The Democrat. (Montrose, Pa.) 1876-1878, February 16, 1876, Image 4
' " °f%ll/110tiCiltile • • ~ ' —7l:4 l tr — t ge 4, , A t midst. "Beira' I'm herer - lie" said to a police maan,upq the,;poiSc.,, pAce,77-!,tkielgjltrniy never come here agin, and view ':-1 'want to soe all I kiV, ,ra ilike)ltelf know if it it011,d4w14e,,, e ' 1.? g4)0"9 Kr l avery 311 ki t il $- 4 1 ' 4ao PipvNitter re : .e the,officer. - , . ' '` • 1 , . `: - ' " 'iltekl efi*te Ai ii ' the liiity Yard ..-:,= Isithete mALO-khere tolsoe ?.,',' ~.- re. , 7 , ~, ,‘, ~, t' #Yekiacklii,AlPal."- -/,'ii, %''''';;.. !",', .:,•,I'' 4 ' "Do you 'spose they'll hang any One_ • thgre, tmllay“?" , - ~,, c, _ , "The Navy' Yard .iiiioli j iie'filacis'iiihere they hang bike," laughed the officer. • .\.• ! APSo 1 • L thO'V- \ Lit it, ya 3., ..,-';‘Woll, .What's the perTormanCet,anyhavv. , -, - .-f‘There sis:',Vo. performance of any sort." "There hikinkrs',-,- the rope ?" ?M,N" ibaoit..gsorner 4 . sprincr'?"--.‘ ‘,‘..1V,e1), it mufet, be a dum queer kna4ry etblaiMed .s,trangef;':c4,f)*ei aps` thoy've 'got' 'a < 'grizzly b'ar :over there r' "Never heard of oner replied the off- "Does a; balloon go up.rt 4Guees not." „ . 'titunder' do they "Whikdoes a feller g 6 over' there A • , ;,',l)on't know what a Navy Sailed the officer. tAres • rittow , vtliat - a kn avery yard iis ,fis well as you .do;;,„,:' , Vve seen thousands of 'em, and I expect to , See' ihoustinds more I. don't caretwO cents - about- seeing this one,, though it they are going to play the Crook'.or have any fun,' I'll take *-look- in: , This NitvyNard, said theo ff icer, is a tlice .where;t i hey build and repair .gov ernmept-shi is, 'store; cannons sup 1 . ! ,-;slqwly in`quired &v . .- : Well it must be a one - horse affair. don't suryotz.e I could eyen getlanYbeer irier4 ere e • c : °' l4 P guess 'no,t;,"' . - • • • , go, Etiia: , the stranger in, iideterinined voice. s•I guess lcnOck *riSund-and -see. if - 't 'run across an i044-02:flint, L.; ..•-;; • e • .4 a* a Finaacjer. The in an , and brothel," - As 'arriving, though by slow degrees, at the techniz cal distinctions Of seCuritie3. With him,, wwiph bis deeply frescool ditiikkis;ittisoltite secittritY' for;c4pit ! al Tested is of higher moment than large,. interest. Thus it was with Mr. Oiesar Smith, itg4TiVrtiieittly.to sis neigh- bor, Mr, Thompson, for a little. advice. • "Mr.,Thompson," asked Mr. .Smith, "wobldloiilend Guff &mei forty dollars if you was me ?"., 1 'What security c blii an ‘'off4r .?'-' "A mOrgide: l "A mortgage. Why, what, has he got to mortgage ? " - ‘l3aoa.svhat bodders me, Mr, Thomp son. I know he don't own nada but de ibids'Olitis back."' - -1 • - then",' hoW dui:he give you .a . - • "Ries the queshun; 'Mr. Thompson. - r o, he cant do it, and I's made up my 'Mini ilia he can't nava di.: money unless he gives me his note of -hand." 