .Clarion: sirl for a barn
door, and never discovered' his. errors until
'was putting the lualshilig - ;41?de.i. - 9kt- - .o‘e;"Xt
when /I.2v9iee,.procee4ed from the gable end
of the ii c lriettlar; Terbonstrated': " S top per
foolin' with,Oat'.
We've got water, w0r„k.5.. , 4p4
. heee now, turd
don't sweep put our ears an)•more."
d ,
Why 'tvma b Jan -animAl,of a ,convi
vai dispositioil3 3 / 4 4. 1 "46:11e' , ,0ffera: torh' _to
3 '1: 1 !
Ja4.l. • ; _ • ; ,
•
•
right--a QII - an expreFe
• Tzei
owirt.Mlf
;xia 1,444)
rovw
~~-=~.==
tri----.061 At Aid , ,Ifftee
_ 741 1 & \ , k50,1-1"4.-Disolpaled bi'nd.
,
One night during the ;..iiicehV troublesin - the•
PennsylVania eoil.regions, JOdge Pott's broth-
Thomas PottS, was found at a , meeting of
mine-owners, .411,.4erlithc adjOhniment he
ifikAl into a *rein • ' , ; : While tillerit, he met
some friends, and 'hi - the course of an hour or
two he got, very , intoxicated. .
---Orr-hia'w\y home he lost his liat, antt a hik
er i vho knew hint, feeling compassion tor him,
clapped on his head.. tv, miner's hat ; and in or
tleilcf,Make 'the dark street look brighter he
lighted the lamp
. in front cif the hat. Whei.i-
Potts reached the house his wife had gone 'to
bed and the lights; were,Outi but Potts felt:Cer- .
taiti the lainp was bnrhing in the ball, but. he
e.ohldn4 for tile hie Of him tell where:it Was. .
looked : ,at the regular lamp. and it seemed
to be out ;- then, hunted in every direction 'for
the light, but he was unable to find i / t, although
it seeined to shine brightly wherever he went.
PrOeittlyr he happened to - stop in front of the
mirror- in -the bat rack, and thcn 118 saix`pre-
Cieelywhere the.' light , waa ;After' a - brief 6b...
jurgation •upon Mrs. Pottg fOr I.•aVing a lightfin
such
,ai.lace,he went, up to the.mirror and tried
to blow it out. He blew and blew, but-B.mo
-419w the flame burned aaSteadiras before.
"That,'. 'said Potts; "is the most extraor'nar
aathplS ever been my. mkortune t' ericounte:r:
Then he took ice his coat. and holding •it it
trout of him crept cautiously up to the mirror
and tried to crush the coat over the latnp which
still•burtied,bribghtly. He said -•
.!`gbat's ceriiOlY . .verY extrenary I , inoz!stim
ishing,eireuinstanzever icome un'erniy obzer
vation. Don'tto:..iow ecount fur it !"-
- It occurred' to hint• that perhaps he might
smash the lamp with an umbrella. , . Seizing the
'he; went up to:the hat, and aiming a
blow-at Jhe light he brought the umbrella down.
He missed, and ,smashed - his 'Sunday hat into a
chaos.' He tonlvaim again; and caught theNum
brella in _thelamp
.overhead, bringiag it down
With •a crash. Then he tried a . third time, and
. Plunged the ferrule- of the umbrella. through the
Mirror, smashing it, to atoms ; be felt exidtant
for a moment as thellight disappeared from Lis
vision, )17]tt he was perplexed to find there Was
. anotber light somewhere, he • did nbt know.ex
actly.wh'ere. So he sat down on thestairs . and
rt mar,ked : e •
"Moz' stonishin' eircurnstanz ever, come.un't9r
mp obzervation.V7haten thunder dozi.t mean
Arnow- ?f Light's gone, kn' yet. it's Shrniii )
• • -in s!
Perfectly IncompreAs gram
POtted, : . Wikke-itp - an': ; splain
know what tlifiiid getter, o."
