Newspaper Page Text
B. F. SCHWEIER,
THE COnSTITUTIOn THE UniOn -ARD THE EnFORCEDERT OF THE LAWS.
Editor and Proprietor.
- MIFFLINTOWN, JUNIATA COUNTY, PENN., WEDNESDAY, MAY 16, 1900
V-'- V.J' ' ' "v?: -Cv- : - -'-
"And do choose a nice one this timer
tays a small woman, with pleading, soft
brown eyes. "Just fancy those long days
and weeks in far out-of-the-way places;
I want someone who is very, very pretty,
btkI very, very delightful, to be my com
panion. Never mind about ber being a
heiwue. Everybody can't be a heroine.
I wr.nt somebody who will be merry at
linnor, and cozy to walk with on the
moonlight nights; and I don't care two
pence about her character '
"You know quite well what I mean. I
lotest 6trong-minded women they should
ill be sitting on school boards, like a row
f owls. Character! Yon can't kiss force
f character; but you can kisa Peggy
"You mean you can."
"Well?" says Mrs. Threepenny-bit
with a stare. "Isn't that enough?"
"Il'm! However, it's Perry Rosslyn
rou've fixed upon? Well, I shouldn't
have called her so uncommonly pretty.
Let's see. Her eyes her eyes are rath
er glassy, aren't they?"
"I think they are most beautiful eyes,"
Mjs this small creature, warmly1. "Why,
they have the clear, shining blue of the
eyes of a child!"
"But when yon come to her conduct,
what are you to say? Why, you know
she is a most outrageous and audacious
i lid abominable flirt!"
Queen Tita condescends to smile a lit
tle. "She is a mischievous monkey," she ad
mits. "But it's only her fun."
"Her fun? A nice kind of fun! I call
ber simply a White Pestilence."
"It's all very well for yon to make a
ioke of it; but if you would only think
of those two grown-up boys, and the kind
it example that is set before them "
"I dare say the boys will be able to
look out for themselves."
"If they take after their father they
"Come, now, about Peggy. Ton know
she has a way of expecting a good deal
"Yes; and men are never willing to
pay her all the attention she wants! Oh,
no, they are quite reluctant you espe
cially! W '.. never mind, I'll take Peg
gy. I dare aj we shall get on excellent
ly by ourselves. .But tememharPnq'
Is to be mine, and mine alone. Of course
he wULshare'my cabin at night, but I
mean in the day time as well when we
are walking along the bank. Peggy is to
be with me; and if we go for a drive any
where, she and I are to sit together. And
won't you men be wild!"
""And won't yon women be dull! But I
. don't know yet that I can allow a per
son -at that kind to come with us. Look
at the way she goes on at cards."
- "It's only her fun."
"Why, everything is only her fun! Ii
she to be allowed to do whatever sh
pleases, so long as it amuses her? Be
sides, there are other considerations.
She's a Yank."
"She's a dear!"
Obviously it was of no use to argo
furthr with woman who wonld, mak
such irrelevant answers; for the sake ol
peace and quietness it was better to say
"Very well;" and so it came about that
it was resolved to ask Miss Peggy Koss
lyn to accompany us when we should be
ready to steal away from the busy
haunts of men and begin our exploration
of the devious waterways In the west fo
. And now we had to lay all our plans,
before our young friend, in the hope of
enticing ber to go with us. It was speed
ily found that very little enticement was
necessary. When her hostess described
to her our preconcerted and sudden with
drawal from the road- and turmoil and
heated rooms of London; the assembling
of the small party of friends on board
the mysterious barge, as y nnoonstruet
ed and unnamed, that was to bear us
away toward far western regions; out
stealthy gliding through the silent land,
in the pleasant May-time of the year; the
ever-changing panorama of hill and wood
and daisied meadow slowly going by; out
morning walks along the banks: out
moonlighted evenings on deck, with per
haps a little music, of plantation birth;
or. later still, a game of cards In th
lamp-lighted saloon when all thes
things and many more have been put be
fore her, the question comes:
"Now, Peggy, what do you aay? Will
rou go with us?" w ir,
"Win I r says PegsT- Won 1 17"
And then she seems to think this an
rwer too abrupt; and she goes round th
table and kisses that small mite of a
"Yon are just too good to joe."
lays; and then she returns w x."
"You win bring your banjo. Miss Peg
gy r says one of us.
-Oh, no! A guitar sounds all right
But a banjo would be out f kP'nf
"Oh. we can't gt on without Kitty
Wells7 and 'Carry Me Back to Old ir-
tfnny-' " ,
"There is a much more Important
tiTJZrZ. Mrs. Threepenny-b.
d she ey the young tadT with
sod significant scrutiny. '
.fourth for our party; and he may-1
ay be may-be a man; and even possibly
rWng man. Now. Peggy. I want t
Inow ' U yon are going to behave your
elf'" Miss Peggy turns to the third membei
,f this trio, with appealing as lnno-
gfiEttSTu that kind? D
1 SerwTswear it! But I -
know where to come in, yon poet
Ear Xn they say things about yon
Yoo'knX wheti ajrmp- and coool
tln are always waiting for you.
The first difficulty we encountered wa.
. end a suitable name for the nob
, mot was to carry ns away rnto
those sylvnn solitudes.
11 A hundred name, were examined and
re Voted; and we were growing desperate
wi MiJs Peggy 2gr!lZ
in one evening, settled the matter
,a.'rH .11 thetroub" -he.
"why not call It the 'Nameless Barge ?V
TbeN.mek Barge" was the very
we wanted mysterious. ghost-Hke,
fn J entirely in at, with our secret
uu si.ent gliding along those solitary
foK:i! ,he "-N,unJ- Barge" w
forthwith declared it should be.