'The ''Value orljp!itacation. , :, Jake "Vas heard caling across the ferCe to his neighbor's son, a Colored youth 4cho goes to school' at the tla to colorill university : . . it. "Look: hyar. boy, you, oes ter ,school, don't yer r , . 1 • ,- ~ ..-ayes. s ir'' replied the , boy. 1 - "Gitlin' eddyks.shun, ain't yer?" - "Yes, sir."' - "Darnie'fithmetiC:kandi fikerin',,on a slate, ?" . . "Yes, sir." I • it 'aeon% take two itrhoie daYB, to tnake.6 hour, do it -?" =. "WY , no.r c xelaintiect. the V g y. • , "You.was gwine to bring . dat hatehit bank.in an hour, wasn't yer ?" • !`An'. it's bin two" days'sence you bOr pwed. igood's edkashun -'seine ter do you _thick skulled 13ggers *hen yOr go An :100°1' a whole year, an' iie t n Oan't_tell:, - hOtkr long- it takes to foteh lifta it-hatnhei ?". • • Tl 4 boy got mad and slupg the. hatch! it over, the lanceand half way , t,hte4gh barrel.. I “.Siriiisaid a fier c e: "do you .on yonieoleiniti oath, declare thiiis"not yorir r' "I, reckon - not,” was-the : poi rply.ciliDoes it resembleyonr. hand -writing ?" 4 "yes, think :it don'o7 *Do poi swear that it dbu't resemble , , Tour,' bindwiiting old *lead:" . your solemn oath that this writing does not resemble pities singled etter ?" sir," "Now Abow do.: yOu-i.know 'Cause I oan't **W." , , ; 'iziataru-tfroji.thel),.esraserticet *net 6D:ildence. a ' tlier4l„ . ; • hapPitivoal) ugaCie.l wit a9~l P!nu Arworthy Kentueltv,formervbeing oak a Is ;‘lstoiffirf; )11h*:on±a.44:#iyiiiiti .bunt her own hive." Pon?t . illy one walk E Wanted tobe an Editor.' . - "Have von bad any experience 'in.' the basinasEt?" we asked, of a verrlant-lookl ing youth who. applied for an editorial position The ,other,,,day., ~'-',,;, ‘,5,,, : ~ rit ...,:-' "Haven't Aionght ?eieplied - ; . tis he shoved. one febt; . .oiiAer - ,hiS„,Chair , tO'hide thettinskiliftil patching of a .backwoods cobblem ".reitcolia say I'dluid Seine ex- Pe riene,oo,veti't= I-dorrespOnde4 lyith- the PurnPkinville - Seiiiitger for Six weeks ? Hain't that experience-enough,?" -, "That Fill do,,yory, well, we rePlig, -"but' i,Vlteit,' , Ave, 400: - Ipt0 tan g men on our editorial 'staff,`Ave generally put them through an examination- - How much, are twelve,tintes one?" ..' - ,„ : ~ ~ "Twelve! -Why; any'litile l 'hOy (nlit to an--" "Hold on, pieaSe—don't be too fast:— who discovered America ?" :- ' • - '' :"Klumbus I. - Pshaw, them::- questions is just las easy as---- ~ , ~. .... _ '-, 'Who was;the first man V' -•- .. - . •- • - "Adam: . 'Why; Mister, I kiviw all—" "What was his other iiame•r,F7 - , "His -other'ifetrie'P - Why' '; he - didn't have`none." "Yee ; he did. Yon see that's , ;where we've 'got • you. His . other name was Ebenezer--Eberiezer Adam, Esulate -of Paradise. Nobody knows that but ed itorsoind see to - it that you don't tell anybody." ~ , , , , 1 • lie said' he VOuldn't. _' ' ,` ':' ,tiOw tiiiiny .- boikes . are. thre 'in . the . human body ?"- "Well, I.' forget ,now,4 but .I did know aiutst." -'s ..