Newspaper Page Text
When Mr. Terrence UeFadden , .\ of
Honesdale, L'a., -died . ," his widow inade
raffte plAieribousethold.gpot2l4 Oitt, of,all
the cl.illectfoicratley'Ciiillt:i4rev,i fi!th
weeks-old - ,1•411.Y.i.Pat ',Agility saw noth.:
ing,extraerdivary in the goat t
IKffort ,t lit4= &en •ti Meniber
cif ;;hi :rattily daVti--;iff;blittedi' the
baby down cedar, ate up, the week ;a wash
-that was spread'On tlorgrasS , antl climbed
to the top Of a fifteen•foot board,, pile
Nhen Mrs. Conley came :lout -at with
the clothes pounder, and looked
down at,,her as it Chewed the last ruffle
on a nightgoivii....,DOSey* hlelieart
the kid and took it übderi his special pro;
Jection: He' narned,it Beelsebub, ~; • !
.• As Beelzebub:increasec . in size and age;
„he made, it extremely, lively for the Con
ley neighborhood. He was always ready
for a fight v and-would ,eat,-anything that
he came iiornss. . He winild go a mile out
Avt. , his waY. to :lunch off ,a,door inat„, and
it'would nbver dq..to hang a carpet:out;
especiillY delighted 'in:misting school '
d .children over in- the - street, I and eating
their lunches,,books, and satchels.
the, people' got; 'ont himor
-with Beelzebub, and they told Patsey he
, had better keep him •in. So to "tied a
long rope to one of 'the goat's legs, ami
'fastened' him.to:a post. But ,Beelzebtal
'ciaietly butted the post '.down and then
deliberately proceeded to take in • the
rope. He swallowed it up to , his leg, and
,on that , when - Pataey
.covered him, and cut the rope,
Mr. COnley was obliged' to give Beelze
litib a hollnlay now and Alen. On 'one
. of these, lastssummer, he wandered down
by the. river„side. Two boys were in
and Beizy 'recognized in-one
of thein 'a boy who had a few days before
fed him a pack of ,lighted fire crackers,
;The . goat walked - leisurely
,up: to the spot
f•Where the boy's clothe! lay, and 'ate up a
pair of pants and t shirti. Every
:Vale the boys made 88 if I they were com
ing out at him" ho pqt - himself in the
"-shape of a buck deer sign, and they went
:back.. He kept tie boya in the water
4" . On another - of his holidays, a,few ,days
;41,g0, Beelzebub ,acquired an accomplish*
iraent which for a time .gave the most Un
iitigated pleasure to his master. La
;borers were engaged lin enlarging a cut
"On a railroad a mile down the track.—
The goat, hearing the none of \the blasts;
• .went to see if there , was, anything in the
job for him. > Some Of themen- lived 'a ,
long distance away, and *carried"' their
- dinner with them. The bright tin lunch
pails standing here and there along the
track struck the eye of Beizy. He smelt
• of one, 'pranced about it awhile, and at
last with one. grand butt; Out it flying
. down , the track, scattering its contents
along the route, aud i giving it the appear
s ance of flattened oyster can.
The result of this so delighted Beelze-,
• hub that he forsook all other pleasures
and laid in , ambush about the cut, watch-'
ing for dinner pails. Patsey becam&
- aware of his amiable pet's new diversion;
and daily bore himl company to the spot
' to enjoy the fun. ,By and fby the men
took to hiding their pails, and Beelzebub
grew morose and low-spirited. One day
last week Patky and his . pet walked
down to the cut, Beelzebub seemed
more than usually sad. He hadn't seen
d'ditiner 'pail in some days. Suddenly,as
they neared the cift,Beliy became strange
ly elated. ,Ahead of them, near the track,
stood a pail. It" was': a beauty, and had
,been placed on a stone, .affording a splen
' I did mark for the goat. fatsey rolled on
the ground, he felt so-goinl. teliy fairly
, gloated over the prospect,. He .stood
within 'a few paces of the pail. rear
. ,ed up on his hind legs and Pranced about
, -in a perfect frenzy of joy. 'He shoOk his
head, and made several feints of bearing
,down,on the pail, ai if revelling a while
fin sweet' expectanCy. Presently 13elzy4
vraltzed . back a little further..• He threw
. • his head 'down, arid with a bl-a-a-t that
• ;expressed all, tbe unadulterated cussedness
his`natUre, went*for that pail as, fhe
'had been shot ont (41:teal:mon. He struck
,it like a battering ram. - There Was- - a
• • sound of. a thuader clap, land by 'the
Pieces - of goat, - _luck" .and earth that fell
thickly abdut, Witsey knew that Beelze
bub had been deceived* and would never,
never butt dinner pails more. Belzi-had
butte a caw° nitro-g ycertne
'Mr tow Newton's Imitator.