Now, when we set about tne planning
and construction of the nondeacrinr .t.
ing tmng that was to De servicenoie o
J 1 , """J rivers, we were greatly
indebted for advice and assistance to a
roung friend of ours. Hi. name was
.Dnttconibe; he was the son of a
wealthy Manchester merchant, .who had
jcot the lad to Harrow and Cambridge;
hereafter the young man came to Lon
ion to study for the bar, took rooms in
the Temple, eat his dinners, and eventu
ally got called. He was an exceedingly
i:ver and handy fellow, and of the most
indefatigable good nature; and when he
beard of this project of ours, he quite
naturally assumed that it was his busi
ness to procure for us the very vessel we
wanted. This he did, after a good deal
of trouble, and it was agreed and under
taken that the "Nameless Barke," paint
s' a rimule white, with no toncb at ooioc
or gilding at all, should be ready and
waiting for ns at Kingston-on-Thames,
on May 1, with such stores on board as
we might choose to send dowa before
hand. Then says the mistress of this house
bold: "Mr. Duncombe has been so awfully
kind and obliging over this affair that
we are almost bound to ask Mm to go
with us, if he can."
"You know the certain result. Peggy
will make a hash of him within the first
"Oh, no, no; this time she has promised
to behave; and indeed I don't think she
?ver means very serious mischief."
Accordingly, we asked the budding dra
matist to accompany ns, and nothing
loath was he; for he bad always plenty
of time on his hands and ideas in his
head, that wanted an abundance of leis-
nre for the proper working of them out.
And then we told him about Peggy
Itooslyn going with us.
"I've heard a great deal about that
young lady," said he. "It's odd I've nev
?r met her at your house."
"She spent all last winter in Paris,"
Mrs. Threepenny-bit explains. "And since
she has come to England she has been
mostly at Bournemouth, where she has
"And is she really the adorable angel
yon all make her out?" he asks, with a
certain air of indifference, not to say of
"She is a very good girl, and a very
lice girl," says Queen Tita, quietly; for
the doesn't like any of her young lady
friends to be spoken of in a free-and-easy
fashion, especially iut-gpuni; men." -.
JaJeed, the next timfc JTufcrjuncotnb
jailed to see ns she tooK occasion to drop
t little hint on the subject in the gent
est possible Sny, of course. He came in
radiant. He had been down to Kings
ton. The "Nameless Barge" was nearuig
completion. He was himself astonished
at the amount of accommodation on
board, seeing that she bud to be con
structed so as to enter canal locks and
pass under bridges; nay, he was confi
lent of ber sea-going qualities, too, when
we should have to face the wide waters
f the Severn channel. According to him,
the project no longer looked merely hope
ful; its success was assured. Our wan
derings were to be purely pastoral and
peaceful; the Thames, the Severn, the
Kennet, the Avon, were to reveal to ns
their most secret haunts. He promised
us that on some still evening some warm
and golden evening perhaps dying slow
ly into dusk, and then reawakening into
the splendor and magic of a moonlight
night we should find ourselves moored
by a meadow-side, in the dim solitudes
of the Forest of Arden.
"There's my dear! There's my pretty
)OqI" cries Queen Titania, as we drive
up to Waterloo Station; forthwith one
catches sight of a tall young lady, bright
eyed and smiling, coming quickly toward
the cab; the next instant the two friends
are together on the platform, kissing each
other in the wasteful and foolish fashion
peculiar to women.
"No, Peggy," says Queen Tita, grave
ly; "yon needn't look round. Hs Isn't
"3h," says Peggy, - with reproachful
eyes, "as if I wanted anybody but you."
Our start, after all, was rather a hap
hazard affair, because some of our ar
rangements had broken down at the last
moment. For one thing, the factotum
of a stewardrovided by Jack Duncombe
proved to be much too astute a person for
simple folk like us. Doubtless be knew
a great deal more about the Thames and
about house-boats than we did; but when
it came to innumerable conditions and
half-hinted stipulations, we had to point
nut to him, gently but firmly, that we did
ivot at all look upon his going with ns in
the light of an obligation. And then says
"Where do we ever get courtesy and
kindness and good-will except in the
West Highlands? If I were you I wonld
send right away for Murdoch."
"A Highland steward on the Thames!"
"At all events he will be good-natred,
and obliging and pleasant mannered."
It was there and then resolved to send
for Murdoch Maclean of Tobermory, In
the Island of Mull, who came sadly lie
wildered by the size and roar of London;
and was at once sent on to Kingston.
Thither also Jack Duncombe had gone
down; for there was some little trouble
about getting a man and horse to tow us
up to Oxford where more permanent
arrangements were to be made. Thus it
was that we three set forth by ourselves.
As the train slowed into Kingston Sta
tion we perceived a young gentleman eag
erly scanning the carriages. He was a
straiglit-Iiuibi-d, alinily built young felon-,
of pale complexion, with good fea-
iiiv. intelligent gray eyes, chestnut-
ruun tiair. and a small brown mustache.
f- wore a blue jacket, white ducks, and
IVKay." said the elder of the two
i-iiim n. as they stepped out and on to the
l..ltorm, "let me introduce to you Mr.
.uiL-oiiibe Miss Ilosslyn."
l i e quick look of surprise that appear
.1 u tlie young man's face! Had our fa
;i.i.ir speaking about Peggy deceived
.ini? lcrliai he was not prepared to
.nt! this American young lady so distin-;iiihi-(l
looking, and so calm and self
Ksesned, to say nothing of the observ
nt. direct gin nee of her clear, shining
ye.i. Miss Peggy bowed complacently
a.l not nukindly; and the young man,
(covering a little from his embarra sa
lient, tinned to his hostess and explained
i;at be hnl a youth below and a barrow
or the transference of our luggage, and
tliat he had left Murdoch in charge of
the boat. Then these two, the luggage
having been carried " down, walked on
ahead, leaving Miss Peggy to follow with
the only companion left her.
"Well?" one says to her, by way of en
couragement and Inquiry. She does not
rare to look up In answer: yon would
tJnk she was quite interested In tlx
uu.-ty road before her.
"Miss Peggy, are you going to let him
Again the plaintive, injured look.
"I didn't think you were going to ac
cuse me of such things, even in fun. You
rrre always kind to me and and defend
ing me against everybody. Besides,
didn't I tell you you would see for your-M-lt,
all the day long, how well I be
have?" "But yon mustn't behave too well. Mist
Peggy; that would never do; we might
begin to think you had some definite kind
of a character about yon. Don't yon
know what made that small woman there
determined to inveigle you into going
with us? It was because yon had so
angles of character at all; because yon
were nothing bat simply nice."
"Did she say I was nice? she in
quires, with a touch of shyness.
