MEDIOCRITY'S SOLACe.
There min't any laurels a-waitin' for him;
H'U never be famous (or wealth.
But his smile's always bright an' his
eye's never dim,
He's the picture of comfort and health.
Be was honest and cautions and counted
the cost.
He kep' his ambition well trained.
He'd never wade Into a scheme an' get
lost.
He could always come in when it
rained.
Tam't mostly the fellow who struggles
to seise
The colors that glow in the sky
Who one day finds comfort an' 11 Tea at
his ease,
He's apt to git lost by an by.
When glory's passed 'round an' when
eloquence flows
I won't feel no envious pains;
I'm content to be hailed as the party who
knows
Enough to come in when it rains.
Washington Star.
1
CUPID IN A CYCLONE
E8
QALASTA looked wistfully out of
y her amall-paned window, deep
. set In the heavy sod wall, and
sighed.
The piles of unwashed dinner dishes
over which she was at work hardly ac
counted for that sigh and the view
without was pleasant, rather tl.an
otherwise.
It was a Sunday afternoon In the late
June, hot and unusually still for that
windy country, but the rolling
stretches of prairie grass and the green
fields of young wheat and corn still
held the freshness of early spring.
But the cloud, "no larger than a
man's hand," is always present In some
form or other.
One was at that moment rising hull)
on the western horizon, over the low,
green hills, just a faint summer cloud,
unseen by the girl, whose eyes were
fixed on a nearer and, to her, much
more attractive object. This, as Is apt
to be the case when maidens sigh, was
a young man, who, on the other side
of a barbed-wire fence, some little dis
tance away, was busily engaged In
washing his buggy, which was rolled
In front of his own little sod house.
He was of middle size, dark-haired
and featured, like herself, and clad In
the careless costume of overalls and
Jacket of blue denim, and dingy from
exposure to sun and weather, and the
battered sombrero of light felt, which
were usual In his everyday occupation
of farming.
As any one familiar with that part of
the country could tell at a glance, they
were young Bohemians, members of
that great army of hardy settlers who
have made homes for themselves in
the previously untitled west.
But hearts will be hearts in every
place and Juliet may pine for her Ro
meo In ancient castle no more than in
humble sod house, as did this com
monplace little heroine, with her plain
but kindly face.
Now, by custom immemorial Sunday
Is the rural holiday everywhere and it
Is especially so among our foreign
born citizens, who on that day sally
forth, clad In their best, ready for
jty between x
and
e.ii,
ihass In the morning and a
the afternoon and evening.
So, considering this, It seemed that
the young settler, Albrecht Hollub,
should be on pleasure bent, and the
signs Indicated, too, that so he was, or
soon should be. Herein lay the sting
which changed for her the sunshine of
that glorious June day to gloom.
For Albrecht was "going riding" In
his new buggy going without her. and,
do doubt, with some other girl when
it was really her place on that seat be
side him.
And had she not proudly occupied it
pntll that unlucky night not yet two
weeks ago, but seeming half a lifetime,
as a girl's short Uftime goes?
Such a little thing, too, as Is gener
ally the case, to have caused all this
trouble. She was not sure how Al
brecht felt Perhaps he was glad to
get rid of her here two great tears
tropped into the dishpan at the thought
Just a dance at a young friend's wed
dins--it being their custom for a bridal
party to go to a Justice or county Judge
to have the ceremony performed, and
then to return to the bride's home for
ft grand celebration, which usually last
ed all night Then a foolish quarrel.
when Albrecht heated by excitement
and beer, had insisted that she danced
too often with the bride's elder brother.
She had refused to listen to him, of
course, with the result that he had
walked out into the darkness and had
never seen her since.
Perhaps she had sought covertly, and
no doubt awkwardly, to find an op
portunity of making amends, but be
had Ignored or avoided her, though they
lived on adjacent claims; hence, for
ber, at least bitter days and nights.
She felt vaguely, in ber simple fashion,
the harness of the woman's code which
bids her "wait and weep" in silence, a
rule that has broken many besides
country hearts like hers. And all this
time the cloud In the west was rising.
It looked much like a puff of black
smoke now, and there were others, not
k dark, climbing up beside It -
The dishes were finished and put
awnr In the kitchen "Mfe" or cud-
Ooarar 'ana the' gril sat clown ty her
window she was very fond of that
window In those days and gazed ab
sently out The landscape was left
desolate to her, for Albrecht had dis
appeared, probably to attire himself for
his outing.
Her father nodded In the shady door
way over his long, curved pipe. In the
Inner room her mother discoursed
volubly to her second daughter In ber
native tonrae. which Is never fot
ten bv the "old people," at least The
shouts of the numerous younger chil
dren came from without where they
romped among the farm wagons and
machinery, and the horses and cattle
grazed contentedly on the fenced-in
prairie that formed the pasture. It
was all homely, but peaceful, and pres
ently the girl's eyes, heavy with unac-
sustomed vigils, closed. She did not
see the cloud rapidly swelling and tak
ing on the ominous shape dreaded by
the prairie dwellers, the so-called
funnel form, which in this case was a
much flattened one.