- , old Keyser found Cooley's boy, the
'other day, standing- in a very suspic i ons
position under his best apple tree„ with a
stick in ha hand. arid ja_certain_ bulgYap
;pearance about hia. pocKet. Raving se
:,.,cured him firmly by. , the collar, ICyser
.: . ishook him up a,hit , and then asked him
,sternly what he ' was doing there.
"Ain't a'doin' nothin', ,
said Cooley ;
come ; -over yer.to Study : "
• " . That:s ti rely, too thin," exclaimed
`Keyser. • " - '
T, i:rea; is did:: I come over yer to .study
4 -` , about, sie
• "Sir Isaac I ' ,What in thunder do yOri
• 'lLtean, aSyhow ?"- • <
"Why :Sir Isaac-Newton. We had it
in our lesson. was in' an apple of
, chard and' <seen in , 'apple fall, and that
glade biat-invent thetraction of graVitci 7
:Alton, and : I -comei'over yer - to see it it was
"It *mkt do sOnny ” said Keyser. f'Yon
• Are too enthuiiastic about Sir Isaac. And
besides, -- whatlrere - you going-to do. with
that 'etickll,-: ;
"Wittt 011013041 stiOkf?.
Wbat was '!:gohil - to do 'witk , tbis stioki?
,Whyi a boy gave awl.this
...illitO Willie - he . went - Or2'ati errand fur
,iie tont" , ; ' , ._,', *, . ~x ~ •
”And Where did the' apple-core come
froM there on the ground ?" ' ' '''
`That . a Pple,cdre--that--one- lying
there), :The birds is awf(4,o4,.9pples this
season.:T 'seen, a bliabird drop.thatthere
and ft "says to:, mY,O); : 'PIM. . 1 104 are
-j i 0 t ~:r4.1t0 iri' : . Mr, Keysees---apples,• and
webil't Nr.,Xeyser -ke,twful,:mod-z,m hfm—,
"What ; makes your pickets htilge_ out
that ,way ?''' ' ' ... . ... ,-, , ', •
s'-' , ,ggittother made them pants,and they nev
er did set right. Oh, - tho, • ,.bul . gilf place ..I
Wel), a,sj. pottlatep .tiOd. out much about
gir li:i'ac, beri,,l - Vva - 0 just takin' two or
three apples home to see if J. could clis•
cover somethin', and asked father 'to help
nie--Mr. , K.97 . Ber ti . r hat ; are yogg9lug to
"do " 'III' 'never ' take another • 410 e as
=long as I live—'pon my word V'w . qn't 1"
„I• Dietili.eyser logged WM, _and. Mr.
tooleY's boy has knocked off on Sir Isaac
- Newton and -natural pjiilosopny, 'and is
deyoting :himself to other branches of
; knowled.e.. . ;:, : I .' • . , . _ • .
• eb Crtimmet 7 s,Cruse...!
liteSPeiitfully dedicated- . 'the "man
who won't pay the printer."'
May your egga be rotten for breakfast,
your bread mouldy for dinner, and you
go supperless to bed..
May the bed-bugs , pull , the comforters
over your head on hot nights, and walk
.of with every. rag, •of bed -clothes-in the
winter. • • .
May your wife be 'cross;. your servant
girl prU!dish I - and:your neighbor's, ferides
_.• • .•
May your dreams be varied between
the-embraces of crocodiles and the acting
back stop to the hind 'end' of a mule.
May, you have steel filings in your eyes
and be obliged to use chestnut burs for
eye stones.' -
Mayyoli lib' 'speechless .and be obliged,
to stiotq for "cocktail."
May\ the ghosts of starving editors and
printer's devils; 'gaunt, lean and-hungry,.
haunt you constantly. , • -
May your boots , squeak, and run down
at the heel 'and pinch yourtorns terribly.