"And did yon agree with her?" asks
this bold hussy showing what her shy
ness is worth.
"I? Oh. well that's asking questions,
and too soon. You feeow what the man
said who went off in a balloon by him
self; he said: 'This is verv nicn. I hope!'
We'll see. Miss Peggy. We'll hsve a lit
tle scrutiny of your conduct before saying
anything definite. We'll give you a.writ
teu warranty afterward!"
Here we are down at the river; and
there is the long white thing an elon
gated Noah's ark a whitewashed gon
dola it seems that is to be our home for
many a day. And here la Muxdorfe come
ashore a sailor-like, sunburned young
lellow, who has made himself smart in
bis steward suit and peaked cap; he b
very bashful before the young ludy stran
ger; he waits to be spoken to by Queen
Tita, who is an old friend and seafaring
comrade of his.
"Well, Murdoch." says she, "and what
do you think of the boat, now you have
Murdoch glances toward the "Namel
Barge" with evident disfavor; but he U
too courteous to say anything too dispar
aging. "I thought, mem, it was to be a yat,"
he says, still regarding that long white
eel of a thing.
"A yacht? Oh, no. We couldn't take
.1 yacht away inland. Why," she says,
with a smile, looking at him, "I believe
you are quite disappointed."
"Oh, no, mem. May be it is a good
loat for the purpose may be if ux. But
I would not like her for us to be going
on ml Ru Hunish in that."
"Murdoch, this is Miss Rosslyh; she is
an American young lady, who wants to
see all about England, you know;.end
yon'll have to do everything to make4 her
comfortable while she is on board." ( -
"Oh, yes, mem; but I. wish the ysung
leddy was going with on a. yat, aasHn."
-r. .Murdoch, rather- pfetneticaHy?- Lr It
jlear that he regards our present exfedlr
tion as a sad falling off from other he
has known in former days.
. Queen Tita looks at him and laughs a
"I do really believe, Murdoch, yon are
sorry you came south!"
"Oh, no, mem; indeed not that, mem,"
says this bashful-eyed young fellow. "I
am sure I do not care what kind of a
boat it uz. if you will ask me to go, mem;
and it's ferry g'ad I am to be going with
you, mem, whateffer the kind of boat." .
(To be continued.)
Hum. a Nature.
Mrs. Neighbors I was very sorry. In
deed, to learn of your sad loss, Mr. Hay
rlx. You have my deepest sympathy.
Mr. Hayrix Wall, calkerlate it wai
purty sadllke. I had ten uv th' finest
bogs In this yer hull teownshlp, as)
eight uv 'em's deadern' a door noil.
Mrs. Neighbors (horrified) But I wai
referring to the loss of your wife.
Mr. Hayrix Yaas, misfortun's nevei
dew 'pear to come gingerly. An' I could
'a sold them thar hogs fer $20 a head
,vw. Chicago News.
Orange Bavaroise. Put the yolks ol
lour eggs into a saucepan and add fiv
mnces of loaf sugar and the peel ol
.wo oranges which have been steepec
'or three hours In three-quarters of ?
int ef boiling milk. Place the pa;i
ver the fire, and when the mlxturt
hickens add three-quarters of an ounc-l
f dissolved gelatine. Then strain th:
whole through a fine sieve Into a bow
Place this on ice and stir till it Is quit;
:hlck, then mix in three-quarters of :l
pint of whipped cream. Line a cylln
ler mould with orange Jelly, and whei:
t is set pour In the mixture, pack th -nould
In ice, and when set turn out.
Fish Puff. A delicious way of usln.
remnants of cold cooked fish. Choi
Ish and mix with It an equal part oi
nashed potatoes. Season with salt anc
sepper and an ounce of melted butter
Stir into It two well-beaten eggs. Forrr
nto a roll and place on buttered tin
Brush over with a beaten egg. Rol
n bread crumbs and bake one-hal:
lour In hot oven.
Compte of Oranges. Put the thin pee
if six oranges Into a saucepan wit!
three-quarters of a pound of loaf su
rar and two breakfast cupfuls of wa
,er and boll for 20 minutes; skimming
'requently as the scum rises. Scrap.,
iff the white pith from the oranges
lull them Into quarters, add them tc
be syrup and simmer gently for sis
ninutes longer. Take them out with
t scummer, arrange in a heap on a
Ush; boil the syrup until quite thick
urd when cold pour over the oranges.
Lucanian Eggs. Chop fine a largt
white onion and slowly fry in a table
spoonful of butter. When nicel
browned add half a pint of milk and
six hard-boiled eggs cut in quarters.
Let heat slowly. When smoking hoi
add two tablespoonf uls of grated cheese
mixed with one tablespoonful of chop
ped parsley, a- little salt and pepper,
a pinch of cinnamon and two beaten
egg yolks. Stir over a slow file until
the sauce thickens, take from the fire
and add a teaspoonful of lemon juice.
Baked Shad. Take a large melt shad
and fill it with a stufflngmade of bread
crumbs and seasoned with some cay
enne pepper, salt and a little onion.
Put It into a large baking pan and pour
over It lumps of butter the size of a
hickory nut. Pour over it a cup of
cream and bake In a rather hot oven.
Baste as frequently as you would a
roast, watching carefully that the
cream is replaced whenever there Is
danger of it drying up. Add more
cream from time to time, so that there
will be a generous cupful when the
shad Is sufficiently baked. About three
quarters of an hour will be required
for baking. Serve with slices of lemon
and parsley for garnishing.
It la impossible that an ill-natured
man can have a pubic spirit; for how
should he love ten thousand men who
Vas never loved one?
Klectricallx Propelled Ambulance sad
The predictions about the passing of
3ie horse and the universal employ
Dent of the automobile are slow of f ul
lllraent. but signs are not lacking that
the change is gradually coming about
ind that the horseless carriage la sure
ly. If slowly, supplanting its equine
xtmpetitor in the struggle which can
nly end In the survival of the fittest.