It seemed but a few minutes later
w hen Vlasta roused abruptly in dazed
bewilderment A distant shout on
of alarm and warning, seemed echoing
in her ear. How dark it had grown
And there were Albrecht and his llttlt
old mother, who kept his house, stand
ing before their door, exclaiming and
gesticulating wildly. At the same mo
ment there came a rush of furious
wind, bringing the sound of a low.
menacing roar, while the mass of dusky
green cloud seemed to quit the horizon
and start swiftly on an earthward
path.
Vlasta guessed Instantly the peril
threatened, and sprang np with a ter
riftfd cr.
Sly tether, mother, quick I The cy
clone! The cyclone V
Then followed wild confusion,
screaming children running to their
parents, frantic exclamations, bustle
and hurry.
Whither should they fly for refuge
In that hour of terror? It waa the good
mother that solved the problem with
prompt presence of mind.
"The henhouse, children! Let as run
to the henhouse!" she cried, and she
crowded her stout self and her best
feather bed. brought from the father
land, valiantly through the narrow
doorway, followed by her husband car
rying his pipe and armchair, and by
the others with whatever they chanced
to catch np, all racing through the
thick whirling dust to the designated
place of refuge.
In fact. It was the most suitable one
within their reach, being really a low
"dug-out" In the side of a small hill,
the front or open side facing south and
filled in with a sod wall, containing
only a small, rough door and a tiny
window, whose four small panes were
thickly coated with dust
In they rushed pell mell, causing wild
ilscomfitnre to the usual occupants of
this abode, which flew, fluttering and
cackling wildly, from their rude nests
and perches. The father was In the
act of closing the door after the last
one was in. when It was pushed vio
lently open from without, and Albrecht
and his mother, lacking such a shelter
of their own, flung themselves among
them.
Then the door, like that of the ark,
was shut and braced by the father's
stout sholder. And none too soon, for
the air was thick with flying debris.
There were twelve of them more souls
than the ark carried, and crowded Into
a much smaller space, but that mat
tered little at such a time.
The fowl screamed, the children
wailed, the big mother and little
mother rocked and prayed In each
ather's arms, and the father bemoaned
his farm and stock; but as for Vlasta,
the cyclone had given her what the
fates had otherwise denied, and the
uproar and danger were all dominated
by the Joy that Albrecht was again be
ilde her, so close that she could almost
feel his deep, hurried breathing.
It was but a moment, and then, with
i deafening roar, a rush of darkness,
a choking breath of sulphur, the storm
renter was upon them.
Vlasta remembered not how It hap
pened, but when she was able to e
illze anything her arms were around
Albrecht's neck and he was holding
ber to him and murmuring words of
endearment, which she felt rather than
heard. "My love, my little one though
she was as tall as be "do not fear. I
will keep thee safe I, thine own be
loved." Ylasta's pet white pullet fluttered on
their shoulders like the white-winged
love of peace. The storm went swift
ly on Its resistless way, leaving desola
tion behind.
Their houses were in ruins; their lit
tle possessions torn to pieces or scat
tered far and wide, even a large part
Df the growing crops rooted up or
ground Into the soil.
But their lives were spared, and they
are hardy and courageous. Sod houses
can soon rise again, and other crops
grow green on sunlit plains, and be
fore long In the new home there will
be "sounds of revelry by night" and
another merry ' 1dlng;.dinretii
tory elf-wina- that It Pays to 22 B,
spectral to Old People.
Perhaps the young woman who wrote
his moral story had read about that
lice girl who always looked pleasant
it the deaf and dumb man and found
lierself heiress to his large property
when his will was probated. This is
uly a supposition, of course. The
itory speaks for itself, as the reader
.vllt see:
"Mabel was a beautiful girl. Just
dawning into womanhood, and she ran
x typewriter. She helped support hei
.vidowed mother, her father having
been lost at sea many years previous to
:!ie beginning of this tale. Mabel could
?arn but little wages with her type
writing, because she waa obliged to
answer the telephone, and she couldn't
expect regular typewriter wages for
doing that. But she did not complain..
Every day when she rode down town In
an electric car she noticed an elderly
gentleman whose clothes were old
fashioned and pretty shabby. He had
a good face, but she could not help
seeing that his trousers bagged at the
knees a great deal. Other people no
ticed It too, and snickered and made
remarks, and even called him 'Old
Baggy Knees;' but Mabel never did.
