Newspaper Page Text
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, - V - lis--
B. F. SCHWEIER,
THE CONSTITUTION -THE UNION AND THE ENFORCEMENT OF THE LAWS.
Editor and Proprietor.
MIFFL.IXTOWX, JUNIATA COUNTY, PENN., WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 17, 1900.
J :'t mens, vice June, dethroned, but
ti:i ' :' hold full sway.
S it n Dysart hns come and gone
n i::- : time to and frrim Jreyconrt, and
by '! -t's a little of the constraint that
tn ! ::;ir:n ti'rizoil his early visits has
u.,,;, :iay. lie has even so far ad
v:i:.. ! to be almost on friendly terms
: :t ! isvitii hitn and Vera that first
ti .r k v. il nf distrust still hnngs heavily
il -trut that, on Vera's side, has taken
n !.! ki i hue and merged itself into dis-
Si :it in Pysart's arrivals being only
. kil fi r hy the girls at about seven
' ! k in the evening just an hour or so
li f dinner gave them plenty of time
In in pare for his coming. Any day on
w!h !! he was expected, Mrs. Crunch
li ni:-!it a formal message to Vera from
l.i : iiin-le to that effect. Never yet had
t:.i .! ii.nin come without the announce
!:!:. t lo-inic made; and so thoroughly nn-
i : 1 was it that he would not put
ir unexpected appearance, that when,
after a rather longer absence than usual,
bii absence extending over all last week
a 1 1 i part of this, he turns up at half-past
i l- in the afternoon, his coming causes
ii.-i:nct embarrassment in several quar
tos. "'What can have brought him at this
h'-:jr? London must be reduced to
ashes." hazards Griselda, her tone now
a genial as usual. For one instant a
':i kening fear that it might be Mr. Pey
toii'x knock had made her blood run cold.
There had been a short but sharp en
(miter between him and her the day be
fore yesterday, and a wijd fear that he
had come up to have it out with her now,
mul here, had taken possession of her.
At such a moment the advent of Seaton
U hailed by her, at least, with rapture.
"Why, what happy wind drove yon
down at this hour?" cries she. with the
fiieirl'.iest air, beaming on him as he
comes, into the room.
"It is good of you to cnll it happy,"
Mrs he, casting a really grateful look at
her as he shakes hands silently with
Vera. "In time for luncheon, too, I see,
though," with a rather surprised glance
at the table, "you don't seem in a very
hospitable mood. Nothing to spare, eh?"
"We didn't know you were coming, you
fee," says Griselda, mildly. "And it isn't
Itineh you see, or rather you don't see,
before you; it is dinner."
"What?" says Seaton, flushing a dark
red. He has got up from bis seat and is
rPL-arding her almost sternly.
"Is it true?" asked Seaton, turning' to
Vera. It is a rather rude question, but
there is so much shame and anxiety in
his tone that Griselda forgives him.
"Why should it not be true?" says
Vera, coldly. "As a rule, we dine early."
"She means that we always dine early
except when we know you are coming,"
supplements Griselda, even more mildly
"And this " with a hurried glance at
the scanty meal, "do you mean to tell me
that that this is your dinner every
"Literally," says Griselda, cheerfully.
"This is the chop that changeth not. It
is not all that one could desire, of course,
but if sometimes it might be altered
"Griselda!" interrupts Vera, rising to
"Why should I not speak?" asks Gri
selda. in a meekly injured tone. "I was
merely going to add that a fowl occa
sionally would be a good deal of moral
;-e to ns. I have always heard that to
keep the temper in a healthy state,
i hange of food is necessary."
"I feel as if I ought to apologize to
you for all this," says Dysart, with a
heavy sigh, addressing Vera exclusively,
"and as if. too, no apology could he ac
cepted. - Hut I shall see that it does not
"I beg you will do nothing," says Vera,
uuicklv. "Nothing. I will not hare my
uncle spoken to on this subject. Griselda.
is only in jest: she speaks like a foolish
child.' I." folding her hands tightly to
c.ther. "I forbid you to say anything
"I regret that I must disobey you,"
says Seaton, courteously, but with deter
mination. "My father's house is in part
mine, and I will suffer no guest to endure
discomfort in it."
"There is no discomfort now. There
will be if you try to alter matters in our
"You mean that you will accept nth
itii at my hands; is that it?" exclaims he,
i' ission that will not be repressed in his
lie- the coldness seems broken up, there
is tire in his eyes and a distinct anger.
"You have had that 'time' you spoke of:
h is it fullilled its missions has it taught
.hi to tletest me? No!" detaining he:
'..'.iberately as she seeks to leave the
mi. in. "Don't go; you should give me a
r. il reason for your studied discourtesy,
f : I won't believe that I am naturally
i. borrcnt to you. There must be some
If you must know," says she, looking
c.'i' k iletiautly at him. her blood a little
h"t, "you are too like your father for me
t'. pretee- 'rieudship with you."
' i Hi. Vera, I think you shouldn't say
rbar!" cries Griselda. now honestly
f -iitetieil at the storm she has raised.
! i.t neither of the others hear her. Vera,
. .th one little slender white hand grasp-i.-
the back of a chair near her, is look
tixedly at Seaton, whose face has
hanged. An expression of keen pain
"Has he been so bad to you as that?"
he says; and then, with a profound sigh:
"My poor father:"
There is something so honestly grieved
in his whole air that Vera's heart smites
"Why will yon bring up this discussion
-::! and again?" she says, with re
noiseful impatience. "Why not let me
toy way unquestioned, and you yours?
What am I to you when all is told? I
im outside your life I ever shall be
fes it seems to me ns tf yim were bent 1
n '.npi lling my likes and dislikes." I
"Y..u are right," says he. going closer j
:o "r, his face very paie. "I would com- '
' yon tif to more than like me."