- • ' "What'! _ Don't., you_ know - that? Why, there.'s. 7,482,654.,924,4.4 -, i hones in an ordinary , man. A ,nian that snores has:one' more bone' than I other, peoPle'." . "What bone is, that?' - ''' ' ' •-• ' ''' s The trombone. It's ',sitnafed ,some where in the nose. 'You' *toi't _forget that, will yOn?" — ' '-` ' ~. He said he,wouldn't. ,\ , : "FloW.lot4,iyocild it' take:a hand' turtle to cross the desertof Salmi . a with- a.sinall orphan boric) touch' him up behind with a "red-twit poker ?" ' "Well look, ere.MiSter if - I had a,slate and pencil could \ gger , that cut, .ni t dog my skin if i'rn - - much - on mental 'rith. Metier. 4! . , : 051 V..... an 4 , pencil: Did.toti eVer see . a slato add Perieil'abottt a.sanctilni ? - Non- sens.l, :Well, We'll let auit.ii , 4,4tion slip: .1111v-elan got a constitution , r -, ;"Pretty-toletable." ' - ,k ; - :•-• - "How long do you . '4-tipptse 'yon'toirld live on ,raw corn and 'faith and do the work . of ' a:deMeSileatedelepliant ?" _ , - ."lttrd li. -I_, don't believe::.l.. coulo,,liye more'n a week." ' - ' f''' - ''''' . ‘Well - 'tbat'Sr - libent - as lourtii`foit'd want to live ' u got =. y,o,„ .ap, editorial posi tion on this paper. toti'llippear to be pretty well posted. We, shall. ask you one tore .question; tin& if - von - Prov:t equal to it yon can take off your coat and sail in." - = "Let's have '' er 'squire. I' didn't cor r spond for. the;.Painpkinvilie : Screamer 8 x weeks for nothin.' Let 'er come—l'm o‘dc'elis* - f_am." - . . ' ' -"Welb „ ph', if two diametrical -- circles with octagonal paripheries' should collide with a centrifugal” idiosiricrasy, or; to , ,put it plainer, - we'll say allisenfranchise& nonentity7what , effect wOuld .the catas , -, trophe exert - on a crystalizea codfish Sus pended by tie tail from the homogeneous rafters of the empyrean ?" As the full, force, of this ponderous problem broke upon his bewildered brain, he Slowly dragg(•d his inartistically-cob- bled shoe..from under.his chair and start". 'ed :from the Nom. We heard !liras de scend the stair, go out,and close the door W-tlin placidly resumed our dutiei, re greitii g that so promising wyouth should haire.been weighed: in the balance and found wanting. , ' \ - • A. Formal:3y Complied' With: . . . . _ln Augusta no provision has been 'made this •winter far feeding and lodging tramps. A viigabonil- iient into, a police station and wanted to sleep there. "We.only lodge prisoners," said the sergeant at the desk. "You only lodge prisoners," ri peated the 'VagabOild ' meditatively:- , "That's all," was the • reply,;r "You've got to st,s,i,t ,i3ornel hing, assault some- Way, oriatnething, of that kibtl;' "orve got tb assault sumebody,Or some.; thing of :that! kind,", again repeated:the vagabond, thoughtfully. -- Then' he reach ed \acrost the:',:deek with his long arm, and knoeked the sergeant off .his, stool; saying as - the officer got.up with his hand,on eye, '"Give• ine`f.44 good a bed as you kin; sergeant, 'cause I don't feel 'very to night." A little six-year-old . boy was asked' by his tetwhe y tx write tv - comp(44o on the subject of water ; and the following - ts_ the prod notion : "‘Vatt-r is good ,tb drink, to Swim in, ,apd.sicattee ott .