Motor cabs and carriages are on the
Increase and seem to be giving good
latisfactlon wherever they bave been
ntroduced; automobile fire engines
lave been employed for some time and
mechanical power has been used to
propel various other heavy vehicles;
and now we have an automobile hos
pital ambulancasBnd an automobile po
lice patron wagon. The first vehicles
of this kind that have been built are
shown In the accompanying: Illustra
tions which are reproduced from the
Scientific American. The town of
Akron, Ohio, claims the distinction of
having constructed the first automo
bile patrol wagon, while the ambulance
will run on the streets of New York,
having been built for St Vincent's
Hospital of that city. Both vehicles
are propelled by electricity, the cur
rent In each case being supplied by
storage batteries.. The patrol wagon
has an accumulator of forty. cells by
means of which a maximum speed of
twenty miles an hour can be attained,
while In the ambulance the current Is
supplied by forty-four - cells, which
give a maximum speed of thirteen
miles an hour The cost of the am
bulance Is not given but that of the
patrol wagon was about $3,000.
There are many reasons why me
chanics' power is better than horse
power for the propulsion of such vehi
cles. In the case of an automobile am
bulance, for instance. It Is capable of
greater sustained speed than a horse
vehicle! and when the destination Is
reached no care has to be paid to the
steaming horse, so that both surgeon
and driver can devote their attendance
to the Injured person. Accidents to am
bulances are of frequent occurrence,
owing to their speod and their right of
way, but electric vehicles can be stop
ped In their length. Every second Is of
Importance to an Injured person, and
speed and ease of riding will undoubt
edly soon make them a great favorite
among hosp'tal authorities. Another
feature of Interest is the lower cost of
maintenance. An ambulance Is usual
ly Idle twenty or more boura out of
the twenty-four, and this gives ample
time for charging the batteries. There
Is no time lost In hitching up, and the
stable may be in the hospital proper,
without the dangers of stable odors.
Tbey Mixed the Noise and Light.
They were little city children not
the city children who are so poor that
tbey have never been out of sight of
their hot nest of streets where they
live, but little children who were well
cared for and supposed to know all
about the joys of the country. But
It so happened that tbey bad never
been taken Into the country or any
thing that approximated country di
rectly from home and at night. It was
only a Long Island town to which the
little ones had been transported, but
when the darkness closed In around
them and there were no noises and no
bright electric lights, and Instead or
a little spot of sky Just over their
heads a big broad expanse filled with
stars, closing In. all around them, and
the katydids called aloud at them, they
cried to go home. "I am afraid of the
dark," sobbed, one. "I am afraid of
the katydid," cried the other, and
"There are so many stars," they both
cried together. New York Times.
Pangent Remark About a President.
President John Qulncy Adams once
asserted that be would not give 60
cents for all the works of Phidias and
Praxiteles, adding: "I hope America
will not think of sculpture for two
centuries to come." -When some one
quoted this to William Morris Hunt, be
asked dryly: "Does that sum of money
really represent Mr. Adam's estimate
of the sculpture of those artists, or the
value which be places upon 50 cents?"
Death by Anarchists.
Th German Emperor la probably the
only European monarch who carries a
revolver. Firmly convinced that he is,
going to die by the bullet of an anarch-!
1st this fate having been prophesied
to him long ago he is determined to;
fight for his life If necessary, and so-,
cordlngly Is never without his revolver.:
He la extremely skillful in the use of,
the weapon, and his Jaeger, or body
servant, who accompanies him every-:
where, inspects It every morning to
make sure that it is In perfect order.
.The man who never made a failure
la unable to appreciate success. .
After a bouse baa been upset three
weeks, no man is good enough to ad
HEW ELECTBIC AMBUliSCt.
'trrOMOSTLB rATBOL WAOOIT.
mit to bis wife that It loOks any
The announcement of the death ol i
Dr. Uruby. of Paris, recall, many la
terestlng.rearurea or his long practice j
among the eminent folk who were hit j
patients. The list Includes Heine,
George Sand. Marshal MacMahon. the
elder Dumas. Daudet, Ambrolse Thom
as. Chopin and Liszt. Although t
cured many of them of various real at
fancied maladies, he seldom ad mini,
tered or prescribed a dose of drugs.
Exercise, abstinence and occupation
were his therapeutic agents; bat know
ing that orders to take these simple
remedies were seldom obeyed, he re
sorted to various little tricks to attain
the end. To one patient who needed ex
ercise, he gave a little sugar and wa
ter, with orders -to walk from the Bas
tille to the Church of the Madeleine
every morning before sunrise, and at
every sixty-eighth step to crack a
grape-seed between his teeth. Anothei
nervous idler was ordered to more InW
four rooms on the fifth story of a bouse
with no elevator, to have each rootd
papered a different pattern and shade
of green, and to select, himself, the
rooms and the paper, and to superin
tend all the work. By such devices, be
lured his patients Into doing what they
otherwise would not have done, and
thus was enabled to effect many cures.
It was a shrewd use of mental foible
for the cure of physical Ills.
Somebody who has access to the
quant-private correspondence of a New
York concern, and who Is unable is
keep a good thing to himself, makes
public the following extract from a
letter written to the house by a friend
ly firm In an Interior town:
Upon our recommendation, Mr. and
Mrs. , of our city, will shortly
visit your New York house, with a view
to making extensive purchases. If suited,
they may prove to be valuable patrons.
Be sure to pay particular attention to the
taste, of Mrs. (second wife).
Kindly consider this communication con
fidential. It is hardly necessary to direct at
tention to the implication contained in
this friendly bint from one bushiest
firm to another. The point which the
out-of-town concern wished particular
ly to emphasize was that no amount
of attention bestowed upon Mrs.
would be thrown away, for the simple
reason that she waa Mr. 'a second
wife. Long and careful study of the
relations that exist between a husband
and his second wife seems to have con
vinced the intelligent mercantile class
es that the latter Is very apt to exer
cise greater Influence over the former
than any first wife possibly could. We
are left In doubt as to why this should
be so, bnt people who are engaged In
vocations which demand the exercise
of more than'osdlnary good lodgment
1 Stealing wftst nbinaAlty In rneral.
and whose aim Is always to please, are
not Ukely to err greatly when they as
sume that, while a husband may oc
casionally disagree with hia first wife,
he seldom or never finds It pleasant to
differ from bis second, particularly on
a shopping tour. There Is In the letter
quoted above a suggestion for that
large and worthy element of our popu
lation which la striving constantly to
explain the vagaries and Idiosyncra
sies of human character. It cannot be,
of course, that a husband Is so entire
ly chastened or cowed by his first wife
that he submits gracefully or slavishly
to the domination of his second; nor
Is 't to be presumed that one who has
passed safely through hia first matri
monial venture has been so well
trained that he Invariably makea a
better husband for the second than he
did for the first woman of his choice.