"'"oinpei:" She has drawn back from
3im. and her eyes, now uplifted, look de
a:i' e into his.
"If I could," supplements he, gently.
lie turns and leaves the room.
While the two girls were discussing, in
frightened way. the result of Grisclda's
imprudence, Seaton was having a tussle,
tharp and severe, with his father.
"They are all alone in the world.' 'he
"Yes, yes." acknowledges the old man
with a frown. "Except for me," hastily;
' I alone came to their rescue."
"That is true. It was quite what I
should have expected of youl"
"Why should you expect it? There was
no reason," says the old man, sharply.
"It was of my own free will tnat I t-k
them. Do you question my kindness to
them? What more am I to do for them 5
Would you have me kneel at their Ket
and do them homage? Have I not ex
plained to you how desirous I am of mak
ing one of them my daughter? Ha! 1
iave you there, I think! Is not that af
fection? Am I not willing to receive
her? You should best know."
"Yes," says the young man, stonily, hie
eyes on the ground.
"Why, look you; I would give her ever
you! You! My son! My one possession
that has any good in it!"
"You must put that idea out of your
bend once for all. I could not combat
t dislike active as hers."
"Her dislike? Hers? That beggar!"
his face working. "What d'ye mean, sir!
I tell yon it shall be! Shall!"
"Talking like that will not mend mat
ters. It certainly will not alter the fact
that I myself personally am objection
able to her. I can see that it is almost
as much as she can do to be civil to me
to sit at the same table with me. I en
treat you not to set your heart upon this
thing, for it can never be."
"I tell you again that it shall!" shrieks
the old man, violently. "What! is the
cherished dream of a lifetime to be set
aside to suit the whim of a girl, a penni
less creature? She shall be your wife,
I swear it, though I have to crush the
consent out of her." He falls back clum
sily into his chair, a huddled heap.
Seaton in an agony of remorse and fear
hangs over him, compelling him to swal
low a cordial lying on the table near.
"Here, sir. Be patient. All shall be
as you wish. I implore you to think no
more of this matter. Yes," in answer to
the fiery eyes now more ghastly than
ever in the pallid, powerless face, "I
shall try my best to fulfill your desire."
He feels sick at heart as be says this,
and almost despicable; but can he let the
old man die for want of a word to ap
ette the consuming rage that har
brought death hovering with outstretch
ed wings above him? And yet, of what
avail is it all? A momentary appease
ment. Even as he comforts and restores
his father, there rises before his mental
vision that pale, proud, sorrowful face,
that is all the world to him, and yet,
alas! so little.
Vera having made up her mind to go
to her uncle and fully explain to him that
neither she nor Griselda desire any
change in their way of living, waits pa
tiently for Seaton's departure from his
father's den, and now, at last, seeing
ihe const clear, goes quickly forward.
"Uncle Gregory, I wish to say some
thing to you," she is beginning, hurried
iy. hating her task and hating her hearer,
when suddenly she is interrupted.
"Hah! For the first time, let me say
I am glad to see you," says the old man.
grimly. "Hitherto I have been remiss,
I fear, in such minor matters of eti
quette. Sit down. I, too, have something
to say to you." He fixes his piercinf
eyes on her and says, sharply: "You have
met my son several times?"
"Yes," says Vera.
"You like him?" with a watchful
"I ran hardly say so much." coldly
'He is neither more nor less than a coai
dele stranger to me."
"As yet. Time will cure that; an 1 .
-peak thus early to yon. because it if
well that you should make up your mini:
beforehand to like him."
"Why?" she asks.
"Because in him you see your futurt
There is a dead pause. The old mar
sits with bright unblinking eyes fixec
upon the girl, who has risen to her feel
and is staring back at him as if harillj
hiring to understand. From red to white,
from white to red she grows; her breath
fails her, passionate indignation burns
hot within her breast.
"Absurd!" she says, contemptuously.
"Call it so if you will," with an offend
?d flash from his dark eyes, "but regard
.t as a fact for all that. You will marry
your cousin, let me assure you."
"That I certainly shall not," decisive
"That you certainly shall. Did yot
not know that your marriage with mj
son was the last wish, the last couimaau
of your father?"
He is lying well, so well that at firsl
the girl forgets to doubt htm.
"My father?" she says, with much
amazement. "He never so much as men
tinned my cousin's name to me."
"To me, however, he did. Do you wi6l
to see the letter?"
This is a bold stroke. Vera hesitates
theu, "No." says she, steadily. "Ever
if my father did express such a wish, I
should not for a moment accede to it. I
shall not marry to please any one. dead
ir livHng, except myself.
"So you now think. We shall see, re
turns he, in an icy tone.
"May I ask if if your son is aware ol
-My son is willing," says Mr. Dysart
i,0u'rthis moment the door is thrown
open and Seaton himself enters.
"You know!" she cries. Her tone Is
low, but each word rings clear as a bell.
"You know! Oh. coward!" she breathes
verv low. her slender hands clinched.
Iluufed from his lethargy and stung by
her contempt, he would now
his defense, but with a "'"Ljf'X
she wave, him aside and leaves thf
"Great heaven! how did you dare so to
insult her?" cries the young man id ter
rible agitation. Mlh&JZ
casts a burning glance at him. Djsart
cowers before it. .... i.
Out of evil comes good." he says, sul
lenly. "and I did it for the lst. IB.
Mretche. out his hand to him too. See.
then," he cries, entreatiugiy, "I did it foi
you for you!"
"For me! You ruin the one hope I
had, which meant silence time and yot
say it was for my good!"
"I thought to compel her, to frighter
her into a consent, and I wUl yet." criet
he, eagerly. "Nay. Seaton. do not lool
thus upon me. I have not betrayed yov
without meaning, and all for the fulfill
ment ETAOIN NU I'MP NCI NUF
ing of your desire and mine."