'May your horse , -be balky, your cow
give sour milk, your chickens get lousy,.
and your pigs' die of the scurvy. .
May your 'creditors - never let up on
you, your friends- be sent to an insane
asylum, and your enemy prosper.
',May your wife go away with a circus,
your business go to ruin, and you go to
—the devil. t
A Model Student.
The - Rev. Di. Ritchie,' of, Edinburgh
though a veil clever rnan, once met
his match. When examining a strident
as to the classes _he had attended, Ihe
said : • -
"And you attended the claim for Math- ,
"How many sides has a circle ?"
"Two," said the student."
"What are they?" •
"An inside an an outside !" . •
The doctor next inquired, , "And You
attended the moral philosophy class al-
"Well•you would hear lectures on vari
ous subjects. Did you evor hear one on
cause and,effect ?" .
"Does ,an effect ever go before -
cause ?" •
"Give me an Instance." -
- . "A man wheeling a wheelbarrow."
The doctor then sat
.down and 'propos
ed no more questions. -
Securing a Situatton.
isq observe by the records that your
name is Henry Clay Greenlaw,' remark
ed His Honor, as a very tall and very
slim colored citizen was pushed in.
• "De same, .sah.":
"It is the Bolenn duty of every colored
mother in the:latid to name h e r. sons
ter Tien ry Clay and her daughters after
'Martha Washington AT ;yon had been
named after a Cnicago alderman I should
have disposed .
. yonr . . case in tyn sec;;,
"Yes; sah." -
"Now then, Henry Ctay and so forth;
you, were found drunk :on a pier, - and'it
pierd,fo me from your general look that
you are not entirely sober yet."
"he frOm d 6 Sout sah, lOoking for a
place in some hotel."
"This court knows no
,East, no West,
no North or South, Henry Clay. You
were found doubled up over a barrel, sick,
discouraged and weary hearted, and - on
the wa,y up here you tried to bite the oft ,
"What I wants - is to gtt a place
waiter," pUt . in the prtsoner. ,
\ "This' court is supposed to be an offices
ofinteligeace, but not an intelligence of.l
flee \ Neverthelesi, I think I can secure
you such al)lace. put you_ where
waiter' : long time before you
chance to eetinebriated again." . •
"No thanks, Henry Clay. I'm going
to send YOU thelsland: - I feel kindly
towa,t& you, and /IS I dOO't VOU tO
shiver, around the streets and'fall into
had.. company I will . se!id you
,over to my
boarding house until the siininier blos,-
soms mike the birds warble little poems
"Yes,:sah. - What'S do, ways, sale
"You can settle that over there. They
have recently. eat , down sallrles and
you must not expect too much." 4.
...,..:2::::•.: . : - ... --- ,:: . :*,...: . ',... ,- ** - moi?... , , ,, r'7.: , - -- 7-7- , r , :.::-• .-- , - '2..-t , ,-7::. - : :.
: - ..so'it,',iiiee ... ::l7lt:ii* s- ' : : ff)04100 . 1'4:- - i : -4 ,4
• 3a " r,r) r 876.
PREPARE FOR WINTER
~ • _ .. , . . , . ,
, i i-,,..,'..W 1 N T~11
Gattedorr i Ronda & Cols.
WOOLEN . 8111.A1WiLS;":Cii0AKINGS,
r . CASSIMERES, BEAVERS: _ .;
• AND CLOTHS,
PLAID AND PLAIN - WOOL AND
MOHAIR DRESS GOODS,
POPLINS,. CASHIM.ERES, 4. •
DRAB TE DES ALPA
CAS, BLACK AND
FLANNELS, - ROSE IBLANKETS
MtARCEILES BED -SPREADS,
WOOL "TABLE SPREADS,
TABLE LINENS, '1 7 14W,-
klargnaaaortinanti and cheap,
LADIES' AND CRILDRENS' MERINO ITNDERGAIt-
MINTS, MERINO AND WOOL DOSL PELT •
SKIRTS, GLOVES, &c.., &c.I ASIA, SIZES •
At G. E. & Co's,
Prices to snit,
MILLINERY GOODS, RIBBONS. PiLOWERS, PEAT)"
ere, BLACK AND COLORED. SILK AND COT
. TON VELVETS. TRIMMING SILKS.