She was too well brought op, for one
thing, and, besides, she had a good
heart Whenever she could she made
room on the seat for the old man, and
once when there was no room to make
she stood up and gave him her seat
After a while he talked with her, and
found out who she was and where she
lived. One day she missed him. In
fact she saw him no more. It may
have been a week or so when there
came a heavy rap at the door. It was
a man with a package. The address
was 'Miss Mabel Pinkllngton, No. 972
Skidmore place,' and Mabel opened it
with nervous haste. All it contained
was a pair of much-worn trousers and
a card which read: 'For the little wom
an who never called me Baggy Knees,
from her sincere admirer, John Tewks
bury.' Mabel laughed, but her moth
er shook out the garment and said:
That's a funny present' She felt In
the pockets, but there was nothing
there. Then she threw the trousers
across a chair and plaintively said:
'You know, Mabel, dear, that If we
cannot make the last payment on this
home to-morrow we will lose it'
"Mabel sighed heavily and answered,
'Yes, mother, we will lose it
"Just then her mother, who had been
looking at the trousers Idly, said: 'I
don't think I ever saw such baggy
knees on a human person. They look
fairly solid.' She came a little closer
and felt of them. 'I declare, they are,'
she excitedly said. She turned them
Inside out and lo! two huge wads of
$20 bills fell on the floor, one from each
knee. When they counted them up
they found there was $4,180 In the twe
bunches. Oh, but that was a happy
household! And next morning when
the cruel agent came for his money h
was given It before he could ask for it
"All of which shows that It always
pays to be good and respectful to old
persons." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Man imposes on woman, but she al
ways thinks he doesn't mean it.
The man who never tracks mud Into
the house is usually meddlesome in the
kitchen.
The man who can make other people
put us with his eccentricities is called
a philosopher.
A wise rule in conversation is nev
er to say anything that you know
somebody else wants to say
A man has to earn his dollars by
himself, but anybody he knows will
help him spend them.
The woman who worries generally
has a husband and a lot ot daughter!
who won't worrjr at alL
OUR BOYS AND GIRLS.
rHIS IS THEIR DEPARTMENT Or
THE PAPER.
Qaatnt Baying and Cat Dolnsje af the
Little Folk KvarrwhttCt Gatbared
and Prlatad Hara for AU Other Lit
Ua Oaae to Head.
When I had the measles year ago
Ma she said: "Now, Willie, dear, yo.
know
fon've got the measles, so yon must be
good.
And stay indoors as all sick children
should."
Se, I was good; the fellers used to call
an' yell for me, but I wouldn't go at all.
Because I had the measles. Jes' broke
out
As speckled as a turkey egg, about
An ma she fed me on ras'berry jam.
At we only have fer company, an' Sam
Sam, he's my brother didn't git none.
Cake
An' chicken pie an' all good things she'd
bake.
But bread an' butter'n bacon, like Sam
had.
I didn't 'cause my appetite was bad. .
Oh, notbim' was too good for me, yon
know.
When I had the measles year ago.
an' sometimes, when ma said I could, I
took
fhe great big fam'ly Bible down to look
At pictures Moses in the rushes, jes'
A little baby in a basket jef,
An' David choppin' up the gi-unt Then
rhere was old Darnel in the lions' den.
With growlln' lions, crouchin' In the
dark.
Ten times as many as at Lincoln Park.
When I had the measles year ago
3ee, I lived high; an' one day Sam, d'ye
know,
9e blubbered some because he'd had em
once;
an' I felt sorry. Pa says he's a dunce.
But I guess not; fer thinkin' of the jam
All locked up tight I quite agree with
Sam
Worst thing 'bout bavin' meaales is that
when
tou've had 'em once yon never can again.
-Chicago Record.
f hadowgrapha.
Here are some figures that any boy
r girl may make with the hands and a
ight The first Is the elephant whose
lead and trunk may thus be Imitated.
K little practice will enable you to give,
i life-like appearance to the trunk by
noving the finger back and forth.
Next Is a faithful representation of
in old soldier, who seems to be Usten
ng to the story of a campaign In which
e took part; and after blm comes an
ld lawyer, whose rnnnner indicates
.hat he has gained a point against the
counsel on the other side.
And here Is your dog. hungry and
tager, waiting for you to throw into his
pen mouth a very nice-iooKing piece
f meat
Try all these figures; with a gooti
ight a white wall, or screen, and a
areful arrangement of your hands and
Ingers, you can make them life-like
ind amusing.
In a Minute,
Ethel was out on the long plank
s harf when the dinner-bell rang. She
was feeding the cunning little baby
lucks with cracker crumbs.
"I'll go In a minute," she said to her
iclf as she broke another cracker into
tiny pieces. But the baby ducks were
hungry, and it was such fun to feed
them that Ethel forgot all about her
dinner and the big brass dinner-ttcll
lust as she had done ever so many
times before.
She bad only one cracker left when
Bruno came running down the wharf
:o see her. The old mother duck spied
lim as he came bouncing over the
planks.
"Quack!" she called loudly; and whai
lo you think? Every one of those
aby ducklings scrambled and scrub
bed, and Into the water they went with
i splash!
"Quack!" said the mother duck again,
md all the little duckies swam hur
riedly after ber and disappeared among
the rushes that grew by the edge of the
pond.
"Why!" exclaimed Ethel in astonish
ment "They didn't wait to gobble an
other piece! They minded their moth
er the very first minute she called
them!"
Very still she stood for a second,
thinking; and then she gave her basket
to Bruno, and ran quickly up the wharf,
across the street and Into the bouse.
"Late as usual!" said Brother Hal,
as Ethel came Into the dining-room
and took ber seat at table. "It's twen
ty minutes. Instead of one, that you
waited this noon," he continued, as he
ir.siK-cd nil nt the clock.
Tr.t it's the last time I'll be later
a:d Ethel, decidedly, " 'cause 'cause
it is!"