No amount of theorizing over this mat
ter will result In a satisfactory con
clusion. It la probable that In the
present Instance there were special
reasons why the New York firm should
be particularly pleasing to the second
wife. The out-of-town concern could
not safely enter Into these reasons. A
hint was thought to be sufficient, and,
without knowing anything to the con
trary, we must imagine that the New
York firm acted on and profited by It.
Little Senate's Dictionary.
A hat Is an article to keep a feller
from catching cold In hia hair.
A nat Is what we have to wear so's
we won't have to cut pockets in our
A necktie Is a thing to keep a man's
chin from dirtying his shirt front.
A vest keeps the rest of the shirt
from getting dirty.
Pants well, you've got to wear
pants or stay aChome; that's all. They
are what make some men look bow
Stockings are things a feller wears
so's he won't bave to go barefooted In
Shoes are what keeps a feller from
wearing hia feet out
Private Cab'e for the Qnqrm.
The Queen, when at Osborne, has hor
wn private submarine cable; which ui
laid from the Isle of Wight to Hunt
Castle on the mainland, where Charlj
I. was kept for a few days before his
trial and execution. Her majesty uses
this cable to communicate with her
The Eteraal Fstnlalne."
Clever women often express a laugh
ing contempt for the traditional Ideal
of man the sweet, soft, clinging, affec
tionate type and it Is true that thest
qualities often appeal to a man from
their very onlikenesa to his own. Thlt
was the type which Thackeray lauded
to the skies, rushing to the other ex
treme In creating Becky Sharp as hit
Idea of a "clever woman." The truth
is that a really charming woman Is a
cunning compound of Amelia' Bedley
and Becky Sharp. Either of these
types without any admixture of the
other would be quite Insupportable.
The elavasj Bachsloaw
"If yon had been at the Browns gold
en wedding celebration last night." sal
the sweet young thing, "you wouk
have altered your ' views on matrl
"I wouldn't, either," said the amvag
bachelor. "If matrimony were not t
fake there wouldn't be inch a pow-wow
raised over a couple that had managed
to endure each other for a few years
and don't you forgot tt -
. I L. 1st
III 1110 LaDOrilig 10110.
All the freight conductors and brake.
men on the Montana Central Railroad,
Montana, went out as a protest against
a new time schedule.
One hundred and twenty-five boiler
men in the Standard Oil Company's
Works. Bayonne, N. J.. struck lor an
Increase of wages.
one nundred boss carpenters In
Brooklyn. N. T.. acceded to the demand
of the United Brotherhood for an eighf-
nour aay at 45 cents an hour.
Trackmen and section men on the
Central New England Railroad In Con
necticut and New York struck for 11.50
Cutters in seven granite quarries in
Maine have struck on being refused a
new scale of hours and wages.
Journeymen plumbers in Halifax,
N. S., struck because they were refused
12.25 a day.
Sixty workmen on the Delaware &
Western coal trestle at Oswego, N. Y.,
struck for higher pay.
Section men on the Tiffin division of
the Big Four, at Tiffin, O.. struck for
$1.25 a day. which the company refused.
Three thousand stonemafons, brick
layers and stonecutters in Westchester
County, N. Y.. struck for an eight
hour day and 44 cents an hour.
Kerbs, Werthelm & SchifTer. New
York cigar manufacturers, applied to
the Supreme Court for an Injunction re
straining striking union employes from
picketing their factory and threatening
Union granite cutters In Cleveland.
O.. were granted their demand for an
eight-hour day and 20 per cent, increase
Eleven hundred woodworkers In Min
neapolis. Minn., struck for an Increase
Five hundred carpenters and 60 plum
bers In Albany, N. Y., struck for an
increase in wages and an eight-hour
day. The plumbers ask $3.50 a day and
the carpenters $2.80 a day.
Striking union carpenters in Boston,
Mass., who ask for eight hours and $2.50
a day. had their demands acceded to by
All the union plumbers of St. Paul.
Minn., went on strike for shorter hours
and better pay. 3
It is said that the Standard Oil Com
pany now controls the entire output
f salt of the United States.
Representative Jefferson M. Levy
3 as Introduced a bill into the House
:o repeal the War Revenue act. -
Chicago tailors, who have been on
itrike for two months, have compro
mised and gone back to work.
A soap factory at Sheboygan, Mich.,
Sas adopted the union label so as to
place Its products to better advantage.
Labor is paid three cents for produc
ng 144 boxes of matches; labor buys
:hose matches back and pays $1.44.
A member of the San Francisco Mu
sicians' Union has been fined $50 for
violating the laws of the' organization.
The Colorado State Federation of
Labor is investigating the feasibility
af leasing and operating a coal mine
The Southern Pacific has abandoned
the plan for establishing a relief de
oartment, owing to the opposition of
"For the recognition of the union and
Jie nine-hour work-day," Is the cause
f the recent strike of 230 brass work
ers in Chicaso. ,
I . That operators Shall at "no time with
hold more than two weeks wages from
niners is a recent mandate expressed
y the Iowa State Senate.
Not a union bricklayer in North
merica1s now working more than nine
lours a day, and in 130 cities the eight
lour day prevails among the members
f that craft.
As a result of a recejit vote, the head
iuarters of the Brotherhood of Paint
ers and Decorators of America have
seen changed from Baltimore. MJ., to
Syracuse, N. Y.
The Brooklyn refineries of the Amer
can Sugar Refining Company have re
ipened with 500 men at work. Trade
s increasing rapidly as the season of
large consumption of sugar approaches.
The warring labor factions of Louis
ville, Ky., have at last buried the
natcbet and amalgamated under the
banner of the Central Labor Union.
Trouble has been continuous for two
Field and Farm.
The best remedy for lice In poultry
houses is to add a pound of concen
trated lve to a wash boiler of soap
suds and apply the suds hot on the
nails, floors and roosts of the houses.