"iou misunderstand me." says Seaton
curbing his passion with difficulty. "1
would not have her as a gift on suet
terms. Is it a slave I want, think you'.
No. not another word! I cannot stand
it to-night. Forgive me, father, if
seem abrupt, but "
He seems heartbroken as he turni
aside and disappears through the door
Cong after he has gone the old mas
sits motionless, his head bowed upon hit
"Curse her!" he says .at last; "tht
same blood all through, and always tc
my undoing! Cursed be her lot indeed il
she comes between him and me! Bui
that shall never be."
Presently he passes through a door or
his right hand, gropes his way along thi
imlighted passage. Unloc king and enter
ing an apartment here where th
strange old cabinet stands he fasteni
the door securely behind him, and goei v
quickly up to it.
Kneeling down beside it he unlocks tht
secret door, and taking out the withered
parchment opens and reads it with
feverish haste. K seems as though hi
hopes thus to slake the raging thirst foi
revenge that is tormenting him.
Long he kneels thus, conning eact
word with curious care, gloating over tht
contents of that mysterious document
bo lost is he in his perusal of it that h
f.tl. 1 - i . .
rrnneh nntTi k i J1 1 T , V
Grunch until she lays her hand upon hit
"What, don't you know it by heart
yet?" asks she, derisively.
(To be continued.)
RICHEST IN AMERICA.
THE CLAIM MADE FOR A MEXI
It Im Said that the Number and Value
of Ilia Poaaemiona la Far Beyond the shot was heard and another deputy
Wealth of VanderbUta, Astora, Kocke- j went to the ground. At this rate every
fellei-H or Goulds. ' maa ,n the P"98 would be cut down
without a ghost of a chance of getting
If you believe one of the Roiuanys of ; Bhot- The deputies, therefore, sep
Uilwaukee then the richest man iu , Brated and began to scour the brush. A
North America is not one of the Vunder- ; Sllnt of """"hlne playing on the blue
bilts, Astors or Rockefellers. but a teel of, WIncbwter disclosed
sitnou pure gypsy, whose name is .Im- I rom Ketchum s Position behind a big
pie John Smith. He lives in Mexico, is
SO years old and the owner of countless
acres, of myriads of cattle and sheep, of
gold, silver and onyx mines, of railway
and bunk stock and of plantations with- !
out number in the heart of Mexico's j
richest siates. '
Smith's wealth has never been figured !
tip. He cannot tell himself. His sole I
ambition is to become the richest man !
in the world. And it is this hope that
keeps him vigorous and drives dull car,
away. John Smith has no settled Louie. He
lias a hundred homes on his different
estates, and he moves from one to
another. In each he sees what Is going
on, uud gives his orders. Then he
moves on again. The Milwaukee gypsy,
a solid business man, who comes home
now with the story of John Smith's
amazing wealth, saw him at Orizaba.
They became great friends.
"God aloue knows how rich I am. "
saiil Smith, simply, "but I think I am
the richest man on the continent."
Smith was plainly dressed In a suit of
Knglish tweed, with hobnail shoes. Hut
his home was a revelation. Outside it
was a veritable fortress, with stout
wallsof masonry, loopholed fordefense,
if necessary. A two-story wall Inclose I
it in a space as big as two blocks, and
a great moat surrounded that. The.e
were the regulation drawbridges ami
Two massive inner doors barred the
last entrance. Once open it was a
wonderful place, with a courtyard in
the center, where played perfumed
fountains and where a beautiful ganl. n
grew. The entire luclosure was paved
with brilliantly polished onyx the
ransom of a king ill cost taken from
one of his mines. Even the stables
where Smith's herd of pet Jerseys w. r
housed had the same costly flooring of
Servants lounged about, but one of
the old man's eccentricities was to have
his own children wait upon him at
table. It was an Incongruous picture
to see him clattering around on the
splendid flooring in his coarse suit and
hobnails, while a soft light fell on the
strange scene shed by great candelabra
of solid gold from his mines.
Smith is an English gypsy. He went
:o Mexico before there were any rail
ways there, and was the first man tj
haul machinery from the coast to the
gold mines which now yield him an in
calculable income. He got in on the
ground floor on everything that has
made Mexico so rich to-day.
But his life has been a series of ad
ventures. Twice he has been shot down
by Mexican thieves who attacked ins
gold trains. He was left for dead each
time. All the gypsies in Mexico are
wonderfully proud of him and cnll him
"Our Joun." Milwaukee Cor. St. Louis
She If I were a man I would never
rest untli I had become a hero. It
seems to me every man who is a man
ought to do something heroic at least
once In his life.
He Well, I don't know but that
you're right I think myself that every
man ought to be a hero once in a while
She-Then why don't you have the
courage of your convictions?
He-I have. Didn't I walk clear
dowTthe aisle to the front pew with
uowu luc 'D . .
half through with his sermon last Sun -
Shirts of Bark.
The Indians of the interior of Bolivia
wear shirts and bats made of the bark
of a tree, wh'ch is soaked In water to
soften the fiber and then beaten tc
make It pliable.
rfce Daring Leader of Black Jack'
Gang of Bandita,
The notorious leader of the Infunout
'Black Jack's" gang of train robbers
and murderers, Tom Ketcuum, is now
In the penitentiary at Sasta Fe. N. M.