Ami Ethel kept her word. She had
learned her lesson and learned It well,
and nobody but the big white mothei
duck knew who taught It to her.
And I'm very sure that she will al
ways keep her secret Because whyl
She can't tell It that's all! Youth'i
Companion.
Rabbit Batched Thesa,
From London comes a story of a rab
bit that batched doves tggg and tbof
To
lectin the proud roster uiotner or two 1
lttle squabs. The rabbit was captured
while very, young and put among the
iovea because there seemed no better
place for It at the time. It at once
made friends with Its feathered com
panions and for some reason or another
insisted upon getting Into one of the
aests. So the sitting dove let the rab
bit attend to the Incubation of her
eggs, but after the young doves came
the mother bird again assumed control
and attended to feeding them.
Fpearlas with u.otm.
Did you ever take a cork, stick
through It a horseshoe nail, put on the
top of the cork two or three feathers,
tie a long string around the cork and
then spear for apples, or potatoes?
lust try it some time and see how
proficiently and how straight you can
learn to throw the bob In a short time.
The cork keeps the horseshoe -nail In
without slipping and the feathers serve
to guide the bob through the air.
The Escavat'on of Babylon.
German archaeologists are busy with
plans for the excavation of Babylon,
lne late Sir Austen Henry Layard, the
explorer of Nineveh, was the flrt one
to do anything In the way of excavat
ing Babylon, then Sir Henry Rawlin
Kn followed. The excavations. It ls
;latmed by the Germans, were done In
t half-hearted way, and they are de
termined that their work shall be thor
ough. It will be very costly, and It Is
estimated it will occupy five years. It
will be carried on by the Orient Society
Jointly with the Directors of the Roya
German Museum and the leader of th
sxpedtion Is Dr. Robert Koldewey, wco
has already had much experience In
such work. The expeditions will start
from Beirut going from there to Alep
do. whence they will travel by caravan
tn Rflcdad. Babylon itself Is two days'
Journey from Bagdnfl. and consists of
rough mounds scattereu on tne nanas
of the Euphrates, under which He the
ruins of a great city. The excavators
will begin with the fortress, which is
what remains of Nebuchadnezzar's pal
ace where Alexander died. In addi
tion to their excavating upon the city
site proper they will Investigate a num
ber of other ruins situated near.
Foe Couldn't Even "Crow."
A tired, sleepy, but happy group ot
Ity waifs left the cars at a country
itntiou, and were met by a somewhat
inprehcnslve knot of women, who
were to assume the care of the little
risitors for a few weeks.
Bringing up the rear of the group ot
hildren was a boy of nine years, cloth-
Mi with an air of self-confidence, but
nith little else. In his arms he held
t baby sister of such winsoineness that
here was a simultaneous movement
traoug the women, each of whom wish
Mi to engage the baby.
The boy refused to be separated from
lis charge, and critically scanned the
race of each bidder for the prize. He
inally decided In favor of a plain little
tvouian, whose body was hardly b!
nough to hold the generous heart
.vhlch had been enlarged by the care
if a numerous family of ber own.
One of the women who had wished to
:ake the baby was a showy spinster.
Although unsuccessful, she had bid
llgh. In smiles and those unintelligible
lttle cries and chirps with which wom-
n try to win the confidence of babies. 1
When the ragged brother was asked-
rhy he had not chosen to go to ber
tome, he answered, promptly:
"Oh, I spotted ber, right oft. She's no
nother. When she was trying to talk
O baby she couldn't even get the bang
i' the crow." .
Stories or Royalty.
Prince Alexander, the son of Princess
ieatrice, at the early age of 11, is giv
ng evidence of financial ability. He
ecelved a present of a sovereign from
lis mother, and, having quickly spent
t, at once applied for another. He
was gently reproved for his extrava
rance, but unabashed, wrote to ' his
crandmamma. The Queen had prob-
ibly been warned, for she replied in the
lame strain of remonstrance, wbereup
n the young prince wrote her as fol-
ows:
Dearest Grandmamma: I received
rour letter, and hope you will not think
was disappointed because you could
lot send me any money. It was very
tlnd of you to give me advice. I sold
rour letter for 4 10s."
A touching little story Is told of the
Uildhood of the Queen of Holland. She
vas brought up according to the strict
tiquette of the court, which forbade
ler Dlavlng with other children. She
aid to her wax doll one day, "If you
ire so naugthy, I shall make you Into a
irincess, and then you won't have any
ither little children to play with."
A Valnible Find.
A lad of Rhaiadr, Wales, while look
tag for foxes on the bills the other day,
iiscovered a gold ring, a gold armlet
and a gold necklet Mr. Reed, of the
British Museum, pronounfes the arti
cles to be distinctly Celtic, of exquisite
workmanship and of great antiquity,
t least 1,000 years old. According to the
law of treasureHrove, the boys will re
ceive the full antiquarian value of the
articles, less 20 per cent.
.Vewsnapers In th- British Mane (in.
