'
" °f%ll/110tiCiltile
• • ~ '
—7l:4 l tr — t ge 4, , A t
midst.
"Beira' I'm herer - lie" said to a police
maan,upq the,;poiSc.,, pAce,77-!,tkielgjltrniy
never come here agin, and view ':-1 'want
to soe all I kiV, ,ra ilike)ltelf know if it
it011,d4w14e,,, e ' 1.? g4)0"9 Kr l avery
311 ki t il $- 4 1
' 4ao PipvNitter re :
.e
the,officer. - , . ' '` • 1 , . `: - ' "
'iltekl efi*te Ai ii ' the liiity Yard ..-:,=
Isithete mALO-khere tolsoe ?.,',' ~.- re. , 7 , ~, ,‘, ~,
t' #Yekiacklii,AlPal."- -/,'ii, %''''';;.. !",', .:,•,I''
4 ' "Do you 'spose they'll hang any One_
• thgre, tmllay“?" , - ~,,
c, _ ,
"The Navy' Yard .iiiioli j iie'filacis'iiihere
they hang bike," laughed the officer. •
.\.• ! APSo 1 • L thO'V- \ Lit it, ya 3., ..,-';‘Woll, .What's
the perTormanCet,anyhavv. , -, -
.-f‘There sis:',Vo. performance of any
sort."
"There hikinkrs',-,-
the rope ?"
?M,N"
ibaoit..gsorner
4 .
sprincr'?"--.‘
‘,‘..1V,e1), it mufet, be a dum queer kna4ry
etblaiMed .s,trangef;':c4,f)*ei
aps` thoy've 'got' 'a < 'grizzly b'ar :over
there r'
"Never heard of oner replied the off-
"Does a; balloon go up.rt
4Guees not." „ .
'titunder' do they
"Whikdoes a feller g 6 over' there
A • ,
;,',l)on't know what a Navy
Sailed the officer.
tAres • rittow , vtliat - a kn avery yard iis
,fis
well as you .do;;,„,:' , Vve seen thousands of
'em, and I expect to , See' ihoustinds more
I. don't caretwO cents - about- seeing
this
one,, though it they are going to play the
Crook'.or have any fun,' I'll take
*-look- in:
, This NitvyNard, said theo ff icer, is a
tlice .where;t i
hey build and repair .gov
ernmept-shi is, 'store; cannons sup 1 .
! ,-;slqwly in`quired
&v . .- : Well it must be a one - horse affair.
don't suryotz.e I could eyen getlanYbeer
irier4 ere e • c :
°' l4 P guess 'no,t;,"' . - • •
• ,
go, Etiia: , the stranger in,
iideterinined voice. s•I guess lcnOck
*riSund-and -see. if - 't 'run across an
i044-02:flint,
L.; ..•-;; • e • .4
a* a Finaacjer.
The in an , and brothel," - As 'arriving,
though by slow degrees, at the techniz
cal distinctions Of seCuritie3. With him,,
wwiph bis deeply frescool
ditiikkis;ittisoltite secittritY' for;c4pit ! al
Tested is of higher moment than large,.
interest. Thus it was with Mr. Oiesar
Smith, itg4TiVrtiieittly.to sis neigh-
bor, Mr, Thompson, for a little. advice.
• "Mr.,Thompson," asked Mr. .Smith,
"wobldloiilend Guff &mei forty dollars
if you was me ?"., 1
'What security c blii
an ‘'off4r
.?'-'
"A mOrgide: l
"A mortgage. Why, what, has he got
to mortgage ? " -
‘l3aoa.svhat bodders me, Mr, Thomp
son. I know he don't own nada but de
ibids'Olitis back."' - -1 • -
then",' hoW dui:he give you .a
. -
• "Ries the queshun; 'Mr. Thompson. -
r o, he cant do it, and I's made up my
'Mini ilia he can't nava di.: money unless
he gives me his note of -hand."
'The ''Value orljp!itacation.
,
:, Jake "Vas heard caling across the ferCe
to his neighbor's son, a Colored youth
4cho goes to school' at the tla to colorill
university : . .
it.