#13511 fro . Zeti.. When: 18V likti‘e hoc, the nurse usf,d to athe"me , every !horning ,in , water. I have been told-tat the ,- Injans wash them h t - e• . 1 • ves, u once in en ,y ajs.. • wis 1 was an injun !" . A young woman. in ,0 .put, her .tec4l) in a gIa.S . S And n tlielnorning . futin 16164 ; tied • in' a ; - chnnk of soht) , Bhe; was late itt'btikcastyt4 -- :, prodiiis,cof thawing out •rie:; ttet - a Ici?niife"Of iinitehee Pawing been ,-- • =MI ,:,The , time ~., w l)e,a man f:ully, „realizes is I*-010,j0"18' iPtiere , 1 , 1116 ala iarged is -kvfien , he finds, :that r rockings for lila Shirk au of s tti Celieit; lik;10,1 4eofdi,nglyt E , DEMOCRAT;' B 'PE • 6 1 - ~ ~. ~ .N i'~c! CORM I==l ~► rr--- New 'Advirtisenits, rittipaimic FOR WINTER STOOK .-‘0,147 , ? •-• ~YI - T - R uuuvi3 OtionlirT - 1 - ..11 . 0ptRi1.*., &',goig. 00.121 . - • SHAWLS; siCIASSIMERES, BEAVERS 4 1,114 D CLOT S;.. • • G R &C' OOL' AND mOHAlittdESs. GOO PLAID . A D ;:PLAIN DS SIMS; 'POPLINS, CASEIIMERES, ,, DRAB TB DES ALPA CAS, BLACK AND COLORED, ; • FLANNELS:: ROSE BLANKETS ,IfIAIt,OEILES BED KIMEA - DS, , WOOL TABLE SPREADS, TABLE LINENS; TOW ELS, N . A, pADTS„. o s . e tip hi urnialiing .1, - 1 Aletige Etortm!rntif and Oleg', .:i ~, . . LADIES' AND OHILDRENS I MERINO UNDERGAR . .I)IENTs, M ERINO AND NOW, HOSE PELT; SHIRT $, GLOVES, &c.. &c. ALL SIZES. 'AND QUALITIES; ' ' At G. R. & to' suit, MILLINERY GOODS, RIBBONS, FLOW ERS, FEATH ere, BLACK ANDCOLORED, SILK AND COT , TON VELYKTS. .TRIMittING SLLKS, variety; DRESS CLOA.IC TRIMMINGS, LACES, FRIN GES, BUTTONS, SII,E TIES, UORSETS, -.BROIDERIES,' •ZEPHYR; NVORSTED • •AND ANC Y Y ARNS. CAN VASS, NOTIONS AND ' STAMPED PAT:, ' - ' '.t• TERNS, Always in great variety, , • MRSTIC 'GrOODS, -, BLE A dtldo AND , BROWN SHERTINGs AND SKIRTINGS. :CANTON FLAN.; k ,pALLICORS, DENIMS, TICKINUS , t ,., „AND -. CIIEVOTT SHIRTING:S.. , , • WAYS'ATULL AssoritrmuNT - ‘• 310 ST POPULAR BRANDS, 1 -N. Ar4Prlges teR euttle tiides • • At. G. R. & co's. OARPETS, .131L' GLOMS:. MATS. DRUGGETING. ERS ? ,FERS. FURS, BTFIIALOI ROBES,IIO.I4SN BLANKETS, LAP ROBES dm. _ /MEM Cheap • if t , o t t . &Awl& • .i - • Men and Isoys" ready-made mite , a large stock.t•Com plete assorttstentbf beat goods; *arntuted to give sat isfaction. Prices to snit the tintesiat G. R. & Co's. , • 1 OVERCOATS ! ..6ViRCOATS ! I For Boys', Youths' and Men. All Sorts. Qnalities and prices from $3 to :Pe. Supply yOur wants at G. R. & Co's. . Out Cuptom Deptrtment Large stock of fine caseimeree. Cloths and Beavers Measures taken. good fitting and 1 workmanehip guar anteed. Priceis fully 20 per cent. less than out of town Call and leavo your meature at El. it. Lt. Coli. • • • FURNISHING GOODS. Gents farniiihing: goods. White and col died cotton Shirts,' Wool acid'MerinoWrappers And Drawers, Flannel and merino Hose, Snitt..Jackets, Comforte , Ties, Howe. Mufflers, Gloves, Trunks, Satchels, itc sc., the largest variety in town, it G. ft. &./ Co'e. HATS! HATS! I et . CAPS! CAPS . At Q. R. & dote • GITTENBERC;, ROSiNBALriiI, & C . 