The late Mr. McLean's beques t of
0.000 to. the British museum will en
able the authorities to provide adequate
room for tne files of newspapers, of
which there are about 85.Q00 volumes
already In the museum, while the year
ly accessions amount to something like
1,800 volumes.
Says a Boston girl: "It is an lncon
trovertible actuality that the anticipa
tory avis appropriates the prematurely
ictlve vermicular specimen." She
neant that the early bird catches the
worm.
Is vour breath bad? Then your
best friends turn their heads aside.
A bad breath means a bad liver.
Ayer's Pills arc liver pills. They cure
constipation, biliousness, dyspepsia,
sick headache. 25c. All druggists.
Want your moustache or beard a beautiful
(irnwn or rich black T Then u.e
BUCKINGHAM'S DYE IftisKr.
SO CTt. OT fimGG'T.,
I W. P. HIL A CO. HWUA, I
raa.e-Mi.l
(Jouak Sirup. Taataa Oood. VI
hjtime. Sow by arnainsra.
k. Li A W.'w vV
Psffl
Mrs; PlnkhAm' Medicine Mads
a New Woman of Mrs. Kuhn.
LSTraa to ass. ""ham
ao. 64W
i. DEAB MBS. PlHgHAll l inina i
my duty to write to you expressing
my sincere gratitude for the wonder
ful relief I have experienced by the use
of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound. I tried different doctors, aUu.
different kinds of medicine. I would
feel better at times, then would be
a bad aa ever. -
For eight years I waa a great suf
ferer. I had falling of the womb and
was in such misery at my monthly
periods I could not work but a little
before I would have to lie down. Your
medicine has made a new woman of me.
I can now work all day and not get
tired. I thank you for what you have
done for me. I shall always praise
your medicine to all suffering1 women.
Mas. E. E. Kuhn, Gkbmamo, Ohio.
I have taken eight bottles of Lydla
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
and used two packages of your Sana
tive Wash, also some of the Liver Pills,
and I can say that your remedies will
do all that you claim fer them. Before
taking your remedies I was very bad
with womb trouble, was nervous, had
no ambition, could not sleep, and my
food seemed to do me no good. Now I
am well, and your medicine has cured
me. I will gladly recommend your med
icine to every one wherever I go."
Mas. M. L. Sbeabs, Gua Mabsh, Mich
m . f1 la I
WHY HE LEFT COLLEGE.
It Waa All la with Hlaa Wfaea the
Bat Players Qalt.
This promising young Detrolter, six
feet in the clear, and trim as a racing
spar, went Into hi father's office the
other day and gave him a shock.
"What la there for me about the estab
lishment to dor" he began, without
prologue.
"We'll find a place for you. my boy,
when the time comes."
"But nowt What Is there nowr"
"See here, son. If you've been get
dng Into trouble and need money, say
so. Don't approach me In this round
about way. I'm no spring chicken,
and I've been over the course. Out
with It"
"I don't owe a dollar and there's
nothing to conceal from you. I can see
that there will be no more college for
me. and I'm not going to stay around
home as a deadhead."
"No more college? Someone must
lave misled you. The business was
lever more prosperous and I have
plenty. Of course you'll go back and
complete yon" course. I'U swell the al
lowance If you think best"
"No, I've concluded to cut It all and
go to work. I'm not so fickle as to take
up with another alma mater. Besides,
the other fellows would all be new. I
would have no class memories and I'd
simply be a cat In a strange garret"
"Certainly you'd not change. No one
thought of such a thing. Go back and
finish with the boys you started In
with."
'Father, you don't understand. That
institution won't last three months.
Four of the best foot-ball players have
gent word that they must drop out It
Is all up and I want a job."
Save (he Nickels.
From saving, eoaies having. Ask yonr
grooer how yon eaa save 13a by Investing
5o. He ean tell you just how yon can get
one large lOo paekage of "Bed Cross"
starch, one large lOo package of "Hubin-
gur's Beat" starch, with the premiums, two
beautiful 8bakespeare panels, printed la
twelve beautiful colors, or one Twentieth
Century Girl Calendar, all tor 6c. Ask your
grocer for this starch and obtain these
beautiful Christmas presents bee.
London Tailors Do Not Fit.
The best that can be sold of the
clothes Imported by American men
from London Is that they are well
made," said Nelson R. Huntington of
New York, who has spent years abroad
In the study of the hospitals. "They
never .fit Indeed, the art of misfit
seems to be carefully studied. The
garments of both men and , women
never set well, and even the actresses,
who are supposed to be exacting, suf
fer from the Inability or indisposition
of the English tailors to lit the figure.
The finish, however, shows fine and
thorough workmanship. The French
achieve better fits, but the work Is
atrocious, making the best garments
look cheap and hurried. Not evenim
portant buttons are secure. American
tailors and dressmakers surpass every
thing in Europe In making a fit and the
finish compares favorably with the
English. The New-Yorkers who Im
port garments made by Poole and other
fashionable Londan tailors had them
refitted by American tailors until a
year or two ago, when the latter re
fused to touch them at any price."
Philadelphia North American.
Tbe Last Opportunity.