"Look: hyar. boy, you, oes ter
,school,
don't yer r , . 1 • ,-
~
..-ayes. s ir'' replied the , boy. 1 -
"Gitlin' eddyks.shun, ain't yer?"
- "Yes, sir."' -
"Darnie'fithmetiC:kandi fikerin',,on a
slate, ?" . .
"Yes, sir." I •
it 'aeon% take two itrhoie daYB, to
tnake.6 hour, do it -?"
=. "WY , no.r c xelaintiect. the V g y. • ,
"You.was gwine to bring . dat hatehit
bank.in an hour, wasn't yer ?"
•
!`An'. it's bin two" days'sence you bOr
pwed. igood's edkashun
-'seine ter do you _thick skulled 13ggers
*hen yOr go An :100°1' a whole year, an'
iie t n Oan't_tell:, - hOtkr long- it takes to foteh
lifta it-hatnhei ?". • •
Tl 4 boy got mad and slupg the. hatch!
it
over, the lanceand half way , t,hte4gh
barrel.. I
“.Siriiisaid a fier c e: "do you .on
yonieoleiniti oath, declare thiiis"not yorir
r' "I, reckon - not,” was-the
: poi rply.ciliDoes it resembleyonr. hand
-writing ?" 4 "yes, think :it don'o7
*Do poi swear that it dbu't resemble
, ,
Tour,' bindwiiting old
*lead:" . your solemn oath
that this writing does not resemble pities
singled etter ?" sir," "Now
Abow do.: yOu-i.know 'Cause I oan't
**W."
, ,
; 'iziataru-tfroji.thel),.esraserticet
*net 6D:ildence.
a ' tlier4l„ .
; • hapPitivoal) ugaCie.l
wit a9~l P!nu
Arworthy Kentueltv,formervbeing oak
a Is
;‘lstoiffirf;
)11h*:on±a.44:#iyiiiiti
.bunt her own hive."
Pon?t . illy one walk
E Wanted tobe an Editor.'
. -
"Have von bad any experience 'in.' the
basinasEt?" we asked, of a verrlant-lookl
ing youth who. applied for an editorial
position The ,other,,,day., ~'-',,;, ‘,5,,, :
~
rit ...,:-'
"Haven't Aionght ?eieplied - ; . tis he
shoved. one febt; . .oiiAer - ,hiS„,Chair , tO'hide
thettinskiliftil patching of a .backwoods
cobblem ".reitcolia say I'dluid Seine ex-
Pe riene,oo,veti't= I-dorrespOnde4 lyith- the
PurnPkinville - Seiiiitger for Six weeks ?
Hain't that experience-enough,?" -,
"That Fill do,,yory, well, we rePlig,
-"but' i,Vlteit,' , Ave, 400: - Ipt0 tan g men on our
editorial 'staff,`Ave generally put them
through an examination- - How much,
are twelve,tintes one?" ..' - ,„ : ~ ~
"Twelve! -Why; any'litile l 'hOy (nlit
to an--"
"Hold on, pieaSe—don't be too fast:—
who discovered America ?" :- ' • -
'' :"Klumbus I. - Pshaw, them::- questions
is just las easy as---- ~ , ~. .... _
'-,
'Who was;the first man V' -•- .. - . •- • -
"Adam: . 'Why; Mister, I kiviw all—"
"What was his other iiame•r,F7 - ,
"His -other'ifetrie'P - Why' '; he - didn't
have`none."
"Yee ; he did. Yon see that's , ;where
we've 'got • you. His . other name was
Ebenezer--Eberiezer Adam, Esulate -of
Paradise. Nobody knows that but ed
itorsoind see to - it that you don't tell
anybody." ~ , , , , 1
•
lie said' he VOuldn't. _' ' ,` ':'
,tiOw tiiiiny .- boikes
. are. thre 'in . the .
human body ?"-
"Well, I.' forget ,now,4 but .I did know
aiutst." -'s ..- • '
"What'! _ Don't., you_ know - that?
Why, there.'s. 7,482,654.,924,4.4 -, i hones in
an ordinary , man. A ,nian that snores
has:one' more bone' than I other, peoPle'." .
"What bone is, that?' - ''' ' ' •-• '
''' s The trombone. It's ',sitnafed ,some
where in the nose. 'You' *toi't
_forget
that, will yOn?" — ' '-` '
~.