All lice, with their nits, will be de
stroyed surely and quickly.
Drainage is not simply the carrying
away of the surplus moisture. The
drainage prevents tne accumulation
of stagnant water in the soil and deep
ens the soil for the work of roots, thus
assisting to prevent evil effects during
periods of drought. The soil is alsc
tendered much warmer, while the pen
etration of the air brings oxygen tc
the vegetable and mineral matter In
the soil and hastens chemical reaction.
When a field Is tile-drained it can be
plowed a week or ten days earlier than
wet places, which enables the crop to
get a better start in the first stages
When too much land Is cultivated
the farmer is compelled to slight his
crops to a certain extent, and what
ha gains In area cultivated he loses In
yield. It will be more profitable to cul
tivate only as much land as can be
given careful attention. The man
ure that is sufficient for a small field,
and which would increase the yield,
will give but little benefit on a large
surface. Small farms permit of great
er economy of labor and can be made
more fertile every year.
It has been found that when fowls
are enclosed on small areas in plum or
peach orchards they serve to protect
the trees to a large degree from In
sects. Those who have been most suc
cessful do not give the fowls a large
range, but rather plant the trees in
the poultry yard, thereby using them
to provide shade for the fowls in sum
mer. Tobacco Is a profitable crop, provid
ed the grower does not allow his land
:o become Impoverished. While the ma
lorlty of growers seldom make mis
:akes in its cultivation, yet when it
.-omes to selling the crop they are not
is careful as may be required. Higher
jrices would be obtained if the tobac
io is assorted, separating the short
!rom the long, the light from the dark
ind the imperfect from the good, as
very grade varies from the other In
price. The buyer of tobacco usually
makes a close examination, and If the
tobacco is well assorted Inspection is
facilitated and the grower makes a
reputation that will assist him In se
curing better prices In the future.
For green manurial purposes two
TTopn of cow peas may be grown the
lame year. Plant the seed early, sowing
broadcast, if preferred, as soon as dan
rer of frost is over, and plow the vines
under when the pods are six Inches
long. Then roll the land and sow foi
a second crop.
An artisan In Lyons, France, has
constructed a clock with a little plat
form and two doorways just uni'wr the
dial. On the stroke of every hour the
figure of a soldier comes out of the
doorway, stands for a moment between
the two doors, gives a military salute,
and then fires a miniature pistol. At
the hour of one there is one report; at
the hour of 6ix. six reports, etc.
Six mourners who officiated as pall
bearers at a funeral in Mishowoka, Ind..
have sent In bills of indebtedness
I against the man's estate. for carrying
him to nis grave.
Rco. Dr. talmage
Snbjert: 1.1 ft 17 p the Fallen A Plea For
Welcome For the ProliKl KiiidneM
Would Kerlaira Many Unfortunates
Who nave Dropped by the Way.
Washing-tos. D. C. In tills discourse Di.
falmage pleads for a hearty reception to
all those who bave dons wrong and want
to get back, while the unsympathetic and
self-righteous are excoriated; text, Luke
xv., 23, "And be was angry and would not
Many times have I been asked to preach
a sermon about tbe elder brother of the
parable. I received a letter from Canada
saying, "I tbe elder son of the parable so
unsympathetic and so cold that he is not
worthy of recognition?'' Tbe fact is that
we ministers nursue the younger son. You
can hear the flappings of bis rags In many
a sermonlo breeze and the cranohlng ol
tbe pods for which he was an unsuccess
ful contestant. I confess that it has been
difficult tor me to train the camera ob
scura npon the elder son of the parable. 1
could not get a negative for a photograph
There was not enough light la tbe gallery,
or the chemicals were poor, or the slttei
moved in the plctnre. But now I think 1
have him; not a side face or a three-quarters
or the mere bust, but n full lengtb
portrait as ho appears to me. The futhei
in tbe parable of the prodigal hnd nothing
to brag of In hi two sods. The one was a
rake aud the other a churl. I find nothinp
admlrahle In the dissoluteness of the one,
and I find nothing attractive la the acrid
sobriety of the other. Tho one goes down
over the larboard side, and the other goes
down over tbe starboard stile, but the)
both go down.
From all the windows of tne old home
stead bursts tbe minstrelsy. Tbe flooi
quakes with tbe feet ot the rustics, whose
nance is always vigorous ana resounding.
The neighbors hare heard of tbe return ol
tbe younger son from bis wanderings, and !
they have irntliered together. Tbe house ent leather id sinners, for sinners fixed up
is full of congratulators. I suppose the by hairdresser, pomatumed and lavendered
tables are loaded with luxuries; not only nd cologoed and frizzled and crimped and
tbe one kind ot meut mentioned, but Its j "banged" sinners plenty ot rooml
concomitants. "Clap!" go the cymbals, suctt we m9et elegantly at the door of
"Thruml" go the harps. "Click!" go the j onr ohurches, and we Invite them Into the
chalices, up and down go tho feet Inside, i best seats with Clie-iterHeldlan gallantries;
while outside Is a most sorry spectacle. we usher them into the house of God and
Tbe senior son stands at tbe corner of the put soft ottomans under their feet and put
bouse, a frigid phlegmatic. He bad just ; Kd edited prayer book in their hands
some In from tbe fields in very substantial an 1 pass tbe oontribntion box before them
apparel. Seeing some wild exhilarations I witU an air of apology, while they, the
around the old mansion, be asks of a ser- ' generous souls. take out the equlslte ports
vant passing by with a goatskin of wine on j monnnle and open It and with diamonded
his snonlder what nil the fuss is about. ' fluKer push down beyond tbe 10 gold
One would have thought that, on hearing i pieoes and delicately pick out as an ex
that hta younger brother had got back, he predion of gratitude their onVrlng to the
wonld have gone into tbe house and re- ! Lord ot one cent! For such sinners plenty
joloed and, If he were not conscientiously of room, plenty of room!
opposed to dancing, that he would havol Again I remark that the senior brother of
joined In the oriental scbottisb. No. Tbere
he stands. His brow lovers; his face dark
ens; his lip curls with contempt; be stamps
the ground with indignation; he sees noth
ing at all to attract. Tbe odors of the feast
eomlng ont on the air do not sharpen his
appetite; the lively music doe not put any
spring lnio nis step, ne is a ternuie pout; lands."