The late Col. Robert G. Ingersoll, the
famous skeptic, told many stories of
experiences which grew out of the com
mon knowledge of his skepticism. One
jf these related to a visit which he
once made to Rev. Phillips Brooks, be
fore Doctor Brooks became a -bishop.
Calling on Doctor Brooks, he was re
fused admission because, as the ser
vant said, it was "sermon day," and
some of Doctor Brooks' own home peo
ple had already been denied admission.
But Doctor Brooks learned that Inger
soll was at the door, and sent out word
that he should come In.
After the Interview, and as Colonel
Ingersoll was about to leave, he said
"Doctor Brooks, your man told me
that you had denied yourself to some
f your home people this morning. Now
how is it that you have admitted me, a
stranger?"
"Oh. that's quite easy," said Doctor
Brooks, laughing. "They are my
church-members, and I shall see them
again, here or In heaven, but Isn't It
right for me to consider your belief.
and that I shall probably never meet
you again!" N '
Bridegroom & nt Away.
A Polynesian bridegroom Is conspic
uous by his absence during the wed
ding festivities. As soon as negotia
tions are opened with the family of tbe
bride, the young man is "sent into the
bush," and there be Is obliged to stay
until the wedding ceremonies are com
pleted.
Will Be DIapnointln.
An English scientist shows that liquid
air cannot do the great things expected
of it as a source of power or of refriger
ation. Tbe cost of manufacture Is such
that it cannot pay to use tbe air pro
duced by the evaporation of the liquid
for the propulsion of an engine. For
refrigeration a lump of Ice beats a bot
tle of the liquid air. '
Style is only the frame to hold our
thoughts.- It Is like tbe sash of a win
dow If heavy it will obscure the light.
TRUMPET CALL
Bor.8...ds. War.!-. Net.
to the Uaredeeaaed.
--QlMIS Is ine great
VH teacher.
He only gets who
gives.
Love alone Inter
prets all life.
Weal and woe
are the web and
woof of life.
The sin the soul
loveth Is the sin
the Lord hateth.
The true church
Is a giving, and
not a getting Institution.
God rewards not rashness, but faith
fulness. Only he can truly teach who Is him
self teachable.
Faith takes the step from the crea
tion to the Creator.
The most romantic lost-treasure ex
pedition Is Christ's.
Suppression of honest Investigation
means- retrogression.
Courage without conscience la little
better than cowardice.
The truly refined man is be who has
been purged from the dross of self.
The law that be who will not work
shall not eat applies to churches.
The saloon Is labor's greatest foe, be
cause It steals the laboring man's cap
ital. Tbe hope of Immortality Is man's
morning star, and Christ, bis full-orbed
day.
Some churches ought to put a collec
tion box on their steeples instead of a
cross.
You cannot afford to purchase your
pleasures at the price of another's per
dition. The church that Is seeking the rich
may get their riches, but It wUl lose Its
reward.
Originality biases a new track, while
eccentricity runs on one wheel in an
old rut
True love would rather wound itself
by the loss of pleasure than hurt oth
ers by Indulgence therein.
Abraham is an 'example of moral
courage in leaving Chaldea, but of mor
al cowardice In leaving the truth.
If some folk spent as much time In
knowing men as they do in finding out
things about them, they would make a
better business of life.
Like Fladiag ffleaey.
The use of the Endless Chain Staroh
Book In the purchase ot "Bed Cross" and
''Hublnger's Best" staroh, makes It Just
like finding money. Why, for only Sa yon
are enabled te get one large lOo paekage
ot "Red Cross" staroh, one large lOo pack
age ot "Hublnger's Beat" staroh, with the
premiums, two Shakespeare panels, print
ed In twelve beautiful colors, or one Twen
tieth Century Girl Calendar, embossed in
gold. Ask your grooer for this starch and
obtain the beautiful Christmas presents free
How to Pnalsb Yonr Enemy.
"Housekeepers in the southern part
of the city." says the Philadelphia Rec
ord, "have been surprised, of late years
at the number of lemons thrown over
the fences Into back yards. These were
usually attributed to mischievous boys.
Where they got so many lemons was
always a mystery. On Friday morning
a colored cook caught a young Italian
tn the lemon-pitching act and held onto
him until bis shrieks of terror brought
her employer to the scene. Then It leak
ed out that lemon-pitching Is a super
stitious rite, designed to bewitch the
party against whom It Is directed. The
lemon is stuck full of pins, at the in
sertion of which the worker of the spell
says, 'Malo Saluta.' believeing that
each pin will cause a violent and fatal
pain In the head of him against whom
It Is directed."
Ten Weeks For lO Cents.
That big family paper. The llustrattd IVetkly,
of Denver, Col . (founded 18M will be xent ten
we k on trial for 10c; clubs of 8, 50c; 12 for l.
Special offer solely to introduce it. Latent
mi-iing news and illusttations of scenery, true
stories of love and adventure. Address aa
above and mention this paper; stamps taken.
There are people who are like per
cussion caps. Energy is stored in
them, but it requires the sharp, quick
stroke of the hammer of tribulation
or opposition to bring out the fire.
Tfor Whooping Cough. Plan's Care hi a sne-
eeaernl remedy. M.P. Dietbb, J Taroop Ave.