He said he,wouldn't. ,\ , :
"FloW.lot4,iyocild it' take:a hand' turtle
to cross the desertof Salmi . a with- a.sinall
orphan boric) touch' him up behind with
a "red-twit poker ?"
' "Well look, ere.MiSter if - I had a,slate
and pencil could \ gger , that cut, .ni t
dog my skin if i'rn - - much - on mental 'rith.
Metier. 4! . , :
051 V..... an 4 , pencil: Did.toti eVer see . a
slato add Perieil'abottt a.sanctilni ? - Non- sens.l, :Well, We'll let auit.ii , 4,4tion slip:
.1111v-elan got a constitution , r -,
;"Pretty-toletable." ' - ,k ; - :•-• -
"How long do you . '4-tipptse 'yon'toirld
live on ,raw corn and 'faith and do the
work . of ' a:deMeSileatedelepliant ?"
_ ,
- ."lttrd li. -I_, don't believe::.l.. coulo,,liye
more'n a week." ' - '
f''' - ''''' . ‘Well - 'tbat'Sr - libent - as lourtii`foit'd
want to live ' u
got =. y,o,„ .ap, editorial posi
tion on this paper. toti'llippear to be
pretty well posted. We, shall. ask you one tore .question; tin& if - von - Prov:t
equal to it yon can take off your coat
and sail in." - =
"Let's have ''
er 'squire. I' didn't cor
r spond for. the;.Painpkinvilie : Screamer
8 x weeks for nothin.' Let 'er come—l'm
o‘dc'elis* - f_am." - . . ' '
-"Welb „ ph', if two diametrical -- circles
with octagonal paripheries' should collide
with a centrifugal” idiosiricrasy, or; to ,
,put it plainer, - we'll say allisenfranchise&
nonentity7what , effect wOuld .the catas , -,
trophe exert - on a crystalizea codfish Sus
pended by tie tail from the homogeneous
rafters of the empyrean ?"
As the full, force, of this ponderous
problem broke upon his bewildered brain,
he Slowly dragg(•d his inartistically-cob-
bled shoe..from under.his chair and start".
'ed :from the Nom. We heard !liras de
scend the stair, go out,and close the door
W-tlin placidly resumed our dutiei, re
greitii g that so promising wyouth should
haire.been weighed: in the balance and
found wanting. , ' \ - •
A. Formal:3y Complied' With:
. . . .
_ln Augusta no provision has been 'made
this •winter far feeding and lodging
tramps.
A viigabonil- iient into, a police station
and wanted to sleep there.
"We.only lodge prisoners," said the
sergeant at the desk.
"You only lodge prisoners," ri peated
the 'VagabOild ' meditatively:- ,
"That's all," was the • reply,;r "You've
got to st,s,i,t
,i3ornel hing, assault some-
Way, oriatnething, of that kibtl;'
"orve got tb assault sumebody,Or some.;
thing of :that! kind,", again repeated:the
vagabond, thoughtfully. -- Then' he reach
ed \acrost the:',:deek with his long arm, and
knoeked the sergeant off .his, stool; saying
as - the officer got.up with his hand,on
eye, '"Give• ine`f.44 good a bed as you kin;
sergeant, 'cause I don't feel 'very to
night."
A little six-year-old . boy was asked' by
his tetwhe y tx write tv - comp(44o on the
subject of water ; and the following - ts_
the prod notion :
"‘Vatt-r is good ,tb drink, to Swim in,
,apd.sicattee ott
.#13511 fro . Zeti.. When: 18V
likti‘e hoc, the nurse usf,d to athe"me
,
every !horning ,in , water. I have been
told-tat the ,- Injans wash them
h t - e• . 1
•
ves, u once in en ,y ajs.. • wis 1
was an injun !"
. A young woman. in ,0 .put, her
.tec4l) in a gIa.S . S
And n tlielnorning . futin 16164 ;
tied • in' a ; - chnnk of soht) , Bhe; was
late itt'btikcastyt4 -- :, prodiiis,cof thawing
out •rie:; ttet - a Ici?niife"Of iinitehee
Pawing been ,-- •
=MI
,:,The , time ~., w l)e,a man f:ully, „realizes
is
I*-010,j0"18' iPtiere , 1 , 1116 ala iarged
is -kvfien , he finds, :that r
rockings for lila Shirk
au of s tti Celieit; lik;10,1 4eofdi,nglyt
E ,
DEMOCRAT;'
B
'PE
• 6
1 -
~ ~.