Tom held up a train single-handed and
In the aequel to this was wounded and
It was the Colorado Southern epresi
tat Tom held up. The place selected
iv as near Folsom, on the northeast
corner of New Mexico. One night as
the express was puffing laboriously up
trade the engineer saw a light ahead
giving the signal to stop. When the
train slowed down Tom Ketchum
lumped Into the cab and, carelessly
twinging a 45 Colt near the engineer's
aose, told him to obey all orders given
during the next few minutes. This,
Tom said, would save heartaches in the
engineer's home and the Intrusion of an
undertaker In the family circle. Then
he jumped off and tried to uncouple the
engine, which was made impossible by
the steep grade. Failing In this, Tom
walked back to the Wells-Fargo ex
press car and, thumping the door with
the butt of his Colt, demanded admit
tance. The messenger opened the door
snd poked the muzzle of a Winchester
out Into the dark and pulled the trigger.
That put an end to the hold-up that
night Just how badly Tom was shot
is not known, for he was wounded In a
subsequent battle with United States
Marshal Foraker's posse and he will
not say how much damage the messen
ger did. As he declared the hold-up oft
It Is probable he was severely Injured.
T,A Avnvnfo nitllnfl An r r A Tj..n Inmnttlt
ui.cva nun j
h'9 broncho and sought safety In the
The attempted robbery was bool
cnown to the officials, and three days
ater Marshal Foraker's men were
! bunting for Tom in the uplands. They
, finally hit the trail and followed It back
Into the very heart of the mountains.
I Here they lost It and while discussing
the best more a report of a rifle spilt
j the air and one of the deputies fell out
of his saddle. This was sufficient evi
I dence of Tom's presence In the vicinity,
'. but not his exact whereabouts, as Tom
'used smokeless cartridges. Another
, u, u. u.uwoou
Then tbeday's proceedings began. The
leputles shot at that glint of sunshine
playing along blue eteel; Tom shot at
the deputies. The deputies dodged be
hind trees and rocks and shot wildly.
Tom stayed where he was and made
bull's-eyes. If Tom hadn't shoved his
right arm a little too high in taking
aim he would have brought down a full
mess of deputies. As It was a slug of
lead as big as your finger tore through
Tom's shooting member, and It took
t few minutes to change his Winchester
ver to bis left arm. In these short
minutes the deputies closed in on Tom
tnd captured him. He was in a bad
shape. His right arm was terribly
broken and torn and he was already
suffering from loss of blood. But he
was game. He offered to take his left
rm and begin the performance all over
again, which proposition was respect
fully declined. The next day when he
was able to be moved Tom was strapped
to his broncho and taken to a train, ul
timately landing In the penitentiary
hospital at Santa Fe.
Of "Black Jack's" gang of thieves and
cutthroats Tom Ketchum was the lead
er. He was 35 years old. and !n Texas,
his native State, he is known as the
new Jesse James. He stands 5 feet 10
Inches In his stocking feet and Is built
on the graceful lines of a tiger. He Is
s void of conscience as the Winchester
he carried. He would rather shoot a
man than eat; if the man be an officer
of the law it was more fun to kill him
than to go to a dance. One of his boy
hood pastimes was to hide In 'some con
venient place on the ranch in Texas and
shoot Mexican herdsmen. When a lad
he was summoned as a witness In a
awsuTt; and not knowing what the
summons meant, and not caring to take
any chances, shot and killed the officer.
After this he found it convenient to
change his residence, so he rode up Into
New Mexico and Arizona. Here be soon
became a terror to everybody in gen
eral and railroad and express com
panies In particular. He admits In a
roundabout way that since 1886 he and
his gang have stolen from postofflcas.
trains, stages and wayfarers 9300,000
and killed 200 men.
There Is not a single garden vege
table that has not a medicinal quality
ide lt".fd Jhe fin
luulK l" ,lu S .TT
nd M d,fln Th!n T"
have rhubarb, which counteracts the
of the usual heavy meat diet of
... . , '
winter and clears the system of some
rheumatism and other painful maia
dies. RadMhes are good for stomach
I troubles, dandelion greens make a good
blood purifier, horse radish Is a tonic
md makes the appetite good. Onions
;ure colds and bring sweet sleep, and
elery and lettuce soothe the Irritated
Berres. Carrots are good for scrofulous
nnimctat owmmbsn ars
and cooling, notwithstanding the bad
reputation they have, and parsley Is
known as a palliative in cases of drop
sy. The whole list of vegetables might
be named and a positive medicinal
value given to each of them.
LI HUNG CHANG'S WEALTH.
Ways in Which He Accumulated Hit
IA Hung Chang, the most cousplcuout
Chinese of the age, is often called the
richest man In the world. One way In
which LI for many years made an
enormous sum of money was to use
thousands of soldiers In his own pri
vate enterprises without paying them
a cent for their labor. In the course of
time he purchased extensive estates iu
the rice-growing regions and raised
more bushels of rice every year Than
the bonanza farmers of North Dakota
used to raise of wheat. He got hli
labor for nothing, and his great crop
of rice was almost clear profit. He
simply turned his soldiers loose In the
rice fields, and they had to be content
with the rations and the miserable pit
tance paid to them by the government
The great man also became his own
contractor for army supplies. He
would sell his own rice to the go em
inent for army rations at an enormous
profit, and pocketed a handsome rake
off on all other supplies furnished to
the tens of thousands of soldiers In the
Pechlli province. Then he was chief
supreme of the custom bouses for a
long distance around the Gulf of
Fechlll, and there was nothing mean
about the stream of gold that poured
into his strong-box through this chan
nel. It has long been notorious that
one of the methods he employed was
to Import large quantities of goods
through his agents without the pay
ment of a cent of duty, and then sell
the goods at a round figure to his coun
trymen. This method of money-making
finally involved the old gentleman
In troubles, charges were made against
him, and he came near losing bis official
bead; but his power was so great and
his real services to the state were so
valuable that be was almost Invulner
able tn spite of the many enemies who
have always been ready to accuse him.