Then Putts' 040k:off lila hat 'to- scratc' bis
head in the "hope 'might -stare up
idea, and thelrutli*ltished upon him.. dazing
at the himp totes 'moment; until he drank in.a
full;concentlen the trouble ,it had causedbitn,
he suddenly stosulll 0 ,
it down on thelleobt,lnit
rage, and , atinguished it after enverinkiiwii
yards , ot Carpet with greese. Then he went to
bed, and in the morning Mrs. Potts informed
him that soul() of those awftil miners had bro
ken into the house the night before and left one,
of their hats with . 8 lamp. Potts turned over
in bed so that she could npt, see his face, and
said if the stern hand of the law wasn't laid upi
on those ruffins 'soon nobody's life would be
safe.—Green Mounkin Freeman.
•
Minei j fadder vas aliDutchman, and my mud
der a Duchess. • ,
Dbey 'keep a 'sassidgeflfoUndry in der oh!
coundry.
I
Dhere vas a man in , der moon—how many
vimmens got moon-shtruck.
,
, I. dink I vill dhake fl sam h I
andwieh. l'
Der reason why der boys dond got dermit
ten so ranch now, vas because der ' kala dopd:
can knit,. • - , • • ,", I.' : , 0 - 4
s v
Dh. der
ere. a three sexes ; der tuale• 14'
~. • sexy
~,
male sex, und'her insects. -.
''
Der pells never rind for fire, dhiy only'rini
for Vassar.
! ~ i
.
A ' 1
A. vomans look her boy to aluneral voneei
and told him der he would been goot,le eOuld,
kiss der corps.. .;
•
Day behint yesterday vas Wallington's vas*
day. -' ; . ,
e,, • ,
1 dark vasfif vhere I do now, 0 1. vas mo?f
der vay cross :on de • same side; a leedle lower
Alb: , -I
Der man vat • throwed. me dot hat off vas
A rolling shtone vas der root of all
Gif me a sheet of ink, und a bottle of papek
Efery voman's tongue. vas`' called a shpeech
'organ ;
,does yoost- vat ,I dink, butit dond
yeme•shtops, too.
nDo d inn eferY, peohies yoost pat dhey vus
hobs] mit you.
Dond you link dot does cidies,exbresily dot
Nrester n towns_ vtiefe dhere Vis a greater
ber of yip - 414ns Und'child.rens as di:kers itt.s
habitants dot der towns vas more bigger , as dtr
shinaller>placeaof der same size, dot contatua*
ireater rouiaber, of po r pulatione Y ;1,
"0n1y.4 15)4 of golden•hair,"; : )
The lover wrote, "Perchance to night
foreneth'on her pllloiv fairi • -
A halo bright !"
"Only a loeit of golden hair,"
The maiden aruiliag sweetly. said,
And laid it on the back of a chair
I - And went' to lie& • •
,
traveler came down to 'Abe wharf just Ss
the ,'etcatuer had - left, ayd ;It - was a grievous:4 7
appointment to White ruminating- .
stranger, inquired if fie Wanted to get aboard
``Certainty," sald be. • •
`'Then - take Oiie , off that feaere,!'„‘Vas the con)
An vb.], bates the- male se4.incist
veheirently,, N eut a fonalt
,acquatutanee uito
cona"plim +anted her on Abe buoyancy of her 61)1 1 2-
it?,.
. - 3,t
t is the ittrgests . 9o);A A th . :Sirsh
guage:l) ffirittiifteeause - ?_thiedtis sea ge hi ;
.
toy#en.: - .v the first and : last letters. •,
4 , , ' j ,
MAI
• . rretzels.
lAzno.aolvio surr
THE D
Cook Stoves Itabges s Heat-
. ,
; 1 ~
TIM"
. .
. .h.ON '
1 . : •-i!