~ .N i'~c!
CORM
I==l
~► rr---
New 'Advirtisenits,
rittipaimic FOR WINTER
STOOK .-‘0,147 , ?
•-•
~YI - T - R uuuvi3
OtionlirT - 1 - ..11 . 0ptRi1.*., &',goig.
00.121 . - • SHAWLS;
siCIASSIMERES, BEAVERS
4 1,114 D CLOT S;.. • •
G R &C'
OOL' AND
mOHAlittdESs. GOO PLAID . A D ;:PLAIN
DS SIMS;
'POPLINS, CASEIIMERES, ,,
DRAB TB DES ALPA
CAS, BLACK AND
COLORED,
; •
FLANNELS:: ROSE BLANKETS
,IfIAIt,OEILES BED KIMEA - DS, ,
WOOL TABLE SPREADS,
TABLE LINENS; TOW
ELS, N . A, pADTS„.
o s . e tip hi
urnialiing .1,
- 1
Aletige Etortm!rntif and Oleg',
.:i
~, . .
LADIES' AND OHILDRENS I MERINO UNDERGAR
. .I)IENTs, M ERINO AND NOW, HOSE PELT;
SHIRT $, GLOVES, &c.. &c. ALL SIZES.
'AND QUALITIES;
' ' At G. R. &
to' suit,
MILLINERY GOODS, RIBBONS, FLOW ERS,
FEATH
ere, BLACK ANDCOLORED, SILK AND COT
, TON VELYKTS. .TRIMittING SLLKS,
variety;
DRESS CLOA.IC TRIMMINGS, LACES, FRIN
GES, BUTTONS, SII,E TIES, UORSETS,
-.BROIDERIES,' •ZEPHYR; NVORSTED •
•AND ANC Y Y ARNS. CAN
VASS, NOTIONS AND
' STAMPED PAT:, '
- '
'.t• TERNS,
Always in great variety,
, •
MRSTIC 'GrOODS, -, BLE A dtldo AND , BROWN
SHERTINGs AND SKIRTINGS. :CANTON FLAN.; k
,pALLICORS, DENIMS, TICKINUS , t ,.,
„AND -. CIIEVOTT SHIRTING:S.. , ,
• WAYS'ATULL AssoritrmuNT - ‘•
310 ST POPULAR
BRANDS, 1 -N.
Ar4Prlges teR
euttle tiides • • At. G. R. & co's.
OARPETS, .131L' GLOMS:. MATS. DRUGGETING.
ERS ? ,FERS. FURS, BTFIIALOI ROBES,IIO.I4SN
BLANKETS, LAP ROBES dm.
_
/MEM
Cheap
• if t , o t t
. &Awl& •
.i - •
Men and Isoys" ready-made mite , a large stock.t•Com
plete assorttstentbf beat goods; *arntuted to give sat
isfaction. Prices to snit the tintesiat G. R. & Co's. ,
• 1
OVERCOATS ! ..6ViRCOATS ! I
For Boys', Youths' and Men. All Sorts. Qnalities and
prices from $3 to :Pe. Supply yOur wants at G. R. &
Co's.
.
Out Cuptom Deptrtment
Large stock of fine caseimeree. Cloths and Beavers
Measures taken. good fitting and 1 workmanehip guar
anteed. Priceis fully 20 per cent. less than out of town
Call and leavo your meature at El. it. Lt. Coli. • •
•
FURNISHING GOODS.
Gents farniiihing: goods. White and col died cotton
Shirts,' Wool acid'MerinoWrappers And Drawers,
Flannel and merino Hose, Snitt..Jackets, Comforte ,
Ties, Howe. Mufflers, Gloves, Trunks, Satchels, itc
sc., the largest variety in town, it G. ft. &./ Co'e.
HATS! HATS! I et . CAPS! CAPS .
At Q. R. & dote
•
GITTENBERC;, ROSiNBALriiI, & C
.