be criticises the expense, tbe injustice and Alas, for this spirit of envy and jenlousy
the morals of tbe entertainment. The father . comiuc down through the nM Oaln and
rashes out bai-eheade(tjnd coaxes him to i Abet,' F.sail and Jacob, Saul and David,
come Id. "He will not go lu; he scolds the j Hainan and Mordncal, Orthello and Iago,
fatber; he goes Into a pnsquiaade against j Orlando and Angelica, Caligula and Tor
tbe younger brother, and he make tho quatns, Cmsar and Pompey, Columbus aud
most unoomely sceue; be says,"Fatber, yon the Spanish courtiers, Cambvses and the
pnt a premium on vagabondism. I stnid ! brother be slew because be was a better
at home and worked on the farm. You marksman, Diouyslus and Phlloxenlus.
never made a party for me; you didn't so whom ho slew because he was a better
much as kill a kid. That wouldn't have, singer. Jealousy among painters Clos
cost half asmuchasacair. But this scape-! lertnaa and Geoffrey Knellnr, Hudson and
grace went off in flneclothes, and he comes ' Reynolds, Francla, anxious to see a picture
back not lit to be seen, and what a time of Uaphael, Uaphael sends him a picture,
yon make over him! He breaks your heart, ' Franoin, seeiug it, falls la a lit of jealousy
and yon pay him for It. That onlf, to wbicb from wbloh he dies.
we have been giving extra feed during all I Jealousy among authors. How seldom
these weeks, wouldn't be so fat and sleek 1 eontemporartesspeakoteaoh o'her. Xeno-
IX l ana kdowu to wuni use you were goiug
to put Itl That vagabond deserves to be
cowblded Instead of banqueted. Teal If
too good for hlml" That evening, while
the younger son sut telling his fatber about
his adventures and asking about what had
oceurreu ou im umue riuuo ui uopurLure, j
the senior brother goes to bed disgusted i
ana sinms me uoor niier uim. xuhi senioi
brother still lives. You can see him auj
day ot tbe week. At a meeting of minis
ters In Germany some one asked tbe ques
tion. "Who is that elder sou?" and Krutn
rnacuer answered: "I know him; I saw bin
yesterday." And when tbey insisted npoc
knowing whom be meant he said: "Myself
When I saw the account of tbe converslot
of a most obnoxious man, I was irritated.'
First, this senior brother of tbe tex
stands for the self congratulatory, self sat
Isfled, self worshipful man. With thesami
breath in which he vituperates against hit
yonnger brother he utters a panegyric foi
himself. The self righteous man of m;
text, like every other self righteous man
was full of faults. He was an ingrate, foi
be did not appreciate the home blessing!
which be had all those years. He was dis
obedient, for when tbe fatber told him t.
come in be staid out. He was a liar, foi
be said that tbe recreant son had devourec
his father's living when the father, so fat
from being reduced to penury, hnd a home
stead left, and. Instruments of music, line
jewels, had a mansion and Instead of being f
panper was a prince. This senior brother
with so many faults of bis own, wai
merciless in his criticism of the youngei
brother. The only perfect people that 1
bave ever known were utterly obnoxious
I was never so badly cheated In my life ai
by a perfect man. He got so far up In hi:
devotions that he was dear up above al
the rules of common honesty. These mei
that go about prowling among prayei
meetings and In places of business, telling
bow good they are look ont for them
keep your hand on your pocketbookl 1
bave notioed that just In proportion as a
man gets good ha gets bumble. Tbe deep
Mississippi does not make as much noist
as tbe brawling mountain rivnlet. There
has been miny a store that bad more goodf
In the show window tbnn inside on tb
This self-righteous man of the text stood
at the corner of the house hugKing hlmsel)
In admiration. .We bear a great deal It
onr day about tbe higher life. Now, tbere
are two kinds of higher-life men. The on
is admirable, and the other is repulsive.
Tbe one kind ot higher-life man Is very
lenient in his criticism of others, does not
bore prayer meetings to death with long
harangues, does not talk a great deal
about himself, but mncb about Christ and
beaven, gets kindlier and more gentle nnd
more useful until one day bis soul spreads
a-wiug, and be flies away to eternal rest,
and everybody mourns his departure. The
other bigher-llfe man goes around with a
Bible conspicuously under his arm, goes
from church to church, a sort of general
evangelist, is a nuisance to Ids own pastor
when be Is at borne and a nuisance toother
pastors when be is away from home, runs
np to some man who is counting out a roll
of bank bills or runuiug up a difficult line
of figures and asks him how his soul Is,
makes religion a dose of ipecacnanhu;
standing in a religious meeting making an
address, he baa a patronizing way, as
though ordinary Christians were clear
away down below bim, so be had to talk at
the top of bis voice In order to make them
hear, but at the same time enoouraging
them to hope on that by climbing many
years tbey may aftera while come np with
in sight ot tbe place where he now stands.
I tell yon plainly that a roaring, roister
ing, bouncing sinner Is not so repulsive to
me as that higher life malformation. Tbe
former may repeut; the latter never gets
over his Pharisaism. Tbe younger brother
of tbe parable came back, but the senior
brother stands outside entirely oblivious
to his own delinquencies and deficits, pro
nouncing his own eulogium. Oh, how
rr.ucb easier it Is to blame others than tc
blame ourselves. Adam blamed Eve, Eve
blamed the serpent, the senior brothet
blamed tbe youDger brother, and none o
them blamed themselves,
i A'Mio. the s;mor orotnar ot my text
' rtnods for nil those who are faithless
lbout the r-for n itloi of the dissipated
ind the dissolute. In the very tones of his
roioe von can bear the f ict that he has no
!aith that th refor null n ot tbe younger
ion Is Pennine His entire manner seems
:o say: "Ttiat boy nas come for mors
noney. He got a third of the proportr.
ow ha has come back tor another third.
do w?.ll never be contented to st.iv on the
!arm. He will full away. I would go In,
;oo, and rejoioe with the others It I thought
:hls thing was genuine, bnt It is a sham.