Brooklyn. N. V. Not. 14, 1884.
Young men take a noble stand In
life's great work. The more nobly the
young man conceives of this world the
more noble will be his life.
FHm permanently curad. No fits or aervoas
ess after Stat day's use of Dr. Kline's Great
Kerve Restorer, 3 trial bottle and treatise free.
BK. a. H. Kiwa uu, wi area m, raia. ra.
It is his own most vigorous and no
ble action that man feels within him
self, as it were, the verv pulse of the
Divine Energy.
RUPTURE
Cnt Guaranteed by DR. J. B. MAYER,
1016 ARCH ST., J-HltiL. FA. Base at once;
lion lice. Endorsement of physariana. ladies
and prominent citiacna. acad for circular. Office
hours i,a.uir. a .
HISTORIC OLD BARN.
lere Qaantrlll Got His Death Weanu
In kiraalsh with Home Oaarda.
Here Is a picture of the barn where
Quantrlll received his death wound. It
s situated on the farm of Mr. W. I-
Heady, about a mile west of Wakefield
Station, In Spencer County, Kentucky,
md ts an old-fashioned building, com
mon in Kentucky in ante-bellum day.
The Interior contains but one apart-
WHEUB QUABTTBILI, WAS S1X.LKD.
ment, ordinarily known as "the cutting
room." from the fact that all the feed
tor tne stoca was cbopped and pre
pared there. The room is about 60
feet square, with loft above It The
bnrn was. In the palmy days, surround
ed on all sides by sheds 16 feet la
width. These sheds, at this time most
ly fallen away, were used for various
purposes. Qunntrlll and his men were
occupying this barn when TerrlH's
band of home guards surprised and at
tacked them. In the sharp skirmish
which followed Quantrlll received
wound tn the lungs, which prostrate I
Mm.
virtue win catch as well as vice by
contact; and the public stock of hon
est, maniy principle wm oaily accu
mulate.
The laundress is sure of satisfactory results in hei
work if she uses Ivory Soap. Linens are of immaculate
whiteness; no dirt or streaks anywhere. There's no
room for criticism in the work when brought home.
Ivory Soap is cheaper than common soaps in the end.
A WORD OF WARNING. There are auuiy white soaps, each represented to be "just as good
as a 'Ivory';" may aas ROT. but like all counterfeits, lack the peculiar and remarkable qualities ot
ttw renuiaa. Ask for "Ivory" Soap and Insist upon getting It.
HOMESPUN PHILOSOPHY.
Ofceai satlnns eat Cosaaaoaplace Thiaace
by the Atchleea Olobe Man.
Everyone must run the risk of rain.
Nearly all earnest-looking people are
nomely.
What has become of the old-fashioned
boy who "bawled?"
Everything Is a sign of something
to the man who Is curious.
Half that a man says, be begins with,
"There ought to be a law "
8 tart to fix over an old house, and It
will cost you Just twice the original
estimate.
Women begin finding fault with a
boy by the time he Is a month old, and
never quit it.
Half the world does not know how
the other half Uvea, but Is always try
ing to find out.
Some women who succeed in pleas
ing their husbands have mighty easy
husbands to please.
Very few unmarried men know that
they are related to great men; tneir
wives make the discovery.
When a woman says she doesn't be
lieve In love, it is an evidence that she
once believed in It too much.
"I feel so mean to-day," said a man
this morning, "that I could fight a
preacher If he gave me good advice."
Watch the children carefully when
they stop blaming things on the cat,
and begin to blame them on "fate."
A doctor who does not believe in ad
vertising, told a young reporter to-day
that be wws thinking of buying an auto
mobile. Married people should be more care
ful to avoid the first quarrel than the
first scratch . on their new furniture,
but they are not.
The gossips are saying a certain mar
riage is nnhappy because tbe wife vis
Its her mother so often. Heavens, that's
what every woman does.
If women would do their own work
better, hired girls would be more com
petent; the more competent the house
keeper, the better her hired girl.
If pople write love letters that would
appear perfectly rational and proper in
print. It means they have been pun
ished for being in love before.
A man's parlor life Is short at the
best. When company comes, when he
Is a boy, he gets his cake and ice cream
In the kitchen, and when he is older,
and his daughters pass "refreshments,"
he gets his in a back room.
No Cure, No Pay,
the wav Piadlev's Eve Salve is sold.
Chronic and granulated lids cured in 30 days;
common rare eyea in 8 daya. or money
back: for tbe asking. Sold by all drug
gists, or by mail, 2oc box. J. P. Kami,
Decatur, Texas.
Although men are accused of not
knowing their own weakness, yet per
haps a few know their own strength.
It is in men as in soils, where some
times theYe Is a vein of gold which the
owner knows not of.
a or Ohio, Cm or Toum, I
Loo AS OOOTTT. t
Fbabtb J. Cunt makes oath teas ae la sn
at-uor partner of the firm of a. J. Cataira-r
Uo doing traataesain the OityofToledo.Conn.ty
and State aforesaid, and that said Ann will pay
the aom of ostb artm dud oouiaai far each
and every ease of catarrh that cannot be
tared by the sue of HAUa Catabbh crraa.
run 4. ivanaTT.