44 M. S. DESSAUEl4ilianaging Partner Montrose, September 29th. 1101 S. . . CARTFR, ABBOTT JOHN S:0 Wholesale and Retail Dealers in HARDWARE, IRON, STEEL, NAILS, • BLACK SMITHS' SUPPLIES, FARMERS' AND MECHANICS' TOOLS. Sweet Val terol - - _ EEL TIRE, TOE, CALKS an 4 CALK STEIL; aolti BUILRETIYS ,COIN SHELLER ANJi , THE IMPROVED . , BURDICK FRED' CUTTER; .tosroAu , AID Su Vs, !.'!: .'ttil Washiniton St, 13 IN • . 9 ' Oct. 14th. 1876.-1). ' TARBBLL - HOT'S* • - MO mTEQgu.rszqtv e •••:- ••• *:. 40/EIN • Nine Stsgo and Hacks laaye this House neeting wttli the itiontromy Hallway, the - Lehlgli A , alley Rail ma d t .sad the 1:1,14,54.0 s 'At G. R. & Co's At' G. It d t .Co's. At G. R. & Co s At ,C 34 ,11,..„& Co's .. .:::k Aganta'r~ir OrPOSITS TOE. URT 1101711 X, • '. 1876. r ' 1 ;. 1, A ,A. - - • \ • Has.just returnc4Yon; with 'a large and complete assortment of rRY GOODS - CL ;.- Hdts • i lira s : large "teniporary,"l. the ,- Hotel= Ir HOtelgrounds; e 'shall retnljefe 4011,Qur new - - - - • • i;;", • *1 . r- • ; sir stock `ianeiCand botight. *4ll care as- be;ret9fOre, otter th largest assoitinitutlilid best: bargains iii the county. , , • Butter atd'ProduOq2oi6o. Highest :priceprptopt guaranteed. g on ad*iince(Lwhen deeired. p.. . Great Bend, 'July '7tli,:-1:875. FRANK (BRANCH HOUSE OF JOHN .Mp I.(E & CO., PHILADELPHIA,) 1-111 r l)ealers, t 0 1 . I rime' ll r LI 40% r 40 1 • vai m+ tm ati tie f ^ 1.1 All kinds and grades 'of i)0X13811C & 'IMPORTED VINES & LIQUORS, as low ap any house In the Stste. I November 10th. 1875.-3 m - N ER L A. -S., EVERY , . . , . , ' ' ‘ Bronze Lamps, Opal Lamps, .All W m ass:Laps, Mad Lain pa, -,-- Burners, Wicks; Shades, Shade Holders, &C., &C. Address by 'Mail PromptlY Atiended. To. BEST JOB PRINTING Large Stock of JOB TYPE and FOUR Printitig Presses, we Defy Oomepetion NAIL • Bvy,p - - .. couiwiN asizecrvme TIN AND SHEE*-ON WARF. 4, , Builders' Hardware. Welioald be more thanklal to one,and all who snow they have unsettled accounts with ne‘ lt they,vVenld and settle by - the mbidleof March :lit. Feb. 4.1074. =EI k ,1 FARMER'S "TAU NOT.IDA 1 : Beal. market prize, paid in c.otabi for. • CORN - RYE, AND OATS' at the Itiontroee Steam Mill. D. A— 140 1 - 0 11 tifipeiintatadent. N Dutra:ea:July 14. 18.15;---tf. .~Sjl. ;,~}i ~, _ ~ ~ 3; ;i _;,"~ DVEATI I.MEAP Good: Systentaticc /1. perilous who contemplate making contracts with. ne.wspapers fur the insertion of advertisements, should send,Atanta to (ho. P. Itowell pt.rk Wm - New' Toile, for - their PANIPIII.ST-;1100K (nipety-t;ev-` eath edition.) containing Nitta of over 2000 n newepaperi anti estimates. showing the Cost. dvertisements tak en for leading pasprs in many -Butt Is. at trctuap c d.otts eduction from pfirioltitioyit9l. t u fo ] 1.1601e.