A Ane variety,
DRESS ANS CLOAK TRIMMINGS, LACES, FRIN
GES, BUTTONS, SILK' TIES,: CORSETS, EK
BROIDERIES. ZEPHYR,! WORSTED
AND FANCY YARNS. CAN-
• VASS, NOTIONS AND
Always in great variety, At G. R. & Co a
DOMESTIC GOODS, BLEACHED AND BROWN
SHEETINGS AND SHERTINGS,HCANTON FLAN
NELS, CALLICOBS , DENIMS, TICHINGS
AND •CHEVOTT SIIIRTINGS. AL
A FULL ASSORTMENT
• THE MOST POPULAR
And prices to snit the times
CARPETS, OIL MOTES. MA'S. DRUGGETING
FURS, FURS. FURS,BTFFALO ROBES, HORSE
BLANKETS, LAP ROBES, ac. &c.. , ,
I At G. E. Co'fi
Men and boys' ready-made !nits, is large stock.t%Com-,
plete assortment of best goods,,warranted to give sat-,
isfaction. Prices to flit th e Wet at G. B. & Co's.
OVERCOATS 1 OVERCOATS
For Boys', Yonflifitlnd Men'. 411 eorts. Qualities and
t r c ! , c s es g 8 to euppiy w 1 . 11 Pt JZ7.
•. • . e V ' ,I- , .
.. Our Custom Department. t ..., •
. Dep artment. ,
Largestock of fine cassimeres. ; Clothe and Beaveri.
Measures taken; good fitting and workmanship gnar
anteed. Prices fully 93 per cent. !less than out of town.
Call and leays'yOur measure at 0. 1 it. 4k Cots.
Gents tarnishing goods. Whits and colored ; - cc - ttoh
Shirts, Wool and ,Merino . Wrappers and Drawers;
Flannel and merino Rose, Rnitt Jackets, Comforters,
Ties, Bows, Mufflers. Gloves, Trunks. Satchels, &c.,
&c., the largest variety in town, l at G. R. & Co'e.
HATS! HATS! ! & terst .CAPS
At G. R. & do's
G;UTTENBERG, ROSENBAUM, & COI
• N. S. DESSAUSit, Managing Partner
Montrose, September 29th, 101 •
CARTA; ABBOTT & WHEW
Wholesale and Retail Dealers in
IRON, "STEEL,. NAILS, . BLAC
• SMITHS' SUPPLIES, FARMERS
AND MECHANICS' TOOLS.
owtreatras 164451 a. ckaacium;
TOR CALKS - and CA.LE STEEL, &c,,
BURRETT'S CORN! SHELLER Alir
THE_ IMPROVED BURDICK
'FEED CUTTER. •
tarr-CALL'AND Su ITe. .
TA,R4EL - .1 HOpSy4.
JQUN . TAIJ3ELL,L POR
, • • - : • • • > ; •
• Ririe litilgoa and Hicks (pave this Boutse-liallyteou
neettav wit& the MontrosO Railway, the Lehigh )lalle;,
Railroad. and the R. 1 4 ;'Railroad.
April Ist, 1873.-tr ,
• -; r'' '
At G. R. & Co's
' l ', At Q. R. &t,o's
At G.R. AaCcOis.
At 0. R. & Co's,
87 Wisliliigtou St.,
BINGOAIIITON, N s To
:, • ,
OFPOISITII I#IIIO9UUT UO iiBa
ii.6*liiioE . l,pH,Xii , t..;,
•IL I ZOIIIIKIRP..4 7 .':WaN I2O2- Ard i zt
- f,'""cr:* -- i: I.f! , „ -. 4 I 11 •
Great .. 130ri.cl,
Has just returned from Nei tork with - a
large and complete assortment' of
Hats - And asps &c
10, Large "tetitii - ority, , 7 on - the . National Hotel
. remain - hero until our nevr
eflo r iblit IS' bO/VLBI ' N -ON ' Tag ow.GROW/D.
1h as': t f
grir;itbek. n et tind bstfOght with :care: as .re 4:? ore, ofFer the largest
assortment*- - nd beet bargains in the' , bounty.
I 'Batter and'Protiiioe ttighest price and ppnipt returns -guaranteed.
Sioney advanced when deiirel I
I' Great ,Bend, :Jtily 7t11,1870.