44
M. S. DESSAUEl4ilianaging Partner
Montrose, September 29th. 1101 S.
. .
CARTFR, ABBOTT JOHN S:0
Wholesale and Retail Dealers in
HARDWARE,
IRON, STEEL, NAILS, • BLACK
SMITHS' SUPPLIES, FARMERS'
AND MECHANICS' TOOLS.
Sweet Val terol -
- _
EEL TIRE,
TOE, CALKS an 4 CALK STEIL; aolti
BUILRETIYS ,COIN SHELLER ANJi
, THE IMPROVED . , BURDICK
FRED' CUTTER;
.tosroAu , AID Su Vs,
!.'!: .'ttil Washiniton St,
13 IN
• . 9 '
Oct. 14th. 1876.-1). '
TARBBLL - HOT'S*
• - MO mTEQgu.rszqtv
e •••:- •••
*:. 40/EIN
•
Nine Stsgo and Hacks laaye this House
neeting wttli the itiontromy Hallway, the - Lehlgli A , alley
Rail ma d t .sad the 1:1,14,54.0 s
'At G. R. & Co's
At' G. It d t .Co's.
At G. R. & Co s
At
,C 34
,11,..„& Co's
.. .:::k
Aganta'r~ir
OrPOSITS TOE. URT 1101711 X,
• '.
1876.
r
' 1 ;. 1, A
,A. - - •
\ •
Has.just returnc4Yon; with 'a large and complete assortment of
rRY GOODS - CL
;.-
Hdts •
i lira s : large "teniporary,"l. the ,- Hotel= Ir
HOtelgrounds; e 'shall
retnljefe 4011,Qur new - - - - •
•
i;;", • *1
. r- • ;
sir stock `ianeiCand botight. *4ll care as- be;ret9fOre, otter th largest
assoitinitutlilid best: bargains iii the county. , , •
Butter atd'ProduOq2oi6o. Highest :priceprptopt guaranteed.
g
on ad*iince(Lwhen deeired. p.. .
Great Bend, 'July '7tli,:-1:875.
FRANK
(BRANCH HOUSE OF JOHN .Mp I.(E & CO., PHILADELPHIA,)
1-111 r l)ealers,
t 0 1 .
I
rime' ll
r
LI
40%
r
40 1 •
vai
m+
tm ati
tie
f ^
1.1
All kinds and grades 'of i)0X13811C & 'IMPORTED VINES & LIQUORS, as low ap any house In the Stste.
I November 10th. 1875.-3 m
- N ER L
A. -S.,
EVERY
, . . ,
. , ' '
‘
Bronze Lamps, Opal Lamps, .All W m
ass:Laps, Mad Lain pa,
-,-- Burners, Wicks; Shades, Shade Holders, &C., &C.
Address by 'Mail PromptlY Atiended. To.
BEST JOB PRINTING
Large Stock of JOB TYPE and FOUR Printitig Presses, we Defy Oomepetion
NAIL •
Bvy,p - - .. couiwiN
asizecrvme
TIN AND SHEE*-ON WARF.
4, ,
Builders' Hardware.
Welioald be more thanklal to one,and all who snow
they have unsettled accounts with ne‘ lt they,vVenld
and settle by - the mbidleof March :lit.
Feb. 4.1074.
=EI
k ,1
FARMER'S "TAU NOT.IDA 1 :
Beal. market prize, paid in c.otabi for.
• CORN - RYE, AND OATS'
at the Itiontroee Steam Mill.
D. A— 140 1 - 0 11 tifipeiintatadent.
N Dutra:ea:July 14. 18.15;---tf.
.~Sjl.
;,~}i
~, _ ~ ~ 3; ;i _;,"~
DVEATI I.MEAP Good: Systentaticc
/1. perilous who contemplate making contracts with.
ne.wspapers fur the insertion of advertisements, should
send,Atanta to (ho. P. Itowell pt.rk Wm -
New' Toile, for - their PANIPIII.ST-;1100K (nipety-t;ev-`
eath edition.) containing Nitta of over 2000 n newepaperi
anti estimates. showing the Cost. dvertisements tak
en for leading pasprs in many -Butt Is. at trctuap c d.otts
eduction from pfirioltitioyit9l. t u fo ] 1.1601e.-3:yt
, ,„;
t 1 0 1 r
• o o - Laps, U U 111111 e h;
Grez►t 33e3:3.4:1, 1: 3 e►.