One of his great sources of money
getting employed by Li Hung Chang
during the later years of his career as
Viceroy was as a money lender. '1 here
Is little doubt that he was the king of
pawnbrokers the world over. His loan
offices were scattered far and wide
over his province, and he loaned great
sums of money on mortgages and on
pledges of personnl property. In a coun
try where no legal rate of interest is
fixed this business has brought enor
mous returns to Li Hung Chang.
TWO DROMiOS IN REAL LIFE.
This Time They Are Women and Are
Afraid to Meet.
There are two Chlogo women whe
arc anxious to meet and yet afraid of
each other. They have never seen each
other, even at a distance, and would
probably go blocks out of their way to
dodge each other. The reason of all
this is their remarkable resemblance.
Each Is stopped on the street by people
who take her for the other. The clerks
In the big dry-goods stores get mixed
over them. They have several friends
in common, who are always making
mistakes and telling about them. One
lives on the South Side and one on the
West, and they move In entirely differ
ent "sets;" this accounts for the fact
that they have never met.
Now both these women are handsora
and stylish, and well groomed. In this
fact lies the reason of their being afraid
to meet. Each fears to find the other
better looking or better dressed or more
attractive. It really has come to such
a pass that neither ventures to go shop
ping without making a swell toilet.
What was at first considered a good
Joke has come to be a serious matter,
and has set the nerves of both wemen
The common friends are now schem
Ing to bring tbeai together. They ar
gue that two women so much alike
should be the warmest sort of friends.
But It does not take much of a student
of human nature to predict that they
are wrong. Chicago Inter Ocean.
"Why do they call that trick bicycle
rider Asbestos T
"Because he doesn't scorch." Bis
Htrup from Georgia Melons.
An enterprising Georgia farmer has
become the pioneer in a new Industry
namely, making sirup out of water
melons. He cuts the melons In halves,
scoops out the pulp, runs It through a
cider mill, presses out the Juice and
then boils the liquid for twelve hours
over a hot fire. Out of 270 melons,
worth $5 or $6 at wholesale, he gets
thirty gallons of sirup and markets the
product at 60 cents per gallon. The re
fuse Is fed to the hogs, cattle and
chickens, and the whole operation It
Origin of Boars.
Just when the day became divided
Into hours Is not known; nor is the
process explained. The Greeks and
Romans measured time by the water
glass and the sun dials. The hour-glass
filled with sand was the outgrowth of
these vessels from which the water
tripped' through tiny opetOnga,
LI HUXU CHANO.
Rhym-s of a Spelling R 'ftoriner.
A fisherman sat on the quay
Partaking of afternoon tuay;
When a lady came by
Who winked with one y.
And whispered: "No sugar for muay."
A grand old bootmaker of Hawarden
Used to spend the whole day in his
When his friends askt him why
He lookt up at the sky.
But only replied: "Beg your pa warden."
It is said that Nathaniel Ffiennes
Lived wholly on bread and broad
bbiennes; Wheu invited to eat
But a morsel of meat
He answered: "Just think what it
A thoughtful young butcher named
Had a teuder and sensitive sowll;
When he slaughtered a sheep
He always would weep
And pay for a funeral towll.
A sailor, who sported a queue.
Was civil to all that he knueue;
If be came under fire
He used to retire
And say, with a bow: "After yueue."
The Dowager Duke of Buccleugh
Was famous for Irish steugh;
When asked: "Do you use
Any onion in stuse?"
He cautiously answered: "A feugh."
A groom of the royal demense
Was the finest old man ever sesne;
But he kept out of sight
In the ditch day and night.
For fear of annoying the quesne.
The amiable Commodore Uaigh
Set sail down the channel one daigb;
When asked: "Do you know
Which direction to go?"
He answered: "I'm feeling my waigh."
One autumn the Marquis of Steynes
Shot a partridge with infinite peynes;
Then he cried: "I'm afraid
Of the havoc I've maid!
See only one feather remeynes!"
On one occasion the Prince of Wales
visited a Hindoo school In Madras. The
youngsters had been drilled into the
propriety of saying "Your royal high
ness" should the prince speak to them,
and when the heir-apparent accosted a
bright-eyed lad, and, pointing to a pris
matic compass, asked. "What Is this?"
the youngster, all In a flutter, replied:
"It's a royal compass, your prismatic
Robert Hilliard, the actor, brought a
young Englishwoman to see "EI Ca pi
tan." She was much impressed with
I)e Wolf Hopper, and remarked: 'Viiat
a charming man your Mr. Hopper Is
Tell me. Is he married V "Been mar
ried three times," was the reply. "Three
times!" she repeated; "and they are all
dead?" "No," was the answer; "di
vorced." "Ah!" she rejoined, "I see;
he is a Grass-Hopper."
A young lady, who had greatly en
joyed John Kendrick Bangs' "House
boat on the Styx," thought It only Just
to write a few lines expressing her de
light. She ended her letter with: "I
did so much enjoy your 'Houseboat on
the Sticks.' " Mr. Bangs politely an
swered: "Dear Miss: If you have stud
ied mythology, and without doubt you
have, you will realize that considering
the ungodly heat where those Styx are
supposed to be located, it would be im
possible for them to support the house
boat until my lines were finished. Yours
truly, J. K. B."
The late Hall McAllister some years
"a mtain(ii vigitip" scientist at
the Union Club, before its amaigauiu
tlon with the Pacific, and during tin
evening a particularly foggy one--made
some whimsical remark convey
ing the Idea that fog was an excellent
conductor of sound. The scientist took
exception to this novel theory and asked
Mr. McAllister on what It was based.
"On phenomena which we have all ob
served." returned the ready jurist; "on
an evening like this we hear the fog
horn quite-distinctly, but when there is
no fog we cannot hear it at all."