•
is the namc of a new;Cook stove, just outs containing'
a lid
prineiplo in baking, and is destined - to tasked
revolu ion in the construction of cook tores:•; Come
in and see it. .."; • • `
As a heatin
durability al
midget uatu;i
\
Te take sp
and Retail
tide tbne bn
. • OUR
• •: • • 10
And we de
money.
fall line
nays of eve
STONE WARE. - -2:', . . .
Chnrns, ii • .
Flower Jars, Banging Rots, • Churns, • utter Jars,`
Preserve Jars, Jags, StoVe Tubes, .tc.
' 1
BUILDERS LIA.RDWARE. -
Butts and Screws, Locks A i nd Knobs, Latcheti, Catches,
Doors, Sash, Blinds, Glass, Building Paper, .White
Lead, Zinc'. oils, Varnishes, Paint Brushes, Spirits of
Turpentine, Paint •cf any shade desiretla Also colors
for mixing ;paint. I -1 • • I
1 '
BOLTS.
A hill assortment of Plilladel.,hia Carriage ilolts,and a
fall line of Emu Axles, Bar iron, Horse Shins, Nails,
Rods, &c.
1
' ,
i
I • ' ' * NAILS. •
.. I .
'We purchase in Oar-load lo ts, therefere can sell to the
trade in le t s quantities ius cheap as any hOuse:in the
city. - 1
W. IL BOYD, l J Hi COR'WIN, I' J. lt , COOLEY.
, lfobtrou, March 15, 1876. - '
• ,
STOVES, TIN, COPPER & MEM.
IRON WARES, ROUSE TURN
ISFIJNQ ,GOODS, AND BUILD
ERS :HARDWARE, 40., , .
. ,
BLANCHARD: ; . BARTLETs . 00. 1
SASH, BLINDS,. D9ORS„iWIN—
BOWS, CORNICE MOULD—
INOS, 86(1. 5 ,
.1 .
'which we will sell at Blanchard, Bartlet el e Co's Wits
NAILS, SCREWS, LA.TO HES, SUTI
SASH I AND 'BLIND FASTEN
ERS AND r HINGES, HOES,
FORK SHOVELS, RAKES, -
WIRE ? GOODS,
Special inducements on . Pane, Palle, Conlen• and al
Daiirying Goods. . •
s Vii:
R9N CLAD, FIRST PIIAMIUM,
• ILICL,PAgS
OTSE ),QQIaI47.Ir,,I4IT,MBER, rLA
UnSurpaßsed for, Style : 'and' Dtirabifity.
•
• - •
We have recently aced to out seletitep of StoTer
THE' CENTENNIAL COOK - ' •
made by Rathbone, 'Bard & • Albany N. and the
&wand Base . Burning Parlor Co„ gtove; And ;Cunard Cook
Stoves, manufactured'lby Perry &Cit,4 Alban; N.Y. , We
ealso ke p the celebrated
DIAMOND BASE B'UItNING• AND
FAARLESS'POOKING Sti'cOVES.. ,
Rathbone, Jewett & Ransom, Ranges,: with . Copper
tteservors anu Nitk - te Mountings of the latest improved
patterns. Repairitigi, promptly' - done and orders 'for.
•
jobbing solluited: ,• -
-` • HAYDEN* At CEEMENTtit.
New Milford, Mayl2ll. 18'15.—tf.
1
17zi.c19isteio1.Jaage., ,
Th# lind (
17114. T r
} r
Mi nee
to, Batif
...... -.........
I r f
F , . ,
...t VIOTA,
iendsville, Pa.. tPril 7,1815. ' /Sella
. ,
,',1,4)1 ..., ..vtwilflaA , A sii I ii , . 4:4 , '' V. ,'.#
_
MOuRAT,i, APRIL :26, - 18
le '
ho'n,
EW 'FLUME
J!
NEW ' GO ODS,- -
;:: ' ' ,•,
, .