1 6 , S PECIAL INDUCEMENTS IN
#ronsse Lamps„ Opal Lamm-, Mass Lamps, Iland .. Lamps„
Burners; Wicks i lShades; 'Shade Holders,
.Prices u.arcintsed as Loto as any House in Southern New York.
Address by Mall, Vromptly Attended To.
iID EST 508, PRINTING
1„n AT THE LOWEST RATES
We a re continually. itdding -new material to - our office, and with bur
Bot An; Price and Quality, either in Blain Black or Colored Work.
_ „ , •
ExtensiveFarniture Wox iroom you wipAnd tholargest
stock of .
FDIST CLASS AND COMMON
F• ='Tt ri
To be found in , this section of the country, of his ow'
manufacture,,and at prices that cannot tail to give sett.
faction. They _ make the very best
s'ln the Country, and WMM I ' T ,T them.
Qv. ca t 37. "Ow c. r3L
Of *Mende done in the nestsit mekner.
05 3P FL I 'LW Gr. 23 IEI 73 03
OF VAAIOUS KINDS.
PURE NO.I MATRASSES,
I ' AND COMMON MA2RASSES
The anbscriber will hereafter make W., ndertazing a
scialty in his-business. Having Jun compl
State ete a
NEW pe and the meat elegant HEARSE in the i d all
needing his services will be attended to promptly and at
WMI W. SMITH tr. SON.
3fontrose.Pa.. Jan. 81.102.—riob—tr.
1,30Y1).:::* - .' CQAWIN.
-44.-'-:,',4,N-p . i-SHEET:IIO'N: '.:',iVARE,
Thanks to ourPrionds for Past Favors;
iced: 4181 ;
have•,r -6 . - dvioeil our a 7 cen
cent fine Dress Goodei`to.2s
.i)1111.4:,0r,Ca - nto
WIN AL.N37.i: •7' A V*.A.:IVTATIEIE I 'NX7.4ILNUIEL
of . SOB TYPE PAintAtig Presses; we Defy Comepetion
Comerof Maln f tind Turnpike Sts.
• k ,t. - ;1 . 't
asLL* Su~ ,
BINIGHAMT4N N. Y,
iVIIOLESALE DEALER IN
AiSO, • MANITFA.CTUREIt OF
BOOTS & SHOES
AND COMMON CHIMNEYS.
B. B. LYONS. & CO., ,
CARPETS; OILCLOTHS, DRUGGIT,
PAPER HANGINGS AND ENAMEL
CLOTHS, COTTON YARN,
• ' COFFIN TRIM- ,
PLATED WARE, DRY GOODS AND
DAMASK, ALL OF DR. JAYNE'S
TRUNKS; UMBRELLAS, RUBBER
Montrose, January 1,1848.
No. 48 1 1 . E 50 Washington St.,
BINGHAMTON , . N. T.
Would reapectfully call attention to thelaargo
3EP 'N X T TT Xi ZI
which they are selling at froui 15 to 20 per coat.
than heretofore. Ara assortmeat of
PARLOR; ROOM and RITCM M/ 41
Parlor Setts, him $6O upward. Chamber Setts rftat
00 upward. Mattreeeei !rota $4 upward. Pure Wool
Mattresses from $lO to $l5. Oak, - Ash and Waled
Extension'Tables (rem $0 to $lB.
You can do better by pureluuting your goods of us thas
of any dealers in this section of. the country. We win
not be undersoldby any one east of. New `fort City ,
No extrk C ar g 0 for. packing ot r delivering goods at Ile
VIDER '=F iAIING
We destrauto say a word. 'ln this line we have Steles
Patent Casket, and a variety of other styles. Au' i ll
Robes. Shp:aids, etc. -
The hoarse and Carriage ' attached to our establith
=tent cannot. be surpassed to this section. These will
be furnished to those who require. at a reasanabis eg.
nre, anywhere within a radius of twenty Miles crow
this city. (live him a call.
ARlffftlls TAKE. 'ZiOTICII
Bost to rket Prue, paid to cosh, for ' •
RY.E t ! AND OATS,
t.git ji.oittr.Rlo.'atelP -
.D: iOoTi,,Eloporiuten dent.
M nntFri►rei as i 4. WM.—%
Boy f elioote,' at Cheap John's.
.;: W. shall
A. Si MENEM
HAWLNY & CRUABIL
S. It: LYONS & CO.
" OF OUR