An Iowa judge recently related an
amusing incident that had occurred In
his court when a colored man was
brought up for some potty offense. The
charge was read, and as the statement.
"The State of Iowa against John
Jones." was rend In a loud voice, the
colored man's eyes bulged nearly out of
their sockets, and he 6eemed overcome
with terror and astonishment. When
he was asked if he had anything to say,
or pleaded guilty or not guilty, he
gnsped out: "Well, yo' honab, ef de
whole State o' Iowa Is agin this one
pore nigger, I'se gwlne to give up right
Disraeli, It Is said, laughed only once
In the House of Commons. Gladstone
had made an Impassioned speech in
favor of the union of Wallachia and
Moldavia. Disraeli pointed out that the
result would be the extinction of the
Independence of these people, and the
only thing left would be the remorse
"which would be painted with admira
ble eloquence by the rhetorician of the
day." In reply, Mr. G'adstone said that
he would not be guilty of the affected
modesty of pretentlng to be Ignorant
that that designation, "the rhetorician
of the day," was intended for himself
Mr. Disraeli Interrupted with the re
mark: "I beg your pardon; I really did
not mean that." Gladstone's face ex
pressed amazement and Indignation,
and Disraeli sat down with a satisfied
smile that told of his enjoyment
Paris Exposition Admission Fees.
The admission fees to the Paris ex
position will be before 10 a. m., 2
francs, or about 40 cents, to the entire
exhibition; between the hours of 10 a.
m. and 6 p. m., a franc will be the
charge, and after 6 p. m., on week days,
2 francs, while on Sundays the fee Is
not to be raised for the evening hours
A good policy for all is to marry
young and grow old together.
Rev. Dr. Calmagc
labjact: Cauacllyto SleepIt Is the Poor
Mao's BleMlagWurde or Comfort Por
the Victims or fneoinala- Wakefulness
a Means of Grace.
(Oapjrrlbt, Louis Klopech. 19O0-1
Washisgto, D. C la this dlsooarse
Dr. Talmage treats of a style ot disor.lur
not much discoursed npon and unfolds
what most be a consolation to many people;
text, Psalms Ixxvil., 4, "Thou holdest mine
Bleep is the vaoation ot the sonl; It is the
mind gone intotbe playground of dreams;
It is the relaxation of the muscles and the
solace of the nerves: It Is the hush of ac-
tivitie.; it Is the soft curtaining of the eyes;
It Is a trance of eight hours; It Is a calm
ing ot the pulses; It Is a breathing much
slower, though far deeper; it is a tempor
ary oblivion of all earking cares; it Is the
dootor recognized by all schools of medi
cine; it Is a divine narootlo; it is a com
plete anesthetic; it Is an annul of the
night; it is a great mercy ot God for the
human race. Lack ot It puts patients on
the rack of torture, or In the rami house, or
in the grave. O blessed sleep! No wonder
the Bible makes much ot It. Through sleep
so sound that a surgical Incision of the side
of Adam did not waken him came the best
temporal blessing ever afforded to
man wifely companionship. While In
sleep on a pillow ot rock Jacob
saw a ladder set up, with angels comln?
down and climbing. So "Ha glveth His
beloved sleep," soliloquized the psalmist.
Solomon listens at tbe door of a tired
workman and eulogizes bis pillow by say
ing, "The sleep ol a laboring man Is
sweet." Peter was calmly sleeping be
tween the two constables that night be
fore his expected assassination. Christ
was asleep In a boat on Onlllee when
tossed In tbe euroclydon. The annuncia
tion was made to Joseph in sleep, and
death is described as only a sleep and the
resurrection as a glorious wakening out of
On the other hand, Insomnia or sleep
lessness Is an old disorder spoken ot aculn
and again in the Bible. Ahnsuerns suf
fered from It, and we rend, "in that nhrht
could not the king sleep." Joseph Hall
said ot that ruler, "He that could com
mand a hundred and seven and twenty
provinces could not command sleep."
Nebuchadnezzar had Insomnia, ami rhe
record Is, "His sleep brake from liltn."
Solomon describes this troable and says,
"Neither day nor night seeth he sleep
with bis eyes." Asaph was Its victim, for
necompiaibs in my text ttiat Bis eyes ar
open at mianignt, some mysterious powt
keeping the upper and lower Ibis from
joining, "TLbou boldest mine eyes wak
Of course there is an uprighteoua sleep,
as when Jonah, trying to escape fron
duty, slept In tbe sides ot the slilp while
the Mediterranean was in wrutli because
of that prophetic passeDffer; as when
Columbus in his first voyage, extiaiited
from being np many nights, guve the .ship
In charge of the steersman and the crew,
who, leaving tbe management of the ves
sel to boys, went to sleep ami allowed the
ship to strike on the pnnd bunks ot Kt.
Thomas; as wbea the sentinel go4 to
sleep at his post, endangering the whole
army; as when tbe sluggard, who accom
plishes nothing the day before he wenr to
sleep and will p"- - n i
after be wakes, fills up Soloino. pioiure
of him ns be yawns out, "A little sleep and
a little slumber and a little folding ot the
bands to sleep." But sleep at the right
time and amid tbe right circumstances,
can you imagine iTiytbliiir more blesse l?
If sleep, according to sncred and profane
literature, Is an emblem of death, the
mornlne to all refreshed slutnberers Is
Remark the first: If you li.ive esc:ire:.
the Insomnia spoken of In the text thank
Ood. Here and there one can com man I
sleep, and it comes tbe minute lie orders It
and departs at the minute lie wishes it to
go, as Napoleon wuelf he wrote: "DiUVreut
affars are arranged in my bed as lu draw
ers. When I wisb to Interrupt one train of
thought I close tbe drawer which contains
that subject and open that which contains
another. They do not mix together or In
convenience me. I have nev r been kept
awake by an involuntary preoccupation of
mind. When I wish for repose I shut up
all the drawers, and I am asleep. I have
always slept when I wanted rest, and al
most at will." But I think lu most cases
we feel that sleep is not tbe result of a res
olution, but a direct gift from God. You
cannot purchase it. A Kreat French finan
cier cried out, "Alas, why is there no sleep
to be sold?"