-{
• r"
-41's ••
"i••
11.,-„BOta-:&,iCo4,
•
P 300019108 TO 800 & COBWRij
I=l
' • •
DE &LERS IN
1340 . 11p , i700..
.' . (!; . 7:1 . - •.: ;:,' . 2:-,
THB : 4I.eGAND,
stove staadd w.thout a, rival, in henatY,
hd economy: Coale and_j-atisfy : , yourseg,
es ol partied now',using them. •
•
TINWARE. •
'pleasure Ir. offering to the Wholesale
I rade, our desfrable euf)ply of Tinware. We
the best•of Charcoal platee..
WORKKENi ARE EXPERIENCED !
SICYLES LEE. FAULTLESSI4 ' .
I. GOODS ARE WABRAWEED:
y any to pOuuce 'better goods for lest!
LAAIPS.
t Lamps of beautiful design, Also Chim
ry
HAYDEN & CLEMENTS,
Vpalers in
/toots for
(Join HA 1: OM, Geueral , Agent)
~, ...:
at cure t etc. yi
• r ,^ r
'NEW PRICE S ,
n==
01 4**4
Specialhy'
slam,
5 . ' ,3 / 4 tte.Wit4t.
1. • - •
Miscellaneous Advertisements,
•., , t .
. A ,
li • „ rt-. , ..: f Wean? Cartitad
32,1143Ara' .
1 , ' (11
t t ts
•••
l't - •
,
• Has intit . ret\irued from Ne* Yorluwith a large and complete asaortmeot of
• , .
DRY GO-OD-Sy i-OLOT E(dOT.S S
2• , .
. . • .
. , .
• -
Mats: ai'd~
10-apS, -Notions,. &d &d
r :- - • •41 *9
• IRA -• •
•• • ' ;"' <.% • - .• • •
• •' ';': 'lO • .*:t, •
„hOeti large I
• ••
remain 'here Ain til oar: e*
• •x-
,41./iICK , ' , :§T'Q t • IS COMPLETE ONS THE •OLD GROUND..'
• •
- -
fi, , ,
Otti stock ittid :bcing4t heretofere, offer the jargeat
asaar~mgu and best, bargains the - county, • • •
- -
Crar:Biltter:itud PrOtWe sbipped.,'High •
prjeprice.and prompt . returns guaranteed.
Monet Eidiiiu`pedi when d4ired;
• GEO.: .14•EMIEIht.
•Gre4t teu'd 1.05.
.ki[igiToiiol,blo . - f •
J. F....,:•.8RQ.NT50N'.1S
MUSIC Z - JEWEInt 'STORE
:!.. J t... .~ ~
~`, A LAItGP4 i t SOORTMENT
,OF
GOLD A'N 173
A 3.1E1,46 A N
WATCH S &FOREIGN,
. ,
AN ENDLESS' iTAIII,Vii OF CLOCKS
36 1 ,! I ii‘TE, : 117.PW,IEZ3—e1 = L"Ir.
, Of al) * beseripti(;ris.
ltr,W GOODS- CO.tSTANTLY ItWVINP.
- • -1' • '
GREAT REDUCTION. 1N PRIC ES
A .k1.14.* .ASSOIiTMENT.
far' %Vat - ekes, Clocks, and Fine Jewelry re•jE3
paired on short notice ;and warranted. -.
Fine Engraving done.
11384. 1 . ,
Facts Better Than Fiction!
THE POPULAR DRY tiODSrin COMB NM
• .
- 1 ~- -, .. . .., i' - - • • .
GUTTENIMIIG ' .ROSENRATTAI &.-- CO.,
~.
•,, . ,
.. ~
x.....ti1l id iiontrosei being - established nearly a quarter of a century), and int,end •to be toot her .: ; Arc carrying the
largest and most complete:Assoftmmt, of. DryT Gdodti, Retidy-Made,sitotbine, itc:„A c., of any other firm lathe
County. Our facilities for buying in large qnantitius of first, hates' by the °right? Flu kages; anti I y.having a
resident buyer constantly in the market,is auch,thai it makes it altnort tinjuip(tfa!dbilit) for avy.vew or oldftealers
,•-, ,
to compete with us in prices. . .