That biy Is a confirmed Inebriate and de
auohee." Alas, my friends, for tbe In
tredullty In the church of ClirNt In regard
o the reclamation of the recrea itl You
ay a man has been a strong drinker.
y, "Yes, bnt he ha9 reformed." "Oh,"
rou say, with, a lugubrious face, "I
lope you are not icUtaken; I ncoe you
ire not mistaken." You say, "Don't re
oioe too muoh over his conversion, for
loon he will be unconverted, I fear.
Don't make too blit a party for that re
named prodigal or strike tbe timbrel too
lond, and It you kill a calf kill the one that
is on the commons and not the one that
has been luxuriating In the p:iddook."
That Is the reason why more prodigals do
not come home to their fatlier's house. It
Is the rank Infidelity la the cliurcU of God
on this subject.
There Is not a honse on the streets ot
heaven that has not In It a prodlg-il thtt
returned Kid staid borne. There could be
unrolled before you a scroll of 100,000
names tbe names of prodigals who came
hack forever reformed. Who wis John
Banyan? A returned prodigal. Who waa
Itlcharl Baxter? A returned prodigal.
Who was George Whltefleld, the tbunderer?
A returned prodigal.
And I could go out In all the aisles ot
this cdu rob to-dav and find on either side
those who, once far astray for many years,
have been faithful, and their eternal salva
tion is as sure as though they had been ten
years in heaven. And yet some oi you
bave not enough faith in their return!
You do not know bow to suaxe nanus
with a prodigal; you do not know how to
pray for htm; you do not know how to
greet him. He wants topsail Into tbe warm
tall stream ot Oaristlan sympathy. You
are the loeberg against which be strikes
and shivers. You say he has been a prod
igal. I know it, but you are tbe sour, un
responsive, censorious, saturnine, cranky
elder brother, and If you are going to
heaven one would think some people
would be tempted to go to perdition to gut
awav from you.
Plenty of room for elegant sinners, for
sinners in velvet or satin and iaoe, for sin-
ners high salaried, for kid gloved and pat-
my text stands for tbe spirit of envy and
nalousy. The senior brother thought that
ill tbe honor they did to th returned
irother was a wrou to him. Hn said, "I
iiave staid fit home, and I ought to have
Had the ring, and I ought to have had the
banquet, and I ought to have had the gar-
phon and Pinto living at tbe snme time,
bnt from their writings you never would
suppose tbey heard of each other.
Religious jealousies. Tbe Mobainin dans
praying for rain during a drought; to rain
Anmlnff. Then the 1hH-.Hi.ii a hAfpin I i t,rv
ror rain, and the rain comes. Thin the
Mohammedans met together to aocofnt for
this, and they resolved that Ood vas so
, well pleased with their prayers he kevt tbe
drought on so as to keep them praying, but
that the Christians began to pray aid thl
j Lord was so disgusted with their arayers
I that He sent rain right away so He would
I ii i umii nuj iuulo vft .unit ,uijiiunuwiui
Oh, this accursed spirit of envy and jeal
ousy! Let us stamp it out from all our
A wrestler was so envious of Thsognnes,
the prince of wrestlers, that be could not
be consoled in any way, and after Tlieog
enes died and a statue was lifted to him in
a public plaoe his envious antagonist went
out every night and wrestled with tbe
statue until one night he threw it, and It
fell on blm and crushed him to death. So
jealousy Is not only absurd, but It Is
killing to tbe body, and It Is killing to tbe
How ssldom It is you find one merchant
speaking well of a merchant in the same
Una of business. How seldom it is you hear
a physician speaking well of a physician on
tbe same block.
Ob, my friends, tbe world is large enough
for all of us! Let us rejoice at the success
ot others. The next best thing to owufng
a garden ourselves is to look over the feuue
and admire the flowers.
Tbe next best thing to riding iu floe
equipage Is to stand on tbe streets nnd ad
mire tbe prancing span. The next best
thing to having a banquet given to our
selves Is having a banquet given to our
Erodlgnl brother that has come home to
Is father's house.
Ah, the faceTf this pouting elder son is
put before us In order t'.tat we miitif
better see the radlunt and forgiving face
ot tbe Father. Contrasts lire niiithty. The
nrtlst In sketching tbe Held of Waterloo
years after the battle iiut a dove in tbe
mouth ot tbe cannon. K iphnel luoueot
-bis cartoons beside the face of n wrotcb
put tbe face of a happy and innocent child.
And so the sour face ot this irascible
nnd disgusted elder brother is brought
out In order that In tbe eoutrast w
might better understand the foririvtug
and radiant face of Gd. That Is tbe
meanlog of it that God is ready to take
back anybody that 1 sorry, to take him
clear back, to take him back forever and
forever and forever, to take bim back with
a loving hug, to put a kiss on his parched
Hp, a ring on his bloated baud, an easy
shoe on his chnTe.1 foot, a gr'.rlaml on bis
bleedlug temples and heaven in his soul.
Oh, I fall flat ou that mercy! Come, my
brother, aud let us get down Into the dust,
resolved never to rise until the Father's
forgiving baud shall lift us.
Oh, what a God we have! Bring your
doxologles. Cotne, earth and heaveu, nud
join in the worship. Cry a lond. Lift the
puhn branches. Do you not l-l - the
Father's arm around your neck? Do you
not feel tlie warm breath of yonr Father
Hguinst your cheek? Hurreuder, youuiiei
sou! Surrender, eld'-r sun! surrender.
nil! Go In to-day and sit dowu at the ban
quet. Tnkeasiiceof the fatted cnl1, nnd
ulterward, wheu y.-u are neaieri, with one
baud In tbe hand or tne return; brother
and the other hand iu the baud or tbe re
joicing father, let your heart beat time to
the clapping ol tue cymbal nnd the mellow
voiceor tne nute. 11 is meet that wesliould
make merry and he glad, for this, thy
brother, was dead ami Is alive aguiu. Ha
was lost nnd Is fniind.
Economy is nothing more than good
sense applied to every-day affairs.
Fame is the poorest wages any run
ever worked for.
Our heredity traits are those which
we pick out to blame ou our ances
tors. Impudence, like brass, soon grows
We can't be perfect, but we can be
better than we are.
Let us live for each other, but not
so energetically as to become meddle
some. If you want a bright, newsy weekly
paper, subscribe for "Tbe Indicator."
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