Remark tbe second: Consider amonir the
worst crimes the robbery of ourselves or
others of this mercy ot Slum her. Much
ruinous doctrine has been inculcated on
this subject. Thomas Moore gave poor ad
vice when he said, "The best wav to
lengthen our days Is to steal a few hours
from the night." We are told that, though
they did their work at night. Copernicus
lived to be seventy-three years of titfe, anil
Galilei i-eventy-elgnt years, and Herschel
eighty-four years. Yes. but the reason was
they were all star hunters, and tbe only
time for bunting stars is at nlglit. Prob
ably they slept by day. Tbe nigbt was
made for slumber. The worst lamp a stu
dent etc have Is "the midnight lamp."
Lord Brougham never passed more than
four hours of tbe night abed, and Justinian,
after one hour ot sleep, would rise from
hl coach. But yon are neither a Justinian
nor s Lord Brougham. Let not the absurd
apotheosis of early rising Induce you to
the abbreviation of sleep. Get up when
you are slept out nnless circumstances
compel otherwise. Have no alarm clock
making Its nerve tearing racket at 4
o'clock In the morning, unless special rea
sons demand tbe forsaking of your pillow
at that hour. Most of tbe theories about
early rising we inherited from times when
fieople retired at 8 or 9 o'clock In the even
ng. Such early retirement Is Irapossihia
In our own times for those wbo are tiiklnu
part In the great activities of life. There
Is no virtue in the mere act of early rising.
It all depends upon what you do after you
get up. It would be better for the world If
some people never wakened at all.
Remark tbe third: All those ought to be
comforted who by overwork In right direc
tions have come to losomnla. In all occu
pations and professions there are times
when a special draft is made upon the ner
vous energy. There are thousands of men
and women wbo cannot sleep because they
were injured by overwork In some time of
domestic or political or religious exigency.
Mothers wbo, after taking a whole fam!ly
of children through the disorders that are
sure to strike the nursery, have been le.'t
physical wrecks, and one entire night of
slumber Is to them a rarity. If not an im
possibility. Tbe attorney at law, who,
through a long trial In poorly ventllutml
courtroom, has stood for weeks battling
for tbe rights of widows and orphans or
for the life of a client in whose iunocence
he Is confident, though all the circum
stances are unfavorable. In his room he
tries tbe case all nigbt long and every n:gjt
when be would like to be slumbering. Th
physician. In time of epidemic, worn ou; In
saving tbe lives of wbole families ami fall
ing In his attempts to sleep at night be
tween tbe jangllngs of his doorbell. Tbe
merchant who has experienced panics,
when the banks went down and Wall street
became a pandemonium and there was a
possibility that the next day he would be
penniless that night with no more possi
bility of gaining sleep than If such a bless
ing had never touched our planet.
Remark the fourth: Insomnia Is no sign
ot divine displeasure. Martin Luther had
distressing Insomnia and wrote. "When I
wake up in the night, tbe devfl Immedi
ately comes and disputes witn me and gives
me strange thoughts until at last I grow
enraged beyond endurance and give him
ill words." That consecrated champion
of everything good. Dr. Stephen H. Tyng,
Sr., In bis autobiography says that theoniv
encouragement be had to think be would
jleep at night was the tact that he bad cot
llept the night oetore.
Wakefulness may be an opportunity foi
Mayer, opportunity for proltable reflex-
tlon, opportunity lor Kindling orig'ic ex-
Deotatloas of the world, where there is no
night and where slumber will have no
uses. God thinks just as much of you
when you get but three or four hours of
leep as when at nigbt you get elgat or
Remark tbe fifth: Let all Insomnlstt
mow for their consolation that some
people sleep more rapidly than others, as
much In one hour ns others do In two, and
hence do not require as long a time In un
consciousness. In a book on the subject of
health years aero I saw this f.ict stated by a
celebrated medical scientist: Some people
do everything quick they eat quick, they
walk quick, they think quick, and ot
course tbey sleep quick. An express train
can go as far in thirty minutes as a way
train In sixty minutes. I'eople of rapid
temperaments ought not to expect a whole
night to do tbe work of recuperation which
slow temperaments require. Instead ot
making it a matter of Irritation and alarm
be a Christian philosopher and set down
this abbreviation of somnolence as a matter
Remark tbe sixth: Tbe aged Insomnlsts
ihould understand that If their eyes are
held wakiug they do not require as much
sleep as once they did. Solomon, wo In
knowledge was thousands ot years ahead
of his time in his wondrous description ot
old age, recognizes this fact. He not only
speaks of the difficulty of mastication on
the part of the aged when be says, 'Fbe
grluders cease because they are few," and
of the octogenarian's caution In getting up
a bidder or standing on a scaffolding, say
ing, "They shall be nfral.l of that which is
hiuti," and speaks of the whiteness of the
bair by comparing it to a tree that has
white blossoms, saying, "Tbe almond tree
shall flourish," and speaks of the spinal
cord, which is the color of silver, snd whloh
relaxes In old age, giving the tremor to
the head, saying, "The silver cord
be loosed." But be soys of tbe
aged, "He shall rise up at tbe voice ot
tbe bird;" that is about half past 4
in the summer time, an appropriate hour
for tbe bird to rise, for be goes to his
nest or bough at half past 7 In tbe evening.