Id.: S. Dessauer,liaring_just returned from New ,York with a• large, Proik - of sessonsbie good's, - bonghtfor
cash at the most fayclable rates, prices being so .tempting that ho bought heatqq than usual. aud..mestly at large
W
Auction Sates'. e 'M I!, can and shall sell them at astonishingly la* ligitres . . •' - '
COMPRISYS
- „
. „„ " ' • •, - • • •-.
DRY GOODS CARPETS,- MILLINERY :GOODS, LADIES'
AND G.ENTS'... : II,TRNistINc4:Goons. • ••, •
~~
:~
Xi. -tpl',opoi .4. 37.' ....3iE - E.v.11 fits
t g
) •: 1 :1 .• ; . 1 • •-
Of:OUT own kaannfactu re and lerollapproplated {MYits snperioi workmanship
'.IIATS, • • CA.l%*
•
Fine lot of-Cloths i Cassimera sad FuithCgsi •ftir Onetdin' Work:!i ' , ldes:surest taiien 4 snd perfeelliting guaran
teed. Only reliable goods sold that will bear trecomtnpndation. fOrnisbi.itOn'aiiplieatlan a* Oar cgs"
tom. we•w4ll,:sayhr,:onewid thatwe deffiximpetiofi. • ReSpectinliy yonrs'••• -
•
GtrTTENBUROv ROSEIVBAIIII &, Co.
• •
„
Partner.
t .
, .
• • .
•
' ..-t, • •, •
ntiosP.; Ax, 7 130878. 130878. , •
•
k 1.1 ;Ail *.;;' , -11 , , •,. , ~..: ' >,.t,,i -I, sii;• ,-, -
' - tiolL' , •4.,,..•,,5i.1 di 1...•*_ ~,t).. k, , ..,,, : , .
~,/ .
K BkNGHAMT . M ".
pC,‘ y r ,
1 t - <, :“.:. ) • ..., , , .
, - ._ • • „ , ~ „. • „ ; i f, .. ..• I t , • " ~
t• ! I.''‘i:•:l . '''' .' '" ' '''
initittsAstbifitacalx 4
, ...••,,, i rv,;,. ,
„, :
. . 1-4,• YJ ,:. A
-13110NZELAIIPS,- , .OPAL LAMPS, • '-ALti r'-'l , O ;ASS. Lip IPS ~i.l A glii LAMPS,
, - •BUANERS,..WICKS; SHADES - SHADE, J49ii - atui6 .. ,
:...
e, .- _..,, :!.') fl;.11 _,, ,, ,i ~ ..i , 2,-,.- . .fi *-..T
..,, .---- ~-,., ,
•.
-. tl ,, 4 i') if I . 1 . . "
LITUDV • NI
~ ~
,111 1 Mat ii:Dtitaig , OF , -FLINT::‘ i\ ..., , ' ' ' I
'A li(Oliill1011k111111111‘11'
,:„.„,,i,„ , ~ ‘,...: ..,,,, -.7..
till
tic;
:; 0.4
' ' • 4
/ • ., • .1. 174°11 7 A1:11a11:3373
Guar`Thew fPlecifa - 40-'caaniThntie in Southerik'
- •
t ; - • •
Y . I!fiqkk P roFLlPtir A..tt4pikdc4 Tel
Address
'4014 - rimolrlitscr
" iteriii
~ ..°4 ,::1 It.? - ', •'.. °.. , , i _••• . , f h'.. , ;
~ .. . ~
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J. .F. BRONSON - AG'T
MUSICAL MERCHANDISE
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SHEET MUSIC, 'INSTRUCTION BOOKS,
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Brielk - MONTROSE, Pa.
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