I .
(-,-- 1 - •-.1 - - f - N 3'- , 1 i-h 1-2 'i -- 4\ 77 '` .(""*, -I". : --- i •
dt (y.it Gli 1 ,c , ,...ttNtitt vr
kJ •
J-:1 .
-•-• ------ 1 ; --- ~ , ~', c;.. ,- , , 1 .- , -"'''''': -- I ,Th -- :\ --:''''' —•. " .
r . .. - '—"'• t ' - '
!,-
• ' • ' - ''
. " ;'.'• .•'
.I''itE: ON TETE ,OLD , GROUN ,
RTOK"- itS , IS C,Om-P---LE
:§TQ., ~ rks; :: ':
:" : ‘..:.: l.. `, 1. - -"
' I. " '.
. ~1, ..
.:~
~--, - , , „ •
. .
liCapsei,lei
Itio.-11.ff
MEIME
i IFi '% F P . ~
• I
• „ IWII9LESALE DEALER _ •
„ . • •-
, „tvisi t n1 , 1 ,,T
STYLE OIV FLINT ' .ANII-I.OMMUII
grim - ALivz.S • lardekmizt.
Prices Guaranteed as Low as any House in ,Southern Areic York
We are continually; addling new materia'
i
Both in Price and Quality, either n Plain Black or Colored Work.
TINWAR4
Cornerof Main and Turnptke Ste. .'
' .
ZNICCOINT9eIzt.C)II333IIt
DIALESII IN
CUTLERY, ETC.,
lis s ,"br th Ireeiff:' l
•..
Thank. to-our Friends for raga Favor
tleimelite. ',1.-7.i
001113
„,
wmati? vrii#W7l
,4 , ,
i - 1.1" - : 4 1 ' . .
Zi 3 ; ...!
A: _j', ',-,' ...:: . •ar
THING,
`j'rt If
4 1:199 NatiOng, Sed., '&0.9
\
! ,
B.INGIIANTON,
SPECIAL INDUCEMENTS IN
`ALSO, MANUFACTURER OP ,
DW©RL•
~; ; ,
B poTs . - ft:•:..:8-HgEs
viroi
fro',
. : 1
~ ~. ,:
iLl_. - LEMIEIM.
GEO.
NEE. SCRANTON, PA.
March 87:1875.
. .
. ,
Air
,TUE4,OI•VESIr. RATES
Ito our oft*, "and *it4 - our ,
FURNITURE,
At W. W. Smit,h, & Son's
Etiten s lye ?urn 'tire War nittuticin will fi nd the large El
stock o '
FIRST CLASS AN t303.11M0N
Nwt.T.EL 9VICTELV
,Tabs fouid in. this section of the country. of his ow:
manufacture, gmd at prices thatcaunot hal to give satie
faction- TheY Make the very best
EXTENSION TABLES
•
/13: the'Cout!t!y, and' WARR) , wIT them.
'Er lc; tie's* y 117'
t all it 4 ,nda done in thernestast maLnet.
• ' ' ' of Vd#lrOtrgiMPS?'
MATRASSES,
AND COMMON MATRASSES
_
U N :D. - E R:T A K 'I N G
The 3ubeiriber will borakfter make t 14., nderutatsg.
qpoctalty in his buriness..., 'Having jun completed A
KEW and thti Incr. oIegant.REARSE in tho State, a'
at
needing hia eervlces will be attended to prompti)and
satisfactory cbargoe.
WPI, W. SMITH & SON•
ntrape.PA.. jedi; 1t4141:—n05--tr.
I. • 1 •
Beat calicoes 8, cents per yard at Chear
" • -
,XMCl,efi•lalt.loag.
aia
The unilf4:lll will
swtnath,'
Unc • • -1:- ivinete,
tu, thtl,
1111 uotititog their tetvteetrivill promPtir att ended
to. - Natigfactioti** , oorantood.‘
, Istit Pa., 3pr4. 1,4815.
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