But tbe human mechanism bas been so
arranged that after it bas been running a
good while a change takes place, and in
stead of the almost perpetual sleep of the
babe and tbe nine hours requisite In mid
life six hours will do for the Hged, and "be
shall rise up at t e voice of the bird." Let
all aged men and women remember that
tbey have been permitted to do a great
leal of sleeping In their time and that il
tiiey do not sleep so well now us they used
to it Is because they do not require so much
Remark the seventh: Insomnia Is prob
ibly a warning that you had better mod
erate your work. Most ot those engaged
in employments that pull on nerve and
brain are tempted to omit necessary rest
and sleeplessness culls a halt. Even their
pleasuring turns to work. As Sir Joshua
Keyuolds, the great painter, taking awalk
with a friend, met a sun -browned peasant
boy ami said, "I oiu-t go home and de-pen
oring ot my lurant iiercmes. l ue
'browned boy suggested an im
provement In a great picture. By
the time most people buva reached
midlife. It tbey have behaved
well more doors ot opportunity open be
fore them than tbey ought to enter.
Power to decline, power to say "No,."
:bey should now cultivate. When a man
is determined to be useful and satan can
uot dissuade hitn from that course, the
great deceive- Induces him to overdone
snd in that way get rid ot him. We have
thermometers to tell the heat, and barom
eters to tell tbe air, and ometers bung la
engine rooms to tell tbe pressure of steam,
and ometers to guue and measure almost
everything. Would that some genius
would Invent an ometer which, being hung
around tbe nek and dropped over
tjg.rtijj1 , --r xmW by. the pulsa-
cloTj-"- respiration, tell whetlier"Dnp
Is uttder too great pressure or might c-arry
mora. All brain workers would want suci
in ometer and want it right away. For
tbe lack of It how many are dvlng and bow
many have died of overwork? A prominent
financier who recently departed this life
was an officer In over 100 tlnam-hil and
charitable institutions. Thousands ot
editors, of lawyers, of physicians, ot
merchants, of clergymen, are now dying
of overwork. Do not be in the board of
directors of more than three banks uud
two trust companies and live life and
nre Insurance establishments. Do not
as pastor preach more than three ser
mons a Sunday and superintend your
own Sabbath-school and conduct a
Bible class the same day. Do not edit
a paper and write for three mngar.lnes
and go to lour public dinners where you
will be called to make a speech more than
four times a week. Do not go so deep in
to the real estate business that before
spring all the real estate you will really
possess wlil be a piece of ground about six
feet long and three feet wide. Your In
somnia is the voice of nature, the voice of
God, saying, "Better slow us!" Stop that
long, swift train, the wheels of which are
taking tire from tbe velocity and smoking
with the hot box. Do not burn the candle
at boti ends. Do not under too many
burdens sweat like a camel trudging from
Aleppo to Damascus. Do not commit sui
cide. Remark the eighth: All tbe victims ot
insomnia ought to be consoled with tbe
(act that they will have a good, long sleep
after a while. Sacred and profane litera
ture again and again speak of that lust
sleep. God knew that tbe human race
would be disposed to make a great ado
about exit from this world, a id so He in
spires Job and David and Daniel and John
and Paul to call that condition "sleep."
When at Bethany tbe brother wbo was tbe
support of his sisters after their father and
motber were gone had himself expired,
Christ cried out In regatd to him,
' He Is not dead, but sleepeth." Cheer
tDg thought to all poor sleepers, for
that will be a plaasant sleep, in
duced by no narcotic, disturbed by 20
frightful dream, interrupted by no harsh
sound. Better than any sleep you ever
took, O child ot God, will be tbe lost tieeo.
In your slumbers your home may be In
vaded by burglars and your treasures car
ried off, but while here and there. In one
case out ot millions, the resurrectionist
may disturb tbe pillow of dust tbe last
sleep Is almost sure to be kept from Inva
sion. There will be no burglary of the tomb.
And it will be a refreshing sleep. You have
sometimes risen In tbe morning more weary
than when you laid down at night, but
waking from the sleap of whloh 1 speak
the last fatigue, the last ache, the last
worrlment, will be forever goue. Ob, what
a refreshing sleep!
So my bearer, my reader, "Good nightl"
Hay God give yoj such sleep to-night as
is best for you, and If you wake too soon
may He fill your soj'. with reminiscences
and expectations th&t will be better t ban
slumber. Good nigbt! Having in prayer,
kneeling at the b6dside, committed your
self and all yours t j the keeping of tbe
slumberlnss God, faar nothing. The
pestilence that waiketb tn darkness wl'.l
no; cross your doorst.ll, aud you need no',
be afraid of evil ilJIngs. Good nightl
May you have D) such experience as
Job bad when he suid. "Vbon scHrest
me with dreams anl terriles ru3 throuifh
visions." If you diestn it a", may It be a
vision of reunions .nl congratulations,
and, waking, may you II nil some o! them
true. Good night! And wl.ea voa ?ome
to the best sleep, the blissful s.eap, tbe last
sleep, may you be abie to turn tnd say to
all tbe cares and fatigues and bereave
ments and pangs ot a lifetime, "Good
niKbtl" and your kindred, standing around
your Illumined pbiow, give you hopeful
though sorrowful farewell as you move out
from their loving embrace Into the bosom
of a welcoming God. Goui nightl Good
Failure is merely tbe leaving un
done, or badly done, those things
which should have been done, and done
Goor actions crown themselves with
lasting days; who deserves well, needs
not another's praise.
Forgiveness is a high quality, an
The first to do, if you have not done
It, Is to fall in love with your work.
Nobility doesn't come by birth any
more than beautv does.
Count your troubles, and you will
fall down in the dust. Count your
mercies, and you will get up and shout. ' ,
. -; - P -"
' . "
'x ' '.
i- y. .