Swora to before me and sobacrlbad la my
I presence, this Sth day of December,
BBAI.VaCO.lBBi. A. W. OuRAaoa,
. ) Kotarw PitbHe.
HalTa Catarrh Care la taken iatarnallv. and
acta dirvetiy on the blood and mvoooa rarxaeea
af the system. Send for taatlmoeiale. free.
r. 4. uhbhbt IO- -loteoo. u.
Sold by Dronista, 78c
HalTa Family HUs
are the baa.
Boring Ijake.
About 100 miles north of Oroville, at
he foot of Mount Lassen, California,
there is a boiling lake covering several
acres. The depth of the lake Is un
known, but Its entire surface constant
ly boils like a huge kettle. Between It
and the mountain there are a thousand
boiling, bubbling hot springs. 8outh of
this lake there are several geysers that
shoot up streams of hot water from five
to ten feet in diameter, and eighteen to
twenty feet high. There are similar
geysers in New Zealand and the Yel
lowstone country in North America.
Labor
is but refreshment from re-
pose..
The first flea naranna nnMnrine th
Krocer will eaeh obtain one large lOo
Me package of Hbisa;er'a Beet" MUsrcIt, two Shakespeare panels, Iriui
twelve beautiful colors, as natural aa lite, or one Twentieth Century Girl Calndar,
finest ot its kind ever printed, all absolutely free, all others procuring the Kua
Craas jmmmn Stsu-ck is something
est Invention ol the Twentieth Century. It has no equal, and surpasses an oiu
has won for itself praise from all parts of tbe United States. It has superseded every
thing kananfnM naaul n, Vnnm .n ..Inn.. In th. !. Arm, mm Tf la mmla from whe'i
riee and corn, and ehemloally prepared mpon seientlne principles by J. C. lltibingr'
KcwkatfE, lewav, an expert In the laundry profession, who has had twenty-live year
practical experience la fancy launderlne;, and wno was tne nrsc sucomaiu Jrlu
Inveotor ot all fine grades of starch la the United States. Ask yonr grocers
Btareh aad obtaia these beautiful Christmas presents irne.
a ar ua aaoersa a auau oo. cmonnuir
THE BOER VROUW.
helpmeet of Booth African Bor.li ,
la Proverbially Homely.
The Boer vrouw Is scarcely attrac
tive, as the picture shows. AmoDg the
people there are often many freib-look-
BOEB HOUSEWIFE.
Ing girls, almost pretty. But age doet
not improve their appearance. They
grow hideously fat or miserably thin
as their years Increase. For utter and
hopeless ugliness the aged Boer vrouv
easily takes the palm.
Principle flies no flag of truce
True piety is like a river; the deep
er it is the less nolne it makes.
No time is wasted in oiling the
wheels of life.
If a man has enthusiasm he can get
along without ability.
Happiness lies in our wish to make
others happy; but we want them to
feel the same way about us.
A woman with a heartache can show
a haughty demeanor, but she has to
limp when her shoes hurt.
S2)ir.3ST3iiirs
COUCH SYRUP
Cures Croup and Whooping-Cough
Unexcelled for Consumptives. Give
quick, sure results. Kefuse substitutes.
Dr. Bulti PilUcurt BihouSHCil. Trial, kotjc-
W. L. DOUGLAS
$3 &3.5Q SHOES VS
Worth. $4 to $6 compared
wun oiner maxes.
Indorfied br over
1,000,000 wearer
The Genuine have W. I.
lou!eis name and price
stamped on bottom. J akt
no substitute claimed to bi
rood. Your dealer J
should keeD them 1 r ,
not, wta will send a pa:;
nil raTarrMrst nf nnr S ! .1 1 r
Kino 01 earner, size, ana wium, t"-'-
cap toe. Catalogue C free.
W L. DOUGLAS SHOE CO., Brockton, Hasf.
48
ill)
FOR FIFTY YEARS!
MRS. WINSLOWS
SOOTHING SYRUP
has been used by millions of mthe.-H for
tbelr children while Trthlri for uvt Kitty
Years. It soothes the chll.l. soucn IBs
Sums, allays ail pain, ctirea wtnJ cuiic, unJ
a the best remedy for dtarrui.
Twenty-five Cents a Boftii
ARTERSINK
Makes writing a comfort.
ARNOLD'S COUGH
Cares Cenchs and "11
' KILLER
Prevents Consumption
All Druggists. 2SC
joinw.?ioBfn
ewsio w v;:r.rni...n, p..
Successfully P
Ltu Principal Examiner u o. ?' Jtiintf
3r in civil war, IS atli udlcatum claau,W ,
ROPfiV DISCOVERY:!
Bou of taMinsoaiala and Illityti'lraO
Free.
"r- a. a. eaxsa's sons. nx a. auunvta
Quick Relief female Fills 8oMXtr
VmmJllmm fk.l. Cfavrh Hook ttO&
tbelt
paekage ot "Med Croee" Siarcb. one
entirely new, and is without doubt tbe greu: .
I - X
ATI OK
1 u