-3:yt , ,„; t 1 0 1 r • o o - Laps, U U 111111 e h; Grez►t 33e3:3.4:1, 1: 3 e►. I . (-,-- 1 - •-.1 - - f - N 3'- , 1 i-h 1-2 'i -- 4\ 77 '` .(""*, -I". : --- i • dt (y.it Gli 1 ,c , ,...ttNtitt vr kJ • J-:1 . -•-• ------ 1 ; --- ~ , ~', c;.. ,- , , 1 .- , -"'''''': -- I ,Th -- :\ --:''''' —•. " . r . .. - '—"'• t ' - ' !,- • ' • ' - '' . " ;'.'• .•' .I''itE: ON TETE ,OLD , GROUN , RTOK"- itS , IS C,Om-P---LE :§TQ., ~ rks; :: ': :" : ‘..:.: l.. `, 1. - -" ' I. " '. . ~1, .. .:~ ~--, - , , „ • . . liCapsei,lei Itio.-11.ff MEIME i IFi '% F P . ~ • I • „ IWII9LESALE DEALER _ • „ . • •- , „tvisi t n1 , 1 ,,T STYLE OIV FLINT ' .ANII-I.OMMUII grim - ALivz.S • lardekmizt. Prices Guaranteed as Low as any House in ,Southern Areic York We are continually; addling new materia' i Both in Price and Quality, either n Plain Black or Colored Work. TINWAR4 Cornerof Main and Turnptke Ste. .' ' . ZNICCOINT9eIzt.C)II333IIt DIALESII IN CUTLERY, ETC., lis s ,"br th Ireeiff:' l •.. Thank. to-our Friends for raga Favor tleimelite. ',1.-7.i 001113 „, wmati? vrii#W7l ,4 , , i - 1.1" - : 4 1 ' . . Zi 3 ; ...! A: _j', ',-,' ...:: . •ar THING, `j'rt If 4 1:199 NatiOng, Sed., '&0.9 \ ! , B.INGIIANTON, SPECIAL INDUCEMENTS IN `ALSO, MANUFACTURER OP , DW©RL• ~; ; , B poTs . - ft:•:..:8-HgEs viroi fro', . : 1 ~ ~. ,: iLl_. - LEMIEIM. GEO. NEE. SCRANTON, PA. March 87:1875. . . . , Air ,TUE4,OI•VESIr. RATES Ito our oft*, "and *it4 - our , FURNITURE, At W. W. Smit,h, & Son's Etiten s lye ?urn 'tire War nittuticin will fi nd the large El stock o ' FIRST CLASS AN t303.11M0N Nwt.T.EL 9VICTELV ,Tabs fouid in. this section of the country. of his ow: manufacture, gmd at prices thatcaunot hal to give satie faction- TheY Make the very best EXTENSION TABLES • /13: the'Cout!t!y, and' WARR) , wIT them. 'Er lc; tie's* y 117' t all it 4 ,nda done in thernestast maLnet. • ' ' ' of Vd#lrOtrgiMPS?' MATRASSES, AND COMMON MATRASSES _ U N :D. - E R:T A K 'I N G The 3ubeiriber will borakfter make t 14., nderutatsg. qpoctalty in his buriness..., 'Having jun completed A KEW and thti Incr. oIegant.REARSE in tho State, a' at needing hia eervlces will be attended to prompti)and satisfactory cbargoe. WPI, W. SMITH & SON• ntrape.PA.. jedi; 1t4141:—n05--tr. I. • 1 • Beat calicoes 8, cents per yard at Chear " • - ,XMCl,efi•lalt.loag. aia The unilf4:lll will swtnath,' Unc • • -1:- ivinete, tu, thtl, 1111 uotititog their tetvteetrivill promPtir att ended to. - Natigfactioti** , oorantood.‘ , Istit Pa., 3pr4. 1,4815. -':AT-43,110,v0..redslcedf, onr 37 cent and, 50 cent tine. Dress Goods to 25 cents at Cheap John's. COol 111 0 C V " All • C? 14 , •„,,,g 0 0 i: -q N. Y., CIiI%INEY& A. A. MINIS. HAWLEY &-ZRUSER. P. MATTA KVPX 14-11